Akosua Dardaine Edwards's Blog, page 7

Loving Yourself Is an Action—Not Just an Idea - Welcome to April

 

Create. Create in a variety ofways. Create every day. Creativity is the speedboat that skims you across thewaves of powerlessness, despair, denial, and fear. Creativity is a powerfulportal into wholeness. Hiro Boga

We live in an era of endless self-help content. There are books, podcasts, retreats, and TikTok videos all preaching the same message: "Love yourself!" But here’s the hard truth—no amount of consuming self-love content will ever replace actually doing the work.

Loving yourself isn’t just about affirmations in the mirror or journaling your feelings (though those can help). Real self-love is action. It’s showing up for yourself when it’s easier not to. It’s making the tough choices today so your future self thanks you.

I have learnt that Self-Love Looks Like:

✔ Taking the first step—even if it’s small. The gym, the business idea, the better eating habits—none of it happens without action.
✔ Watching your self-talk—and changing it when it’s cruel. You wouldn’t let a friend talk to you the way you sometimes talk to yourself.
✔ Choosing connection over isolation when things get hard. (My default is to hide, but guess what? The problems are still there when I come back.)
✔ Committing to consistency—not perfection. One small, daily action in honor of your future self is worth more than a grand, unsustainable gesture and celebrating the wins.

The Hard Part? Starting.

We wait for motivation, for the "right time," for some magical shift in the universe before we act. But motivation follows action—not the other way around.

So today, ask yourself:
🔹 What’s one small action I can take today that future me will thank me for?
🔹 Where am I hiding instead of showing up for myself?

Self-love isn’t passive. It’s a daily practice of choosing yourself—even (and especially) when it’s hard.

What’s one way you’ll take action today? 💪

Peace and Blessings

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Resilience Within: Why Life's Experiences Are Unavoidable

 

"Life is not always tidy. It’s full of unexpected twists, tangled emotions, and unforeseen hurdles. But within the chaos lies the magic—the chance to grow, adapt, and discover resilience we didn’t know we had."

It’s a comforting thought, isn’t it? That a happy life is one free of problems. That if we’re good, kind, and follow the unwritten “rules” of decency, life will reward us with smooth sailing. I certainly grew up p believing this, holding tight to the notion that challenges are mere inconveniences, avoidable with enough status, power, or wealth. But life, unpredictable and untamed, doesn’t work that way. I learnt this the hard way.

I, was sold on the formula: be good, be nice, and you’ll be spared heartbreak and drama. I thought that being a good person was the ultimate antidote to life’s troubles. But life, in its infinite wisdom, taught me otherwise. It taught me that experiences cannot be skipped, no matter how carefully we try to outmaneuver them. And honestly? That’s the beauty of it all.

When challenges arise, it’s easy to fall into the trap of taking them personally. Why me? What did I do to deserve this? But here’s the truth: life isn’t singling you out. It’s not keeping score, nor is it out to get you. Challenges are not a punishment—they’re simply part of the human experience.

Think about it: would we ever grow, learn, or truly appreciate joy without contrast? Struggles remind us of our resilience, our capacity to endure and overcome. They shape us, refining our character in ways that a problem-free life never could.

Many believe that achieving status, power, or wealth grants immunity from life’s hardships. Yet history is filled with stories of accomplished individuals who faced profound challenges. Struggles don’t discriminate—they’re universal. No amount of success can shield us from heartbreak, illness, loss, or uncertainty.

The idea that we can avoid difficulties is a dangerous myth. It sets us up for disappointment and blinds us to the tools we already possess to navigate life: resilience, courage, and intuition.

Built for the Journey

Here’s the incredible part—we are designed to handle life’s messiness. Resilience is hardwired into us, like a muscle that strengthens with use. Courage isn’t the absence of fear, but the willingness to act despite it. And intuition, often overlooked, is our internal compass, guiding us when logic falls short.

These traits aren’t just survival mechanisms; they’re gifts. They equip us to fully experience life, to embrace its highs and lows, and to find meaning even in adversity.

A Shift in Perspective

What if we stopped viewing challenges as inconveniences and started seeing them as opportunities? What if, instead of asking, “Why is this happening to me?” we asked, “What can I learn from this?”

Taking life personally limits us. It frames struggles as attacks rather than stepping stones. But when we shift our perspective, we open ourselves to growth, transformation, and a deeper appreciation for life’s intricacies.

Life isn’t meant to be a series of checked boxes or a smooth road paved with good intentions. It’s an unpredictable, messy, and beautiful journey. And the truth is, we wouldn’t want it any other way.

So the next time life throws you a curveball, remember: you’re equipped to handle it. Embrace the experience, lean into your resilience, and trust that every challenge holds a lesson, even if it’s not immediately clear.

Life isn’t personal—it’s universal. And that’s what makes it such a blessing.

Peace and Blessings

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Radical Acceptance Must Come with Letting Go

Letting go actually decreases self-centeredness and allows love to come forward much more unconditionally and with greater strength Yung Pueblo 

 I learned the true meaning of radical acceptance after what I considered the biggest betrayal of my life. It wasn’t just about the act itself—it was the shattering of trust,  and the painful realization that some things cannot be undone.

For a long time, I wrestled with the why. Why did they do it? Why didn’t I see it coming? Why couldn’t they just choose differently? I exhausted myself trying to understand, to negotiate, to fix what was never mine to fix.

Radical Acceptance Was the First Step

Radical acceptance wasn’t passive resignation—it was the conscious decision to stop fighting reality. I had to accept:

I could not change them. Their choices, their actions, their justifications—none of it was within my control.

I had ignored red flags. There was no shame in admitting that; it simply meant I had trusted when I shouldn’t have.

The past would not rewrite itself. No amount of anger, grief, or bargaining would undo what happened.

It hurt. But in that hurt was also relief—because acceptance meant I could stop pouring energy into a battle I was never meant to win.

Letting Go Is the Necessary Next Step

Acceptance alone isn’t freedom. Letting go is where the real work begins. And it’s not a one-time act—it’s a daily practice.

For me, letting go looked like:

Releasing the fantasy of closure. Some stories don’t end with apologies or justice.

Choosing myself, even when it felt lonely. Boundaries became non-negotiable.

Redirecting my energy. What was once consumed by anger became fuel for growth.

The Liberation on the Other Side

Radical acceptance doesn’t mean what happened was okay. It means you stop letting it define you. Letting go doesn’t mean forgetting—it means you stop carrying the weight of someone else’s choices.

And when you do? There’s space—for peace, for new trust, for a life that isn’t anchored to the past.

It’s not easy. But it’s worth it.

Have you ever had to radically accept something you couldn’t change? How did you let go?

Peace and Blessings

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The Quiet Strength of Consistency

There are some things that you just can’t buy an immediate solution for, and you simply have to accept the long journey in front of you. The aspects of life that require slow work are usually things that will bring you the greatest sense of fulfillment. Seeing your effort create new results is an incredible feeling. Yung Pueblo 

In a world full of distractions and endless possibilities, the key to success often lies in one simple principle: consistency. As the quote so beautifully puts it, “It is your consistency that focuses your energy towards making your aim come true.” This is a powerful reminder that it is through consistent effort, day in and day out, that we build the foundation for achieving our dreams. But what does consistency really mean in the context of personal growth and inner work?

Consistency as the Bridge to Your Vision

Consistency is more than just a habit—it's the backbone of progress. Whether you're striving for a better version of yourself or chasing a specific goal, consistency is the element that keeps your vision alive. It allows you to continually bring your focus back to the present moment, helping you reshape your actions in alignment with the future you want to create.

When it comes to building a healthier lifestyle, for example, consistency isn't about being perfect every single day. It’s about showing up, even when you don’t feel like it. It's about making small, deliberate choices that add up over time, creating sustainable habits that transform you from the inside out.

The Inner Work No One Can Do for You

This idea of consistency takes on an even deeper significance when we consider the inner work required for success. No one else can walk your path for you or do the work necessary to change your mindset and habits. This is something that only you can do for yourself. It is a journey of personal transformation that requires patience, resilience, and dedication.

A huge part of this inner work involves shaping your mind through consistent practice. The mind, after all, is largely shaped by repetition. Think of it this way: every thought, every action you repeat becomes a building block of your reality. If you are constantly thinking negative thoughts or reinforcing self-doubt, you are feeding a cycle that can keep you stuck. On the other hand, if you practice positive self-talk, develop healthier habits, and commit to your goals, you are literally rewiring your brain to support your success.

This is where the real work lies—being consistent in the thoughts, actions, and practices that support your highest vision of yourself.

My Personal Journey with Consistency

When I first embarked on my journey of self-improvement, I didn’t have it all figured out. There were days when I doubted myself, when it felt impossible to stay on track, and when I wondered if all the effort was worth it. But with time, I began to see the fruits of my consistency.

For me, it started with something simple: healthy eating. At first, it was a struggle. I was used to old habits, and making changes felt like an uphill battle. But through small, consistent actions—packing healthier meals, learning about nutrition, and gradually changing my diet—I began to see results. And those results weren’t just physical; they were mental and emotional as well. Healthy eating made me feel more energized, clear-headed, and capable of taking on challenges.

Next came meditation. At first, sitting still for even five minutes seemed like an eternity. But I stuck with it. Slowly, I learned how to focus, how to quiet my mind, and how to create space for inner peace. Over time, meditation became an anchor in my day, helping me to reset and stay grounded no matter what challenges came my way.

Exercise was another area where consistency paid off. In the beginning, I wasn’t always motivated. I didn’t always feel like hitting the gym or going for a run. But I showed up anyway. And as I made regular exercise a part of my routine, I began to feel stronger, both physically and mentally.

But perhaps the most important habit I developed—and the one that has had the greatest impact on my life—is positive inner talk. It took time to reframe my thoughts, to replace self-doubt with self-empowerment. But through consistent practice, I shifted my mindset, which in turn shifted my reality. The more I practiced speaking kindly to myself, the more I believed in my potential. And that belief has been the driving force behind everything I’ve achieved.

The Ripple Effect of Consistency

Consistency doesn’t just create change in one area of your life—it creates a ripple effect. Once you start showing up for yourself in one area, it becomes easier to do so in others. Your confidence grows, your mindset shifts, and you begin to see progress in ways you never imagined possible.

The beauty of consistency is that it compounds over time. The small, daily actions you take are what set the stage for big breakthroughs. And the longer you stay committed to your goals, the more momentum you build.

Final Thoughts: The Choice Is Yours

It’s easy to get discouraged when things don’t happen as quickly as we’d like. We live in a world that promotes instant gratification, but real transformation takes time—and it takes work. Remember, no one else can do the work for you. It’s up to you to show up every day and be consistent with your efforts, even when you don’t feel like it.

But trust me—every small step forward, every little bit of effort you put in, will bring you closer to your vision. It’s through that consistency that your dreams will start to materialize. The vision you hold for a better future is possible, but it requires your dedication to make it a reality.

So, today, ask yourself: What can I be consistent with? What small, positive action can I commit to that will bring me closer to my goals? Because it’s your consistency that will focus your energy and transform your future.

Peace and Blessings

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Call me Humble by this definition

 

When you know of a thing, all that you know is locked in place in your mind. Mama Bello

I was listening to Carolyn Myss talk about power. Her perspective was that there is so much power in humility, and humble is not being poor and not having a place. I listened to how she described a humble person and it literally brought tears to my eyes and want to live a life of humility. Call me humble because this is my standard to now live by 

The most protected person in the world is also the most humble, and humility makes someone nearly impervious to the tricks of darkness. Why is that? Because a humble person desires nothing that doesn't rightfully belong to them. They are untempted by fleeting, material possessions, and their sense of worth isn't rooted in insecurity. In fact, humility and insecurity cannot coexist.

A humble person has no fear of judgment and understands their own boundaries—they know what they don't want or need. They aren't dependent on external validation or approval, and they certainly don't seek it. For the humble, the well-being of their soul takes precedence over all else. Their body, possessions, and worldly matters pale in comparison to the importance of nurturing their inner self. 

Ultimately, humility removes distractions like pride and vanity, enabling you to focus on what truly matters. It nurtures a peaceful and unshakable inner core, allowing you to face challenges with grace and determination.

So, what could the outside world possibly offer the humble that would lead them to compromise their true self? Hardly anything, if anything at all. 

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From Revelry to Reflection: How a Silent Retreat Changed My Perspective

 By entering into the silence, acknowledging divine substance, affirming his faith in and oneness with it, man becomes conscious of substance .Law of Metaphysics 

Every year, like clockwork, the streets of Trinidad and Tobago come alive with the pulsating rhythms of soca, the vibrant colors of costumes, and the infectious energy of Carnival. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been a part of this celebration, losing myself in the music, the laughter, and the sheer joy of it all. But this year, I decided to do something radically different. Instead of joining the revelry, I chose silence. No music, no phone, no distractions—just me and my thoughts for two whole days. What I discovered was both challenging and transformative.

I’ll admit, the decision didn’t come easily. Carnival is more than just a festival; ever since I have known myself, Carnival has been a part of my life, whether it was playing mas, going to fetes, joining in the Panorama. Two years ago I took a trip away during Carnival- that time I was going through a life experience of extreme betrayal, I did not want to have anything to do with Carnival, I was hurt , angry and upset and the festival seemed to be a happy place for the person that played a huge part in the betrayal But this year, something inside me craved stillness rather than running away. I wanted to see what would happen if I stripped away all the noise—both literal and figurative—and just be. Could I sit with my thoughts without reaching for my phone or turning on the TV? What would I discover about myself in the silence? 

The first few hours were surprisingly peaceful. I sat by the window, watching the world go by, and felt a sense of calm I hadn’t experienced in a long time. But as the hours turned into a full day, the silence became deafening. My mind raced with thoughts—some trivial, some deeply personal. I realized how much I rely on distractions to avoid facing certain truths about myself. Sitting with those thoughts was harder than I expected, but it was also incredibly revealing. Meditation helped, the process centered me.

Returning to the world after my silent retreat felt like stepping into a different reality. The music, the laughter, the energy—it was all still there, but I felt more grounded, more present. I realized that while Carnival is a beautiful celebration of life, it’s also important to create space for stillness and introspection. Moving forward, I hope to strike a balance between the two, embracing the joy of the moment while staying connected to my inner self

My silent retreat during Carnival was a reminder that sometimes, the most profound experiences come not from the noise around us, but from the silence within. I wonder—what would you discover if you took a break from the distractions in your life? What truths might you uncover if you simply sat with your thoughts, even for a few hours? The answers might surprise you.

Peace and Blessings

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Journey to Worthiness

This is one of the most profound lessons that I have learnt from reading A Course in Miracles. My intention is to embody and remember this for the month of March and beyond

Let's go! Come Journey with me.

 

There is a deep responsibility you owe yourself, and one you must learn to remember all the time. ²The lesson may seem hard at first, but you will learn to love it when you realize that it is true and is but a tribute to your power. You who have sought and found littleness, remember this: Every decision you make stems from what you think you are, and represents the value that you put upon yourself. Believe the little can content you, and by limiting yourself you will not be satisfied. For your function is not little, and it is only by finding your function and fulfilling it that you can escape from littleness. 

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Reclaiming Self-Worth where the world values us for what we can DO

 What happens to our sense of self when we’re only valued for what we can produce?

What happens to our sense of self when our value is tied solely to what we can do, rather than who we are?  For me, it started at a young age, rewarded for doing my homework, scolded for playing too much. Having to hide to play with my imaginary friend who I named Penelope. 

As I grew up homework turned into good grades, steady job, being a productive person, not being lazy - the bottom line was in the proving that I was doing and what I did could be validated, that it was good, that it brought no shame on Self and family. What seemed acceptable to the society that could be measured and valued. These are the markers of a "valuable" person in this society that we now live.

When our value is reduced to a checklist of tasks, our souls begin to wither, imagination is placed on the back burner . This is the silent crisis of modern life—a crisis that erodes our self-worth, distorts our identity, and leaves us questioning our place in the world.

The danger here is subtle but profound. When we internalize the idea that our worth is tied to our output, we start to believe that we are only as good as our last achievement. A missed deadline, a failed project, or even a moment of rest can feel like a personal failure. We begin to see ourselves as tools—useful when functional, disposable when not.

When I was fired from my job, I felt like an absolute failure. When I got divorced, I could not face myself, and other people- I hid, I ran away.  I kept asking myself what did I do? How did I get here?

What I know now is that life has a way of getting our attention and its up to me to pay attention.

This detour in the road cannot me me unworthy, cannot make me a failure. I was born worthy, there is nothing that can change that I am inherently worthy. I just have to believe it. When we’re valued only for what we can produce, we start to lose touch with our intrinsic worth. We feel invisible, as if no one sees us for who we truly are.

Perhaps the most insidious effect of being valued only for our productivity is the erosion of our identity. When our sense of self is tied to what we do, we lose sight of who we are. Our passions, dreams, and unique qualities are overshadowed by the need to perform. We become strangers to ourselves, disconnected from our own desires and values.

Now I have been dealing with reclaiming Self and this has become somewhat of a challenge for people around me, I now know what I like, what brings me joy and there are things that I have stopped doing, have started doing that makes others around me uncomfortable.

The change came when I started  asking  myself How do I measure my own worth? Do I see the people around me as human beings, or as tools to achieve my goals? Do I need to be externally validated and chosen to be considered worthy?  These questions are the first step toward a where our sense of self is rooted in who we are, not just what we do.

Peace and Blessings

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We Carry Our Constraints in Our Bodies

 We carry our constraints in our bodies — the shoulds, the what-ifs, half-truths, and watered-down desires. But the body remembers —EVERYTHING. How to expand. How to reach. How to take up space. Stacey Herrera 

This quote stopped me in my tracks. It’s a reminder of how often we shrink ourselves, how we internalize the weight of expectations, doubts, and fears until they become part of us. These constraints live in our bodies — in the tension in our shoulders, the shallow breaths we take, the way we fold ourselves smaller to fit into spaces that were never meant to contain us.

We carry the shoulds: the voices that tell us who we’re supposed to be, what we’re supposed to want, how we’re supposed to show up in the world. We carry the what-ifs: the paralyzing fear of failure, of judgment, of not being enough. We carry the half-truths: the stories we tell ourselves about our limitations, our worth, our potential. And we carry the watered-down desires: the dreams we’ve muted because they felt too big, too bold, too impossible.

But here’s the thing: our bodies remember.

They remember what it feels like to expand — to breathe deeply, to stand tall, to fill the space we were meant to occupy. They remember how to reach — for the stars, for our dreams, for the life we truly want. They remember how to take up space — unapologetically, boldly, authentically.

Our bodies are not just vessels for our constraints; they are also archives of our power. Every time we’ve laughed until our sides hurt, danced like no one was watching, or stood firm in our truth, our bodies have stored those moments. They remind us that we are capable of more than we often allow ourselves to believe.

So how do we begin to shed the constraints and reclaim that innate ability to expand, reach, and take up space?

Listen to Your Body

Start by tuning in. Notice where you hold tension, where you feel small, where you’ve learned to fold yourself in. Then, ask yourself: What would it feel like to release that? To stand a little taller, breathe a little deeper, take up a little more space?

Challenge the Shoulds

Where are you living by someone else’s rules? What would happen if you replaced “I should” with “I want” or “I choose”? Give yourself permission to want what you want, unapologetically.

Reconnect with Your Desires

What dreams have you watered down or tucked away? What would it look like to let them grow wild again? Start small. Take one step toward something that lights you up.

Practice Taking Up Space

Literally. Stand with your feet firmly planted. Stretch your arms wide. Speak your truth, even if your voice shakes. The more you practice, the more natural it will feel.

Our bodies are wise. They remember who we are beneath the layers of doubt and fear. They remember how to expand, how to reach, how to take up space. The question is: Are we ready to remember too?

Let’s start today. Let’s shed the constraints, reclaim our power, and step into the fullness of who we are. Because the world needs us — not the small, watered-down versions of ourselves, but the bold, expansive, unapologetic versions.

The body remembers. And so do we. 

Peace and Blessings

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Living with the Intention of Non-Attachment to Outcomes

This or something Better is my prayer - Michael B Beckwith 

 We live in a world that constantly tells us to set goals, make plans, and strive for specific outcomes. While ambition and effort are valuable, an excessive attachment to results can often lead to stress, disappointment, and self-doubt. Instead of fixating on a single outcome, what if we focused on the journey itself? What if we embraced the idea of doing our best and allowing the rest to unfold as it will? Today as I sat to set my intention for the day, I thought about living today without attachment to any specific outcome, to only focus on doing the work to the best of my ability and leaving the rest.

There have been so many situations where I was SURE about how something would have unfolded, then there were times when I placed every part of my being in receiving a specific result and things happening a certain way. When it did not happen, I was devastated - imagine that I was even devastated when the situation even turned out better! 

Non-attachment does not mean a lack of effort, care, or ambition. Rather, it is about putting in the work, showing up fully, and then letting go of the need to control how things unfold. When we become overly attached to a particular outcome, we limit ourselves to one possibility—often missing out on even better opportunities that the Universe may have in store for us.

By choosing non-attachment, we cultivate:

Peace – Anxiety diminishes when we trust the process instead of worrying about the end result.

Openness – Unexpected paths and possibilities arise when we release rigid expectations.

Resilience – We avoid feelings of rejection or inadequacy because we recognize that our worth is not determined by any single outcome. - This has been the toughest lesson for me. Learning to release the feeling of unworthiness when the result shows up differently to how I envisioned it, how I sold it, how I want it. 

Living with non-attachment does not mean we become passive or stop striving for excellence. On the contrary, it means we give our best effort while understanding that the outcome is not entirely in our hands. When we shift our mindset from "What if this doesn’t work out?" to "I am doing my best, and I trust what comes next," we release ourselves from unnecessary mental burdens.

Here are some practices to help cultivate non-attachment:

Set Intentions, Not Expectations – Instead of obsessing over a specific result, focus on the intention behind your actions. Ask yourself, "Why am I doing this?" rather than "What will I get from this?"

Trust the Timing – Just because something doesn’t happen the way we envisioned doesn’t mean it won’t happen at all—or that something better isn’t on the way.

Embrace the Present Moment – The present is where life is happening. Enjoy the process rather than constantly fast-forwarding to the outcome.

Detach from External Validation – Your worth is not determined by whether you succeed or fail in a particular endeavor. Who you are is far greater than any single achievement or setback.

Let Go with Gratitude – Whether things unfold as expected or not, express gratitude for the lessons, experiences, and growth that come from each effort.

So, do the work. Give your best. And then, release it. Trust that what is meant for you will always find you, often in ways beyond what you could have ever imagined.

Peace and Blessings



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