Tim Fargo's Blog, page 7

They're liars! Yeah, but you believed them. A political education.

  Marge, "I can't believe it Homer, you lied to me"
  
  Homer, "It's not just me Marge. It takes two to lie, one to lie and one to listen.". 

  The Simpsons sure are funny. But maybe Homer has a point. Duh! Yep, I think Homer is on to something. If we get lied to all the time, maybe we have a gullibility problem.

  If we have politicians who are full of excrement, how did they get elected? More importantly, how do they get re-elected?

   To illustrate a point, I love quotes. One of my favorite sources for quotes is Will Rogers. One of my favorite of Will Roger's quotes is:, "Everything is changing. People are taking the comedians seriously and the politicians as a joke." When you consider that Rogers died in 1935, and wasn't familiar with the "Daily Show" it becomes a bit apparent that our "new problem" isn't new at all.

  Politicians have been bending and shaping the truth for as long as there have been politicians. For an equally long period of time, people have been frustrated by this phenomena. But, as Plato, an even older source of information said, "One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics is that you end up being governed by your inferiors."

   So, if you have had enough of this truth void, getting involved can be a simple matter of paying attention at a critical level. Stop listening to quick pitches, or being lulled into complacency by your short-term good fortune. Spend time actually learning the facts. Build a BS detector in your brain. Stop being governed by your inferiors.

  It may not be in the ten commandments, but believing nonsense is almost as bad as concocting it. Listen to Homer. Lies are only effective when they are believed. You can't stop them being told, but you can develop the critical thinking to recognize them as they are being spoken.

   Good luck.

An interview with DRUNK HULK aka "The Most Interesting (DRUNK) Man in the World"

  As a fledgling author and newbie to the ether of the internet social marketing, today I have the opportunity to interview a MAN WHO IS ALL CAPS, ALL THE TIME. LIKE A KEYBOARD COATED WITH VIAGRA.

For the record, DRUNK HULK is an absolute Twitter phenomena. He is rapidly approaching 200,000 followers, and I know that his family is not that large (pre-interview background check).
That MAN, who is far better known that I ever will be (unless I get a Booz Allen job and then do a bit of hacking) is DRUNK HULK. A ROUND OF APPLAUSE... (CLAPPING IN THE BACKGROUND) FOR OUR GUEST DRUNK HULK.
WELCOME MR. DRUNK, OR SHOULD I CALL YOU HULK? 
WHATEVER!
DO I HAVE TO CONDUCT THE INTERVIEW IN CAPS OR CAN I REVERT TO NORMAL TYPING? WHATEVER YOU ARE COMFORTABLE WITH REALLY?  
WEAR WHATEVER HAT YOU LIKE! DRUNK HULK NO CARE!
Wow, thanks. I was getting slightly dizzy. Not sure how you maintain that all caps pace. Is it mostly training or natural ability? Or, may I ask, are there performance enhancing drugs involved?
DRUNK HULK NEVER TAKE PERFORMANCE ENHANCING DRUGS! THIS BODY IS WORK OF ART! DRUNK HULK HAVE BELLY LIKE SALVADOR DALI MELTING CLOCK! ALL THANKS TO STEADY REGIME OF ALCOHOL! AND TACOS!
Now, the legend is that you started DRUNK HULK as a bit of a lark. Is that true, or had you received some special PSYCH OPS training prior to gaining mental control of your audience?
DRUNK HULK NEVER WANTED TO BE DRUNK HULK! BUT THEN ONE DAY DRUNK HULK WENT TO COLLEGE! DRUNK HULK PASS COLLEGE WITH 5.0! UNFORTUNATELY! THAT BAC! NOT GPA!
DRUNK HULK WANTED BE LAWYER! BUT NEVER COULD PASS BAR! WITHOUT STOPPING IN AND ORDERING BEERS!
AND DRUNK HULK NEVER HAD PSY CHOPS! DRUNK HULK PRETTY SURE PSY STILL ALIVE! AND EVEN IF HE DEAD! DRUNK HULK HAVE NO INTENTION OF RESORTING TO CANNIBALISM!
So, for the record, you claim no prior history in PSYCH OPS, or Special Forces training. How then, have you managed to amass such a loyal following?
DRUNK HULK MADE MISTAKE OF FEEDING 194,000 PEOPLE! AND THEN THEY FOLLOW DRUNK HULK HOME! NOW DRUNK HULK GOT TO TAKE CARE OF THEM ALL! LIKE GREMLINS! OR BALDWINS!
Wouldn't you agree that using ALL CAPS IS CHEATING?
YOUR OBSESSION WITH HATS IS WEIRD! ANYWAY! HOW COME EVERYONE ONLY FREAK OUT ABOUT ALL CAPS!? BUT NOT ALL FEDORAS!? OR ALL KIPPAHS!? IT NOT SEEM FAIR!
Moving on, I am sure all the women reading want to know, is there a DRUNK HULKETTE?
DRUNK HULK HAVE MANY GIRLFRIENDS! BUT IT NEVER WORK OUT!
DRUNK HULK DATE BARTENDER ONCE! BUT SHE REFUSE TO TAKE HER WORK HOME WITH HER!
DRUNK HULK DATE ANOTHER BARTENDER FROM TGIF! BUT SHE GOT CAUGHT SWITCHING TOP SHELF ALCOHOL WITH CHEAP STUFF! THAT WHAT DRUNK HULK GET TRUSTING SOMEONE WHO ALREADY LIE SIX DAYS OUT OF EVERY WEEK!
DRUNK HULK DATE NINJA ONCE! BUT SHE BREAK UP WITH DRUNK HULK! SHE SAY DRUNK HULK NEVER NOTICE HER!
LAST GIRLFRIEND DRIVE DRUNK HULK TO DRINK! THEN SHE DRIVE DRUNK HULK HOME! SHE WAS KEEPER! BUT HER HUSBAND DISAGREED!
Does your unofficial title of "Most Interesting (DRUNK) Man in the World" put pressure on you to use ALL CAPS, even when you're just trying to enjoy a dozen beers like an ordinary guy? 
DRUNK HULK JUST LIKE YOU! DRUNK HULK RIP PANTS ONE LEG AT TIME!
Just personal curiosity, do you like Hello Kitty?
DRUNK HULK PREFER GOODBYE PUPPY! LESSER KNOWN CHEAPER VERSION THAT YOU CAN BUY IN RETIREMENT HOME GIFT SHOPS!
So would you say you are essentially a GREEN ALL CAPS DRUNK BUDDHA with a more obvious sense of humor?   
NO! DRUNK HULK NOT SAY THAT AT ALL! THIS IS WHY!
FIRST OFF! DRUNK IS CONDITION! SO THAT ADJECTIVE GO BEFORE COLOR! ALL CAPS SHOULD GO FIRST! SO IT WOULD BE ALL CAPS DRUNK GREEN BUDDHA! TWO THINGS IN LIFE TO REMEMBER! RESPECT YOURSELF! AND RESPECT YOUR ADJECTIVES! HEMINGWAY RESPECTED NEITHER! AND LOOK WHAT HAPPEN TO HIM!
A little plug, um, did you know my book, Alphabet Success is free on Amazon's Kindle site today? 
DRUNK HULK DID KNOW THAT! YOU TWEET ABOUT IT SO MUCH! DRUNK HULK THOUGHT ALPHABET SUCCESS WAS EITHER NEW BATMAN! OR WAS ABOUT TO INVADE SYRIA!
I know you are tremendously busy, generally wasted, and unaccustomed to a world without CAPS but have you happened to read Alphabet Success ?  If so, any thoughts for my readers or potential readers?
INITIALLY DRUNK HULK NOT WANT TO READ YOUR BOOK! DRUNK HULK ALREADY KNOW ALL 29 LETTERS IN STUPID ALPHABET!
BUT YOUR BOOK REALLY ABOUT BEING SUCCESSFUL AND MEETING YOUR GOALS! TWO THINGS DRUNK HULK ALREADY HAVE! BUT THINK IT GREAT BOOK FOR PEOPLE WHO NOT PERFECT LIKE DRUNK HULK! GOOD READ!
Thank you on behalf of all our readers as well as myself. It is a honor to meet you. I THINK I SPEAK FOR EVERYONE IN SAYING, KEEP IT ALL CAPS, ALL THE TIME. KEEP US ON THE ONE TRUE WANDERING PATH THROUGH THE WOODS AND ALLEYS. Man, that ALL CAP stuff makes my fingers hurt. Thanks again.
DRUNK HULK PLEASURE!

That concludes our interview. Thanks for stopping by. Click here for your free copy of Alphabet Success. 

The 10th Anniversary of my Financial Freedom Looms! #BLOWOUT #FREE #PRIZES #CONTESTS -

   Sept 10th, 2003, is a date I won't forget. I was nervous as hell. Heart palpitations, hand wringing, you name the nervous tick, I was on top of it! It got so bad, I called my doctor and explained that I was probably dying of a heart attack. He was not persuaded, and told me to calm down. Ha! If it would have been that easy, I'd have done it from the start. OK, I guess I was being slightly hysterical.

   As evidenced by this and other posts, I made it. But in spite of the work and effort that went into growing Omega Insurance Services, it all seemed unreal. Less than seven years before I was designing my logo in Word while I made sales calls from the kitchen table off a rental apartment. So this day was truly dreamlike, with me mentally waiting for the alarm to go off.

   Obviously, that did not happen. We convened in a boardroom, in an atmosphere of absolute levity, and signed the final documents. The "transfers" were made into my accounts. Wow. While a myriad of things led to that moment, that was the finish line. The moment when everything actually changed. A bizarre mix of elation, sadness, exhaustion and a burst of energy seemed to inhabit my body. All the while I continued making all the appropriate noises, "great to be on board, and "this is going to be awesome" (it was already pretty awesome). Poker face central.

   Fortunately I was saved by a party we were throwing. Nobody, outside a few key people, knew what was happening, a party seemed a good way to "cushion the shock".It did, in part, do exactly that.

  Which brings us to the impending 10th Anniversary, and the "virtual" party we'll be throwing to mark the occasion. And in the spirit of open disclosure, there is a major book promotion for "Alphabet Success" at the heart of the festivities.

   The questions most of you have been waiting for are: 1) What are you giving away? 2) What are the prizes? and 3) What are the contests?

1) We are giving away free copies of my new Kindle book, Alphabet Success from 12 midnight Pacific Time to 12 midnight Pacific Time on September 10th, 2013.

2) The prizes include: 20 - $25.00 Amazon.com gift certificates, and $1,500 in cash prizes. That leads us to our final answer...

3) I'm not saying. The day of the event we'll be interacting with people on Twitter (@alphabetsuccess) and LinkedIn. Primarily the former. It will be a little like a radio show. We'll make an announcement, and something will be happening that you need to respond to in real time. For example (a good one, wink wink) you might need to be the 8th person to retweet a given Tweet or comment on a LinkedIn message. But there are plenty of other methods that will be employed to give out cash and prizes, but we're not saying until the day of the event. For the purpose of clarity:

The contests will be conducted on September 10th, 2013. With the exception of one contest for which the winner will be decided later. The times will include a bit of September 10th around the world, since I have followers in pretty much every time zone. I'm going to try to online for as long as Red Bull and adrenaline will keep me in the game, but we may hit some down time due to my human form.

Will it be fun? Yes  Do you need to buy anything to win? Absolutely not!

For more information, please contact me at tim@alphabetsuccess.com

Free at last! Um...Free again! Well, you get the idea.

   Almost ten years ago, on September 10, 2003, I sold Omega Insurance Services, a little less than seven years after we started doing business, and to say my life was changed would be a massive understatement. To be 42 and know you will never need to work again, is a pretty delightful feeling. In essence, I was free. Not in an insane Bill Gates sort of way, but plenty free for me.

   So, with the tenth anniversary of the event coming up, I decided to mark the day with another Alphabet Success giveaway. A way of celebrating my freedom over the last ten years by giving you a tool to help you get your freedom, or if you already have it, keep it.

  If you don't already know, Alphabet Success is a wonderfully short, very readable Kindle book available on Amazon.com. You can download and read it on any tablet, some phones, and obviously a Kindle.

    What is the book about? It is a distillation of the elements I think were most critical in my success as a business person as well as my success in other areas of my life. There are people who talk about the life they dream of having, and then there are those who go out and make it happen. If you want to be in the latter category, reading the book would be a very good idea.

    What secrets are in the book? None. Zero. Zip. Nada. You probably already know everything I will tell you in the book. However, you aren't using it on a daily basis to effect change in your life. Just like having a garage full of tools doesn't make you a mechanic, having the tools to succeed isn't enough to make you successful. You have to use the tools and master them.

    Will the book make me successful? If you let it. There is no plane ticket to success. There is no little bit of magic that will pop you into the life you want. There is a set of tools, and then a fair bit of work to be done. But it can be fun, joyful and the ride can be an absolutely amazingly blissful experience.

   Isn't this just common sense? Yes. But with that in mind I will leave you with two quotes from two people far more successful and well known than me:

    There is nothing more uncommon than common sense. - Frank Lloyd Wright

    There seems to be some perverse human characteristic that likes to make easy things difficult. - Warren Buffett

   September 10th, 2013 from 12:00 to 12:00 Pacific Standard Time. Download it, read it, apply it. Repeat as needed.

On Airports....

   As someone who travels nearly every week, I have encountered innumerable airports, and have become fascinated, and repulsed at times, by the variations in how they are operated. Since an airport serves as a sort of informal ambassador for a city or nation, it would seem worthwhile to examine some of the items which differentiate a good airport from a bad one.

   In short, an airport can be a way for a city to be viewed in a superior way, simply by viewing an airport as more than a slightly high-end bus stop. The most monied people coming to and through your city will experience your airport. Making the experience a great one gives you an edge as a city destination.

   As two examples of airports which I have frequented that are quite good, Munich and Tampa sort of stand out. They are not so enormous that they require orienteering skills to navigate, and they are spacious, comfortable, have free wi-fi, helpful staff etc. Tampa is one of my "home" airports, and I give it extra credit since I have spent enough time there for things to go badly, but aside from an occasional TSA debacle, they've done a great job.

  Since I am giving out compliments I may as well throw a spear. First prize for an airport that makes me insane is Frankfurt. It doesn't even seem German to me (not efficient or organized in any logical way). The complexity of the place, along with the complete disdain I have encountered from staff there is what has prompted me to carefully book connections to/from Wroclaw through Munich. The Frankfurt airport is not visually pleasing, it does not have (at last visit) free wifi, it isn't comfortable, there is not an abundance of restaurant selections. In short, I really dislike the airport, in a visceral sort of way.

   Without further ado, here is my mental bombardment regarding the state of today's airports:



Simplify Transfers
   For some airports this is not an issue at all as all carriers board and disembark at the gate. However, numerous airports around the world use buses as an alternative means of getting people to and from the aircraft. The stated reason is that it is a question of expense for the airline. They make a determination of which method to employ based upon the cost they incur using one method versus another.

   However, there is another question buried within this one. How can it be that the expense of using the gate (which was put there for the express purpose of getting to and from an aircraft) ends up being MORE costly to use than a bus which is operated by an outside vendor? The consensus I have from discussing this with fellow travelers is that the gate fee is set  artificially high, creating an opportunity for an entrepreneur (see friend of someone within the hierarchy of the airport) to run a bus service to shuttle passengers back and forth to a plane.

   Frankly, whatever the bus transfer should go the way of the dodo. It is one more step in an already tedious process of getting from point A to point B. You wait for your gate to open, then board a jammed bus, then are dropped at a plane (often within 100 meters of where your journey began), only to begin a que yet again. It would be least expensive, if somewhat problematic in certain weather, to just let passengers walk to the plane. In Europe and Asia many budget carriers handle things that way, and though you occasionally get wet or cold, it eliminates a pointless additional process.


Free Unlimited Wifi
   To some this might seem a bit silly. Especially if you typically have short layovers. However, for those folks sitting for a few hours in an airport, the ability to "connect" if simply for entertainment value, is a major plus. Moreover, business travelers, who do not always have access to a business lounge, can make use of their prolonged layover by knocking out a few items on their to-do list.

   In anticipation of the issues around trying to provide unlimited wifi to an increasingly video watching, bandwidth consuming audience, you can always pay for it through sponsorship. Offer a business the chance to be the "sponsor" of wifi for your airport. There are innumerable potential sponsors that would have an interest in people's online behavior while in an airport, as well as perhaps simply having the interest of developing a bit of goodwill with the "captive" audience that is waiting for their next "literal" move.


Provide Seats Designed for Humans
  Before the purchasing manager buys seats for an airport, they should be forced to sit in them for over a hour. This would eliminate the sadomasochistic choices which seem to prevail in many airports. People transiting an airport actually need to occupy these seats. They often have, especially in larger airports, long layovers that make an extra bit of comfort quite welcome. Does this actually have to be brought to an airport designers attention.

   Ditto for seat quantity. If the size of an aircraft which can "dock" at a given gate has a maximum of 200 passengers, I'm guessing having at least 200 comfortable seats in the waiting area would be a good idea. The number of times I have had to mind a gate from afar is mind-boggling. Has someone broken the calculators of airport personnel?



Duty Free - Really?      Here I will be brief. Once upon a time duty free items were actually inexpensive. Now the only reasons to buy duty free is that you want booze for Scandinavia (where almost any price would be a discount from the local one), the other is that you don't feel like exchanging the remaining local currency you have, or finally, you have been away far too long and feel obligated to buy things for whomever at home is a bit sick of you being away. Otherwise, duty free is very rarely inexpensive, and often equal to normal retail prices. These shops will likely die under the weight of their own ineptitude and lack of competitive pricing.
  Restaurants for Human Consumption
   For some reason dining in an airport is often an exercise in either a) paying extortionate rates for pathetic food or b) paying slightly less extortionate rates for pathetic food. 
   Foodies will bemoan my suggestion, but I honestly would love for airports everywhere to open things up to U.S. style chains. While the food is never "awesome" it is consistent, edible, and can be produced for a price that normal humans can tolerate paying even with the inevitable airport markup. Do I think Subway "rocks"? No, but I know the sandwich will be decent enough, and not cost a ridiculous sum of money. Ditto for McDonalds. Funny about McDonalds. Everyone bitches about them, but they seem to sell a lot of food. Probably because, while nobody is expecting an extraordinary experience, they will get filling food and pay a reasonable price.

People will actually need the toilet!
   It is amazing to me how poorly planned some airport bathrooms are. The size of the entryways, the actual quantity of bathrooms, or stalls in bathrooms. In some instances, you can add an apparent lack of concern about the apparent hygiene of the bathroom and you have a truly toxic brew of nastiness. Overused and under maintained, wow. Now that makes an impression.
   This is even more baffling considering the number of people who will pass through an airport must be a pretty predictable calculation. Flights are scheduled, and there are a certain number of people per flight...you get the idea. This isn't planning a moon colony. 

The Joy of Taxis!
   One last item, and it certainly ranks pretty high on the list, is the control of taxis at the airport, and the city for that matter. Too often there is no control. And when there is, it is not enforced. People trying to skirt the meter, charge you off-peak rates, the scams are almost endless. In Kuala Lumpur, they have a law that the taxi has to use the meter. Trying getting the driver to follow that one is a bare knuckled boxing competition. They'll just refuse to take you. 
   To me this one resonates with the overtones of "Welcome to Our City - Please Enjoy Doing Business with a Criminal". I realize it might not be easy, but London manages it as does Bangkok. Given the complete difference in cultures the experience should be possible to duplicate.

What Do You Think?
  Am I just a grumpy guy who travels too much (and bitches a lot)? What do you think of airports and your travel experience?  What would you make different? Do you agree that the airport is the "town greeter". Please e-mail me at tim.fargo@hammerfest.com with your comments.