Jonathan Liew's Blog, page 12

Stunned Liverpool sent crashing out of FA Cup in major upset at Plymouth

And on this whistle, unleash chaos. Nobody really knows how Plymouth Argyle managed to survive those nine minutes of injury time at the end, those interminable minutes when hearts were pounding and nerves were shredding and it felt like not just Conor Hazard’s goal, not just Home Park, but Plymouth itself, was under siege.

Just as nobody had really seen this coming: the team rooted to the foot of the Championship, hosting perhaps the best team in the world right now, and sending them spectacularly to the canvas. Ryan Hardie’s penalty early in the second half was the difference between the sides, and even then nobody really believed. But as those nine minutes ticked away, one of the greatest shocks in the modern history of the FA Cup felt agonisingly close and agonisingly elusive all at once.

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Federico Chiesa’s Liverpool moment edging closer in Slot’s patient plan

Arriving with no pre-season, the Italian appeared ‘left behind’, but could now be unleashed for the gruelling run-in

Andy Robertson remembers vomiting the first time he ever did the lactate test. He was 23 years old, had just arrived from Hull and considered himself in pretty good shape. Until, that is, he was made to run Jürgen Klopp’s sadistic pre-season gauntlet for the first time.

Basically, you do laps of the training pitch. The required pace gradually quickens, in the manner of a bleep test. Unlike in a bleep test, however, at regular intervals a member of Klopp’s medical staff will come over, puncture your ear and – ew – extract a sample of blood from it. High lactate levels indicate fatigue; too high and you’re done. Pretty soon Robertson was feeling queasy. He started gagging. Full discharge followed soon after. It may not surprise you to know that James Milner won the Melwood lactate test eight years running.

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Liverpool smash Spurs to reach League Cup final – Football Weekly Extra

Robyn Cowen is joined by Barry Glendenning, Lucy Ward and Jonathan Liew as Liverpool make light work of the League Cup semi-final second leg against Tottenham

Robyn Cowen is joined by Barry Glendenning, Lucy Ward and Jonathan Liew as Liverpool make light work of the League Cup semi-final second leg against Tottenham Hotspur.

Rate, review, share on Apple Podcasts, Soundcloud, Audioboom, Mixcloud, Acast and Stitcher, and join the conversation on Facebook, Twitter and email.

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Total Bruno sucks Arteta’s side into turf war and leaves them beaten and bruised | Jonathan Liew

Bruno Guimarães inspires Newcastle to the Carabao Cup final by honing in on Arsenal’s breaking points

Bruno Guimarães is writhing on the turf. Could be trouble, this. He almost seemed to spin through the air as Myles Lewis‑Skelly clipped him. Landed awkwardly. Still down. Clutching his calf, and maybe his rib too? The Newcastle physios crouch expectantly at the touchline. Eddie Howe wears a concerned expression. Referee Simon Hooper brandishes a yellow card.

At this, as if suddenly possessed by a bolt of divine grace, Guimarães slowly rises from his slab and accepts the benedictions of his teammates. Less than 45 seconds later, he will be sprinting at full pelt towards the edge of the Arsenal penalty area and playing an outrageous no‑look pass to Joe Willock with the inside of his heel. Miraculously, Bruno Guimarães has cheated death again.

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Cricket’s going bananas: nothing is real at Hundred auction but it still costs £145m | Jonathan Liew

Forget runs, wickets and boundaries. Brazen billionaires just invested in the sport’s most bizarre art form: the idea of a team

Five years ago an artist named Maurizio Cattelan bought a banana from a grocery store in Miami and taped it to the wall of a gallery. People came to look at the banana. People wanted selfies with the banana. The banana divided opinion. Some were affronted and insulted by the banana. Some applauded the artist on his clever subversion of traditional artistic tropes. Either way, pretty soon everyone was talking about the banana.

In November 2024, the banana – not the same banana, obviously, but a fresh banana bought that morning – was taken on a global publicity tour to drum up business before its auction at Sotheby’s. After a frenzied bidding war, the banana was bought for about £5m by Justin Sun, a cryptocurrency investor. Shortly afterwards the winning bidder called a press conference and, in front of the watching media, promptly ate the banana. “It’s much better than other bananas,” Sun said. “It’s really quite good.”

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Omar Marmoush rides the rhythm to set the tempo for Guardiola’s new beat

The Egyptian adds another gear to Manchester City’s shift to more direct play with a short-passing game as backup

Everything is new. Everything is different. Omar Marmoush steps off the plane at Manchester Airport and what greets him is a kind of sensory overload. He peers through blacked-out windows of his chauffeured car at the city he now calls home. “What are the names of the supermarkets?” he asks. “Tesco,” comes the reply. “Asda. Sainsbury’s. Aldi.”

On the pitch, it’s a similar story. “He has something special,” Erling Haaland confirms after a dynamic debut against Chelsea last Saturday night. “He’s going to be a fantastic player for us. It’s about getting to know him as soon as possible, because there are so many important games coming.”

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This is Ratcliffe’s Austerity United, where even the brightest talent is for sale | Jonathan Liew

Manchester United are simultaneously the world’s fourth-richest club while taking away free cereal bars for stewards

Bad news for Marcus Rashford, who was described by Ruben Amorim last week as being so poor in training that he would rather play his goalkeeping coach. Great news, on the other hand, for new 63-year-old wide forward Jorge Vital, now weighing up a number of offers from Serie A and Saudi Pro League clubs, and whom Manchester United are hopeful of shifting from the wage bill before the end of the transfer window.

For this cash-strapped theatre of ghosts, trying to build its new cast of dreams on the bones of the old, perhaps every pound helps. Corporate box guests at Old Trafford no longer get a free match programme each and are instead invited to download the dictated thoughts of Amorim via a QR code. Free cereal bars for matchday stewards were cut at the beginning of the season. The annual £100 staff Christmas bonus was replaced by a £40 M&S voucher. Concessionary tickets for children and the senior citizens were temporarily withdrawn.

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Savinho’s chest of the century caps Manchester City’s night of wild mood swings | Jonathan Liew

It may have been a tricky Champions League campaign for Pep Guardiola’s side so far, but they live to fight another day

The best moment of this game came 13 minutes from time, and will almost certainly be forgotten to history. Savinho brings down John Stones’s long ball with his chest and lashes the ball home, and of course this is the part that matters: Manchester City 3-1 up and safe at last. There is no Fifa Best award for “Greatest Chest Control of the Year”. But there should be.

It was, quite simply, one of the great chest touches. The perfect spot on the breastbone: not too much rib, not too much nipple. Just the right amount of give in the torso to send it forwards, not up or down: the ball not so much cushioned as sprung. Because now the ball is sitting up beautifully, and Simon Mignolet can probably do better at his near post but that’s hardly the first time we’ve said that.

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Rage against the refs has become the norm but surely we can do better? | Jonathan Liew

Myles Lewis-Skelly’s red card for Arsenal against Wolves sparked fury and officials are now under exhausting scrutiny

Well, obviously we need to talk about that Myles Lewis‑Skelly red card. Shall we have another look at it? Right there, you can see the point at which Michael Oliver’s ego makes contact with his anti-Arsenal bias. If you roll the tape forward a few seconds, you can see a clear movement of content creator towards webcam. But actually, if you look at it from the next angle, you could argue that under the current interpretation of technocratic surveillance capitalism creeping across many late-democratic western societies, it’s actually six of one and half a dozen of the other, Jeff.

Occasionally, and usually by accident, I will find myself in a conversation about referees. I can never keep up with them. Largely this is because most football fans have an uncannily encyclopaedic recall of every referee who has ever slighted them: their name, their home town, the full rap sheet, the exact look on their face when they waved away an appeal for a stonewall penalty at the Hawthorns in 2016. “Yeah, Darren Bond’s always had it in for us,” someone will say, and I can only nod dumbly.

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Big details costing Arsenal as Chelsea leave London rivals feeling blue | Jonathan Liew

Defeat at Stamford Bridge hits WSL title hopes and casts doubts over their killer instinct on and off the pitch

It’s the hope that kills you. Also conceding 21 shots on goal including six big chances: to be fair, that kills you. Also leaving Lauren James one-on-one with your defender, who inconveniently isn’t actually a defender: that also has a tendency to kill you. Also, the needless red card for lipping the referee. Also, not taking your own chances. Also, going into the game seven points behind in the first place. Regrettably, all fatal.

Arsenal will grouse and Arsenal will grumble. Arsenal will sigh over small details and mutter deep-state conspiracies about refereeing standards. But Arsenal are also done. Chelsea’s first league double over them since 2019-20 also marks the factual end of what we technically, and generously, have to call their challenge for the 2024-25 Women’s Super League title.

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