Cyndy Aleo's Blog - Posts Tagged "undying"

subtitled: how and why I ended up self-publishing when I swore I’d never do it.

UNDYING: The book that wouldn’t leave me alone.
So here’s what happened. I wrote this book 2+ years ago. And, you know. That can be kind of a big deal, I guess. I wrote 50,000 words of it during NaNoWriMo in 2010, and then wrote more after that.

In 2011, I submitted it to Amazon’s Breakthrough Novel Award contest. Not because I thought it would win, but because I felt my betas were being too nice about it. I was hoping to get it in front of the Vine reviewers and get some good feedback and I could edit it more.

Of course, then it made it to the quarterfinals, and I had a lovely, if not giddy, Publishers’ Weekly review.
The problem was, I knew it wasn’t right, and I ripped out over half the book and started over. When I had it all done, I started querying agents. And figured it would be a slam dunk. I mean, I had a lot of full requests (this is A Good Thing, for those of you unfamiliar with this process).

Trouble was, none of them wanted to represent it. I had one agent who sent a rejection that made even crocodile-thick-skinned me sob into my Corn Flakes, but later I did see that meant she was SUPER invested in what happened to the characters, and they didn’t do what she wanted them to. I fixed some of the things I felt she was right about, and left others I thought she was wrong about.

But everyone else? Nothing. There was never anything they told me that I’d be able to fix. One said it was good but wasn’t “big” enough for a debut. Which I appreciated, but now there’s a new release that has a VERY VERY similar plot that’s going to be a bestseller this week and is going to be a TV series.

Which makes my book unrepresentable.

I mean, my book is different. There’s no apocalypse. This is a sweet little book that focuses on people. Just one couple. And there’s more of this story in my head, but that whole story is a dead end if the first book just sits on my hard drive. So I had a choice: sit here and stew in my pity party of one, or put my book out there and hopefully make a few bucks.

But seriously. This isn’t my first rodeo. I’ve written other books in other NanNoWriMos. Some I recycled into fan fiction. Some sit on my hard drive, languishing away. But this one was special and I really felt something about it and I wanted it to have its day, even if it’s a very small day.

I’m okay with that.

And hey, Petey needs two new pairs of dance shoes.
No pressure, but if this sounds interesting, and you want to at least read the blurb, thank you. You don’t have to buy it. You can download a sample if you just want to see if I can use apostrophes correctly. (The answer, BTW, is yes).

Thanks for reading this far, and if you don’t mind, wish me luck.

(See my Twitter for a contest related to this post, running Friday, 6 September 2013.)

I wouldn’t be me if I wasn’t writing to music. I start putting a playlist together for Undying when I’m outlining and refine it as I go. I stick with it all during the editing process so that I have that immersive experience that I had when I was originally writing.

Undying Playlist

If the playlist doesn’t work (or you can’t use Spotify), here’s the list in text form:

Death Came and Got Me * Rosie Thomas
Spirit or Something * Monogold
I Won’t Cry * My Morning Jacket
Falling * The Civil Wars
Dancing Ghosts * Azure Ray
Tiger Mountain Peasant Song * Fleet Foxes
Hard Believer * First Aid Kit
Poison & Wine * The Civil Wars
Dear Darkness * PJ Harvey
Every Night My Teeth Are Falling Out * The Antlers
Atlas Hands * Benjamin Joseph Leftwich
Something’s Turning Over * Low
Undertow * Warpaint
A Girl, A Boy, and a Graveyard * Jeremy Messersmith
I Know Places * Lykke Li
Hot As Day * Wye Oak
We End Up Together * The New Pornographers
Hide Yours, I’ll Hide Mine * Bobby Long
The Silent Day * Shellyean Orphan
Bells and Whistles * The Spring Standards
Infinite Arms * Band of Horses
We Are The Same * Samantha Crain
I Just Don’t Think I’ll Ever Get Over You * Colin Hay
I Don’t Want To See You * Camera Obscura
Another Sad Song * Lower Than Atlantis
Afraid of Everyone * The National
Try To Sleep * Low
All Alone in an Empty House * Lost in the Trees
C’est la Mort * The Civil Wars
I Would Trade (Grandpa’s Song) * Clarensau

In some ways, I'm glad that Emily Helck's story has gone viral via Mashable. Because, you know, it's October, and sometimes the whole breast cancer awareness thing needs a human face on it instead of just pink slapped all over everything.

Unfortunately, Emily's story isn't the first. And it won't be the last. Before her came Kerry Mansfield's Chronicle of a Mastectomy, which is one of the most gut-punching photo essays I've seen. And there was Adriene Hughes' (the name is just a coincidence; I found her today when I was hunting links for Jen Merendino and Kerry Mansfield's stories) documentation of her 2004 battle with breast cancer. And the most painful one: Angelo Merendino's documentation of his wife's fight -- and death. Angelo is a real-life Cam for me. I hate that there are countless Cams out there.

Because the pink on everything isn't doing everything.

There are still women, like the Adrienne in my book, who are diagnosed pre-menopause, and there are a lot of young women out there who don't think they need to do breast self-exams and be vigilant. My mother had pre-menopausal breast cancer. I have a friend who is fighting now, who is my age, and has been fighting for years. And I lost a college friend who left behind young children when she died in her early 30s.

Breast cancer rates are on the rise in black women. Yes. On the rise. Going up. An increasing number of black women will be counted among the deaths this year, simply because awareness and screening are not as prevalent among Cultures Other Than White. The pink campaign is not targeting African-American women. Or Latinas. And we need to change that.

Men get breast cancer, too. And in that sea of pink, are you seeing any outreach toward educating men about signs, symptoms, and screening? I'm not either.

And lastly, for every Angelina Jolie, who could not only afford the genetic screening (which is thousands of dollars and not covered by many insurance companies) but also prophylactic mastectomy, there are those of us who still don't have insurance. I'm lucky in that my community has a program for low-income, uninsured women to get screened. More resources can be found online.

Breast cancer is very real to me, and very personal. It's probably why I used it as the subject for my novel. But I'm even more passionate about things like getting health insurance for everyone, something that shouldn't be on the table in the current ridiculousness going on in Washington. And in getting "awareness" to the point where everyone is aware, not only white women. And a future in which my October no longer turns pink.

If you don't know what NaNoWriMo is, it's National Novel Writing Month, and it begins 1 November.

The challenge: write 50,000 words in one month, "completing" a novel in those 30 days.

I've done NaNo every year since 2007 (except for last year). Two uncompleted novels were turned into fan fiction. My first completed novel (2009 now that I look at it) was Undying, and by "completed" I mean I wrote 50,000 words. It turned into 80,000 during the first few edits, then dropped to 40,000, then finally ended up at a bit over 86,000 words by the end.

I didn't finish in 2010, but I had the germ of an idea (it originally involved aliens) that I turned into a New Adult folk mythology novel that I'm hoping to have out as my next release.

2011 was another bad year, and in 2012, I'd just lost my job (which, to be honest, was a bad fit, but still... lost my job) and I didn't participate at all.

My goal for this year is to finish the sequel to Undying (called Unfinished, no pun intended) so I can have that ready for release next spring. It's outlined and I'm raring to go, but can always use the external conscience of the masses to keep me going. 50,000 more words in 30 days is a killer pace, so if you help me, I'll help you. It usually gets bad in the same place novels do: in the soggy middle.

Won't you be my buddy? http://nanowrimo.org/participants/fourlittlebees

Those of you who've known me for a while know that odd things please me. Two awesome things happened this week: a low rating of the book coming from a country where the book isn't available (a twofer! Book pirating AND a negative rating! People are SEEKING ME OUT to dislike me. Also, someone other than family/friends read my book!)

The other is that Undying made its first list here on Goodreads. The best part? It's a dubious distinction; the list is Authors Who Used to Write Fan Fic.

Again, those of you who know me know how much this entertains me.

That being said, it's currently tied for 20th with the likes of Cecilia Tan and S.E. Hinton, so you know I'm going to squee even if it's an odd little list, but if you'd like to vote for FORMER FAN FIC AUTHORS, click here.

I'm happy so long as my book is higher on the list than FIFTY SHADES.

LASTLY, for those of you who are interested in, or want to learn more about, fan fiction, I have an essay in an AMAZING book coming out this December. It's edited by Anne Jamison, who is super-smart but also really good at sorting the wheat from the chaff when it comes to "need to know" information, and includes famous people and NYT and USA Today bestselling authors, and yes, little old me. So check out FIC: WHY FANFICTION IS TAKING OVER THE WORLD.

For those of you who downloaded Undying in the first few days after release, you know there were several typos and some formatting issues.

I'm horrible about letting things go, and I kept editing AFTER I had the book edited, meaning I introduced new errors (and a few formatting issues as well).

I can't live with a book like that, however. Yes, even big publishers often have books with typos in them, but to have several errors is simply not my style. Not when people are paying for my book.

As such, I fixed them. I've been updating the file every time I caught something (or someone caught something for me), but those who purchased the book in the first few days have the most errors in their copies.

I asked Amazon if they would kindly push that update out to buyers. If you already have notes and things highlighted and can live with the errors, feel free to keep the copy you have. If you do want everything corrected, however, you have to follow the directions in the email you should have received from Amazon to download it; even having automatic updates turned on won't do it for you for this one.

As always, thank you so much for your support. Those of you waiting for the iBooks/Nook/Kobo version, please thank your Amazon-purchasing neighbors for suffering through the kinks while I put this first book out.

I have some exciting things coming up in the next couple of months, so stay tuned! I can't wait to share them with you!

Halloween is my very favorite day.

I have no idea why, but I love it. I love costumes and candy and kids scaring the crap out of each other and Tim Burton movies and pumpkin seeds and everything about it.

EVERYTHING.

And I want to share my Halloween with everyone.

SO, if you are that person who’s been waiting for a price drop on my book, TODAY IS YOUR LUCKY DAY. And it’s going to be your only lucky day. For today (and today only), because it is Halloween, you can download the Kindle version of UNDYING for free. (This goes from 12 AM PST to 11:59 PM PST on 10/31. Ish. Depending on Amazon’s vagaries.)

Think of it like you coming trick or treating to my house, and I give you a book instead of a candy bar.

Of course, if you want the dead tree version, you can still buy that one, and it ALSO comes with a free Kindle version thanks to Kindle MatchBook.

If you already read it? Did you like it? Do you want other people to read it? Go ahead and gift away. Make like those parents who bring their truckloads of kids to the neighborhood where they give out full-sized candy bars instead of the fun size.

On 11/1, Dia de los Muertos, the book returns to its regular price, so move fast, and HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

(I’m going as Mr. Black from Diane Setterfield’s upcoming Bellman & Black: A Ghost Story. Are you dressing up?)