Sally Ember's Blog, page 46
June 5, 2016
How to write a Synopsis! — Chris The Story Reading Ape’s Blog
Originally posted on Plaisted Publishing House : First of all what the heck is a synopsis? To many of us it is a book blurb, it is what we write to get a readers interest. Many are found on the back of a book. However, there is much more to this than many realise. Synopsis…
via How to write a Synopsis! — Chris The Story Reading Ape’s Blog
Filed under: Writing
10 Free Writing Contests with Cash Prizes — Kate McClelland
Originally posted on Silver Threading ~ Fairy Whisperer ~ Writer, Poet, & Book Reviewer: Great news! More writing contests with CASH Prizes! WOO HOO!❤ Source: 10 Free Writing Contests with Cash Prizes
via 10 Free Writing Contests with Cash Prizes — Kate McClelland
Filed under: Writing
June 3, 2016
“The Friday TV Report” 12 + Netflix! from Sally Ember, Ed.D., and her mom
“The Friday TV Report” 12 from Sally Ember, Ed.D., and her mom
Every few weeks starting in the fall of 2015, or when there are new shows or returning shows’ first episodes, I (Sally) plan to update this with our opinions. Check on Fridays! This is the eleventh post, for five weeks ending 6/3/16. Also, as of 5/14/16, we removed all shows that have been discontinued/canceled since we started this posting. As of 5/23/16, I added potential news shows to watch for the fall of 2016.
BACKGROUND
My mom, 84, and I (61) are probably not the “target demographic” for almost any show on television or any movie being produced currently. We live in the suburbs of St. Louis, Missouri, USA (Midwest, for those of you unfamiliar: think of that huge “Gateway Arch”? That’s here). I grew up here but then didn’t live here for 42 years; I’ve been back for about one year, now. We were both raised Jewish, but I have been a meditator since 1972 and a practicing Buddhist since 1996. We are both Caucasian women-born-women. We are considered “middle class” although we have almost zero dollars of “disposable income.” My mom is hetero; I am bisexual. We are both partly disabled. I am highly educated (doctoral degree plus other training); my mom has extensive work-experience, with a high school diploma.
My mom has been a TV watcher for over 60 years. I watched a lot as a kid, but from about 1972 – 2002, I didn’t have a TV and hardly watched it elsewhere, either. I usually didn’t have a TV between 2005 – 2014 as well, but I watched some shows online (Hulu, usually) or Netflix.
We think we should be part of a group that at least some producers are aiming to please, because we (especially Mom) now watch a lot of television. We also get movies regularly from DVD borrowing through our local library. We even occasionally go to a theatre to see a movie. We eagerly await the “new season” of television every one of the four times it seems to occur every year: “Fall Sweeps” happen, but so do Mid-season Sweeps, Mid-year New Seasons, and channels with an entirely different set of “seasons.”
AND, UPDATE: We (in late 2015) started to have Netflix!
However, we are consistently disappointed that many shows we do like are cancelled and some shows we despise seem to go on forever.
Again in Spring-Summer, 2016, I/we continue through the year with this Report.
image from http://www.tophdgallery.com
We don’t watch: most “sit-coms,” any zombies or vampires, reality shows (except one on BBC), extremely violent shows, premium channels (HBO, Showtime, Starz), “teen” shows.
Fall TV + Netflix, 2015 – Spring/Summer, 2016
Our planned evening viewing line-up for shows (updated frequently) is as follows, sort of in calendar order, BUT, those I’ve already reviewed get “bumped” to the bottom of this post.
Scroll down if you don’t see a show “on top” that you want to read my review of.
NOTE: Our viewing “schedule” includes a lot of recording-and-watching-later, due to simultaneous broadcasts and my early bedtime.
**usually only Mom watches
*usually only I watch
NEW SHOWS
Weeks ending 5/6/16
*Preacher AMC (May)
*Cleverman Sundance (May-June)
*Feed the Beast AMC (June)
The Tony Awards (CBS special, 6-12-16)
Brain Dead CBS (June 13)
NETFLIX Premier dates for 2016 (some are not new shows, but they’re new to us):
[We don’t know anything about these show, below, but may check some out.]
Flaked – March 11
The Ranch – April 1
Lost & Found Music Studios – April 1
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt – April 15
Kong: King of the Apes – April 15
Marseille – May 5
Word Party – June 3
Stranger Things – July 15
The Get Down – August 12
NEW/AS YET TO BE SCHEDULED on TV
For the summer/fall of 2016:
This is Us NBC
*Making History Fox
The Blacklist: Redemption NBC
The Jury ABC
MacGyver CBS
*The Good Place NBC
Frequency CW
Miranda’s Rights NBC
Shots Fired Fox
Timeless NBC
Broken ABC
*Doubt CBS
Great News NBC
Zoobiquity Fox
**Chicago Justice NBC
Conviction ABC
Emerald City NBC
**Bull CBS
The Death of Eva Sophia Valdez ABC
Pure Genius CBS (10/27)
Bunker Hill CBS
Marvel’s Most-Wanted ABC
Drew CBS
Notorious ABC
**Presence ABC
Time after Time ABC
Imaginary Mary ABC
Pitch Fox
RETURNING SHOWS (tried and liked, up until now… Won’t comment on them all, but a few are worth mentioning.)
*Orphan Black
Cool return: they seem to have gone backwards or into a a parallel universe in which the original clone character (Beth, the cop) isn’t yet dead (or else one of the other clones is playing her…?). And, there is another new clone, but some of the same original clones from the lst season(s). Only watched one Episode and am mostly confused, but intrigued. Wondering if I missed an entire season or what?
Will keep watching, just to find out!
Tatiana Maslany is amazing. If you haven’t seen this show and love great acting, tune in (but it does get a bit violent, sometimes).
Keeping
Grace & Frankie (on Netflix) Season 2 (May-June)
AS YET TO BE SCHEDULED, Returning
*Halt & Catch Fire TBD
Longmire (Netflix)
From Previous Weeks’ New Shows Reports
(only some are kept for more than a few postings, below)
The Great British Bake Off
It’s on again with new contestants and it’s excellent! This is only reality show we watch because the baking concoctions and watching the bakers create them are fascinating, always unusual and new to us, informationally. Many funny moments, but not at any baker’s expense, usually, which we like.
Plus, none of the competitors is actually a professional baker: a student; one makes satellites; a retired teacher; one also paints. So interesting that these individuals chose to compete in this way.
RECOMMENDED HIGHLY. Wish we could taste the entries!
Blindspot
Very unnecessary gratuitous violence and nudity in the opening scenes: trigger warnings for sexual and child-abuse violence as well. I say “unnecessary” because the opening scene for getting a message to the FBI Agent could have happened ANYWHERE. He didn’t even have to be on duty to get a message, right? So, right away, my mom and I are not liking this show’s choices.
Second, it’s unnecessarily confusing, which seems to be what passes for art and mystery these days in both TV and film scripts. Guess what, writers and directors: making the scene so dark the audience can’t see what’s going on, making the audio so muddy no one can understand what’s being said or overlaying the music so loudly the dialogue gets lost is not “cinema verite.” It’s “cinema awful.”
Third: how about dispensing all together with the growing popularity of conveying important information to the audience by attempting to put a text message to a character on screen? Between the terribly small text sizes, poor resolution on the cell phones’ screens and bad camera angles, WE CAN’T READ THE MESSAGES! Duh!
Fourth, the story for this pilot was also extremely cliched and not very interesting, except for the sub-plot (which should have been the main plot, given the hype for this show) regarding the identity of this amnesiac protagonist. We find her interesting. The crimes she’s supposed to help solve: not so much.
UPDATE in November: We’ve been watching weekly. It’s somewhat interesting but also quite absurd and getting more so by the week.
We probably plan to keep watching, but we bet we won’t like it much and we also bet it’s cancelled soon.
Rosewood
Refreshingly NOT CAUCASIAN, not all heterosexual (but not “camp,” either), not too serious version of “non-cop with special abilities working with police” dramedy.
Strange casting for Anthony Michael Hall as a grumpy detective, but great to see him, again. Liked Lorraine Toussaint in her somewhat minor but obviously recurring role. Liked the main character and his sister’s banter a lot.
Definitely keeping this one.
Quantico
My mom and I liked Quantico for the first half or so. Then, it devolved, as so many do, into chases and violence and not much (else?) to commend it.
The premise was supposed to be that this is a show about a new cohort of recruits at the FBI federal training academy (Quantico) in the USA. Why didn’t they stick with that? Why did they think they needed a terrorist bombing/ “moles”/ multiple deceptions-based plot?
We know it’s an FBI show and we did expect some of the above. But, really, when more than a few minutes of every show is devoted to pursuit chases and macho posturing/inappropriate blame and shaming, we look at each other and say: “Not enough plot, eh?”
UPDATE in November: going back in forth in time from the cadets to the present is a good idea but not done well at all. Relying too much on different hairdos for the female characters and who’s having sex with whom to anchor the timeline (who cares?). Still watching, but not sure why.
We’ll probably watch one or two more episodes, but we bet it’s cancelled.
Colony
We were very confused and a bit impatient with the way this series’ pilot throws viewers into the middle of an alternate Earth near-future without sufficient explanations. However, we kept watching and did enjoy the pilot, despite our bewilderment.
We liked seeing Josh Holloway, since we liked him so much in the all-too-soon-cancelled Intelligence, and Amanda Righetti, from The Mentalist, which we loved.
But, we never watched Lost, The Walking Dead or Hercules, so the others are new to us, except for Peter Jacobsen, from House and Madam Secretary, and Paul Guilfoyle, from CSI.
Luckily, I had taped the “Colony: Behind the Wall” show, which we watched after we saw the pilot. That was excellent, because it explained a LOT. We also got to see how and why they established some of the special effects and sets for this series. We are now looking forward to seeing the subsequent episodes.
Without giving away too much. we appreciated the parallels the producers/creators are deliberately creating between Nazi-occupied Paris and a hypothetically occupied Los Angeles, asking us all (and all the characters are also asking themselves and each other): what would you do? Would you be a collaborator or a resister? Are you a pragmatist/selfish/greedy “winner,” or are you trying to keep going with “normal” life while wresting control from the occupiers and collaborators as you do? What lengths would you go to and what risks would you be willing to take under these circumstances?
Excellent questions and cool concepts.
You can to the series’ website and choose your side and see what you get into there! http://www.colonytv.com/
Keeping this one.
*The Magicians (new to me, Season 2)
Don’t know how I missed this last year, but catching up, now, and liking it enough to keep going. Kind of trite, but interesting. Liking Anna Dudek in the headmistress role.
Keeping, for now
*Full Frontal with Samantha Bee (2/8/16)
I loved Samantha Bee on The Daily Show and awaited her new individual show with great anticipation. I was not disappointed.
Bee was funny, insightful, appropriately outraged and very bold, extremely feminist and “in-your-face,” but since I agree with her POV, this all worked great, for me. I laughed out loud and sighed with relief at many of her “bits.”
Finally: a feminist’s POV delivered with wit and humor about this horrible election season! Yeah! And, more coming, I’m sure.
Definitely keeping!
*The Catch 3/24/16
Watched both of the first two episodes and are hooked by the twists and intrigue. Mireille Enos (who bears an uncanny resemblance in voice, appearance and style to Ellen Pompeo of Grey’s Anatomy; guess producer/creator Shonda Rhymes has a “type”!), Peter Krause (a very different role from the geeky dad/husband in Parenthood!), Alimi Ballard (loved him in Numb3rs), Jay Hayden, who is unfamiliar to me as are Rose Rollins, Jacky Ido and Elvy Yost, comprise a strong cast.
Good to see Sonya Walger in another eveil beauty role: she’s gso good in these!
Keeping.
RETURNING SHOWS Reviewed previously
Stitchers
The new season hasn’t started, yet (March, 2016), but my mom and I found Stitchers in the spring of 2015, late into the season, so we’re very glad we have the DVR set to record re-runs. ABC-Family is showing last season’s Episodes (some of them, anyway) in preparation for the mid-season return of this great show.
Because it’s on ABC-Family, all the violence is low-key and mostly off-camera (yeah!), while the characters and plot are much better than on “adult” stations.
Take a hint, “adult” stations: this is what TV should be like!
Keeping and excited to have it return with new Episodes in 2016, on its newly named BOOM station.
Scorpion
Could be that this show, like so many, is becoming a bit too formulaic, a caricature of itself. This season’s opener had a few too many “Oh, one of the bizarre genius’ amazing ideas, number four, didn’t work, so we’re going to die” moments. It was good to see the lead from Forever (Alana De La Garza) showing up as a recurring character in this show, since Forever was unfortunately cancelled and she was great in that.
However, like Mysteries of Laura, why do writers believe that they have to introduce a class-A horrible person as a new character to create tension or conflict? Can there really be no other way to bring in a new collaborator or boss than to have that character be a grouchy idiot or plain stupid or both?
Please, also, tell us: why does Katherine McPhee almost never sing in this show? She has a spectacular voice. What a waste.
Probably keep watching, but not as excited about this show as we were last year.
Mysteries of Laura
Writing is tighter, which we appreciate (less silliness, more story). Not all the first year’s characters are “back,” but most are. There is a new addition who has so far been given a very trite role, but we liked Callie Thorne a lot in Necessary Roughness, so we’ll see how it goes.
Someone should tell Debra Messing‘s hair stylist to tone down her dye job. Number one: what police detective could afford to keep that up? Number two: it looks awful on her.
What happened to the chef/love interest for Messing’s character? It is not credible and is a slap to feminists everywhere that the writers would be reuniting her romantically with her cheating ex just because he got shot. We really hope that is not where this season’s plot is heading.
Keeping this one on our watch list, but skeptical.
NCIS New Orleans
Good start to the new season. Like the new character (female, African-American, kind of snarky and good at her job).
Shalita Grant, on her own Instagram account.
Plot was so forgettable, though, that it’s hard to remember it even one day later. Not a good sign.
Speaking of not a good sign: since when does anyone go undercover into a very tight-knit, paranoid network with less than one day’s preparation and no experienced handler? Ridiculous.
Also, why do so many of these law enforcement shows involve one or more characters who come into some money and then use some of it to purchase a bar/restaurant? Why do they all drink so much alcohol?
Prediction: drinking is going to go the way of smoking in media. Remember: EVERYONE used to smoke, good guys, bad guys, women, kids; since about 1985, only bad guys or historical figures smoke on screen and very few public places allow it anymore, either, because IT KILLS PEOPLE. So does alcohol. Drinking will disappear from all but the most ritualistic, celebratory or heinous occasions and characters’ habits, and no one who drinks will drive, unless the storyline dictates that they die or kill others. Life will soon follow.
My mom plans to keep watching. I probably won’t.
**Grey’s Anatomy RETURNS 2/11/16
I am a long-time fan of this show, especially, Ellen Pompeo, so glad this opener featured a lot of her. Like her shorter hair, also. Good to have a strong story featuring Miranda Bailey’s character; she’s creator/producer Shonda Rhimes‘ counterpart, for sure.
Loved the anti-homophobia storyline and the actions/discussions this inspired, especially for parents of LGBT kids and for everyone about bullying. Excellent PSAs built right into the show.
Not sure where they’re going with the marriage of Jackson and April or why they’re making Arizona such a ditz. Need to fix all that.
Do not miss Patrick Dempsey at all.
Glad Grey’s is back.
Scandal RETURNS 2/11/16
Glad this opener was a lot less violent than many of the Episodes last year. Hated those. Had to fast-forward through much of those B6-13-ish scenes. Since Olivia’s father’s character is absent and the actor playing him took a new job (as medical chief on Proof), who will the new villain be?
While it is fun to see the Prez finally get with Olivia right in the West Wing, her character is correct when she says that they can’t just waltz into a new relationship as if everything is fine when the President takes a mistress while still not divorced.
Please explain to us, though, why the obviously psychotic and possibly amnesiac ex-Vice-President, Sally, gets to mouth off as if she is occupying some moral high ground when she murdered her own husband? Did everyone else forget that, too?
The Princess Diana storyline seemed oddly placed and very out-of-synch with everything else. Why have that?
The writers may have painted themselves into quite a few corners at this point, it seems.
Plan to keep watching, but where is this going?
How to Get Away with Murder RETURNS 2/11/16
Glad Viola Davis won the Emmy. She deserved it. Good acting by her and many on this show is not enough to save it, though.
The writers of this show are a weird bunch, for sure.
Not liking the incestuous undertones and physicalization between her character and Wes (Alfred Enoch; yes, from Harry Potter films!). NOVEMBER: NOW they’re hinting that he may be her child??? ICK ICK ICK.
Not liking the very late-in-the-storyline and oddly placed introduction to her character’s being bisexual, although we don’t mind that she is at all.
The writers seem to enjoy making almost every character psychotic and murderous. How many are they planning to kill or frame?
UPDATE in November: Only 2 more Episodes. Not liking the way the writers start with the end and then bring us forward to that point each week by giving little hints along the way as to how the characters get to that juncture.
The production values are so bad and the timeline jumping done so poorly that we have no idea what’s going on most of the time. Filming is too dark and cuts are too quick. Dialogue is not loud enough.
We do keep watching but we’re glad when it’s over. Too dark without much to redeem it.
Blue Bloods
My mom LOVES this show and watches re-runs for fun, mostly because she loves Tom Selleck as the family patriarch and Chief of Police. So, with great anticipation, we started watching the season opener.
What a disappointment. Why, oh writers, do you think Blue Bloods and your fictional NYC should continually deal with Islamic terrorists and terrorist threats? Not only does it fan the flames of anti-Islam sentiment in this country (the last thing we need), but it’s BORING, predictable and flat.
This episode made Danny’s character (played somewhat woodenly by Donnie Wahlberg this week) even more of a jerk than usual. Then, it had the hilariously unlikely premise that somehow, out of thousands of police detectives and officers, only the Reagan family’s detective, Danny, and his brother, Jamie (Will Estes), on patrol could possibly be involved in the same terrorist plot.
Once again, Erin (Bridget Moynahan) was put in a terrible position regarding a conflict between her job and her dad’s job’s wishes. BTW: Whatever would they do without Erin in the DA’s office? Whom else could her male police relatives trust and manipulate?
The writers then gave Grandpa, Danny’s family, Erin’s daughter and the supporting cast members almost nothing to do. They succeeded in making what can be and often is a great ensemble show with intricate, non-overlapping but thematically-linked storylines into nothing more than a bombing plot/chase fiasco.
My mom is very pissed and comments almost very week, that she doesn’t understand why Jamie Reagan hasn’t been promoted to detective.They made him into an excellent patrol officer and show that he is interested in being a detective, but he apparently has never applied, sat for the exam, or been promoted in five years.
That is unlikely and bizarre, but I just shrug and say: “The writers only want one Reagan in each job.”
VERY BAD CHOICES for this opener. I may not keep watching, but my mom is faithful.
NCIS
Watched the season opener a week late so we could also watch Part II right away, but we don’t understand how there can be a “Part II” to this episode. Aside from that, good to see everyone back and glad that Gibbs is better than okay after seemingly dead and dying several times at the end of last season and in this episode.
Way too much of the medical parts, though, so we fast-forwarded through them all. Using the operating table and its vagaries to provide flashbacks and “back story” is such a overused convention that we were not clear on the reasons for it in this episode, unless it’s to pave the way for Gibbs’ having some kind of retirement crisis.
Tony’s character is developing some complexity, which we like. But, they’ve given very little to the others to do and we miss Ziva.
Definitely going to miss Michael Weatherby for 2016-17.
Keeping this one.
Marvel Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.
Why did they choose not to do a “re-cap,” and then have a few characters “catch us up” by talking about what we all “missed,” which turns out to be way more than where we last left off.
Also, why is Ming-Na Wen gone (plays Melinda May, or May AWOL)? She’s one of our favorite characters.
News Flash: having a bum knee doesn’t turn an agent into a scientist, even if it sidelines her. Since Gemma is “gone,” why not introduce a new character instead of not credibly repurposing Bobbi, since the show is a few short, now, anyway?
The whole “Fitz is trying to find/save Gemma” storyline is leading to…what, exactly?
Also not liking the new can’t-stop-it/him villain/monster.
The “spread” of powers is interesting, but these writers must be talking to Heroes, Reborn‘s writers, or be the same people, because now they have a similar storyline and why is that?
My mom and I both kind of like this show and Agent Carter, but the “inhuman” characters go beyond our interest scope (for us) when they don’t even look human.
Glad to see Rosalind Price in this show, and wondering where her character is going to take things. We really like Skye/Daisy’s character and glad that Lincoln and she may team up, again.
Not sure we’ll keep watching, but giving it another few episodes.
Bones
Season opener did a good job of catching us up on last year’s drop-off points, but we weren’t happy with the plot at all. Very gruesome (ALERT); even more than usual.
Note to TV writers: Why does almost every returning show believe it has to introduce a new boss or investigator as a horrible, somewhat stupid and irrationally mean-spirited person with some hidden agenda or ax to grind (Scorpion, Mysteries of Laura, Nashville, Scandal), particularly when they’re female? We are so tired of this trope.
Second note: Why do you writers think it’s “interesting” to have one of the main characters disappear or seem to be dead within minutes of the opening credits (Castle, Nashville, Heroes Reborn)? We don’t agree. That does not create “tension”; it generates frustration for your returning viewers. We come back to see these characters! Don’t remove one right off! STUPID MOVE.
Probably keep watching but not pleased, yet.
The Blacklist
Not sure where this show can go after the way it left off last season, and the opener seems to have painted it even more into the proverbial corner. How can there be a “Blacklist” story if Reddington doesn’t work with/for his FBI contact any longer because she’s been framed and they’re on the run together?
The whole “she is secretly a Russian spy because her mother was” is so dumb we barely gave it a glance last spring, but now the writers have put some of the loyal to Elizabeth into hysteria. Whatever could be the point of this?
Not liking it much, but probably keep watching if only to find out how they get out of the way they ended the episode: very weird choices.
Keeping, for now.
Madam Secretary
So far, this wins, hands DOWN, for the best returning show premier! Exciting, unexpected twists and turns and some of the best nonverbal but highly emotional scene and acting I’ve seen on TV in a long time. Kudos to Barbara Hall (writer/producer), to Morgan Freeman (who had a cameo role and directed!), and most especially to both Téa Leoni and Tim Daly. Amazing conveyances of mixed and intense emotions with body language, facial expressions and tightly coiled energies.
Liking the subplots, except for the President’s son-Secretary’s daughter’s romance and his being a junkie. Snooze.
Glad to see Jill Hennesey back on TV. Hope she keeps coming around.
Elizabeth’s interactions with her husbands, kids and colleagues, especially the President’s Chief of Staff, played villainously by Željko Ivanek, were on point every time.
LOVED the musical number at the end! Especially enjoyed Bebe Neuwirth‘s new tenor voice, backed up by Patina Miller and Erich Bergen, both excellent as well, with a more-than-passable demo by Geoffrey Arend.
Definite keeper.
**Hawaii 5-0
Mom is keeping this on her list for sure.
**Chicago P.D.
Mom is keeping this on her list for sure.
**NCIS Los Angeles
Mom is keeping this on her list for sure.
**Law and Order—SVU
Mom is keeping this on her list for sure.
**Criminal Minds
Mom is keeping this on her list for sure.
**Chicago Fire
Mom continues to love this. One of my CHANGES conversations between authors‘ guests, poet performer, James Gordon, has recurring minor roles on this and Chicago PD!)
Stays on Mom’s list
*Being Mary Jane
I almost stopped watching/recording this show because, toward the end of last year, it got very tedious (repetitive, boring) and the lead character was being written into corner after corner. But, I gave it a try for the return and I’m so glad I did.
Now? Excellent writing, sensitive topics [alcoholism, child abuse/molestation, suicide, disfigurement/physical “beauty”/ageism for women (particularly Black women), extortion, drug addiction, dysfunctional parenting, loyalty among friends (or not)], all very well-handled. Great music choices, also.
Mary Jane’s character (played even better, now, by Gabrielle Union) is getting some chutzpah (FINALLY) and growing up (ALSO OVERDUE). Supporting characters (Lisa Vidal, Margaret Avery, Stephen Bishop, Richard Roundtree, Raven Goodwin) are getting more to do, which is great.
Glad to see Loretta Devine on this show, even though her character is so delightfully SCUMMY.
Keeping this one.
Major Crimes
Excellent returning Episode. Glad to see all the main characters back and the writing and acting still strong.
What’s going on with Julio (Raymond Cruz)?
Still don’t believe the Captain Rader (Mary McDonnell) – Detective Andy (Anthony Denison) romance, but there they are.
Rusty (or rather, the actor playing him, Graham Patrick Martin) still looks about 15 but is getting some great scenes.
Keeping this one.
The Librarians
Fun and satisfying return to a new season with this quirky show that is one part Warehouse 13, one part Indiana Jones, one part National Treasure, one part the Da Vinci Code, and I don’t know what else, with some of Buffy‘s campness thrown in.
Excellent special effects and well-drawn characters, even the villains.
Don’t quite believe the romance between Noah Wylie‘s nerdy scholar and Elizabeth Romijin‘s former Secret Service ninja (Noah wishes…), but it’s all light and fun.
Miss Bob Newhart and Jane Curtain; John Larroquette just doesn’t have what they have.
John Harlan Kim, Lindy Booth, and Christian Kane round out the “regulars.”
image from http://www.tvline.com
Good show.
Keeping.
Elementary
We both like this show a lot even though it’s very difficult for us to understand some of the dialogue or to understand Sherlock because of the show’s poor audio quality and his rapid-fire speech in a British accent.
It was kind of a depressing return to TV, storyline-wise. But, great to see Lucy Liu, Johnny Lee Miller, John Michael Hill and Aidan Quinn back again. The opening Episode gave Aidan Quinn more to do than he’d been doing recently, only to indicate a change is in the wind. So, who knows, now?
The week’s case wasn’t so interesting, but the unfolding changes, especially between Sherlock and Watson, are intriguing.
Keeping
On Netflix, new seasons of Jessica Jones and Longmire are now promised for later in 2016, which we LOVE! And, Grace and Frankie returns on May 6! Yeah!
Sherlock (PBS special 1/1/16)
Yippee! Yahoo! Best BBC return-to-season EVER! Fabulous reunions and loved the “premise” (No spoilers, here). How great is Benedict Cumberbatch?
Also, great mystery to be solved.
Not liking the addiction story line in this or Elementary’s Sherlock (or any show, for that matter), but I guess it is part of the Sherlock character.
Keeping!
*Call the Midwife 4-3-16
Also had a great Holiday Special episode which I watched on New Year’s: catch that if you can! Then, get ready for the next season to start in April!
Suits 1-27-16
Strong return but disappointing plot/story elements. The whole “Michael (played well by Patrick J. Adams) is a fraud, what is going to happen and how bad is it going to get” can’t possibly sustain this season, which must be their last, then.
They’re made Rachel, played well by Meghan Markle (but still dressed inappropriately vampy), whiny, juvenile and ridiculous (and repetitive).
Sarah Rafferty as the impossibly perfect Donna and Gabriel Macht as the complicated Harvey still have the greatest tension (and are decades-long friends, which shows) and lines but not much to do.
Gina Torres as Jessica still wears too much white and is also too vampy in her costuming but is righteously angry and protective, both. Louis is still the most richly drawn and has the most fun stuff to do, and all done very well by Rick Hoffman.
Best unexpected gift acting as Donna’s alternate assistant to either Harvey or Louis is enlivened by Aloma Wright, who is funny, strong and interesting all the time. Also glad to see D.B. Woodside back as Jeff: he’s FIERCE! Appearances by other former characters give the season the feeling of “ending” as well, so we’re happy to enjoy Shelia Sazs, Stephen Macht (yes, Gabriel’s IRL father), Abigail Spencer and others’ returns, even if only for a few minutes.
But, my mom and I believe they have painted themselves into a tedious plot corner which is not enhanced by the one-note character given to the wonderful Leslie Hope as their attacker.
Keeping, but not happy about it.
Rizzoli & Isles February, 2016
Is this R & I‘s last season? So sad!
Very strong start to the returning Episodes. My mom and I both like this show a lot: Angie Harmon and Sasha Alexander (we loved her on NCIS as well) are great as a sister-like collegial team, and the supporting cast, while somewhat stock, are fun to see them engage with during each crime-solving journey. Jordan Bridges is a great also-Detective (now), younger brother, with Lorraine Braco as their caring, somewhat hovering and funny mom/surrogate mom.
Like seeing strong, intelligent, competent women working as a team instead of competitively. Thanks, TNT!
KEEPING, BUT, summer, 2016 = last season for this great show.
*When Calls the Heart
Had a great Holiday Special episode, which I watched on New Year’s: catch that if you can! Erin Krakow is great as the lead character, Elizabeth Thatcher, a rich young woman who leaves her safe, city family life to become a Canadian prairie teacher in a one-room school house, with an adorable Daniel Lessing as her Canadian Mountie/ love interest. Yes; hers is one of my alternate reality jobs.
Lori Loughlin is cast as her typically maternal and saccharine character but she does play the best friend/ cafe owner/ widow/ adoptive mother/ landlady well. Other characters are also “stock” and mostly two-dimensional, but I blame the Hallmark Channel’s writers (Janette Oke and Derek Thompson, most recently, but there are 18!) more than I fault the actors.
UPDATE: Saw February’s first Episode. Very fun and satisfying and a bit scary. Liked it, except for the annoying character of Cat Montgomery, played well by Chelah Horsdal.
KEEPING
*The Americans late March, 2016
I like this show, but the content is quite disturbing, for sure. The morality, ethics, honesty and deception issues are quite seriously depicted, there is a lot of violence (which I don’t like), and people are very screwed up, on all sides. Multiple complexities and grey areas are not shied away from, and they include many key events/issues from the USA’s 1980s: bravo to the writers, actors, director, fact-checkers/researchers!
I hate to read subtitles, but having the Russians speak Russian adds verisimilitude, for sure.
Both Matt Rhys (Phillip) and Keri Russell (Elizabeth) give nuanced, fascinating performances, especially when interacting with their now-“read-in” daughter, adolescent Paige (played admirably by Holly Taylor) and Alison Wright as Phillip’s “other” wife.
Remarkable performances also by the great Frank Langella, with key moments played by Callie Thorne, Noah Emmerich, Annet Mahendru, Lev Gorn and brief appearances by Dylan Baker (will he be back?) and Richard Thomas and Costa Ronin (who each did a lot last season) make this a show well-worth watching.
Cringing, but keeping
Filed under: TV and online Series Reviews Tagged: demographics, fall 2015, network TV, opinions, reviews, Television, Television shows
Art Exhibit, 6/3 – 7/31: “Hidden Messages: The Subtlety of Oppression,” St. Louis, MO USA
Art Exhibit, 6/3 – 7/31: “Hidden Messages: The Subtlety of Oppression,” St. Louis, MO USA
My most recent #author guest on CHANGES conversations between authors Darian Wigfall (Episode 49, 6/1/16, on Google+ https://goo.gl/OYRt1H or YouTube https://goo.gl/x5IxVZ), is also an artist, activist and community organizer in St. Louis County. His #art is part of the exhibit that opens TONIGHT, 6/3/16, and runs through July 31, 2016, in St. Louis, Missouri, USA (yes, where #FERGUSON is), with that of many other #artists whose work interacts with #oppression, #activism, #intersectionality and #hope.
GO! TELL OTHERS! Free & open to the public during gallery hours.
Grand Center Arts & Entertainment District
501 N. Grand Blvd. St. Louis, MO 63103
(Closed Mondays and Tuesdays)
Wednesdays 11 AM – 6 PM
Thursdays 11 AM – 6 PM
Fridays 11 AM – 9 PM
Saturdays 10 AM – 5 PM
Sundays 12 PM – 5 PM
June 3 EXHIBIT OPENING, 6 – 9 PM
Poetry and interpretive paintings by Emily Timmerman exploring oppression in the areas of race, class, and gender.
About:
Oppression is being exposed all over the world. From the Arab Spring to Black Lives Matter, people are waking up to the fact that we are being oppressed by those who have the money to control the narrative about people and how they are punished.
These paintings are interpretations of the messages that our oppressors have handed down to us to keep us under control. Over time we have adopted these messages for ourselves, reinforcing and perpetrating the oppression against ourselves. The last piece in the 4 stanza poem is a warning that our comfortable lives will be destroyed by the forces that create the artificial comfort we enjoy.
Darian Wigfall
image from gallery’s website
The Kranzberg Arts Center is a non-profit organization located in the heart of the Grand Center Arts and Entertainment District at 501 N. Grand Blvd. It houses three distinct, multi-use spaces: a gallery space dubbed the Kranzberg Arts Incubator, a flex-seat 100 capacity black box theater, and a 100 capacity cabaret/lounge performance space with pro audio & lights. The basement of the KAC is home to the Craft Alliance Center of Art + Design Education Center while the Black Box is the home of resident theater companies UMSL & Upstream.
Connect:
Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/kranzbergartscenter
Twitter/Instagram: @KranzbergArts
For Inquiries: chris@kranzbergartscenter.org
Filed under: Politics, Support for Good Causes Tagged: *CHANGES*, *CHANGES* conversations between authors, activism, activist, art, artists, Author, class, Darian Wigfall, Ferguson, gender, hope, intersectionality, oppression, St. Louis
May 31, 2016
#Buddhist #meditation Mini-#Retreat at Home: Report from the Homefront
#Buddhist #meditation Mini-#Retreat at Home: Report from the Homefront
May 27 – May 30, 2016, all-day, four-day mini-retreat at home: YIPPEE! Did it! First one since my TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury)/concussion/broken nose/hurt eyes in April, 2014; first one in St. Louis. [I called it a “mini” retreat because I usually did at least three weeks’ and up to 11 weeks’ retreat, prior to this.]
I offer this post as a description and explanation for newbies and the curious, but I do not discuss the details of my practice with anyone but my teacher and fellow practitioners.
SCHEDULE:
A typical meditation schedule consists of Tüns (meditation/practice sessions) segmented by meals, breaks, exercise, sleep and personal hygiene time. When we do individual retreats, often we set our own schedules. I modeled this summer’s mini-retreat schedule mostly on the same schedules I followed while on individual retreats at the main meditation center (Rigdzin Ling in northern California), and at my residences in Silver City, New Mexico, and Santa Rosa, Sebastopol and Hayward, California, 1999 – 2014.
Home Mini-Retreat Schedule 2016
3:30 – 4:15 AM— Wake up, ablutions, etc.
4:15 – 5:30 AM— First Tün (meditation/practice session)
5:30 – 6 AM— Breakfast
6 – 10:30 AM— Second Tün (with two ten-minute breaks)
10:30 – 11 AM— Lunch
11 AM – 12 PM— Third Tün
12 – 1 PM— Nap (during first third, usually; see below). Otherwise, Fourth Tün
1 – 3 PM— Exercise (swimming/driving to and from) with moving meditation for 35 minutes while swimming
3 – 5 PM— Fourth/Fifth Tün
5 – 5:30 PM— Dinner
5:30 – 8 PM– Fifth/Sixth Tün (with one ten-minute break)
Total meditation time: about 11-12 hours/day, so about 40 hours (I ended before dinner on May 30).
LOCATION:
When I was fortunate enough to be at RZL, I often sat on a cliff overlooking a pond, river and mountains in the distance, above the main buildings of the center. For other types of practices, meditators prefer or must be indoors or even in a cave or place of complete isolation and darkness for most of the time.
Many people doing the dzogchen Tibetan Vajrayana practice of awareness (rigpa) meditation, trek chöd, as I do, prefer to sit where we have an unbroken view of the sky.
NOT what my home retreat looked like at all, this year
There aren’t many cliffs and sky views near where I now live, in St. Louis, Missouri, USA, and I didn’t want to spend a lot of time driving to a spot at which there would be no food, no bathroom, no easy place for this mostly injured body to sit, and no place to swim. Hence, a home retreat. I could almost see the sky, sometimes. I could see trees, bushes, a street and parking lot. Didn’t matter at all. I wasn’t involved with any of it. We keep our eyes open for this type of meditation, but with a “soft focus,” not paying particular attention to anything while noticing everything.
Where I did most of my sitting practice: on the living room couch, learning against these cushions on the left, looking out the glass doors of the patio/deck to the right.
WHAT WE DO and DO NOT DO:
We also hear, smell, feel everything. We are not “checked out,” if we are practicing successfully. We are fully awake while doing our practice, sitting in oneness—in awareness (rigpa, Tibetan)—as often as we are able. We return to this awareness every time our attention wanders. That is the practice of trek chöd (Tibetan), in the simplest terms.
For this type of meditation practice, in retreat, practitioners usually don’t recite mantras, pray (except at the beginning and end of each retreat or even each Tün, if we want), use our malas (Tibetan prayer beads on a string, predecessor of the Catholic’s rosary), chant, visualize, play ritual instruments, enact stories, light incense, fill/offer water bowls, open our shrines or speak. Our practice is stripped-down to sitting and breathing.
The entire retreat is usually conducted in strict silence, which means that we make no eye contact when we do encounter people and we do no talking, writing, reading, or any other communicating (when necessary, we use “functional speech” only). We put away and turn off all cell phones, computers, communication or writing/reading/viewing devices of all kinds. We don’t write letters or answer the phone unless we are in a longer retreat during which we must communicate with family, friends, colleagues, neighbors occasionally to reassure them we are all right or respond to something urgent.
When we are fortunate (and/or wealthy), we have someone to “serve” our retreat: they shop for, prepare and serve our meals, sometimes even cleaning up for us, leaving us free to meditate for more time each day. That is part of the wonderful service that active meditation centers often provide retreatants. Sometimes, though, during non-busy times, when I was at the center, I still had to cook and clean up after my own meals, but I didn’t have to shop.
For home retreats, I have to do it all myself. I manage that by cooking a great big pot of soup and another big amount of something I can dole out each day for my two main meals and then have something small (a bowl of cereal, e.g.) for dinner.
Eating lightly at night is important for me, anyway. During a sitting and silent retreat like this, unlike the more active ones, our appetites get smaller and smaller as the retreat progresses, so we need less food.
THE RETREAT COMMITMENT:
It is important to make a firm commitment to one’s retreat by scheduling the entire period in advance and sticking to it. It is also important to make a daily schedule and adhere to it. Many also maintain/take a vow of celibacy to maintain during retreat (no sex or sex acts); some do not.
We all abstain from intoxicants (recreational drugs, alcohol) during retreat. If we have taken Layperson’s Buddhist Vows (or Five Main Precepts), as I have, we also never get intoxicated/inebriated. I don’t drink or use drugs, anyway, but for many meditators, retreat boundaries include that they refrain from engaging in the use of these substances during retreat.
Even if we get sick, someone dies, and/or there are other seemingly significant events that occur, we strive not to break our retreat commitments. Unless it is to save our own or someone else’s life or involves getting medical care to restore our health so that we can practice better afterwards.
It is important to let our friends, family and neighbors know, especially if we are doing a home retreat, that we won’t be answering phones or responding to texts or emails, for example, during these times/these days so they don’t worry. That way, we prevent someone from getting “wrong view” about meditation/meditators (e.g., not understanding our commitment, they think we are rude, unkind, insensitive, unless we communicate to explain).
We do not waver from this commitment or break our silence for any reason. These commitments and guidelines are called “retreat boundaries.” At the risk of generating “static” and negativity for our next potential retreat, we do not leave the grounds of a closed retreat (the “cloister”) or end our retreat prematurely. Some teachers give dire warnings about practitioners’ breaking boundaries that will result in creating negative future retreat karma, but I don’t like responding to threats. I maintain commitments because I want to do it.
Making and keeping these commitments strengthen the practitioner’s practice foundation and create/maintain a strong “container” for successful meditation practice. I feel good when I keep my chosen boundaries.
This time (or for any other home retreats), I did not have a completely strict, cloistered retreat: just isn’t possible. I drive to and from the pool, shop on the the first day for food and cook when necessary (more often on longer retreats). I also responded to a few communications from people who didn’t know I was in retreat and/or to reschedule things I had forgotten to reschedule. But, mostly, I did keep the strict retreat boundaries and commitments.
THE RETREAT EXPERIENCE:
Buddhist teachers talk about the entire retreat’s span of time as being divided roughly into three parts: “getting in,” “being in” and “rising out.”
“Getting in” is the first third. During this, we acclimate to being on retreat, letting go (sometimes slowly, sometimes more readily) of our daily concerns, activities, personae, thoughts, obligations and settling in to the schedule.
We always “open” our retreat with setting our intention and reaffirming our motivation and with gratitude, with prayers and thanks to our teachers. Usually, other directions are given to us in advance by our teachers.
Sometimes, we make offerings and/or have a ritual feast and prayers (tsog). Sometimes we continue our daily practices for the first day or so. Sometimes we do some preparatory readings (from teachings, notes, books) to remind us of the practice we are about to engage in and how to approach it.
Frequently, a lot of tiredness manifests early in this first third. If so, it is recommended that we nap a lot, recovering from the stress and strife of our usual lives’ demands. The peace, quiet and low-key nature of retreat bring us to a recognition of how exhausted and depleted we have gotten. Extra sleep is then necessary to restore ourselves and to be able to practice better for the rest of the retreat.
The middle third is “being in.” By then, accustomed to the schedule, needing fewer or no naps, we are ready and eager to practice for each Tün. We know what we are doing, we are glad to be doing it, it’s working as well as it will. Depending upon how long this period is and how quickly we are able to dive in, we can get very deeply immersed or only partially, but this is the main part of our retreat’s practice time. Whatever signs of accomplishment we may get usually begin to show up in this portion.
The last third is “rising out.” Sometimes gradually, sometimes more quickly, our minds and bodies begin to leave the depths and rise to the surface, preparing us for returning to our daily lives. For longer retreats, we spend part of this time still in retreat and the last part of it again in practices of formal gratitude. We “close” on the last day with offerings and/or a ritual feast and prayers (tsog), and dedicate the merit (the blessings and benefits of our practice) to all beings.
For the last day/hours or so, we are actually not still in retreat, exactly, but beginning to engage again in the more “ordinary living” aspects (whatever we haven’t been doing and must return to, such as driving, doing laundry, talking/communicating again).
We often don’t realize how deeply we are “in” until we begin to “rise out.” When we have been in a strict retreat for more than a few days, this gradual “return to duties” is very important for safety and acclimating to ordinary life. Otherwise, we can get into serious trouble or even accidents if we go back too suddenly to our busy, complicated home lives and schedules.
WHAT’S NEXT?
We usually meet with our teachers during or after our retreats (when we are so lucky as to be able to do that), to “offer our retreat experience” to the Lama by telling him/her about our experiences, insights, possible signs of accomplishment and/or knowledge acquired/applied successfully. We also bring questions, problems, concerns and “stuckness” that occurred during our retreat to this same meeting (or whenever we next meet) so that we may request guidance and answers from our teachers.
Usually during these meetings or subsequent ones, we get instructions, guidance for the next period of our practice, assignments/options for reading and/or attending live or video teachings. We might even schedule our next retreat(s).
I didn’t get to meet with my teacher at the end of this retreat, but I did see him for a private interview just last month, so I feel very blessed.
HAVING A MEDITATION TEACHER:
Tibetan Buddhists stress the importance of meditating under the guidance of and with instruction from a qualified meditation teacher. I completely agree with this. It is not sufficient to talk with other meditators, read books, listen to teachings on video or audiotapes or in person and then put ourselves into retreat and get ourselves out and go back to our lives.
Without a teacher who is more experienced and qualified to teach and guide us to listen to our experiences and direct our practice, we are certainly running the risk of there being a lot we will miss, misunderstand, misinterpret or just plain get wrong.
There are many qualified teachers in many parts of the world, now. I have put live links to some of them, above, when listing my teachers or main center. There are listings of some centers in Buddhist magazines, websites and other places online.
If you are not lucky enough to have found a teacher with whom you work well or you don’t live close enough to any teachers or centers who host visiting teachers, keep looking/trying. It is well worth the effort.
Where are the Buddhists Around Here?
There are several centers who host qualified teachers in the St. Louis area and throughout the Midwest, of all Buddhist traditions. Very close to where I now live is a Tibetan Buddhist practice group that includes some people who have met some of my own teachers and who use some of the same practice texts that I do. There are two others groups that are “cousins” to my lineages/practices and some of those people have also met some of my teachers and share some practices with mine. Khentrul Lodrö T’hayé Rinpoche‘s main center, Katag Chöling, is about a six-hour drive from here, in Arkansas. These are listed, below:
—Blue Lotus Dharma Center somewhat eclectic, mixed Tibetan Vajrayana and Chan (Chinese Zen) practices Blue Lotus Dharma Center
—Do Ngak Chöling Tibetan Nyingma Vajrayana Buddhism http://dongakcholing.org/
—Katag Chöling Khentrul Lodrö T’hayé Rinpoche‘s main center, https://katogcholing.com
—Kagyu Droden Kunchab—Saint Louis, Mahayana and Vajrayana Buddhism, http://www.kdkstl.org
MY TEACHERS:
I am beyond-words grateful to my teachers.
My beloved Buddhist teacher, Lama Padma Drimed Norbu (Lama Drimed), about 2012
Whatever I was able to accomplish from this mini-retreat or any other part of my practice was entirely due to the blessings, teachings, support and care from my dear teachers, particularly Lama Drimed and the late H.E. Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche (photos above and below), as well as my mom (in whose home I now live), other Lamas, especially Lama Shenphen Drolma and Khentrul Lodrö T’hayé Rinpoche, and sangha (spiritual community of fellow practitioners scattered now around the world) of meditating sisters and brothers: THANKS to you all!
the late His Eminence Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche, my first empowering lama and my teacher’s teacher, about 2001, and his Yangshi (designated and recognized reincarnation), about 2013
I dedicate the merit (benefits) of my retreat to all beings.
Filed under: Buddhism, Gratitude, Meditation, Mini retreat reports, Personal stories, Tibetan Vajrayana Nyingma Tagged: Buddhism, Buddhist, Chagdud Tulku Rinpoche, Lama Drimed, Lama Padma Drimed Norbu, meditation, practice, retreat, TBI, Tibetan Buddhism, Tibetan Vajrayana
May 30, 2016
Natacha Guyot’s Books Blog Tour – A Galaxy of Possibilities: Representation and Storytelling in Star Wars — Natacha Guyot
My Book Blog Tour is still ongoing. Yesterday, Write on Sisters published a guest post I wrote for them about Leia Organa’s portrayal in Star Wars: The Force Awakens and how her character has evolved over the years. You can read ‘General Leia: Aging on the Silver Screen’ here. This post ties to some of…
Filed under: Writing
When After — JacobEmet
When after words fail or hide themselves, When after emotion has taken its hue, When after streaks of splendor mingle in haze, This love I have still burns for you When after I’ve read and after I’ve written, When after my greens finally turn blue, When after I’ve enslaved myself to ambition, This love I […]
Filed under: Writing
Feminism-in-Schools Featured at First International Girls’ Studies Association Conference — Feminist Teacher
Leaders in the feminism-in-schools movement recently made history at the inaugural International Girls’ Studies Association (IGSA) conference when we were featured in the event’s opening plenary at the University of East Anglia in Norwich, UK from April 7-9. It was the first time that a global girls’ studies conference featured teachers and researchers sharing our […]
Filed under: Writing
May 19, 2016
Crush, Harassment, Unrequited Love and Stalking: Which do you know about?
Crush, Harassment, Unrequited Love and Stalking: Which do you know about?
Remember the expression: “mooning over someone?” (circa 1960s)> This described when we have a strong attraction for an oblivious person, one whom we might not even know well. We carry these feelings of yearning inside, in silence, but these feelings are not as invisible as we might believe (or wish), usually.
What about “having a crush”? Do people still “get crushed out” on another person? Usually pre-teens and teens do, but older ones can as well.
image from http://www.picturequotes.com
When does unrequited love and its concomitant circumstances, activities and feelings become a crime or a symptom of mental illness?
Can our inner world be measured on some continuum or scale? Is there a set description of behaviors or frequency of actions that forces us to admit we have a problem? When does desire become obsession? When does wishing to be noticed become compulsion?
How many of his/her interests do we take on as our own so that we can be where s/he is “for our own reasons” (sports event, concert, coffee shop, dog show, political rally, nature walk…whatever)? How many times can we “drop by,” drive by, “happen to be” where our love object is/lives and pretend (especially to ourselves) that it is “just a coincidence”?
We think: what if it only takes “one more” for his/her to “come around”? This happens in fiction; can’t it happen for us? How many “secret admirer”-type notes, flowers, emails, texts, other little gifts can we offer or send, leave on someone’s car or doorstep in inbox, before that person feels uncomfortable enough to call the police and get a restraining order?
And, what about the recipient? How many contacts, requests, invitations, gifts does the object of our affect have to endure before s/he can hold up a hand and demand that we petitioners cease and desist? Don’t we each have a right to privacy, inviolate boundaries, being left alone if we so choose?
Have you been on the receiving end of any of this unexpected attention? At what point does it become unwanted to the point of harassment or stalking?
Are signs of affection and sexual interest able to be labeled officially “unwanted” only after we realize (and then indicate overtly) that we do not reciprocate that person’s feelings and interest?
I ask because two of the main characters in my utopian/sci-fi/romance books in The Spanners Series, Clara Branon and Epifanio Dang, are embroiled in an on-again/off-again, does-he-or-doesn’t-he? (return her affections) multiverse/multiple timelines set of scenarios.
I wonder if I’m depicting Epifanio’s reactions and position accurately or fairly, or Clara’s persistence as if she’s mentally healthy when, perhaps, she is not. In some of them, Epifanio feels a bit stalked, we find out, but “comes around.” In others, his conversations and encounters with Clara prompt him to discover that he does return her affection (a bit belatedly or surprisingly… to him). In still others, he does not share her feelings.
If you are unlucky enough not to have read even Volume I of my series (This Changes Everything, free ebook on Smashwords, Kobo, iBooks, nook, Amazon; paperback $17.99 on CreateSpace and Amazon) what do you think of some of these real-life examples, below?
1) A well-educated, professional woman is in a high-powered, public position. Her male boss engaged in serial, non-stop harassment: he gave her horrifying, unwanted amounts of sexual interest and attention, and all the while he was married. She let him know right off not to touch her, to stop leaving notes, discontinue his arranging/ asking her to work late and be alone with him, etc., but he didn’t end any of it.
It seems pretty obvious that he violated every law and standard of human decency and scared the living SH*T out of her to boot. Plus, remember: he was already married. Plus, she TOLD HIM that she was completely not interested from the start. Plus, he was her boss. This went on for YEARS.
At one point, she asked for and got a transfer. But, a few months later, he re-arranged entire departments’ configurations to get back into her area and become her boss AGAIN!
She finally had to quit her job (on the advice of her medical provider because this guy and this situation were ruining her health). So, she’s suing for loss of income, mental anguish, being terrorized, etc., and because apparently she reported this to higher-ups and they DID NOTHING.
Clear harassment case, right?
image from http://www.xceliq.com
But, what if this had been the other way around?
2) What if the attention, gifts, contrivances to be alone and touch the person at work are mostly (but not exclusively) coming from an underling toward her boss? Rather than a male boss harassing a female employee, what if a female employee begs for attention from her boss? AND, they are both single.
Add these facts: the boss keeps inviting this employee to go to the movies, take walks, eat lunch out together, share many snacks and private conversations, for years. He chooses repeatedly to confide in this employee, but they offically do not “date” or even share a kiss or any sexual contact. However, this boss touches his employees (including this one) frequently (on the shoulder, on the hand, on the head, an arm around a waist or shoulders of both males and females).
Only after the employee makes her feelings known in a letter to her boss does he say “no.” She then stops asking or inviting him further and retreats to professional behavior, but he is clearly uncomfortable from that point on.
What options does that boss have when the employee is otherwise exemplary in her position and perhaps indispensable to a small company? How can that boss claim he was “harassed” when so much of their relationship was completely mutual?
Would not this be labeled a “mutual workplace romance,” just one without the overt sexual element, and one in which—unfortunately for them both—all the feelings were not mutual?
I think some cases are crystal clear, but others are more murky.
3) What do you think about relationships between consenting adult teachers and adult students, particularly when the student approaches the teacher and is the one asking for affection to be returned?
What if, when the student is checking if the feelings are mutual, s/he finds out they are not? Is the relationship able successfully going to be able to revert to more formal role relationships or is it ruined?
4) What about when peers have unequal feelings: neighbors, friends, colleagues, fellow members of whatever group? What if some or one of these pairs is already in a relationship?
Before we know for sure that our feelings of affection and perhaps love are going to be unrequited, it’s all fine, especially if we haven’t revealed anything and the other person can be ignorant or pretend not to know (yet). Or, is it?
Are other people actually that dense? Do they really “not know”?
To be sure, then, we have to ask. Right? How can we find out our status without asking? Aren’t there countless movies, TV shows, books and other examples from our lives in which the person who knows first about loving the other one “should have said something sooner” because the feelings really were mutual, but both were afraid to say so? A lot of time can be “wasted” by not declaring our feelings, true?
Here is my favorite movie scene (with a song, of course) in which the love revelation is welcomed and the feelings ARE mutual:
or https://youtu.be/rm5MDenG5QY
Russell Brand and Alec Baldwin, “I Can’t Fight This Feeling Anymore,” from Rock of Ages.
Consider, though, when the feelings are not mutual: once we ask about theirs and reveal our own feelings, but we are not “on the same page,” is everything doomed between us? Do things between us become awkward to the point of having a relationships that is impossible to salvage?
Your stories and comments are welcomed here. I’m curious.
Filed under: Life lessons, Opinions, Personal stories, Themes from The Spanners Tagged: Alec Baldwin, crush, harassment, Rock of Ages, Russell Brand, stalking, The Spanners Series, unrequited, Unrequited love, workplace romance
May 12, 2016
17 Ways You Can Literally Create Amazing Content Without Actually Writing Any Words (For Beauty, Book, Writing Bloggers & More!) —
Originally posted on The Millionaire’s Digest: 1. Quote collection: No matter what subject your website covers, there’s a quote (or, better yet, a collection of quotes) out there that will inspire your readers. Search for “[your industry/topic] quotes” and be sure to provide proper attribution to any you wind up using on your site. 2.…
Filed under: Writing
