Ben Tanzer's Blog, page 164

We were off the grid. And now we are Dogzplot theme issue. Let goodness ensue.

More here. Big thanks to the G Funk for all of it.

More nod. More holiday season. And some Christmas wishes courtesy of faux TBWCYL, Inc. celebrity spokesman Steve Martin.

If we at TBWCYL, Inc. had one wish that we could wish this holiday season, it would be that all the children to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. If we had two wishes we could make this holiday season, the first would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing in the spirit of harmony and peace. And the second would be for 30 million dollars a month to be given to us, tax-free in a Swiss bank account. You know, if we had three wishes we could make this holiday season, the first, of course, would be for all the children of the world to get together and sing, the second would be for the 30 million dollars every month to us, and the third would be for even more encompassing power over every living being in the entire universe. And if we had four wishes that we could make this holiday season, the first would be the crap about the kids definitely, the second would be for the 30 million, the third would be for all the power, and the fourth would be to set aside one month each year to have an extended staff-wide 31-day orgasm, to be brought out slowly by Rosanna Arquette and that model Paulina-somebody, we can't think of her name. Of course our lovely wives, and husbands, can come too and they are all behind us one hundred percent here, we guarantee it. Wait a minute, maybe the sex thing should be the first wish, so if we made that the first wish, because it could all go boom tomorrow, then what do you got, y'know? No, no, the kids, the kids singing would be great, that would be nice. But wait a minute, who are we kidding? They're not going to be able to get all those kids together. We mean, the logistics of the thing is impossible, more trouble than it's worth! So -- we reorganize! Here we go. First, the sex thing. We go with that. Second, the money. No, we got with the power second, then the money. And then the kids. Oh wait, oh jeez, we forgot about revenge against my enemies! Okay, we need revenge against all of our enemies, they should die like pigs in hell! That would be our fourth wish. And, of course, our fifth wish would be for all the children of the world to join hands and sing together in the spirit of harmony and peace. Thank you everybody. 
(Borrowed (and slightly tweaked) from Steve Martin's monologue on the 1991 Saturday Night Live Christmas Special).[image error]

And now for a nod to the holiday season. All joyfully upon us. And such. Sequins is the Reason for the Season. Courtesy of the Tim Jones-Yelvington.

And now for a nod to the holiday season which is most suddenly, forcibly and yes, joyfully upon us. Sequins is the Reason for the Season. Courtesy of the Tim Jones-Yelvington.

Code for Failure has page. And we have anticipation. Loads of it.

More here. Word. Big word.[image error]

Cobalt includes You Can Make Him Like You on its guest-edited City Paper Best Books of 2011 list in part for being a champion of "dick-lit" and we have a new found appreciation for both dick and lit.

More fantastic list. More coolness. More honored. And big thanks to the Andrew Keating and the Cobalt. Drinks soon, yes? Yes.

We Who Are About To Die finds itself legally obligated to select You Can Make Him Like You as one of the best books it read in 2011 and we have a new found appreciation for the law.

This is a fantastic list. This is coolness. And we are most honored indeed. Big thanks to the Patrick Wensink and the We Who Are About To Die. Drinks, soon, yes? Yes.

This Podcast Will Change Your Life, Episode Forty-Three - El Presidente.

And so podcast we are. Our new episode stars Untoward Magazine's own Matt Rowan and we couldn't be happier about that. We also got to eat late night Mexican during the discussion and so in that regard we are winning, big time. Enjoy. Re-post. Be good. Lives will change. We think.

15 Views of Orlando. Hunter. Heavener. Holic. Bradley. And more. Burrow Press. Ordered. Goodness.

More here. There. Go. We did. And we think it just might change your life.

"I continuously found myself lulled into the natural cadence of his writing, only to come to the end where I would find myself helplessly sitting in a pot of boiling water, unable to jump out." So Different Now gets some love from the Jason Fisk. And likes

We love the Jason Fisk. He is a wonderful, sensitive and incisive writer attuned to the ebbs and flows of small town life and intimate relationships how our roles in these kinds of things can almost sometimes maybe work. He is also a This Zine Will Change Your Life contributor and This Podcast Will Change Your Life podcastee. And we say all this in part, because when writers like the Fisk like what we do, it can be more exciting and moving, and sometimes crushing in its way, than any positive or thoughtful reaction we might receive otherwise. All of which is to say, thanks brother, it means a ton, drinks on us when next we meet, and now for some excerpt.

"I am drawn to Tanzer's writing for the same reasons I enjoy getting a beer with him: there is a charm, in both his manner and his writing, which is simply entertaining, yet hints at a much more complex, sometimes dark, psychological underpinning. While reading this collection I continuously found myself lulled into the natural cadence of his writing, only to come to the end where I would find myself helplessly sitting in a pot of boiling water, unable to jump out."