Santosh Jha's Blog - Posts Tagged "sadomasochism"
He Wished His Free Will To Redefine Wildness…
Mayank was very indecisive. He was subtly enjoying his moments of indecisiveness as it extended him the pleasure of having open options. Inside in his heart, there was this desire to allow the state of affair to linger infinitely. However, he knew it was a desire completely against the benchmark of success and goodness.
He also understood it that what he wished was an improper proposition in the eyes of society. Even his parents would not appreciate his indecisiveness. He was pressed hard to take a decision and as early as possible. That certainly irritated him.
‘What’s the big issue if I just want to do nothing’, he asked to himself. ‘What’s the problem if the only thing I wish to do is to sleep with my girl for days and night, holding her tight to my chest, kissing her a thousand times, savoring her body and soul, till I dropped dead? Do I trouble anyone? Am I asking anyone to give me bread and butter? God has given me enough! Why can’t I be left alone to be what I wish to be? Why should I be what others want me to be?’
He knew he was completely consumed by love. His instinctive sense of redundance and futility had just found a refuge in her love. And how beautiful and meaningful this refuge was! He warned himself that love too is ephemeral, like all good things in this mortal life; especially this lovingly suffocating intensity of her love at this point of time was very short-lived and he should not waste a single moment of it.
He wished to go crazy in love, do all sorts of madness in love. Nothing short of mundane and perfunctory aawargi (recklessness) would satiate his soul. He wished his free will to redefine wildness...restructure all dispositions that societal sense of gentlemanliness required. He desired his free will to recreate the universe, replacing the gravitational force with the far more powerful and purposeful force of love and unfettered intimacies. He just wished to be the 12-year old he was; the happiest and most free stage of his life when he was acultured.
(excerpts from ‘Back To Bliss: A Journey To Zero’, A Love Story In Catalytic Contemporary Culture Of Conflicts)
http://amazon.com/author/santoshjha
He also understood it that what he wished was an improper proposition in the eyes of society. Even his parents would not appreciate his indecisiveness. He was pressed hard to take a decision and as early as possible. That certainly irritated him.
‘What’s the big issue if I just want to do nothing’, he asked to himself. ‘What’s the problem if the only thing I wish to do is to sleep with my girl for days and night, holding her tight to my chest, kissing her a thousand times, savoring her body and soul, till I dropped dead? Do I trouble anyone? Am I asking anyone to give me bread and butter? God has given me enough! Why can’t I be left alone to be what I wish to be? Why should I be what others want me to be?’
He knew he was completely consumed by love. His instinctive sense of redundance and futility had just found a refuge in her love. And how beautiful and meaningful this refuge was! He warned himself that love too is ephemeral, like all good things in this mortal life; especially this lovingly suffocating intensity of her love at this point of time was very short-lived and he should not waste a single moment of it.
He wished to go crazy in love, do all sorts of madness in love. Nothing short of mundane and perfunctory aawargi (recklessness) would satiate his soul. He wished his free will to redefine wildness...restructure all dispositions that societal sense of gentlemanliness required. He desired his free will to recreate the universe, replacing the gravitational force with the far more powerful and purposeful force of love and unfettered intimacies. He just wished to be the 12-year old he was; the happiest and most free stage of his life when he was acultured.
(excerpts from ‘Back To Bliss: A Journey To Zero’, A Love Story In Catalytic Contemporary Culture Of Conflicts)
http://amazon.com/author/santoshjha
