Lolly Daskal's Blog, page 96
June 9, 2018
35 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship
No relationship is perfect, in the personal or the business sphere. But for the most part,
a good relationship makes you feel secure, happy, cared for, respected, and free to be yourself.
On the other side of the coin are toxic relationships–the ones that make you feel drained, depleted, and sometimes even distraught.
Whether you’re running a business, working with a partner, leading an organization,
or managing a team, the last thing you need is a toxic relationship.
Here are some signs to help you recognize a toxic relationship:
1. All take, no give. Any relationship in which you experience withdrawals of energy without deposits will leave you in the negative.
2. Feeling drained. If, instead of feeling happy and productive, you’re always mentally, emotionally, and even physically drained, it’s time to re-evaluate.
3. Lack of trust. A relationship without trust is like a car without gas: You can stay in
it all you want, but it won’t go anywhere.
4. Hostile atmosphere. Constant anger is a sure sign of an unhealthy relationship.
You should never be around hostility because it makes you feel unsafe.
5. Occupied with imbalance. A one-sided relationship can never run smoothly.
6. Constant judgment. In judgmental relationships, criticism is not intended to be
helpful but rather to belittle.
7. Persistent unreliability. Mutual reliability is important to building trust and is at the
core of any good relationship.
8. Nonstop narcissism. If the other party’s interest in the relationship is really just a reflection of him or herself, it’s impossible to achieve any kind of balance.
9. Loaded with negative energy. It’s almost impossible for anything positive to come
out of a relationship filled with negativity.
10. Lack of communication. Without communication, there is no relationship. Period.
11. Continuous disrespect. Mutual respect is the first requirement of a good partnership.
12. Mutual avoidance. If you spend your time avoiding each other, that tells you all
you need to know.
13. Insufficient support. If you cannot turn to each other, is there a reason to be in
the relationship?
14. Ceaseless control issues. If one person is in control, or a constant tug-of-war is going on, you’re probably spending too much energy navigating the relationship.
15. Never-ending drama. Good relationships improve your life; they don’t make it messier.
16. Persistent self-betrayal. If you find yourself changing your opinions to please someone else, you’re in a damaging relationship.
17. Constant challenges. All relationships go through challenges, but good relationships work through them.
18. Feelings of unworthiness. It’s an insidious thing negative relationships do: They
leave you feeling you don’t deserve any better.
19. Vibes of entrapment. Is the other person a positive force in your life, or are you
there because you don’t see any way out?
20. Always undermining. If a relationship can’t be reassuring, it’s failing a crucial test.
21. Empty pretense. Smiles don’t always mean everything is OK.
22. Packed with uncertainty. When nothing is sure, forward movement feels impossible.
23. Brimming with envy. Partners are never equal in all aspects, but that should be a source of strength, not of a source of disruptive envy.
24. Shortage of autonomy. Anyone in any relationship should have the right to say no.
25. Permeates victimhood. You can’t move onto the future if you’re tied to someone who’s still stuck in the past.
26. Diminishes your self-worth. When you’re in a relationship with someone who
doesn’t acknowledge your value, it can be hard to see it yourself.
27. Laced with dishonesty. Every lie between partners undercuts a little bit of the relationship.
28. Makes you unhappy. If someone is constantly making you unhappy, you owe it to yourself to let that person go.
29. Feels uncomfortable. Sometimes your mind needs more time to discover what
your heart already knows.
30. Lowers your high standards. Toxic relationships can cause us to slowly begin accepting what was once not acceptable.
31. Senses stagnant. Growth and learning are vital, and you can’t afford to be cut
off from them.
32. Cuts corners. Nothing is ever worth cutting corners, or accepting anything that
is second rate.
33. Filled with criticism. A nonstop barrage of criticism never helped anyone improve;
it’s not about making things better but boosting the critic’s ego.
34. Brings out the worst. If you are constantly being your worst, you cannot be your
best self.
35. Cannot do anything right. If you cannot do anything right, maybe the relationship
is all wrong.
Relationships are important, and a toxic relationship can cost you dearly in time and energy that you could be putting to much better use.
Stay true to yourself and your values, listen to your heart, and be strong if you need
to extricate yourself from a toxic relationship.
N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership
Photo Credit: Getty Images
The post 35 Signs You’re in a Toxic Relationship appeared first on Lolly Daskal.
Why the First and Most Important Person You Need to Lead Is Yourself
Every business needs a leader who can cultivate a compelling vision, define a strategic plan, develop change management, lead employees, and inspire commitment among his or her people.
I have found in my many years as a coach to top leaders that if people are going to be successful and skillful at leadership, they must first become a leader who leads from within.
Put another way: You must know who you are as a leader before you can lead others.
Here are nine skills to sharpen if you want to be a successful leader:
1. Cultivate your self-awareness.
Self-knowledge is the beginning of self-improvement. Successful leaders don’t only run an organization–they also lead people. It’s paramount that you know yourself well, because when you know yourself, you are empowered; when you accept yourself, you are invincible.
2. Develop the right mindset.
Develop your mindset. Start each day with a decision to be happy. Embrace the positives and let go of all the frustrations and past failures that can distract you. When you master your mindset, you free yourself to achieve the level of success you are capable of, because as Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right.”
3. Capitalize on your confidence.
Successful leaders capitalize on their confidence when difficulties arise. Don’t allow your insecurities to get the best of you. Remember that your confidence is like a muscle–the more you use it, the stronger it gets.
4. Continue to learn.
Try to learn something new every day. Read newspapers, books, magazines, and online. Search for what is innovative and creative, and try to intersect what is new to what you are already doing. The most skillful leaders never stop being a student.
5. Teach to grow.
Don’t hoard your knowledge but share it: with your team, with your colleagues, with your clients. The more you teach as a leader, the more you grow. When you learn, teach; when you get, give.
6. You are the results of your experiences.
One of the hardest things to do is to learn from your mistakes, but even the most successful leaders have made mistakes they don’t want to repeat. Document your experiences and ask yourself what you could do better next time. Reference back often so you don’t repeat patterns. You can learn something from everything you do, good or bad. The only source of knowledge is experience.
7. Success is a series of small wins.
It can be hard to build momentum, so start with small wins. The best way to have a sustainable successful year is to secure small wins, because small wins, small differences, often make a huge difference.
8. Action speaks louder than words.
To be a successful leader, you have to be out there–you have to hit the ground running, taking action, taking risks. If not, you will find yourself growing stagnant and stale. If you wait until you are ready, you may be waiting for the rest of your career.
9. Find the balance.
Last, but definitely not least, learn to take care of yourself. Keep a balance. Eat healthy foods and exercise each day, even if it’s just a brisk walk. Make time for the people and things you love outside of work.
You can make this your year, but it takes skillful leadership to make it happen. It all starts with you–with knowing yourself, learning daily, and sharing that knowledge with others. Then when the difficult days come, and they will, you will be prepared.
N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership
Photo Credit: Getty Images
The post Why the First and Most Important Person You Need to Lead Is Yourself appeared first on Lolly Daskal.
7 Smart Habits of the Most Successful Leaders
It’s easy to get caught up in the energy and uncertainty–living moment to moment.
Even among the panics and joys of your enterprise’s life, you can be constructing the bedrock of all your later success.
Here’s how:
1. Prioritize what’s truly important.
When you know what’s important to you, you know what to spend your time on. Say no to distractions and busy work, and yes to things that keep you focused and help you succeed.
2. Build on strengths.
You likely know your strengths already–but if not, start assessing them now. They will differentiate you from the rest of the pack, allowing you to create a clear direction and move forward to producing the right results.
3. Be tenacious.
Perseverance is part of every great success story. As Steve Jobs said, “I’m convinced that about half of what separates the successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance.” If something isn’t going well, keep at it. Because every great enterprise has its roots in tenacity.
4. Make the commitment.
If something is going to get done, it is ultimately up to you. Even the things you delegate can be handled in a way that hands along a commitment and not just the task. The little choices you make every day lead to the final results you are working toward to be successful.
5. Keep learning.
Whether you’re failing or succeeding, there are lessons all around you if you pay attention and keep your mind open. You can learn from them and make sure they don’t happen in your professional and personal life again.
6. Be decisive.
Waffling and second-guessing accomplish nothing but wasting time. By all means, plan, analyze, and be thoughtful and intentional about what you do–but when the time comes to make a decision, make it firmly. Don’t look back or second-guess yourself. Because every great enterprise needs a decisive leader.
7. Take care of yourself.
When you honor your relationship with yourself, you give yourself what you need. And from there, you can reach to help others get to what they need, and then together you can accomplish great things together.
As with any business, the best way to start out is to focus on the fundamentals. Start today to incorporate these key principles into your enterprise–and your life–and see what a difference this year will make.
N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership
Photo Credit: Getty Images
The post 7 Smart Habits of the Most Successful Leaders appeared first on Lolly Daskal.
June 5, 2018
Overcome These Obstacles and Build an Effective Team
After decades of observing teams as an executive leadership coach, I’ve come to realize two things.
First, every team has issues to overcome before they can function effectively.
Second, every team has the ability to navigate those issues and do great work together. There aren’t any shortcuts, but you can make it happen with determination and hard work.
Here are some of the most common obstacles I see in teams. Think about the teams you’re involved with as you read through and see if you recognize any patterns:
Weak leadership. When a team isn’t meeting expectations, the problem often lies not with the team but with the leader. If the leader isn’t up to it, someone else on the team needs to step up, even unofficially. Once the ineffective leader sees how it’s done, they may begin to serve more effectively. If not, the bases are covered. Bottom line: in the absence of leadership, it is the responsibility of the team to step up and lead the way. The solution is to establish sound leadership.
Lack of connection. When a team can’t connect, the real issue is usually communication. And that’s critical, because communication is the one of the most important factors in successful teamwork. Fostering communication means being open to suggestions and concerns, asking questions and offering help. The solution is to establish cohesive communication among your team members.
Only a few members are engaged. If you’ve ever attended a meeting where two or three people are doing all the discussion, you understand this issue. Fairness aside, it’s not sustainable. Sooner or later, the rock stars will quit carrying the others, and the entire team will go down. Everyone member needs a role that fits their abilities, and accountability for carrying it out. The solution is to find a way for everyone to be of value.
Trust is lacking. This one’s simple, although it may be the most important of all. If you can’t trust your teammates, you don’t have a team. Trust is the foundation of any effective team. The solution is to model and foster trust, trustworthiness, and trusting relationships.
Self-serving attitudes. When a team member’s in it only for themselves, they do real damage. They withhold information, fail to communicate and can’t be trusted. It doesn’t take them long to erode the team’s fiber. The solution is to build a culture based on working together, connecting together and winning together.
Death by consensus. Consensus is great, but it often takes a bad turn. Months can pass with the same topic unresolved because people are absent or disengaged. If no one’s interested, don’t make it important. Give a deadline for opinions and then make a decision. The solution is to set objectives, solve problems and plan for action.
Lead From Within: Creating an effective team is ongoing process that takes leadership and partnership. It can be challenging work, but it’s well worth the effort.
N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership
Photo Credit: Getty Images
The post Overcome These Obstacles and Build an Effective Team appeared first on Lolly Daskal.
May 15, 2018
How to Be an Empathetic Leader
A few weeks ago, I was coaching a top leader across the pond, talking to him about the importance of empathy. When I told him that the best leaders are empathetic leaders, he challenged me on the spot. When it came to his own leadership, he said, he didn’t want to come across as weak.
Many people view displaying empathy as weakness. I understand that point of view, but I don’t agree. As this leader’s coach, I was charged with helping him see the true nature of empathy and how it could not only benefit his own leadership but also do good for others.
Empathy is a right-brain activity, the kind that many people consider a touchy-feely discipline—a soft skill, as it’s called these days. But at its core, empathy is a valued currency. Sometimes leaders need to get out of their own shoes and put on someone else’s to truly understand what is happening around them.
Cultivating empathy as a leadership skill allows you to create bonds of trust. It gives you insight into what others are feeling and thinking, and it helps you understand their reactions. At its foundation, empathy informs your decision making by sharpening your perceptions and intuition.
So, getting back to my client, here are the tips I shared with him about being empathetic without being perceived as weak:
Truly listen. Empathetic leaders don’t just listen but truly listen. There’s a big difference. True listening means listening with open ears, open eyes and an open heart. It means paying attention to body language, to tone of voice, to the hidden emotions behind what’s being said. Most of all, it means not thinking about what you’re going to say next. You’ll always gain more from listening than from speaking.
Don’t interrupt. Empathetic leaders know how easily distractions can affect the quality of listening. A distracted listener often grows impatient or frustrated and interrupts the speaker in an attempt to get them to move along with what they’re saying, leaving the speaker unable to express their thoughts or make their point. However strong the distraction, don’t rush people or cut them off—or worse, try to be the kind of fixer who has a slapdash solution to everything. Giving people the space to say what they have to say is an important form of empathy.
Be fully present. When an empathetic leader speaks with someone, you’ll never catch them glancing at their watch or scanning the room or checking their phone. It’s simple: When someone is speaking, listen. If they’re expressing their feelings, be there with them. Concentrate on putting yourself in their shoes and think of ways you can be supportive.
Leave judgment behind. Even when the feelings of others are in direct opposition to their own, empathetic leaders don’t judge. They let go of their biases and allow themselves to be open to new perspectives. When you’re an empathetic leader, you don’t look at the feelings of others in terms of agreement or disagreement but as a window into their perceptions and world view, an opportunity to better understand what they’re experiencing and expressing.
Watch body language. Empathetic leaders understand that nonverbal communication can say more about what you are thinking than any words. Body language is often the most direct way people communicate what they think or feel, even when their verbal communication says something quite different. Be aware of your own body language as you deal with others: remain open and listening, lean in when people speak, and show that you’re interested in what they are saying. Spend some time considering how you come across when you communicate with others.
Encourage the quiet ones. In meetings, there are always two or three who do most of the talking. .And then there are the quiet ones who for whatever reason never speak up as much, even if their ideas are solid. As a leader, make it a point to encourage people to have a say; the simple act of encouraging the quiet ones will empower everyone around you.
Take a personal interest. Empathetic leaders have genuine curiosity about the lives of those who work for them, and they show their interest by asking questions about people’s lives, their challenges, their families, their aspirations. It’s not professional interest but personal, and it’s the strongest way to build relationships.
When a leader lacks empathy, others approach with their guard up and everyone feels alone in looking after their own interests. With an empathetic leader, though, everyone knows they can be open about what they are thinking and feeling without being judged, dismissed or ignored.
Lead from within: Empathy is an emotional and thinking muscle that becomes stronger with use. It doesn’t come across as weak but as the best kind of strength.
N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership
Photo Credit: Getty Images
The post How to Be an Empathetic Leader appeared first on Lolly Daskal.
May 14, 2018
We Cannot Lead Others Without First Leading From Within
What makes a great leader? Leadership and management expert Lolly Daskal takes the stereotype of the single, superior figure wielding power over the masses and turns it inside out—literally. “We think leadership is an external quality, but it is and always has been an internal quality,” Daskal says. “Leaders aren’t great because they have power, but because they can empower others.”
Effective leadership is as simple—and challenging—as knowing who you are, what you stand for, and how you can use that to serve others. Daskal’s talk introduces you to your inherent ability to lead from within. Are you ready?
Lolly Daskal is one of the most sought-after executive leadership coaches in the world. Her extensive cross-cultural expertise spans 14 countries, six languages and hundreds of companies.
As founder and CEO of Lead From Within, her proprietary leadership program is engineered to be a catalyst for leaders who want to enhance performance and make a meaningful difference in their companies, their lives, and the world. Based on a mix of modern philosophy, science, and nearly thirty years coaching top executives, Lolly’s perspective on leadership continues to break new ground and produce exceptional results.
Lolly Daskal’s new book, The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness is a Wall Street Journal Bestseller and she is also the bestselling author of Thoughts Spoken From the Heart.
Of her many awards and accolades, Lolly was designated a Top-50 Leadership and Management Expert by Inc.com, and 100 Great Leadership Speakers for Your Next by Inc. Magazine. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community.
The post We Cannot Lead Others Without First Leading From Within appeared first on Lolly Daskal.
May 8, 2018
The Unexpected Quality Every Successful Leader Needs
It’s never hard to find a discussion—in this blog and lots of other places, online and off—of the skills that are required for good leadership. Among the most important is one that surprisingly is rarely mentioned: curiosity, the secret gift of creative people and successful leaders.
Curious people have a beginner’s mind—empty, free, unbiased, and unoccupied with the baggage of trying to be an expert. They’re open to all possibilities and are able to view even the most familiar things from a fresh perspective.
Curious leaders are deep thinkers, great listeners and even better questioners. Here are seven ways to foster your own curiosity:
Embrace what you don’t know. As leaders, we often think we have to serve up all the answers. But the best leaders are comfortable with not knowing. When they don’t know something, they don’t try to fake it. They’re aware of what they don’t know and unafraid to admit it. They’re open to learning new things because they’re free from pretending they already know everything. The best leaders leverage their ignorance to open the door on new knowledge.
Know that everything begins with “why.” Part of my job as a coach is helping people dive deeper into their thinking, and a trick I use with many of my clients is to ask the question Why?— not once or twice, but five or six times in sequence from a single question, going as far as possible into an idea. Asking yourself Why? again and again will challenge you to confront your obstacles, formulate and frame the questions, articulate the issues and go deeper.
Be ready to reframe your thinking. It’s easy in these fast-paced times to feel that you can’t keep up, and from there to become overwhelmed. There’s a certain amount of stability to be gained by sticking to the fundamentals, but eventually the best leaders realize the limits of the lens through which they’ve been viewing the world. From there, they’re ready to construct a whole new frame of reference that will help them face the challenges and opportunities they couldn’t even imagine a few years ago.
Learn to navigate challenges. New challenges are everywhere, and more seem to crop up daily. Navigating change and challenges is a key competency of the best leaders. One helpful mental model consists of asking three questions: Why? What if? and How? Asking Why? helps you understand the challenge. What if? helps you imagine and weigh different solutions, and How? challenges you to take concrete action and maintain accountability. This technique can give you a fresh outlook on problems, challenges and solutions.
Understand that knowledge is becoming obsolete: In an era when information increases exponentially, it’s impossible to retain everything. Effective leaders know what to commit to memory and have the skills to find the rest. And for a curious mind, asking the questions is just as important as finding the answers.
Avoid small-minded questions. If you ask small questions, you’re going to get small ideas that do nothing to advance your thinking. To innovate you have to ask expansive questions. It’s not always easy to do in a business culture where leaders are expected to act as if they know everything and hierarchy is the norm. But newer models emphasizing flexibility, speed and collaborative inquiry are friendlier to the kind of curiosity that asks the big questions.
Step back to move forward. It’s easy to stay caught in a cycle where we’re so focused on our day-to-day issues that we never seem to have time to slow down and really think. Maybe more than any other factor, the pressure of short-term demands shuts out curiosity. That’s why it’s so important that leaders learn to pause and take a couple of steps back. A little distance creates perspective and expands your point of view to take in a bigger picture.
The most important thing a business leader should do today is become the chief question asker. Curiosity leads to creativity, innovation and transformation. The more questions you ask, the more you know and the more effective you will become. And when you take the next step, from asking questions to taking action, that’s where leadership is at its best.
Lead from within: Curiosity is the unexpected quality that makes the difference between a good leader and a great leader.
N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership
Photo Credit: Getty Images
The post The Unexpected Quality Every Successful Leader Needs appeared first on Lolly Daskal.
May 1, 2018
How to Grow as a Leader
Growth in leadership is mandatory, not optional. If we fail to grow it’s not a matter of just staying where we are—we become stagnant and fall further and further behind.
Growing as a leader requires that we give up the things that are familiar to us, that we take new steps and do things in new ways. Those actions are what change is made of. The reward lies not in what we get from growth, but in what we become because of our growth.
Here are some daily habits you can take to grow as a leader:
Develop a repertoire of skills. To be the best leader you are capable of being, you need to constantly be mastering new competencies, instead of relying on the skills you already have under your belt. Growing leaders are constantly updating and expanding their skills and knowledge.
Learn through your experiences. The more you experience, the more you know. That means that even the most difficult challenges present an opportunity to engage in that experience, learn the lessons it holds, and apply your new knowledge to whatever comes next.
Challenge your comfort zone. It’s tempting to lull yourself into always doing the same things in the same ways with the same people at the same time with the same results. But there’s no room in that picture for stretching yourself to become better. Get comfortable being uncomfortable, because that’s how you grow.
Focus on the future by being present today. When you’re stuck in the past it can be hard to get unstuck, but when you’re focused on the present you know that everything you do today will affect the future. Growing leaders know that the present is the foundation for the future.
Set the bar high. Most people wonder, “How can I get there faster, quicker, and in a shorter time?” But leaders who are serious about growth are always raising the bar for themselves, not just for others. They keep the bar high and do everything they can to consistently reach it.
Look within. When you first start in position of leadership, you’re more concerned with your external qualities, but as you grow in leadership you rediscover that leading is an internal quality. To lead outwardly you first must learn to lead from within.
Keep asking questions. Growing leaders are always asking questions. Many people believe that leadership is about knowing all the answers, but that’s simply wrong. True leadership is about being inquisitive. When you stop asking questions, you stop growing.
Leverage your weaknesses. It’s easy to play from your strengths, but when you become better acquainted with your own weaknesses and learn to leverage them, you’re positioning yourself to grow as a leader.
Embrace failure. All of us fall at some point; it’s getting up again that counts. Being able to weather failure and recover is a sign of growth—and the source of some of the most important lessons you’ll ever learn.
Work with a coach. The best way to grow as a leader is to have an external support. A coach can help you to become a better version of yourself by guiding you through important decisions, keeping you grounded in difficult times, and helping you understand your purpose and goals. Most importantly, they can help you learn faster from your successes and failures.
Lead from within: Growth is the great separator between those who succeed and those who don’t.
N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership
Photo Credit: Getty Images
The post How to Grow as a Leader appeared first on Lolly Daskal.
April 25, 2018
Understanding Your Gaps and How to Embrace Your Greatness
In this 20-minute podcast, listen to Jesse Lyn Stoner and Lolly Daskal talk about how to embrace your gaps in order to step into your greatness.
The post Understanding Your Gaps and How to Embrace Your Greatness appeared first on Lolly Daskal.
April 24, 2018
Why Compassion Is the Key To Being A Great Leader
There will always be opinions and discussion about the traits that are important to strong leadership. But there’s one trait that every successful leader must have, and that’s compassion.
Compassion isn’t something you’re born with—it grows out of considerate behavior. In the organizations where I coach, employees report that their best leaders are the ones who are empathetic, sympathetic and understanding—in other words, considerate.
Here are some of the things great leaders do that you can emulate to build your own capacity for consideration and compassion:
They change up the conversation. Too many of us contribute to every conversation with statements about ourselves and our accomplishments. A considerate and compassionate leader understands that “I” isn’t especially useful as a conversation starter, and that when leaders stop focusing on their own egos they’re able to develop other leaders. The entire practice of compassion is about going from self to others, from “I” to “we.” Those who already focus on the value of others have a head start.
They work to build a collaborative culture. Compassionate leaders have concern for everyone. They excel at inviting the whole team to share in the organization’s vision and goals and to help create the action steps needed to achieve them. An environment where everyone can collaborate by sharing their ideas and offering creative solutions is an organization that thrives and—not coincidentally—where leadership excels.
They display compassion by listening. Effective leadership finds its source in listening and understanding. The amount of time you spend talking to and listening to an employee is a sign of how important you consider them to be—to you and to the organization. That’s why the best leaders spend a lot of time walking around and chatting with their employees. They invite their comments and encourage open discussion and disagreements about work. This approach results in an environment where people feel the work belongs to them as well as to the company. Employees feel good about themselves and more fully committed to doing the job and doing it well.
They embody positivity. It’s important for leaders to be able to empower and motivate others. The best way to accomplish that is simply to be a genuinely positive person. When you can develop a positive mental attitude and be the kind of leader who always has something good to say, you make people feel comfortable around you and secure enough to tell you anything that needs to be said.
They invest their time. Time is among the most precious, and scarce, resources we have. Compassionate leaders know that time invested in their team will yield great dividends. When people feel they have a strong relationship with their leader because their leader is deeply invested in who they are, they’re willing to offer their best work—a win-win situation.
They show compassion by caring. There are lots of ways for leaders to show they care through support, mentorship and guidance, and especially approval. When a leader expresses recognition, employees feel appreciated and organizations accomplish great things.
They walk their talk. Compassionate leaders are those who lead from within, those who have the ability to inspire others through encouragement and empowerment. When you treat people with compassion they never forget. You cultivate people who want to work for you not because of what you do but because of who you are.
Lead from within: Leadership is about compassion. It’s about having the ability to relate to and connect with people for the purpose of inspiring and empowering their lives.
N A T I O N A L B E S T S E L L E R
THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness
After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.
Additional Reading you might enjoy:
12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership
Photo Credit: Getty Images
The post Why Compassion Is the Key To Being A Great Leader appeared first on Lolly Daskal.
