Janet Gogerty's Blog: Sandscript - Posts Tagged "equality"

When I was a child my mother used to say 'I'm coming back as a man next time', but this was more a reaction to housework and the onerous task of bringing us up, than a belief in re-incarnation or the innate benefits of being a man. As a tomboy my only objection to being a girl was having to wear a dress on Sundays if we had visitors. Our parents treated us equally and in those innocent days before BBC's 'Woman's Hour' started talking about FGM many of us were unaware of the global range of inequalities for women. As an adult I have not regretted being a woman, except for envying men the convenience of their upright external plumbing.
But now in a more informed society we know there are people who are desperate to be the other sex and people who are actually born intersex.
A person in the public eye recently admitted rumours were true that they had changed sex - still a cause for shame? But does it matter what sex a person is? 99 per cent of what we have in common as humans has nothing to do with gender; the need for food and shelter, the desire to socialise, love of music etc. Even the differences are important for only short periods of our lives, the young macho sportsman or a woman having a baby and breastfeeding.
As any writer knows, it would be dull if we were all the same, but perhaps we are more the same than we think.

Today is International Women's Day and across the World the idea is to celebrate achievements, inspire other women, all very laudable. The day had its origin in New York 106 years ago and in 1913 the date 8th March was set. Ironically the day is an official holiday in Afghanistan. In China the day is a holiday for women only and better than Mother's Day, flowers and appreciation are the order of the day for all women.
But we are not a minority group, in the Twenty First Century why do we need a day? Nor are we an homogeneous group; just listen to BBC Radio Four's Woman's Hour or even to your own group of friends and you will find diametrically opposed opinions on everything from abortion and breastfeeding to hair weaving. Equality? Dad's push prams, who does what percentage of the housework? The daily domestic lives of people who actually have somewhere to live pale into insignificance compared with lives of crushing poverty for both sexes.
Worse, are two terrible crimes, one of which has only come to light for most of us this century and the other enabled by modern science. Female genital mutilation destroys the personal life and health of women and selective abortion prevents many girls even being born. This is no simple battle of women versus men; FMG is perpetrated by women and how long will the world continue to allow ignorance as an excuse? The uneven populations already seen in some societies result in many men, especially those who are poor, having no chance of a normal family life, no equality for them.
Like a happy marriage, civilisation requires cooperation between people, between men and women and cherishing of all children. Perhaps an International Human Being Day would be more appropriate.

International Women’s Day has come round again and I wonder are we celebrating or commiserating with over half of the world’s population? We are not one homogeneous group of virtuous creatures united in a lifelong battle against beastly men, we are as different from each other as we are from men; pampered or poor, straight or gay, living in domestic chaos or alone. There is no set women’s opinion on important issues such as abortion or prostitution. Some women use men while others are abused by them. We are not one big sisterhood, though there are many wonderful sisterhoods throughout the world.
Women are perceived to be good at friendship and on an average day will probably have had more rewarding conversation with the girls at work or the ladies at their club than with their husbands. But women are also capable of spiteful animosity towards each other, whether it’s bullying at school, bitchiness at work or Yummy Mummies competing ruthlessly to have the most natural child birth or be best at breastfeeding. If you are following BBC One’s psychological thriller ‘The Replacement’, set in a high powered working environment, you will have an insight into the chilling atmosphere and mind games that women can create and men do not even perceive.
Of course it is not just other women who are despised; it is often the nicest men, the good ones who are doing everything by the feminist book, who are treated abominably, ousted from their homes and have their children taken. While women’s lives can be destroyed or even taken by domestic violence, it is ironic that some women chuck their husbands because they are too nice and they got bored.
And on International Women’s Day what about men? Modern man is perceived to be confused as to his role; being the sole breadwinner or the provider of the home is often not feasible and when things go wrong, relationships break down, homelessness and even suicide can follow.
On the positive side modern young men have proved they are just as capable as their wives and girlfriends at looking after babies and running a home. You don’t need to be a psychologist to work out that the key to human happiness could be cooperation.
Rainbow flags flutter in liberal countries to celebrate diversity; gay people comfortable in their own bodies may appear to have little in common with transgender folk, but they all want to be accepted for themselves. It makes no difference to Planet Earth or World Peace how people want to dress or who they want to share their lives with. We’re all human beings who need food, shelter and safety and as a bonus, happiness.
People in good relationships of all sorts can face the world better and human beings do not need to be divided men against women; heterosexuals against others; we have enough to do saving the planet and stopping wars, so perhaps we should have International Individuals Together Day.