Chloe M. Gooden's Blog, page 4

5 Reasons Why He Can't Commit To You

Will you marry me? Can we make this official? I want to be with you and only you. These are phrases we hope to hear from a one true love one day in our lifetime. It's the reason why we date. It's the reason why we get up everyday and put on our best make-up and attire. The one thing we hope to attain but sometimes feel it is impossible ; commitment from a man. As women, we seem to think we know immediately who we want to be with and are anxious to get in a relationship to feel wanted, accepted, and cherished. As soon as we begin to date a potential mate, we immediately think towards the future and try to figure out what we have to do to go from dating to a potential marriage. But men aren't built this way. Though some desire commitment just as women do, they take their time to make this decision and are wired to ensure they are making the right decision. As women, we go off of our feelings and are naturally loyal. No matter what is going on in our lives we feel we can make time to be in a relationship. But men aren't this easily swayed into a relationship. Every man has their different reasonings behind why they don't want a relationship. Some are legit, while others are just excuses. But for those who truly have a good heart, and want to do the right thing, they sometimes avoid commitment simply to save you.

1 Corinthians 13:4 "Love is patient, love is kind....."
1. He Doesn't Know Who He Is

In relationships men are expected to be the leader; the provider. In the world they are expected to be confident, mature, and have a lot of pressure to conform to society's expectations. Many guys are trying to figure out who they are and also who they desire to be. They are unsure of what life they want to create and don't want to involve a woman in this process. Why? Because he doesn't want to lock someone down, and he isn't even sure if you are what he wants long term. How can he know if you are the one for him if he is unsure of who he is? Let him find out who he is and be patient. You would rather commit to someone who is secure in who he is so you can be secure in the relationship.

2. How Can He Be Something He Has Never Seen?

A man can only be taught how to be a man, by a man. Point blank. Regardless of what  the mother does, he will still need some type of father figure in his life to teach him how to be a man. If this man is fatherless he is still trying to figure out what it means to be a man, husband, and father. He may have never seen a committed relationship in the home, therefore he doesn't value it as much as someone who may have seen it. This is hard for a male because they may truly desire a relationship with someone but have no idea what a "healthy" relationship looks like. If he is struggling with this, don't try and force him to be in something that he isn't ready for. Be patient. Be his friend. Let him find a male figure in his life that can guide him on what it truly means to be a committed spouse.

3. He Simply Isn't Ready

I know this phrase is hard for women to hear because we just don't understand why someone cannot be ready to be in a relationship. In our minds it is simple. We love each other. We enjoy each others company. Why not be in a relationship? Well I hate to tell you this, but if the man is telling you he is not ready...BELIEVE HIM. He knows himself better than you do and knows what he is dealing with internally. He may not be ready because he knows he is not ready to be faithful. He may not be ready because of the two reasons I stated above. Whatever the reason may be, accept it and make your decision on what you need to do for yourself. Many guys try to spare a woman's feelings by simply being honest, but then we convince ourselves we can change their minds and get deeper into our loyalty and end up hurt. Trust what he is saying. If he isn't ready....then he isn't ready.

4. You Aren't The One For Him

Ladies, I know it's hard to be rejected, but understand that every guy you meet is just not the guy for you and you aren't the woman for him.  But guess what? That is OK. When a man decides you aren't the one for him that does not change your value one bit. You are still beautiful. You are still a gem. You are still desirable. If he doesn't see you as the one for him then move on and make yourself available to the one who DOES see you as the one for him. One thing that is great about this present guy is that he was honest. Many men do not do this, so value his honesty and be glad he saved you from months of heartache.

5. God's Purpose Is Not Yours

Every man that we meet is not our potential husband. Some men will simply be a divine meeting set up by God. Whether it's to pray for him, or to gain a faithful friend, be open to God's purpose in mind and not your own. As women, we tend to miss good friendships due to are anxiousness to force a relationship. When you meet a male go to God and ask Him what His purpose is for you all's meeting. I have met many males that simply became great friendships or a moment for me to sow a seed into their lives. God has even used me in the past to be apart of a man's walk to finding Christ. Be open to God's will and pray to God..."Lord, I pray that this relationship isn't any more or less than what you desire it to be." I pray this simple prayer every time I come in contact with a male, and truly believe this has kept my desires out of the way and put God's in the forefront.

I know you want love. I know you want commitment. Ladies, trust God to give you your desires and don't force it yourselves. Anytime we try to force our own will, it is bound for destruction. Everything is beautiful in its time and God's timing is perfect.

  Ecclesiastes 3:11 "He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end."
For more tips on dating, relationships, and marriage get me new book! Also, pick up the devotional to transform into the woman God has called you to be!

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Single to Married : Becoming Who You Are In Christ and a Better Complement as a Potential Wife
GET IT HERE!  Single to Married Devotional: 30 Days of Transformation, Restoration, and Healing
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For Encouragement, Prayer, or Advice, Message Me on Facebook @ Chloe M. Gooden

Blog Photo Credit to Love of My Life-Freddie Mercury-Queen from Flickr. Taken August 9th, 2011

3 Reasons Why You Cant Forgive , Heal and Let Go

Why Forgive? They were wrong for what they did to you and they deserve to never receive your forgiveness, right? You would never do what they did to you and would never treat someone so cold, right? Many of us feel this way. We have all been hurt by someone. We have all been left abandoned by someone. No matter what action took place, we have all experienced hurt , or an offense, from someone else. We all are carrying burdens, bitterness and anger that we just can't seem to let go. Its a horrible feeling and something we all have a hard time of letting go. Sadly, the more and more we hold on to it, the more trapped we become. We are not free. Why don't we forgive and why do we feel justified to not forgive others?

Matthew 6:14 "For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you."

1. We Feel Our Unforgiveness Is Justified

Whatever they may have done, you felt it was inexcusable, unexplainable, and should not be tolerated. They were wrong, and you just can't see yourself being able to let go of such an horrible offense. But have we not all fallen short of the glory of God?

Romans 3:23
"For everyone has sinned; we all fall short of God's glorious standard."

All of us have sinned, and that includes offending or hurting someone. We make mistakes. We say things we don't mean. We do things with selfish motives. We ALL have done it. Yet, when things are done to us we are astonished and deem what they have done as unforgivable. But God does not see it that way. Think about this. What if God treated us, the way we treat others, when they have done something wrong? If  when we hurt God, he turned His face and decided, "I cannot forgive her, it is done." But He doesn't. Regardless of what we do, or how many times we do it, He ALWAYS forgives. Why? Because He shows us grace and mercy. Because He loves us. Yet when we are offended we don't do the same. We feel what they did was unforgivable and they should never be shown grace or love. Yet God forgives us every single day. What makes us any different from them? Nothing. They are human beings just like we are. Just like us; needing God's grace, love and mercy. 

Luke 6:31
"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

2. We Think That Forgiveness Means Reconciliation 

When we think of forgiving the person that has hurt us , we find it hard to do so because we can't imagine speaking to them, being friends, or reconciling any type of relationship with someone of that nature. We refuse to be in contact with them and afraid of them hurting us again. But guess what? Just because you forgive them does not mean you have to reconcile the relationship. Reconciliation is not guaranteed with forgiveness. That is your choice. God has given us wisdom and expects us to use it from one situation to the next. You may find yourself forgiving someone, but they haven't changed one bit. They are still doing the same thing they did when they offended you. Hard , right? But Jesus did it.

Romans 5: 8
 "But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

While we were STILL in sin, God forgave us and died on the cross for our sins. That is pure amazement and takes so much love, grace and mercy. You can do the same. Forgive them, regardless of what they are doing presently. Realize that it is not them , but the spirit in them that is hurting others. Hate the enemy, but not them. But realize, unless they have changed their ways, it is not your duty to restore you all's relationship.

 For reconciliation to occur, they need to show an effort of change and for change. Just like God forgives us, He not only expects us to ask for forgiveness, but He expects us to repent as well. There is a difference. When we ask for forgiveness, we are asking for God's grace, love, and patience to forget our offense and forgive our transgressions. While asking for forgiveness, we also have to make the decision to repent. When we repent, we are vowing to change our ways so we can be reconciled with God and restore our relationship that was tainted by sin. Just like God requires change, we can require change as well for reconciliation. God does not want you to remain around someone that is continuously hurting you, with no intentions of changing, but He DOES require you to forgive. He cannot forgive us if we do not forgive others.

3. We Are Still Hurting 

Whatever hurt they may have caused, it can sometimes still resonate in us years after the offense. It still hurts thinking about how much they did to us. It still affects are present relationships and trusting others. We still find ourselves going over and over the offense in our minds. We haven't let go of what they have done. We haven't healed from the past. The key to healing is forgiveness. When we forgive the person for what they have done, we are also releasing the anger and bitterness we have towards them. We realize that it is not them, but the enemy working in them, that has caused their actions. We realize that it is our past and that God has created us into NEW beings and can heal all of our wounds. We let go of the offense and step into freedom. The only way you can truly heal is to ask God to heal you. But with that, you have to make the choice to forgive and not think on the past any longer. 

Isaih 43: 18-19
"Do not call to mind the former things, Or ponder things of the past. Behold, I will do something new, Now it will spring forth; Will you not be aware of it? I will even make a roadway in the wilderness, Rivers in the desert.… "

When we constantly hold on to our pasts, we can never receive the blessings God has in store for us. We are so caught up on our pain that we can't seek healing from our Father. Let Go. When we release all that has been done we attain a sense of freedom. A sense of a new purpose. A new life. Will it take time? Yes. Will it hurt releasing the hurt from all those years? Yes. Will we ever heal , let go and be restored by God? Yes. 

Become free in your life. God has so  much in store for you and He wants you to let go of your hurt. He wants you to have joy and receive the blessed life He has in store for you. Forgive.


~Prayer ~ "God, I cant even begin to explain all of the hurt I am feeling that (Insert Name) has done to me. I was betrayed. I was abandoned. I was lied to, and mistreated, in ways I could never imagine. Lord please heal and restore me. Help me to forgive (Insert Name) for what they have done. Lord, I want to love and show grace just like you do towards me. Show me how to forgive and be free from this life of bitterness and anger. I want to have joy; real joy. Be with me Father. I know you hear me, for your Word says that we can cast our cares on you for you care for us and will sustain us. Thank you for listening to me. Thank you for healing me. In Jesus Name. Amen"
For Encouragement, Prayer, or Advice, Message Me on Facebook @ Chloe M. Gooden
Want to receive more prayers in your walk of restoration and healing ? Get my new book coming out June 25th, 2014 on Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com.
 Single to Married Devotional : 30 Days of Transformation, Restoration, and Healing
 

5 Reasons Why You're Still Single

Single and Waiting. Pretty sure this is something you hear often in the single life. You probably don't pay so much attention to the word Single,  but more so the word  Waiting. Seems like you've been waiting forever right? Many singles feel the same way. They are questioning God just like you are and hoping that they will wake up, walk outside, and their prince will arrive at their doorstep saved, sanctified, and ready to propose! But reality is many women are still waiting, and some have even lost hope on a mate finding them. So why such a long wait? Why hasn't God brought you your spouse? Though there could be specific reasons to each of you individually , I am going to give you 5 reasons why you are probably still waiting. Don't be discouraged. God sees and hears your every need. Just because He hasn't answered your prayers, doesn't mean He isn't there.


5 Reasons Why You're Still Single
1. Intentions
2. Free Will
3. God's Plan
4. Testing of Faith
5. Jealous God

Intentions

In Genesis God saw that Adam was alone and he gave him Eve. He didn't want him to be alone and felt it was good to bring Adam a helpmate. Just like He saw Adam's needs, He sees yours as well. He hears you asking for a mate. He knows you long for companionship. But have you ever stopped and really wrote down why you desire a spouse? Read my Blog Post on : 5 Reasons Why Single Women Want A Man. Make sure that you are not looking for a spouse to fulfill needs that should be fulfilled by God. Also, do you want a spouse just because you are frustrated sexually? Or maybe you want a spouse because you want the ring and a wedding? Maybe you think a spouse coming into your life will resolve some issues in your life? Do you want a spouse to have someone take care of you? Whatever your intentions may be , make sure they are pure and of good reasoning. God knows our hearts. He knows exactly why you want a mate and if that is what's best for you. Take your reasoning to court with God and ask Him to reveal your heart and motives.
James 4:3 "When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures."
Free Will

Over and over again you hear people telling you that God will bring you a mate, or God has picked someone specifically for you. I have even heard people say that you and your spouse were made for each other in your mother's wombs, as if God picked you all to be together as He formed you. Something you have to remember is that God has given us FREE WILL. God does not make us love each other nor does He make us love Him ; He gives us the choice. He cannot make someone fall in love with you. Now what God can do is place you in the presence of a Godly man. In the Bible when God paired others together he brought them in the presence of each other, but he didnt make them fall in love. When Boaz met Ruth he admired her and Ruth presented herself to Boaz. Boaz made the decision to accept Ruth, take her as his own, and marry her. God loves you and He does want the best for you. He can orchestrate the best possible scenario for you and a man to meet, but you both have to make the choice to love each other. That's whats so amazing about God. He wants to give you your desires. He wants to make you happy. He will do what He can on His part to bring you those desires, but when it comes to our hearts, He cannot control. Its not that He is incapable of doing so, for God is all powerful. But He gives us choices. If God wanted to force us to love, He would make us love Him. But He doesnt want that. He wants us to love Him FREELY. Don't you want the same from your future spouse?

Deuteronomy 30:19 "This day I call the heavens and the earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live"
God Has A Plan
God always has an ultimate plan for our lives. He gives us a choice to accept His, or try and seek our own way. Of course, His plan is best. The calling He has over your life has a specific purpose on this Earth and He will guide your every footstep along the way. Sometimes in that plan, finding a spouse is nowhere in the plan, or years down the line. He knows you better than you know yourself and He knows when it's the best time to place a mate in your life. You may not be ready yet to have a spouse. Maybe it will be a distraction? Maybe He has a purpose for you to fulfill before you meet someone? Regardless of what the plan may be, are you willing to accept His plan over yours? Seek God and ask Him to show you His will for your life in this season. Ask Him to help you accept His will and trust that He knows what is best for you. Don't worry, He will make sure to carry you through the entire process. He will never give His children anything they cannot bear without His strength, support, and love.
Provers 19:21"Many plans in the man's mind, but God's will stand"

The Testing of Your Faith
When you ask for anything from God there is always a period of waiting. Waiting on God is a struggle for so many people. We are so used to having quick access to the pleasures of this world and it has made it a struggle for us to wait on fulfillment. Though there are changes in this Earth, God never changes. He still requires us to wait, just as He did of those in the Bible. God has us wait for multiple reasons:
1. The testing of our Faith. 2. To build our Character.3. To teach us to Perservere4. To teach us Patience.5. To remind us of the character of God. 
James 1:2-4"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
Jealous God
God wants you to love Him above all other people and things. You are here for His purpose and His glory. He wants your total love and dedication to Him. He knows why you want a spouse, and also if bringing a spouse in your life will distract you. He wants to know that your love for Him won't dwindle because a man has entered your life. Many single women will seek God wholeheartedly for the sole purpose of God blessing them with a spouse. Everything they do is with a purpose of finding a man. They serve the community in hopes that a man will see their efforts and think highly of them. They sing in the choir solely because the director is attractive and they hope to grab their attention. The schemes are limitless. Know that God sees this and will not bless efforts that are not pure. He wants you to seek Him because you love Him. He wants you to show love to others because you love Him. He wants you to serve others because you love Him. Just like you wouldn't want someone to do things for you just to get something, God doesn't want that treatment either. He wants your love for Him to be pure, not expecting anything but love in return.

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Interview with Inspiration for A Lifetime : Ladies Know Your Worth

This week I interviewed with Inspiration for A Lifetime to discuss
 Ladies Knowing Their Worth!Listen in as we discuss Knowing Your Worth in Christ, Celibacy and Dating, Letting Christ Fill the Void and more! Was so awesome to be on Blog Talk Radio with Inspiration for a Lifetime! Such a blessing! Pray it truly Ministers! First 5 Minutes are music, so if not your thing, you can skip over!
CLICK ON LINK BELOW TO LISTEN TO "LADIES KNOW YOUR WORTH" 

Ladies Know Your Worth 04/23 by mslildesi | Self Help Podcasts
From the Interviewee, Desiree :

 "I have Chloe Gooden author of "Not Tonight: My Worth is Far Above Rubies" coming on to talk to the ladies about knowing worth. I am grateful to have her on the show and shed some insight on this important topic. So many young girls and women do not know their worth. For years I hated myself and saw myself way lower than how God created and sees me. Thank God for deliverance out of the years of a never ending black hole I found myself in due to compromising, being depressed, being angry, and all the things that led me to destruction. On my road to knowing my worth and drawing closer to God, this topic couldn't have come at a perfect time.
The way we dress, talk, think, who we date, the decisions we make, etc. all display how we truly see ourselves. Sometimes certain actions are confused with high self esteem or the thrill of enjoying life, but God expects more from the women he beautifully and wonderfully made. How can a lady know her worth? What situations should she avoid and which ones should be embrace? What does a woman walking in the flesh look like versus a woman walking in the spirit? It's not about what you feel you deserve or the pedestal of pride promoted in an individualistic society. It's about what God has in store for you and not settling for anything lower than that. Not self esteem, but God esteem. "

Connect with Inspiration for A Lifetime!
  "Inspiration for a Lifetime" Wednesdays at 11 PM EST on Blog Talk Radio!http://www.blogtalkradio.com/mslildesi  http://www.twitter.com/mslildesihttp://www.facebook.com/desihelps

5 Reasons Why Single Women Want A Man

Finding a man seems to be the main focus of a single woman. We aspire to have many things, but our FOCUS seems to be mostly on having a man pursue, love, and commit to us. Each day we hope a man will sweep us off our feet and our romantic fairytale begin! Just thinking about it makes us smile. Though there is nothing wrong with wanting companionship in our lives, sometimes our reasoning behind this desire can be wrong and sometimes idolized. Why?

 Because we think a man will.........

1.  Bring us Happiness.
2. Fill a Void.
3. Make us feel Accepted and Approved.
4. Cure Loneliness.
5. Heal Past Hurts & Broken Hearts. 

These are probably the most common 5 things women think will occur when they meet a man, but I am sure there are plenty more. There is something going on internally within us all that we think a man will fix, but in actuality, only God can fix it. God is the only person that can heal you, bring you joy, accept you, and will never leave you. But too often we look to a man to do this. This ultimately puts too much pressure on a man and you become dependent on him to keep you whole in these areas. But you can be whole in God before any man enters your life. To be honest with you, this is exactly what God desires. He wants you to be complete in HIM, so that when He brings a man into your life, you won't put him before your relationship with God.

God will....
1. Give you Joy that's everlasting.
1 Peter 1: 8-9"Though you have not seen him, you love him; and even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy,  for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."
 2. Fill any void in your life. Just simply ask Him.
Psalm 55:22 " Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken."
God has... 3. Accepted  and approved you the minute you were formed in the womb.
Psalm 139: 13-14 "For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made..."
God is...

 4. ALWAYS with you. You are never alone.
Deuteronomy 31:6"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

5. Your Healer. You can only be made whole and complete through Him.
Psalm 147:3"He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds."


"Don't pine for a man. Pine for more of God."

Need Advice , Prayer, or Support? Email Me Here!Learn More About the Author

The Single, Independent Woman, Common Mistakes

Being a single woman can be riveting , but also extremely challenging. We are taught to fend for ourselves, but at the same time reminded to still be a lady. We are told to know how to change a tire, pay our bills, and that we don't need a man to start living a fulfilled life. We have taken hold of the single life, but at the same time, many of us desire to get married and have our long awaited King take his Queen. But the Queen has been in the castle by herself for so long that she has forgotten how to make room for her King. We have become accustomed to the single life and have been deemed independent. Oh, don't we just love that word! During this time of being single, we have become so dependent on ourselves that we find it hard to adjust when a man enters our lives and we try to still keep the control. We try to keep control of our lives, the relationship, and our mate. We have a hard time letting go of the Independent title and make some common mistakes that cause men to feel as if we don't need them. Well here are some quick Do's and Don'ts for the single women who desire to one day be a potential wife, and also for those who are presently on their way to becoming a wife.


This is a Sneak Peak of my book Single to Married!

DO'S AND DON'T S  Do not pursue the man or the relationship. Let him lead. If you start pursuing and leading now, you will ALWAYS lead. Step back and let a man be a man.
  Do not belittle him. Yes, you may have more degrees than him. Yes, you may even know more than he does. But is it worth hurting his pride? No.
 Do not embarrass him in public. Many women tend to correct their spouses, argue, and confront them in front of others. This is a big no no. Even if he is wrong about something, wait until you all are private and bring it up.
 Do not talk to him as if he is a child. You are not his mother, you are his wife.   Do not bring up past issues or forgiven actions. You said you forgave him, so don’t bring it up. Constantly reminding him of his wrongdoings will slowly break down the relationship.
Don’t push him to change. That is God’s job. Bring up your concerns , but afterwards, pray and leave the rest up to God.                         
Let him be a gentleman. Too often men try to open doors for us, or carry our things, and we say, “Oh, I got it.” Don’t do that. Let him take care of you. 
Give him time to take care of what you have asked of him. Nagging doesn’t make him move faster, trust  me on this!    Show him respect in your speech and actions. Men often reveal that they don't feel respected by their spouses.
Be loving, supportive, encouraging, and his best friend. Men truly just want support and want to feel their mate has their back. CLICK HERE TO PURCHASE
Need Advice , Prayer, or Support? Email Me Here!Learn More About the Author

The Independent Woman Common Mistakes

Being a single woman can be riveting , but also extremely challenging. We are taught to fend for ourselves, but at the same time reminded to still be a lady. We are told to know how to change a tire, pay our bills, and that we don't need a man to start living a fulfilled life. We have taken hold of the single life, but at the same time, many of us desire to get married and have our long awaited King take his Queen. But the Queen has been in the castle by herself for so long that she has forgotten how to make room for her King. We have become accustomed to the single life and have been deemed independent. Oh, don't we just love that word! During this time of being single, we have become so dependent on ourselves that we find it hard to adjust when a man enters our lives and we try to still keep the control. We try to keep control of our lives, the relationship, and our mate. We have a hard time letting go of the Independent title and make some common mistakes that cause men to feel as if we don't need them. Well here are some quick Do's and Don'ts for the single women who desire to one day be a potential wife, and also for those who are presently on their way to becoming a wife.


This is a Sneak Peak Preview of my new book coming out soon!

DO'S AND DON'T S  Do not pursue the man or the relationship. Let him lead. If you start pursuing and leading now, you will ALWAYS lead. Step back and let a man be a man.
  Do not belittle him. Yes, you may have more degrees than him. Yes, you may even know more than he does. But is it worth hurting his pride? No.
 Do not embarrass him in public. Many women tend to correct their spouses, argue, and confront them in front of others. This is a big no no. Even if he is wrong about something, wait until you all are private and bring it up.
 Do not talk to him as if he is a child. You are not his mother, you are his wife.   Do not bring up past issues or forgiven actions. You said you forgave him, so don’t bring it up. Constantly reminding him of his wrongdoings will slowly break down the relationship.
Don’t push him to change. That is God’s job. Bring up your concerns , but afterwards, pray and leave the rest up to God.                         
Let him be a gentleman. Too often men try to open doors for us, or carry our things, and we say, “Oh, I got it.” Don’t do that. Let him take care of you. 
Give him time to take care of what you have asked of him. Nagging doesn’t make him move faster, trust  me on this!    Show him respect in your speech and actions. Men often reveal that they don't feel respected by their spouses.
Be loving, supportive, encouraging, and his best friend. Men truly just want support and want to feel their mate has their back.
Click Here for A Chapter Preview of My New Book ====== >  Perception of Boaz  <======Need Advice , Prayer, or Support? Email Me Here!Learn More About the Author

The Misconception of Ruth & Boaz

We hear the story of Ruth and Boaz over and over again in the single world and it has become a beacon of light for the single & saved. We look over this story and pray to God, "Lord, please let my Boaz find me and show me favor like Ruth," and wait on God to miraculously drop this man right in front of us! We go in and out each day expecting to meet our Boaz and for our lives to change forever. Its a story of hope for singles, but it has also been a story of misinterpretation. Boaz is a great representation of a man who God uses as a vessel to redeem, restore and give hope. But notice I said he was a vessel. Too often we as singles place our focus on Boaz as if He is a savior, when God is our one and only true savior. We put so much emphasis on this man that will supposedly walk into our lives and change everything, that we focus on seeking Boaz instead of seeking God. We also completely ignore the fact that Ruth didn't simply wait for someone to come save her, she went out into the world and did what she could for herself and God was able to move with the works in her faith. While you are waiting on your Boaz rethink some perceptions in your mind of this story and think on these things........


Some Things To Think About: 

1. Understand that Boaz will not be your Savior.
2. Realize that Boaz will be looking for Ruth.
3. Stop seeking Boaz and seek God.
4. Ruth is NOT helpless. She was a woman of integrity, loyalty and took Godly advice from her elders.
5. While you are waiting on your Boaz what are you doing to portray a woman like Ruth?
6. Are you waiting to be saved, or are you in the fields working to take care of yourself?
7. Are you waiting on Boaz to redeem you or God to redeem you?
8. If your Boaz came into your life are you truly ready to be found?
9. Would you complement a Boaz type man ?
10. What are you expecting Boaz to do for your life? Should you be depending on God to do that?

What Should You Be Doing Now :

1. Focus on finding your purpose instead of focusing on finding a man.
2. Study the Proverbs 31 woman and other women of integrity of the Bible and make changes to exemplify them.
3. Ask God to show you the areas in your life where you need to adjust to be a complement to a man and not a setback.
4. Depend on God to supply your needs instead of waiting on someone else to do so.
5. Ask God what you can do on your part to rectify issues that are unraveled in your life. Some of the issues in our lives are from our own doing and not external issues. Ask God for revelation on these things and the strength to fix them with His grace.
6. Let God know the desires of your heart and trust He will provide them when the time is right.
7. Be Patient. God always moves in our lives at the perfect time
8. Focus on being right before God, instead of being right for just a man.
9. Deepen your relationship with God so your desires will match His.
10. Cast your cares over to God and trust Him to supply the exact thing you are waiting on a man to fix.

Click Here for A Preview of My New Book ====== >  Perception of Boaz  <======
 If you are wanting a detailed story of this story of loyalty, trust and divine intervention simply read the Book of Ruth. To provide a brief synopsis you can also read this link :  Synopsis of Ruth & Boaz Story
Need Advice , Prayer, or Support? Email Me Here!Learn More About the Author

The Misconception of Ruth & Boaz - Ruth Who ?

We hear the story of Ruth and Boaz over and over again in the single world and it has become a beacon of light for the single & saved. We look over this story and pray to God, "Lord, please let my Boaz find me and show me favor like Ruth," and wait on God to miraculously drop this man right in front of us! We go in and out each day expecting to meet our Boaz and for our lives to change forever. Its a story of hope for singles, but it has also been a story of misinterpretation. Boaz is a great representation of a man who God uses as a vessel to redeem, restore and give hope. But notice I said he was a vessel. Too often we as singles place our focus on Boaz as if He is a savior, when God is our one and only true savior. We put so much emphasis on this man that will supposedly walk into our lives and change everything, that we focus on seeking Boaz instead of seeking God. We also completely ignore the fact that Ruth didn't simply wait for someone to come save her, she went out into the world and did what she could for herself and God was able to move with the works in her faith. While you are waiting on your Boaz rethink some perceptions in your mind of this story and think on these things........


Some Things To Think About: 

1. Understand that Boaz will not be your Savior.
2. Realize that Boaz will be looking for Ruth.
3. Stop seeking Boaz and seek God.
4. Ruth is NOT helpless. She was a woman of integrity, loyalty and took Godly advice from her elders.
5. While you are waiting on your Boaz what are you doing to portray a woman like Ruth?
6. Are you waiting to be saved, or are you in the fields working to take care of yourself?
7. Are you waiting on Boaz to redeem you or God to redeem you?
8. If your Boaz came into your life are you truly ready to be found?
9. Would you complement a Boaz type man ?
10. What are you expecting Boaz to do for your life? Should you be depending on God to do that?

What Should You Be Doing Now :

1. Focus on finding your purpose instead of focusing on finding a man.
2. Study the Proverbs 31 woman and other women of integrity of the Bible and make changes to exemplify them.
3. Ask God to show you the areas in your life where you need to adjust to be a complement to a man and not a setback.
4. Depend on God to supply your needs instead of waiting on someone else to do so.
5. Ask God what you can do on your part to rectify issues that are unraveled in your life. Some of the issues in our lives are from our own doing and not external issues. Ask God for revelation on these things and the strength to fix them with His grace.
6. Let God know the desires of your heart and trust He will provide them when the time is right.
7. Be Patient. God always moves in our lives at the perfect time
8. Focus on being right before God, instead of being right for just a man.
9. Deepen your relationship with God so your desires will match His.
10. Cast your cares over to God and trust Him to supply the exact thing you are waiting on a man to fix.

Click Here for A Preview of My New Book ====== >  Perception of Boaz  <======
 If you are wanting a detailed story of this story of loyalty, trust and divine intervention simply read the Book of Ruth. To provide a brief synopsis you can also read this link :  Synopsis of Ruth & Boaz Story
Need Advice , Prayer, or Support? Email Me Here!Learn More About the Author

I'm Tired of Waiting

We are all waiting on God to change something in our lives. Waiting for our difficult situations to change. Waiting on the suffering in our lives to end. Waiting on that new job or car we've always wanted. Waiting on healing. Waiting on God to bring us our spouse. Waiting on God to fulfill His promises. We all are anxiously waiting for things to change and are usually in a state of being miserable until it happens. Why are we so ready for the change? Why is it so hard for us to wait on God? Because usually when we are waiting, we are uncomfortable. As a generation it is hard for us to wait, especially when we are uncomfortable,  because society has trained us to attain quick gratification in every situation. Want to lose weight? Do it in 30 days! Want that new car? Loan the money instead of saving for it! Dissatisfied with your job? Quit! You deserve better! Hungry? Don't cook. Go to the quickest fast food restaurant and get satisfied! These are the types of messages we see and hear everyday, and sadly this anxiousness has transcended over into our spiritual lives as well. We expect God to move on our behalf as quick as possible and when that doesn't happen, we become frustrated and sometimes even angry with God.

So how exactly should we act in our present situations, even if we feel we are uncomfortable or deserve better?
1. Learn to Be Content where God has you presently. In our present situations we find everything possible to complain about and constantly feel we deserve better than where we are. Each day we find the negative, instead of looking at all God has blessed us with. You may not be where YOU want to be at the moment, but have you ever wondered that maybe you are exactly where GOD wants you to be? Learn to accept where He has you now by........            - Thanking Him everyday for everything He has placed around you now.            - Ask God to show you why He has you where you are and what He is
               trying to teach you?            - Wake up each day and speak over your situation with scripture.             - Pray for peace and contentment where he has you now.             - Think about where you are now, and compare it to your past. Has God
               blessed you already?
Phillipians 4: 11-13"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength."  2. Humble Yourself. Many times we are ungrateful in our situation because we feel we "deserve" better. I am not sure where we get this from, but you have to remember that you are a servant of Christ. Any servant of Christ has to suffer with Christ to become more like the image of God. But sometimes we forget that. We complain and moan about what we don't have an where we "think" we should be. If Christ himself, who is sitting at the right hand of God suffered, what makes you think that you won't? We are slaves for Christ. Also, maybe you are looking at your situation from the wrong light. Are you truly suffering, or is God just having you wait until the proper time of fulfillment? If God has not granted you what you desire yet, most likely you do not need it, or it just isn't time. 
1 Peter 5: 6-7 "Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time."
 3. Look Outside of Your Self. In our times of needed change we tend to focus on self motive and self fulfillment. We are not here for ourselves but for others as well. God may have you placed exactly where you are for someone else. Maybe its a needed word that can only come from you? Maybe its a blessing that you will be able to bestow upon them? Maybe you are in the situation because God knows you can handle it and wants you to help someone else have victory in there's? Ask God who He wants you to minister to where you are now. Ask Him to show you His purpose and what He has planned for you to do.
4.Understand He Is Changing Your Character. God will do everything in His power to equip us for His mighty works. Just as fire is put to gold to take out all infirmities, God does the same with our tough situations to mold us into His image and prepare us for His purpose. It is always in our struggles that our true character comes out and conviction takes place. God has to purge some things out of your spirit and soul before we can move on to the next stage He has in our lives. Let him build your character. Let Him build your faith. You will come out a better person then you were before. I promise!
James 1: 2-4 " Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."
 I know sometimes it can be so hard when we are uncomfortable. We want the situation to change so bad and want the healing to come as quick as possible. But please learn to be patient and trust God's timing. Every situation I have been through , when I came out, I was so much better than I was before. I began to understand God's process and learn to trust His way instead of my own. Now understand, as you are going through this , cry out to God. But instead of asking God to change the situation, ask Him to change YOU in the situation. Every time I did that, my complete perspective changed and I learned to be satisfied wherever He had me.  I soon realized that it wasn't the situations that were the issue, but it was the internal issues that needed fixing in me. 
God Bless
Need Advice , Prayer, or Support? Email Me Here!Learn More About the AuthorHer Worth Is Far Above Rubies