Stephanie Dolce's Blog, page 19
January 19, 2020
The Diary Of A Social Gal Part 4
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I enjoyed my years as a teacher. When people ask me what was my favorite part, I always without hesitation answer, the kids. The kids were the best part of the job. They taught me a lot about life.
1- Preschool children are matter-of-fact and blunt with the truth. Truthful and direct feedback also helps us build resilience, instead of always sugar-coating the truth and only telling someone what they want to hear.
2- All children come from different backgrounds, but when you see them skip or run through the playground and run to hug you, they make it clear that they are there to have fun in a safe environment and that they feel secure.
3- Kids love to learn without even knowing that they are learning. To them, it makes the world exciting and new. Kids have the knack of wanting to ask the questions, “Why?” “How?” “When?” all day long. They have curious minds and this love of learning is what molds them into the adults they will become.
Working with kids I have developed patience, got much more comfortable in my own skin no matter what someone else thinks. I have learned that being truthful and kind are so very important in this world and when all else fails, always know that a cookie can make everything feel better.
Adults have to remember that they are the example they set for their kids and for kids in general. We are each child’s biggest influence, and if we are patient, kind, good-tempered, and happy, then they will be too.
It’s that dreaded time: Valentine’s Day
Everybody has a right to be happy.
That is not the issue. The issue at hand is how we go about trying to find that true happiness and if that’s all we are doing, then my question is: Why do we believe that the only way to be truly happy is if we are in a relationship?
First off, let’s talk about what constitutes a relationship, because I feel in today’s world with social media, dating sites, and all that jazz, people are forgetting the clear definition of what a relationship is. In the dictionary a relationship is defined as, “The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.” While an intimate relationship is an interpersonal relationship that involves physical or emotional intimacy. Notice that a relationship can be either physical, emotional, or even a combination of both. This also counts for all those “online relationships” people are having these days.
You go on Facebook to network or share your passion for something, since there are tons of groups and fan pages these days, and you strike up a conversation with someone. Next thing you know, you are talking to this person everyday. The minute you blink your eyes, you now find yourself talking to this person about your life, he/she asks you for your phone number, and he/she says those exciting words: Let’s finally meet.
The only problem is that every time you bring up about meeting in person, he/she has some lame excuse. (Trust me, I have heard many crazy excuses from people telling me about their experiences!)
The same situation can also happen on Twitter, Instagram, or of course those nightmare dating sites.
Here’s the thing that most don’t realize: In this age of social media, we get emotionally attached and connected to people we don’t even know every day! The moment you start talking to someone every day, the moment you get their phone number, and the moment you talk about (and some promise) to meet -up, you are in a relationship with that person!
Some are friendships, yes, but for the sake of this article, I am talking about romantic relationships. So for those keeping the score at home, if what I described above sounds like you, congratulations, you are in an online relationship!
So, what does this all mean? It simply means that even though you aren’t married to this person, even though you have yet to meet this person face to face, while you are talking every day, and some get very intimate online, you are emotionally connected. And yes I know that some people chat it up with a lot of folks, especially guys. Tom chats with Donna, Cindy, Vanessa, and then there’s Denise. But if Tom is just chatting with those girls every so often and he is seriously talking to Mindy every day online, while also calling her on the phone, and he talked about wanting to finally meet up and that he loves her, Tom is in a relationship with Mindy and only Mindy.
I love guys online who constantly tell me that it’s not cheating if you aren’t married. That’s just the excuse they give themselves for their behavior as well as the way to reason with themselves that they didn’t fall for someone online. Remember, any type of cheating is not a mistake, it’s a choice. Single is only a status you fill out on a form, just because you aren’t checking the married box, doesn’t mean that you can’t cheat.
That is basically relationship 101.
Now back to my question, why do we feel that in order to be happy we must be in a relationship?
The thing is, nobody can give us a better life but ourselves, if you wait for someone to make you happy you will never be. But as human nature plays a part in our daily lives, no matter how many times you say you don’t need a boyfriend/girlfriend, your heart still craves to love someone truly. The thing to remember is this, sex is so easy to find, that’s why love is so hard to get. Our heart is like an unfinished puzzle, that is why we search for the perfect one to complete it. That’s is why some relationships end and new ones begin. Don’t just settle for someone, make sure that person is the one who fits the puzzle, because if you just try to force a relationship to work, you are hurting yourself and wasting someone else’s time.
You learn how to love others through the simple act of loving yourself. Without it, you will never be able to love someone else completely. So, to answer the question, the most important relationship you can ever have is with yourself, but, if you are looking for love this Valentine’s Day; here are 3 rules to remember.
RULE 1: Never EVER get yourself involved in a relationship with a man/woman who is newly divorced. He is still grieving the relationship himself & trying to sort out feelings. The worse thing to do is get hung up on a man who will be looking out for himself.
RULE 2: Know your worth. Most women forget about this one & feel that they aren’t worth it without a man. That’s when you settle for less than you deserve. Men: Don’t go for eye candy, go for a woman who has the biggest heart, the best personality and someone who will support your dreams.
RULE 3: In any relationship there needs to be trust & honesty; when there isn’t you don’t have a relationship at all. You are just 2 people in the same room.
January 12, 2020
7 dating tips you should follow if you are single:
Let me begin by saying, that most of these are for women, but I didn’t leave you guys out all together, so not to worry, I have 2 out of the 7 tips for just for you!
It’s a fact that I owe a great deal of who I am today, to every guy from my past. They have awoken the beast per-say. But because I took a long, hard look at myself, I am able to now be able and ready to love a man who deserves my love and knows my worth. It’s not an easy task to look yourself in the mirror, but as I observe many single ladies online and in reality, I have gained insight as to why so many relationships fail.
The first reason is because women have this stupid idea in their heads, that if they don’t have a man in their lives they are incomplete.
Dating tip #1: You don’t need a man to complete you, you need a man to COMPLIMENT you. There’s a distinct difference. To be complete means to love yourself. No man is ever going to complete you and make you whole. You need to complete yourself, by loving yourself.
Dating tip #2: Until a man has actually done something to make you not trust him, don’t make him pay for the troubles another man caused. So many times I see people tweeting or posting on Facebook how they don’t trust guys, when that guy has done nothing to you to make you feel that he isn’t worthy of your trust. Until a man actually lies to your face, cheats on you, or does something to hurt you, don’t punish him because the man before him did those things to you! Remember, assumptions ruin relationships.
Let me say that flirting with a guy, sending him little hints that you are interested in him, is not throwing yourself at him. Us women get so caught up in wanting to “land” a man, that what we are actually doing by going all out for him is pushing him further and further away.
Dating tip #3: Don’t ever feel like you have to chase anyone. Someone who truly appreciates you will walk with you and won’t need to be chased.
Dating tips #4 and #5 go together. There are some guys out there that use love to bait women into having sex with them, and there are women out there that use sex to try to bait men to love them. But what women just don’t understand about that “philosophy” is that, dating tip #4: Sex won’t make him love you. A guy can love your sex and still not love you. So if you think that he will fall madly in love with you because you are sleeping with him, I hate to break it to you, he’s won’t. This leads me to dating tip #5: Easy girls open their legs while smart girls open their minds. There’s a difference between being classy and being trashy. BE the GIRL that EVERY guy WANTS- NOT the girl that EVERY guy has HAD.
Now to give a tip to the guys out there. And since almost everyone has a smartphone I thought of a great analogy for the modern day man! Dating tip #6: Treat your woman like you treat your smartphone: touch her often, stare at her & make her the most important thing in your life.
Finally, here’s something that both men and women can relate to:
Dating tip #7: There’s a difference between giving up and knowing when you’ve had enough. Don’t stay with a partner who isn’t giving it their all. So many times people stay with their partner for way too long, hoping that they are going to realize just what you are offering. When the truth is, most times they won’t realize what they have and frankly they don’t deserve it. Giving up, doesn’t mean you don’t care. It means that you are tired of giving your everything & ending up with nothing. You know when you have tried to work things out, and if you have done your part and they refuse to do theirs, all you can do is walk away. It’s best to be alone and be happy, than to be in a relationship and be miserable!
If you spend too long holding on to the one who treats you like an option, you’ll miss finding the one who treats you like a priority. Love comes unexpectedly without any doubt or hesitation. At some point in life, someone will love you more than what you’ve expected. Be patient and learn to wait, because sometimes, a patient person receives the best love story.
Get the book, “Hello Love, Where’s Cupid 2nd Ed” Before the follow up comes out some time in the fall of 2020.
December 31, 2019
Diary of A Social Gal Part 3
In this last decade 2010-2019- was a preschool teacher for about six of those years. These last six years were the most satisfying out of my nineteen years. ( I also taught other age groups as well) When you teach as long as I have, you really do become a lot more patient, a lot more loving, and you realize that life is about grooming the next generation – it’s not about you.
I have had some really awesome families in my life as a school teacher. I have met some really terrific children in my years as a teacher as well. All the children brought me joy, love, and tons of adventures everyday!
I can tell you personally, that when I ever was having a tough time in my life, just getting to go to work and see their cute little faces, and get their remarkable hugs always made everything better.
Kids are a gift to us. They teach us so many things. They teach us about love, patience, compassion, risks, trail and error, victory, defeat and they teach us that the best way to be is to be ourselves.
You can enjoy watching the video clip on these 4 platforms:
December 22, 2019
20 random things about me for 2020
1- I am trademarking a name of a product that I intend to sell.
2. I am still researching the development of an app.
3. My follow-up to hello love where is Cupid second edition will be published in 2020. I still yet have to create a title.
4. My competition cheerleading team will be competing in 2020.
5. I will be posting a lot more branded content in 2020 since I am a social media influencer and a lot more companies want me to do it.
6. I want to read 20 books in 2020.
7. I may go back to school to take a course in 2020, but I am still looking at my options.
8. I never make New Year Resolutions…. ever.
9. I will also be writing a few short stories in 2020. Including a paperback for my Cat’s Diary Book.
10. I am on social media for work at least 60 hours a week- but I do take breaks.
From 11 to 20 will just be random fun facts about me- so you can get to know me.
11. I was not made for winter. Summer is my favorite season.
12. I wrote my best seller ” Hello Love, Where’s Cupid? 2nd ed” while I was at the beach. ( I put it together… It took 2 years of research though.)
13. I can’t eat mushrooms.
14. I really don’t like to eat fish unless I put hot sauce on it. But I do like crab cakes and shrimp.
15. My birthday in 2020 is on a Tuesday thanks to leap year!
16. I spend my early mornings working out, drinking coffee, planning out my day.
17. I am part of a million dollar BNI chapter.
18. I can’t stand it when people don’t say Thank you. I don’t need anything in return other than having folks show me that they appreciate my effort.
19. I am left-handed. Living in a right-handed world still isn’t that easy.
20. My favorite flower is a daisy. My favorite color is pink.
December 18, 2019
The Diary of A Social Gal Part 2
Photos Courtesy of Click Images Inc.
So if you missed it, I posted 2 videos on Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest about how I came to love dance and then cheer. The second video was about my present coaching gig. At the same time I was having a love affair with cheer, I also was coaching and loving basketball. I played basketball for a short period of time and won 1 championship as a player. As a coach I went to 2 championships and was 1-1. I coached CYO, AAU. and an athletic league team.
Sports were always a part of my life as a kid and even now as an adult. From sports as a young kid you learn team work, you learn that not everyone has the exact same skill, you learn communication is key to success and you learn that you will not win all the time. (And that is okay)
As a coach you learn how to connect with others, you learn how to inspire others and you learn that you need to plan in order to succeed.
All these lessons are not just about sports, but also about life. I learned a great deal from coaching basketball as I have also learned from coaching cheer. One of the most important things in life is to learn how to train yourself to know your own limits and goals. Having respect for your coaches in sports helps kids later on in life when dealing with adults or authoritative figures. If you’re not passionate enough, you’re never going to achieve anything. You need to really want to do something to be able to do it. Try, try and try again until you succeed.
Focus, mentally tough, and determined are things that coaching basketball.
Stay tuned for The Diary Of A Social Gal Part 3 – my 19 years as a Preschool Teacher Video coming on Twitter, Facebook and Pinterest.
December 4, 2019
7 Ways To Score Dates For Christmas
According to data analyzed from Facebook posts, two weeks before Christmas is one of the two most popular times for couples to break up. However, Christmas Day is the least favorite day for breakups. So, if you are on the rebound or looking for love this Christmas, waiting under the mistletoe isn’t going to help.
Here are The Seven Ways to Score Dates at Christmas:
1) Holiday Parties are happening from tonight all the way thru the end of the year. Remember, there is definitely a balance when it comes to being flirty, if you are too flirty you can come across as easy or sleazy and nobody wants that.
2) When you decide you are serious about finding someone to share your life with be serious about looking your best. Looking good makes you feel good, and when you feel good, you carry yourself with a positive glow
3) It’s no secret that if you keep going to the same places you won’t meet anyone different.
During the Christmas period there are a lot of people out and about. This time of year, I would say you have a good chance of meeting genuine people in bars because there are more people out and about for work Christmas parties and end of year drinks.
4) Watch your alcohol intake at this time of the year. We’re all partial to one too many mulled wines over the Christmas period, but if you’re looking to find someone special before you have to kiss at midnight, it’s important to stay in control and confident. No one is attracted to a slurring mess.
5) Be open to new people. Don’t worry about age, race, size, money, and all that stuff that SHOULD NOT matter. It’s such an important thing when looking for love because sometimes (and usually) the best partners are the ones you wouldn’t have normally chosen, which is why you might still be single.
6) With that said though, DON’T flock over to online dating sites just out of pure desperation! Instead of finding love, you will indeed find a nightmare in the making!
7) There’s nothing worse than someone who uses the phrase “bah humbug” over the Christmas season or has a negative attitude about their life or life in general. Life is not going to be a beach every day, there are going to be ups and downs no matter what time of year it is. Go into finding love with a positive attitude on life and you will attract someone who is worth it.
Remember, if you are still single at Christmas, it’s OKAY. Besides, 2020, is right around the corner!
We all don’t need to be in a relationship at the holiday time, even though society may tell us as well as the holiday movies, that we need to be “in love” at this time.
It’s always better to be single then to be in a relationship that doesn’t suit us; holiday time or any time.
May the Christmas season fill your home with family and friends, your heart with love & your life with laughter.
Merry Christmas to all my readers.
December 1, 2019
The Diary Of A Social Gal Part 2
To Watch The Video Production done by Kyle Kondor- please click here and look for the post My Cheer Past
November 27, 2019
The Diary Of A Social Gal ( Part 1)
(Photos Courtesy of Click Images Inc. )
What comes to mind when I think about building an empire? First and foremost, hard freaking work! Being a #girlboss has it’s ups and downs. Seeing so many young girls thinking that it’s “so easy” to build a brand, build presence, and build your company, always makes me laugh and roll my eyes.
I started SassyGirlPR in 2008. At first it wasn’t SassyGirlPR it was just me, Stephanie being a freelancer. I wrote for many blogs, many websites, and even did some ghost writing for celebrities and others. Then of course I started to write my own stuff and have a voice. My goal when I write, is not to have others know MY opinion, but to THINK about the other side of the story. Then of course I wrote my first book, “A Bird’s Eye View” which was a nonfiction book and talked about many topics. Once I got my feet wet, I guess you can say the rest is history! I got offered to write for many other sites, one being Blogher. Not only did I write for Blogher and have one of my pieces go viral,
“This Woman Does Not Support The Women’s March” but I was a third-party consultant for them and this is where I got my start with #SocialMediaMarketing –
I did campaigns for JcPenney, American Idol, AT&T, just to name a few. And I instantly fell in love with the concept and the idea.
Now I started to learn and teach myself all about social media and how to use it to market businesses, books, blogs, etc. And I have to say, I had very good success at it – I mean, my books and blogs were being read in other countries and it was just amazing on how I connected with so many people. This by the way, is the purpose of social media: to connect with others on a positive note, not like it is used today to spread hate and misinformation.
In the meantime while all this was going on, I was teaching Preschool, Pre-K and writing toddler programs for schools. I presented at the NAEYC in 2000 and loved teaching the little ones. We’ll get into this at another time, but I built my business Sassy Productions Inc, as a side job, and let me tell you, I tried to incorporate a lot of other businesses, but those failed. Those failures are what helped me grow, helped me understand business, and helped me become who I am today. I learned so much from the failed business attempts that is why I took eight years of building SassyGirlPR – now known as Sassy Productions. I wanted it to work. I wanted to be my own boss and play by my own rules.
Timing is everything in life, as is having patience. Life is process for that matter. We learn as we progress. So today, I not only run a social media marketing company, handle PR relations as well, write blogs, write books, and help other businesses, I did it all on my own terms.
2016 I became an Auntie. That was the perfect time to step away from teaching and focus on myself and my nephew. And things have just taken off from there.
So you see, life doesn’t always work out the way you think it will. There will be turns, stops, obstacles, at every corner, but with patience, perseverance and never stopping enthusiasm, you can start to build your own empire- one piece at a time.
Find The Diary of A Social Gal Parts 2 and 3 here:( Friday and Saturday)
November 26, 2019
Girls In Their 20s vs Women In Their 40s
When I check social media every day, it’s amazing how these 20 -something girls think that are such “hot stuff.” I really don’t make that much about it until they start messing with me – then I have to put them in their place. First off, this whole thing that women are “supposed” to support other women “just because” we’re women is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard of- you don’t see men supporting other men “Just because” you see men competing against other men and rightfully so.
So what does a 40 year old woman have that a 20 year old girl doesn’t? Well for starters, experience thank you.
1- Girls in their twenties don’t know how to fully love themselves- every inch of their bodies. I would have avoided many of the decisions that I made in my life if I truly just accepted who I was when I was twenty. Most girls want that “perfect” body. There is NO such thing as to having the perfect body, no matter what Victoria’s Secret or Vogue may tell you. You should embrace who you are inside and out.
2- Girls in their twenties are far from being authentic. It’s all about fitting in, instead of standing out. Stop comparing your life to someone’s else life you see on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter… etc. Be real. Be you. You are worth it – just like everyone else you see. Don’t let what others are doing online, bring you down or your self-worth. No one gets to tell you what your value is- You know your worth when you stop giving discounts.
3- Sex. Sorry girls, but forty year old women have been “around the block” so to say. First all of, older women don’t just “hook up” with guys like girls in their twenties who are hooking up left and right these days. When we do “hook up” we do that because we feel close to the guy we are with. 40 year old women can completely let them self go physically- we don’t care about anything else and are more prone to trying new things since we are already secure with our bodies and not insecure like 20 year old girls are. We also know what we like, how to orgasm, and how to satisfy our partners, where as a twenty year old has no clue. ( https://amzn.to/2I6xN8c) – Chapter 13 FYI
4- Learn to live in the moment. If you master this when you are young, you will appreciate life much more through every single stage of it. Also, It’s not your job to make everyone else happy. And even if you do so, that doesn’t mean you’ll be happy. Life is short. Women in their forties know this. We don’t give a flying F- if you aren’t happy with our choices. We do what we know is going to make us happy- not others.
5-Life is not like football. Stop trying to “score points” with every opportunity. To win in life is to overcome every obstacle that life throws at you. No one dies counting how many “touchdowns” they scored and compares that to someone else’s “score total” – In the end that doesn’t matter.
6- Life is not like baseball. Don’t give people 3 times to hurt you, they lie to you once, that should be it. They are showing you who they are, and that is a person who doesn’t respect you enough to tell you the truth. Twenty-somethings give people way too many chances.
7- You don’t DESERVE things you EARN things. Stop thinking that everyone “owes” you something! Excuse me girl, but no one owes you a damn thing! You want that guy- go get him. You want that job- work for it. You want that car- buy it…. And so forth. Skip half the parties you go to, if you work, at something, you will become better at it.
8- Stick to the original plan. Don’t let anyone talk you out of it. What ever you choose to be; be. Just because someone else has an “idea” of what you should do with your life, doesn’t mean you have to follow “their” plan. It’s your life, so live it and to the best of your ability. Stop blaming everyone else for your problems and giving excuses as to why you can’t do something or why something didn’t work out. Stop asking for permission. Forty year old women KNOW this.
9- Twenty year old girls don’t know how to have an ACTUAL conversation! Put down your damn phone! Forty year old women have such better social skills than you simply because we weren’t born with cell phones, social media and that has taken the skill of communication to an entire new level. Learn how to talk to others in person. Get off dating apps, social media apps, and get into the real world and start talking to others. Not only are you going to find out more about others, you will also find out more about yourself. And in the business world, you are going to have to talk to others face to face. A screen isn’t going to do.
10- Finally, alcohol is like cancer for your body. Twenty-somethings always feel the need to “get drunk” or “get high” at parties, when things are tough, etc. Forty year old women know that if we need to get high – we get high on life. Yes, we have an occasional drink from time to time, but we don’t rely on alcohol, basically because we don’t have time to stay in bed with a hangover or frankly want one. (Let the beer vs wine debate begin)
Age will happen whether you’re afraid of it or not, so get living! I don’t believe in age, I believe in energy. Stop telling older women that they are “too old” – remember, one day, the roles will reverse. Karma has a way of sneaking up on you.
