Tina Webb's Blog, page 3

Resolve of the Battle-Weary

Oppressive conditions like educational inequality, sexual harassment, and salary disparity bring anger, bitterness, as well as practical challenges.  Can you imagine the hurdles that many women in the workforce face? Having to prove worth is mentally and emotionally exhausting. 

Some of the emotion we see on social media comes people who easily identify with the frustration that this oppression brings.  The single mom contends for a pay raise. A minority male applies for a promotion. A rural teen competes against prep school peers for an internship at a law firm. A maze of complex social structures makes it almost impossible to escape an unfavorable environment or condition. What can one person do in the face of an entrenched system? The feeling of being trapped is infuriating.

The need to escape life-destroying mechanisms affects more than those in the workforce or those trapped by poverty or economic disadvantage.  It affects families, communities and whole nations. Bitterness brews in anyone who is held captive by their surroundings, the nets of the wicked (Psalm 141:10), or the opinions of others. 

The solution is to recognize and take ownership of personal destiny and unhealthy groupthink. 

Any system, mandate, curriculum, or culture where destructive ideas become normalized will awaken those whose hearts are wired to tear down anything that contradicts individual prosperity.  Heroes and heroines like George Washington Carver and Harriet Tubman sparked change in their spheres and prompted others to oppose systemic entrapments. “Awakened” people prompt the defying of what has become acceptable but is as destructive as a wolf dressed as a lamb. What remains hidden retains the power to destroy. These countercultural men and women challenge the benefits of what has been or is becoming the status quo.

What remains hidden retains the power to destroy.

These awakened ones contend. This battle occurs in many families and communities and the brushfires are stoked by sinful and demon-inspired mindsets.  These culture changers are not angels, but they welcome the help of the good ones! The objective is divine: destroy strongholds and shift systems to bring freedom, vitality and to respect autonomy.

To their chagrin, these courageous souls are often alienated and ignored. Introducing better ways of thinking or living to an entrenched and often maintained culture is not easy.  

God shine Your light. Awaken us and may we humbly confess our part in maintains broken systems, hidden traps and destructive ideas.

 

Available where books are sold.

 

Next Mentoring Series This Fall:“CHANGING THE TIDE” 

Learn how to guide your children and teens toward a scripture-centered worldview. Discover how to impart Biblical truth and Christ’s love to your neighbors and localities.

Torn and Unraveled: A Mother’s Hard Lesson

“I hate you!” The turmoil inside my child was off the charts. I hadn’t realized that the bad behavior my husband and I had dealt with lately was a symptom of the  emotional “lava” bubbling in their soul. They’d been bullied years before. The loss of people dear to our child  hadn’t helped. It’s hard for a hurting child to make sense of new job opportunities and going away to college.

Unraveled. That’s how I felt during that season. Instead of responding in gentleness, I’d begun to react to this child in fear and anger. So after I heard “I hate you”, I was relieved. I heard the words but more importantly I looked into their eyes. God shined a light and I realized that wise discipline does nothing to a broken soul.

Besides prayer the next months were a crash course in tending to the emotional landscape of a hurting child AND letting God cultivate our souls as well. In this 3 hour webinar Doug and I focus on healthy ways to demonstrate and process anger, disappointment, grief, and vulnerability in family life. Here’s an excerpt:

To purchase the complete recording: https://tinawebb.net/shop/

To hear the rest of this story, purchase the audio version of Cultivating the Souls of Parents. This audiobook is read by Tina and offers extra material.

Ebook is available as free gift.

Print version available everywhere books are sold.

Navigating Emotion in Family Life

Why can’t we all just get along? Moms and dads. Grandparents. Children. Siblings. Conflict within family life is unavoidable. Therefore, we must learn how to manage our own emotional discord and give our children the tools to mature in a way that promotes emotional health. Too often, relational discord in our homes is a result of just not knowing how to navigate through the maze of emotions that strain our interactions and connection.

Doug and Tina Webb kick-off their seasonal parenting webinars with “Navigating Emotion in Family Life”. This 3-hour online seminar will focus on anger, disappointment, grief, and fear of vulnerability within families. 

10 – 11 AM  What To Do With Anger

11:15 AM – 12:15 PM  Disappointment, Grief and Bad Behavior

1 – 2 PM David: A Biblical Display of Vulnerability

All times are Eastern Standard Time (EST)

These seasonal seminars will feature family-focused topics like: The Heart of Discipline, Healthy Communication, Spiritual Warfare and Generational Curses, Challenges of Contemporary Issues, Establishing a Lineage of Jesus-Lovers

Doug and Tina are parents of six children, ages 29 to 9 years old. They home schooled for 20 years. After serving as associate pastors for several years, they focused their attention on their growing family, writing books, and mentoring young adults, couples, and moms (Tina). Early Bird Registration ends July 1

Tending to Your Soul Part 1 – Podcast Interview

In March, I made a guest appearance on the Simply Wholehearted Podcast with Amy Wicks. The first of this three-part series focused on topics from my book, Cultivating the Souls of Parents: Facing Our Brokenness; Embracing His Likeness. Amy is an Enneagram Coach and we discussed the tendency of Enneagram #1 (me) to be perfectionists. It is vital to allow the Lord to deliver us from our inner critic. I share stories of how raising my six children helped me realize how much I need God every moment of every day. Listen here.

Watch episode #195 of the Simply Wholehearted podcast Download  a free Ebook of Cultivating the Souls of Parents (version for any device) for a limited time. Get Free Ebook ($1.99 processing fee)

Wanna Join A Small Group for Moms?

Participants get a free Ebook of Cultivating the Souls of Parents Do you desire emotional healing and spiritual freedom?
Would you like practical advice to help you raise your kids?
Do you want to learn how to pray for the destiny of your family? Sat, May 1, 8, 15, 22 at 9:30 AM EST

“Tina is a natural leader and an encourager. She finds a way to make others comfortable sharing with her by the way she really listens. Her responses to what others share are encouraging and reflective. In all of her conversations during group meetings, she points the group to the Lord, His Word, and His purpose for us.” 

Beth

Get more information here: 2021 Cultivating Mom Groups

Week 4 Guest - Author Sara Hagerty discussing How to Have Safe, Jesus-Focused Friendships in Order to Grow Week 2 Guest: Dr. Ivy Bonk discussing How to Be Restored from Past Wounds

“Be You” As Defined By God, Not Man.

When it comes to emotional needs, we are all the same. God has wired humanity with the need to belong yet be separate and distinct. This tension causes us to gravitate into group think even when we inwardly disagree. I need friends so I’ll adopt their views and ignore my true opinion. My family culture endorses image over vulnerability so what I present must be more important than “being real”. If we choose to “be true to ourselves” sometimes we ride the pendulum too far and inflate our autonomy through actions that draw attention. We can react in unhealthy ways to any perceived status quo that threatens us. I don’t care what they think, I’m gonna _____.

We experience this tension everywhere–belonging versus being distinct. School. Neighborhood. Church. Political party. Jobs.

Situations arise where where we must counter what seeks to control, manipulate, or stifle God’s design for our lives. (emphasis – God’s design) Other times we must face our own demons of fear or mistrust of “the other”. This “other” represents a threat, but the threat is literally a lie that we have believed. If we recognize the internal dissonance that makes us react instead of respond to “the other”, we can ask ourselves “What are we afraid of?” or “What do we believe they will think and why do we believe this?”

All of us, senior citizen, infant, Latino, white, refugee, citizen, man, woman, poor, wealthy, sick, healthy, long for unconditional acceptance. And we are caught in this tug-of-war between belonging and being distinct, autonomous men or women created in the image of God. Many times within our “groups”, an opposing viewpoint is disregarded. So we comply to avoid the rejection because being without belonging is internal torture. We were not made to be islands. We were created to be a family. We fear rejection. We despise it. We need to have our existence validated. So we are faced with a choice: submit to groupthink or be an anomoly within our social circles.

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Can I adhere to a different worldview than my friends or family and my humanity still be honored?

Will I be banned or called names if my viewpoint is counterculture or contrary to today’s trends? Can my ethnicity be celebrated and not feared?

How do we allow our distinct fingerprint and God-given earthly assignment to prosper and still meet our need for unconditional acceptance? Acceptance that is based on being a fellow image-bearer rather than the distinctions that funnel us into manmade categories. What does it take to find our voice or discover our distinct story and not adopt an unhealthy or distorted version of “who” the Creator intended us to be?

It takes resolve and a will to forgive to be who God wants us to be and to not be what others want us to be for their own comfort. Yes, you will be rejected by someone. But you will be accepted by others. Don’t ever apologize for living “the days fashioned” for you in the heart of El Elyon (God Most High) the Creator, before you were conceived.

Psalm 139:16-17

Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.
And in Your book they all were written,
The days fashioned for me,
When as yet there were none of them.
How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God!
How great is the sum of them!

Time to Turn the Tide

I hadn’t planned on sitting down to write a post. Many of us have something to say, but we’ve been waiting for a divine green light and ears who want to hear.

So many voices. As a result, this past week I have only sought the One voice that matters to me. And today, the God-breathed words that have come to my mind are Psalm 119:105: The Word of God is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. This verse summarizes my life experience: when I pursued unshakeable Truth and walked that road, my life prospered. When I didn’t, bad things happened. So I want to encourage you to encourage others to pursue the path of unshakeable Truth.

This is how we “turn the tide.”

I realize that in using this idiom I admit my opinion: that there is a tide that we are riding on that is going in the wrong direction.

A Path NOT Unto Life

NOTE: This is not a political post. 

We were created to look forward. Gaze at the night sky and wonder, What is beyond? From birth, we progress onward. We learn to speak, walk, reason and this progression of life is one we celebrate with birthdays, privileges and cultural rites of passage. In other words, we were created for forward motion. Stagnancy or the “two steps back” is frustrating because we have goals, dreams, and prayers that we want to see realized.

The problem, as I see it, is that many people think they are going in the right direction but they are not. 

Defining What is Right or Constructive

In my books, I have used construction analogies. Wanna build a house? Make sure the foundation is strong and level. Wanna build a stone firepit? Set the cornerstone correctly. (I learned this the hard way).

Faulty foundations or loose stones affect the integrity of the whole. Many of you know this from your work in business, community innovation…or any sphere. I learned this raising kids! So there is a right way to build and a wrong way to build. We can choose a path that is constructive and supports individual and corporate vitality versus a path that is destructive and maintains brokenness  or leads to disrepair .

In this climate of frequent disagreement, I think we can agree that we cannot determine the “good” of something–an idea, a program, even a behavior, by how it is affecting us right at this moment. We need to weigh the outcomes. 

Will my physical health benefit?
Will my mental/emotional health prosper? 
Will those I associate with have my best in mind?
What foundation does this idea, program, or behavior stand on?

These few questions apply in every social circle and can guide every decision we make. Today’s gratification may bring bliss. But will it enslave you in the end? 

Moving forward means accessing what is toxic in the spheres that affect us everyday, (economic, education, political, faith, etc.) and even in our relationships. I don’t think the constructive answer is to abandon those spheres, but rather, fix them.

Make them constructive. Life-giving.

A Constructive Trajectory

“The word edify means to build up. As Culture Changers, we are called to build up those whose lives intersect with ours for a few minutes or a lifetime. We bring change as we oppose the conditions and mindsets that diminish the quality of life for individuals, families, and communities.” Let’s turn the tide by coaching people how to move themselves and others into a constructive trajectory.

To build up, we have to determine what is broken. Wrong. Destructive. Evil.

“It is easy to categorize concepts under the heading of “good,” but many of us are reluctant to call something “evil.” Sometimes we don’t feel comfortable using either categorization, so we lean toward relativism, which is the idea that good or evil is just based on someone’s opinion. Relativism says that behavior cannot be called negative or evil because it is subjective to a person’s belief system.”

In my book, Culture Changers, I go on to write:

“The definition of shalom is rightness, completeness, harmony, and wholeness. The opposite is wrongness, incompleteness, dissonance, or confusion, and brokenness…We have to be on the same page when it comes to what contributes to a productive society and what inhibits it…Progress involves movement, while stagnancy limits growth and experience. Therefore change can be a blessing or a curse. As a society, we need to recognize the systems and even trends that are destructive to people’s overall wellness.

So, readers, it’s assessment time! Look around you. At people. Your relationships. Systems. Laws. Programs. Take time to weigh outcomes. Inspect the foundation principles that are in place. Does the present foundation support a person’s overall wellbeing (mental, emotional, physical and even spiritual)? (Or your own?) Is a new and unshakeable foundation needed? 

Lastly, since I am a mom who mentors moms, I have to add: invite your kids and teens into this process. Teach them to ask themselves those questions as they weigh ideas, programs,  behaviors, etc.: 

Will my physical health benefit?
Will my mental/emotional health prosper? 
Will those I associate with have my best in mind?
What foundation does this idea, program, or behavior stand on?

Let’s help the next generation by shining a light on a constructive path.

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My People are Destroyed for Lack of Knowledge

Once I heard these words, I determined not to be included in this bunch of believers. So, at 22, I pursued a new type of knowledge. While my B. A. equipped me to analyze and communicate, 120 credits worth of liberal arts classes could never prepare me to live in a warzone.

I mean planet Earth.

The knowledge I pursued taught me to recognize 1) how and why my life got off course, 2) God’s course, and 3) too many Christians are encumbered by unseen realities.

Was I hallucinating? I didn’t think so. I had given up alcohol months before, after my cry-for-help-suicide attempt. Napping on the couch in my apartment living room was not an ordinary occurrence, but for whatever reason, I didn’t want to go into my dark, dingy, off-grounds bedroom. I had never heard of sleep paralysis. All I knew was that I struggled to wake up. I was consciously aware of being unable to move my body, and I could barely breathe. A dream, perhaps? I don’t think so because once I was able to open my eyes, I sat up wondering what the hell had happened. A few minutes later, it seemed that is what it was. Hell happened.

In the doorway between my kitchen and the bedroom hall, I saw my first demon. Now, I know some of you are really weirded out right now, but I bet there are those of you who have had strange experiences like this and never told anyone!

I stared at it as I sensed it staring at me. Black cloud substance shaped like a man. White holes where eyes should be and, believe it or not, what looked to be a priest’s collar. This three-second visitation prompted me to phone a friend and ask for prayer! Never again would I ever want an invasion of the dark side in my home again. This experience opened my eyes to an unseen reality that I never knew existed.

The other unseen realm that I would learn about as I grew older was the soul. I knew the real “me” lived inside the suit of my physical body, but I had had little teaching about my soul or my spirit. Are they the same? How is it that my thought life seems to affect my emotions? What does it mean to be spiritually minded? Those of you who read my books will see that triune health, realignment of the spirit, soul, and physical body to God’s design and intent, is one of my passions. I have said it before, and I will say this phrase for the rest of my life: “Individual wholeness has corporate benefits.”1 For the family unit. For communities. For over thirty years, I have learned about God’s process of bringing people into an awareness of where they are (brokenness) in regard to where He wants them to be (whole.) Currently, I mentor a few women who realize they have been out-of-joint spiritually or emotionally and, therefore, not able to experience the fullness of abundant life that Jesus purchased for them. I steer them towards shalom.

How did my life get off course? Well, like yours did, LOL. When our spirits received their humanity in our mother’s wombs, we became infected by sin, generational memories, and curses. We inherit everything! Good and bad. Skills and sickness. Talents, trauma effects, and triggers. Consider the environment we are introduced to that involves economics, education, national issues. Every sphere, system, and mechanism of society greets us before our cognitive processes can decipher where they are constructive or destructive to our wellbeing.

Because of this impartation (or indoctrination), you and I made decisions along the way that we’ve regretted. Shame and perfectionism mask the ugliness that we haven’t wanted to face.  But our maladaptive behaviors and coping mechanisms affect the people we love. And the people we try to like. So, we must embrace change. A constructive trajectory. God’s course toward triune health.

This means that to get to our metaphorical promised land, we must navigate the war zone of unseen realities. Like Frodo, we must embrace our part in destroying that which attempts to destroy us. Be willing to let God tell us to leave our Ur (Genesis 11, 12), the land of our fathers. Or be catapulted like Saul (Acts 9) into our redemptive destinies, which will require changes, if not our names, then what images we embrace.

My post title is the English Standard Version of Hosea 4:6. If you read the rest of the passage, you see that the end for “My people” wasn’t good. They got what they deserved because they rejected the truth that God presented.

Brothers and sisters, my desire is that you would prosper and be in health, even as your soul prospers (3 Jn 1:2). I don’t want you to incur unnecessary hardship or carry inherited baggage that is not your fault! I want you to be prepared and equipped to move into 2021 with the fullness of God’s love and power. I want you to be whole. Spiritually mature. Emotionally healthy. And physically glorifying the Son in all of your ways. If you want this too, then ask God to teach you all that you have not known nor understood but need to know and understand.

Culture Changers: Understand the Roots of Brokenness and Help Heal Your Family and Community, Pub date: Jan 5, 2021
































Ready to begin the journey? Click to read Chapter One of Culture Changers. "Old Situations, New Eyes"

The Curl that wouldn’t Conform

Maybe if I turn the flat iron this way. “Ouch! Damn it!” Well, I’ll just run the iron straight down and then perhaps this section will flip the right way…

“Oh, c’mon on hair!”  Where’s my gel?

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Too bad we can’t put gel on our kids to make them go in the right direction. Hair styling is way easier than child training ’cause our hair strands don’t talk back. (But those greys. Ever been tempted to just pull one out? I mean, what the heck? They do like to stand out, don’t they?)

Nonconformity is one of my favorite topics. Trends, groupthink, and cultural traditions are entrenched in the bedrock of our formed identities. Complying with what everyone else does and how everyone else thinks is easier than standing alone. Who really has the energy to challenge accepted norms or resist the temptation to do what feels natural. Like with my kids–playing with balls around the furniture feels natural. No matter how many times, I give them a consequence, their childish lack of restraint wins. I wish my eye-hand coordination coupled with Elasta-girl arms could reach midair to catch these balls that seem to come out of hiding. At one time they began throwing a baseball made from aluminum foil across the kitchen and continued even after it came within an inch of knocking over my water bottle and landing in the pot of chili.

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Self-restraint is a muscle that we have to develop. I want my kids to be adults who practice self-restraint, and more importantly, are secure enough in their God ordained identity that they do not let the world dictate or define how they should live and what they should think.

I am raising non-conformists of the godly sort.

Complying with what everyone else does and how everyone else thinks is easier than standing alone.

In high school, I prided myself on resisting the groupthink despite my internal longing to be accepted. My differences were glaring anyway. Black violist. Clique-less. A’s in Latin I and II. Fitting the mold just wasn’t viable. College was no different. After trying to be and do like everyone else for two and a half years, I hit rock bottom and wanted to end my life. And I tried.

After drinking those shots and unsuccessfully trying to slit my wrist, I realized that I’d been burying my God-ordained uniqueness under the “should” of a demon named Status Quo. I identified with C.S. Lewis when he said, “What I call my “self” now is hardly a person at all. It’s mainly a meeting place for various natural forces, desires, and fears, etcetera, some of which come from my ancestors, and some from my education, some perhaps from devils.” (I’d add my culture, society, neighborhood…)

I was tired of trying to fit it and be approved. The excitement of pre-parties, after-parties, sorority pledging was lost on me. Everyone else lived to do what everyone else was doing. So I became a bit of a loner at the end of my 3rd year of college. During this dark time, I realized that God had a purpose for me that was far more exciting that being accepted and known by the world around me. So I rededicated my life to the Lord and began to ask, “Who am I created to be and what is my God-inspired passion?”

These questions were answered as I became a wife and mom and learned how to respond to God as a daughter.

Jesus. Prayer. Healing. Family. Fixing things. Being known, not for any role or position, but for the essence of who I am. As far as my hair…these natural curls that don’t always turn in the direction I want…I will respect them. I won’t make them fit into a “should”.

Resist the world’s “should”. Culture and society have become gods. Idols that beckon our worship. The latest trends are adopted without us vetting them. Ask the questions that no one else is asking! 5G – Are there health risks? TikTok – How much will I have to screen my screen? Hashtag movements. Ideologies. The newest song, TV show or video game. Do they draw me closer or farther from God’s truth and how He wants me to re-present Him?

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For me, the issue of nonconformity has never been one of rebellion or outward zeal. Maybe it is my Enneagram number, but I don’t need to make a visual statement to celebrate who I think I am.

Nonconformity as a reaction to rejection is not what God wants. That response, although understandable, is unhealthy. Subtle and stealth as the serpent, reaction-based nonconformity undermines the process of sincere self-discovery. And when I say self-discovery, I mean finding out who God imagined you to be before He put you in your mother’s womb. (Read Psalm 139:13-18, but the whole chapter is good!) I am still realizing who I am versus who others want me to be. I contend every day with “shoulds”...if you are a real author you should….(do like them); if you want to be a successful woman you should (do this). The only thing I should do is represent Jesus Christ in what I say and what I do. This is what Doug and I try to teach our kids. To imitate Christ. Not their friends or who they see on TV. This encouragement will continue until they are adults. Here’s why:

God ordained human development to be a process of becoming. Children are not adults, they become adults–physically, emotionally, and mentally. (So children cannot make healthy life-altering decisions in regards to gender!) We have to realize that Satan is an image-stealer and destiny-destroyer even in the womb. I will write about this topic sometime, but until the frontal lobe of a child’s brain is mature and they meet Jesus Christ, they will not realize that their individuality is a gift given by God to defy serpentine ideas that seek to destroy the image of God that they bear. We must teach our children to find out what God wrote in their books (v.16). We need to do this for ourselves as well. Discover our God-breathed distinctiveness. Our divine purpose. Nonconformity resists being made into an image defined by man. God wants us to resist conforming to the world and its ways. (Romans 12:2) This process involves shaking off “the old man” after we are born again, renewing our minds from ungodly ideas, and embracing Jesus’ way of living and loving that contrasted the accepted norms of His time.

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You have heard the popular phrase, “Be You!” The only problem with this phrase is what if the current “you” isn’t the person that God envisioned? What if the “you” in the mirror is the one that people want to see, because low self-esteem causes you to mask who God created you to be. Perhaps we need to say, “Become You!” or “Be the You that God Envisioned”. The key is healthy individuality and godly nonconformity. (John 17:14) Being like Christ means living and speaking in ways that bring contrast. Is my self-definition and counter-groupthink attitude constructive or destructive to my soul, spirit and body? In other words, will my self-expression, thinking, or choices please Christ or his enemy?

What is the big deal about our environment defining us and conforming to its values, words, and behavior?

God imagined each of us in His good heart. But something happened. Once our spirits put on an earth suit in our mother’s womb, we became marred by sin, generational weaknesses, and words spoken by people who had no idea what value we had to God. There is a reason we had to rescued from the kingdom of darkness in which we were born. So we spend our lives recovering–sloughing off the consequences of sin and renewing our minds to embrace the us–that was first imagined in His heart. His redemptive power delivers us from being a victim of this sin-stained battleground called Earth.

Listen to this song and receive who you are. If you have kids, play the song for them. Explain what I’ve written to them. I pray that as God infuses all of you with value and significance, that you are able to repel the “shoulds” of the fallen world. Complying with what everyone else does and how everyone else thinks is easier than standing alone. But you won’t stand alone. Jesus will be standing with you.

“I am who He says I am
He is who He says He is
I’m defined by all His promises
Shaped by every word He says,“
(Tony Brown, Seth Mosley, Kristene Dimarco)

Take Care of Your Heart

Take Care of Your Heart

for from it comes the issues of life. (Proverbs 4:23) What does this mean?

When I think of issues, I think of negative circumstances in my personal life and in the world around me. We all have “issues”, whether they be a quick temper or a negative self-concept; a child that seems hyperactive, or the father-in-law that is overbearing whenever he visits for the holidays. We share corporate issues: increased sensitivity to opposing views, the fight to maintain inner peace…

 

“Each of us has something–a mindset, a person or a circumstance, that tries to steal our peace.”
–Cultivating the Souls of Parents

What exactly is our heart? 

Whether the subconscious part of our mind or our spirit, or a space where our spirit and soul overlap, the point of Proverbs 4:23 is that the core of who we are must be protected and maintained, lest it be stained and hardened.

The Bible calls our heart a ground that sometimes needs to be broken up–like the soil of my garden after winter so that life-giving seed can be planted. 

Here is Hosea 10:12 from the Amplified Bible

Sow with a view to righteousness [that righteousness, like seed, may germinate];
Reap in accordance with mercy and lovingkindness.
Break up your uncultivated ground,
For it is time to seek and search diligently for the Lord [and to long for His blessing]
Until He comes to rain righteousness and His gift of salvation on you.

I love the intentionality of the first line: Sow with a view to righteousness. This involves deliberate action. Attentiveness. Daily inspection. We are called to be stewards, master gardeners of our the core of who we are. But we don’t do this on our own. As we consider other scriptures, we discover that we need 1) God’s light to reveal what we haven’t discerned about ourselves. He helps us become self-aware. 2) Life-giving relationships with those who also hunger and thirst for righteousness. Look at your crowd. Who you listen to every day. The voices that inform you. Whether in person or on social media, we are taking in ideas…seeds. Some seeds grow weeds.

“Every human being is affected by “group think” … it takes effort to discern and resist the information that comes into our ears that opposes God’s word. “
-“Are We Failing God’s Word?”
Episode 5, Digging Deep Podcast

2020 brought about circumstances–issues that attacked our hearts. My oldest son and I wrote, Justice Reframed: How the Cross Confronts our Pursuit of Justice, because we recognized that manmade divisions, sinful attitudes, broken mindsets and violent reactions to injustice were trying to penetrate the soil of our hearts–the soil work that God had been doing in our hearts for years. Still, as 2020 comes to a close, we must stay intentional to guard that which God has planted and then allow Him to uproot what we let in. We must guard the gates of this precious place–the core of who we are so that we reflect the glory of God in all that we do and say. May our hearts reflect the heart of God!

“Enthroning our preferences or prejudices causes us to miss the heart of God and fall into judgmentalism.”
– Justice Reframed

We often do this with our friends, our kids, and our spouses–assume our opinion of an issue or our solution to a problem is right. In doing so, the opinions of others become invalid. Lord, give us clean hearts!

“As Christ followers, we have to acknowledge where our manner and our message has not reflected His. We have to see how we have seared our consciences through self-righteousness, which has widened the very gaps we are called to close.” (Justice Reframed)

PEACEMAKERS! RECONCILERS! BRIDGE-BUILDERS! That is who we are called to be, but we cannot, we will not do the work that Jesus commissioned us to do, if we do not guard our hearts, protecting the life of God’s word as we sow it day by day, through bible study and prayer.

In the weeks ahead, during the holidays, on social media, when we meet others in public, we can reveal the heart of Jesus. He loves everyone, although He does not always like what we do or have done. But God’s forgiveness flows when we admit our failures. 

As a mom, I try to pause before reacting to the bad behavior of one of my kids. Especially since 2020 has been so difficult for all of us. I pause and ask the Lord to help me discern anything that is causing the bad behavior. Sure, maybe they are eating too much sugar or fell asleep to late. I can fix those things easily. But maybe there are other issues going on that their young hearts are wrestling with. Missing friends. Night terrors. Fear about tomorrow. Feeling ignored by us when we listen to them while staring at our cell phones – ouch!

Let’s take this perspective with us. When people act in ways that are disrespectful or speak critically, we don’t have to like it. But before we respond, let us discern (or ask them) what may be going on in their hearts. Lord, help me pray for the hearts of those I care about every day!

One Last Reason to Take Care of Your Heart













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You are here for a reason.

“out of it comes the issues of life”

When what is within our hearts is pure, healthy, humble–the environment around us will be positively affected. We are called to bring change–release vitality, hope and vision, unity, and Truth. 

In my book, Culture Changers I wrote:

“Humanity is like a building constructed of stones, one set securely on top of another. Loose stones clearly affect the whole structure. As hearts are healed and thinking transformed, we as a society become steady where we used to be shaky.”

“A good portion of our ability to change communities and impact individuals comes through “living in an opposite spirit” to the divisive and hopeless climate around us, which means that even our manner is powerful. Just smiling, saying hi, or asking if someone is having a good day is a great start–“

Practical tips to maintain your “heart health”. (Taken from Culture Changers)

Take time each day to connect with God. Quietness is
rewarding. Enter into this space aware that the One who
created you is waiting to nurture your spirit and soul.

Stay humble. No human being ever “arrives” at the peak
of perfection. We will never know it all or have all the
answers.

Think about where you are on your journey toward triune
health. Find additional resources that will help you
grow.

Stay thankful for your story. The journey you’re on is a
testimony for someone else. Be grateful for the lessons
you’re learning in your relationships and challenging
seasons.

Make sure you’re in relationships with people who can
encourage you in this endeavor and give wise advice.
Commit to being emotionally honest with these people.

Connect with me!