C.S. Wilson's Blog, page 4

Feral Fifties - Joining the Circus

I took this to heart when I saw it,
and have been living by it since 2021

In the summer of 2021, a friend of mine from NaNoWriMo posted some pictures of her circus journey with Old Lady Circus Club, and I was instantly intrigued. I mean, who hasn't watched a Cirque show and wondered if they could do some of those cool things? I asked if I could join her sometime, and on August 26, 2021, I ran away and joined the circus. We started with the aerial sling, and it was amazing! Like playing on the playground, but the sling felt secure. 

I dove into circus 100%. Despite being much older than the other gals in OLCC, I was welcomed with open arms. Trying something new is always terrifying, especially something like this, but the warm welcome instantly set me at ease. Circus became my "me time". 
Oh my Lord, y'all, the bruises. The bruises are epic. Painful, yes, but a source of pride in a twisted way. Sling is probably the most painful, and leaves bruises that look like you've been flogged. Lyra bruises look like you've been caned. Trapeze didn't leave a lot of bruises, but I definitely came home with rope burn more than once. Silks, while the hardest to master, don't bruise as badly as sling, and I think that's because you can adjust the tension. When I was beginning my circus journey, I swore I was going to have Jay make me a shirt that said, "my hubby doesn't beat me, I play circus". It got to where I would warn massage therapists and doctors before I ever disrobed.

I failed to take pictures for the first few weeks of OLCC, but then week four came along and we learned to do two very basic drops. I had to break out the phone for those!

Angel drop(But I think it should be called the Dracula drop)
360 drop

I really enjoyed playing in the sling, even without the drops, and it was a great foundation for me as a fifty year-old beginner.

Airplane
Seahorse
Hip key
There's probably a name for this shape,
I just don't know what it is.
Gazelle

One of the greatest things about OLCC was that we had the opportunity to spend a few weeks trying out different apparatus. Lyra and I became fast friends; it was more intuitive to me. I understood how the solid ring would move under pressure, so I felt as though I picked up skills more readily.

Mermaid. This stupid skill took me weeks. It's not physically hard,
but mentally it kills me.

Span set skills on the top of the lyra are terrifying, and some of my very favorite skills. I didn't get to work top bar stuff until I moved out of OLCC and into actual classes, but immediately fell in love. 

Double knee hang
Straddle back

Gazelle
Gazelle
Iron Cross
After lyra, we moved into silks. I'm not gonna lie, my heart and soul love silks. My body does not. For the past three years, I've been intermittently taking the beginner silks classes hoping that my strength will catch up to my will and it hasn't happened yet.
3 years in, and I still can't climb
Fabric management can be
incredibly frustrating
No idea what this shape is called

Same shape as above, 
different angle
Witch's broom
Iron cross with knot in silks

Iron Cross without knot in silks
After a session on silks, we transitioned to dancer trapeze. Like lyra, it was more intuitive to me, but with the potential of rope burns.
I have no idea what this is called,
but it's cool
I also don't remember the name
of this shape.
I can't seem to find most of my trapeze pictures, which is sad, because I had some really cool ones. 
Of course, life circumstances changed a bit, and I had to step away for several months, then struggled to get back into it. The struggle is mostly mental, because I've gained back a lot of the weight I'd lost (thanks menopause) and I'm not playing with the same ladies that were in OLCC - we've all moved on to other things. As OLCC fizzled out, I moved into regular classes, and I love them, but it's not the same close-knit support system.

Feral Fifties - Learning Grandma Skills

Losing weight on Noom, and gaining a lot more confidence in what my body can do, happened to coincide with turning fifty. I like to tell people, "I quit my job, got a bunch of ink, and joined the circus." 

That's not entirely untrue. I left my job at the career college in 2019, on my fifteenth anniversary. I wasn't quite fifty when I made that jump. I didn't like the way the college was going, and morally, I couldn't do it any more. I used to be proud of the impact I made on our students, and knew that the graduates I was putting out into the field were the very best of the lot. However, over time, I became more and more constrained by corporate. I was being told to do things that went against every fiber of my being, and I just couldn't do it any more. 

As soon as I found out about our surprise Gremlin, I embraced the whole grandma thing and learned to crochet. I mean, what is more grandma than crochet? My great-grandma had tried to teach me when I was young, but gave up in frustration when I struggled with even finger crocheting a chain. My Grandma Mary also tried to teach me, but gave up. Luckily, I ran across an ad for the Woobles. I was feeling optimistic, riding on the high of successfully learning new things in the recent past, and bought Fred the Dinosaur.

The Woobles were able to teach my what two grandmas had given up on. More specifically, the Woobles YouTube channel that I could stop, rewind, slow down, and watch as many times as possible without the tutorials becoming frustrated. Jay hasn't quite picked up crochet yet, but considering the number of times  he had to listen to the tutorials, I have no doubt he could pick up the yarn and go to town.

I tell you what, it's a good thing I'd learned perseverance throughout my lifetime, because trying to pick up this skill was tough. I frogged Fred more times than I could count, but I finally succeeded. Then, I made a second one so Gremlin could have one at each parents' house. I took my new-found crochet confidence and jumped into another project. I decided that since I didn't have the skill when the kids were little, that they were all getting some crocheted critter in their Christmas stockings.

Not even the animals were safe - I started making things for them to wear as well. Tally the Turtle got an Avs sweater, the horses got Christmas stocking caps, L.E.'s dog got a Christmas hat, the cats got witch's hats.

The Gremlin got the bulk of my crocheted critters, of course, and I had a great time making them. 

This was supposed to be a dragon blanket,
but I got overwhelmed and mounted it for Gremlin instead.

After this, I swore I'd never use glow-in-the-dark yarn again.
Once in a while, though, I'd find a project that wasn't for Gremlin, and just enjoyed making little keepsakes.
This was a weekend Halloween project in AZ.
What a treat to sit by the pool in late October to crochet.
I made these little sloths to commemorate
our trip to Costa Rica
There was one crochet project that I started a month or so before Mom and Bill's accident. There is a group of us old bloggers who keep in touch and call ourselves the "Squirrel Brigade". My intent was to make a squirrel for each of the bloggers' households, just as a fun little thing. After the accident, I couldn't bring myself to make more. I tried, but I lost my mojo for that project. Last year, I packaged it up and sent it to Rachel and Mr. Daddy (remember them, from Once Upon A Miracle?) for their second little miracle child.


Grief is dumb sometimes, but I hope their young 'un can enjoy the squirrel.

More Maggie

Last Saturday, Chief came by for a couple of hours to cut in the new window. It's amazing how much light breaking up the north wall added.

That was a long, unbroken wall, but we needed light.
I'm so thankful for Chief.
Adopt your kids' friends, it's worth it.
Maggie feels completely different.

Opening up Maggie's back wall was amazing. I originally didn't want a third window there, because I wanted wall space for shelves. This window was the right choice. I still have wall space, just not as much, and what I have should be sufficient.

While Chief was busy giving Maggie more natural light, I spent the time to put a solar light in a chandelier I found on FB Marketplace. I had no way to hang the chandelier, so I fashioned a hanger out of some project wire we had around the shop. It's not a pretty hanger, by any means, but who's going to pay attention to it, when the chandelier is so pretty?

Worth the $15 on Marketplace.
I waited anxiously for sundown to light it up.
Looking in through the stained glass window.

The solar light was much brighter than I expected it to be, and I made sure to buy one with a remote control, so that it could easily be turned on or off. Now, I just need to find a new light for Whimsy. The "chandelier" I had for her finally burned out and needs replacing.

The Magical Potting Shed, Part 4

While we ladies managed to get Maggie's roof on, albeit askew, Maggie had a bit of a mullet going on. The roofing tin that we found was much too long, but none of us had the expertise to cut it, so we left it for Chief to do the next time he came to visit.

The roofing panels were about 5' too long.

I did the tiniest bit of research and found that I needed to buy a different saw blade to cut the metal safely. Holy cow, that was expensive, but I wanted Chief to be as safe as possible while cutting these back. Ashinator laughed at me when I insisted on keeping my trauma kit within reach while Chief was doing the cutting. I don't know what it is about cutting metal with a circular saw that terrifies me, but I didn't breathe easy until he was done.

She looks much better without a mullet.

After the Chief finished with the roof, he framed in and hung the last non-negotiable from my list: the door. I learned a lesson from Whimsy, and made sure that the door was hung with the hinges on the right so I wouldn't have to work the hose around the open door to get it into the shed.

With the door, Chief had completed the project I laid out for him. Jay and I spent one evening replacing the broken window panes, and once that was done, Maggie was as ready as she could be for winter.

My plan for Maggie, besides acting as a potting shed, is for her to double as a "guest room" for those times when the kids want to crash at our place. Our house is far too small for any overnight guests, so it'll be Maggie to the rescue. 

Trying out Maggie's camping cot.

It's tight, but Maggie will fit an oversized camping cot and a twin air mattress. She'll function as a place to sleep and that's about it, but it's better than nothing. Nebalee and a dear friend of mine tried it out after a movie night in October. It was cold, but they did manage to sleep in there with a space heater.

Every magical place needs a dragon night light.

My to-do list, which I need to complete before April, includes cutting in another window along the back wall for more light, adding insulation, and putting OSB up on the inside to finish the walls. I still need to sand and seal the potting bench, but that shouldn't take more than half a day.

And, of course, both Whimsy and Maggie need painted to finish complete them. That, I hope to have done no later than the end of June. I'd love for it to be earlier, but Colorado spring weather can be complicated.

The Magical Potting Shed, Part 3

After working for just food for a couple of weekends, Chief had to spend some time with his family, and I grudgingly allowed it.

Unfortunately, we were quickly approaching October, and storms were on the horizon. I needed to get the roof on. LE generously let me pilfer the barn for bits and pieces, and I found some tin roofing material. It didn't quite fit the whole roof, so I hit Home Depot and bought a couple of clear greenhouse roofing panels to work in with the scavenged ones.

A couple of friends from work volunteered to come play Rosie the Roofer with me. We meticulously measured, laid out the panels, and had a plan. It wasn't going to take us but a couple of hours.

Measuring and marking, getting ready to put up the rafters.

Turns out, Lizzy the old truck, was just the perfect helper.

Despite all of the careful planning, measuring, laying out that we did, once we started putting up the panels things went sideways. Suddenly, things were not going so well. We forged ahead, making adjustments here and there, until we got a roof on Maggie. Her roof sits a bit askew, and it made us crazy until we realized that we'd assumed she was square.

She was not. An inch here or there makes a difference, and her north (back) side is a touch shorter than her south (front) side, so even though we laid the rafters square, the building itself is not. I, frankly, love it and I smile big every time I look at her crooked little "hat". It reminds me of Minerva McGonagall's jaunty hat.

Credit: Harry Potter FanZone
See? The roof is sitting at a jaunty angle. It's perfect.

Our "just a couple of hours" project turned into all day, but it was a ton of fun. My friend's son even joined us and made a gnome home out of 2x4 scraps.

My little gnome, cozy in his new home.

The Potting Shed, Part 2

It took me a while to get my poop in a group and get started, but I managed to hire movers to move the potting bench out of LE's basement and coordinate with Ashinator's best Marine friend, Chief. In September, 2023 we broke ground.

My non-negotiables for the potting shed included:

The stained glass window from the lodge,"Vintage" windows from Mom's cabin,The "potting bench" from LE's basement,An old door that had been living in one of the barns that I fell in love with.

We literally built the shed around the potting bench.
I 'rescued' some pallets from work to use.
Chief worked fast. This was all the first day.
I was astounded by how much someone who knows what they're doing can do in just one day. It would have taken Mom and I at least two days to get this far. Building a frame instead of just putting it together like a puzzle is genius, not to mention the correct way to do it.
Ashinator mentioned that the potting shed was looking "quirky", which became its working name. It fit.
Bright and early the next Saturday, Chief was back at it, putting the windows in. Some of the windows were missing panes, broken from being removed from the cabin, but I wasn't worried about it, considering Mom and I had become glass cutting "experts" with Whimsy.
Non-negotiables numbers 1 - 3 complete.
She looks like a real building with walls.

The requisite "I helped" picture.
I might not know a thing about framing walls,
but I can use a square and saw.

Again, I was amazed at how much Chief could accomplish in just a day, and I'm so thankful he volunteered to do this. All I had to do was feed him! I definitely got the better end of the deal.

By the end of the day, "Quirky" fit as a name. 

However, the minute we started putting the OSB up, she no longer looked quirky. I was floundering for a name, until LE walked out and said, "oh, she looks magical". Ashinator and I agreed that she did, indeed, look magical and immediately "The Magical Potting Shed" stuck. I love how LE just casually comes up with the perfect names. Ash immediately shortened "Magical" to "Maggie", which I embraced. Maggie was named within a day or so of Dame Maggie Smith's death, so it seemed even more fitting.

Welcome to the family, Maggie.

The Potting Shed, Part 1

 Following my failure with getting seeds to start in Whimsy, I decided we needed a potting shed. And, it just so happened that the Bionic Cowgirl was getting the windows replaced in her cabin, which meant more free windows! I seriously can't let an old window go to waste.

Plus, there was this amazing stained glass window that she'd brought down for Whimsy that we never got incorporated, so I had to build something to hold the window, right?

This window stood sentry outside of Whimsy,
just waiting for me to figure out what to do with it.

Plus, LE had offered me a cabinet a few years ago. The catch was that I'd have to get it up from her basement without ruining her beautiful floors. It was a heavy piece of furniture, with bins for flour and sugar, but, more importantly for me, a pull-out bread board for rolling dough. That piece of furniture was never far from my mind, and last spring I had a eureka moment in which I realized that would be the perfect potting bench. There were drawers for supplies, and two tilt-out bins that we could put potting soil in. It needs some love, but not a lot. I'll strip the paint from the top, sand it and the pull-out board, and seal the surfaces with polyurethane, then she'll be ready to go.

It needs some love, but not a lot.

Old windows from Mom's cabin, a stained glass window that she and Beel found in the lodge attic, and a potting bench from LE. All signs pointed to being required to build a potting shed. My mind made up, I hired movers to get the potting bench up from LE's basement and chose a spot near Whimsy that would be easy-ish to reach with a hose.

I gathered some pallets from work and contacted a friend of Ashinator's to help with the build. I knew that I had to make it less air-flow-y than Whimsy, so I had to call in someone who know what the heck he was doing.

The Potting Shed, Part I

 Following my failure with getting seeds to start in Whimsy, I decided we needed a potting shed. And, it just so happened that the Bionic Cowgirl was getting the windows replaced in her cabin, which meant more free windows! I seriously can't let an old window go to waste.

Plus, there was this amazing stained glass window that she'd brought down for Whimsy that we never got incorporated, so I had to build something to hold the window, right?

This window stood sentry outside of Whimsy,
just waiting for me to figure out what to do with it.

Plus, LE had offered me a cabinet a few years ago. The catch was that I'd have to get it up from her basement without ruining her beautiful floors. It was a heavy piece of furniture, with bins for flour and sugar, but, more importantly for me, a pull-out bread board for rolling dough. That piece of furniture was never far from my mind, and last spring I had a eureka moment in which I realized that would be the perfect potting bench. There were drawers for supplies, and two tilt-out bins that we could put potting soil in. It needs some love, but not a lot. I'll strip the paint from the top, sand it and the pull-out board, and seal the surfaces with polyurethane, then she'll be ready to go.

It needs some love, but not a lot.

Old windows from Mom's cabin, a stained glass window that she and Beel found in the lodge attic, and a potting bench from LE. All signs pointed to being required to build a potting shed. My mind made up, I hired movers to get the potting bench up from LE's basement and chose a spot near Whimsy that would be easy-ish to reach with a hose.

I gathered some pallets from work and contacted a friend of Ashinator's to help with the build. I knew that I had to make it less air-flow-y than Whimsy, so I had to call in someone who know what the heck he was doing.

Planting in Whimsy

LE and I were both so excited to have a greenhouse to start our plants in come Spring of 2024. I was beside myself, thinking I was going to be a "real" gardener and start things from seed!
LE found an old cart in her shed, and bought everything we needed to start our garden in the greenhouse. We spent a delightful afternoon, scooping soil, tenderly placing seeds, and labeling. 
LE's perfect little garden cart.
LE placing the labels and getting ready to mist the soil.

LE had lots of things she wanted to start, but I only had one thing in mind: San Marzano tomatoes. Jay uses San Marzanos when he makes his marinara and I wanted to grow some. Over the summer of 2023, while we were building Whimsy, I had planted four of them, but they struggled and I got less than a quart bag of 'maters for the freezer. I was determined to do better in '24.
I did not do better. 
Turns out, while I intended Whimsy to be a greenhouse, and she had lots of windows and happiness, she still wasn't warm enough over night to help our seeds germinate.
A day or two after we planted the seeds, LE ended up having to take them into her house and put them in a sunny window.
I decided right then and there that we needed a potting shed!
Even LE's life-saving measures of taking the trays of seed into the house weren't enough to salvage most of what we planted. 
Nebalee wanted a San Marzano, so I planted one and gave it to her. It didn't have time to fail in Whimsy, and it ended up being an amazing plant for her - she got tons of tomatoes from it. 
Nebalee's San Marzanos produced and produced!
Ours? Never germinated.
We ended up having to buy plants - a huge failure in my eyes. I was determined to grow from seed. I mean, it's a necessary skill for the zombie apocalypse, right? How am I going to feed myself and have food to barter with if I have to buy seedlings from a store?
I found someone nearby who had managed to start some from seed.
They loved living in Whimsy for a bit
I got a few 'maters until Blossom End Rot got them.
I guess I loved these guys a little too much, too. 
Welcome to LE's Enchanted Tomato Jungle!
Her tomato seedlings grew like wildfire!
Tomatoes weren't the only thing I wanted to grow from seed. I had some amazing corn and popcorn I wanted to grow, but that was a direct sow into the ground, and I waited until after Mother's Day to plant those.
I'd also decided that I wanted to grow sunflowers to pretty up our propane tank. There had been irises there, but they hadn't come up in the last couple of years, so I went ahead with the sunflowers.
I did okay with the direct sowing. I got a few ears of corn from the sweet corn I'd planted, and the sunflowers came up. 
You can see the holes in the leaves from the plague of locusts
(okay, they were grasshoppers, but same thing). Why grow yellow sweet corn when you can grow
Blue Jade sweet corn?
I even managed to keep the concord grapes alive, and planted some kiwi berries that managed to live through the summer. Only time will tell if the kiwi berries wintered well.
The Gremlin is the cutest garden helper
Kiwi berries
I wasn't a complete gardening failure.
Maybe my black thumb is trending toward brown. 

Um, What?!

On August 2, 2022, I got a mysterious message from Digger. He wanted to come over for dinner. That, in and of itself, isn't mysterious. It was the ominous, "I've got something to tell you" followed by Ashee messaging me to see if Digger had talked to me yet that made me wonder what was going on.

He was obviously nervous about telling me something, which was very weird. My kids and I have been through some shit together, and I couldn't think of a single thing he could possibly be afraid to tell me. Seriously. What could he possibly have done that was so bad that he was afraid to tell me? And that he had to go to his siblings for support before coming to me? I finally coerced him to just spit it out.

And, oh my, I did not see it coming.

He finally found the nerve to tell my that Jay and I were grandparents. Not going to be grandparents. Were grandparents. 

Wait...what?

We'd had false alarms in the past with Digger, and Monster had a daughter who we've never met (that's a whole other story for another time). As far as I knew, Digger wasn't dating anyone, and hadn't since his previous girlfriend a year ag...oh.

Now, I know my boys are man-whores with questionable taste in women, but I thought I'd taught them all about birth control. I drilled it into their heads when they were younger. I even bought a box of condoms for all the kids to use, and left it under the bathroom counter. I told them that if they or their friends needed more, to just let me know, I'd refill it, no questions asked. I told them all about Planned Parenthood and that if they didn't want to come to me for more condoms, they could swing by and pick some up for free from there. Hell, I'd even offered to take Digger's high school girlfriend to PP to get birth control if her parents wouldn't.

I didn't condone my teenagers having sex, but I was also realistic about the world we lived in. Just because I managed to get through high school a virgin didn't mean my kids were going to do the same, even if that's what I'd prefer. On the flip side, I also told them not to marry the first person they slept with (like I did) and that if they ever got pregnant out of wedlock that I'd forbid them from getting married. Marrying just because someone got pregnant accidentally rarely works out well. I want my kids to marry for love, not because they got knocked up.

Apparently, Digger's ex had gotten pregnant before they broke up, but didn't realize it. Once she did, she hid the pregnancy and birth from him. Digger only found out because their mutual friends got tired of covering for her and threatened to tell him if she didn't. She finally told him about Gremlin when he was three months old.

Finding out he was a dad shook Digger's world. He's always been great with kids, and we knew he'd be a fantastic uncle if his sibs ever decided to have children. He, however, had never planned on having kids because of his disease. From the time he turned 16, he'd been determined to get a vasectomy to avoid passing his genetic burden on to any of his children. He never got around to the vasectomy, and obviously the lesson about always using condoms didn't stick, so now we have Gremlin.

We hurriedly arranged a baby shower, and everyone got to meet the newest member of the family. Digger had met him in his ex's presence a couple of times prior to the baby shower, but this was the first time the rest of us got our hands on the little one.

Look at how in love Digger is!
This was one of the few times Beel got to meet his greatgrandson.

When Grandma Nita died, our family went from four living generations to three. It was very odd. My entire life, we'd always had more than the normal number of living generations. When Digger and Ashee-butt were born, we had five. When Great-grandma Wheeler died, we were down to four. We hung out with four generations for decades, and Grandma Nita was determined to live to see five again. 

Sadly, that didn't happen, and we dropped down to three, with the Bionic Cowgirl as the matriarch.

Now, we're back up to four.