Lolly Daskal's Blog, page 89

How to Think on Your Feet When You’re Speaking Under Pressure

Anyone in any kind of leadership position needs to master the skill of adept thought and speech in stressful high-pressure circumstances. In my work as an executive leadership coach with clients that include top leaders around the world, it’s an area I’m asked about often.

Here are some tips and tactics to help you think on your feet. The secret is to be prepared: learn and practice a set of skills you can rely on in situations that put you under pressure.

Repeat what you just heard. One of the hardest parts of contributing to a conversation is answering a direct question, especially when you can’t honestly give the expected answer. Allow yourself to pause and think; don’t feel that you need to fill the space with words right away. A tentative or uncertain reply won’t help your case. To calm your nerves and buy yourself a little time, simply repeat the question that was asked. As an added benefit, you can double-check your understanding of the question.

Always be thoroughly prepared. Plenty of highly intelligent people aren’t good at speaking spontaneously, but with enough preparation you can still be brilliant. Learn every fact and figure, every prominent person in your field and their perspective, the background of the issue. A prepared mind is a smart mind.

Learn to organize your thoughts. Constantly ask yourself the following questions: What do I not understand which could be better clarified? What question could I ask that would advance the discussion? What perspective or insight do I have that’s shareable? Don’t worry about being the smartest—sometimes it’s best to be the most organized and effective.

Ask for clarification. Asking for clarity will compel those who are speaking to be more specific. Don’t give cause for your query to be interpreted as a challenge, but keep it neutral: “When you say X, can you please clarify. . . .”

Project confidence. Adept thinking in the moment boils down to self-confidence. Speak in a strong voice, make lots of eye contact, and keep your tone and body language positive. Remind yourself how much you know about your job, your organization and your industry, and how many people you work with successfully.

Summarize and stop. Wrap up lengthy responses with a quick summary statement. After that, resist adding anything more.  Be silent. Pause and allow people to fill the silent spaces. They’re absorbing the information you just presented, and speaking during that time can cause confusion.

Lead from within: When you have to think on your feet and you want to sound smart, make use of the tips to help alleviate the pressure.

 

N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

The post How to Think on Your Feet When You’re Speaking Under Pressure appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

6 Things Leaders Hate Doing but Need to Do Anyway

As an executive leadership coach, I work firsthand with a wide range of leaders, which gives me a good perspective on the things they have in common. Here are six things that virtually every leader I’ve ever worked with does regularly, even though they thoroughly dislike them. If you’re trying to skate by these (or other important things you don’t enjoy), get in the habit of doing them anyway.

Being vulnerable. Three decades ago, I came up with the phrase Vulnerable is the new strong. Many of my coaching clients disagreed and argued that vulnerability is in fact weakness. I thought then, and still do, that if you show vulnerability, people will respect you more, honor you more and relate to you more. I’m glad to say that most of those who reluctantly went along later came around to agreeing with me.

Managing. Most leaders want to be the visionary, the one who thinks up the great ideas. Nobody wants to manage the visions through implementation. But the truth is, you cannot become an excellent leader without also knowing how to be an excellent manager. Any leader who is not a good manager risks having their vision and their team compromised by the mismanagement of others.

Giving feedback. Sharing constructive criticism is a big part of being a leader. If you can’t help people rethink what they’re doing, you’re not truly leading them. People need feedback—they need to know if what they are doing is right or if they need correction. Feedback is a valuable tool that provides direction. Given the right way, it becomes a gift.

Admitting to mistakes. All great leaders make mistakes along the way, but not many want to admit it. It takes a lot of coaching for some leaders to be able admit when they’re wrong, but the power of admitting to your mistakes is the power of your influence as a leader.

Exercising self-restraint. I’ve seen leaders who wanted to have a go at their team, their board, their stakeholders—to tell them all what they think and how they feel. But I always coach leaders not to mix bad words with a bad mood. You’ll have many opportunities to change your mood, but you can never replace the words you speak. So even if you hate it, learn self-restraint when it comes to your emotions and make sure the words you speak are intentional and thoughtful.

Failing. Leaders aren’t perfect; they have weaknesses, shortcomings and failures from time to time. Nobody likes failing. Period. Leaders, in particular, want to be known as winners. But most leaders will tell you that even though they hate failing they continue to take risks, because some of their greatest achievements, most memorable growth and most effective improvements have come from their failures.

Lead from within: There will be many things you don’t want to do as a leader. Do them anyway.

 

N A T I O N A L    B E S T S E L L E R

The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: iStockphotos

The post 6 Things Leaders Hate Doing but Need to Do Anyway appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

This Is What Really Happens When You Lead

Leadership is a topic people love to debate and discuss, and as an executive leadership coach I’m constantly engaged in conversations and answering questions about leadership.

One of the most common misconceptions is that leadership means prestige and power. But the reality is a lot more gritty, and a lot more interesting. Here are some fundamental truths about leadership:

If it was all about you before, now it’s all about them. Every successful leader depends on a community working toward a common goal. Coming together is a beginning, keeping together is progress; working together is where success follows.

If you liked doing all the talking before, now you have to do all the listening. As a leader, speaking your mind is less important than listening to what others are saying. People in the room need to be heard and understood and recognized as an essential part of the organization.

If you were afraid of failure before, now you treat is as a natural occurrence. The best leaders don’t view their failures as weaknesses but as lessons on how to do better next time. They model a positive view of failure so their team stays bold and willing to try risky things.

If you were busy before, now you’re really swamped. There’s always something to do or say or think about. It can be hard to even find a moment for reflection. But if you want to succeed as a leader, learn how to carve out some time for yourself to avoid burning out.

If you thought you knew what pressure was before, now you know how forceful it can be. The best leaders cultivate the ability to stay calm and unhurried when pressure builds so their judgment doesn’t suffer. As the old saying goes, you can measure a leader’s character by the choices they make under pressure.

If you hated risk before, now it’s second nature. In a world where the pace of change grows faster every day, the biggest risk for leaders is not being bold enough to take any risks—the only strategy that’s guaranteed to fail.

If you disliked meetings before, now your life may become one long meeting. Remember that fewer meetings means more doing, and try to replace as many meetings as you can with other forms of communication. In truth, people who enjoy meetings should not be in charge of anything.

 If you liked keeping to yourself before, now you have to be visible and accessible everywhere to everyone. As a coach, I have seen countless introverts struggle with this truth. But whether being around others wears you out or is energizes you, you have to be out there with your team where they can see you and learn from you. People must be able to see you and connect with you for them to be successful.

If you thought it was all about the strategy before, now you realize it’s really all about the relationships. Great leaders know that strategy is important, but what’s more important is the people who execute the strategy and the relationships that build strong teams.

If you thought competency was important before, now you realize character carries more weight. Competencies are important, but they can only take you so far. Help people develop their character into one that will uphold the highest standards for hard work and integrity.

Leadership may be hard to define and good leadership even harder, but if you can get people to follow you to the ends of the earth, rest assured—you are a great leader.

Lead from within: Before you become a leader success is all about growing yourself; after, it’s all about growing others.

 

N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The post This Is What Really Happens When You Lead appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

How to Dramatically Increase Your Influence as a Leader

Ultimately, all leadership is about influence. It’s the single most important factor in your impact.

So how do you create influence? It begins with self-improvement—making an investment in your own abilities and adaptability—a commitment to keep growing and learning. That example is one of the most influential things you can practice. Here are some other ways to dramatically increase your influence with your people.

Provide opportunities for wins. Create circumstances that give your people a series of small wins that will magnify their potential. When challenges are mastered and opportunities turn into wins, people admire the leader who has helped them stretch.

Believe in your people. There is no greater empowerment and support you can give someone than to look them in the eye and with sincerity and conviction say, “I believe in you.” When you believe in someone, they can achieve the impossible.

Serve others before yourself. The best use of your time and leadership is to lose yourself in the service of others. You are what you do, not what you say you’ll do. The growth and development of people represent the highest calling of leadership.

Give trust so you can earn trust. Experienced leaders know that the best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them first. Trust is the glue of leadership, the foundational principle that holds all relationships together. Teamwork builds trust and trust builds growth.

Think bigger for others—even bigger than they think of themselves. There is no more noble occupation in the world than to help another human being succeed. Leaders make their people better, helping them to go higher than they could have by themselves.

Truly connect with people. Leaders are responsible for connecting with their people and relating to them in a way that increases their own influence. When you can connect with people, you can begin to form relationships—and relationships are the basis of influence.

Invest in the success of others.  The more you invest in people and lift them toward their potential, the more likely they are to view you as their leader. Leadership is not about titles, positions or flow charts but one life influencing another. True leaders bring out the personal best in those around them.

Extend honor to receive respect. Influence doesn’t come to us instantaneously; it increases gradually. It grows as we purposefully take action by extending honor and receiving respect from others in return.

Lead with character. It’s long been said that you want to test someone’s character, give them power. Leading with character means doing what’s right, however hard it is. Example is not the main thing in influencing others—it is the only thing. People will follow you when you exhibit strong character and integrity.

Lift people up. Always show kindness and attention to others. Your words might be filling the empty places in someone’s heart. It does not matter who is assigned to your team; what matters is who they will become because of you.

Lead with authority but allow autonomy. The key to successful leadership is influence, not authority. Leaders must be close enough to relate to others but far enough ahead to motivate them. If you truly want people to respect you as a leader, you must prove to them they can survive and thrive even without you.

Lead from within: Leaders should influence others in such a way that it builds people up, encourages and edifies them so they can duplicate this attitude in others.

 

 

N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: iStock Photos

The post How to Dramatically Increase Your Influence as a Leader appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

This is How Great Leaders Develop Successful People

There are many things successful people have in common. Some are more important than others, but one is nearly universal: at some point a leader believed in their greatness.

Great leaders inspire greatness in others. They create an environment in which people are able to expand and evolve, with the support and encouragement to become successful in whatever they pursue.

So how can you develop others for greatness? Here are the core attributes:

Act out of caring instead of self-serving motives. Great leaders approach relationships first on an emotional level and second on an intellectual level. The difference is important. People may say they care, but it means nothing until they show it. Without a sense of caring, there can be no sense of success.

Teach (and model) how to manage emotions. Many great leaders exemplify the idea that mental strength does not mean the absence of emotion. It means being aware of their emotions but being strong enough to manage them in the face of unavoidable discomfort and challenge. They help those around them learn how to manage the ups and downs well.

Show how to make failures part of success. Great leaders teach that successful people aren’t born but made, through all kinds of experiences, and that studying failure and learning from it is a key feature of all successful people.

Encourage imperfection. Great leaders know you don’t have to be perfect to inspire others. They inspire people with the way in which they deal with their own imperfections—they accommodate and work around and focus on what they can accomplish.

Provide a safety net. Great leaders encourage others to try new ideas without fear of repercussion or punishment if they don’t work out. They know the more you try the more you’ll succeed, because calculated risks can pay off in the long run. The very best leaders encourage their people to take every risk and drop every fear, because only those who are willing to risk going too far can find out how far they can go.

Stick to your commitments. Great leaders know the strength of being responsible and keeping their word. If they tell someone they’ll do something, they do it. They’re honest about their limits; they understand that when people fail it’s most often not because of a lack of desire but a lack of commitment.

Hold high standards. Great leaders set high standards for themselves. They lead by example, knowing that a demonstration of character is the best way to lead others to develop their own high standards and work ethic.

Lead from within: One of the most important ingredients in the formula for success is having a great leader stand alongside you, believing in you, supporting you, guiding you. Commit now to becoming that great leader for your people.

 

 

N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: iStockphotos

The post This is How Great Leaders Develop Successful People  appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

The 2 Rare Skills You Need to Be A Great Leader

At some time or another, most of us have experienced a boss, manager, or leader who made us feel recognized and valued. And as a result, we were able to do more than we ever thought we could.

More than anything else, that’s the sign of a true leader—someone who makes you feel, think, act beyond the limits you imagined to your own capabilities and capacity. What’s more, they make you feel you are valued and that you’re part of something bigger than yourself.

What skills do these leaders have that allow them to help others become their best? Fundamentally, there are only two. Even the first is far from common on its own, and because the second builds on the first, it’s especially rare.

But here’s the good news: rare as they are, they’re attainable. You can learn them and practice them and master them, and go on to help and empower others to exceed their self-imposed limits.

First, great leaders have a strong foundation of self-awareness. All great leaders draw strength from a well-built foundation of self-awareness. To lead from within requires a comprehensive understanding of yourself. That includes the ability to identify your own strengths and weaknesses—in terms of skills, which you can leverage by hiring people who make up for your weak spots, and also in terms of emotional triggers. Managing these triggers  requires a high level of emotional awareness, plus the knowledge of how to be adaptable and the willingness to alter your behavior to be an effective leader. You have permission to be human—that is, sometimes flawed and vulnerable—but you must never allow inner turmoil to wreak havoc upon those you lead.

True leaders understand that their attitudes toward themselves set the tone to which others respond.

Second, they have the single-mindedness to instill power within others. It’s one thing to understand yourself and to be aware of who you are. But the highest leadership quality is knowing how to empower others. A true leader is able to inspire their team, to encourage them to go beyond excellence and accomplish far more than anyone expects of them—or than they expect of themselves. A good leader may take people where they want to go, but a great leader takes them where they don’t necessarily want to go but ought to be.

A true leader doesn’t create more followers; they create more leaders.

A good leader may ask, “Is this working for me?” But a great leader will ask, “Is this working for my people?”

Great leaders can change the world, but first they must learn to lead from within. It’s only after they’ve developed that level of self-awareness that they can they lead and others to greatness.

Lead from within: Leaders become great when they are able to find their inner power and use it to inspire, strengthen and empower others.

 

 

N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

Photo Credit: iStock Photos

The post The 2 Rare Skills You Need to Be A Great Leader appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

The 2 Rare Skills You Need to Be A True Leader

At some time or another, most of us have experienced a boss, manager, or leader who made us feel recognized and valued. And as a result, we were able to do more than we ever thought we could.

More than anything else, that’s the sign of a true leader—someone who makes you feel, think, act beyond the limits you imagined to your own capabilities and capacity. What’s more, they make you feel you are valued and that you’re part of something bigger than yourself.

What skills do these leaders have that allow them to help others become their best? Fundamentally, there are only two. Even the first is far from common on its own, and because the second builds on the first, it’s especially rare.

But here’s the good news: rare as they are, they’re attainable. You can learn them and practice them and master them, and go on to help and empower others to exceed their self-imposed limits.

First, great leaders have a strong foundation of self-awareness. All great leaders draw strength from a well-built foundation of self-awareness. To lead from within requires a comprehensive understanding of yourself. That includes the ability to identify your own strengths and weaknesses—in terms of skills, which you can leverage by hiring people who make up for your weak spots, and also in terms of emotional triggers. Managing these triggers  requires a high level of emotional awareness, plus the knowledge of how to be adaptable and the willingness to alter your behavior to be an effective leader. You have permission to be human—that is, sometimes flawed and vulnerable—but you must never allow inner turmoil to wreak havoc upon those you lead.

True leaders understand that their attitudes toward themselves set the tone to which others respond.

Second, they have the single-mindedness to instill power within others. It’s one thing to understand yourself and to be aware of who you are. But the highest leadership quality is knowing how to empower others. A true leader is able to inspire their team, to encourage them to go beyond excellence and accomplish far more than anyone expects of them—or than they expect of themselves. A good leader may take people where they want to go, but a great leader takes them where they don’t necessarily want to go but ought to be.

A true leader doesn’t create more followers; they create more leaders.

A good leader may ask, “Is this working for me?” But a great leader will ask, “Is this working for my people?”

Great leaders can change the world, but first they must learn to lead from within. It’s only after they’ve developed that level of self-awareness that they can they lead and others to greatness.

Lead from within: Leaders become great when they are able to find their inner power and use it to inspire, strengthen and empower others.

 

 

N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

Photo Credit: iStock Photos

The post The 2 Rare Skills You Need to Be A True Leader appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

7 Ways to Be a More Effective Leader

The business environment has never been more demanding than it is right now. Factors that would have been exceptional not long ago—global competition, turbulent markets, demanding shareholders and customers, and constantly changing technology—are an everyday fact of life.

More than ever, successful organizations depend on the quality of their leadership. And successful leadership depends on broad-strokes preparation based on principles you can apply in any situation, however volatile.

Here are some foundational principles that will make you a more effective leader:

Be both flexible and resolute. To be an effective leader, you have to learn to balance being unbending and being adaptable. Great leaders know how to go with the flow without losing direction, moving their organization forward with resiliency and alertness.

Delegate but don’t be demanding. Too many leaders feel they need to control every little thing. Allow others to do their job and do it well. When you delegate wisely and often, you’re developing leadership skills, confidence and trust within your team.

Set direction but make it compelling. Every employee needs some degree of direction. Set specific and measurable goals with your employees, then regularly monitor their progress against their own goals as well as their contribution toward organizational goals.

Communicate with honesty and clarity. Many leaders don’t communicate clearly enough or often enough. Make the effort to inform, report, and communicate concisely so people are free to work without information gaps.

Be accessible and available. At its core, your leadership is all about your people. When someone needs you, it’s time to look up, make eye contact, set aside your work and your phone and any other distractions, and focus on the person standing in front of you.

Don’t just solve problems, create lasting solutions. There will always be problems, and there will always be a need for leaders who can create timely solutions that endure. Too many leaders settle for quick fixes that often cause bigger problems down the road. Focus on healing the cause of the problem instead of treating the symptoms.

Consistently recognize the achievements of others.  Every employee wants to do a good job. And when they do, they want recognition from their leader. The simple act of recognizing and rewarding employees for a job well done is enough to set you apart as a leader.

Lead From Within: If you want to grow into a truly effective leader, start today to cultivate these skills. Then, when the time comes, you’ll be prepared to steer your company and people in the right direction.

 

 

N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: Getty Images

The post 7 Ways to Be a More Effective Leader appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

Avoid These 7 Phrases When You Are Giving Feedback

Giving feedback is never easy, especially if the feedback isn’t entirely positive.

The job of a great leader, manager and boss is to give feedback in a way that comes across as a gift—something useful, not something that makes the recipient feel bad about who they are and what they do.

There are some phrases that are almost guaranteed to carry a lot of negativity no matter how well-intended they may be, and you should absolutely avoid them if you don’t want to be misunderstood. Here are some of the most common:

“If only you . . . ” Using “if only” in any feedback conversation will shut down the recipient’s ability to hear anything that follows. There’s no good place for that phrase to go—“If only you were better,” “If only you were smarter”—and it can never convey anything positive.

“To be honest . . . ” These words are rarely a good idea—those who have to protest their own honesty are often hiding something. But it’s an especially unwelcome phrase during a review. When giving feedback, allow the conversation to come from a place of natural honesty and trust.

“No offense . . . ” This phrase is another one that’s worth eliminating in every situation, not just when you’re giving feedback. As soon as you say “no offense,” your listener knows you’re about to say something offensive.

“You should . . .” how many times have you heard the phrase “you should” and thought to yourself something like “I would if I could, but I can’t so I don’t.” It’s nearly impossible to use you use “you should” without implying judgment. Provide concrete feedback and allow people to come to their own conclusions about what action they should take.

“If I were you . . . ” Bottom line: you’re not. So unless you’re directly asked, “How would you handle this?” it’s best to keep this opinion to yourself.

“Try to be more like . . . ” Comparing people doesn’t make anyone feel good, and it doesn’t achieve the results you want to see. Define the problem by sharing clear details rather than comparing one person to another.

“If you want to succeed . . .” Success looks different to everyone, and this phrase may be seen as threatening, especially if you’re giving feedback for development and growth.

Work to avoid these phrases to help keep your feedback effective. Be clear, be detailed, and be kind, and your feedback will most likely be received in the supportive manner in which you offer it.

Lead from within: When feedback is given well, it shouldn’t alienate the receiver but should motivate them to perform better and be better.

 

 

N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: iStock Photos

The post Avoid These 7 Phrases When You Are Giving Feedback appeared first on Lolly Daskal.

The Best Way to Offer An Opinion On Anything

Giving an opinion is a common way of interacting with other people in formal and informal settings. Unsolicited opinions may be unwelcome, but most leaders find themselves being asked to express an opinion fairly often—and those with a reputation for wisdom are asked constantly.

Leaders are asked opinions about all kinds of things, from day-to-day affairs What should we do about this situation? What’s the best way to handle this difficult client? Does this person look like a good hire? to strategy and tactics (How aggressively do we want to pursue growth? How can we best achieve our goals? Does our mission statement need to be updated?) and even broader concerns (How will the current political climate affect our ability to serve our clients? What industry-related lobbying should we consider?).

If you want to give your opinion and you want to be heard, you must follow these principles:

First, make sure that the situation warrants an opinion. There are many cases where silence is the wiser path.

Ask yourself if you’re the best person for the job. People will always come to leaders for an opinion, but there may be someone else on your team—or even in another area or organization—who’s better qualified to respond. In those cases, you build more personal credibility by recommending someone else than by giving your own opinion.

Start by listening politely. Before you express your opinion make sure to listen. You’ll know exactly what’s being asked of you, you may learn more about the issue in the process, and the person doing the asking will be more engaged and receptive.

Think before you speak. Before you open your mouth to say something, take a step back and think through exactly what you’re going to say. Consider your tone and make sure your word choices leave as little room as possible for misunderstanding or trouble. Maintain a professional demeanor and be mindful of your body language.

Make sure you have all the facts. Everyone has the right to express their opinion, but make sure to do your research and know the facts first. The more you know, the more you can put into words what you mean to say.

Say what you think in a detailed, straightforward manner. Provide as many relevant specifics as possible when you give an opinion to ensure that people fully understand your point of view. Focus on the who, what, when, and where of the situation to make a detailed statement of your opinion.

Use “I” statements. “I” statements are powerful because they promote connection and don’t make the others feel alienated or excluded. People often state opinions in a way that makes them sound like facts—a habit that puts off the people they’re trying to persuade. A simple preface like “I think…” or “In my experience…” can be all you need.

Provide the reasons for your point of view. Provide reasons and build a case to support your point of view. Your opinion gains credibility when it’s backed up with solid data.

Some phrases to consider using:

In my opinion…

From my point of view…

I would say…

My impression is…

I think…

Speaking personally…

I am of the opinion that ….

Lead from within: Everyone has their own ways of expressing their opinions and we all have something to say, but finding ways to say it effectively is half the battle.

 

 

N A T I O N A L   B E S T S E L L E R

The Leadership Gap: What Gets Between You and Your Greatness

After decades of coaching powerful executives around the world, Lolly Daskal has observed that leaders rise to their positions relying on a specific set of values and traits. But in time, every executive reaches a point when their performance suffers and failure persists. Very few understand why or how to prevent it.

buy now

 

Additional Reading you might enjoy:

12 Successful Leadership Principles That Never Grow Old
A Leadership Manifesto: A Guide To Greatness
How to Succeed as A New Leader
12 of The Most Common Lies Leaders Tell Themselves
4 Proven Reasons Why Intuitive Leaders Make Great Leaders
The One Quality Every Leader Needs To Succeed
The Deception Trap of Leadership

 

Photo Credit: iStockPhotos

The post The Best Way to Offer An Opinion On Anything appeared first on Lolly Daskal.