Sarah .'s Blog: now's a terrible time to forget again., page 107

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all my shoes have lyrics on them.this was playing the first...

all my shoes have lyrics on them.

this was playing the first time i wore these.

ask yelly part two

ohio wasabi <3<3

so, i’ve answered some of these questions not once, not twice, not three, but four times now.  bishop and i first sat down to record last saturday night, and about eighteen minutes in, the laptop froze up and the video we’d already taken was lost.  

so, we took a break. had a little more to drink, and we started over. part of what i love about this is answering on the spot, which made losing all those first answers really frustrating. i asked him to read the questions from the bottom up and he did, and they’re are all answered in the video, but it’s in three parts, and i’m a little wrecked.

so, how many times can i say so?

so, yesterday afternoon, i sat down with coffee and intended to do it all over.  it’ll be much better that way, and i was really nervous at first and awkward, just sitting and talking to this computer, but by the end, i felt really good about it. i had forty nine minutes of video and i closed the window with the questions in it, and went back to iphoto and the video was just gone. 

grey screen. zero seconds.

SO FRUSTRATING!!

so, (which now i’m just saying because there’s an established pattern) in the midst of already being way late, two lost videos, a ridiculously drunk video in three parts. i thought i’ll just type up my answers, but that’s not the point!

so in making the most of what has been a total cluster, i smoked a bowl and talked to bishop, and decided to share both. if you watched the first askyelly, obviously part of the fun is what’s in your cup, but i didn’t and don’t want to be unfair, and not give each question the attention or answer it deserves. 

so, if you want to watch the videos and have a good laugh at me, you can find them:

here, part one: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-3DlhgmKXsxQ0F2TG9XV2c5UG8/view?usp=sharing

part two: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-3DlhgmKXsxcmJMVi1kcEpZa0U/view?usp=sharing

part three: https://drive.google.com/file/d/0B-3DlhgmKXsxOEM4UHdwbGc1TnM/view?usp=sharing

and/or, i’ve answered them here.

thank you guys so much. i laughed a lot and minus the technical bullshit, had a really great time doing this.  i love doing this! 

four best question winners will be listed in the next post.

<3<3

do you outline before you write or do you start and see where it goes?

i definitely do outline. i kind of swear by outlines, actually. sometimes, i definitely just start writing, if i feel it, and of course i write ideas down as they hit me, but before i start writing anything of length, i outline. i usually outline chapters too, like there’s the big outline and then each chapter has an outline. now that i think about it, i’ve even outlined a flash fic. it helps me not forget things, or the order of things, like who knows what and when is important, and it also helps with seeing what things are necessary and what things are extra. almost like a first draft. it kind of is a first draft.

if you could give Bliss one gift, what would it be?

a puppy. because puppies. when i answered this the first time, bishop asked what kind of puppy, and really, i would just go to a local shelter and get her one that most needed a home. not something tiny, but not something huge. but really, a puppy.

if Bliss were to make dinner for dusty, what would she cook?

pancakes. because breakfast for dinner. because fucking pancakes!!

Dusty has changed me. I’m not sure i will ever recover from what happened in that yard. my questions are, how hard was it for you to write that, and when Dusty was being pushed into the car, was he struggling to get to bliss because he changed his mind? in my heart i believe he just couldn’t take seeing her being carried away from him for the last time. i would like to know what was really going through his mind.

i didn’t write that part, but no, he’s not struggling because he changed his mind. if you’re asking me, which you are, i would say, am saying, that just because something is the right or best thing to do, that doesn’t mean doing it isn’t scary or hurtful. getting something cut off you or out of you, even if it’s for your health or for the health of someone you love, doesn’t mean it’s a walk in the park. so to me, he’s overwhelmed. he’s doing this, but just because it’s time to let go doesn’t mean it’s painless to.

your addiction?

coffee.

no but really.

coffee.

where did Dusty go the last time he went away at the very end?

to get help.

to grow and let grow.

what would you say dusty’s biggest regret was?

this is a really good question because it’s a really hard question to answer. it’s really close to my heart, and i kept feeling differently and not sure how to say what i felt. my first thought was sleeping with other people. that was during the first and second round of questions. but that’s the easy answer. on the third time i answered this, just now, after carrying it longer, it felt more honest to say he more regrets saying yeah on his seventeenth birthday, and like, getting into coke. and also what happened directly before that with Valarie. i feel like, to say he regrets going to the party isn’t true, but things that happened there, yeah.

which scene in delinquents was hardest and most emotional for you to write?

in the heart chapter, the last scene where Bliss goes to meet him at the dock, and she gets out of the car and he’s looking at her, and feeling that the way it feels to her heart. i cried my eyes out a little bit. i had to push the laptop away for a minute because it’s that open for love, and it was that like, culminating, for me. that moment where he sees her and then when they’re in the backseat, that’s the top to bottom of all of this. she’s love to him. that’s heaven to him, and in the midst of everything, he just intensely and heedlessly and unflinchingly adores her.

yeah. that moment.

On a scale of 1-10, how much does Harry’s man bun inspire you?

ELEVEN

HUNDRED

ELEVEN HUNDRED THOUSAND OKAY

“If Bliss ever got a tattoo, what would it say / be like?”

Bliss would never get a tattoo.

Bishop was insistent during questioning that that’s an unacceptable answer on my part.

while i maintain that Bliss would never get a tattoo, if she did, it would probably be a butterfly.

but i mean, you know.

Bliss would never get a tattoo.

she won’t even pierce her bellybutton. come on.

please tell us what you think is most often misunderstood about dusty as a person.

this is another of the questions i’ve answered a few times, and i feel like each time i’m asked i think longer and harder (twLilys) about it. but basically, i think what’s most often misunderstood about Dusty as a person is that he’s a bad guy. he’s not. he’s a kid. it’s really hard for me to bite my tongue when i see people calling him names. he’s a seventeen year old kid that’s seriously and sincerely lost. stop calling him an asshole. we all do things. back up.

fuck, marry, kill: Ben, Peter, Dusty

the first time we read this, Bishop answered before i did - which was good because it cracked me up, but also because it made me feel better about my very same answer.

obviously, i’d marry Petey.

(ps, i love that you said Peter.)

and because i could never kill Dusty, you see how the rest of this answer goes.

close your eyes, touch your finger to your nose, and count backwards from twelve. #fieldsobrietytest #whatsinthatcuriousgeorgecup

this was better the very first go ‘round.

and then when i did it just now, in the third attempt, i actually had a hello kitty mug and it was full of coffee, and i touched my nose just fine, love.

how do you think the story would be different if bliss was the one struggling with drug addiction in the relationship?

this is another question that i’ve answered a few times now (i know i keep saying this, but it feels important and honest to note which ones i have). originally, i said Bliss does struggle with a drug addiction. Dusty is her drug. their secret, that rush, it’s so precious beyond compare to her. like literally nothing can do what he does to her. Bishop insisted this was not a legit answer, so i continued to say i think i said it would be the same, but just inverted, because i feel like both of them are at their best, like, at their most selfless, when the other is at his or her weakest. that’s where they’re both better for the other.

i do still feel that’s true, but then i answered just now on my third attempt and felt like, it would be different because, just physically, Dusty is stronger than Bliss. when she tries to physically stop him from using, like by flushing his stash, etc, it doesn’t really work. but if the addiction was the other way around, like, it’s not a mystery. Dusty says at one point in the story that if she ever tried it, he’d find the person she got it from and do some van damme-age.

so actually, it wouldn’t be the same/inverted, because trouble wouldn’t let her do that to herself. and really, she’d be found out before then anyway, i think.

favorite superhero?

Batman!!

what will you miss most about dusty?

i don’t really have to miss Dusty, but there are things about Dusty as a project that i already miss. i mentioned this in every video, but like, when we were publishing Dusty as a fic, not so much for the first half of the story or so, but by the last half, it was so cool the way everyone would get together and get excited about updates. like, the way Dusty Lovers first started, and seeing what time it was in different parts of the world because people were up and waiting for a chapter to post, and then after that, like skyping with readers. posting teasers and pictures and stuff on tumblr, like just everything that comes with sharing in an extended project publicly like that. like episodically. i loved that. i miss that.

in i believe, the first video we recorded, Bishop asked if i would ever consider doing something like that again, like posting something episodically that way, and of course. yes. very much.

big loud yes.

What would be the most played songs on Dusty & Bliss’s iPods?

i feel like that changes for them as much as it does for anyone. so, let’s go with most played songs this week -

Dusty: After Midnight by Blink 182

Bliss: something by Lorde

Tell me something, what would have happened if bliss would have said yes sooner?

it depends on how much sooner.

to answer generally, a lot less would have happened, i think. i mean, no one has any way of knowing that because that’s now how it happened, but it really depends on when, like which time when he asked her?

even if you go all the way back to the first time, it’s already her fifteenth birthday. he’s already on coke. it’s not like things would have been perfect by any means, but definitely different.

if dusty could read the heart chapter, how do you think he’d feel about it?

Dusty has read the heart chapter. and every incarnation of the heart chapter. and everything that it was before it was the heart chapter, and everything before it and after it. this question made me cry the third time i had to answer it just now, and thinking about it now i feel that way again. because he loves it. of course he loves it. he loves all of it. it’s his life.

say the word moist five times if Larry is real.

i hope you know, i’ve said this atrocious word fifteen times over the course of the last few days.

what is one thing you think becka regrets saying/doing?

nothing. i’ve thought about this multiple times now too, but i maintain, nothing.

maybe trusting Bliss as far as she did.

but really, nothing.

sexiest memory of the story for you?

when he’s holding her by her arm and smells the bend of her elbow, in what’s now chapter forty. my love for that moment knows no bounds.

what are some hints toward the next project you’ll be working on?

prayer.

that’s kind of the only hint i want to give right now.

i have a title and some of the people have names. i know some things, and it’s not all i think about lately, but it’s a lot of what i think about lately. i’ve been carrying the idea for over a year now, and when i let myself get into it my chest gets really tight feeling. you know. in the good way.

if you could make up a new colour what would you call it and what would it look like?

i went off on a total tangent about this in one of the videos, because i thought how crazy. i’d never heard anyone else talk about this, and never really, i don’t think, told anyone about it. when i was in fourth or fifth grade, we had to write journal entries every day in English class, and one day the prompt was if you had three wishes what would they be. my first two were kind of sad, but for my third wish, i wanted the world to have a new colour. i didn’t describe it or name it, but i remember thinking that would be really cool.

i don’t remember which video this answer made it onto, so if you’ve watched this and i’m repeating myself, i apologize. but, if i could make up a new colour, i would call it dulcet. and my first, like, knee jerk answer to what does it look like was, red. but that’s describing this new colour with another colour, and that doesn’t really work, does it? so, think about how it feels to stand under a hot shower, like the way your heart sounds there when your eyes are closed. like that hot, really deep, surrounded rhythm.

you know.

like your soul.

can you tell us about a scene you had to cut but wish you could have kept?

i have kept this answer the same every time.

i wish we hadn’t cut apple butter.

if you’ve read the fic, you know what i’m talking about.

i miss that a lot and it hurts that it’s gone.

i also wish we’d have kept Becka calling Petey, Peter, in the scene where Dusty doesn’t show up to pick her up from school and she’s like, calling his best friend out on it.

as far as whole scenes go, there’s a lot of physical intimacy that was cut from the fic that i wish we’d have kept. at the doc. in a classroom. in his driver’s seat.

there’s also a scene in the fic that’s a half-chapter from Dusty’s point of view. it was my idea to cut that from delinquents, and i stand by that decision, but it hurts not to have it there. it works better, narratively, that it’s not there, but that was a chapter sort of revolving around a song that i’d felt from pretty close to the very beginning of the project. i wish there was a smooth way to keep it, but there’s just not.

how does dusty feel about comomn core?

that shit’s stupid.

everybody knows that.

what’s on Bliss’ playlist at the end?

i’m not sure which you’re referring to, so -

at the very end, in the very last scene in the car: Dust and Bones by Night Terrors of 1927.

what’s playing in the last chapter when she’s making a playlist: Old Pine by Ben Howard

if you could change and rewrite any scene, what would it be?

i spent the last almost year of my life doing exactly that!

however, for the sake of the question, one example that i thought of would be adding scenes that aren’t there. like, when Oliver gets Bliss tickets to a show on her birthday. the chapter is in Dusty’s point of view, so that night, for her, isn’t shown. i think it would be cool to write that. i don’t particularly want to write it, but reading it would be cool.

could bliss be a good mom at some point in her life?

i don’t want to be negative. so, let’s just say anything is possible.

describe ben and dusty’s friendship in three words

my initial reaction to this was solid, and tight - very seriously! but then i started laughing, and Bishop started laughing, and when i was like alight, next question, he told me i’d only said two words. to which i replied, fuck.

i am sticking with these three words.

it’s a solid-tight fucking friendship.

what are you writing next?

prays.

if petey was going to #askyelly a question, what would he want to know?

where you at with those forties?

tell me something we don’t know about any character

i originally answered that Ally likes to kiss girls, but i feel like i’ve said that before somewhere else. i think.

so that being said, Charlotte, who is Katie in the published version of the story, one of The Sluts, was a virgin the first time she slept with Dusty. she had and has a hard crush on him.

i love Charlotte.

who i guess is Katie. my bad.

but i love her and i would love to write that.

maybe i’ll write that.

#thingsthatmakeyousigh

what is something bliss and dusty would never do? not as a couple, but as individuals? initially, i said something silly. like, Dusty would never learn to knit, or something, but hey. you never know.

seriously though, much like Bliss would never touch Smitty or Petey, Dusty would never touch Kelly, or Daisy, or any of Bliss’ friends.

what happens to Dusty and Bliss after Delinquents? And Becka, too. And the boys. And the Sluts, lol.

Becka joins the peace corps and marries a girl in Ecuador.

Petey wins a pulitzer for an autobiography of his young adult life.

Ben marries Valarie. they grow medical in Colarado and live happily every after with two Westies.

Kelly marries Oliver, and names their first born son Alexander.

Mixie becomes the teacher Casper wanted to be, and an advocate for wayward youth, a voice for the teenage voiceless.

Katie reads a lot of bad romance.

and Bliss and Dusty, when the time is right, meet again.

and love each other for the rest of their lives.

is there any character trait of yourself or personality in any of the characters? if so, who and what?

yes, i feel like i am a very stubborn, very self-centric person, and like Dusty is that as well.

what are the next three concerts you would like to see?

the 1975

damien rice

prince.

that’s a dream line up, and not together probably, but yeah.

it’s #dustyday!!<3

it’s #dustyday!!

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KRGs forever.love.

KRGs forever.

love.

starting…now!!it’s that time :-) hit my inbox...

starting…

now!!

it’s that time :-) hit my inbox here, or tweet/facebook me questions about absolutely anything with #askyelly anytime between now and 10/22, and on 10/23 i’ll answer live. @yellow_bro and i will choose four of the best questions for personalized surprises a la delinquents.

squeep squeep!!

that’s me!!ahhhhhhhhhhh, so excited!! if you’re in...

that’s me!!

ahhhhhhhhhhh, so excited!! 

if you’re in kc, come out come out!!

trouble is now in my truelove’s hands.and i...

trouble is now in my truelove’s hands.

and i couldn’t be happier.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

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