Barnabas Piper's Blog, page 40

7 Traits of Meaningful Authenticity in a Small Group

What do blind dates, your first meeting with a therapist, and joining a small group have in common?

They all feel like complete gambles. You walk in, meet strangers, and try to figure out how to be the kind of honest that develops a relationship but not the kind that makes you sound crazy.

The difference between a small group and the other two scenarios is that this is happening between eight or 12 or 20 people, not just two.

Developing the kind of honest authenticity (as opposed to internet influencer “authenticity”) that makes small groups meaningful can be scary, takes intentionality, and is always a gift from God.

Here are seven traits of true authenticity in a group.

1. Willingness to take a risk

Vulnerability is scary between two people, so opening up about something shameful, scary, or deeply personal in a group can be terrifying.

It’s also the only way for a group to be truly honest with one another. Someone needs to go first. Then someone needs to go second. Then it needs to happen with increasing regularity.

Once will make people feel a little weird. Regular honesty will draw people together.

2. Responding with grace

When someone cuts open their life and reveals the difficult or the ugly aspects to the group, nothing is louder than silence. A response of spoken grace—something like “thank you for telling us, that took guts”—allows them to breathe again.

Following that up with caring questions and immediate prayer shows the whole group that it’s safe to be honest and that all struggles are taken to Jesus’ feet first.

3. Asking bold questions

“How are you?” is a fine question—if you mean it.

Do you really want to know how the other person is? Are you prepared for an honest answer? It’s even better to ask detailed questions about things they’ve mentioned previously, and this means listening and remembering.

You don’t need to remember everything about everyone in your group, but grab hold of a couple needs and ask about them.

4. Answering questions honestly

If people are going to ask boldly then you must answer honestly. “How are you?” can’t have a canned “fine” as a response.

It’s an open door for authenticity, so take it. Tell people if you’re really struggling or it’s been a garbage week or your kids are on your last nerve.

Yes, this feels risky, but it’s a risk with the potential reward of encouragement, prayer, help, and deeper friendships in the Lord.

All you get by saying “fine” is more time carrying your burden by yourself.

5. No euphemisms

Authenticity doesn’t hide behind opaque phrases.

If you’re on the verge of divorce you’re not “having some struggles in your marriage.” If you’re addicted to porn you aren’t “battling some sexual sin” and if you’re battling deep depression you’re not “having a down week.”

Authenticity doesn’t go for shock value; it speaks truth. It calls sin “sin,” fear “fear,” and need “need.” Conversely, it praises and thanks and honors for specific answers to prayer and to people by name.

6. Asking for help

If vulnerability is an all-in gamble, asking for help feels like betting money we don’t even have.

That’s because in a sense, it is. We’re all lacking. We’re not able to be Christians, spouses, parents, employees, bosses, ministers, friends, or just about anything else on our own.

Yet we’re loath to simply say, “I need help.” In a group marked by honesty, people learn to express need and ask for help in real, specific ways—even when it shows weakness or makes them look bad.

Ray Ortlund, the founding pastor of Immanuel Church in Nashville where I serve, often said, “You can be impressive or you can be known, but you can’t be both.”

Asking for help really makes us known, and, while that is scary, it’s also the best.

7. Sacrificial help

In a group marked by God’s grace a person asking for help is simply a glimpse into a mirror. We know our own needs. We know our weakness. Jesus said, “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

So when someone else reveals their need we don’t scoff or judge or distance ourselves. We love as Jesus loved, sacrificially and readily. Their need becomes our need because we are one body.

The net effect of these traits is a group of people deeply aware of each other’s needs and struggles, prone to pray first for any problem, and willing to welcome in a new person at a moment’s notice.

This is because true honesty and authenticity stem from humility before God. They aren’t sustainable by techniques and efforts but only by a constant awareness of our own need and Christ’s great mercy.

When we have that, the risk and sacrifice are worth it every time and over time.

This Article was originally published at Facts & Trends and is used with permission.

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Published on June 09, 2020 03:09

My Dad’s Foreword to The Pastor’s Kid

[image error]You will ask, “Was it painful for me to read this book?”

The answer is yes. For at least three reasons.

First, it exposes sins and weaknesses and imperfections in me.

Second, it is not always clear which of its criticisms attach to me and the church I love.

Third, this is my son, and he is writing out of his own sorrows.

Writing this book has been hard. Maybe it’s more accurate to say that a lot of hardship went into writing this book, some of it in my own family and some of it through the pain of other PKs I connected with along the way. So many PKs carry so much pain and anger and sorrow with them. Some of them have fallen into bitterness, and others are rightly doing the hard work of trust in Jesus to help them through.

I am overwhelmingly thankful that Barnabas is in that last category. It took trust and courage to write this book. The road has been hard. And sometimes, as he says, “We need to pour out what is boiling in us.” When that happens, pressure is relieved and people get burned.

But Barnabas is not out to burn. Not me or any pastor. His aim is healing. “That is part of why I wrote this book,” he says, “to help PKs make sense of, sort through, and express those bottled-up frustrations and pains.” Frustrations built up from carrying an “anvil-like weight,” of being the most “watched”—“the best known and the least known people in the church.”

But the boiling over does burn. “I have been hard on pastors throughout this book. I have pointed out weaknesses and tendencies and failures. I have prodded and demanded and pushed them to be different, to change, to become aware.” My suggestion for the reader is that, if it gets too hot in the boiler room, you take a break from the heat and jump in the pool of chapter eight.

There is a stream of grace that runs through this book. You taste it along the way. But it becomes a pool at the end. A soothing. Barnabas is honest about his own struggles and failures. He has drunk deeply at the fountain of grace. He knows from experience the ultimate solution for all of us:

I desire to point to Jesus as the turner of hearts and the lifter of all burdens. . . . Grace, the undeserved favor of God, through Jesus, is the source of life and personhood and identity. . . . It is in the freedom of Jesus’ overwhelming love that the PK can break out of false expectations and see what it is that makes Jesus happy.

As it turns out, when the boiling is over, and the burns begin to heal, there is hope for PKs and pastors and churches.

“It’s not all bad news for PKs.” Through it all they have been unwitting, and sometimes unwilling, apprentices. They have seen—and many have benefited from—the bad and the good.

We have seen the pleasures of ministry. . . . Helping mend a broken marriage, praying with a heartbroken widow, serving the destitute man who knocks at the door . . . the close fellowship of a united church staff or . . . the deep, humbling satisfaction of seeing God use faithful ministry over time to right a sinking ship of a church.

Boiling over because of painful experiences may be unavoidable at some point, but Barnabas beckons his fellow PKs not to “wallow and bemoan them. Rather we must own what responsibilities are ours: to honor Jesus, to honor our fathers and mothers, to love and support the church, and to go about our lives not as victims but as the redeemed. Grace is here for all of us.”

And that includes the sinful and wounded pastors. “No man is adequate to be a pastor . . . That is a job no person is up for, not alone, not without profound grace. And that is the key to all this: grace.” And, of course, it is true for the wife and mother, watching, with tears, the drama play out between her son and husband, or bearing the weight of her daughter’s rejection.

And finally there is grace for the church. “The church is our family, it’s the family that God gave us, so don’t give up on it. There isn’t a better place out there to be restored.”

When I received the manuscript of this book and read it, I gave a copy to our seventeen year-old daughter. “Would you read this, and then talk to me about how I can be a better dad?” She did. It was a good talk. It’s not over. I suspect she will have ideas about that when she is 30 and I am 80. I hope she will be spared some sorrows because of her big brother’s book. Of course, most of that hangs on me. And, as we have seen, on grace. Which is why I appreciated Barnabas’s encouraging conclusion:

But now I want to express thanks. I want to say that PKs are blessed to have parents who devote their lives to serving Jesus. . . . So thank you, pastors (and spouses). You have given your lives to serving Jesus and His church , and that is a blessing.

– John Piper

I’m grateful for my dad’s honest words and consistent love and support for me throughout my entire life.

And I’m grateful that he read this foreword for the forthcoming audio book too. Keep an eye out for it.

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Published on June 01, 2020 04:08

Some thoughts on Race, America, and Christian Response

How did the overwhelming tragedy in Minneapolis happen?

(Feel free to substitute Baltimore or Ferguson or Louisville or, or, or . . .)

The sinfulness of mankind

Born out over hundreds of years

As one group of people oppresses another

For the color of their skin or their country of origin

And it is not limited to our southern states

Nor to the distant past

Remember, the Civil Rights movement didn’t end in victory

It ended with assassinations, lynchings with guns.

So rage and fear and despair build in that people

For what is their crime but being what God made them?

Until one day an officer harms, no, kills a black man

For the uncountedth time

And the fuse is lit

On the pressurized explosive incendiary device

Of an oppressed and unheard people

So they explode in protests and riots

The language of the unheard

But then, as is so often the case, sin finds a way

The riots become the story,

Those “thugs” and law-breakers become the headlines

And the fuse is forgotten

And centuries are forgotten

And oppression and injustice are ignored

Again and again and again

As George Floyd (or Breonna Taylor, or Michael Brown, or Freddie Gray, or, or, or . . .)

Fades into the background

And political posturing

And cultural white washing opportunism moves to the front

The riots that began with pure rage aged in despair

Become anger infused with greed

By some who simply want to destroy and wreak havoc

And very likely smear a bad name and spray a rotten stench

On all who are protesting peaceably with cause

There’s a time for war and a time for peace

A time to speak and a time to be silent

But for our black brothers and sisters

It seems it is always the time for peace and silence

Never the time to demonstrate or speak

Or protest or fight

But what choice have we left them?

We ask for peace but do not protect it

We demand it but do not honor it or provide it.

The burden of peace in America

Lies on the oppressed and the downtrodden

They must uphold the ease of the oppressors

Now a word to my fellow white Christians:

To call this a “sin issue” or a “gospel issue” is true

Profoundly true, and more than we are ready to recognize

Unless you intend to hide behind those phrases

And use them as a get-out-conflict-free ticket

Or foist the blame for unrest on the oppressed

This tragedy, this unrest, is a sin issue

The gospel is the ultimate resolution to it

The good news of Jesus is the peace the world needs

And the promise of His return is our hope

When our cities are burning

And our leaders are absent

But those are not life boats to escape the Titanic

Of racial and societal upheaval

They are a summons, a call, a command

On our lives to follow Christ and be He was

To lay down our lives for others

To love our enemies

To see that in Christ there is no Jew or gentile

But that we are one

It is your brother who was killed when his neck was kneeled on

And your brother who killed him

And your sisters and mothers who mourn him

And your sons who rage with bricks in hand

And your sons adorned in riot gear and wielding weapons

Christ loves sinners.

Christ loves justice.

Christ loves the oppressed.

Christ loves black.

Christ loves white.

So we do not get to choose a side

We do not get to choose whether to love

Or care or be involved

If we are in Christ

Then we must be as Christ.

We cannot overcome 400 years of sordid history

with blog posts and tweets

or even with a sermon or a vote

but neither can we overcome it without those.

We cannot right the wrongs in our society

in a day or year or a decade

but if we take the next day and year and decade

we can see change happen

Listen to the voices of our black neighbors

Seek them out and sit at their feet

to hear their stories and see the world through their eyes

and recognize that what they see and say will look and sound

very little like the world you inhabit

and the life you’ve lived

even though you share your neighborhood or job or church.

When we can learn to walk a mile in their shoes

we might learn to feel their tiredness

their blisters

and the rutted road we have sent them on.

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Published on May 29, 2020 08:24

New Happy Rant: Judas, That Was Mediocre

In this episode of The Happy Rant Ted, Ronnie, and Barnabas do what they always do and wander to and fro through a variety of topics:

Ronnie’s computer situation
Lying about church size
Hipster nurseries
How to Reconvene as a church well
Reopening church reactions by Enneagram number

TED’S NEW BOOK

[image error]Ted Kluck has released a new book, The Outstanding Life of an Awkward Theater Kid: God, I’ll Do Anything―Just Don’t Let Me Fail. In his typical insightful, humorous, genuine manner Ted tells a story that will resonate with your nostalgia and your children’s present life. It is funny, heart warming, and truly encouraging. You will love it and your kids will too.

Things Have Changed a Bit: A PKs Reflection on Entering Ministry

[image error]The Pastor’s Kid is the first book I wrote, and when it released in 2014 I had no idea what to expect. I simply hoped and prayed it would land in the hands of the PKs who needed it most and in the hands of pastors who needed it, whether they thought they did or not. I wanted it to be a help to pastors’ families and to churches.

In the six-plus years since it first came out God has answered that prayer in ways I never would have or could have predicted. I’ve heard from PKs on every continent except Antarctica. I’ve heard from PKs ranging from adolescent to octogenarian. I’ve heard from pastors who don’t yet have children and from others whose children are grown. I am blown away by how God has used these words.

God has done other unexpected things too. I mention in the book how surprising it was to me the number of PKs who end up in church ministry. Well, in 2019 I joined their ranks – a move I never quite swore wouldn’t happen but that I did my best to avoid for all the reasons described in the pages of this book. I avoided it, that is, until God made it unavoidable.

This move, this calling, has made the words of this book that much more poignant to me. As I considered full time ministry, I had to weigh the reality of my calling and the realities it would introduce for my own kids. I needed to take my own words into account, my own experiences, my own struggles. My biggest concern, aside from my own worthiness to serve at my church, was how it would affect my kids. And that was scary.

But it was hopeful too. On the one hand nobody is prepared for vocational ministry, but on the other hand God had uniquely prepared me for it. . . just like He does so many other PKs. My experiences and struggles – our experiences and struggles – were a training ground that I had no desire to be on. But God knew they would ready me to serve and lead my church and my children better.

It’s one thing to write a book about ministry families as a sort of neutral bystander, where I was in 2014. There is safety in that distance and freedom to write and say pointed things with little blow back or cost. But I lost that safety when I stepped into a ministry role, and I think that is a good thing. I have to live my words now, to follow my own instructions, to be the sort of parent I call other pastors to be. That’s a bit terrifying.

It’s also exciting and encouraging. When I feel lost or like I’ve blown it as a minister-father I have my own words, my own standards, to revisit in order to find my way. My own words can hold me accountable and set a standard for me. My own pointed assertions are now pointed at me. I need that. And my kids need that from me too.

I hope you’ve enjoyed (or at least appreciated) listening to this book. I still hope and pray it lands in the hands of the PKs who need it most and in the hands of pastors who need it, whether you think you do or not. But now I am one of you, both groups, so the message of this book means more to me and now and hits closer to home than it ever has.

The Pastor’s Kid: What It’s Like and How You Can Help releases from The Good Book Company on June 1. This article is the new afterword that will be included in the audio book when it releases later in the summer.

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Published on May 25, 2020 01:05

New Happy Rant: Joint Facebook Accounts, Pastors and Tech, and Book Deals

In this episode of The Happy Rant Ted, Ronnie, and Barnabas do what they always do and suss out a variety of topics:

Piper went on an Enneagram podcast
Joint Facebook Accounts
Doing church outside
Online church shopping
Pastors and technology
rejecting endorsement requests
Ted’s new book
Ronnie’s pending book deal
Conference friends

TED’S NEW BOOK

[image error]Ted Kluck has released a new book, The Outstanding Life of an Awkward Theater Kid: God, I’ll Do Anything―Just Don’t Let Me Fail. In his typical insightful, humorous, genuine manner Ted tells a story that will resonate with your nostalgia and your children’s present life. It is funny, heart warming, and truly encouraging. You will love it and your kids will too.

New Happy Rant Sports: Michael Jordan, Manhood, and Leadership

In this episode of the Happy Rant Sports Episode Ted and Barnabas discuss a variety of topics:

Panning the Packers’ draft
The Last Dance
90s Sports hate mail
Jerry Krause’s success
Pathological competitiveness
Manhood and Pride
Different Leadership Styles over the years

Get Your Coffee

[image error]WE ARE COFFEE MOGULS AGAIN. We’ve joined forces with Redbud Coffee, based out of Auburn IL, to bring you deliciously roasted and beautifully packaged coffee. Check out their variety of roasts and be sure to use the code HappyRant at checkout to get a 10% discount off your purchase.

Be sure to visit HappyRantPodcast.com where you can:

Order your Redbud coffee
Connect with Ted, Ronnie, or Barnabas to speak for your church, organization, or event
Support the podcast through our Patreon page . This helps us cover production and hosting costs so we can keep this thing rolling

To listen you can:

Subscribe in iTunes.
Listen on Google Play
Listen on Stitcher
Listen via just about any podcast app/streaming service out there
Leave us a rating in iTunes (it only takes 1 click and it really helps us).
Listen using the player below.

Episode #42

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Published on May 13, 2020 04:59

4 Differences Between Believing and Unbelieving Doubt

The word “doubt” is an uncomfortable one in most Christian circles. It’s something that is frowned upon or even condemned in many church circles. But that doesn’t stop us from doubting; it just makes doubting shameful for many of us. We don’t know what to do with it, who to talk to about it, or how to talk about it. We just know that our questions feel like they are pulling us away from God.

But what if they aren’t? What if doubt isn’t inherently wrong? And what if doubt is something that doesn’t necessarily undermine our faith but can actually lead us deeper into faith? How we respond when we doubt determines whether it is “unbelieving doubt” (that which leads us away from faith) or “believing doubt” (that which leads us to deeper faith).

Here are four ways to distinguish unbelieving doubt from believing doubt.

1. Unbelieving doubt asks questions in order to challenge. Believing doubt asks questions in order to learn.

Think about a prosecutor asking questions of a witness. He isn’t asking questions to learn something but rather to disprove something, to make a point. He has the answers already and is challenging the witness. This is the attitude of unbelieving doubt. It puts God on the witness stand and treats Him as if He owes us answers and as if we are the authority.

Now think about a young child asking her parents questions. She has total trust in their ability to answer and is simply seeking to learn and understand. This is what the Bible calls “childlike” faith and is a good example of believing doubt. It isn’t sure. It doesn’t know. But it asks with trust in the one who has authority and power.

2. Unbelieving doubt takes questions to anyone but Jesus. Believing doubt takes questions directly to Jesus.

When we doubt in an unbelieving way our instinct is not to seek the Lord in prayer or through His Word. Our instinct is to hide our doubts, to pose questions to friends, to seek experts, to read, to explore. While all of these (except hiding) can help us, we usually make the mistake of doing them in lieu of going to Jesus. Whether it is out of guilt or arrogance (or both) we turn away from Him and act as if He doesn’t hold the keys to belief. We disregard and dishonor Him by thinking we can find a better solution anywhere than in His Word and His presence.

Now consider the father from Mark 9 who brought his demon possessed son to Jesus, the father who uttered that simple, profound prayer— “I believe; help my unbelief.” He came to Jesus as a doubter. He expressed his doubts to the Son of God. And he asked for help with them. He was not rock-solid confident. He wasn’t certain. He doubted, and he came to Jesus with that doubt in his time of need. And Jesus helped him, as He will for every doubter who comes to Him. This is the response of a believing doubter.

3. Unbelieving doubt questions God’s character because He is beyond our understanding. Believing doubt trusts in God’s character because He is beyond our understanding.

At its base, doubt is simply not knowing something, not being sure. And it is inevitable because we are finite and sinful people who are called to trust in an infinite and perfect God. We simply can’t understand everything about Him. We will encounter numerous aspects of God’s character, plan, and work that befuddle us because His “wondrous knowledge is beyond” us (Psalm 139:6).

So here’s the rub: when we are befuddled, do we see that as reason not to trust God or do we see that as evidence God is eminently trustworthy? Unbelieving doubt sees mystery as a threat and as ominously untrustworthy. When it doesn’t understand something about God it sees that as a mark against God’s character.

Believing doubt, on the other hand, reflects Hebrews 11:1. “Now faith is the reality of what is hoped for, the proof of what is not seen.” When believing doubt encounters the unknown it responds with faith—resting in what it does know about God’s character and promises from His Word to find confidence in what it doesn’t understand. The mystery is not a threat but rather a promise that God is working in ways beyond our limited capacity to see and understand.

4. Unbelieving doubt says, “not Your will, but mine be done.” Believing doubt says, “not my will, but Yours be done.”

Adam and Eve were the original unbelieving doubters. They listened to what God told them and decided they knew better. Unbelieving doubt is willful rebellion against God just like theirs. It is the insistence that we know better than God and would be better off if He did things our way. Ultimately it seeks to subjugate God to our authority.

Christ sets the example for the believing doubter. In our moments of greatest uncertainty and in the face of our biggest fears and questions we are to respond as He did in the garden of Gethsemane: make our plea to God for help and then submit to His perfect will. We will not always get our way. We will not always get clear answers. But God will always hear us and respond to us. He will give us what is best and what we need. And, on top of His example, the work of Christ Himself gives us this assurance.

[image error][image error]For more on faith and doubt check out my book Help My Unbelief: Why Doubt Is Not The Enemy of Faith and the accompanying 6 session small group study.

This article was originally published at LifeWay Voices and is used with permission.

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Published on May 12, 2020 08:14

New Happy Rant: THE MOST IMPORTANT PODCAST

In this episode of The Happy Rant Ted, Ronnie, and Barnabas do what they always do and wander to and fro through various topics:

We we don’t record with video
Get out of your own way
The Hollis Co. vibes
The Happy Rant Co. and our positions in it
The most important book of your LIFE
Vulnerability voice: still ruining everything

Sponsors

Thank you to our sponsor for this week’s episode: Dwell Bible App. Dwell is a Bible listening app that we love! If you are looking for a convenient, fresh way of spending more time in God’s word Dwell is ideal. Go to https://dwellapp.io/happyrant to get 33% off your subscription.

Order Your Coffee

WE ARE COFFEE MOGULS AGAIN. We’ve joined forces with Redbud Coffee, based out of Auburn IL, to bring you deliciously roasted and beautifully packaged coffee. Check out their variety of roasts and be sure to use the code HappyRant at checkout to get a 10% discount off your purchase.

Be sure to visit HappyRantPodcast.com where you can:

Order your Redbud coffee
Connect with Ted, Ronnie, or Barnabas to speak for your church, organization, or event
Support the podcast through our Patreon page . This helps us cover production and hosting costs so we can keep this thing rolling

To listen you can:

Subscribe in iTunes.
Listen on Google Play
Listen on Stitcher
Listen via just about any podcast app/streaming service out there
Leave us a rating in iTunes (it only takes 1 click and it really helps us).
Listen using the player below.

Episode #295

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Published on May 07, 2020 07:11

5 Differences Between Real and Fake Authenticity

I’m loath to even make an attempt at redeeming or defining the word “authenticity.” It’s a buzzword that’s been used and abused to the point of relative meaninglessness.

But it’s a word that matters and that is worth using well. By definition, it is a word that reflects truth and genuineness—things we need as followers of Christ.

These days we see “authenticity” used prevalently as an excuse to express opinions or feelings with any choice of language, regardless of time or place or audience. “Authenticity” is used to build personal brands for social media influencers.

But authenticity used in either of these ways is decidedly inauthentic; rather it is a defense mechanism or a curated presentation of one’s self.

In a small group context these faux versions of authenticity are detrimental at best.

They hinder relationships. They suppress honesty. They dominate a conversation so those who really need help and a listening ear aren’t heard.

Ultimately they distance people from one another instead of doing what honest authenticity does, drawing people into real relationships before Christ.

Here are five differences between genuine and fake authenticity.

1. Fake authenticity seeks to be known of. Genuine authenticity risks being known.

Are you sharing to present an image or to be honest about what is really going in your heart or life? Are you curating openness so people feel pity for you or are you admitting you need help?

They often sound the same, and it’s the motive that is the difference. The biggest difference is the vulnerability and risk each is willing to take.

Fake authenticity may sound like it is taking risks, but they are calculated, avoiding the costliest admissions of failure and need.

Genuine authenticity is willing to put all the hard, ugly things in the pen for the sake of being truly know, loved, and helped.

2. Fake authenticity burdens others. Genuine authenticity shares burdens.

One version of authenticity only thinks of offloading burdens, getting things off its chest, and venting.

It takes burdens and places them directly on others but never shoulders their burdens. It is honest in what it says, but not humble and caring toward others.

Genuine authenticity stems from a humble heart that considers others and recognizes burdens must be shared.

It’s an exchange of honest help and depending on the Holy Spirit for wisdom and strength.

3. Fake authenticity is defensive. Genuine authenticity is open to counsel and correction.

The version of authenticity that’s become prevalent is one that announces its opinions and feelings with impunity and acts as if they are right simply because they are spoken.

It may offer a window into the sharer’s soul, but it’s a locked window to keep everyone out.

It gets defensive when people get too close with follow-up, prayer, and especially advice or correction. It wants to be heard, but not changed.

Genuine authenticity shares for the very purpose of hearing from God’s people. It recognizes a need for direction and prayer.

4. Fake authenticity doesn’t care about offending. Genuine authenticity considers others’ feelings and well-being.

“No offense, but. . .”

“. . . but that’s just my opinion”

Fake authenticity leans heavily on phrases like this in order to speak “honestly” while also taking liberty to be a jerk.

The words may be true, but the heart behind them is hard and inconsiderate.

It speaks hard truths in hard ways with little thought as to who is listening or how it will be received. Genuine authenticity speaks the truth with love.

It considers how words will land on listeners’ hearts. It’s authentic in its kindness and consideration, not just its opinions and declarations.

5. Fake authenticity disregards others’ privacy. Genuine authenticity protects others’ stories and privacy.

Many times other people play a key, but negative, role in the stories we share. How we discuss them is a significant indicator of whether our authenticity is real or fake.

A willingness to be “authentic” about other people’s failures and sins is a clear sign of fakeness.

We use it to make ourselves look better and to tilt others’ impression in our favor. And we’re hurting others as we do it.

Genuine authenticity speaks the truth without gossip or slander. It doesn’t make us look better than we are or shift blame. And it’s willing to love in a way that “covers a multitude of sins.”

This article was originally published at Facts & Trends and is used with permission

Image by vivienviv0 from Pixabay

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Published on May 05, 2020 06:48