Sebastian Chase's Blog
February 11, 2015
Poems From a Broken Heart
Young love can be exhilarating, but it can also be earth-shattering. Emotions of the heart are incredibly powerful artistic motivators. After an exceptionally difficult break up many years ago (when I was too young to know that I was too young for a serious relationship), I crawled to my pen and paper and jotted these poems/lyrics down.
Shattered Illusions 1990©SebastianChase
Shattered illusions,
Dreams go so fast,
Sleeps tender mercies,
Vanish in the past,
Sanity eludes,
Visions twist through,
Thoughts intrude,
Thoughts of you.
Don't mean to hurt,
Don't mean to cry,
I didn't want,
To say good bye.
Tremors shake me so,
Weakness reeks,
Clutters my soul,
The words we speak,
They run me cold,
They run so deep,
Dreams go so fast,
Vanish in the past.
Don't mean to hurt,
Don't mean to cry,
I didn't want,
To say goodbye.
My Soul 1990©SebastianChase
Fragile and frail, so lonely and pale.
Lost and alone, feeling it failed.
It's so bitter and full of rage,
Like all its life locked in a cage.
Maybe it's all in my head.
If only I was dead.
And this is my soul,
Quickly growing old,
Suddenly so very cold,
This is my soul.
Weak in its will, can't get its fill,
And it will love you 'til,
It doesn't get what it wants.
Feels its heart taunted,
by God or Satan or whomever.
Never seeing any other endeavor.
And that is my soul,
Quickly growing old,
Suddenly so very cold,
That is my soul.
Lost and confused, like it'd been used.
Torn and tattered and totally abused.
Searching and seeking some sort of meaning,
But finding love constantly retreating.
It's fragile and frail, lonely and pale.
Lost and alone, feeling it failed.
And this is my soul,
Quickly growing old,
Suddenly so very cold,
This is my soul.
Demon's Dream 1990©SebastianChase
In the coldest nights without you here,
I toss and turn and lie in fear,
of no forgiveness for hurting you,
I've done what I've done,
Now I know what I do.
And you can hear me at night scream,
Shattered and torn in my demon's dream.
An angel of death sits and laughs at me,
'Cause with what I've done he holds the key,
To freedom or Hell, it all lies with you,
I need your love and forgiveness too.
And you can hear me at night scream,
Shattered and torn in my demon's dream.
Haunted by the love that she brought,
God have mercy and tell me what have I wrought,
Upon my mind and within my heart now cold,
To Satan I feel as if I've sold my soul.
And you can hear me at night scream,
Shattered and torn in my demon's dream.
Lost 1990©SebastianChase
Prelude: Lost somewhere, between here and nowhere. It's so near...is it there? Does it care?
I found a little boy in my soul last night.
Little man always trying to be so right.
And I found an Angel in my heart asleep,
So I woke him up to help me hate and weep.
But he just looked at me and smiled so divine,
Said, "Man, why don't you rid yourself of this bind?"
I shut my eyes and ears to his word.
He told me something that I've already heard,
And it was nothing that I wanted to hear.
I prefer living in Hell and in my fear.
Now I found a boy crying in me last night,
And I said, "What's wrong...is something not right?"
He looked at me with sadness; crying inside.
Deep within me I knew that something had died.
I raised that Angel again for assistance.
He said, "Son, why don't you stop this resistance?
Pull out from within what brought you existence,
And let love be your total subsistence."
Bowed my head in shame; released my misery.
I saw my soul and what is truly in me.
Shattered Illusions 1990©SebastianChase
Shattered illusions,
Dreams go so fast,
Sleeps tender mercies,
Vanish in the past,
Sanity eludes,
Visions twist through,
Thoughts intrude,
Thoughts of you.
Don't mean to hurt,
Don't mean to cry,
I didn't want,
To say good bye.
Tremors shake me so,
Weakness reeks,
Clutters my soul,
The words we speak,
They run me cold,
They run so deep,
Dreams go so fast,
Vanish in the past.
Don't mean to hurt,
Don't mean to cry,
I didn't want,
To say goodbye.
My Soul 1990©SebastianChase
Fragile and frail, so lonely and pale.
Lost and alone, feeling it failed.
It's so bitter and full of rage,
Like all its life locked in a cage.
Maybe it's all in my head.
If only I was dead.
And this is my soul,
Quickly growing old,
Suddenly so very cold,
This is my soul.
Weak in its will, can't get its fill,
And it will love you 'til,
It doesn't get what it wants.
Feels its heart taunted,
by God or Satan or whomever.
Never seeing any other endeavor.
And that is my soul,
Quickly growing old,
Suddenly so very cold,
That is my soul.
Lost and confused, like it'd been used.
Torn and tattered and totally abused.
Searching and seeking some sort of meaning,
But finding love constantly retreating.
It's fragile and frail, lonely and pale.
Lost and alone, feeling it failed.
And this is my soul,
Quickly growing old,
Suddenly so very cold,
This is my soul.
Demon's Dream 1990©SebastianChase
In the coldest nights without you here,
I toss and turn and lie in fear,
of no forgiveness for hurting you,
I've done what I've done,
Now I know what I do.
And you can hear me at night scream,
Shattered and torn in my demon's dream.
An angel of death sits and laughs at me,
'Cause with what I've done he holds the key,
To freedom or Hell, it all lies with you,
I need your love and forgiveness too.
And you can hear me at night scream,
Shattered and torn in my demon's dream.
Haunted by the love that she brought,
God have mercy and tell me what have I wrought,
Upon my mind and within my heart now cold,
To Satan I feel as if I've sold my soul.
And you can hear me at night scream,
Shattered and torn in my demon's dream.
Lost 1990©SebastianChase
Prelude: Lost somewhere, between here and nowhere. It's so near...is it there? Does it care?
I found a little boy in my soul last night.
Little man always trying to be so right.
And I found an Angel in my heart asleep,
So I woke him up to help me hate and weep.
But he just looked at me and smiled so divine,
Said, "Man, why don't you rid yourself of this bind?"
I shut my eyes and ears to his word.
He told me something that I've already heard,
And it was nothing that I wanted to hear.
I prefer living in Hell and in my fear.
Now I found a boy crying in me last night,
And I said, "What's wrong...is something not right?"
He looked at me with sadness; crying inside.
Deep within me I knew that something had died.
I raised that Angel again for assistance.
He said, "Son, why don't you stop this resistance?
Pull out from within what brought you existence,
And let love be your total subsistence."
Bowed my head in shame; released my misery.
I saw my soul and what is truly in me.
January 27, 2014
Recent Interview
Interview with Sebastian Chase as published on Smashwords.com
What's the story behind your latest book?
My curious nature led to the writing of Venom of the Gods. I had watched several vampire movies, read many modern vampire novels, and then went back to reread Bram Stoker's Dracula, and nowhere was there a believable origination story for these popular creatures. Where did they come from? How did they get their powers? What do they want? While I admire Mr. Stoker's story, I also wanted to get rid of (or give reason for) some of the vampire weaknesses that I thought a little silly. With their speed, strength, and ability to fly, I see vampires more as the original superheros than as garlic and wood stake fearing creatures of the night. Having lived among humans, I also envisioned them with life dramas and dilemmas of their own, which gives them a human aspect people can better identify with. Even gods worry about those they love.
What motivated you to become an indie author?
I have always written for fun. I have handwritten 20,000 word short stories from the bunk of a Navy frigate (sadly, many of those are lost in time), to thousands of poems and song lyrics. With the explosion in eBooks, it seemed a natural extension to start putting my work online for others to enjoy. Another benefit, when my water heater busts in the middle of the night, I won't lose years worth of work when the box containing them gets soaked and the ink runs (really happened).
How has Smashwords contributed to your success?
Smashwords has absolutely contributed to my success. Reviews for Venom are starting to come in from an assortment of websites, and so far they've all been good. Without Smashwords, it would have been very difficult getting my work on such a variety of sites, and to do so would have taken away from my writing time. I enjoy the writing aspect of writing much more than the business management/marketing aspect of it.
What is the greatest joy of writing for you?
Bringing new worlds to life, and hopefully leaving readers with thought-provoking positive impressions.
What do your fans mean to you?
Everything. I enjoy football (son was a quarterback), and I liken writing to a football team. As the writer, I am the quarterback, and the fans are my team. Without a good team, quarterbacks don't often find success. When I see a positive review, it's like a touchdown. I smile from ear to ear and wish I could go up to that teammate and give him or her a high five. Thank you, fans.
What are you working on next?
Fallen Roses. A psychological thriller based in small-town Georgia, where a convicted serial killer returns from the dead when his spirit inhabits the body of the husband of the serial killer's daughter. I have one more project lined up after Fallen Roses, and then I will begin a Venom Part II.
Who are your favorite authors?
Dean Koontz, Stephen King, Michael Crichton, Ray Bradbury, Niven & Pournelle (highly recommend Lucifer's Hammer), Ernest Hemingway, and many more. I enjoy stories with a strong human element, where normal people are put in abnormal situations.
What inspires you to get out of bed each day?
Honest answer: dogs. My Lab and Newfoundland have built-in clocks; they know when it's breakfast time! Of course family and the excitement of whatever project I'm working on helps me out, too. I am not a huge fan of sleep. Every second I'm asleep is one less second I'm alive (I actually have an outline for a novel I want to do in the future entitled Sleep).
When you're not writing, how do you spend your time?
I spend my time doing what everybody does in Colorado (no, not getting high!), exploring the mountains. I have a very capable off-road vehicle that allows me the freedom to find some of the most beautiful hidden treasures in the world like a shimmering-blue snow-fed lake nestled among the peaks at 13,000 feet surrounded by sipping Elk. I also enjoy travel and have visited some incredible destinations such as Tehran and Bandar Abbas in Iran, Dubai, Ukraine, Western Europe, and the majority of the great states in our own country. At home, I read a lot, play sports with my sons (or dogs), or just love curling up with a good movie.
Do you remember the first story you ever wrote?
I was about ten or eleven when I wrote The Silly-Agers. It was about a group of teenagers who bullied younger kids, but ultimately the younger children were victorious.
What is your writing process?
Getting the idea for a story is first. Usually it starts with a single concept, and then I develop plot twists that would make it more interesting. I write that out and then conduct initial research to familiarize myself with the subject, places, or unusual characteristics characters may have (for instance, Fallen Roses has an autistic main character). Once I'm deeply immersed in the world I want to create, I start writing, and it usually goes fast. I want to pull the story out of the nether without losing the rhythm. Sometimes, it really feels like channeling. Once that's done, comes the laborious process of rereading, refining, editing, and then doing it again. By the time a story is done, I have often read it at least ten times.
What unusual things about Venom of the Gods would readers be interested in?
Bram Stoker created a genre with his novel, and to honor that, I attempted to create a prologue in his style, right down to his oft used word laconically. After the prologue, I wanted to gently pull the reader into modern times when the main character, Michael, regains his memory.
The joining of aliens, gods/demons, and vampires into one was not as difficult as I thought it would be. It's almost like they were meant to be one. Maybe they are?
Freeze-dried blood really does exist.
I consider Venom more of a science fiction thriller than a horror, but whenever vampires are mentioned, the horror genre is automatically assumed.
Published 2014-01-19.
What's the story behind your latest book?
My curious nature led to the writing of Venom of the Gods. I had watched several vampire movies, read many modern vampire novels, and then went back to reread Bram Stoker's Dracula, and nowhere was there a believable origination story for these popular creatures. Where did they come from? How did they get their powers? What do they want? While I admire Mr. Stoker's story, I also wanted to get rid of (or give reason for) some of the vampire weaknesses that I thought a little silly. With their speed, strength, and ability to fly, I see vampires more as the original superheros than as garlic and wood stake fearing creatures of the night. Having lived among humans, I also envisioned them with life dramas and dilemmas of their own, which gives them a human aspect people can better identify with. Even gods worry about those they love.
What motivated you to become an indie author?
I have always written for fun. I have handwritten 20,000 word short stories from the bunk of a Navy frigate (sadly, many of those are lost in time), to thousands of poems and song lyrics. With the explosion in eBooks, it seemed a natural extension to start putting my work online for others to enjoy. Another benefit, when my water heater busts in the middle of the night, I won't lose years worth of work when the box containing them gets soaked and the ink runs (really happened).
How has Smashwords contributed to your success?
Smashwords has absolutely contributed to my success. Reviews for Venom are starting to come in from an assortment of websites, and so far they've all been good. Without Smashwords, it would have been very difficult getting my work on such a variety of sites, and to do so would have taken away from my writing time. I enjoy the writing aspect of writing much more than the business management/marketing aspect of it.
What is the greatest joy of writing for you?
Bringing new worlds to life, and hopefully leaving readers with thought-provoking positive impressions.
What do your fans mean to you?
Everything. I enjoy football (son was a quarterback), and I liken writing to a football team. As the writer, I am the quarterback, and the fans are my team. Without a good team, quarterbacks don't often find success. When I see a positive review, it's like a touchdown. I smile from ear to ear and wish I could go up to that teammate and give him or her a high five. Thank you, fans.
What are you working on next?
Fallen Roses. A psychological thriller based in small-town Georgia, where a convicted serial killer returns from the dead when his spirit inhabits the body of the husband of the serial killer's daughter. I have one more project lined up after Fallen Roses, and then I will begin a Venom Part II.
Who are your favorite authors?
Dean Koontz, Stephen King, Michael Crichton, Ray Bradbury, Niven & Pournelle (highly recommend Lucifer's Hammer), Ernest Hemingway, and many more. I enjoy stories with a strong human element, where normal people are put in abnormal situations.
What inspires you to get out of bed each day?
Honest answer: dogs. My Lab and Newfoundland have built-in clocks; they know when it's breakfast time! Of course family and the excitement of whatever project I'm working on helps me out, too. I am not a huge fan of sleep. Every second I'm asleep is one less second I'm alive (I actually have an outline for a novel I want to do in the future entitled Sleep).
When you're not writing, how do you spend your time?
I spend my time doing what everybody does in Colorado (no, not getting high!), exploring the mountains. I have a very capable off-road vehicle that allows me the freedom to find some of the most beautiful hidden treasures in the world like a shimmering-blue snow-fed lake nestled among the peaks at 13,000 feet surrounded by sipping Elk. I also enjoy travel and have visited some incredible destinations such as Tehran and Bandar Abbas in Iran, Dubai, Ukraine, Western Europe, and the majority of the great states in our own country. At home, I read a lot, play sports with my sons (or dogs), or just love curling up with a good movie.
Do you remember the first story you ever wrote?
I was about ten or eleven when I wrote The Silly-Agers. It was about a group of teenagers who bullied younger kids, but ultimately the younger children were victorious.
What is your writing process?
Getting the idea for a story is first. Usually it starts with a single concept, and then I develop plot twists that would make it more interesting. I write that out and then conduct initial research to familiarize myself with the subject, places, or unusual characteristics characters may have (for instance, Fallen Roses has an autistic main character). Once I'm deeply immersed in the world I want to create, I start writing, and it usually goes fast. I want to pull the story out of the nether without losing the rhythm. Sometimes, it really feels like channeling. Once that's done, comes the laborious process of rereading, refining, editing, and then doing it again. By the time a story is done, I have often read it at least ten times.
What unusual things about Venom of the Gods would readers be interested in?
Bram Stoker created a genre with his novel, and to honor that, I attempted to create a prologue in his style, right down to his oft used word laconically. After the prologue, I wanted to gently pull the reader into modern times when the main character, Michael, regains his memory.
The joining of aliens, gods/demons, and vampires into one was not as difficult as I thought it would be. It's almost like they were meant to be one. Maybe they are?
Freeze-dried blood really does exist.
I consider Venom more of a science fiction thriller than a horror, but whenever vampires are mentioned, the horror genre is automatically assumed.
Published 2014-01-19.
January 26, 2014
Do Ghosts Eat?
On the surface, it may sound like a silly question, but I enjoy quantum physics and with the growing theory that we live in a reality filled with countless hidden dimensions, I think it's a viable question. Do ghosts eat?
If we believe ghosts/spirits are alive, then they will have to be sustained by some sort of intake of energy. Everything alive requires energy in the form of what we call food, and in most cases that food has to come from another energy-based being (we don't eat rocks after all).
In all of the hauntings I've studied, I have never heard of a ghost raiding the fridge in the middle of the night (they're too busy tickling our toes as we sleep). Of course they wouldn't raid our fridge; we can't eat food from another dimension, so they shouldn't be able to eat ours. Perhaps, like trees, they feed off some eternal light? Possible, but trees still need water and nutrients from dirt. If an ethereal body moves, which expends considerable energy, it seems more than light would be required; they would need something organic to sustain them.
With countless dimensions intertwined around us, the veil between them must be very thin. That might be why we see ghosts on occasion. There are areas where this veil is like a shear curtain, and we can see the shadows moving on the other side.
A big fallacy might be that we think our dimension is somehow different; more solid than others. Science has shown us for a long time that we, and everything around us, are mostly empty space. Particles regularly zoom through the entire planet without hitting even an atom or its components. Without electromagnetic forces to repel things from touching, we too might drift right through the earth (except without the forces, we and the earth wouldn't exist).
This argues that we are ghosts, too.
Other dimensions might seem ghostly because we see them on occasion through a thin veil, but likewise, you might be a shadow to some person who thinks he or she is solid in another dimension. They might be walking into the room right now, see your wispy outlines sitting there reading this, and shivers go down their spine as they run to call Ghostbusters. Congratulations, you've performed your first haunting.
To the inhabitants of other dimensions, they see their world just as solid as we see ours. They eat food, just as we do. They see ghosts, just as many claim do here. They are ghosts to us, just as we are to them. If we are ghosts, then ghosts must eat. Time to go tickle some toes.
If we believe ghosts/spirits are alive, then they will have to be sustained by some sort of intake of energy. Everything alive requires energy in the form of what we call food, and in most cases that food has to come from another energy-based being (we don't eat rocks after all).
In all of the hauntings I've studied, I have never heard of a ghost raiding the fridge in the middle of the night (they're too busy tickling our toes as we sleep). Of course they wouldn't raid our fridge; we can't eat food from another dimension, so they shouldn't be able to eat ours. Perhaps, like trees, they feed off some eternal light? Possible, but trees still need water and nutrients from dirt. If an ethereal body moves, which expends considerable energy, it seems more than light would be required; they would need something organic to sustain them.
With countless dimensions intertwined around us, the veil between them must be very thin. That might be why we see ghosts on occasion. There are areas where this veil is like a shear curtain, and we can see the shadows moving on the other side.
A big fallacy might be that we think our dimension is somehow different; more solid than others. Science has shown us for a long time that we, and everything around us, are mostly empty space. Particles regularly zoom through the entire planet without hitting even an atom or its components. Without electromagnetic forces to repel things from touching, we too might drift right through the earth (except without the forces, we and the earth wouldn't exist).
This argues that we are ghosts, too.
Other dimensions might seem ghostly because we see them on occasion through a thin veil, but likewise, you might be a shadow to some person who thinks he or she is solid in another dimension. They might be walking into the room right now, see your wispy outlines sitting there reading this, and shivers go down their spine as they run to call Ghostbusters. Congratulations, you've performed your first haunting.
To the inhabitants of other dimensions, they see their world just as solid as we see ours. They eat food, just as we do. They see ghosts, just as many claim do here. They are ghosts to us, just as we are to them. If we are ghosts, then ghosts must eat. Time to go tickle some toes.
January 23, 2014
Reviews
I've had some great reviews coming in for Venom of the Gods. Each review is humbling, motivating, and precious. Thank you so much to those fans who took the time to write them.
From Barnes & Noble: "Great - Action excitement and a working plot. A huge twist on the vampire/superhero shades of will smith in hitchcock [sic: Hancock?]. Also the humor was modern and edgy. Great blend of religion, politics,family drama, romance and incredible plot twist. Not predictable at all. Can't wait to read more from this author."
From Amazon: "Great adventure and twist on the vampire lore - Very good book. I liked the characters and the twist on the vampire lore I won't get into specifics since I hate when people put spoilers in their reviews. I would definitely recommend this to others."
And from Smashwords, a simple review that goes straight to the heart of the most important thing about a book: "I enjoyed reading this story." At the end of the day, that is what makes a book good.
To these fans and others, thank you.
On a side note, I have read some terrible books that had a lot of fantastic reviews. How this could be is a mystery, but I want to promise my readers that all of my reviews are unsolicited. I even ask my initial test subjects (family, friends, students of a high school theater department) to not leave reviews since they know me (my mesmerizing charm, exceedingly good looks, and admirable humble nature will obviously bias their opinions in a positive manner). To me, posting biased positive reviews rips off the reader of both time and money—not a good way to manage a career.
Venom of the Gods
From Barnes & Noble: "Great - Action excitement and a working plot. A huge twist on the vampire/superhero shades of will smith in hitchcock [sic: Hancock?]. Also the humor was modern and edgy. Great blend of religion, politics,family drama, romance and incredible plot twist. Not predictable at all. Can't wait to read more from this author."
From Amazon: "Great adventure and twist on the vampire lore - Very good book. I liked the characters and the twist on the vampire lore I won't get into specifics since I hate when people put spoilers in their reviews. I would definitely recommend this to others."
And from Smashwords, a simple review that goes straight to the heart of the most important thing about a book: "I enjoyed reading this story." At the end of the day, that is what makes a book good.
To these fans and others, thank you.
On a side note, I have read some terrible books that had a lot of fantastic reviews. How this could be is a mystery, but I want to promise my readers that all of my reviews are unsolicited. I even ask my initial test subjects (family, friends, students of a high school theater department) to not leave reviews since they know me (my mesmerizing charm, exceedingly good looks, and admirable humble nature will obviously bias their opinions in a positive manner). To me, posting biased positive reviews rips off the reader of both time and money—not a good way to manage a career.
Venom of the Gods
