J.R. James's Blog, page 4
December 30, 2014
New book chapter
Hi all, I hope that you are all looking forward to the New Year.
I am busy writing again, now that Christmas is out of the way and the house has returned to relative nomality.
Kit and Callie have been nagging at me to tell the rest of their story, and I thought that you might like a little preview, as 'Champagne Promises and Christmas Lies' ended on a cliffhanger... so... the first chapter of 'A New Year Tryst' can be found below. This is in draft form... there may be changes! All I know at the moment is that Max - Callie's ex - is back on the scene, and Kit is implicated in the disappearance of his wife, Stephanie - so it won't all be plain sailing for either of them. I hope that you like the first chapter. I would love your comments, and if enough people read it and want more, I'll give you another chapter or two before publication... which I hope will be before the end of January.
'A New Year Tryst'
Chapter 1
I can't say for sure what time it was when the hammering on the door woke me up.
All I know is that I thought the world must be coming to an end, something that I was actually not too bothered about personally, at that particular moment in time, with the deep and abiding feeling of worthlessness that had seized me afresh with Kit's betrayal. He'd told me that he didn't want to take advantage of me while I was in a fragile state and then had proceeded to do just that… lied to me, cheated on his wife… and used me in some sort of sick game of his own to make her jealous.
Sleep hadn't come immediately. I'd lain in a curled up ball for what seemed like hours, contemplating how completely stupid and naïve I'd been, going over all the whys and wherefores in my aching head, thinking back over everything that had happened, everything that he'd said to me in the last few days, and trying to understand why I'd ever believed him, and how he'd managed to fool me so completely. I'd come to the conclusion, just before sweet oblivion claimed me, that I'd wanted to believe him, because I was that desperate to forget Max, to feel good about myself again, that I hadn't looked too far beyond the gorgeous sexy exterior. And he had made me feel good about myself. He'd said all the right things to allay any doubts I'd had. He'd played my emotions and my body expertly. I had never in my life felt so good. He unlocked my libido and turned me into a sex siren. That's how good he'd made me feel.
Yes, he'd given me pleasure, amazing mind-blowing pleasure. I'm not denying that, and he would probably argue that it's simply quid pro quo. I'd got as much from him as he had from me. I was a consenting adult. He hadn't done anything that I hadn't wanted… in fact begged him for. Where's the harm?
If I was honest with myself I'd known all along that he was out of my league, but then he'd given me the impression that he genuinely liked me and thought we may have a future together. He'd taken my ridiculously infatuated state and used it against me – for his amusement.
The banging was unceasing, and as I came to my head seemed to be thumping with equal ferocity, my tired brain struggling with memories of fleeing from an exotic Surrey mansion, to escape the clutches of the dark mysterious owner before he could lock me in the cellar, being chased from the grounds by a glamorous blonde vampire who was after my blood, while I sped away, in a taxi - a yellow cab for some unfathomable reason - reality interwoven with nightmare. I scrambled, half falling out of bed, and stumbled bleary-eyed in the dark towards the source of the disturbance, thinking that the door would surely cave in under the continuing onslaught. Whatever was happening it must be of cataclysmic proportions to warrant such an urgent summons.
"What? What is it?" I called hoarsely, panicking slightly now.
"Open the fucking door."
What? Kit? Angry? What the hell was he doing here in the middle of the night?
He was going to get me evicted even before I had a chance to tell them that I was quitting if he continued with the racket he was making.
"Callie. Open the door," he yelled at the top of his voice, making the door rattle as he hammered on it again and making me very reluctant to comply.
"Why?" My voice was barely a croak.
"I need to talk to you." I don't know if he was answering my question, or giving me his reason anyway.
"I don't want to see you." Why was he even here? So, his plan to get me into a threesome with his wife hadn't worked out – banging on my door wasn't going to achieve anything. I'd decided that must have been his intention, by the way, during my earlier hours of endless soul-searching, when I'd been trying to make sense of his behaviour. It's all I could think of, given what she, Stephanie, had said about him parading his conquests under her nose… but she'd pretty much sent me packing – obviously not her thing either.
"Just forget it Kit. I'm not into threesomes." I yelled through the door, hoping the neighbours wouldn't hear. "Find someone else for your sick games."
It went very quiet. I began to think that he'd gone.
"I know you met Stephanie. I've no fucking idea why she was there or what she said to you to scare you off, but that's not my thing either – if that's what she told you."
At least he wasn't shouting anymore.
What she said to scare me off? Oh, only that she's his wife, standing in their home, where he'd fucked me all the previous night.
Then the banging started again, making me jump.
"Go away Kit."
"I'm not going anywhere, so you may as well let me in."
"Why?"
"So that I can explain."
"What? That you lied to me? That you used me? Why would I want to hear it?"
"Please Callie. It's not like that."
"What is it like then? Because from where I'm standing it seems very much like that."
"We can't talk though the door Callie. Let me in. I promise that if you want me to leave after I've said what I have to say, I'll go the minute you ask me to. Okay?"
"Is that another of your champagne promises that will fizzle to nothing."
"I have not broken any promise I made to you."
"You promised that you would cherish what I shared with you. You've broken that promise."
"No I haven't Callie. I do cherish what we shared and I cherish you."
"You said that you insist on honesty, but you haven't been honest with me."
"I have in every detail but one. Let me explain."
"It's a pretty big fucking detail Kit – that you are actually not divorced."
"Callie. Let me in and I promise I will explain."
Well, this I have to hear, I thought with bitter irony, as I slowly took the chain off and turned the latch.
The second the door was unlocked, he rushed in like a tornado, sweeping me off my feet, and backing me up against the wall, his mouth on mine, hot and hungry, his tongue pressing against my closed lips, forcing entry, and despite myself I allowed him access, my own lips responding to his heat and his passion, eagerly taking what he gave, my tongue twisting with his, my lips yielding against the firmness of his kiss, wanting him, all of him. I was gasping when he broke away.
"Now tell me that you don't feel what I feel?" He still had me pinned to the wall, his blue eyes blazing, searing into my thoughts, exposing me.
Yes, I felt that. My whole body was quivering with want for him. It's just physical. It's just some weird chemistry that we have. It doesn't get us past the fact that he's married… and that if he wants me at all… it's as his mistress.
"Get off me Kit. NOW. Just let me go." I don't know where I found the strength and resolve that made my voice so firm, but he backed away, leaving me leaning against the wall, trembling.
"I'm never letting you go Callie. You're mine." He said evenly, as if stating a matter of fact. He'd thrown himself down onto the one large overstuffed armchair that took up a good part of the corner of my lounge, and was looking at me, watching me like a hawk watches its prey, as I slowly lowered myself onto the sofa, tucking my legs up under me and wrapping my arms protectively across my chest, worrying that the thin pink cotton jersey of my pyjamas would do nothing to hide my suddenly erect nipples.
"You said you had something to say… so… say it… and then leave, and leave me the fuck alone."
"Is there any point in me saying anything if you've already made up your mind?" His look was piercing.
"Well you seemed to think there was a point when you were trying to break my door down in the middle of the night." I tried to ignore what his presence and that intense look were doing to me.
"It's eight-thirty Callie, hardly the middle of the night. I came straight here when I finally realised what had happened… after running round the house yelling for you… going to the pool…" He paused, his brow furrowing, and his face seeming to crumple for a second, "… half expecting to see you floating face down in the water. I thought something had happened to you. I searched everywhere before I realised that your things had gone."
"Did you really expect me to be there, waiting for you… with your wife? Didn't she tell you about the lovely chat we had? When she told me that I was just part of some sort of game that you like to play… to make her jealous. I have to tell you that it didn't work. She was actually amazingly forgiving, and she seemed more sad and resigned, than jealous, but I've never felt more humiliated… so well done… you scored again." My voice sounded as loaded with contempt for him, as Stephanie's had been towards me, and my pitiful stupidity in having been taken in by him, and to his credit he did at least look abashed.
"Stephanie wasn't there… and there was no sign that she'd been there either. I only realised when I started reviewing the CCTV footage, to find out when you'd left, and saw her arrival. I didn't see you leave because the cameras had been turned off by then… but I put two and two together."
"So she's left you too. Probably about time after what she said… so you came knocking on my door again."
He sighed heavily.
"Callie. Please understand. Stephanie and I have not been together for almost two years. As far as I knew she was still in the States, where she's been since I threw her out. I didn't know she was back… or that she could get into the house. I don't know why she was there… probably just to make trouble. If she was trying to see me… to try to get me to take her back… she'd have got nowhere with that… not after what she did, and everything since. I can't wait to be rid of her once and for all… but she's been refusing to accept the settlement… against the advice of her own lawyers…" He trailed off with another heavy sigh, and a distracted combing of his hand through his mane of near black hair.
"So she was telling the truth – you're not divorced."
"Technically no… but it's just a matter of time."
"So why tell everyone that you're divorced when you're not?"
"I am, in all but the legal sense, and I didn't actually tell you that I was divorced. I said that you would have heard that I was divorced."
"Way to spilt hairs… basically you lied. You told your aunt that you were divorced."
"Yes, to spare her the upset of worrying about me. It was easier for her to think that it was all settled."
"You should have told me the truth."
"Maybe I should have… but it will be the truth soon enough. I didn't see the need to complicate matters. I don't even know why I married her. My life was manic back then, and my personal life was a mess. I'd been fucking around, and fucking up with women for what seemed like forever, so when Stephanie stuck, I thought it was the closest I'd ever get to love. She's incredibly beautiful. We looked good together."
Yes, I had to agree that she was beautiful, certainly more like the sort of woman that I'd expect him to be with.
"And I thought we were good together," he was continuing, "… until after the wedding. She changed almost immediately. When I looked back, after I found out about the way she'd cheated on me - repeatedly - I realised that she'd done all the running, suggested marriage, made all the arrangements… and taken me along for the ride." He paused, looking reflective. "I'd been propelled into a marriage that was cold and empty from the outset, by my own vanity, conceit, and self-absorbed obsession with building up my business."
He shook his head as if he was struggling to believe his own stupidity.
"I think I just wanted security at that time… and the love that I thought she was offering… and I thought marriage was the answer. Once she'd got the ring on her finger she gave up any pretence of loving me, and then I found out that she'd been sleeping around the whole time. After we were married she didn't even try to hide it. She'd only ever been interested in my money and the connections that got her modelling career off the ground. She never really cared about me, but now she's holding me to ransom, and the only way I'm getting this divorce is through the courts, which takes time."
"Wouldn't it be easier just to give her what she wants?"
"I'm confident that any ruling will be in my favour. I have no concerns about that. I have good lawyers. The marriage lasted barely a year… and there's a pretty watertight pre-nuptial agreement, which they'll make stick. She'll regret not settling when she had the chance." There was a resigned note to his voice.
"Yes, but it means that you have to go through all that, when you could probably afford to pay her off and put it all behind you."
"She wants a share of the business… my business. I'd never be free of her. And besides, it's a matter of principle Callie. I've been pushed aside my whole life, and she betrayed me in the worst way."
Yeah… I know a bit about how that feels, but then he's pretty much said that he didn't love her, so he was using her as much as she was using him. It sounds more like hurt pride than a broken heart.
"But, you didn't love her?"
"No… but I thought she loved me. I thought that was enough, and she turned out to be like all the others in my life who should have loved me. I'm not letting her get away with that."
"She'll only get away with it if you keep holding on to the feelings of bitterness that she's left you with. You have to let it go."
"I have let it go. I'm not going to let her continue to fuck my life up. I won't give her that satisfaction. I promise you that. It's finished with."
He's saying the words, and I'm sure he's made himself believe them, but it's clearly still twisting him up inside.
I was about to say as much, when he seemed to pull himself out of the almost dejected pose that he'd held for the last fifteen minutes, and banished the frown from his face, and the bitterness from his voice.
"So what happened today Callie?" he asked almost conversationally.
I told him everything. How I'd been out for a walk and come back to find Stephanie in the kitchen as if she had every right to be there. How she'd made it clear that I was the intruder and should leave, and also everything she'd said about him having plans to build some sort of development on the countryside that I loved.
"That's not true Callie. I love that area too. I virtually grew up there. If anything I'll be making sure that Vera's land remains for agricultural use by re-establishing the farm. I want to protect it from development. I was talking to your dad about it – you can ask him. So why didn't you phone me instead of just running away?"
What? Does he really not recognise how awful it was?
"Because I had no reason not to believe her. I felt stupid… and used… and like a home-wrecking slut." My earlier feelings of absolute mortification washed over me and fresh tears welled in my eyes.
"So you came back here, and you've been crying ever since. I'm so sorry Callie. Come here." He opened his arms, and all I wanted to do was go to him and curl up on his lap, and comfort him, and have him comfort me.
"No… Kit… I can't. I… I… it's all too much. It's all too weird for me."
"So you had no problem believing Stephanie, but you don't believe me?" His eyes narrowed as he looked at me.
"No… it's not that… I do… I… I don't know… I want to believe you… but…"
"But you don't. How can you have any doubts after what we shared, after the conversations we've had, after all that I've told you? Do you really think that I could say all of those things if they weren't true and if I didn't mean them?"
"I don't know what to think… this… us… everything in your life… it's all too much… too fast… you… you… are so different from me… the way you live… I can't live up to that…"
He let me stutter and stumble through my disjointed thoughts, my doubts and my fears.
"Do you need me to remind you how good we are together?" His eyes flashed and I felt the response in my sex, which pulsed to life and definitely reminded me of his earlier presence there.
"I haven't forgotten. I can still feel you all over my body. I want… I just can't..." I was shaking my head, feeling the despair rising in my chest as I refused him, as I fought against what I really wanted.
I need to stay strong.
"Callie… please don't give up on us." His tone had turned plaintive.
"I'm not ready for a relationship… I thought I was… I'm sorry."
If it hurt that much after a few days, how much will it hurt in a few weeks, or months, when he gets tired of me and dumps me like he inevitably will?
"So you're saying that you won't even try. None of us can see into the future Callie. All I know is that I have never felt the connection that I feel with you… and I can't just let that go."
"I need time. I need to think. Please go… please Kit…"
I can't risk it. Maybe I'm a coward… or maybe I'm a realist.
"I'll go… for now… because I promised you that I would." He rose to his feet. "I'll let you think if that's what you need… but just think about this…"
He was across the room in two strides and lifted me clean off the sofa and against his chest, his mouth claiming mine, while he held me in one arm, my feet dangling off the ground, and his other hand cupping my head, keeping my lips sealed to his, until I was trembling from his kiss, before he lowered me gently to my feet, and his fingers found one already hard nipple, to pinch and twist through the thin cotton jersey of my pyjama top, causing a line of fire to shoot directly to my clit, making my hips buck forward to find his thigh pressed against my sex, so that I ground against his leg. Then, just as suddenly, with his hands at my waist he lifted me backwards and dropped me down onto the sofa again, to land softly amongst the feathery cushions.
"Think about that Callie. Think about how wet you are for me. Think about how much you want me. Think about how good we are together. Think about how I feel inside you. Then when you come to your senses – call me." And with that he was gone, slamming the door behind him.
I was left stunned and shaking and very needy… but even in my aroused state, I was resolved that he'd be waiting a very long time for that call.
So, that's all for now. xox.
J.R. James
I am busy writing again, now that Christmas is out of the way and the house has returned to relative nomality.
Kit and Callie have been nagging at me to tell the rest of their story, and I thought that you might like a little preview, as 'Champagne Promises and Christmas Lies' ended on a cliffhanger... so... the first chapter of 'A New Year Tryst' can be found below. This is in draft form... there may be changes! All I know at the moment is that Max - Callie's ex - is back on the scene, and Kit is implicated in the disappearance of his wife, Stephanie - so it won't all be plain sailing for either of them. I hope that you like the first chapter. I would love your comments, and if enough people read it and want more, I'll give you another chapter or two before publication... which I hope will be before the end of January.
'A New Year Tryst'
Chapter 1
I can't say for sure what time it was when the hammering on the door woke me up.
All I know is that I thought the world must be coming to an end, something that I was actually not too bothered about personally, at that particular moment in time, with the deep and abiding feeling of worthlessness that had seized me afresh with Kit's betrayal. He'd told me that he didn't want to take advantage of me while I was in a fragile state and then had proceeded to do just that… lied to me, cheated on his wife… and used me in some sort of sick game of his own to make her jealous.
Sleep hadn't come immediately. I'd lain in a curled up ball for what seemed like hours, contemplating how completely stupid and naïve I'd been, going over all the whys and wherefores in my aching head, thinking back over everything that had happened, everything that he'd said to me in the last few days, and trying to understand why I'd ever believed him, and how he'd managed to fool me so completely. I'd come to the conclusion, just before sweet oblivion claimed me, that I'd wanted to believe him, because I was that desperate to forget Max, to feel good about myself again, that I hadn't looked too far beyond the gorgeous sexy exterior. And he had made me feel good about myself. He'd said all the right things to allay any doubts I'd had. He'd played my emotions and my body expertly. I had never in my life felt so good. He unlocked my libido and turned me into a sex siren. That's how good he'd made me feel.
Yes, he'd given me pleasure, amazing mind-blowing pleasure. I'm not denying that, and he would probably argue that it's simply quid pro quo. I'd got as much from him as he had from me. I was a consenting adult. He hadn't done anything that I hadn't wanted… in fact begged him for. Where's the harm?
If I was honest with myself I'd known all along that he was out of my league, but then he'd given me the impression that he genuinely liked me and thought we may have a future together. He'd taken my ridiculously infatuated state and used it against me – for his amusement.
The banging was unceasing, and as I came to my head seemed to be thumping with equal ferocity, my tired brain struggling with memories of fleeing from an exotic Surrey mansion, to escape the clutches of the dark mysterious owner before he could lock me in the cellar, being chased from the grounds by a glamorous blonde vampire who was after my blood, while I sped away, in a taxi - a yellow cab for some unfathomable reason - reality interwoven with nightmare. I scrambled, half falling out of bed, and stumbled bleary-eyed in the dark towards the source of the disturbance, thinking that the door would surely cave in under the continuing onslaught. Whatever was happening it must be of cataclysmic proportions to warrant such an urgent summons.
"What? What is it?" I called hoarsely, panicking slightly now.
"Open the fucking door."
What? Kit? Angry? What the hell was he doing here in the middle of the night?
He was going to get me evicted even before I had a chance to tell them that I was quitting if he continued with the racket he was making.
"Callie. Open the door," he yelled at the top of his voice, making the door rattle as he hammered on it again and making me very reluctant to comply.
"Why?" My voice was barely a croak.
"I need to talk to you." I don't know if he was answering my question, or giving me his reason anyway.
"I don't want to see you." Why was he even here? So, his plan to get me into a threesome with his wife hadn't worked out – banging on my door wasn't going to achieve anything. I'd decided that must have been his intention, by the way, during my earlier hours of endless soul-searching, when I'd been trying to make sense of his behaviour. It's all I could think of, given what she, Stephanie, had said about him parading his conquests under her nose… but she'd pretty much sent me packing – obviously not her thing either.
"Just forget it Kit. I'm not into threesomes." I yelled through the door, hoping the neighbours wouldn't hear. "Find someone else for your sick games."
It went very quiet. I began to think that he'd gone.
"I know you met Stephanie. I've no fucking idea why she was there or what she said to you to scare you off, but that's not my thing either – if that's what she told you."
At least he wasn't shouting anymore.
What she said to scare me off? Oh, only that she's his wife, standing in their home, where he'd fucked me all the previous night.
Then the banging started again, making me jump.
"Go away Kit."
"I'm not going anywhere, so you may as well let me in."
"Why?"
"So that I can explain."
"What? That you lied to me? That you used me? Why would I want to hear it?"
"Please Callie. It's not like that."
"What is it like then? Because from where I'm standing it seems very much like that."
"We can't talk though the door Callie. Let me in. I promise that if you want me to leave after I've said what I have to say, I'll go the minute you ask me to. Okay?"
"Is that another of your champagne promises that will fizzle to nothing."
"I have not broken any promise I made to you."
"You promised that you would cherish what I shared with you. You've broken that promise."
"No I haven't Callie. I do cherish what we shared and I cherish you."
"You said that you insist on honesty, but you haven't been honest with me."
"I have in every detail but one. Let me explain."
"It's a pretty big fucking detail Kit – that you are actually not divorced."
"Callie. Let me in and I promise I will explain."
Well, this I have to hear, I thought with bitter irony, as I slowly took the chain off and turned the latch.
The second the door was unlocked, he rushed in like a tornado, sweeping me off my feet, and backing me up against the wall, his mouth on mine, hot and hungry, his tongue pressing against my closed lips, forcing entry, and despite myself I allowed him access, my own lips responding to his heat and his passion, eagerly taking what he gave, my tongue twisting with his, my lips yielding against the firmness of his kiss, wanting him, all of him. I was gasping when he broke away.
"Now tell me that you don't feel what I feel?" He still had me pinned to the wall, his blue eyes blazing, searing into my thoughts, exposing me.
Yes, I felt that. My whole body was quivering with want for him. It's just physical. It's just some weird chemistry that we have. It doesn't get us past the fact that he's married… and that if he wants me at all… it's as his mistress.
"Get off me Kit. NOW. Just let me go." I don't know where I found the strength and resolve that made my voice so firm, but he backed away, leaving me leaning against the wall, trembling.
"I'm never letting you go Callie. You're mine." He said evenly, as if stating a matter of fact. He'd thrown himself down onto the one large overstuffed armchair that took up a good part of the corner of my lounge, and was looking at me, watching me like a hawk watches its prey, as I slowly lowered myself onto the sofa, tucking my legs up under me and wrapping my arms protectively across my chest, worrying that the thin pink cotton jersey of my pyjamas would do nothing to hide my suddenly erect nipples.
"You said you had something to say… so… say it… and then leave, and leave me the fuck alone."
"Is there any point in me saying anything if you've already made up your mind?" His look was piercing.
"Well you seemed to think there was a point when you were trying to break my door down in the middle of the night." I tried to ignore what his presence and that intense look were doing to me.
"It's eight-thirty Callie, hardly the middle of the night. I came straight here when I finally realised what had happened… after running round the house yelling for you… going to the pool…" He paused, his brow furrowing, and his face seeming to crumple for a second, "… half expecting to see you floating face down in the water. I thought something had happened to you. I searched everywhere before I realised that your things had gone."
"Did you really expect me to be there, waiting for you… with your wife? Didn't she tell you about the lovely chat we had? When she told me that I was just part of some sort of game that you like to play… to make her jealous. I have to tell you that it didn't work. She was actually amazingly forgiving, and she seemed more sad and resigned, than jealous, but I've never felt more humiliated… so well done… you scored again." My voice sounded as loaded with contempt for him, as Stephanie's had been towards me, and my pitiful stupidity in having been taken in by him, and to his credit he did at least look abashed.
"Stephanie wasn't there… and there was no sign that she'd been there either. I only realised when I started reviewing the CCTV footage, to find out when you'd left, and saw her arrival. I didn't see you leave because the cameras had been turned off by then… but I put two and two together."
"So she's left you too. Probably about time after what she said… so you came knocking on my door again."
He sighed heavily.
"Callie. Please understand. Stephanie and I have not been together for almost two years. As far as I knew she was still in the States, where she's been since I threw her out. I didn't know she was back… or that she could get into the house. I don't know why she was there… probably just to make trouble. If she was trying to see me… to try to get me to take her back… she'd have got nowhere with that… not after what she did, and everything since. I can't wait to be rid of her once and for all… but she's been refusing to accept the settlement… against the advice of her own lawyers…" He trailed off with another heavy sigh, and a distracted combing of his hand through his mane of near black hair.
"So she was telling the truth – you're not divorced."
"Technically no… but it's just a matter of time."
"So why tell everyone that you're divorced when you're not?"
"I am, in all but the legal sense, and I didn't actually tell you that I was divorced. I said that you would have heard that I was divorced."
"Way to spilt hairs… basically you lied. You told your aunt that you were divorced."
"Yes, to spare her the upset of worrying about me. It was easier for her to think that it was all settled."
"You should have told me the truth."
"Maybe I should have… but it will be the truth soon enough. I didn't see the need to complicate matters. I don't even know why I married her. My life was manic back then, and my personal life was a mess. I'd been fucking around, and fucking up with women for what seemed like forever, so when Stephanie stuck, I thought it was the closest I'd ever get to love. She's incredibly beautiful. We looked good together."
Yes, I had to agree that she was beautiful, certainly more like the sort of woman that I'd expect him to be with.
"And I thought we were good together," he was continuing, "… until after the wedding. She changed almost immediately. When I looked back, after I found out about the way she'd cheated on me - repeatedly - I realised that she'd done all the running, suggested marriage, made all the arrangements… and taken me along for the ride." He paused, looking reflective. "I'd been propelled into a marriage that was cold and empty from the outset, by my own vanity, conceit, and self-absorbed obsession with building up my business."
He shook his head as if he was struggling to believe his own stupidity.
"I think I just wanted security at that time… and the love that I thought she was offering… and I thought marriage was the answer. Once she'd got the ring on her finger she gave up any pretence of loving me, and then I found out that she'd been sleeping around the whole time. After we were married she didn't even try to hide it. She'd only ever been interested in my money and the connections that got her modelling career off the ground. She never really cared about me, but now she's holding me to ransom, and the only way I'm getting this divorce is through the courts, which takes time."
"Wouldn't it be easier just to give her what she wants?"
"I'm confident that any ruling will be in my favour. I have no concerns about that. I have good lawyers. The marriage lasted barely a year… and there's a pretty watertight pre-nuptial agreement, which they'll make stick. She'll regret not settling when she had the chance." There was a resigned note to his voice.
"Yes, but it means that you have to go through all that, when you could probably afford to pay her off and put it all behind you."
"She wants a share of the business… my business. I'd never be free of her. And besides, it's a matter of principle Callie. I've been pushed aside my whole life, and she betrayed me in the worst way."
Yeah… I know a bit about how that feels, but then he's pretty much said that he didn't love her, so he was using her as much as she was using him. It sounds more like hurt pride than a broken heart.
"But, you didn't love her?"
"No… but I thought she loved me. I thought that was enough, and she turned out to be like all the others in my life who should have loved me. I'm not letting her get away with that."
"She'll only get away with it if you keep holding on to the feelings of bitterness that she's left you with. You have to let it go."
"I have let it go. I'm not going to let her continue to fuck my life up. I won't give her that satisfaction. I promise you that. It's finished with."
He's saying the words, and I'm sure he's made himself believe them, but it's clearly still twisting him up inside.
I was about to say as much, when he seemed to pull himself out of the almost dejected pose that he'd held for the last fifteen minutes, and banished the frown from his face, and the bitterness from his voice.
"So what happened today Callie?" he asked almost conversationally.
I told him everything. How I'd been out for a walk and come back to find Stephanie in the kitchen as if she had every right to be there. How she'd made it clear that I was the intruder and should leave, and also everything she'd said about him having plans to build some sort of development on the countryside that I loved.
"That's not true Callie. I love that area too. I virtually grew up there. If anything I'll be making sure that Vera's land remains for agricultural use by re-establishing the farm. I want to protect it from development. I was talking to your dad about it – you can ask him. So why didn't you phone me instead of just running away?"
What? Does he really not recognise how awful it was?
"Because I had no reason not to believe her. I felt stupid… and used… and like a home-wrecking slut." My earlier feelings of absolute mortification washed over me and fresh tears welled in my eyes.
"So you came back here, and you've been crying ever since. I'm so sorry Callie. Come here." He opened his arms, and all I wanted to do was go to him and curl up on his lap, and comfort him, and have him comfort me.
"No… Kit… I can't. I… I… it's all too much. It's all too weird for me."
"So you had no problem believing Stephanie, but you don't believe me?" His eyes narrowed as he looked at me.
"No… it's not that… I do… I… I don't know… I want to believe you… but…"
"But you don't. How can you have any doubts after what we shared, after the conversations we've had, after all that I've told you? Do you really think that I could say all of those things if they weren't true and if I didn't mean them?"
"I don't know what to think… this… us… everything in your life… it's all too much… too fast… you… you… are so different from me… the way you live… I can't live up to that…"
He let me stutter and stumble through my disjointed thoughts, my doubts and my fears.
"Do you need me to remind you how good we are together?" His eyes flashed and I felt the response in my sex, which pulsed to life and definitely reminded me of his earlier presence there.
"I haven't forgotten. I can still feel you all over my body. I want… I just can't..." I was shaking my head, feeling the despair rising in my chest as I refused him, as I fought against what I really wanted.
I need to stay strong.
"Callie… please don't give up on us." His tone had turned plaintive.
"I'm not ready for a relationship… I thought I was… I'm sorry."
If it hurt that much after a few days, how much will it hurt in a few weeks, or months, when he gets tired of me and dumps me like he inevitably will?
"So you're saying that you won't even try. None of us can see into the future Callie. All I know is that I have never felt the connection that I feel with you… and I can't just let that go."
"I need time. I need to think. Please go… please Kit…"
I can't risk it. Maybe I'm a coward… or maybe I'm a realist.
"I'll go… for now… because I promised you that I would." He rose to his feet. "I'll let you think if that's what you need… but just think about this…"
He was across the room in two strides and lifted me clean off the sofa and against his chest, his mouth claiming mine, while he held me in one arm, my feet dangling off the ground, and his other hand cupping my head, keeping my lips sealed to his, until I was trembling from his kiss, before he lowered me gently to my feet, and his fingers found one already hard nipple, to pinch and twist through the thin cotton jersey of my pyjama top, causing a line of fire to shoot directly to my clit, making my hips buck forward to find his thigh pressed against my sex, so that I ground against his leg. Then, just as suddenly, with his hands at my waist he lifted me backwards and dropped me down onto the sofa again, to land softly amongst the feathery cushions.
"Think about that Callie. Think about how wet you are for me. Think about how much you want me. Think about how good we are together. Think about how I feel inside you. Then when you come to your senses – call me." And with that he was gone, slamming the door behind him.
I was left stunned and shaking and very needy… but even in my aroused state, I was resolved that he'd be waiting a very long time for that call.
So, that's all for now. xox.
J.R. James
December 11, 2014
FREE Erotic Romance
Champagne Promises & Christmas Lies: Adult Romantic Fiction
Hi, my latest book 'Champagne Promises and Christmas Lies' will be available FREE for Kindle at Amazon for THREE DAYS from tomorrow, Friday 12th December 2014, for anyone who wants to give it a go. If you know anyone who likes this genre please let them know too.
It's basically an erotic romance, set at Christmas. So... Christmas... and love... and hot sex... oh, and spanking too.
Readers in the U.S. can access my Amazon author page and links to the above book at:
https://www.amazon.com/author/j.r.james
Hi, my latest book 'Champagne Promises and Christmas Lies' will be available FREE for Kindle at Amazon for THREE DAYS from tomorrow, Friday 12th December 2014, for anyone who wants to give it a go. If you know anyone who likes this genre please let them know too.
It's basically an erotic romance, set at Christmas. So... Christmas... and love... and hot sex... oh, and spanking too.
Readers in the U.S. can access my Amazon author page and links to the above book at:
https://www.amazon.com/author/j.r.james
December 5, 2014
Hello Goodreads
Hi everyone,
I'm finally getting round to blogging and I have to admit straight away to being a total technophobe and having absolutely no idea how blogs work, so I hope that you will bear with me and forgive me if I commit any sort of massive blogging faux pas. Hopefully I'll get better with practice. At the moment I'm not even sure where a blog goes once I press whatever I have to press when I'm done with my ramblings.
I'm guessing that if you are reading this it's because you are interested in my books... so thank you for that. I really enjoy writing - love it in fact - but then I probably wouldn't love it so much if I didn't know that there are readers who enjoy reading what I have written - if that makes any sense.
I can't promise that I will be able to blog very often, for which small mercy you are probably breathing a sigh of relief, because when I'm writing I get completely caught up in the book, and that takes up most of my time. I actually become a bit obsessed if I'm honest, with ideas and dialogue going round in my head even when I'm meant to be doing something else. Of course having a gorgeous red-hot man waltzing through my thoughts is not entirely awful - but it is distracting.
At the moment I've just published 'Champagne Promises and Christmas Lies', so I'm deliberately trying not to think about the next book for a couple of days - well not too much. I've got lots of notes and a rough idea of where it's going. That doesn't always work out.'Champagne Promises'was meant to have been complete in one volume... but because of the Christmas theme I wanted to get it out before Christmas, so I had to split it into two parts when it was obvious that to do it justice it would be longer than originally intended. So, I'm sorry about that but I will be setting the price for the second part as low as possible too, and I hope to complete it by February 2015... but with Christmas fast approaching, I'm already panicking about getting everything done that needs to be done. Meanwhile Callie and Kit (my new characters, not my kids) are calling to me... and I've got a mountain of Christmas cards to write, which I'll inevitably leave to the last possible moment anyway, because I always do. So, yes, I'll be getting back to their story in the next day or so... in fact maybe even later today... except I've just remembered I've got friends coming round later... so that might depend on how much wine we drink. But definitely soon.
I'm also working on the final part of Ellie's Journal - which I've been putting off completing... because it will be the last book that I write about Nick and Ellie... and I'm not sure that I can let them go just yet.
I do have ideas for books about some of the other characters that have appeared alongside them, so Nick and Ellie may still feature from time to time... just to make parting from them a little easier.
So... I better get on with it. As I said before, I'm not sure how this works, so I'll just say goodbye for now, and see what happens.J.R. James
I'm finally getting round to blogging and I have to admit straight away to being a total technophobe and having absolutely no idea how blogs work, so I hope that you will bear with me and forgive me if I commit any sort of massive blogging faux pas. Hopefully I'll get better with practice. At the moment I'm not even sure where a blog goes once I press whatever I have to press when I'm done with my ramblings.
I'm guessing that if you are reading this it's because you are interested in my books... so thank you for that. I really enjoy writing - love it in fact - but then I probably wouldn't love it so much if I didn't know that there are readers who enjoy reading what I have written - if that makes any sense.
I can't promise that I will be able to blog very often, for which small mercy you are probably breathing a sigh of relief, because when I'm writing I get completely caught up in the book, and that takes up most of my time. I actually become a bit obsessed if I'm honest, with ideas and dialogue going round in my head even when I'm meant to be doing something else. Of course having a gorgeous red-hot man waltzing through my thoughts is not entirely awful - but it is distracting.
At the moment I've just published 'Champagne Promises and Christmas Lies', so I'm deliberately trying not to think about the next book for a couple of days - well not too much. I've got lots of notes and a rough idea of where it's going. That doesn't always work out.'Champagne Promises'was meant to have been complete in one volume... but because of the Christmas theme I wanted to get it out before Christmas, so I had to split it into two parts when it was obvious that to do it justice it would be longer than originally intended. So, I'm sorry about that but I will be setting the price for the second part as low as possible too, and I hope to complete it by February 2015... but with Christmas fast approaching, I'm already panicking about getting everything done that needs to be done. Meanwhile Callie and Kit (my new characters, not my kids) are calling to me... and I've got a mountain of Christmas cards to write, which I'll inevitably leave to the last possible moment anyway, because I always do. So, yes, I'll be getting back to their story in the next day or so... in fact maybe even later today... except I've just remembered I've got friends coming round later... so that might depend on how much wine we drink. But definitely soon.
I'm also working on the final part of Ellie's Journal - which I've been putting off completing... because it will be the last book that I write about Nick and Ellie... and I'm not sure that I can let them go just yet.
I do have ideas for books about some of the other characters that have appeared alongside them, so Nick and Ellie may still feature from time to time... just to make parting from them a little easier.
So... I better get on with it. As I said before, I'm not sure how this works, so I'll just say goodbye for now, and see what happens.J.R. James
