Jennie Goutet's Blog: A Lady in France, page 6

Scriptures to Combat Anxiety

I used to write more vulnerable, personal posts on my blog, and that changed when I started writing books and found myself with less time. If I have an hour or two – and I rarely get more – I feel pressure to churn out pages for my latest novel, and the blog gets put to the side until I have something burning to say, or until I’ve gone too long without fresh content to properly upkeep a blog I still love.

My kids have also grown and are less keen to have their pictures and lives on public display. I have to ask them every time I post a picture of them, which means I’m not writing about those spontaneous, joyful celebrations of life that happen on a regular basis. Something also changed when I went off anti-depressants two years ago. Writing about vulnerable things no longer brought relief. It’s enough just to keep up. My life is more about survival than anything else and vulnerability sometimes takes more out of me than I have.

I’ve been struggling with anxiety – in a general way for quite awhile, but intensely for the last couple of months. The cause is never all that important since the feelings and physical manifestations of anxiety are usually not based on realistic (or even probable) outcomes and are therefore all the more inexplicable. Still, I think the trigger has been continuous medical issues that are not, in themselves, very serious (tendinitis, bronchitis, recurrent bladder infections, allergies) but they flow from one problem into the next so it’s an endless cycle of doctor’s visits and energy spent finding solutions (sometimes alternative) for healing. I haven’t had a single day that I can remember in four months that I’ve felt completely well.

I’ve also been anxious about a lot of upcoming to-dos and trips and extra things on top of my schedule (and those achievement-oriented expectations that hang on me like an albatross). We’re in slow legal pursuit of the construction company that walked off with all our money. We may not win, but it’s important to try our best not to be victims. We live with scaffolding around our house, which is half-covered with drafty cement blocks and not the beautiful insulation we’ll be paying for for the next 20 years. I’m glad to have our living room done, but I can’t go upstairs and look at the empty construction site there without a pang. And I can’t walk outside and look at the unfinished exterior (and weedy garden, which we can’t redo until the exterior is finished) without a feeling of dismay.

The anxiety has been intense. For awhile I couldn’t eat and lost 7 lbs. I couldn’t sleep at night, and even now that I can, I still need a nap during the day. I had to turn down social engagements. Sometimes the anxiety was too much and I needed medicine, and other times I was able to handle it through prayer. It doesn’t help that, without antidepressants, taking a rather bleak view on life is my modus operandi.

Still. Despite it all, something beautiful has been happening through my battles to overcome anxiety. I have leaned on God more than ever and have experienced victories that are bright rays of hope in this seemingly bleak little life of mine. I wanted to share some of the scriptures that brought me this hope – the ones that help when I’m very anxious.

Matthew 6:25-34 (not all is shown) “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”

What I remind myself – rebuke myself, even – is that Jesus commands me not to worry about tomorrow. What else is anxiety if not worrying about tomorrow? When I’m in the throes and fears of the what-ifs, I take each thought captive to Christ and tell myself, “No! Jesus said not to worry about tomorrow. And right now, at this instant, this thing I dread is not happening. Therefore I have no cause to worry.”

And sure enough, 9 times out of 10, the thing I dread does not happen. Tomorrow arrives with its rays of sun and hope, and the only damage done is to my poor jaw from clenching teeth when I sleep. (I haven’t yet succeeded in convincing myself not to worry when I sleep).

Isaiah 41:10 Do not fear, for I am with you;

Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.

I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,

Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’

I discovered this New American Standard Version from reading Sarah Young’s book, Jesus Calling. The NIV says, “do not be dismayed”. But the NASV says, “do not anxiously look about you.” I remind myself of this. I comfort myself with this. “Jennie, do not look anxiously about you.” Part of anxiety is trying to find your own solutions to seemingly insurmountable problems. Here God is reminding me to be still. Whenever I start that vicious whirl in my head, “Okay I need to do this, and then do that, and maybe this will work …” I just need to stop. I will not cast about desperately for solutions.

God will strengthen me. Surely he will help me. Surely he will uphold me with his righteous right hand.  

Psalm 56:3 When I am afraid, I put my trust in you.

It’s so simple, but it’s another thing I chant in my head when I’m lying in the dark and my head is spinning from fear. When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. When I am afraid, I put my trust in you. It works. I do this until I remember in Whom I am putting my trust.

Another similar one that I hold on to is Psalm 31:14

But I trust in you, Lord;

    I say, “You are my God.”

I say it with conviction. But I trust in you, Lord. I say, “You are my God.” Like, of course you’re going to come through for me. I say it until I believe it, and it has been effective. Suddenly this peace washes over me and I am able to fall back asleep.

Below is yet another one that talks about trust, but still they don’t feel redundant. These scriptures have a calming effect on me when I repeat them. I copy them on flashcards and put them in the notes section of my phone so I can see them again and again throughout the day. I repeat the parts I remember at night when I’m trying to sleep.

Here it is, in Isaiah 12:2

Surely God is my salvation;

    I will trust and not be afraid.

I will trust and not be afraid. Those scriptures on trust are for when the anxiety is at its worst and the prayers are more primal.

However, when anxiety is mild and I can reason my way through it, I focus on scriptures like this:

Proverbs 17:22 A cheerful heart is good medicine,

    but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Be cheerful! I force my face to stretch into a smile. I force my body to get out of isolation and walk into the room where my family is. I force myself to do something routine like clean the kitchen and look at the birds popping into the feeder on the flowering plum tree outside the kitchen window. There is so much to be cheerful about, even when the challenges feel large. Let me not aid and abet my crushed spirit by forgetting to be cheerful.

Philippians 4:6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

I remember to thank God for my trials. He didn’t design us to have perfection on earth. He designed us to bring him glory by putting his treasure (His perfectly glorious Holy Spirit) in jars of clay (our broken, mortal bodies). And thanking him reminds me that this is the deal. Here on earth – broken, mortal body PLUS a deposit guaranteeing a perfect immortal body on the day we wake up from the Deep Sleep. There is truly a lot to be thankful for.

Another like it is 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

I thank God for my trials because they bring me closer to him. It’s really true. I’ve been having better, deeper, and more gratitude-filled times of morning Bible reading and prayer. And the closeness stays with me throughout the day. I’m constantly drawing near to God to battle my fears and so I thank him for that.

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I’ve listed more scriptures below that I found helpful, that I’ve leaned on in the past few weeks (some of them are repeats of ones I mentioned). But before I give you the list, I want to remind you of another scripture at the beginning of Matthew 8 that I think is crucial in combatting anxiety.

When Jesus came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. A man with leprosy came and knelt before him and said, “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.”Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. “I am willing,” he said. “Be clean!” Immediately he was cleansed of his leprosy.

I think most of us who believe in God don’t doubt his power to do something. But we might doubt his desire to do it. After all, who are we? He has enough other people (with bigger problems) to think of. Or … He might want us to suffer in order to discipline us – right? This is how we think. We also understand that no one knows the mind of the Lord, and we accept that his perfect will is to bring us to heavenly glory and not resolve every earthly problem we bring before him.

We can reason our way through a lot of disappointments this way. We will also stay stuck in our anxiety.

But this is a faulty understanding if it stops there – if it doesn’t take into account Jesus’ desire for our complete healing. We can be sure of this : Jesus is willing to heal us. See how quickly he answered the leper? “I am willing. Be clean.” Yes, hopefully we get physical healing – but more importantly – Jesus will heal us of the fear gripping us and the anxiety that threatens to steal our peace. We gain a deeply rooted confidence when we focus on His promises.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 1 John 4:18

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Better understanding of God’s love for us:

Deuteronomy 33:26-29

Isaiah 41:13

Zephaniah 3:17

Proverbs 3:24-26

God’s promise of his presence and help:

Isaiah 26:3

Psalm 9:10

Joshua 1:5

Psalm 46:1

2 Thessalonians 3:16

Psalm 61:1-2

Mark 5:36

How we ought to approach trials and anxiety:

John 16:33

Psalm 56:3

Isaiah 12:2-3

Matthew 6:34

John 14:1

Psalm 63:7-8

Isaiah 41:10

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Do you struggle with anxiety? How do you cope?

The post Scriptures to Combat Anxiety appeared first on A Lady In France.

French Chocolate Tart

I made the most delicious French chocolate tart from the recipe book my friend gave me that has all these traditional dessert recipes – some of which I’ve heard of and others, which are new. Red wine cake anyone? Potato cake? I do want to try the blackberry cake too and a bunch others, but first I tried the chocolate tart.

“Grandma’s bakery”

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Mine, as usual, is a gluten-free version. The only thing I did to the crust was to substitute a gluten-free flour mix because I knew the almond powder and egg would keep the crust together. Some recipes are perfect for gluten-free flour.

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For the crust. You’ll need 1 2/3 c flour, 3 tablespoons cocoa, 120 grams of cold butter, cut in pieces – I think a stick will do, though it’s just slightly over one stick – an egg, a 1/2 teaspoon salt (I used sea salt crystals so you would get tiny salty bursts), 1/4 c sugar, a teaspoon vanilla extract, and 1/4 c ground almonds.

I put all the dry ingredients in the Cuisinart and mixed them first. Then I added all the wet and mixed it together. At first it will seem like it’s not going to lump, but it does eventually form into a ball.

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The recipe says to put in the fridge for a half-hour. I was busy and left it in there longer and had to let it warm up before I could roll it. Honestly, you can probably skip this step, but if you do chill it, don’t keep it in there for more than a half-hour.

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With gluten-free crust, it’s good to have parchment paper underneath the crust, and another on top. It keeps it from sticking. With regular crust you would need additional flour too, but I I didn’t need it for this one.

[image error]I use the bottom parchment paper to slide it into the quiche pan and even out the crust so the sides are covered. Then I cut the excess parchment paper. I did, however, keep the parchment paper on top to protect the crust as it was baking.

You’ll need to pre-heat the oven to 200°C – 400°F. That’s hot. So you want to protect it. I baked it for 15 minutes with the second parchment paper tucked around it. And I removed the paper and baked it for another 5 minutes.

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You need to bake the crust because the filling does not need to go into the oven. So let the crust cool a little, then prepare a double-boiler. I used a stainless steel bowl in a wok with some water, which worked just fine.  Put 300 grams table chocolate, which means not too high a percentage since there is no other sugar added. I used Lindt 52% dark chocolate. Make sure the chocolate is good quality since it carries the taste.

Add 60 grams cold butter (about half a stick) and start the water underneath simmering. Mix everything as it melts together.

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In a separate pan, heat (slowly) a cup of crème fraîche. I just discovered a recipe for making crème fraîche if you can’t easily buy it. It’s here. Make sure the cream has no added ingredients, like some type of thickener. It should be pure cream.

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When you melt it, it does become liquid. You need to add a double espresso to the filling, and just to be able to give you accurate measurements, I  measured out mine – 1/4 cup espresso. Mix that into the warm cream.

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And then mix all that with your chocolate and butter mixture.

Pour it into your crust.

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Do it slowly to have as few bubbles as possible. The recipe said to cover the tart before you put it back in the refrigerator, but I found that to be impossible. The plastic wrap kept falling on to the runny middle.

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And causing bubbles.

You need to refrigerate it for at least 2 hours. Then you can cut a piece, and you’ll see that the inside is perfectly firm. Gorgeous, in fact, bubbles and all.

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The family hovered over me as I cut a piece to photograph. Even though it was an hour away from dinner, I took pity on them and gave them all a small piece.

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They just about fell on the floor after taking the first bite.

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I might have too, except I was too busy licking my plate.

[image error][image error] French Chocolate Tart   Print Prep time 35 mins Cook time 20 mins Total time 55 mins   Serves: 12 Ingredients Crust: 190 grams flour (1⅔ cups) 3 tablespoons cocoa 120 grams butter (1 stick) 1 egg ½ teaspoon sea salt crystals (or ¼ teaspoon table salt) 1 teaspoon vanilla 30 grams ground almonds (1/4 cup) Filling: 300 grams 52% good chocolate (like Lindt) 60 grams butter (1/2 stick) 200 grams crème fraîche (1 cup) ¼ cup espresso Instructions Preheat the oven to 200°C / 400°F. Put the dry crust ingredients in the Cuisinart and blend. Add the wet ingredients and turn until it forms a ball. Roll the crust out on parchment paper (under and above). Slide the crust on to a quiche pan and cut the excess parchment paper. Bake in the oven for 15 minutes with the second parchment paper on top, then 5 more minutes uncovered. Let it cool. Prepare a double-boiler and melt the chocolate and butter. In a separate pan, heat the crème fraîche - don't let it foam. Add the espresso to the cream. Mix the melted chocolate / butter and the cream / espresso. Let the filling cool for 5 minutes, then pour it into the crust. Refrigerate for 2 hours. 3.5.3239

If you want more (mostly) French recipes, just click here for my recipe page.

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Our Easter Weekend

FRANCE

This weekend, we welcomed teens from the churches in Lyon, Geneva, and Brussels to participate in a jeu de piste around Paris.

A literal translation would be tracking game (like dogs tracking a scent). It’s a little bit like a treasure hunt, except the only treasure at the end is that you get to sit down.

I was home cooking, but they said that the teens had walked around 13 kilometres (8 miles – is that possible?). They met at 11 AM, divided into groups – there were 40 teens – and were armed with phones, plus access to a website that had pictures of various places around Paris, which they needed to find and take a photo in front of. The places were not all that well known. There was a shop front, for instance, that didn’t show the name of the shop, but there was a clue that it was the same name as a racetrack. So they had to figure out that it was the Longchamps boutique in Place Vendôme, then rush there and grab a photo.

My courageous husband was there for it all. My daughter wore black fashion boots and is currently hobbling around on crutches from a sore Achilles heel. That’s a mom fail since I had an idea they would be walking a lot and it didn’t occur to me to tell her to wear sneakers.

I was courageous, too, because I drove our Behemoth into Paris and got a parking spot. I have no problem parallel-parking our small car in tight spots, but the big one does not handle in a way I expect for backing into a spot so it’s intimidating and I was nervous. In the end, with two boys wearing headsets and me driving an automatic car (so smooth), I felt like I floated into Paris on a cloud of grace, and glided into a spot right in front of the building, without needing to parallel park.

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After the buffet, sharing, and games, there was a dance competition. Each group had to choose a dance to perform in front of the judges, and the teens who waltzed won the competition. They were ah-mazing. I love watching their relationships. They meet each year for camp, so they’re all very close.

I do have some upcoming tourist posts for you later this month when my Dad and his wife visit. I’m also determined to do a museum visit (planned with other English-speakers each month, but I’ve been unable to go so far due to health issues). So I really hope I can make it to the next one and blog about it.

FOOD

For the teen buffet, I made deviled eggs (see the cute paprika spoon we got from some teens staying with us from Budapest). Of course I forgot them in the refrigerator. I also made fried rice, barbecue chicken, brownies, and chocolate, peanut butter chip cookies. The teens made short work of all that food. Alberte was vigilant about making the boys let the girls go first, which I thought was a great idea if we wanted there to be any food left. And inspire a sense of love manifested through service.

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I brought the deviled eggs to my in-laws yesterday for an extended family chocolate egg hunt. I also made oatmeal chocolate chip bars.

We had hosted one teen from Lyon, Anna. We’re friends with her parents from doing the pre-teen camp together a couple years in a row. (They’re doing the teen camp now, while we’re still helping with the pre-teens). Anna’s mother sent me this as a gift for hosting her daughter.

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She knows what I like. The very first thing I’d like to try is the chocolate tart. If it’s good, I’ll post the recipe.

FAMILY (and me)

I’ve had another crazy week. I started a job proofreading (freelance on Fiverr), but I got more jobs than I could handle and grossly under-charged, and that without realizing that Fiverr kept 20%. I’m more reasonable now. I paused the Fiverr account and will be taking gigs from people I know. Hopefully that will mean no more 1300-word dry essays on the baggage handling system at airports, written by a non-native-English-speaker for the whopping earnings of 6.50€ for an hour and a half’s work.

Needless to say, I’ve not had time to write. I’ve decided to postpone my Regency sequel to Eleanor Marries for Love (tentative title) and put out a modern romance, based in France. I’m aiming to have the first draft done by June 1, which is a very quick turnaround for me. Last week I couldn’t write at all because of the editing (and other crazy stuff going on). And when I don’t write, I always feel like I’m not capable of writing, which is not a great feeling for a writer to have. Nothing for it but to make time and get back to it.

Yesterday, for Easter, I kept it simple. I had four bunnies because Anna was with us.

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Then we went to church. This is our view from where we meet. (That’s the Arc de Triumph in the distance).

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I was translating (which I always volunteer for if I’m not teaching the kids because I love it). Except the teens were sharing about their weekend, and one of them talked about being strong in weakness. She shared about how her mom almost died from anorexia when she was 6. The first time, she and her dad came home to find her mom in a coma, and her mom then spent a year in the hospital. A year later, the process repeated itself exactly.

She could only visit her mom once a week and she didn’t do well at school because she was always wondering whether her mom would still be alive for her next visit. Usually, if I feel emotional when translating (which sometimes happens), I dig my fingers into my palms so my voice doesn’t break. But this time it didn’t work. I kept sniffling. “I’m sorry…” “I’m sorry…”

I am happy to report her mom was healed through hypnotherapy, and she became a hypnotist herself to help others struggling with anorexia.

Later that afternoon, we went to my in-laws’ place to have an afternoon tea.

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And we had a hunt in the garden.

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And today, since it’s a national holiday, we’re going to see friends from church. Emma has organised a big treasure hunt for all the kids, so that should be fun.

FAITH

A few weeks ago, a reader sent me a gift, which I found very useful. It’s Sarah Young’s daily devotional, Jesus Calling. She also sent the smaller version, and two worship CDs – thank you, Cindy.

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You can tell Sarah has spent a lot of time meditating on the Word, and in prayer. Her devotionals are deep and inspiring. Usually, my quiet times don’t involve books other than the Bible, and right now, I’m working on going through the Bible again, and highlighting the verses according to color (green for teaching, blue for God’s glory, pink for his love, orange for history, etc.)

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And then I spend time praying. I’m working on praising God more. I’m great at asking for things – not so great at praise. Jesus Calling has been helpful because I’ve struggled intensely with anxiety and fear the last few months. I’ve had to rely on the scriptures to overcome this, to a level I’ve not needed in the past. The devotional had lots of passages dealing specifically with fear. I might write a post on that at some point.

Otherwise, although it was Easter, our minister had a message more geared toward teens (it was great) and some advice on standing strong. Leave it to our son, William, to remind us of what was important. He drew this in class, on his own initiative, I think.

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And when we were driving for our afternoon get-together, he grabbed the Bible, which had been left in the car, and asked if he could read something. So he read the entire story of the resurrection, which they had learned in class. It was as if God was reminding us of what was amiss this Easter. We think of Jesus’s death, burial, and resurrection every Sunday when we take the Lord’s supper, so for us – Easter is more of a family and commercial holiday. Not so much a Sunday of greater significance than other Sundays. That’s not necessarily a bad thing since we think about Jesus regularly. But sometimes it’s good to give significance to an event that changed the divine course of history.

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And – through the mouths of babes – God reminded us of what was important.

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Life in Pictures

I’ve been busy – can you tell by my silence? I’m prioritising book writing over blog writing because a lot is happening on that front. I hope to tell you more soon.

Regarding blogging, though, as long as I can continue writing posts when the mood strikes without any pressure or deadline, it remains a joy. Even so. There comes a time when you realise you’ve posted nothing in weeks and you decide it’s time. And I thought today would be a good day for some pictures of what we’ve been doing lately.

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I’m thoroughly enjoying our completed living room – shown here in the morning light – never mind that the couches desperately need replacing and the rest of the house is not finished. I’m embracing the perfect in the imperfect.

Although there is much to do, my husband did find time to build a coat rack, using leftover wood from our new stairs. It’s cool, isn’t it? With those old hooks?

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Of course, the kids still throw their coats on the laundry room floor.

I’ve been sick again, which has contributed to my blogging pause. I’m sort of chalking this school year up as a bust on the health and energy front. Every time I think I’m getting better, I get some other infection and the antibiotics cause a set back in the tendinitis. A vicious cycle, but one I’m determined to break by the time summer rolls around. I went to the gym this morning, which is a lot better than where I was a week ago when I had to go to the ER at midnight because the antibiotics weren’t working.

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I bought tulips. Tulips make everything better.

We were enjoying spring …

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This corner is never so pretty than it is in spring. Then yesterday we got surprised by another snowfall  – when it almost never snows in Paris! This is what I saw out my window this morning.

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I’m so unused to seeing our town white with snow.

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Honestly, it’s pretty, but with the cold and me trying to get back on my feet health-wise it’s feeling rather bleak. And then all the efforts the flowers put in are sort of wasted. Do you think they will ever recover?

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The cold is good for one thing, at least. I’ve waited 12 years to get our own raclette machine. We usually eat it at my in-laws’ house. Have you ever had raclette?

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It’s originally Swiss. The raclette cheese pivots around a fire (at the ski lodges, for instance) and they scrape the melted part off for you to pour over potatoes and charcuterie. In France, we eat it by melting squares of raclette on little skillets that go underneath a grill. It’s cute and tasty, and everyone loves it.

We’ve had a whirlwind of activities here. Juliet and her lifelong friend, Eléonore are practicing to dance at a wedding. (I would have added more pictures and included one of the two of them, but now my kids are older and not all the pictures get approved). The bride wants the girls to dance around her and the groom during their slow song at the reception. It’s probably to take the pressure off the bride and groom.

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We got a family Spotify account for Christmas and we’ve all been discovering new songs. William is loving it. He’s got some rhythm in his bones. He almost didn’t let me put this picture, but I begged.

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His other passion is animals. I finally signed him up for a couple horseback riding lessons just so he could spend some time with animals since we’re not likely to get another dog.

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This is his friend, Polka.

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Gabriel is adjusting to life in junior high, and the more intense swim practices that come as he grows. He was also promoted to first trumpet in the senior orchestra. (Super proud of him – he has an amazing sound). They’re going to play at a competition in the Netherlands in May.

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Yesterday after church, we did something unusual as a family. We went someplace.

We had lunch at a Parisian brasserie. Gabriel and I had an omelette with fries and salad – mushrooms for me, none for him. Juliet had a croque monsieur and salad/fries. William had the most enormous hotdogs on baguettes covered in cheese. They didn’t even bother with the salad – just threw in some fries. And Matthieu had a salade auvergnate with charcuterie, cheese, and baguette. Then for dessert, Matthieu and I had an espresso and two kids had homemade ice cream while Gabriel had fromage blanc with red fruit coulis.

Why am I telling you what we ate? Because food is important!

(It was very good, as random French brasseries often are).

These mischief-makers …

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Afterwards, we went to see my brother-in-law perform, who’s a professional actor. He’s so expressive you would have laughed even if you didn’t understand the French. We also got to see my niece and nephew (his kids) plus his ex and her new companion and his kid. Plus my mother-in-law. We took up a whole row. The afternoon was perfect.

When we came out of the theatre, it was beginning to snow.

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We headed toward the car, ready to be home and warm, and that’s when I accidentally walked into a gut-high metal post with an iron ball on top. I think it’s to keep cars out of pedestrian areas. I was trying to zip the sleeve back on Gabriel’s jacket as he was walking so I didn’t pay attention and I walked right into it. The ball part was bladder-level.

This is why I don’t go places.

And that brings us to today. Snow. Cold. Bleak. I couldn’t resist buying some herbs when I was out getting ginger. Three herbs for 3.99 because it was green and promised signs of spring.

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It will be spring eventually, will it not?

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Coconut Curry Chicken

This coconut curry chicken recipe is really quite simple, and as it’s something I make often, I thought I would share it with you, though it’s not in the least bit French. I dabbled with several variations until I found the perfect recipe, which ended up being an Epicurious recipe, and I only made slight modifications on that one. Instead of using crushed tomatoes, which I usually do, this one blends the ginger, onion, garlic mixture with the coconut cream before mixing it with the chicken to give even more taste. Brilliant! The result is divine.

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I added this much ginger (using my hand for size) and unless you’re really sensitive to the taste, even my kids thought it was perfect. And it just now occurred to me to mention that you need to peel the ginger before you mince it, in case you’re a ginger novice.

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I put the ginger, 6 cloves of garlic, and an onion in the Cuisinart and blended it all together. I then fried that in 2 tablespoons of coconut oil, although you could use a bland oil, like canola.

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When it started to stick, I just added some water rather than adding more oil. Then, when I had softened the ginger/garlic/onion mix, I stuck it back into the Cuisinart and added a can of coconut cream. I can’t remember the exact ounce / gram measurement of the coconut cream, but it’s the size of a Campbell soup can. (I know, I know – so scientific around here). I blended all that together.

I chopped up a yellow pepper (although I could have used red, orange, or even green if I’d had it) and stir-fried that in the skillet, which still had a little oil left.

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Then I chopped up about a pound and a half of chicken breast and stir-fried that too. I added a tablespoon of curry and a teaspoon of cumin, a teaspoon and a half of salt and another tablespoon of oil so it wouldn’t stick.

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When the chicken was thoroughly cooked, I added the coconut cream mixture and let that simmer for another ten minutes or so.

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Now here’s an optional step. You can add 2-4 teaspoons of sugar. I added four, and though it’s not the healthiest version of the dish, it’s quite appreciated by everyone who tastes it. So feel free to leave it out or to add it.

The original recipe called for mustard seeds and spinach and cashew nuts. I did add crushed, salted cashew nuts on top.

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And I made some broccoli on the side. If you need tips on making rice in a saucepan, have a look at my rice tutorial here.

And that’s it! A 20-minute mega-delish meal that your family will (probably) love. I had to stick the probably in there because you just never know with kids.

How are you guys? I’m slow these days. Writing and recuperating from more seasonal illness (sigh). But it’s always nice to be able to share something new here.

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Oh yikes, speaking of sharing, I almost forgot! If you’d like to read my memoir (and have not yet done so), it’s on sale for .99 this week instead of $4.99. I’ll put the links below.

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Available on Amazon US, Amazon UK, and Amazon CA.

 

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NOTE: My recipe plugin is not working right now, so here are the ingredients:

1.5 lbs chicken (about 850 gram), cut in pieces

ginger, as shown, 6 cloves garlic, 1 onion minced finely.

Cook the ginger, garlic, onion in 2 tablespoons oil (canola or coconut).

Return it to Cuisinart and add a can of coconut cream. Blend together.

Chop a pepper and fry it, then add the chicken and another tablespoon of oil and fry that.

Season it with a tablespoon curry, a teaspoon cumin, and 1.5 teaspoon salt.

When it’s cooked, add the coconut sauce and simmer another 10 minutes.

Optional: 2-4 teaspoons of sugar. Serve over rice.

IF YOU WANT MORE OF MY RECIPES CLICK HERE TO SEE THE LIST.

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Lemon Mousse Crumble

I’ve been wanting to make something light and fun to reflect the light and fun mood I’ve been experiencing lately. Why are you all light and sunny, you might ask? The only answer that springs to mind is vitamins. Don’t underestimate the power of vitamins.

Or lemons! Especially when you’re making lemony things on a winter day. You can fool yourself and think it’s summertime.

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Before I get to the actual lemon mousse crumble recipe, I have two author-related things to say. No wait, three! I have three author-related things to say. The first is that my romance has a new cover and it looks like this.

[image error]Woot, woot! I really love the new look. It looks more romantic, doesn’t it. And French. To celebrate, The Viscount of Maisons-Laffitte is on sale for .99 through Sunday, so if you haven’t yet gotten your copy, you can do so in these three places (each “Amazon” is a link):

Amazon.com, Amazon UK or Amazon Canada

The second thing is that I’m going to be putting out a more regular author newsletter. This is completely separate from my blog posts. Up until now I’ve only written a letter about two or three times a year – only when I have something new to say. But I found this community of writers (really good writers) who are sharing book promotions so I’ll be including free and discounted book deals in every newsletter.

The main type of books will be clean romance with a spattering of memoir, books about Paris, and regular romance (no erotica). If you’d like to get more book deals in your inbox, you can sign up for the newsletter, by clicking here. It’s my author website, and the sign-up form is on the right-hand side.

Click to sign up for my author newsletter.

Lastly, I hope to have something exciting to share in the way of new releases, but it’s too soon to say anything definitive. In anticipation of good news, I’ve created a FB fan page, again separate from the blog, which will be devoted wholly to books – my own and more of those book deals. I’ll be posting more frequently on the FB author page than I will be sending out newsletters. I’d be glad to have you like the page, and if you’re not interested in the book news, you can always click unfollow.

Click to follow my Facebook Author Page.

Now let’s get back to the lemons!

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I got the recipe from a French site here. It’s interesting because it said lemon curd is from Brittany. I’m not sure if that’s true because I saw an English site that said lemon curd was English. Considering the close ties between Brittany and Great Britain, I suppose it’s of no matter. Or it’s a little of both.

I made the lemon curd a day in advance, and I’ll include the instructions here. But if you want a truly easy recipe, you could always buy the lemon curd and have an instant dessert. This recipe makes double the lemon curd you will need, so if you don’t plan to make mini lemon pies, halve the recipe.

You’ll need four lemons. Zest two of the lemons and juice them. You can always zest a third lemon, then take little peel curls from the fourth one and set it aside before you juice the other two (more on that in a minute). I ended up just using other lemons for the extra zest.

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In case I lost you with my rambling lemon instructions, for the lemon curd itself you only need the zest of 2 lemons and the juice of four. Crack four eggs into the lemon mixture and whip them. Add 250 grams of sugar (1.25 cups) and whip that in too. Then you need 100 grams of cold butter (3.5 oz) cut into chunks. Put that in too.

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You need a double-boiler to heat the lemon curd, and I used a stainless steel bowl over a wok. Turn on the fire and start the timer. You need to stir the mixture the entire time for twenty minutes or else you get chunks of eggs in there. I listened to a podcast while I stirred and it ended up being fun. At first the mixture is quite liquidy.

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And then after twenty minutes it gets thick.

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Put the lemon curd into jam jars and refrigerate it. It lasts for a month in the fridge if you decide to use the whole recipe and keep the second jar for later.

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Now you’ve done the hard part if you’re making the lemon curd from scratch. Time for the easy part.

Not all cream whips well in France so I look for the ones that specify that it’s great for chantilly. To further help the whipping process, I put the beaters and the bowl in the freezer ahead of time.

You need 30 cl of heavy cream, which is about 1 1/3 cups. I made a detour from the recipe here and added 2 tablespoons of fine sugar and the zest of another lemon to add more colour and flavour to the cream. Whip that up, and add 250 grams of lemon curd, which is just under 1 1/4 cups – just about one jam jar, or half of the recipe you’ve made.

Another recipe detour I made was to skip the gelatine since I would have had to include it when the lemon curd was still warm. I had made it a day ahead of time and it was cold. It turns out I didn’t need that gelatine.

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Whip it all together. Now fill the glass ramekins (so you can see the layers – clear is better). I used a pastry bag, but you can spoon it in. Fill them about half-way with the mousse.

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It looks so white, doesn’t it? But there is a strong, delicious lemon flavor.

Then crumble a cookie in each ramekin – you could use cinnamon, sugar, or chocolate chip cookies. I used store-bought, GF chocolate chip. Then you sort of squish down the mousse with the cookie to make it more flat in order to get the second layer of mousse evenly distributed on top.

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Now let’s talk about quantity. I made 5 because it was for our family, but you need to have a really big appetite for that not to be too much. Either you’ve had a salad for dinner or you’re eating this for the middle of the afternoon snack break. But if you’re going to divide it into 6 (or for a really reasonable size) 8, use smaller ramekins so it doesn’t look like the mousse is puny in the dish.

Finally, top the dishes with the remaining mousse. You can decorate the top with another cookie, or those lemon peel spirals I was telling you about, or a piece of chocolate. I found really thin 70% chocolate wafers from Carte d’Or and used those.

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Doesn’t it look pretty? And a perfect dessert to impress your dinner guests?

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Or simply one to gobble up en famille.

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Yum!

Here’s to wishing you a really relaxing and joyful weekend. (Full of sun and lemony things).

Lemon Mousse Crumble   Print Prep time 20 mins Cook time 20 mins Total time 40 mins   Serves: 6-8 Ingredients 4 lemons juice zest of 4 lemons, divided 1¼ cup sugar (250 grams) plus 2 tablespoons, divided 100 grams butter (3.5 oz) 4 eggs 30 cl of whipping cream (1⅓ cups) 6-8 cookies, either chocolate or cinnamon chocolate and lemon peel spirals to decorate Instructions LEMON CURD Zest two of the lemons and juice all four. Add the zest and juice to a bowl with the eggs, sugar, and the butter cut in chunks. Heat it over a double boiler and stir constantly for 20 minutes. When it's thick, put it in pots and let it cool. Store in refrigerator. MOUSSE Whip the cream and add the zest of a lemon and 2 tablespoons fine sugar. Combine the lemon curd and cream. Fill the glass pots half-way full. Make a layer of cookie crumbles. Top the rest with cream. Use chocolate or lemon spirals to decorate if desired. 3.5.3229

If you’d like more French recipes, click here for my recipe index.

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Marriage Retreat Classes

Last weekend was the third marriage retreat organised by our Paris church, and the second retreat to be held in a nearby château. This year the château had removed the scaffolding from the façade so we were able to appreciate its beauty.

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The theme this year was “A Garden to Cultivate”, and the couple that leads the Geneva church came and taught the classes. They, along with the elder’s wives in our congregation, have been following an extensive,three-year curriculum in Christian counselling. Through the curriculum, they’ve been learning how better to shepherd people in their various stages of life and challenges.

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Nothing is better for boosting your marriage than a night away, right? You’re in different surroundings so you can’t fall into your usual habits. You’re away from the kids so you aren’t pulled by their needs. You dress up a little and eat delicious things in pretty places.

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Retreats provide this element of elegance and romance, with no distractions to pull you away from what matters – and that is, drawing closer to one another in intimacy and understanding.

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I have so many great pictures of our church family fellowshipping, talking, eating and dancing, but I didn’t want to include the photos without their permission. So you see here the room before it was filled with a chattering family.

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And people did chatter. Someone came over to ask our table to keep it down because we were laughing so hard. (No, I wasn’t the worst culprit).

The classes covered the basic principles of a couple, the conflicts, the communication, and the sexuality of a couple. And here, I thought I might share a few of the takeaways from the retreat with you.

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The Structure of a Couple

We share goals, ideals, values, passion, and romantic love. That’s what constitutes a couple. We’re also a unit designed by God.

Society’s view on marriage and its importance changes, but God doesn’t. In Matthew 10:4-6, Jesus said: “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’? So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”

We’re meant to leave our fathers and mothers, and join together with our spouse, and become one.

Leave. Join. Become.

We’re meant to become better together than we were before. Sometimes, conflict in our marriage comes because one of the spouses has not properly “left” their parents. Perhaps the mother is critical of the wife he has chosen. Or the father does not respect the husband she has chosen. The first priority should always be to protect the spouse, and not allow the parents to direct the relationship.

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According to Jaques Poujol in the 10 Keys of Marriage, there are phases common to all marriages, and it’s good to know what they are. For the first two years you’re in the fusional stage. You’re getting accustomed to joining your lives together. Then 4-5 years in, you’re in the territorial phase – who will take on what role in the marriage. (For instance, who takes out the garbage. It may be mundane but it’s necessary.)

By this point you will likely have had kids and have entered into the cruising phase. This is the 15-20 year period and it is the most busy, hectic, refining part of the marriage because it’s easy to neglect your relationship in order to tend to the more pressing needs or your family. (This is also usually when people’s careers are at their height, and when midlife crisis hits). I’m sure it’s no surprise that Matthieu and I are fully in this phase and we wonder if there will ever be a time when we are less busy.

And finally, there is the mature phase, around 30-40 years of marriage. Hopefully by this stage you will have built something strong in your marriage and will have weathered that hectic cruising phase.

So that’s just a brief summary of what makes up the structure and foundation of a couple. Now let’s get on to the interactions in a couple. (This is me, translating for the English-speakers).

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The Confict of a Couple

Conflict is simply an understanding that there’s a disagreement. In itself, it’s not a bad thing. For instance, look at the Tower of Babel in Genesis 11. They were all getting along fine! Who came and stirred things up? Or here, what Jesus said in Matthew 10:34-36

“Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to turn, “‘a man against his father, a daughter against her mother a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—a man’s enemies will be the members of his own household.’

God does not shy away from conflict because it is not, in itself, a bad thing. Conflict is like gas. Used properly, it can propel a vehicle forward. But light a cigarette nearby and you have an explosion. Conflict should be our gas – it can help us grow. (Or grow up in some cases).

Here are the root things that cause conflict in marriage:

A poor self-image. We under-estimate (or over-estimate) ourselves instead of looking at our true value through the eyes of God.
A lack of love. 1 Corinthians 7:3 says, “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.” I learned something really interesting about the word “duty”. In the retreat, they mentioned the Greek word eunoia  – which is the word for duty – and explained what it meant. For your purposes, I think it’s best expressed directly from Albert Barnes commentary:

The word which he uses εὔνοιαν eunoianbenevolence”) denotes kindness, good-will, affection of mind. And by the use of the word “due” ὀφειλομένην opheilomenēnhe reminds them of the sacredness of their vow, and of the fact that in person, property, and in every respect, they belong to each other.

1 Cor 7:13 can be misused to force a sexual duty, supposedly backed by the Bible, when in this case it really means for the spouse to render good-will, kindness, and affection of mind to their counterpart. Isn’t that great? Conflict comes when this eunoia is not put into play.

Submission and dominance. (Again, the Bible is often used improperly to force the women to subjugate herself to the man or to justify the man lording it over the woman. There is submission, but there is also biblical context (which I won’t elaborate on here, but which is very protective of women). And as for dominance, well, Jesus said, “The greatest among you will be your servant.” (Mt 23:11) Any dominance in the marriage that is done outside of love and servitude is a dominance taken out of biblical context.

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How did Jesus handle conflict? In three ways.

For the things that didn’t matter, he didn’t make a big deal about it. He did what needed to be done. (Go catch a fish and take the drachma owed out of its mouth and give it for your tax and mine – ref Mt 17:27)
For cultural things, he found a solution that did not compromise God’s holiness. (Healing the leper in Matthew 8, then telling him to give the offering Moses commanded).
For things that touched the essence of God’s holiness and our sanctity, Jesus was radical and violently protective. (The clearing of the temple in Luke 19 and the adulterous woman in John 8, as two examples).

In our marriage we need to understand the roots of our conflict – what is the hidden part of the iceberg? And we need to be flexible to let some things go, find solutions for other things, and for the essence and sanctity of the marriage and God’s holiness, we need to be completely radical and violently protective.

The Communication of a Couple

We talked about Johari’s window, and I think it’s worth looking at what that’s all about here. There are some sides to us only we see, and there are other sides only others see. The goal for healthy communication and transparency (as a person and as a couple) is to reduce the blind and hidden parts of ourselves, and expand the public and open parts of ourselves. The key to this?

Humility.

If you’re willing to be known you have to be humble enough to show more of yourself, and humble enough to let others reveal the things you can’t see in yourself. If you can grow in this, you will have more intimacy in your marriage. And God uses marriage to bring those hidden things to light and help us to approach the golden transparency we’ll all have as perfect souls in heaven.

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Three things to strive for when communicating as a couple – the three things we need:

gratitude,
to be listened to
& acceptance.

Three things to avoid in communicating – the three things that threaten intimacy:

orders (“you must do this”)
threats
& guilt.

Now, how does God handle communication? I mean, He knows everything, right? What’s the point of telling him, since he knows? Yet, God still tells us to “pray without ceasing”. He wants to hear from us and he wants to know what we think. If this is true of God, we can’t expect our spouses to know what we want without us telling them.

Even Jesus knows what we need, but he still asked people, “What do you want me to do for you?” Like the blind men in Matthew 20:31. Or the request of his disciples in Mark 10:36. God wants to hear from us, and he wants us to tell each other what we need. Communication and an open heart –  these are characteristics that come from God.

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The Sexuality of a Couple

There are just three things I want to say about this class that I found interesting.

The first is that sexual love is almost completely internalised for a woman, and it’s almost completely externalised for a man. We couldn’t be more different in how we approach sex. You probably already know that, right? But that means that each partner needs to be conscious of what the other person needs because it won’t be natural to meet the need. And we need to communicate our own needs well since the other is not likely to guess.
A more surprising difference (to me) is that sexual arousal ignites the parts of the brain that signal fear in a woman, whereas it extinguishes those parts of the brain in a man. Seriously. The roof could be caving in and he won’t even notice. What this means is that men need to give women time to talk through their fears in order for her to be in the mood. This is important if he wants her to be fully engaged.
There is one thing both men and women have in common when it comes to sex. Sexual love can only exist through the desire of the other. That puts you in a situation of complete dependence on the other person. This is like our dependence on God, and is also like his vulnerability in opening himself up to us – to risking our rejection. This is part of the holiness of marital union.

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The classes are helpful, but so, too, are all those conversations that happen when the men and women separate to talk about different issues, when couples get together with other couples over meals, and even when you and your spouse talk on the way home. You leave the retreat, ready to conquer the world.

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FURTHER REFERENCES

We saw this clip with French subtitles, and I thought you might like it. It’s not only funny, but very insightful. Here is Mark Gungor’s website and he has tons of humorous (helpful) references there.

(Also, if you’d like to read what I wrote about last year’s retreat, you can find it here).

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On Faith and Forcing It

This  morning I forced myself to go to the gym for the first time in 6 months. There was the tendonitis since August that prevented me, and just as I was starting to recover from that, I got a month-long bronchitis plus a few other infections. I suppose I should be glad they all came at once since I needed to be in bed anyway.

It’s hard to go back, isn’t it? But I got up early, dressed straight away in gym clothes, found the key cards – even turned the car in the right direction… And then I chanted to myself the whole way over, “I have to just go. I have to just go.” So I went. Only to find there was a van blocking the parking garage with no driver in it, and a guy behind me honking for me to move forward. I abandoned the cause and went home.

You’ve heard of walking pneumonia, right? You’re sick, but you can carry on as if you were well. You go to work, take care of your kids, run errands …

I figured out I must have something like that, only it’s walking depression. I’m perfectly functional, you see. Can get up in the mornings, cook dinner, take care of the family, shoulder responsibilities … but the zest is gone.

I don’t like to make small talk or be noticed in a crowd. I’m not motivated to start new projects. It takes an enormous effort to socialize. I even have trouble writing blog posts, unless it’s something impersonal like recipes.

I’ve been off medicine for a year and a half, and would kind of like to stay that way. I’d also kind of like to get my zest back. In the interim, I’m forcing myself to do things. Like going back to the gym when it requires being in public again. Here are some of the other things I’ve tried to do:

Join a group of English-speaking moms who plan to visit a new museum each month. I had to opt out of the first visit because my son was sick (and truthfully I, myself, wasn’t well enough to go yet).

Join an evening of karaoke with the moms in my town. The evening sold out before I could ascertain whether I was well enough, and as it turned out I wasn’t.

Join the English-speaking moms for a talk on health given by a local American doctor. I decided that the combination of just getting on my feet after being ill and it taking place in the evening, which is already hard for me, was too hefty a combination so I didn’t go.

Consider going to an upcoming meeting on improving our town. (Not sure yet. It’s in the evening).

Consider taking on a part-time subbing position at the local high school because they’re desperate for an English teacher, though I do prioritise my writing. (Still sitting on that one).

Driving to a nearby pony club for my son who would like to take a couple lessons during the school holidays, even though it means discovering new routes around the flooded areas of the Seine. I am going TODAY.

All this, and I have to really think through each and every new thing. Each thing requires investment and energy on my part, and I have to count the costs on whether I can overcome the mild depression and do it. Just writing requires investment and energy on my part. I force myself to sit down and get out 1000 words. While I’m producing them, I think, this is so boring, who would read it?

Only to go back later and say – okay yes, it’s a first draft, but it’s not awful. It’s just a first draft. It’s a lot easier to work with something on the page, than to stare at nothing. In all these things I have to keep going as if I had no “walking depression”. As if it were the natural thing to do.

Isn’t that sort of what faith is?

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I recently read the scripture when Elijah was taken up into heaven. Before he left, he kept giving his servant, Elisha, the opportunity to give up or go away, but Elisha refused. They traveled to Bethel, then to Jericho, then to the Jordan, and three times Elijah said, “Stay here.” And three times Elisha refused. He said “As surely as the Lord lives and as you live, I will not leave you.” It might have been loyalty, it might have been curiosity. But it required a certain degree of faith to go on.

And then this happened:

Fifty men from the company of the prophets went and stood at a distance, facing the place where Elijah and Elisha had stopped at the Jordan. Elijah took his cloak, rolled it up and struck the water with it. The water divided to the right and to the left, and the two of them crossed over on dry ground.

When they had crossed, Elijah said to Elisha, “Tell me, what can I do for you before I am taken from you?”

Elijah had already had a divine encounter at Horeb, the mountain of God. He had already fought against the prophets of Baal – courageously, and with great faith. His faith was so great, perhaps his striking the Jordan was a natural thing to do. After all, he had already raised a boy from the dead. Parting a river was small potatoes. (These stories appear in 1 Kings 17, 18 and 19).

But that wouldn’t have been true for Elisha. Until now, he had only served Elijah. And, apart from offering up his old life as a sacrifice to serve the prophet (1 Kings 19:21), he had yet to claim his own faith.

Yet he answered Elijah with this:

“Let me inherit a double portion of your spirit,” Elisha replied.

“You have asked a difficult thing,” Elijah said, “yet if you see me when I am taken from you, it will be yours—otherwise, it will not.”

As they were walking along and talking together, suddenly a chariot of fire and horses of fire appeared and separated the two of them, and Elijah went up to heaven in a whirlwind. Elisha saw this and cried out, “My father! My father! The chariots and horsemen of Israel!” And Elisha saw him no more. Then he took hold of his garment and tore it in two.

This is a poignant scene for me. It’s comforting to have people around who are heroes of the faith. It’s comforting to rely on their judgement in spiritual and worldly matters. But there comes a point when it’s just us and God. We need to walk out on a limb, go out on faith. Elisha had to keep going without his mentor:

Elisha then picked up Elijah’s cloak that had fallen from him and went back and stood on the bank of the Jordan. He took the cloak that had fallen from Elijah and struck the water with it. “Where now is the Lord, the God of Elijah?” he asked. When he struck the water, it divided to the right and to the left, and he crossed over. (2 Kings 2:7-13)

You know that faith is being sure of what you hope for and certain of what you do not see. Sure, he saw God split the Jordan for Elijah. But who’s to say he would do it for him? Elijah could only act on faith, and so he did. Boldly.

What’s that phrase? Go big or go home.

Elisha knew his faith all came down to the Lord and His Name. If the Lord was with Elisha, He would part the river on Elisha’s faith. “Where now is God?” he asked. Elisha acted on faith, but he still needed to take that first step. He still needed to force it.

And God answered.

When I read this passage, it was like a wind of fresh, hopeful air blowing through my spirit, and this wind propelled me forward. I still have to force it. I need to go to that pony club (right after I hit enter on this post). I need to decide about subbing positions and evening get-togethers, which take me way out of my comfort zone. I need to continue writing that next book.

I look at each temptation to stay put. To not force myself to move forward. “Stay here,” the temptation says. It’s comfortable and you need not trouble yourself with any sort of effort. But still I put my foot forward and resist the pull to stay. As surely as the Lord lives and you live, I will go.

Then step by step I find myself on dry ground. Step by step I find myself on the other side of the river.

 

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Capon Recipe

Although the holidays are long past and this is not a particularly blog-worthy post in terms of stunning photos, this capon recipe is worth sharing for future holiday meals. I’m also forcing myself out of isolation from an illness that has dragged on for weeks by sharing something that doesn’t require me having to think too much. I translated the recipe from here without making any changes, other than substituting my alcohol-free white wine for the cognac and gluten-free bread crumbs for the regular, and adding herbes de Provence as seasoning to the capon.

In case you’re still in the dark, a capon – chapon in French, pronounced sha-pawn, except you make the last bit all nasaly and don’t pronounced a hard n – a capon is a very large bird. Mine was 3.16 kilos, or 6.6 pounds.

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I made this dish for my parents-in-law on Christmas Day and was more focused on enjoying the day (and the food) than I was on creating perfect pictures. (Or really, any pictures at all). You’ve been warned! However, if you’re looking for a main dish to serve for the holidays, you can’t go wrong with this one and the instructions should suffice.

Take the bird out of the refrigerator 2 hours before you’re ready to cook it and snip any strings that are tying it together. Remove anything that might be stuffed on the inside, although I think they tend to do that for turkey more than chicken. Before you cook it, pre-heat the oven to 170°C (325°F). Then, take 2 tablespoons melted butter, and 2 tablespoons olive oil, mix it together, and massage it into the capon. Generously salt the bird, and less-generously pepper it, then spinkle herbes de Provence everywhere. At the risk of repeating myself here, make sure you massage all the seasoning into every nook and cranny, even the inside of the capon. It will taste better if the inside is seasoned too. (Sorry for the squeamish among you).

Now it’s time to make the stuffing.

You’ll need bacon, bread crumbs, milk, ground sausage, lemon zest, shallot, onion, parsley, eggs, wine or cognac, salt and pepper, and chestnuts. I’ll put the exact measurements at the bottom. I toasted my gluten-free bread (120 grams or 1/2 lb) and put it in the blender to grind it in pieces. Then I put it in a bowl with just enough milk to make the crumbs wet, but not liquid. I’m sorry I have no photos of the stuffing-making process. I didn’t intend to share this recipe on my blog until I actually tasted it and I knew I had to.

I lightly stir-fried 50 grams of bacon (4 or 5 pieces) and chopped them in pieces, adding that plus 200 grams of ground sausage (raw) to the bread-crumbs. Then the seasoning : zest from a lemon, 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/2 teaspoon pepper, a shallot and an onion minced, 20 grams of parsley, chopped, 2 eggs, a tablespoon cognac or (in our case, 2 tablespoons alcohol-free white wine). When this is all mixed together, add eight chopped chestnuts and stuff the whole thing inside the chicken.

Take a needle and thread and sew the opening shut. You can see below that the stuffing starts to expand a bit when cooking, but the black threads are keeping it in (and they’re also visible and easy to remove when you’re ready to serve the capon).

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Pour a glass of white wine and two glasses of water in the pan, and put it at the bottom of the oven at 170° C for one hour. Here it is after one hour – beginning to brown, but far from being ready.

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Throughout the 3 hours of cooking, you’ll want to take it out every 20-30 minutes and pour the juice from the pan over the capon to keep it from drying out.

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This is the first time I’ve successfully slow-cooked meat and I was really happy with the result.

When you’ve cooked the capon, the first thing you want to do is scoop out the stuffing and put it in a bowl. Make sure to remove all the thread from sewing it shut.

[image error]Then cut the capon into pieces (poultry shears are better than knives for this). I’ve given some instructions on how to do that here. More of the juice will be released when you cut it, and you can take the drippings from the capon and mix it in a saucepan with a little bit of cream – just enough to lighten it in colour. I put that in a gravy dish and poured it over the meat and stuffing when I served it.

Serve the capon piping hot with whipped sweet potatoes

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and green beans, stir-fried in garlic and butter.

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And with the stuffing, of course.

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And there you have your perfect, festive capon recipe! It’s so delicious, I promise you. Here is the handy print version, or you can just pin the image and save it for your next holiday.

What did you make for Christmas dinner?

Capon Recipe   Print Prep time 2 hours Cook time 3 hours Total time 5 hours   Recipe type: Holiday meat dish Cuisine: French Serves: 8 Ingredients 1 capon, around 3 kilos (6-7 lbs) 2 tablespoons melted butter 2 tablespoons olive oil salt, pepper, and Herbes de Provence for seasoning 1 cup white wine 2 cups water Stuffing: 50 grams bacon (4-5 pieces) 120 grams white bread, toasted enough milk to wet the bread 200 grams ground sausage (.25 lbs) zest from a lemon 1 shallot 1 onion 20 grams parsley 2 eggs 1 tablespoon cognac (I used 2 tablespoons alcohol-free white wine) ½ teaspoon salt ½ teaspoon white pepper 8 chestnuts Cream - ⅛ or ¼ cup to make the gravy A needle and thread Instructions Take the capon out of the refrigerator 2 hours in advance. Cut the strings. A half-hour before you're ready to serve, massage the capon, inside and out with butter and olive oil, then salt and pepper generously, and sprinkle with herbes de Provence. Preheat the oven to 170°C or 325°F and make the stuffing. Fry the bacon and toast the bread. Crumble the bread (I used a Cuisinart). Pour enough milk to wet the bread - a couple tablespoons should do it. Mince the onion and shallot and add those and the cooked bacon to the bread crumbs. Add to the bread mix the raw ground sausage, chopped parsley, 2 eggs, cognac or wine, salt and pepper, lemon zest. Mix that thoroughly with your fingers. Add the 8 chopped, cooked chestnuts. (Canned is fine). Stuff it inside the capon and sew the opening shut. Add a cup of wine and 2 cups water to the bottom of the pan. Cook at 170° for one hour. Then cook at 150°C (300°F) for 2 hours. Throughout the three hours' cooking, take the capon out every 20 to 30 minutes to pour the juice from the bottom of the pan over the top. When it's done, snip the threads you used to sew the capon shut and remove them. Take all the drippings from the pan and mix about ⅛ or ¼ cup heavy cream. Heat in a saucepan to form a gravy, 5 minutes or so. 3.5.3229

If you’d like to see more French recipes, click here for my recipe page!

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Bonne Annee!

In France, you can say Bonne Année throughout January. In fact, you should. The first time you see someone after the new year should include a bonne année, as well as a bonjour. You wish them a good start to the year, as well as a good year, overall.

Therefore, although it’s January 15, it’s not too late to wish you bonne année, and I do. I wish you a very good one, indeed. The beginning of 2018 kind of mocked me. I was cheerfully determined to put last year behind me with the months of tendonitis, the exams and PT to deal with, the exhaustion from busyness, and the bone-wearying patience required to put up with construction drama, delays, and (shudder) lawsuits.

Well, I was done with 2017. And then right before we rang in the new year, I started to feel poorly. Tired with heavy lungs. I went to SOS Medecins on January 1st and got antibiotics for asthmatic bronchitis. Then, as I was starting to feel well enough to get out around, I came down with a second infection that sent me straight back to bed. Here I am two weeks later and still feeling poorly. Apparently it’s not uncommon this season to be down with illness for weeks at a time.

My husband spent his two-week Christmas break building floors on either side of the new stairs so people won’t fall to their deaths.

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On this side, he needed to be creative. Because the upstairs is not done, this floor could not be fixed in place. He needed to create floorboards that were secure enough to hold the weight of a man (as a matter of fact, it’s solid enough to hold up to a ton), but that could also be removed when necessary in order to pass material up to the second floor, such as sheetrock. He designed it so the floorboard and all those planks can be removed.

Here’s the other side, which also had a dangerous hole. This side is fixed in place and is missing the parquet and a decorative sliver to cover that little hole there. Now I feel secure going up and down stairs.

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He’s clever, isn’t he?

I hosted a baby shower luncheon for my friend on Friday, all while feeling lousy. I’m glad I did, though, because she deserves some pampering. And she was sick enough to crack a rib from coughing so close to delivery, so clearly I have nothing to complain about.

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And I was intending to go to the Yves Saint Laurent museum this week with some other English-speaking moms (my resolution this year is to enjoy Paris more and go to museums once a month), but since the doctor said I should expect another two weeks of illness, I think I’ll just lie low.

And continue to send out bonnes années from my bed.

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