Lolly Daskal's Blog, page 94

10 Bad Habits That Are Actually Good for You

We tend to group habits into two clear groups: good and bad.

It sounds like common sense, but the line isn’t always so clear. Some habits that we think of as bad can actually be good for you in the right situation.

Here are some habits you may want to reconsider:

1. Procrastination. In a culture where we’re constantly running at full speed, multitasking and distracted, we don’t always realize how tired and stressed we are. Sometimes the best thing you can do for yourself is to put things off and remember that everything doesn’t always have to be so urgent.

2. Boredom. Most people disapprove of boredom, sometimes because they believe it reflects a lack of inner resources. But being bored can be an important conduit for creative thinking. It can give you the space you need to turn old problems into innovative solutions or find new areas of thought and imagination.

3. Saying no. We’ve been taught that saying no is a selfish act. But the alternative–saying yes to everything–can lead to overwork, scattered energy and resentment. Learning how to graciously say no to things that don’t matter will free up the time you need to focus on the things that are most important.

4. Doing less. Today’s work culture tells us we should always be doing more, more, more. It leaves us feeling like we’re falling farther and farther behind no matter how hard we work. So take some stuff off your plate. Delegate. Keep projects in bounds when they threaten to grow out of control.

5. Tuning out. Even if you’re saying no, procrastinating, and doing less, you can’t recharge your batteries if you’re still internally plugged into your to-do list. To truly revive yourself means disconnecting entirely. Play some music or paint or meditate or read a book or go for a hike in the woods. Getting lost in a different world for a while can be hugely energizing.

6. Losing your temper. We’re taught that we should never lose our temper, that we should manage our emotions in every situation. But there are times when it’s OK, even necessary, to let go and vent. It’s much healthier to lose your temper here and there instead of holding everything in until you explode and do real damage–or keep it bottled and do psychic harm to yourself.

7. Daydreaming. Many people think of daydreaming as a form of laziness, but allowing your mind to wander is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Daydreaming actually helps boost your problem-solving abilities. So while it may increase the time it takes to complete the task in front of you, it can help you be effective in understanding and solving bigger issues.

8. Messiness. Some studies have found that a messy environment can be good for productivity, especially if your work requires creative thought. Neat rooms may be pleasant and calming, but untidiness lends itself well to solutions from off the beaten path.

9. Fidgeting. You may have been told that an inability to sit still is a bad habit. But researchers have found that that wiggling in your seat, tapping your foot, jiggling your legs or even drumming your fingers can increase your metabolism and may play a positive role in overall fitness.

10. Sleeping late. Many people think those who sleep are lazy and unmotivated. In actuality, many people are not getting enough sleep during the week and are trying to make up for it over the weekend. But insufficient sleep is associated with a wide range of health problems, from stroke risk to weight gain. So don’t begrudge your body what it needs. Don’t sleep all day, but don’t feel bad when you hit the snooze alarm a few extra times.

Now, go enjoy some of the habits you used to feel bad about!

 

N A T I O N A L    B E S T S E L L E R

THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The post 10 Bad Habits That Are Actually Good for You appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

Richard Branson’s Secrets on Public Speaking -You Need to Know

I recently heard Richard Branson say how much he hates public speaking. I have to admit I was more than a little surprised, because I constantly see him out and about on the speaking circuit. Along with his feelings, he shared some of the secrets that he finds helpful when he has to speak in public.

Here are seven of the most important. These concepts can teach any one of us to be a better speaker–whether we’re leading the weekly staff update, addressing a city council meeting, or keynoting a conference with thousands of attendees.

Speak from the heart.

Not only is Branson nervous about speaking in public, he also hates rehearsed speeches because they add extra pressure. To respond to both challenges, he’s deceived a simple technique: he speaks from the heart. As the old saying goes, the one thing you can’t fake is sincerity.

Express your passion.

Branson believes that if you can speak with passion, you can get your message across and people will resonate with what you have to say. You don’t need to be the world’s foremost expert, but you should have an abundance of love for your topic. Let listeners recognize your deep connection to the subject in your words, in your face and in your body language. Motivate your audience to trust their own desires and act on them.

Have a sense of humor.

Like many effective speakers, Branson believes in using humor. He recommends placing witty lines at the beginning and end of a talk, putting a laugh in the middle with serious stuff on either side, and concluding with a smile. Going against what many speakers are told they must do, he advocates for wit and smiles rather than the riskier choice of telling a joke that may fall flat.

Stay humble.

Depending on the topic, your humility may actually be part of the message. Ego has no place when it comes to public speaking. The best speakers, like the best leaders, know what they are there to serve–and they accomplish that by remaining humble.

Be authentic.

When it comes to connecting with your audience, Branson says, you have to be genuine. You have to be able to walk your talk if you want listeners to trust you. Even if you think of yourself as an honest, forthright speaker, you need to reach every higher to make sure you’re speaking with authenticity for maximum credibility.

Focus on giving real value.

Branson concentrates on being valuable to his audience when he speaks. He wants to give people something genuinely useful in exchange for their precious time, not speak just to hear himself talk.

Feel the nerves but do it anyway.

Even though public speaking isn’t Branson’s favorite thing and it makes him nervous, he does it anyway. In exchange for a chance to share what he’s learned along the way with others, he’s willing to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. Aside from the benefits to others, he knows he can develop and grow as a leader and a person every time he feels the nerves and does it anyway.

Take a page from Richard Branson’s playbook–recognize the value of public speaking and put yourself out there, however you feel about it.

Not only is Branson nervous about speaking in public, he also hates rehearsed speeches because they add extra pressure. To respond to both challenges, he’s deceived a simple technique: he speaks from the heart. As the old saying goes, the one thing you can’t fake is sincerity.

 

N A T I O N A L    B E S T S E L L E R

THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

 
12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old

 

A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness

 

How to Succeed as A New Leader

 

12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves

 

4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders

 

The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed

 

The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The post Richard Branson’s Secrets on Public Speaking -You Need to Know appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

7 Destructive Phrases You Need to Stop Saying at Work

We pay a lot of attention to looking professional in the workplace, but we don’t always give enough thought to sounding professional.

What you say and how you say it goes far in telling those around you how serious you are (or aren’t).

Here are some phrases you can hear every day in many workplaces. Whatever the intent of the speaker, the real message they send is that they’re inexperienced or uncommitted–not exactly the impression most people want to leave. If you ever catch yourself saying any of these things, put a stop to it at once:

1. “It’s not my fault.”

There’s no way to keep this from sounding whiny and blaming. It doesn’t even matter if it’s true–it leaves a bad impression. Take ownership and accountability for the things you do, and when something goes wrong, keep the focus on solving the problem and preventing a recurrence rather than blame. To make a mistake is part of learning, but to make excuses and to blame others is a career killer.

2. “I can’t.”

When you say you can’t do something, you demonstrate a lack of confidence and unwillingness to take risks. Instead, try one of these options: “This is new territory for me, but I’m willing to take it on” or “Can I call on you if I run into snags?” or “Sure, I’d love to learn how to do this.”

3. “I’m not willing to.”

If you say you’re unwilling, you’re backing down from a challenge–and you’re saying that your priorities are more important than the team’s or the organization’s. If you want to excel, you have to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.

4. “What’s in it for me?”

If you think only of yourself and how you will benefit, you’re going to be (correctly) perceived as self-serving–and most organizations have little tolerance or patience for those who refuse to be part of a team. To be successful, focus more on we and less on I.

5. “I can’t work with her.” (or him)



Choosing whom you will and won’t work with makes you sound not only unprofessional but also immature. Learn to deal with conflict, and set differences aside when you need to. And if the other person’s offense is truly egregious, like sexual harassment or threatening behavior, report it through the appropriate channels.

6. “I’m bored.”

This may be the most damaging one of all. What are the people around you to think when you voice the fact that you find your work tiresome or tedious, insufficient to hold your attention? Your job is to find enthusiasm–or at least cheerful willingness–for everything you do. If you need more of a challenge, find a new activity to take on.

7. “I’ll try.”

Trying doesn’t mean doing. You can try without being successful, or for that matter without really putting up much effort. If you try with determination and perseverance, you’re going to get there–so say so! Instead of “I’ll try,” confidently say, “I’ll take care of it.”

At the end of the day, the best way to look and feel more experienced and professional at work is to listen closely to every word you say and ask yourself if it means what you want it to mean. Let your words serve you well, be your confident self, and you’ll soon earn the respect you want.

 

N A T I O N A L    B E S T S E L L E R

THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The post 7 Destructive Phrases You Need to Stop Saying at Work appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

50 Forms of Dysfunction in the Workplace

Every workplace has some degree of dysfunction, of course. Often the ones that are the healthiest think they’re the worst, and vice versa.

But dysfunction–in any form and any degree–comes at a cost, keeping us from effective outcomes, efficient results and successful conclusions.

At its worst, it can bring down an entire organization.

The first step is recognizing the problem.

Do any of these sound like your workplace? If so, you may need help getting the culture back on track.

1. Letting personal problems overwhelm effectiveness. Life throws us all our share of curve balls, and you sometimes they arrive when we’re at work. But personal distractions should be the exception, not the norm.

2. Withdrawing support. The workplace should be a place where you can rely on being treated fairly and with respect. But if a significant number of workers violate the principle of mutual support, deterioration follows.

3. Hiding resources or withholding information. Those who refuse to share knowledge–either by playing dumb or being evasive–are working only to better themselves, not for the good of the team.

4. Ongoing turf wars. In the ideal professional world, all co-workers get along. But in reality, it’s not uncommon for colleagues to dislike each other. Arguments, rifts and mean-spirited rivalries may follow. And in the worst cases, dislike and rivalry can develop into a full-blown office war.

5. Pouting and yelling. Sometimes people engage in plain old-fashioned bad behavior. If not addressed, it can become chronic–and contagious.

6. Taking undue credit. Those with low self-esteem need to toot their own horn and take credit for work they didn’t do. The bottom line is that they hunger for recognition, but their behavior can quickly wreck even a strong team.

7. Misrepresented roles. Low self-esteem may also lead people to misrepresent their position or title. Without the faith it takes to risk working toward a better position, they instead pretend they’ve already arrived.

8. Frequent and senseless reorganizations. Sometimes people in leadership think that constant tinkering with an organization’s structure is the way to fix any issues. Unfortunately, the uncertainty of frequent restructuring actually makes problems worse.

9. High turnover. Happy, fulfilled employees don’t leave unless there’s a great opportunity or a compelling personal reason. If people are departing in droves, you’ve got a problem.

10. Undeserved promotions. When those who know how to play the game can work the system to get undeserved promotions, it builds resentment and decreases respect.

11. Being careless about quality. Quality is where excellence lies. An organization that compromises on quality jeopardizes everything it does.

12. Backbiting and backstabbing. The workplace isn’t high school. If you’re not getting along with someone, find a way to work it out. Any other response looks like–and is–immature behavior.

13. Gossiping and rumors. There is only one good approach to gossip: Do not allow it. Nothing good has ever happened from gossip and talking behind other people’s backs.

14. Favoritism and preferential treatment. Inequality is a quick path to discomfort and strife. Treat everyone the same way–specifically, the way you would want to be treated.

15. Bigotry and prejudice. Under no circumstances should bigotry be tolerated. Immediate action is the only proper response.

16. Hiring quotas. Quotas are a common practice but often not the best way to build a talented and committed diverse staff.

17. Refusing to establish procedures. Leadership that cannot initiate procedures cannot create progress.

18. Inflexibility in procedures. If a team’s allegiance is only to procedures, its members lose out on what really matters–the process and the people that make it work.

19. Failing to take initiative. Team members require self-motivation to step up in competitive situations. Without it, lethargy becomes the norm.

20. Listening only to what is said and not what is meant. Superficial communication makes everything more difficult. If team members aren’t attuned to each other enough to understand subtlety in their communication, not much is going to happen.

21. Breaking confidentiality. Nothing is every gained by violating confidentiality. Create a workplace where everyone is honor bound to keep confidential information to themselves–starting with the leadership.

22. Bullying and tyrannical behavior. Add these to the list of behaviors that should never be tolerated, no matter what the circumstances may be.

23. Low productivity. When some get away with pretending to work while in fact accomplishing very little, it subjects the entire team to stress–and resentment.

24. Disloyalty and undependability. People who are disloyal and undependable are detrimental to any team, company, or business. Both traits undermine the trust that is essential to a high-functioning team.

25. Confusion about goals. If team members don’t understand the distinction between what is good for them and what is good for the organization, it’s impossible to set clear goals.

26. Filtering bad news. How bad news is shared says a lot about an organization. Is it held back and filtered? Treated inappropriately? Or communicated with transparency and compassion?

27. Squandering time. A workplace where people squander time shows a lack of commitment to (and maybe even knowledge of) the mission.

28. Mistaking abusive behavior for toughness. Abusive behavior is neither tough nor justified, under any circumstances. It is a sign of weakness and never anything more.

29. Focusing on self instead of the greater good. Unhappy people focus on themselves; those who are fulfilled focus on the team.

30. Constant alibis. In a dysfunctional workplace, people lack the security to come and go as they need, so they’re constantly citing (and even inventing) reasons why they were late or absent.

31. Failing to confront. When no one confronts the things that need to be confronted, they grow in strength.

32. Excessive fear of change. Change happens whether we fear or embrace it. In an unhealthy workplace, people have difficulty dealing with change.

33. Perfectionism. An organization where people chase unattainable goals often suffers from paralysis. The focus needs to move to realistic expectations.

34. Smugness and conceit. The hallmarks of people who cannot think well of themselves, these traits make for a lot of unnecessary drama in the workplace.

35. Hubris and arrogance. However great someone is, ego edges greatness out. Period.

36. Shooting the messenger. In too many workplaces, those who deliver difficult truths are not rewarded but scapegoated. It’s a telling sign when those in charge can’t distinguish the message from the messenger.

37. Excessive delegation. When delegation is about covering up the incompetence of those in charge rather than an optimum workflow, it causes more problems than it solves.

38. Undue emphasis on speed. Quality should always be at the top of the list of priorities.

39. Lack of diversity. if you don’t have the diversity that leads people to hold and express different opinions, you’re missing out on a huge source of insight and ideas. Nobody learns anything in an echo chamber.

40. Emphasizing equal results instead of equal opportunity. It’s a matter of common sense to know which of these should be most important to a team.

41. Overpromising and underperforming. This costs the team in terms of credibility and, ultimately, morale.

42. Mismanaging the dysfunction. Dysfunction calls for careful, deliberate management, not more of the same. If you feed a monster, it will come back for more.

43.Paralysis by analysis. If you don’t move, you cannot succeed.

44. Unfriendliness and hostility. Those who fail to show respect are unlikely to ever receive it.

45. Reinventing the wheel. When work lacks a clear purpose based in a genuine need, a sense of futility becomes the norm.

46. Undue emphasis on results. Results are good, but sometimes how you get there is more important.

47. Inaccessibility and unavailability. When the leadership is unavailable, it serves to make everyone distrust, discouraged and disappointed.

48. Ascribing bad motives. When team members think the worst of each other, the atmosphere is likely the reason. Does it foster collaboration and cooperation, or unhealthy forms of competition?

49. Isolation. When team members all close themselves off from each other and retreat into their private spaces, they’re not really even a team any more.

50. Paranoia and suspicion. If you cannot trust, you cannot work.

If you recognize some of these dysfunctions do what you can to make your workplace more functional.

 

N A T I O N A L    B E S T S E L L E R

THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The post 50 Forms of Dysfunction in the Workplace appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

7 Warning Signs You’re In a Failing Relationship

Relationships are at the core of the most important things we do, not only as leaders but also as humans.

Relationships are how we form partnerships and families and organizations and communities.

All relationships–personal and professional–experience ups and downs. There are great times when you can almost read each other’s minds, followed by challenging periods when you seem to be miles apart. These variations happen even in healthy relationships too. But if things seem to be more down than up when you look at an important relationship in your life–whether it’s a colleague or a friend, a key employee or a business partner–you may start to wonder if something more serious is going on.

Here are some symptoms that should cause you concern, together with the preventive measures that can help you keep your relationships healthy:

1. Resentment. Resentment grows when someone feels unheard or dismissed. Left unchecked, it leads to bitterness and a smoldering anger that scorches everything around it. Communication goes from difficult to impossible and negativity is overwhelming. The best prevention is a combination of equity and communication. Make sure everything, from cash to household or office responsibilities, is handled fairly, and if there’s something on your mind or you’re feeling frustrated by a situation, talk about it.

2. Disrespect. Mutual respect is a cornerstone of all successful relationships. If you’re sensing disrespect, whether you’re giving it or receiving, you have a fundamental problem. It’s sometimes a case of never having learned how to disagree respectfully, and at other times a more serious or personal issue.

3. Dishonesty. An occasional lie is forgivable–and, depending on your moral outlook and the situation, sometimes even appropriate–but lies about serious matters, or a daily barrage of deception, are seriously harmful. Often a key to the source lies in asking yourselves what function the lies are playing. Is it to give an illusion of competence in some area, or to prop up a failing sense of self-respect? Once you understand why, you can find more positive ways to achieve the same end.

4. Mistrust. A single betrayal–or an act perceived as a betrayal–can wipe out a lifetime of trust. If trust is absent, again, ask why? Is it warranted, or is it coming from something unresolved in in a past relationship? If there has been a breach, is it too serious to be mended?

5. Distancing. If one or both partners is consistently tuning out, seeking distractions, and making a conscious effort to avoid making a connection, it may be that the bond between you has already been severed. People check out for all kinds of reasons–some temporary, others permanent.

6. Defensiveness. It’s not unusual to respond defensively when you’re challenged. Over time, defensiveness shifts into the “whatever” stage, which throws up a protective isolating barrier. Wherever the need for this protective stance originates, it prevents open communication and a meaningful relationship.

7. Contempt. The most serious possible sign; once a relationship is at this point, the odds of survival are low. It’s often a way of turning one’s own despised and unwanted feelings outward, so left alone it may recur in later relationships as well.

Think about the relationships that are important in your life and work, and ask yourself if they have any of these qualities. If so, you need to take action. It may mean a new focus on growing together in healthier ways, or more structured communication, or a change in the ground rules. You may need the assistance of a counselor to make things right–and you may end up needing to walk away. But with the right intervention and a commitment to success from both parties, you can end up with a newly strengthened partnership.

 

N A T I O N A L    B E S T S E L L E R

THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The post 7 Warning Signs You’re In a Failing Relationship appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

How to Conquer Your Bad Habits–Forever

Our habits: for good or for bad they’re with us every day, in the form of behavior that has become so routine that we repeat it unconsciously.

For some, habit means arriving at work to a well-planned day with everything they need to get started already in place; for others it means sorting through all the unfinished tasks they abandoned the evening before and trying to remember the priorities.

Simply put, a bad habit is an undesirable behavior pattern–and even the best of us have one or two.

Here’s the good news: The sooner you recognize your own bad habits, the easier it is to fix them. It’s a matter of overwriting the old imprint on your neural pathways with something more positive, and that happens through consistent repetition of the new behavior.

Research says that to break a habit and replace it with a new pattern takes 66 days. That may seem like a long time, but when you look at the big picture it’s not a bad price to pay for freedom from the ways you’re holding yourself back.

Get started now with these eight powerful techniques:

1. Commit to a goal. Many people think about breaking a habit, but on some level they’re not certain that they really want to change. It takes true commitment to a goal to create change. Failing to commit wholeheartedly means failing to succeed.

2. Understand the habit. In order to change something, you need to have awareness of yourself. Most habits are habits because they reward you on some level. Ask yourself how your habit rewards you, and how you can replace that reward with something healthier.

3. Make a plan. Studies show that having a clear, specific plan greatly increases your chances of successfully breaking a habit. It helps break down the unwanted behaviors and allows you to create new action plans to cope in various circumstances. Remember failing to plan–is planning to fail.

4. Visualize success. Repeatedly imagine yourself engaging in desired behaviors and enjoying their benefits. Imagine situations in which you would be tempted to engage in the undesired behavior and choose a better option. This positive visualization helps reinforce new behavior patterns.

5. Create barriers to the habit. If you can create obstacles that make the habit difficult or unpleasant, this can help you break the routines that have reinforced it in the past.

6. Start small. Some habits can be difficult to change because the solution seems so daunting. Start small and work to find success in those small steps, then increase them to meet your ultimate goal.

7. Be patient. When you’re working to change a habit, be patient and kind with yourself. It is a long and time-consuming process, and you have to give yourself the encouragement you need to stick with it.

8. Reward your successes. Because habits are created when a behavior is rewarded in some way, a great way to create new habits is to reward yourself for good behavior and do it in a way that makes you feel good.

Nothing is stronger than a habit. Motivation is what will get you started, and your determination will get you to break a bad habit forever.

 

N A T I O N A L    B E S T S E L L E R

THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The post How to Conquer Your Bad Habits–Forever appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

7 Toxic Thoughts That Are Sabotaging Your Success

Your thoughts are powerful. It may sound farfetched to say that what you believe will come true and what you think about will come to you.

But it’s not really such a stretch. Your thoughts are directly connected to your actions and therefore to your outcomes. That means they play a significant role in your success or failure.

Good thoughts give you confidence and empower you to act; negative thoughts can keep you quiet and hold you back.

Even successful people find the wrong thoughts can lead to derailed plans and stalled momentum, and they learn to steer clear of toxic zones. As you direct your own path away from unsupportive, harmful thinking toward positivity, here are six areas you definitely want to avoid:

1. The necessity of perfection. Anyone who thinks they must be perfect is setting themselves up for failure. When perfection is your goal, you will always be left with the feeling that you’re not measuring up, and in time you’ll come to see yourself as a failure. Everything you do creates your future, and it doesn’t have to be perfect to lead you toward success.

2. Not being good enough. Everyone at one time or another has moments of self-doubt. But if it becomes a constant state of mind or something that weaves through a lot of your thoughts–if you’re spending a lot of time thinking you’re not good enough, smart enough, talented enough, or skilled enough–you’re not taking responsibility for working on yourself to improve the value of what you have to offer. Successful people identify their strongest skills and talents and use them to reach their highest potential.

3. Comparing yourself with others. It’s a constant temptation, seeing how we measure up to others. But the reality is that everyone is different. No one else has your particular gifts and outlook, your particular background and challenges and interests, and you can’t learn anything about yourself by looking at others. Successful people know there’s no sense in comparing yourself to anyone else; instead, spend your time and energy creating the best possible version of yourself.

4. Needing to always be right. It feels good to be right. But the truth is we’re all sometimes wrong, and that’s OK. There are times we need to learn from our mistakes and maybe experience a little humility. Left unchecked, the need to be right can do a lot of damage: it can affect your relationships, your business and your leadership. Sometimes you’re right and sometimes you’re wrong. Remembering that and taking it all in stride helps us succeed–and it makes us better people.

5. Worrying about what other people think. People will always have opinions about you. Either they’ll believe in you or they won’t, but truly successful people understand that regardless of what other people think of them, they can do what it takes to succeed. They can take the bold steps and risky actions required for success. Don’t take other people’s opinions to heart, because who you are and what you can accomplish come from within.

6. Allowing the past to determine the future. If you think that who you were and what you did in the past will determine your future, think again. People grow and change direction. Who you were yesterday isn’t who you have to be tomorrow or even today. Even if you’ve failed in the past you can succeed in the future. Have the confidence to keep trying. Successful people don’t allow anything in their past to erode their ability to create a successful future, because they know life is full of second chances.

7. Believing your destiny is out of your hands. So many people feel that their fate is predestined. The truth is your destiny is something you can mold–the power lies within you, and allowing yourself to believe otherwise is just a way of not taking responsibility. Sometimes things will be difficult, sometimes things will be challenging, but at all times, you have the power to create your own success or failure. Your destiny is in your hands, heart and mind.

Instead of allowing your thoughts to sabotage you, treat them as you’d treat any powerful force: Use them responsibly for good, keep them out of harmful situations, and let them help serve you so you in turn can serve.

 

N A T I O N A L    B E S T S E L L E R

THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The post 7 Toxic Thoughts That Are Sabotaging Your Success appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

8 Conflicting Habits of Wildly Successful People

We know there are certain habits that the most successful people tend to share. But if you’re looking to emulate those habits, you’ve probably run up against an obstacle: they often seem to contradict each other. To achieve your own wild success, you need to understand how they all fit together.

Here are the eight most common sets of conflicting habits shared by successful people:

1. They’re mellow but they know how to be blunt. They understand that you can be mellow and speak plainly. You don’t always have to be loud to make your point; you can spend most of your time in quiet agreement, then speak your mind straight out when it’s important. If you’re always dialed up to the highest volume people will stop listening to you, but if you know when to say what, and how, people will listen.

2. They’re passionate but they know how to be objective. Many people believe that passionate people are by nature emotional, high-energy, frenzied people with one thing on their mind. That stereotype may be true in some cases, but successful people balance their passion with objectivity. They know how to be unbiased and pragmatic when they need to be. Even if their passion is second to none, they can detach if it will help bring their goals within reach.

3. They’re rational thinkers but rely on their intuitive mind. Most successful people are gifted rational thinkers. They are reasonable about what they want to accomplish, practical and process oriented. But they seem to consider their sixth sense a secret weapon–this instinct, this gut feelings that overrides any rational thought and once in a while holds the solution they need. Successful people make use of both sides of their thinking.

4. They have high energy but a calm demeanor. Show me a successful person and I’ll show you someone with vitality and vivacity, backed up with a calm drive and gentle ardor. It’s the combination that makes the successful truly successful. They have exuberance and strength, enthusiasm and pragmatism. Their energy is intense but always controlled and focused, never scattershot or frazzled.

5. They work hard and play hard. Unless you’re tremendously lucky, success requires hard work and long hours over many years of dedication and determination. You might think that wouldn’t leave time for anything else, but successful people know how to take breaks and regroup to keep their drive up. You won’t see them looking at their phone checking email when they’re on vacation or out with friends or spending time with their families. They let go so they can come back fresh and energized.

6. They’re introverts who come across as extroverts. How many times have you heard a truly successful person–one who’s constantly in the spotlight, who speaks in front of large crowds and leads thousands of people–say “Oh, I’m really an introvert”? Most successful people are introverts by nature who have taught themselves to act like extroverts when they need to. It makes sense; you need to be available and accessible, but you also need time to reflect and be mindful. Successful people seek the balance between the two extremes.

7. They may not speak much but they have a lot to say. If you observe people in groups, you’ve probably noticed that the smartest and most successful person in the room is often doing more listening than talking. It’s not they don’t have anything to say, but that they know they can learn more by listening. Most successful people have acquired a lot of wisdom on their journey and many of them are happy to share it. But they know that if they want to keep learning, they need to listen more than they speak.

8. They’re modest but proud. Taking pride in your work is important for success and achieving goals; it’s what drives people to do better and be more. But a proud person can also be humble. It takes a well-grounded person to strike the right balance. One thing to watch for is that successful people know that what they accomplished took a team. They don’t try to pretend they got where they are on their own, and this truth keeps them humble.

Ralph Waldo Emerson once wrote, “A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds.” As you work to develop your own style of leadership and success, learn to embrace your own contradictions and let them add depth and texture to everything you do.

 

N A T I O N A L    B E S T S E L L E R

THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The post 8 Conflicting Habits of Wildly Successful People appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

How to Give Yourself Permission to Be Happy

Happiness comes to those who choose to be happy, but many people wait needlessly for permission to be happy. Permission is nothing more than someone else’s approval–but as simple as it is, it keeps them from succeeding and being happy.

So this is a simple reminder.

No one can force you to be happy; no one can force you to do anything you don’t want to do. But permission starts with you.

Why not take the lead and give yourself permission.

1. Permission for acceptance. Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to give something else up, just that you a give yourself permission to be happy and to accept what is happening for you right now this moment. Acceptance says it may not be what you want it to be, but for now it’s OK. Happiness is a state of mind, not always a state of being. Happiness is when what you think, what you say and what you do are in harmony.

2. Permission to be imperfect. Let’s be honest–perfect isn’t real. if you want to be happy, embrace your imperfections. Nothing ever great comes from being perfect, because perfect actually doesn’t exist. Everything is complicated, messy and uncertain, and it’s up to us to make the best of what we have and find happiness in it. Don’t let perfectionism steal your happiness.

3. Permission to keep the blues in their place. Your emotions are a big part of who you are, but the blues can make everything gray. Don’t allow the blues to create your experiences; know that they are part of you, but not the full sum of who you are. Think positive thoughts and positive things will happen. Likewise, blue thoughts will permeate everything you do and think. Life only comes around once, so don’t stay stuck in the blues. Do things that make you happy and be with people who make you smile.

4. Permission to choose. Sometimes we get so caught up in pleasing others that we forget ourselves. The element of choosing for ourselves is a major source of happiness. Think of what you want and then make the right choices for you. Happiness is a conscious choice, not an automatic response.

5. Permission to try new things. If you are stuck in the same old routine and you’re looking for a way to shift, it starts with giving yourself permission to try something new. We are all so scared of doing anything we are not familiar with, and the last thing we want is to do something we might fail at. And it’s true, you may not excel–at first, anyway–but if you don’t try you’re cutting yourself off from things that can make you happy.

6. Permission to take a chance. The chances we get are not always the ones we want. But to scale the ladder of happiness you have to give yourself permission to take chances, to welcome risks, to go to the edge of your discomfort zone where you normally wouldn’t go. And when you do, the rewards can increase tremendously. Don’t be afraid to give yourself everything you always wanted.

7. Permission to take action. Many people assume happiness is mostly a matter of inborn temperament. We are born happy, but once we’re grown and out in the world we discover that true happiness comes from taking the steps to be happy. The happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything.

What permission are you waiting for? What can you free yourself to do right now?

 

N A T I O N A L    B E S T S E L L E R

THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The post How to Give Yourself Permission to Be Happy appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

The Best Advice You Need When Starting a New Job

So, you finally got the job you wanted. Congratulations! Now you’re faced with a new set of challenges as you make the transition to a new job, a new environment, new co-workers. It can all be a little overwhelming. Here are some tips to make sure you hit the ground running and set the stage for success.

1. Be ready the night before. Prep for anything that may stress you out your first morning. Drive the route to work ahead of time to make sure you know how long it will take and where to park. Lay out your clothes, all the way down to your shoes, and make sure there are no surprise stains or tears. Choose an outfit that makes you feel confident and assured and that fits the culture of your new workplace. Pack your bag and make sure you have everything you need.

2. Be punctual. From the very first day, establish yourself as someone who’s always on time. Better yet, be early–and, at least the first couple of weeks, stay late. There’s much more to the job than putting in time, but being seen as someone who values time and is willing to work hard is a good first impression.

3. Be friendly. From the first day–the first minute–be nice to everyone. Even if you’re naturally shy, come out of your shell and introduce yourself to people. Ask lots of questions; be friendly and interested but don’t participate in gossip or negativity. Be inclusive–get to know the work group down the hall, the clerical staff, the cleaning people. Take notes to help you remember people’s names if you need to.

4. Get schooled. If your company offers an orientation or training program, try to pay attention–or at least look attentive. It may not be the most interesting content, but try to get us much as you can from the experience.

5. Meet the bureaucracy. On your first day, it’s likely that no one will have expectations of you getting much actual work done. You’ll spend most if not all your time getting an ID card and parking permit, setting up credentials for internet access, and filling out a mountain of forms.

6. Don’t expect a lot of attention. On your first day, don’t fret if you feel like a new kid at school who doesn’t know anybody on the playground. Even with the friendliest of people, it will take some time before you feel like part of the group.

7. Learn the logistics. Another big task the first few days is figuring out the lay of the land. You’ll need to find the restroom and break room, find out how to get office supplies, and discover which doors go where.

8. Keep your eyes open. You want to be observant the first few days and even weeks to learn the culture. What are the unwritten rules? Is the atmosphere serious or light? How do people dress? How are meetings conducted, and how do people communicate? Is it common practice to take work home? What do most people do at lunch? How do people treat each other?

9. Seek out the risers. Be friendly with everybody, but if you can ally yourself with some of the people who are on their way up in the organization–not those who are already there, but the ones with great potential who are starting to achieve–you will be most likely to join their ranks.

10. Get comfortable with your boss. Keep working to make a good impression, but make the transition from the formality of interviewing and hiring to a day-to-day relationship. Get a feel for their management style and ask questions when you need to.

11. Read up. If there’s not a lot to do while your workload is ramping up, spend time reading everything useful you can get your hands on: old documents, marketing and business plans, competitive analysis, the organization’s full website. Learn the names of senior staff and board members.

12. Bring your best. Expectations are probably going to be low as you get up to speed, but do your best and fastest work when a task does come your way. Ask for feedback and take criticism well, making any changes you need immediately.

13. Don’t run out of things to do. If you’ve read every background document you can find and your workload is still low, offer to help out with other people’s projects. Even if that means running the copier or another task that seems menial, do it in good spirit. That’s how good working relationships are built.

14. Never say no to help. Never refuse offers of help. NEVER. Be grateful; have a learner’s heart and a beginner’s mind. In the same vein, never interrupt someone who’s giving you advice–even if it’s something you’ve known for years. Smile, nod and be gracious. You can always ignore it at your leisure, but don’t be rude.

15. Start building good habits. As you start to build new systems for processing information, responding to requests, keeping track of projects and time, work to also build the habits of upkeep that will make those systems work.

If you spend the first week showing people that you care enough to get to know them, learn their practices and processes, listen and work hard, you’re off to a great start. Then all you have to do is keep the momentum going.

 

N A T I O N A L    B E S T S E L L E R

THE LEADERSHIP GAP
What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The post The Best Advice You Need When Starting a New Job appeared first on Lolly Daskal.