Jason Treu's Blog, page 28

Client Success Story (Screenshot Example)

“…and Jason Treu for being an awesome coach. Without him, there is no way I would be where I am today.”

Love it when you get an amazing client to share their story (without any prompting). That’s a screenshot from Facebook.

Cheers,

Jason

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Apple Earpods versus Bose Earbuds – Which Should You Buy?

I was in the market for earbuds back in November and made a mistake. I don’t want you to do the same thing. I got the Bose earbuds over Apple.

They were “supposedly” water resistant. Well, they weren’t. It’s been a huge pain to get a new pair, and now I was told I have to purchase a new pair. That isn’t happening.

Bose was pretty clunky. It was challenging to pair them sometimes with devices, and the app didn’t work great. The sound was good, but that was it. The battery life was horrible. I was always running out of power.

So I said screw it, I’m going to Apple (which I should have done in the first place).

If you are looking for wireless earbuds, look no further than Apple Earpods. They are simple to set up (nothing to do), pretty good charge, and the sound is very good. They work very well for phone calls. It literally feels like nothing is in your ear, which is way different than Bose.

Two of my friends got caught in the rain, the earpods worked the next day. I got sweat into my Bose, and they never worked again.

When I’m running, earpods never move. Bose ones did and I would have to adjust them at some point during my run.

The only thing Bose has over Apple is the sound, which is better. But Apple has everything else by a long shot.

Bottom line: Apple knows how to make better products than anyone else.

 

 

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Why Understanding Your Patterns Creates Massive Success

Here is a question I got from a person from Amazon on my book Social Wealth.He is asking what other things he could do to have more business success (that includes building better business relationships) The key is self-awareness through pattern recognition. Let me explain why.

Your level of self-awareness is either equal to or greater than your social awareness.

That means if you have low self-awareness your ability to lead and manage others will be very poor. Well, studies find that only 10% of people are actually self-aware. I believe that number is actually high.

I’m sharing our (abridged) conversation below.

Here is the key takeaway (if you don’t time to read the conversation):

Rapid behavioral change comes down to pattern recognition – connecting the pattern with the payoff.

Once you see a pattern, you then can figure out the best course of action(s). And your more committed to taking action because you realize you are not “broken.” You are not a bad person. You’ve just done something for so long it’s apart of who you are.

It’s about connecting your past history with your current behavior. Often times what benefitted you in the past no longer serves you now.

For example, if you grew up in a household of six kids and had to talk over others to be heard, it’s no wonder you are a poor listener. Your payoff was talking over others got mommy and daddy to listen to me. You learned that not listening benefitted you. But  now not listening is hurting your productivity and leadership of your team so you have to change.

Obviously, listening is a key component of building great relationships. But you’ve got to make that linkage to create the behavioral change.

Here in lies the big challenge: If your self-awareness is low, you will miss-read the external patterns consistently even though you will believe the opposite.

Experience doesn’t change our brain’s wiring near as fast or as much as understanding the patterns that sabotage our success.

Nikolay: Thanks for the link to the team building game. Are there other Social Wealth Tools, Processes or Mindsets I need to know about?

Me: This is a good article. The article is from Harvard Business Review’s Januar 2018 on self- a

 

nd social-social awareness.

“In 10 separate investigations with nearly 5,000 participants, we examined what self-awareness really is, why we need it, and how we can increase it.

Our research revealed many surprising roadblocks, myths, and truths about what self-awareness is and what it takes to improve it. We’ve found that even though most people believe they are self-aware, self-awareness is a truly rare quality: We estimate that only 10%–15% of the people we studied actually fit the criteria.”

The biggest challenge to building relationships, personally and professionally, is our own blind spots and patterns that sabotage our success. Cultivating your own self-awareness is the single best thing you can do.


Nikolay: Thanks for the great article Jason.  So building social skills is not only understanding other people but also understanding yourself on a deeper level. That also means self-awareness is key.

Me: Yes. Self-Awareness is the key to great relationships. It starts on the inside. Then you can operate in a much more powerful state. And it’s not just confidence or mindset.


It’s identifying blind spots and unconscious patterns/habits you’ve been doing probably your whole life. Could also be a traumatic event.

Then finding ways to move past them.

For example, if you grew up in a household of 6 kids and had to talk over others to be heard, it’s no wonder you are a poor listener. Listening is a key component of building great relationships. You’ve got to make that linkage to create the behavioral change.

Nikolay: So its self-examination plus working from the inside-out. I think that being a good listener means that you put him or her first, not yourself. Again thank you for the great advice Jason. You live and breathe what you preach in your book

Me: Yes

How Empathetic Are You? Take the Test!

Here is a brief and reliable assessment / test to measure how empathetic you are: Toronto Empathy Questionaire.

“Empathy is an important component of social cognition that contributes to our ability to understand and respond adaptively to others’ emotions, succeed in emotional communication, and promote prosocial behavior.”

It’s a key leadership and management skill set to master.

Here is a sample set of the questions. Click here to take the test.

When someone else is feeling excited, I tend to get excited too


Other people’s misfortunes do not disturb me a great deal


It upsets me to see someone being treated disrespectfully


I remain unaffected when someone close to me is happy


I enjoy making other people feel better


I have tender, concerned feelings for people less fortunate than me


When a friend starts to talk about his\her problems, I try to steer the conversation towards something else


I can tell when others are sad even when they do not say anything


I find that I am “in tune” with other people’s moods


I do not feel sympathy for people who cause their own serious illnesses

How did you score?

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Is Negative Self Talk Natural?

Your brain is wired for survival, not to make you happy. It’s designed to question everything and be negative.

So negative self-talk is natural and we all do it because its purpose is to keep us safe from harm. But negative self-talk, left unchecked, can leave you feeling as though you aren’t enough, and exacerbate comparison and perfectionism. This can be crippling for your business and career success (and your personal life as well).

It may be subtle, but a negative core belief will have a serious impact on your success and fulfillment in business and life.

Awareness is the first and vital step.

Become aware that this self-talk is going on. Be aware, too, that you are constantly telling yourself something.

You are constantly creating the life you are living right now. You are constantly telling yourself a story. You are constantly thinking about your story. You may even be telling others your story when you complain to them about your life.

If you struggle with negative thoughts and self-sabotage, I recommend checking out The Dialectical Skills Behavior Workbook. It has excellent exercises and techniques to help get around mental challenges and roadblocks.

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How to Use Gratitude to Fuel Business Success

Most people don’t consciously spend time thinking of what they are grateful for and all the blessings in their lives, but gratitude is the gateway to happiness and abundance. It opens a window to positivity and wards off negativity, scarcity, and our fears.

Find a quiet area, close your eyes, take several deep breaths, and think about:

A moment in your past that you are deeply grateful. Put yourself back in that moment and visualize it. How did you feel? What about that moment made you feel grateful and thankful? Was this a life-changing moment? What impact did it have on you at the time? Do you still feel the impact today? What would you say to the people who played a role in your grateful moment?
Now do this with two additional moments.

I want you to do this exercise so you can feel gratefulness in your life and the impact it can have. Thinking about being grateful is one thing, but feeling it is much more powerful and empowering.

Gratefulness is one of those often-overlooked practices that we let go by the wayside because we’re always eager for more, and in the midst of our desires, we take a lot of things for granted. We’re always comparing ourselves to others and always seeking more of something, whether it’s money, fame, validation, or acceptance.

We overlook things that are already going great in our lives and focus on what’s not there.  Whatever you focus on is what you will have.

There is nothing like a gratitude list to remind yourself of what’s great in your life already, and to build up your arsenal to combat negativity and scarcity. When you focus on being grateful, you focus on abundance.

Gratitude is also the key to happiness. There is an incredible amount of research dedicated to showing how powerful being grateful is and how it can impact your happiness. The Greater Good Science Center, based at UC Berkeley, is a leader in the field. I encourage you to check out their website.

In fact, the more grateful you are for things, the more you will find to be grateful for, instead of focusing on what’s missing.

This process starts with your grateful list.

Start with simple things:

I am so grateful that I have a roof over my head.
I’m so grateful that I have enough to eat.
I am so grateful that I’m healthy.
I’m so grateful that I have a job.
I am so grateful that I have a car.

Focus on what is going great in your life, and try not to get caught up on what you don’t have.

Consider, too, what you may take for granted. A lot of people, for instance, don’t recognize what great health they’re in until they experience a health crisis. When they recover, their health means that much more to them. Include these aspects of your life in your gratitude list. This list is going to be different for everybody. Whatever it is for you, embrace that.

Do your gratitude practice out loud when you first wake up. It’s important to do this out loud. The mind-body connection you make when you declare something out loud makes this practice especially more effective. When I started saying my gratitude list out loud, and I could actually hear what I was grateful for, I got more excited about it and felt a powerful sense of positivity.

List new things every day so you can fully focus your attention, rather than just go through the motions with memorized items. List three things—more if you want to, but no fewer than three. The idea is to make this a daily practice and to stick with it.

Share your gratitude:

Think of two people in your life that you are really grateful for, who helped you with a specific challenge or who were there for you during a difficult time. Now email or write them a card telling them you’re grateful for them, then tell them, specifically, why. You may tell your friends and family you love them often— that’s great. Sharing with them how they’ve impacted your life, exactly what they did to support, motivate, guide, or help you, is even more powerful. It’s one thing to tell someone you love them; it’s another thing to tell them specifically why you love them and what they did for you that you truly appreciate. Try it, and you will see some amazing results!

Your Gratitude Jar:

Here is another way you can create more gratefulness in your life. Buy a jar, and every day write down what you are grateful for on one or two small slips of paper. Put them in the jar and watch the stack grow over time. In December, take out the pieces of paper and read all the amazing things you have been grateful for during the year. Start the process over every January 1st.

Start being more grateful in your life and you’ll see many new possibilities open up. You’ll start feeling more energetic and excited. You’ll start being more successful in every area of your life.

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Do You Want to Be Right or Happy?

Do You Want to Be Right or Happy?

My dad only saw the world as black and white. He had to be right at all costs. He’d argue it was raining outside even if it was sunny, and try to get you to agree with him. He was stubborn and bullheaded.

That was his way. He alienated his family, friends, co-workers and boss.

Ultimately, he ended up being alone and dying alone.

He ended up being right, but he wasn’t happy.

Do you know anyone like that in your life? What’s the cost for them?

I share this message with almost every one of my clients because at some point they refuse to take into consideration that they may be wrong. They shut down and refuse to listen to other points of view.

Many leaders rather fight, argue and steamroll over people to get their way no matter the cost. They are so certain of their stance on an issue, they refuse to see the other side. Or even if they listen, they’ve already have made their mind up.

They alienate people in the process, and that type of leadership kills teamwork. You also hurt performance, retention, creativity, problem-solving and so much more.

When you lead with fear and a whip, do you think that brings out the best in people? Do you think they are more engaged? Do you think they will come to you with problems and suggested solutions?

The answer is obviously NO!

The skills you should use here is listening and empathy. Seek to understand the other person and the overall situation.

Why is the other person taking the position they are? What information do they have? What are they feeling? What’s their payoff or what are they trying to gain? Is there common ground to meet in the middle? If you have to push your agenda, how can you make the other person feel better about the situation?

These are some of the questions you should be asking yourself.

Because you’ll win the battle, but lose the war.

You’ll have a lot more stress, problems, and distractions that go along with it.

It’s a sure-fire recipe to lower your key metrics, get people to leave the organization and decrease engagement.

Seek to understand and listen first. You’ll see everything in your organization improve almost instantly.

So…do you want to be right or happy?

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Episode 32: Take Care Of Yourself First, with Jason Treu

Check out my podcast interview on Absolute Advantage: ‪http://absoluteadvantagepodcast.com/jason-treu/‬

Jason Treu is a business and executive coach and former lawyer. He’s an expert in leadership, human behavior, influence, networking, and culture-building. He’s helped his clients meet influencers such as Richard Branson, Bill Gates, Tim Cook, create more than $1B in wealth in last 3 years, and get on influential boards such as TED and Xprize.

His bestselling book, “Social Wealth, the how-to-guide on building personal and professional relationships,” has sold more than 45,000 copies on Amazon, has been #1 in four business and self-help categories, and has more than 125+ five star reviews.

What you’ll learn about in this episode:

Jason’s journey

“Social Wealth”: Jason’s bestselling book

Why you need to focus on soft skills the most — even though we typically focus on them the least

What Jason has learned from Brené Brown from her Ted talk and books

Why Jason had to part with his business partner to move his business towards the next level

Building a team that helps you see your blind spots

Why it’s so important to know what you’re doing what you’re doing right

Surrounding yourself with the right people

Practicing gratitude in your life

Why you need to get comfortable with your circle adapting to where you’re going

Creating a people-first culture

The difference between “A Players,” “B Players,” and “C Players”

How “C Players” kill organizations and zap productivity away from “A Players” and “B Players”

Why you need to have a succession plan

Why you have to invest in your “A Players” — and why people tend to focus on their “B Players”

Why you MUST invest yourself

Why keeping a tight calendar is so important

Ways to contact Jason:

Website: www.jasontreu.com

Twitter: @jasontreu

Book: “Social Wealth”

Coaching: www.jasontreu.com/services

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Best Team Building Game to Increase Performance

Here is the best team building game to increase performance in any size company, Cards Against Mundanity. It will also increase retention, creativity, collaboration, and communication. You’ll see a noticeable difference in 45 minutes. More than 100 organizations from Fortune 100 to very small business are using the game to build higher performing team. Executive teams, Board of Directors, Sales Teams, Human Resources teams, Operations teams, Marketing and PR teams, and more have already played it.

It’s free and comes with instructions and takes five minutes to set up. You can use it across multiple teams and accrue the results even when people aren’t in the same room. You can also use it over Zoom with remote teams.

Here are three example cards from The Cards Against Mundanity team building game.

There are two types of questions:

There are “conversation starter” questions like [What was your favorite summer job? And why?].

 

And “connection questions,” which are more revealing ones like [If you could pick one year of your life to do-over, which would it be and why?].

 

The game is question and answer, question and answer. Four to 12 people. Everyone answers at least 3 questions. Pick the top card, read it, and answer it. Put it on the bottom. Next person goes.

To keep it moving, use a two-minute maximum to answer questions.

The leader goes first…answering a “connection question.” Why? Because people will only play as much as they feel free to. When a leader is vulnerable it tells everyone else it is safe to share.

At the end of the “game,” each person has one minute to share one thing they learned about three different people.

What happens? Some groups dive right in. Some groups take a little longer to get warmed up. People cry, laugh, smile and walk away feeling much more supported and connected to the people in the group.

No matter how people start, they finish strong and it carries into their performance. Teams crush their key metrics. Sales teams beat their forecasts. People are happier, more fulfilled and more productive.

Download Cards Against Mundanity here.

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Psychological Safety is the #1 Factor in Building Great Teams

I’ve studied and interviewed hundreds of successful managers and leaders over the past two years. I’ve seen psychological safety is the number one factor in every single high performing team.

Google found that same thing out in Project Aristotle where they studied their top 180 teams over a three year period and looked at more than 250 factors.

Here is a document Google created on how to foster psychological safety in teams. It’s worth a read. Check it out below.

How to foster Psychological Safety on your teams

Demonstrate engagement




Be present and focus on the conversation (e.g., close your laptop during  meetings)
Ask questions with the intention of learning from your teammates
Offer input, be interactive, and show you’re listening
Respond verbally to show engagement (“That makes sense. Tell us more.”)
Be aware of your body language; make sure to lean towards or face the person speaking
Make eye contact to show connection and active listening




Show understanding




Recap what’s been said to confirm mutual understanding/alignment (e.g., “What I heard you say is…”); then acknowledge areas of agreement, disagreement, and be open to questions within the group
Validate comments verbally  (“I understand.” “I see what you’re saying.”)
Avoid placing blame (“Why did you do this?”) and focus on solutions (“How can we work toward making sure this goes more smoothly next time?”, “What can we do together to make a game plan for next time?”)
Think about your facial expressions- – are they unintentionally negative (a scowl or grimace)?
Nod your head to demonstrate understanding during conversations/meetings




Be inclusive in interpersonal settings




Share information about your personal work style and preferences, encourage teammates to do the same
Be available and approachable to teammates (e.g., make time for ad hoc 1:1 conversations, feedback sessions, career coaching)
Clearly communicate the purpose of ad hoc meetings scheduled outside normal 1:1s/team meetings
Express gratitude for contributions from the team
Step in if team members talk negatively about another team member
Have open body posture (e.g., face all team members, don’t turn your back to part of the group)
Build rapport (e.g.,  talk with your teammates about their lives outside of work)




Be inclusive in decision-making




Solicit input, opinions, and feedback from your teammates
Don’t interrupt or allow interruptions (e.g., step in when someone is interrupted and ensure his/her idea is heard)
Explain the reasoning behind your decisions (live or via email, walk team through how you arrived at a decision)
Acknowledge input from others (e.g., highlight when team members were contributors to a success or decision)




Show confidence and conviction without appearing inflexible




Manage team discussions (e.g., don’t allow side conversations in team meetings, make sure conflict isn’t personal)
Use a voice that is clear and audible in a team setting
Support and represent the team (e.g., share team’s work with senior leadership, give credit to teammates)
Invite the team to challenge your perspective and push back
Model vulnerability; share your personal perspective on work and failures with your teammates
Encourage teammates to take risks, and demonstrate risk-taking in your own work




Sources




Edmondson and Lei (2014). “Psychological Safety: The History, Renaissance, and Future of an Interpersonal Construct,” Annual Review Organizational Psychology and Organizational Behavior.
Edmondson (1999). Psychological safety and learning behavior in work teams. Administrative Science Quarterly June 1999.
Goman, Carol Kinsey Ph.D.. ‘The Silent Language of Leaders: How Body Language Can Help–or Hurt–How You Lead.’ Jossey-Bass Publishing, April 2011.

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