L. Nahay's Blog
April 14, 2020
Invisible Men and Location, Location, Location
I’m thinking I need to rethink my approach here, and actually utilize my blog. I wasn’t sure what would be of interest, and I’ve been writing heavy and focused. I’ve been putting all my attention and flurry into BOOK TWO, which is why there’s been no colossal updates like:
Hey there. I’m writing!
Me again! Writing lots!
Happy (fill in the blank)! Writing’s going fairly well!
But it’s the times when it doesn’t go well, or as planned, that I think I should journey over to here, and give some insight. When you read the completed book, you can remember the struggle and laugh, or be surprised, or agree with my choices, or sob at me for them. But you’ll have been part of the road.
There has actually been a lot to share, it just didn’t occur to me that I should. Actually. Share. I follow a lot of authors on Instagram and Twitter, and love the story behind the story. I love the glimpses into their lives and the insight into them as people. Again, didn’t occur to me to share, or moments were over so quick, it no longer seemed relevant. I also started taking part in daily, month long, themed writer challenges I found by accident on Instagram. It was a lot of fun, a little work, and usually challenging. It brought a lot of different-angled insight into BOOK TWO and all the characters, introduced me to some more Indie authors and their great books, and was just all around a good thing to be part of.
With the sudden Obvious-Thing-I-Don’t-Want-To-Mention, I needed a bit of a break and reset, so this month, no new challenges. I am just writing. I am going to meet my goals and get Number Two finished this year. This is a must. Last fall, I decided to share with my writers group and began to read from the middle. There was much needed positive feedback, but for me, the scene kept transforming and lengthening, and it felt like I was never going to reach its end. It wrote smooth and perfect, don't misunderstand, and I'm really pleased and proud, but it just wouldn't end! And it's what occurs immediately prior to the Big Central Event……I was getting antsy and impatient.
Well, Sunday, I reached my biggest writing goal for Book Two: the Big Central Event! Mr. Him is visible again! So much changed from when I first wrote it- which was back during Red’s first draft. Actually, I knew this scene before I knew the entire rest of the story. It was the vision I had that sparked everything else. It was such a raw thing: two people confronting each other in a forest, and there’s hurt and anger and fear. But threading through everything is an insane amount of love. More profound than love. I felt everything Lira felt, and it was monstrously heavy and heartbreaking. WTH could have caused this confrontation between two people like them? That question is what birthed Red. So, this scene is pivotal and personally important. It is what began it all.
A lot has occurred between Red and now. There’s new people, there’s been a lot of healing and friendships, and power dynamics have shifted. Lira has changed. The afters of this scene have improved and chronologically rearranged, and I’m returning to this point with a much deeper knowledge of Mr. Him and what he’s been up to, what he’s been struggling with prior to deciding that now is the time to finally make himself re-known.
I was very disappointed to find that what I had written was not as gripping and emotional as I remember. WTactualH?? I rewrote it, and still, it felt flat. I had always seen them in the trees. It morphed into a symbolic way to play against the first time they were together, when all was rosy and golden and warm. Trees have always been part of her security, and she doesn’t feel safe anymore. Now she feels like they’re trapping her, they’ve become that hallway of trees that deposits her and dead-ends. This is what the location was supposed to portray.
Then too, originally, he kinda ambushes her. Not kinda, he does. For the last few years I've been struggling with this fact. I wanted her alone and unsuspecting, I wanted this tense and gripping and private- yep- raw and emotional exchange. I had written his greeting as a kiss, one of those abrupt, no warning things the movies tell us are romantic and passionate. I wanted her to be reminded of what kissing him feels like, to jumpstart a rewire in her thinking. But you know what, a couple years ago, I was kissed like that, and it actually pissed me off. It was not romantic. It was not passionate, or thoughtful, or reverent. And Mr. Him is exceptionally reverent towards her. He would also never ambush her, this way or any other.
To get into the trees, based on where everything starts, she has to run away from him, with her son in tow. Blaze’s inclusion offered a lot of good understory, showed touching glimpses into Mr. Him, and helped increase her confusion. But I didn’t like the position this scenario put her in. I didn’t like that she fled. She’s come a long way, and I want her to get angry and stand up for herself rather than fall apart. She is not going to meet him crying on her knees after brainlessly running away. Yes, fight or flight, but no f’n way.
There were moments in the night before where I could’ve led her blissfully into the forest. But she wouldn’t go, and I humbly shrugged and didn’t push. Plus again, he’s reverent, and time of day matters to him.
I decided to play a writing game and challenge myself: Instead of running, instead of being outside and amongst her trees, why not rewrite the scene with her remaining indoors? The worst that happens is I lose a day or three to a scene I don’t keep. If I see it as a waste and whine, I turn myself into a bitter writer, and no one likes a bitter writer. Granted, she doesn’t normally like being between walls, and given the location of the indoors and the setup, instead of her and him alone (with Blaze) she will have more of an audience. There goes her privacy and his anonymity.
I already didn’t like it. But I was going to be a trooper and humor myself anyway. I made a copy of the chapter, labelled it as ‘inside’ and made the other ‘outside’, and got to work.
So, we’ll see what gets chosen in the end.
Hey there. I’m writing!
Me again! Writing lots!
Happy (fill in the blank)! Writing’s going fairly well!
But it’s the times when it doesn’t go well, or as planned, that I think I should journey over to here, and give some insight. When you read the completed book, you can remember the struggle and laugh, or be surprised, or agree with my choices, or sob at me for them. But you’ll have been part of the road.
There has actually been a lot to share, it just didn’t occur to me that I should. Actually. Share. I follow a lot of authors on Instagram and Twitter, and love the story behind the story. I love the glimpses into their lives and the insight into them as people. Again, didn’t occur to me to share, or moments were over so quick, it no longer seemed relevant. I also started taking part in daily, month long, themed writer challenges I found by accident on Instagram. It was a lot of fun, a little work, and usually challenging. It brought a lot of different-angled insight into BOOK TWO and all the characters, introduced me to some more Indie authors and their great books, and was just all around a good thing to be part of.
With the sudden Obvious-Thing-I-Don’t-Want-To-Mention, I needed a bit of a break and reset, so this month, no new challenges. I am just writing. I am going to meet my goals and get Number Two finished this year. This is a must. Last fall, I decided to share with my writers group and began to read from the middle. There was much needed positive feedback, but for me, the scene kept transforming and lengthening, and it felt like I was never going to reach its end. It wrote smooth and perfect, don't misunderstand, and I'm really pleased and proud, but it just wouldn't end! And it's what occurs immediately prior to the Big Central Event……I was getting antsy and impatient.
Well, Sunday, I reached my biggest writing goal for Book Two: the Big Central Event! Mr. Him is visible again! So much changed from when I first wrote it- which was back during Red’s first draft. Actually, I knew this scene before I knew the entire rest of the story. It was the vision I had that sparked everything else. It was such a raw thing: two people confronting each other in a forest, and there’s hurt and anger and fear. But threading through everything is an insane amount of love. More profound than love. I felt everything Lira felt, and it was monstrously heavy and heartbreaking. WTH could have caused this confrontation between two people like them? That question is what birthed Red. So, this scene is pivotal and personally important. It is what began it all.
A lot has occurred between Red and now. There’s new people, there’s been a lot of healing and friendships, and power dynamics have shifted. Lira has changed. The afters of this scene have improved and chronologically rearranged, and I’m returning to this point with a much deeper knowledge of Mr. Him and what he’s been up to, what he’s been struggling with prior to deciding that now is the time to finally make himself re-known.
I was very disappointed to find that what I had written was not as gripping and emotional as I remember. WTactualH?? I rewrote it, and still, it felt flat. I had always seen them in the trees. It morphed into a symbolic way to play against the first time they were together, when all was rosy and golden and warm. Trees have always been part of her security, and she doesn’t feel safe anymore. Now she feels like they’re trapping her, they’ve become that hallway of trees that deposits her and dead-ends. This is what the location was supposed to portray.
Then too, originally, he kinda ambushes her. Not kinda, he does. For the last few years I've been struggling with this fact. I wanted her alone and unsuspecting, I wanted this tense and gripping and private- yep- raw and emotional exchange. I had written his greeting as a kiss, one of those abrupt, no warning things the movies tell us are romantic and passionate. I wanted her to be reminded of what kissing him feels like, to jumpstart a rewire in her thinking. But you know what, a couple years ago, I was kissed like that, and it actually pissed me off. It was not romantic. It was not passionate, or thoughtful, or reverent. And Mr. Him is exceptionally reverent towards her. He would also never ambush her, this way or any other.
To get into the trees, based on where everything starts, she has to run away from him, with her son in tow. Blaze’s inclusion offered a lot of good understory, showed touching glimpses into Mr. Him, and helped increase her confusion. But I didn’t like the position this scenario put her in. I didn’t like that she fled. She’s come a long way, and I want her to get angry and stand up for herself rather than fall apart. She is not going to meet him crying on her knees after brainlessly running away. Yes, fight or flight, but no f’n way.
There were moments in the night before where I could’ve led her blissfully into the forest. But she wouldn’t go, and I humbly shrugged and didn’t push. Plus again, he’s reverent, and time of day matters to him.
I decided to play a writing game and challenge myself: Instead of running, instead of being outside and amongst her trees, why not rewrite the scene with her remaining indoors? The worst that happens is I lose a day or three to a scene I don’t keep. If I see it as a waste and whine, I turn myself into a bitter writer, and no one likes a bitter writer. Granted, she doesn’t normally like being between walls, and given the location of the indoors and the setup, instead of her and him alone (with Blaze) she will have more of an audience. There goes her privacy and his anonymity.
I already didn’t like it. But I was going to be a trooper and humor myself anyway. I made a copy of the chapter, labelled it as ‘inside’ and made the other ‘outside’, and got to work.
So, we’ll see what gets chosen in the end.
April 4, 2020
MASK YOUR FACE: DIY face masks
When these first started popping up last month, I was heavily skeptical. I'm a surgical/clinical pathology Veterinary Nurse. What will cotton do?
Joann Fabrics (my local craft chain), posted a how-to video on Instagram, stating they will offer the necessary supplies and will distribute donated masks. At the same time, about a week ago, my state veterinary association sent out an email wanting all the state's vet clinics to submit an inventory of their PPE, in the event our state follows the way NY has gone. There will be no question: vet PPE has to go to the human clinicians. My clinic has already begun to donate ours.
There is a very real deficit of PPE for those who will be truly face to face with Covid-19. I did research, watched several videos. The rules are changing as hospitals use them. First, they were required to have three layers. Some instructionals used fusible webbing in between two fabric outer layers. Then they required duck cloth, which is a very heavy duty fabric that quickly sold out.
They learned that the elastic loops people initially sewed for ear loops were abrasive, and also didn't hold up in the autoclaves. They began experimenting with coffee filters and vacuum filters placed inside, and decided these worked better than nothing at all. So, DIYers began sewing masks with pockets. It is incredibly aggravating and heartbreaking that this is what is happening: Coffee filters to protect our entire population of working doctors and nurses in the face of a pandemic. It's unconscionable.
Hospitals began making their own cloth mask covers to place over their non-reusable but reused masks out of a single layer of surgical instrument wrap. It turns out, these are rated as N98- even better than standard N95 masks (which means they effectively block 98%, or 95%, of 0.3 micron particulates). So, now they can insert actual medical-grade things that are autoclavable into our handmade masks as a filter. Because of this, my area is now accepting all cotton masks.
Read this article by the FDA to better understand how face masks and N95s differ.
After watching several videos and looking at pictures of other people's masks, I combined the best components and modeled my pattern after a mask I have on hand. I wanted simple and fast. No fancy edges. No complicated patterns. If you have a sewing machine, you have all the skills you need for this.
For the ties, I used single fold, double wide bias tape as I seemed to have collected a lot over the years. It is now difficult to find. My fabric stores are out- or completely closed. Online shipping is twice the cost of the tape. I did find a couple more at Walmart the other day, but shopping there made me feel all sorts of wrong. Too many people. You can use strips of leftover fabric, folded, ironed, and stitched the same way.
1. I used my thickest cotton fabrics, and washed them (regardless of if I'd previously washed them, way back when) to allow them to shrink now rather than later. Being cotton, they came out wrinkled, so iron them up! After that, I cut them into 8" x 12.5" rectangles.
2. While your cottons are washing, get your ties ready. Cut the bias tape into 16" strips. You'll need 4 per mask.Once cut, fold them in half, iron, and then stitch close to the edge.
I originally started with a little shorter, measuring them from my ear to a comfortable length to tie into a bow on top of my head. But, they're made out of 45% polyester, and they shrunk by an inch when I first ironed them. If you can make them longer, like 17", do that.
2.5 I'd made several masks before I figured out that my ties shrunk. So, I cut strips of my cloth and a strip of the bias tape after it was ironed and shrunk, and ran them in my autoclave at work at a standard instrument setting, which is what the hospitals will do. No, you won't be worrying about this! But I have access, so I did it before I went any further. The strips didn't shrink any further. (phew. Proceed!)
2.8 To make things quick and easier, I sewed all the bias at once, leaving only about 1/4 inch in-between each strip- without cutting the threads. Then, when all were stitched closed, I went through and cut the threads linking each strand. 
3. Now we pin our ties to our rectangles. Place your cloth right side up, and pin a tie at either end, 1/2" down from the edge.
Next, pin a tie at either side, at the 6.5" mark. Lay your ties up the center, and fold your rectangle up.
4. Next, pin 2.5 inches from the side, on both sides. Stitch, leaving the area between the pins open. Reinforce your stitches across each tie. These are going to be pulled taunt often. You don't want them getting ripped from the mask.This is going to allow you to turn the mask right-side out. It will also become the entry by which filters can be placed. The entire mask is essentially a big pocket.
5. Clip off your corners close to the stitching to allow for easy turning. Turn right-side out
Iron flat.
6. The opening is now the bottom.On to our pleats! (I hate pleats, but these aren't bad). This allows for the mask to open like a half circle around the person's face, from nose to under the chin.
Starting with the lower tie, measure from its top to an inch above, and bring those two marks together. Pin.
Do that two more times, so that you have a total of three pleats between the upper and lower ties. Repeat on the other side, then iron flat to make sewing easier.
Refer to picture for the direction the pleats should run. Remembering that your pocket is the bottom of the mask, your pleats should run DOWN.
7. Stitch along the edge, reinforcing over pleats, and NOT closing the pocket opening.
I began at the beginning of one pocket edge, then went all the way around to the other.
8. As a final, I made another pocket for a metal insert to better mold the masks around a person's nose. Surgical and N95s have metal strips built in that you bend around your nose in order to provide a tighter, more profile hugging fit. This way, should you cough, or just breathe, the bulk of that filters through the mask, rather than escaping out of it through gaps formed by facial contours.I cut a 4" strip from extra wide double fold bias tape I also had on hand.
Flip your mask over to the back. The back is found by noting how the pleats run. On the front, they run DOWN. On the back, they run UP. Center the strip over the center of the mask, pin in place, and then stitch first the upper long edge, the short edge, and the other long edge, leaving a short edge open.
Honestly, I don't know what they're using. Some say paper clips, others any craft metal. This will have to be up to them, but at least we provided a way for them to have it. If nothing else, the strips provide extra cushion and mark the back of the mask- which is important to prevent contamination if the mask is removed and needs to be replaced.
Voila!I did everything in batches. Sewed all my bias tape. Cut all my fabric. Pinned all my ties, sewed all my rectangles, etc, rather than one mask at a time. I felt it went quicker and was more efficient. Each portion only takes a few minutes.
Please donate, as well as making some for yourselves and family. Health care personnel, nursing homes, birthing centers, they are struggling to get PPE as well. I did a simple Google search and found a local hospital (in lieu of my closed fabric store) that is taking donated cloth masks. I also found a Facebook Group for my area that keeps up to date with the changes and takes in requests from health care providers. The last time I checked, earlier in the week, they had 5000 requests from local clinics, hospitals, and nursing homes. For yourselves: always be mindful of the front and backs of your masks. Do not ever touch the side that will lay against your mouth. Do not lay this down upon anything, either, or you have rendered your mask contaminated and therefore useless. Store them in a baggie when you don't wear them, and label those bags as 'top' and 'bottom', so the mask always gets put in the same way, and doesn't contaminate itself.
For yourselves, wash them often and keep a few to switch between. Adjust widths for children if needed.
Stay safe, and stay well. Look out for each other.
-L
April 3, 2020
I BLAME THE QUARANTINE
I blame the quarantine: that my daily commute takes 30 minutes instead of 90. That I drive 80mph instead of 0-10, and that it gives me a horrible sinking feeling instead of joy. I wonder where all the people I’d normally curse at have gone, and if they’re ok, and if they can pay for their homes and food. Chicago’s suddenly quiet. Vacant.
I’m an ‘essential’ employee, and I’m grateful to be one of the few allowed to keep earning a paycheck, because the financial loss would be crippling. I was swept into the 2008 housing crash when- as a newly single parent- I was forced to foreclose. For my soul and self-worth, I cannot lose my recently purchased home. Not again.
I go to work but my gratitude has ended. I’m panicked, and nervous, and tense. There’s a cloud of impending doom that darkens and lowers from its looming perch every day. Co-workers look at each other as though they could be spies for this new plague, ready to drop an invisible bug within our confining concrete walls. We don’t joke like we use to. We can’t eat together. All these sprays and disinfectants we breathe in are going to give us cancer.
There’s signs barring more than two people in a room, and shouts of ‘six feet apart!’ whenever someone’s spotted too close together. Social distancing felt like an easy thing to us introverts, but now it’s impacting our morale, and I just want to sit up close and personal with someone. Anyone. My reprieve is sadly the romance I’m writing into my WIP.
I called in sick today, which would’ve been a minor thing ‘Before’, but nothing’s minor in this ‘After’, and I panicked. What if I’m the spy with the killer bug? I blame the quarantine.
**this was a 300 word writing prompt from an English Professor at Rhode Island College, who is collecting 'Windows' into people's experience. To read the article, follow this link.
I’m an ‘essential’ employee, and I’m grateful to be one of the few allowed to keep earning a paycheck, because the financial loss would be crippling. I was swept into the 2008 housing crash when- as a newly single parent- I was forced to foreclose. For my soul and self-worth, I cannot lose my recently purchased home. Not again.
I go to work but my gratitude has ended. I’m panicked, and nervous, and tense. There’s a cloud of impending doom that darkens and lowers from its looming perch every day. Co-workers look at each other as though they could be spies for this new plague, ready to drop an invisible bug within our confining concrete walls. We don’t joke like we use to. We can’t eat together. All these sprays and disinfectants we breathe in are going to give us cancer.
There’s signs barring more than two people in a room, and shouts of ‘six feet apart!’ whenever someone’s spotted too close together. Social distancing felt like an easy thing to us introverts, but now it’s impacting our morale, and I just want to sit up close and personal with someone. Anyone. My reprieve is sadly the romance I’m writing into my WIP.
I called in sick today, which would’ve been a minor thing ‘Before’, but nothing’s minor in this ‘After’, and I panicked. What if I’m the spy with the killer bug? I blame the quarantine.
**this was a 300 word writing prompt from an English Professor at Rhode Island College, who is collecting 'Windows' into people's experience. To read the article, follow this link.
January 6, 2019
Updates
The SLAM event I participated in last October was amazing. To eat and chat with a community and revel in artistry- whether through spoken word or dance or song- were ingredients to a wonderful, brilliant night. I can't wait for the next one, which should, hopefully, occur next month.
It's been a demanding year. Back problems led to learning I was dangerously anemic. Which finally explains the severe exhaustion I was battling. I'm normally a work horse, but the last year plus I could barely get off the sofa when I was home. I bought my house feeling at my peak and capable and about to enter the best phase of my life after years of struggling. And then suddenly, I can't even carry groceries into the house. Can barely walk across my house. I was embarrassed, but way more frustrated. I went through two Primary Care doctors, a spinal surgeon, and three neurologists. Still haven't a clue what's going on. My boys have been doing so much, and have made me so proud and so blessed.
But, 5 days of iron given IV. It took a month for my body to absorb it, but damnnnnn, I felt like Lira finally acknowledging that she had been sick and was not fine after all. I became unstoppable. I felt normal, and slightly stunned at how long I'd been excusing abnormal. I whipped through house projects that had been in stasis that whole time. I weeded the yard, painted my living room, and completed my writing/sewing/everything room. Bought new furniture, rearranged the house, built up the turtle pond in the family room, painted the family room, and took a four day camping/canoeing trip. Wandering trees and sleeping outside. And problems didn't recur. Slowly slowly I returned to writing. And, now that my body is filled with iron (hahahaha, I am Ironwoman), I have actually been able to hold myself upright in my writing chair and write for normal, long periods of time.
Writing from blank pages is easy. But rewriting what is already there is infinitely trickier and tougher. I published Red five years ago. Six? Crap. And book two was pretty much already written out. I thought. My plan was to get it out, attract attention, learn learn learn, promote and join publishing groups, release Two the following year. Two has evolved so much in everything that has occurred outside in the real world, and the process kept getting halted. It's hard to say if I did things right, if I should have waited until Two was done and publish them both. Because if I had done that, everything I took part in, everything I felt ready to learn, all the book expos and author events I participated in, the writers' group I sought out and joined, this website- all the many many things I have done and learned in the last six years would not have happened, and Two would not be as strong as it's becoming.
I am currently nearly through a scene that has been plaguing me for a really long time! Lira's one year anniversary in Home, which is also Talyn's birthday. There's a lot of mixed emotions, and it all implodes. It was important for Lira and Karr to have a huge argument. Tensions are increasing. This book isn't only about Lira. There's so many Others who are trying to deal with their own battles that conflicts have to start. The elements have remained solid, but locations kept changing, more characters became involved and needed to be written in, and then those that needed to stay and those who needed to somehow be taken away changed, so that the emphasis was placed on Lira and another. I rewrote it several times in other files. So, took the week of Christmas off and sat my butt down, and put them all together and in the book. They've been merged and edited and it is now pretty unified. It's a relief, and an accomplishment. A huge accomplishment, because now, the story picks up speed and goes into my favorite conflict. Ohh, you're absolutely going to love Book Two, I am sure of it.
May this new year bring blessings and all things good to you,
-L.
It's been a demanding year. Back problems led to learning I was dangerously anemic. Which finally explains the severe exhaustion I was battling. I'm normally a work horse, but the last year plus I could barely get off the sofa when I was home. I bought my house feeling at my peak and capable and about to enter the best phase of my life after years of struggling. And then suddenly, I can't even carry groceries into the house. Can barely walk across my house. I was embarrassed, but way more frustrated. I went through two Primary Care doctors, a spinal surgeon, and three neurologists. Still haven't a clue what's going on. My boys have been doing so much, and have made me so proud and so blessed.
But, 5 days of iron given IV. It took a month for my body to absorb it, but damnnnnn, I felt like Lira finally acknowledging that she had been sick and was not fine after all. I became unstoppable. I felt normal, and slightly stunned at how long I'd been excusing abnormal. I whipped through house projects that had been in stasis that whole time. I weeded the yard, painted my living room, and completed my writing/sewing/everything room. Bought new furniture, rearranged the house, built up the turtle pond in the family room, painted the family room, and took a four day camping/canoeing trip. Wandering trees and sleeping outside. And problems didn't recur. Slowly slowly I returned to writing. And, now that my body is filled with iron (hahahaha, I am Ironwoman), I have actually been able to hold myself upright in my writing chair and write for normal, long periods of time.
Writing from blank pages is easy. But rewriting what is already there is infinitely trickier and tougher. I published Red five years ago. Six? Crap. And book two was pretty much already written out. I thought. My plan was to get it out, attract attention, learn learn learn, promote and join publishing groups, release Two the following year. Two has evolved so much in everything that has occurred outside in the real world, and the process kept getting halted. It's hard to say if I did things right, if I should have waited until Two was done and publish them both. Because if I had done that, everything I took part in, everything I felt ready to learn, all the book expos and author events I participated in, the writers' group I sought out and joined, this website- all the many many things I have done and learned in the last six years would not have happened, and Two would not be as strong as it's becoming.
I am currently nearly through a scene that has been plaguing me for a really long time! Lira's one year anniversary in Home, which is also Talyn's birthday. There's a lot of mixed emotions, and it all implodes. It was important for Lira and Karr to have a huge argument. Tensions are increasing. This book isn't only about Lira. There's so many Others who are trying to deal with their own battles that conflicts have to start. The elements have remained solid, but locations kept changing, more characters became involved and needed to be written in, and then those that needed to stay and those who needed to somehow be taken away changed, so that the emphasis was placed on Lira and another. I rewrote it several times in other files. So, took the week of Christmas off and sat my butt down, and put them all together and in the book. They've been merged and edited and it is now pretty unified. It's a relief, and an accomplishment. A huge accomplishment, because now, the story picks up speed and goes into my favorite conflict. Ohh, you're absolutely going to love Book Two, I am sure of it.
May this new year bring blessings and all things good to you,
-L.
November 25, 2017
Nano Update
I do think it's entirely possible to write a first draft of a 50,000 word novel in a month. Apparently though, just not for me. Which isn't at all shocking, honestly. My weekday evenings are shot to crap. I knew that beforehand. Even taking the train this last month hasn't made for more writing time, though it has helped greatly in just some mind-stillness time. Desperately needed. Spending at least three hours a day in Chicago rush-hour traffic chisels away at your soul and sanity.
I've written a little over 14,000 words so far, and this is excellent. I'm obviously not going to 'win' this year, but this is 14K words more than what I had last month. I'm not at all disappointed in myself. Six chapters already! The story is branching out, and I'm writing through scenes I hadn't figured out previously. It's the bad, tedious first chapters, the story set-ups, the blank ones that have to bridge between the meaty ones I do have set. And it's the royal and political section, which I honestly hate. I'm doing my best to make it brief but profound enough.
I wrote for a few hours straight earlier today (before kicking the kids out of the living room and watching four episodes of Netflix's Alias Grace). It's been awhile since I've written like that, so it's a great day. It's also been awhile since I watched a TV show I didn't have to share, which was doubly great. Even though it turns the monsters into hovering vultures (what is this, how long is it, when is it my turn again, what is this about, is it true, how many are you watching, do you like it, is it good, who are the actors, can you go shopping, when are you going shopping, what are we doing tomorrow.......) Which is pretty much how it goes when I'm writing.
Parenthood amidst adulthood while clinging to your creative individuality is an obstacle course. Blindfolded. On a tightrope. That's been set on fire. While you're juggling porcelain china.
And hoola-hooping.
Anyway, only 35K words left to go by Thursday! Ha!
I've written a little over 14,000 words so far, and this is excellent. I'm obviously not going to 'win' this year, but this is 14K words more than what I had last month. I'm not at all disappointed in myself. Six chapters already! The story is branching out, and I'm writing through scenes I hadn't figured out previously. It's the bad, tedious first chapters, the story set-ups, the blank ones that have to bridge between the meaty ones I do have set. And it's the royal and political section, which I honestly hate. I'm doing my best to make it brief but profound enough.
I wrote for a few hours straight earlier today (before kicking the kids out of the living room and watching four episodes of Netflix's Alias Grace). It's been awhile since I've written like that, so it's a great day. It's also been awhile since I watched a TV show I didn't have to share, which was doubly great. Even though it turns the monsters into hovering vultures (what is this, how long is it, when is it my turn again, what is this about, is it true, how many are you watching, do you like it, is it good, who are the actors, can you go shopping, when are you going shopping, what are we doing tomorrow.......) Which is pretty much how it goes when I'm writing.
Parenthood amidst adulthood while clinging to your creative individuality is an obstacle course. Blindfolded. On a tightrope. That's been set on fire. While you're juggling porcelain china.
And hoola-hooping.
Anyway, only 35K words left to go by Thursday! Ha!
October 30, 2017
National Novel Writing Month
The last few years have been chaotic and demanding. Ug. It's been never-ending and then I get a moment to breathe and wonder, where did the last four years go?? So, to get back to where I need to be, I've decided that I need something concrete and challenging, slightly competitive, with trackable goals.
I am now a Nanowrimo participant! Or maybe I'm a Wrimo? I dunno. I've never liked abbreviations like this.
If you aren't familiar with this whole thing, November is the unofficial, online-based, National Novel writing month. Plenty of published books have come out of this sprint (Water for Elephants, The Night Circus, Wool, and Cinder, Scarlet, and their follow-up Cress.) It was started in 1999 by a San Franciscan writer with 21 participants, and has jumped to over 400,000 in 2015 (wikepedia, link is in 'National Novel' above).
It's honor-based, with no real prizes for reaching 50,000 words by the end of the month. But, decided to give it a try.
Unofficially, I began writing a novel around this time a few years ago. But life broke in and I was conflicted about not spending the time writing Book Two, and everything fell apart with nothing getting written. None of what I've already written can be used as a word count in this, but I think I can dish out another 50,000 to get a good first draft done.
This new story scares me a bit. I've got to stop avoiding it. I'll write more as November passes through!
I am now a Nanowrimo participant! Or maybe I'm a Wrimo? I dunno. I've never liked abbreviations like this.
If you aren't familiar with this whole thing, November is the unofficial, online-based, National Novel writing month. Plenty of published books have come out of this sprint (Water for Elephants, The Night Circus, Wool, and Cinder, Scarlet, and their follow-up Cress.) It was started in 1999 by a San Franciscan writer with 21 participants, and has jumped to over 400,000 in 2015 (wikepedia, link is in 'National Novel' above).
It's honor-based, with no real prizes for reaching 50,000 words by the end of the month. But, decided to give it a try.
Unofficially, I began writing a novel around this time a few years ago. But life broke in and I was conflicted about not spending the time writing Book Two, and everything fell apart with nothing getting written. None of what I've already written can be used as a word count in this, but I think I can dish out another 50,000 to get a good first draft done.
This new story scares me a bit. I've got to stop avoiding it. I'll write more as November passes through!
October 15, 2017
No Small Thing
How I miss this world I’ve made
I stare in longing at a page
It’s been so long since I’ve been here
What if I can't?, fills me with fear
This is my world, all my own
No small thing, to have named it Home
Each day I sit, longer and longer
And my words they flow, stronger and stronger
I stare in longing at a page
It’s been so long since I’ve been here
What if I can't?, fills me with fear
This is my world, all my own
No small thing, to have named it Home
Each day I sit, longer and longer
And my words they flow, stronger and stronger
September 30, 2017
ELLEN JACOBSON, AUTHOR INTERVIEW
Today, I’m interviewing one of my co-authors from our fantasy anthology Hero Lost: Mysteries of Death and Life, hosted from The Insecure Writers Support Group and graciously published via Dancing Lemur Press in May of this year. The theme for this year’s anthology was a lost hero, and it’s been fascinating to discover how twelve different writers approached all the many things those two words invoked.
THE SILVERINGCaestu, an ordinary fisherman, disobeyed the principles which guide his people’s way of life. Fortunately, the mark of disobedience is hidden beneath his glove. Unfortunately, others know what he has done. Now he must decide whether to stay with his people or leave to search out others like him. Welcome, Ellen Jacobson, author of The Silvering.
Hi, Ellen! What sparked your idea of a lost hero?
I woke up in the middle of the night after having a really vivid dream about a strange world where mysterious things happen to my main character, Caestu. At first, I didn’t necessarily envision Caestu as a lost hero, but as the story unfolded, it became clear that he had a tough choice to make – conform to what society expects of him or rebel against its control and oppression of others.
What was the hardest part to write?
The ending. I couldn’t find a satisfactory way to wrap things up, and I’m still not satisfied with the ending. I think I have a lot more of the story to tell and having to cap it at 5,000 words forced me to end it prematurely. Perhaps I’ll turn it into a novella or novel one day and give it a proper ending.
What is your preferred genre to write in? Why?
I started out writing a cozy mystery (which I’ve been working on for ages), but I’ve always had a ton of ideas for science fiction/fantasy stories. The Silvering was my first attempt to write in that genre and I really enjoyed it. I love the idea of not being constrained by how things are supposed to work in the real world and the freedom to imagine new worlds, cultures and peoples.
Is there a theme to your writing as a whole/What is your writing strong point?
Because I’m a novice writer, I can’t say that there is a theme or strong point. I’ve only completed one thing so far – my story in the anthology. Ask me again in a few years. Hopefully, I’ll have typed “The End” on another manuscript and can maybe identify a theme or strong point.
What is your favorite book? Why?
I can never answer questions like this. It’s way too hard to narrow things down to just one book. What I can tell you is that there are some books that I’ve re-read, which I guess makes them favorites in a way, such as anything by Octavia Butler or Iain Banks, Frank Herbert’s Dune, Margaret Atwood’s The Handmaid’s Tale, C.S. Lewis’ Narnia books, Isaac Asimov’s Foundation series. Agatha Christie and Dorothy L. Sayers’ books are also fun to re-read.
Was there something about the prompt ‘Lost Hero’ that grabbed you?
I had actually started writing my story before the anthology theme was announced, so it didn’t really grab me in that sense. I do think it’s a great theme and I’m looking forward to reading everyone’s take on it.
If your lost hero had a theme song, what would it be?
They’re not allowed to sing in Caestu’s society, so he wouldn’t have a theme song. Actually, I don’t know if they’re allowed to sing or not, but I can see that being prohibited. This may be something I explore if I turn The Silvering into a novella or novel at some point.
Thanks, Ellen!
Connect with Ellen via Facebook, her blog, or Google+.
Want to know more about Hero Lost?
Click on over to our Hero Lost homepage to get a taste of the other stories and writers.
You can then purchase via Amazon at this link.
Curious about the Insecure Writers Support group?
Check out our website, Facebook Group, and Twitter.
Please be sure to visit Dancing Lemur Press!
January 27, 2017
Counting......Counting......
It's like being a kid the day before Christmas again when my sisters and I would wake up while it was still dark and sit at the bottom of the stairs, watching the seconds tick by on my older sister's watch until it was the ok time to open the door and wake our parents.
Ah!
When I was told that I had made it into the anthology, it was followed by a quick- but don't tell anyone yet.
Ah!
Lots of Hurry up, and wait.
Wait till we show you the cover.
Ah!
Wait until we publish.
Ah! Five more months!
We collaborators were introduced by email and told, ok, collaborate! I like organizing through chaos, but am use to doing this writing/publishing thing all on my own. It's been refreshing to do this within a group, though. It's come at a really needed time. We came together fairly smoothly, and it's inspriring to hear everyone's ideas and see the different ways they have of marketing and structuring, to hear them brainstorm and see different strengths take shape. We're all from different regions- one's from Canada, another is living in Cairo, and another isn't even living on land. The rest of us are splattered throughout the US.
Our second biggest collaboration is the official Hero Lost website, which will go live around February 2nd.
Ah!
It's like Christmas again every time I check our website to see how it's going, to read more into everyone, or to make my own additions, and find all sorts of new stuff! The publisher suggested we make small pictures relevant to our stories. Creating images is something I began with Red, and I love it. It can become a whirlpool that just sucks you in.
There's some restrictions in Breath regarding setting and her perception, but the running theme is time, and her counting. I have this clock I bought at Target a couple years ago that cracks me up, but it did not survive the last stint in storage. Even though it's broken, I can't throw it away. Give me time, I'll fix it. Anyway, it worked out rather nicely for Breath.
My funky clock. 
Placed on a black background. 
Add some photo filters.
Upload to a vector program and voila!
Soon I'll be able to share the website and you'll be able to see everyone else's image representation. And, hopefully not too much later, I'll get my proof copy and can read all the other stories.
You'll have to wait until May 2nd though.
Ah!
Ah!
When I was told that I had made it into the anthology, it was followed by a quick- but don't tell anyone yet.
Ah!
Lots of Hurry up, and wait.
Wait till we show you the cover.
Ah!
Wait until we publish.
Ah! Five more months!
We collaborators were introduced by email and told, ok, collaborate! I like organizing through chaos, but am use to doing this writing/publishing thing all on my own. It's been refreshing to do this within a group, though. It's come at a really needed time. We came together fairly smoothly, and it's inspriring to hear everyone's ideas and see the different ways they have of marketing and structuring, to hear them brainstorm and see different strengths take shape. We're all from different regions- one's from Canada, another is living in Cairo, and another isn't even living on land. The rest of us are splattered throughout the US.
Our second biggest collaboration is the official Hero Lost website, which will go live around February 2nd.
Ah!
It's like Christmas again every time I check our website to see how it's going, to read more into everyone, or to make my own additions, and find all sorts of new stuff! The publisher suggested we make small pictures relevant to our stories. Creating images is something I began with Red, and I love it. It can become a whirlpool that just sucks you in.
There's some restrictions in Breath regarding setting and her perception, but the running theme is time, and her counting. I have this clock I bought at Target a couple years ago that cracks me up, but it did not survive the last stint in storage. Even though it's broken, I can't throw it away. Give me time, I'll fix it. Anyway, it worked out rather nicely for Breath.
My funky clock. Placed on a black background. Add some photo filters. Upload to a vector program and voila!
Soon I'll be able to share the website and you'll be able to see everyone else's image representation. And, hopefully not too much later, I'll get my proof copy and can read all the other stories.You'll have to wait until May 2nd though.
Ah!
January 14, 2017
Hero, Lost
I'm having some PTSD regarding my computer. I think he's been hexed. Internet battles from last spring that blew into a full war by summer's end. Lost internet access for a couple months. I won the battle, but lost at the same time. After several months of not wanting to deal with the alternative company (again), I did. Bunch of liars. It's taken half the day to load this site up and let me add my news.
Bastards.
At some point, computer got hit with a virus or something. Wouldn't turn on, would only give me a blue screen of death, essentially. I couldn't go near it. Couldn't deal with an unfavorable outcome. All the work I've put into my stories, everything I store inside my computer........The loss would be astronomical.
Before that occurred, I was reminded about an anthology contest through a Facebook group I've been involved in for several years. The very first time I saw it, I dismissed it, laughing at its impossibility. The second time I saw it, I had a week before the deadline.
Hero Lost. How in the world? A fantasy about a lost hero?
Still drawing a blank.
Until I wasn't. I wrote Breath Between Seconds that night, staying up past midnight and then getting up early Saturday to make some more changes before rushing out to my writers group meeting, where I read it aloud. I've never read anything so raw and unedited before. For the most part, I didn't remember the majority of what I wrote (as I'd just written it).
I was late to the group as I couldn't leave my house until I had it mostly complete, I was the last one to read, and went five minutes over our alloted time. The reception, however, was amazing, even being told that I have a hidden dark side (which isn't exactly hidden as I don't write happy stories). Writers are a nervous, sometimes insecure bunch. Praise means everything. It tells us we're on the right track and to keep going, and I so needed some positive feedback right then.
Then my computer froze up. It was absolute perfect timing. Luckily I had Breath saved and printed, so was able to retype it at work and send it off an hour before submissions were closed.
Phew!
And now, Breath Between Seconds is part of an anthology! I can't wait to read everyone else's take on How To Lose A Hero. The contract's been signed, and I'm currently getting to know the other authors involved. The cover will be shown to us around the end of January. Watch for a new tab here where I'll introduce you to the other authors!
We're excited!
Bastards.
At some point, computer got hit with a virus or something. Wouldn't turn on, would only give me a blue screen of death, essentially. I couldn't go near it. Couldn't deal with an unfavorable outcome. All the work I've put into my stories, everything I store inside my computer........The loss would be astronomical.
Before that occurred, I was reminded about an anthology contest through a Facebook group I've been involved in for several years. The very first time I saw it, I dismissed it, laughing at its impossibility. The second time I saw it, I had a week before the deadline.
Hero Lost. How in the world? A fantasy about a lost hero?
Still drawing a blank.
Until I wasn't. I wrote Breath Between Seconds that night, staying up past midnight and then getting up early Saturday to make some more changes before rushing out to my writers group meeting, where I read it aloud. I've never read anything so raw and unedited before. For the most part, I didn't remember the majority of what I wrote (as I'd just written it).
I was late to the group as I couldn't leave my house until I had it mostly complete, I was the last one to read, and went five minutes over our alloted time. The reception, however, was amazing, even being told that I have a hidden dark side (which isn't exactly hidden as I don't write happy stories). Writers are a nervous, sometimes insecure bunch. Praise means everything. It tells us we're on the right track and to keep going, and I so needed some positive feedback right then.
Then my computer froze up. It was absolute perfect timing. Luckily I had Breath saved and printed, so was able to retype it at work and send it off an hour before submissions were closed.
Phew!
And now, Breath Between Seconds is part of an anthology! I can't wait to read everyone else's take on How To Lose A Hero. The contract's been signed, and I'm currently getting to know the other authors involved. The cover will be shown to us around the end of January. Watch for a new tab here where I'll introduce you to the other authors!
We're excited!
