Eric Barker's Blog, page 2

This Is How To Save Money On Travel: 6 Expert Tips

Travel is wonderful. It promises enlightenment, new experiences, and the smug satisfaction of saying, “Well, when I was in Portugal…”

But traveling these days feels a bit like being punched in the wallet. Modern airlines use a combination of arcane rituals, machine learning, and revenge to set prices. There’s a fee for everything short of blinking. Seat reservation? Extra. Cabin baggage? Extra. Want to sit next to the person you love? Better love them from row 32.

You suddenly realize that you...

How To Overcome Negative Thoughts: 4 Secrets From Philosophy

We’ve all got that voice in our heads. The internal heckler perched in your skull’s cheap seats, shouting things like “You’re not good enough,” or “Why are you even trying?” (My internal voice sounds like a mix between my fifth-grade gym teacher and one of those scary moms from a reality show about cheerleading.)

This voice narrates our lives like it’s Ken Burns in a documentary about self-doubt. It’s not helpful. But we listen. We always listen. So what’s to be done?

Let’s look in a less-than...

This Is How To Have A Resilient Family: 13 Secrets From Research

If you’ve never been in a family crisis, congratulations. You are either:

an orphan,lying,due.

And by crisis, I mean full-on, real-deal adversity. Divorce, grief, bankruptcy, etc. The life-wrecking, soul-scraping, “somebody go ahead and unplug me because I cannot” kind of crisis. You’re trying to cobble together some kind of Norman Rockwell-with-an-iPad situation while it feels like the world is burning. Just doing anything you can so your therapist doesn’t write “escalating” in the margin...

How To Negotiate Like An Expert: 7 Secrets From Research

Some say negotiation is an art. But often it feels like spiritual erosion.

What should be a simple matter of mutual agreement instead dissolves into a maddeningly performative exchange where no one says what they mean and everyone suspects they’re being cheated. And the worst part? It’s EVERYWHERE:

Asking your boss for a raise? You have to justify it like you’re applying for parole.Negotiating the purchase of an automobile contains more conflict than most UFC matches.Then there’s the domest...

My bestseller “Plays Well With Others” is now available in paperback!

My bestseller Plays Well With Others is now available in paperback!

It’s lighter, cheaper, and comes with all the brutal, hilarious truths of the hardcover edition — just now in a floppier, more affordable format.

Get your copy here.

Let’s face it: hardcovers are the uptight snobs of the book world. They’re thick, heavy, and full of the smug energy of someone who insists you say “croissant” with a French accent. And can we talk about dust jackets? It’s the book equivalent of wearing a toupee.

...

This Is How To Make Emotionally Intelligent Friendships: 7 Secrets

We need to connect deeply to have good relationships. To build trust. To reduce conflict. To influence others and help them make positive change.

But to be emotionally understood by someone else — or the reverse — isn’t just uncommon. It’s practically arcane, like alchemy or finding good tomatoes out of season. It’s rarer than a humble influencer. We try, but often we’re like the adults in a Peanuts cartoon. Wah-wah-wah.

What’s truly maddening is that this entire ordeal is treated like somethi...

This Is How To Increase Self-Esteem: 4 Secrets From Research

There are days when you feel like you can do anything. And then there are other days…

Days where your self-esteem is playing hide and seek, and let’s just say it’s really good at hiding. You’re looking for it like, “Come out, come out, wherever you are,” and it’s under the bed, snickering and reading old issues of “Inadequate Weekly.”

We hear a lot about how to increase self-esteem. Unfortunately, most of that stuff should be filed under “Hooey and Nonsense.”

No, repeating “I am a strong, conf...

This Is How To Feel Better And Achieve Your Goals: 4 Secrets From Research

We all reach a point where we feel hopeless. Your inner monologue sounds like a rejected Alanis Morissette lyric and any level of optimism you possessed is now playing varsity level hide and seek. You’re Cinderella’s ugly stepsister in this fairy tale, and those shoes were never meant for you.

You could use a little hope. Yeah, the thing people love to tattoo in cursive on their ribcage next to a butterfly. It’s the kind of word that feels like it should come pre-packaged with a glitter pen.

H...

How To Become An Expert At Anything: 5 Scientific Steps To Mastery

Here’s the problem with advice about becoming an expert: it’s almost always junk. It’s not just that the advice itself is bad, it’s that it’s somehow both incredibly vague and aggressively overconfident:

“Practice makes perfect!” Oooh, it’s got that motivational poster energy “Embrace failure.” Look, I’ve embraced failure so many times we’re in a common-law marriage.“Just start!” Another winner. Just start. Really?

Here’s the thing: there’s a whole field of legitimate research dedicated to ...

Ancient Wisdom Reveals 6 Secrets To A Long Awesome Life

The thing about aging is that it’s sneaky. It doesn’t just show up one day, wearing a T-shirt that says, “I’m here to ruin your life.” No, it’s more subtle, like a ninja with joint pain.

But that doesn’t mean it’s the graceful, Helen Mirren-in-a-L’Oréal-ad kind of aging. You used to wake up with a song in your heart. Now you wake up with acid reflux. Your bladder is the size of a shot glass and your body has decided, without consulting you, that anything past the hour of ten is an act of sedit...