Janet Gogerty's Blog: Sandscript - Posts Tagged "facebook"

'Are you on Facebook?' A common question; in days gone by people would have asked 'Are you on the telephone?' More recently the question in social and business contexts will have been 'Are you on the Internet?' Now it is usually assumed you are and the query will be 'What's your e-mail address?' If addressing the elderly, tact is required, some would be insulted at the suggestion that they may not be keeping up with the times, whilst others will retort angrily that they have no intention of getting a computer.
When I was in the Brownies I had to resit my Golden Hand badge - I had failed the telephone test. All that was required was to make a phone call, in my case at the home of a stranger ( a respectable middle aged woman I hasten to add; now days she would have had to go through numerous checks first ) as my parents did not possess a telephone, which was the reason why I was nervous.
My mother, tied up with two younger children, once sent me and my sensible older friend to a phone box with a message for my father at the office and detailed instructions for the telephone box. We failed to master buttons A and B and the message was never sent. You will gather that our friends and neighbours did not possess a phone either, perhaps it was considered too expensive or unnecessary.
Now we can skype across the world with several people and several generations squeezing onto the screen.
But Facebook is different from e-mailing and skyping, it is not personal and most of us have a love hate relationship. Are we there to see people's holiday pix, show off how many friends we have, to have a laugh or check if family members are still alive? I logged in recently to be confronted with a large, square, brown fury creature with a large shark mouth. In various shots he was depicted with a cigarette in his mouth, a can of beer in his fury mitt and a piza on his plate. This was my introduction to a new family member from Japan, Domo Kun Plush, who now shares a rented room with a human family member. You never know who you are going to meet on Facebook.

It is late, time for lights out, time to turn the computer off… just time to check my e-mails.
None, only two Facebook comments, just time for a quick look at Facebook...
'LIKE' the comments...
Didn’t even know they were expecting a baby and here’s a picture of Ultrasound Embryo.
Lilly has posted 24 new pictures to the album ‘Weekend away with my lovely new man’ hmmm, looks a bit of a wimp, who on earth’s interested anyway? Why AM I looking at photographs of people I don’t even know, at midnight?
Sign the petition to save the World, better do that.
Dave got ten out of ten for spelling quiz, did that one last night, nine out of ten.
Do you know all the words to Bohemian Rhapsody? Zoe does apparently. Well I’m not going to start doing a quiz at 12.04 am, but I’ll just have a look... multiple choice, fill in the missing words, that can’t be too difficult and won’t take long.
‘Is this the real life? Is this just - blank - that’s easy ‘fantasy’, green box hurrah, press NEXT ‘I’m just a poor boy, I need no – blank – ‘sympathy’ green box, yeah, might as well go the the end – only 26 to answer.
‘Scaramouch’ correct, what DOES scaramouch mean?
‘Gallileo, Gallileo Figaro - blank’ oh what is it, bother, red box.
‘Just gotta get out – just gotta get right outta here’ That’s true, quarter past midnight, I must log out of Facebook now, but perhaps I’ll just finish the quiz.
‘Nothing really matters – nothing really matters to me’ ...22 out of 26, does it really matter, who is interested in my score, who does these Facebook quizzes?
Jenny has been tagged in Paul’s photo, 'LIKE', who on earth is Paul? Must e-mail Jenny and ask her...

Everyone on Facebook has a ‘good reason’ why they are on it. When friends say with disdain ‘I’m not on Facebook’ we reply defensively... ‘My daughter/nephew/neighbour put me on it. I just use it to look at pictures of relatives the other side of the World. I can see pictures of friends on holiday. It's important to keep in touch with World issues...
Business people, artists, writers etc. are urged to have their own Facebook Page to help maintain their on-line presence. Well at least on one's official page nobody else's pictures or news turns up...
If you want to visit my author page, follow the link.


https://www.facebook.com/Beachwriter

Do you keep a diary or resolve to keep one every New Year? Many years ago I was given a five year diary which lasted at least a decade of good intentions and still has many blank pages, but it does record some major life events; if anyone can ever decipher the tiny writing crammed into the allotted space per day and year.
In more recent years I received a handsome note book blissfully free of dates. I vowed to keep a journal for the purpose of preserving the art of handwriting and recording family history. Released from the obligation of daily jotting I would devote several pages to important events and places and people visited. I haven’t yet recorded Christmas.
But I am onto the third gift journal. Each entry begins with a few neat sentences, but quickly deteriorates into a cramped scrawl, especially if I am lounging with my feet up on the sofa. I imagine the diarists of old would need to sit upright at their bureaus to be able to handle their quill and ink.
In the unlikely event of me becoming a famous author posthumously, will my family be tempted to burn these diaries and journals to protect my reputation? If they bother to look at them they will find no scandal (there is none to help in the fame stakes ), nor salacious details of non writing activities at home. But hopefully my jottings will be a unique personal account of everyday life in the early years of the Twenty First Century.
And which will last longer, the paper books or this Blog? When I needed to look up a previous blog about the River Thames I typed in ‘Janet Gogerty Sandscript River Thames’ and up it came, from over two years ago; will it be there forever? Will our Goodreads Blogs and book reviews float through the ether into eternity, or only until the internet is switched off?
Like radio waves beaming out into space will the billions of words on the internet still be out there somewhere when the electricity is switched off for good? Will our Facebook posts and e-mails be accessible to clever Alien archaeologists or future Earth scientists? If so then, Greetings from 2016 A.D.

When things go wrong....
Things didn’t work long before I came into contact with computers. The stapler runs out of staples with only one more bundle of papers to go. Even if I manage to open it up and put the new strip of staples in something will jam as soon as I press the heel of my hand down.
We had a family heirloom hand sewing machine 'Jones, as supplied to Her Majesty Queen Alexandra'. Whether the wife of Edward VII used her sewing machine I have no idea; but ours was old and loyal, blessed with a few simple operations. I turned the handle and the needle sped up and down stitching clothes for my doll; but if the spool ran out or the threads jammed I was instantly infuriated with the machine and my father was the only one who could sort it. When we started sewing lessons at senior school we were confronted with treadles and electric machines. I never mastered the treadle action, let alone the sewing part of the procedure. I would pretend to be busy until an electric machine was available. I have sewn many things since; if my electric machine is running smoothly I can make anything (as long as it doesn’t involve button holes or fancy stitches), but if the fabric puckers or binds itself to the machine I am completely stumped.
If asked to be the first to arrive and open up a meeting place I know for sure the key will not fit, or the door will remain shut tight. Sometimes I conquer the lock, pull, push, jiggle a half turn, but more likely entry will only be gained when other people start to turn up and try for themselves, the door swinging open readily.
Perhaps I am not the only one for whom thing go wrong. A long queue at the one open till in WH Smith; the other assistants are busy trying to direct reluctant shoppers to the scan your own machines or helping them when that robotic woman says 'Item not recognised, unbagged item…. ' Computers in various forms are unavoidable.
For a long time I had no reason to be involved with computers, but writing and social media sucked me in to this love hate relationship. Unlike staplers and sewing machines computers are sentient beings; they know when you need to send an urgent e-mail or print an important document.
The digital world of scanners and printers was preceded in the work place by photocopiers and before that machines such as The Gestetner. I dreaded being left alone with this mystery of rolling drums, scent of chemicals and ink which printed too faintly or leaked in the wrong places. But it was still mechanical and not totally beyond comprehension.
Computers purposely lull you into a false sense of security, the World at your finger tips, documents easily altered, unlike the bad old days of typewriters. Then things start to go wrong. You log into Facebook, but instead of pictures of your friends and cute kittens there are only blank squares waiting to be filled in while the tiny blue circle goes round and round…. You sign into your e-mail account and see you have six messages, but it won’t let you into your In Box. The lay person has no idea if the problem lies with their mouse, their computer, a real rodent gnawing at the Virgin cable, or if the World Wide Web has been switched off by North Korea. It’s all magic to us. My usual answer is irrational rage if I’m on my own or to yell for Cyberspouse. He does not believe that the computer bears personal malevolence towards me or anyone else and remains calm in a crisis, sorts the problem, only to be recalled minutes later when the paper jams in the printer…

SERVER NOT FOUND, words guaranteed to strike dread in the hearts of anyone expecting to go on line in the next few seconds. When I saw those words I tried every device in the house, only to get the same answer. I did not need to go on the internet, it was a catching up with housework day. At least we hadn’t had a power cut; electricity not WiFi was all that was needed to work the washing machine, vacuum cleaner and most importantly the radio, the only companion that makes chores bearable.
So why was I experiencing medium levels of stress, anxiety and restlessness? First cause was the question Why? Obviously the Internet works by magic, but what had broken the spell and would the magic ever return?
Second worry; I was due to Skype family in Australia early the next morning.
Third problem; I needed to update my website with the next episode of the serial.
Finally came the hollow panic: what was I missing while off line? Would I be the last relative to put a sad emoticon on Facebook if a baby wasn’t well or if someone was in casualty? Were there any important e-mails?

There was a time when I wasn’t on Facebook or Skype, further back I didn’t have an e-mail address. There is a telephone in the house attached to a land line, which at some stage beams up to a satellite. I could just phone Australia. Anybody could phone me if there was an emergency. I could get on with writing my novel on Microsoft Word, if I ever finished the housework. So why was I still anxious?

When the long suffering Cyberspouse came home from work he did not realise the gravity of the situation, commenting calmly that Virgin was probably ‘down’. However, he decided he would unplug the router and plug it in again. Instantly, messages and Whatsapps pinged into our mobile phones. Facebook lit up the large screen of my desk top computer. I was delighted, proof indeed that the internet works by magic. The way to restore it is by a magic spell that I cannot perform; the internet has to be switched off and on by someone who is not a technophobe and who is totally uninterested in social media.

I was late cooking dinner that evening because I had to check all my multi media connections. And what had I missed? I was in time to see sunset pictures from Facebook photographer friends and to sign a petition to save a cow swimming in the harbour after escaping from a live export ship in Fremantle Port, Western Australia.

Of course I am not a Facebook Fanatic. After several years of being blissfully without a mobile phone I now have my first (third hand ) Smart phone and with it comes the security of knowing I can check Facebook while I am out to make sure I’m not missing anything. Also I can take photographs with my phone and post them, so that Facebook friends do not miss anything I’m doing out in real life.

Read about what can go wrong on Facebook in two stories in my anthology Dark and Milk ‘You Have One Friend’ and ‘Friend Request’
https://www.amazon.com/Dark-Milk-Jane...

Catch up with the Friday Serial at my website
http://www.ccsidewriter.co.uk/chapter...

2018 looks set to be as doom filled and gloom laden as 2017 and the actions of our leaders as silly and unbelievable as ever. Individuals feel powerless, but the beginning of a new year is the time for individuals to get their own lives in order, a more achievable goal perhaps. But what is taken seriously by one person might seem plain silly to their family or Facebook friends, the latter being the ones who will have to read ad nauseam about their lofty aims. If you became healthier and wealthier after Sober October, perhaps you will be inspired by Veganuary. While millions waste money on annual gym membership for one assessment, a few laps of the pool, a sit in the sauna and a go on the cross trainer that resulted in a pulled muscle, others might decide this is the year they train for a marathon, or seven marathons in one week across Africa...
Why don’t we just have a silly season instead, to brighten up northern winters or celebrate southern summers. What would your sillutions be? To acquire more Facebook friends in North Korea or Antarctica, to take up guerrilla knitting and dress all the lampposts in your street or why not turn your house inside out; bring the garden indoors with artificial lawn, trees in pots, house rabbits and free range parakeets.
Or you could spend January in the world of fiction and enjoy strange surroundings and events without annoying those you live with. I hope to be busy writing, finishing my latest novel, which has some very strange events and penning a few short stories. In the meantime ‘Someone Somewhere’ will take you into spring and summer with two strange novellas and other tales.

https://www.amazon.com/Someone-Somewh...