David Reamer's Blog
October 31, 2013
Down the Creek Without a Partner
We went trick-or-treating, of course, and my son got a ton of candy, of course. He just came in to kiss me goodnight and farted three times, interestingly the farts smelled like pumpkin, which reminds me that we carved the coolest spider pumpkin. I'll try to get a picture posted tomorrow. The other parents were nice. I tried making friends with one dad using as a topic of conversation an especially impressive tree right in front of us in the yard of one more generous neighbor filling my son's orange bag with lumps of sugar. It really was a wonderful, big, easy-to-climb and build-a-treehouse-in sort of tree. Possibly the most impressive tree I've ever witnessed outside of California's Redwood Forest and Mr. Miyagi's garden. Not a word of response. Whatevs. Why would I want to be friends with a guy who hates trees so much anyway?
October 24, 2013
How Can the Earth Create the Earth?
My son was on his chamber pot, as we've chosen to call it recently, and when he finished he told me, "While I was in there I was thinking, how does the earth create the earth? Air is easy, but the rest of the earth couldn't be easy to create. How does Earth do it, I was wondering." This while he was pooping. Who needs a magazine by the pooper when you think this big?
October 16, 2013
Familiar Faces - Enough Said
I went to see Enough Said starring Julia Louis-Dreyfus (Eva) and James Gandolfini (Albert). It was a very "real" kind of movie, touching, and funny. The funniest thing was I had to pee really bad through most of the movie. I couldn't escape to the bathroom because I didn't want to miss two minutes of this perfectly crafted movie.
Note to self: Don't forget to drink water all day, then drain two cups of tea and a quart of water just before a movie, okay?
The odd thing about the movie was how almost every actor was so familiar to my mind. Eva's daughter looked so much like Waylon Lewis's (Elephant Journal) girlfriend from when I used to see them at the Trident coffeehouse about seven years ago. Eva's daughter's friend looked just like my son's babysitter from last year before we moved. My son's babysitter was a 21 year-old bleach blond skinny kung-fu champion. We miss that kick-ass energy. Eva's best friend, Sarah (Toni Collette), is the spitting image of the woman who owns and operates a daycare called The Elm Tree, also named Sarah. It went on and on, as if everyone I knew from Boulder was appearing on the big screen while I stifled my desire to pee in a Coke cup.
Has that every happened to you, you're in a crowd of familiar faces wishing you could escape to the bathroom?
Beneath the Universe
Note to self: Don't forget to drink water all day, then drain two cups of tea and a quart of water just before a movie, okay?
The odd thing about the movie was how almost every actor was so familiar to my mind. Eva's daughter looked so much like Waylon Lewis's (Elephant Journal) girlfriend from when I used to see them at the Trident coffeehouse about seven years ago. Eva's daughter's friend looked just like my son's babysitter from last year before we moved. My son's babysitter was a 21 year-old bleach blond skinny kung-fu champion. We miss that kick-ass energy. Eva's best friend, Sarah (Toni Collette), is the spitting image of the woman who owns and operates a daycare called The Elm Tree, also named Sarah. It went on and on, as if everyone I knew from Boulder was appearing on the big screen while I stifled my desire to pee in a Coke cup.
Has that every happened to you, you're in a crowd of familiar faces wishing you could escape to the bathroom?
Beneath the Universe
October 14, 2013
Lost Wallet
After three years I finally finished my book "Beneath the Universe" Beneath the Universe
! I'm quite thrilled. This is my first post on Goodreads, so I’m excited. Thanks for taking a look at my blog, which is likely to be all about my son, because I’m so crazy about him. You’ll be shocked I’m the same writer when you read my book, because “Beneath the Universe” is a somewhat profane, dark, and ridiculously fun romp of a read.
My son and I rode our bikes to the library today. It was a pretty cold day, the coldest we’ve had since springtime. We live in a small town in Colorado. I like to think of it that way, as a small town. So what if it’s actually a working class suburb that used to be a quaint small town sometime before cars were invented?
We got all bundled up for a 45F ride, which I told him was perfect riding weather and he responded with, essentially, “Bullshit, Dad, it’s cold.” His actual words were, “It’s a little cold to me, Dad,” but I picked up on what was left unsaid. He’s learned to be a diplomatic little boy. Before heading outside he told me how he’d gotten a tractor for his birthday and he didn’t much like it but, “I told Johnny (name changed to protect the innocent) that I like it a lot so he would feel good.” (He normally is very honest about what he doesn’t love, so we had the discussion a few times about how new friends don’t know us really well so they might get us a tractor for our birthday but the important thing is the feeling of being friends, not an honest appraisal of the gift.)
After getting on our bikes, he with a little snowboarder’s helmet and old knit gloves with the fingertips worn and torn away, we headed north. He wasn’t having a blast, but he was enjoying being out of doors and on his bike. What kid doesn’t dig his bike? I should mention I was wearing nylon warm up pants with elastic ankles over my regular pants — I’m a wimp about cold weather, and very cool with the elastic ankles no doubt.
So when we came to the hill toward the elementary school, I said, “You’re gonna love this weather when you get going up this hill and get heated up. It’s perfect riding weather, I tell you.” This time he responded with, “Was that a canoe on top of that car?” And I had to respond with the admission that until the moment we turned the corner and I looked up and started talking about the weather, I had been focused on wrapping electrical tape on my handlebar grips while riding instead of watching the three thousand pound vehicles moving swiftly past us only five or six feet away. I had seen no canoe on top of a car because I hadn’t even seen a car. I was busy with electrical tape.
! I'm quite thrilled. This is my first post on Goodreads, so I’m excited. Thanks for taking a look at my blog, which is likely to be all about my son, because I’m so crazy about him. You’ll be shocked I’m the same writer when you read my book, because “Beneath the Universe” is a somewhat profane, dark, and ridiculously fun romp of a read.My son and I rode our bikes to the library today. It was a pretty cold day, the coldest we’ve had since springtime. We live in a small town in Colorado. I like to think of it that way, as a small town. So what if it’s actually a working class suburb that used to be a quaint small town sometime before cars were invented?
We got all bundled up for a 45F ride, which I told him was perfect riding weather and he responded with, essentially, “Bullshit, Dad, it’s cold.” His actual words were, “It’s a little cold to me, Dad,” but I picked up on what was left unsaid. He’s learned to be a diplomatic little boy. Before heading outside he told me how he’d gotten a tractor for his birthday and he didn’t much like it but, “I told Johnny (name changed to protect the innocent) that I like it a lot so he would feel good.” (He normally is very honest about what he doesn’t love, so we had the discussion a few times about how new friends don’t know us really well so they might get us a tractor for our birthday but the important thing is the feeling of being friends, not an honest appraisal of the gift.)
After getting on our bikes, he with a little snowboarder’s helmet and old knit gloves with the fingertips worn and torn away, we headed north. He wasn’t having a blast, but he was enjoying being out of doors and on his bike. What kid doesn’t dig his bike? I should mention I was wearing nylon warm up pants with elastic ankles over my regular pants — I’m a wimp about cold weather, and very cool with the elastic ankles no doubt.
So when we came to the hill toward the elementary school, I said, “You’re gonna love this weather when you get going up this hill and get heated up. It’s perfect riding weather, I tell you.” This time he responded with, “Was that a canoe on top of that car?” And I had to respond with the admission that until the moment we turned the corner and I looked up and started talking about the weather, I had been focused on wrapping electrical tape on my handlebar grips while riding instead of watching the three thousand pound vehicles moving swiftly past us only five or six feet away. I had seen no canoe on top of a car because I hadn’t even seen a car. I was busy with electrical tape.
