Jonathan Liew's Blog, page 8

Palmer breaks goal drought as champions Liverpool beaten by Chelsea

There used to be a rivalry here, once. Two decades ago this was genuinely the most foreboding fixture in English football; a decade ago it was still deciding the destiny of league titles; five years ago it was still appointment viewing. Here, amid a fiesta of missed chances and offside flags, a deeply unserious Chelsea beat a Liverpool team that clearly couldn’t care less.

The score could have been 5-0 or 5-5 or 0-0 and frankly nobody would have been any the wiser. There was a guard of honour at the start. There were triumphal odes from the away end. Chelsea fans retorted with the Steven Gerrard song, and the “you’ll never get a job” song, and the “always the victims” song. What was it people were saying about football becoming ever more predictable, ever more rote, ever more uninspiring?

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Leicester v Southampton may be El Crapico – but it’s a game with meaning

Two worst Premier League teams still have something to play for, not least to recognise the resilience of their fans

They’re calling it the worst Premier League game in history. They’re calling it El Chaffico. El Crapico. The Derby Della Mediocre. They’re calling it the first Premier League game in which both teams somehow manage to lose. They’re posting memes of old men playing walking football and Sideshow Bob stepping on rakes.

They’re mentioning the fact that none of the three relegated teams have won more games against Premier League opposition than Paris Saint-Germain have. The fact that since Leicester scored their last league goal at home, Southampton have sacked a manager, appointed an interim, appointed a permanent replacement, sacked the permanent replacement and re-appointed the interim from earlier.

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Raphinha goes from missing man to Barcelona’s Ballon d’Or contender

The former Leeds forward was on the periphery but is now key to Hansi Flick’s team thanks to his hunger for goals

To score, first you have to learn how to miss. Raphinha, to be fair, misses a lot. Most common of all, perhaps, is the low screamer, dragged across goal with the left foot, disappearing into the advertising hoardings with an unseen thud as the goalkeeper calmly strolls off in search of a fresh ball. If you close your eyes and try to picture Raphinha missing, this is almost certainly the miss you are imagining.

But Raphinha can miss in a plethora of other ways, too. The wild slice at the back post is another favourite. The free-kick into the wall. The mistimed header sailing harmlessly over the bar and Raphinha has never been the greatest header of a ball, but he is going to keep making the run nonetheless, again and again, all night if he has to. If it feels weird to begin a discussion of one of Europe’s most prolific forwards by listing all the ways he can miss then one helps to explain the other. Raphinha is a winger rather than a pure striker, but the trait he has in common with all the world’s great goalscorers is the ability to prize volume over grace, to put the last miss out of his mind, to keep coming and keep shooting with a ruthless, relentless hunger.

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Mikel Arteta tells Arsenal players ‘do something special’ to beat PSG

‘We are more than capable of winning in Paris’Luis Enrique warns against complacency in second leg

Mikel Arteta urged his Arsenal players to “do something special in Paris” after losing the first leg of their Champions League semi-final 1-0 at home. Arsenal were disappointing in defeat, going behind early on and squandering good chances to equalise. But Arteta emphasised the “small ­margins” that would decide this tie, and urged his side to put in an improved display next Wednesday.

“I don’t know the percentage, but we have a lot of chances to be in that final,” Arteta said. “The time to do it is going to be in Paris. We are at half-time. My message is exactly the same as when we beat Real Madrid at home 3-0. We have to go to Paris and win the game and we are more than capable of doing it. You have two teams where the margins are so small.

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Ousmane Dembélé, last matinee idol in Paris, finally delivers on big stage | Jonathan Liew

The forward, often seen as a remnant from the decadent PSG of old, scored the biggest goal of his career at Arsenal

For Paris Saint‑Germain, the final whistle arrived like an orchestral fanfare. Exhausted, sweat-drenched players sank to their knees; emotional embraces were shared; the knot of visiting fans in the south-east corner of the Emirates flung scarves in the air and noisily serenaded an epic, razor-thin triumph. It was at this point that Ousmane Dembélé re-emerged from the bench and strolled across the pitch, wearing flip-flops.

And as visual motifs go, this one felt pleasantly on the nose. Of course Dembélé’s work here was long since done: an early goal to settle the game before being withdrawn by Luis Enrique on 70 minutes with a hint of a knock. And yet, on a night defined by screeching and suffering, brusque tackles and hard lines, Dembélé somehow managed to elevate himself above the fracas, the only man playing the game on the easy setting.

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Jofra Archer’s form and swagger is back. Can he bloom for England again? | Jonathan Liew

Fast bowler was unfairly demonised by beige fans but has just turned 30 and is honing his skills for a tough summer

This season, in an attempt to distract everyone from the fact that its main sponsors are one of the world’s largest steel companies and the literal state of Saudi Arabia, the Tata Indian Premier League has been planting trees for every dot ball bowled during the tournament. At the post‑match presentation, the bowler who delivered the most dot balls in the game is awarded a ceremonial sapling. Which means that on four occasions this season – the most of any player – Jofra Archer has been contractually obliged to receive a small tree on live television.

The first time Archer gets his sapling, he eyes it with the kind of narrow-eyed suspicion any of us might exhibit. By the time he gets his fourth sapling – 10 dot balls against Delhi Capitals, 180 trees planted – he’s basically a pro at this. Shake hands. Look straight into the camera. Gaze at the sapling tenderly, as if he’s going to plant it himself, in his own garden, sheltered and watered, and definitely not throwing it straight into the first bin he finds.

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Barcelona show their maestro quality on blue Sunday for outmatched Chelsea | Jonathan Liew

Spanish giants show class against elite Women’s Champions League opponents, but Chelsea face more soul-searching

Clàudia Pina scores. You know it’s a good goal because the moment it hits the net, Barcelona’s substitutes scramble forward to the front of the dugout, desperate to watch it again on the replay screen. Meanwhile, a few yards away Sonia Bompastor turns to the Chelsea bench and smiles weakly. A yeah-fair-play smile. A what-can-you-do smile.

Pina’s goal makes it 7-1 to Barcelona on aggregate, there are still more than 45 minutes to play, and we have reached the point in this Champions League semi-final when it almost begins to feel rude that Uefa insisted Barcelona fly over to play this second leg. Imagine the aircraft emissions and single-use plastic glasses that could have been saved simply by abandoning the pretenice that this was a meaningful contest.

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Chelsea 1-4 Barcelona (2-8 on agg): Women’s Champions League semi-final – as it happened

Barcelona repeated their first-leg scoreline on a chastening day for Chelsea at Stamford Bridge.

Barcelona kick us off and move the ball from left to right.

There’s a minute of silence to commemorate the life of Pope Francis.

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Mohamed Salah: a bridge between worlds in Liverpool

The Egyptian is more than simply a role model in his adopted home, he speaks to the city’s broader mythology

There are occasional sightings of him around the city. A face is glimpsed; perhaps climbing out of a car, perhaps stepping into a mosque. A phone is surreptitiously brandished. The rumour spreads like fire. Pretty quickly these sightings take on the status of urban myths; brief brushes with the divine. There was the time he was at a petrol station and decided to pay for everyone’s fuel. There was the kid who chased after his car, went smack into a lamppost and now boasts a photograph of himself with a lavishly bloodied nose, and Mohamed Salah’s arm tenderly clasped around his shoulder.

A few weeks ago, with that new contract still unsigned, a rumour spread around the city that Salah was out at the docks filming content for the club’s media channels. Invariably by the time the crowds arrived he was gone. For the people of Liverpool, their greatest footballer is someone really only seen in snatches: a blur, a whisper, a trick of the light. And if this is partly the nature of celebrity, then it is worth pointing out that this is also how a lot of Premier League defences have been experiencing Salah this season.

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Pundits’ showy partisanship reflects football’s embrace of fan-centric populism | Jonathan Liew

The coverage of Manchester United’s win over Lyon last week was just the latest sign that fandom is consuming everything

Impartiality fan here – for my sins! – but you have to say Robbie Savage and Rio Ferdinand during the closing minutes of Manchester United v Lyon on Thursday night were absolute class. It all starts in the 118th minute, with United 6-5 down on aggregate, and the TNT Sports camera lingering on the face of a crying boy in the crowd. “Let’s hope we can put a smile on that young man’s face by the time we finish,” the commentator Darren Fletcher says.

And it’s worth unpacking those 17 words, because contained within them are at least three layers of assumption. Foremost among which is the assumption that it would be a good thing, all round, if United won. The child is crying. Is there any cause more catholic or universal, any image more reliably guaranteed to tug at the tear ducts, than a crying child? The coefficient can wait for now.

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