Twinkle (Sugandha) Varshney's Blog, page 45
June 18, 2018
No One But You by Alexandra Silva


Title: No One But YouAuthor: Alexandra SilvaGenre: Contemporary Romance
Cover Design: Tickle MEdiaRelease Date: July 27, 2018
Blurb
QUINCY
They say bad things happen in threes…
I made a mistake. I kissed the right boy, but married the wrong man. They were friends. Best friends. Until my life fell apart.Everything changed.Something was stolen and then something was given in its place. I had so much in my grasp, maybe it was too much because everything started slipping. My son.My husband.My sanity.Only one thing remained the same.My first crush.My first kiss.My first love.
JAMIE
They say you can’t miss what you’ve never had…
But I swear I had her. At least for one kiss.I left the right girl and tried to replace her with the wrong woman.It didn’t work because I still missed her.I promised my best friend I’d always look after his little sister. And our other best friend promised to never break her heart.He lied.I didn’t.
We have circled each other all our lives but our time never came. We’ve never had our moment until now.
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Excerpt
“A penny for your thoughts?”I swear every time he talks to me my heart just about explodes out of my chest. Jamie’s voice is so different. It’s changed. It’s deeper and rumbly, and it makes me think and imagine things that I don’t usually go out of my way to think about let alone imagine. It makes my belly do acrobatics and my mouth water.How is that possible? How can his voice alone do that to me?“Are you still angry with me?” He asks as he sits on the edge of the hot tub my parents had installed on the first floor balcony.It’s such a pretty view. The water and the trees that surround one side of it with all the beautiful grey, white and light blue lake houses that line it in a cosy and enclosed U. You can just make out the green rolling hills surrounding us with the large church spire just about breaking the treeline. It’s just so wonderfully beautiful.“I’m not upset with you,” I hear myself reply even though I am a little.To be honest I think I’m a little more heartbroken that he’s leaving than I am angry. I was so looking forward to having Jamie around at Oxford, but he’s going to do an Overseas Exchange to UCLA so he can learn from some great minds like Doctor Wilson Weller—a teaching and practicing Neurosurgery god. Or whatever Jamie calls him. Phillip decided to stay close to home at UCL even though he got an offer to Oxford just like Jamie and Richard did three years ago. He doesn’t want to leave his new girlfriend, Jamie’s sister and one of my best friends, behind. I think I’m a little bit jealous of them, even if am happy for them. Jamie is just coming round to the idea, and I know that the only reason why he came to find me is probably because he still doesn’t know how to handle them being so touchy and lovey dovey with one another.“You’re not?” He shuffles closer until the side of his thigh touches mine.His legs are different too. They have a light smattering of hair that kind of matches his chest and the trail down from his navel. I can’t help but run my eyes down his slightly defined torso and down the light trail of fuzz that leads down to the top of his shorts, all the way down his shorts to his thighs and knees.I’m so distracted by all his golden skin that I don’t even realise how fast my heart is beating until I feel the hammering in my chest pulsing up my neck to the back of my throat. Seriously?My skin heats as he wraps his arm around my bare shoulders. His thumbs lightly strumming the string holding my bikini top up around my neck. It’s like the sun shines brighter in that moment and the UV rays become laser strong and solely focused on me.“Then why did you throw the Uni hamper we gave you in the bin?”“Because it’s stupid. I don’t need wine and condoms and…”“You say that now, but when you get there you’ll be thankful. You don’t want to be caught short, the dial-a-condom service isn’t as discreet or anonymous as you think.”“Guys don’t even look at me like that.” I shrug.He goes super still next to me. His arm becomes slightly heavier on my shoulders and his thumb tucks under the halter neck string of my red bikini top. He clears his throat and I can hear his Adam’s apple bob as he swallows.“Quincy, that’s not true. Believe me, my sisters have made it a point to tell me every chance they get.”He pulls me closer to him so that I have no other option but to rest my head on his shoulder.“Why would they do that?” I mumble into the soft skin of his shoulder. It’s shiny and taught. It wraps flawlessly around his lean muscled arms with the odd sun freckle here and there. He smells briny and citrusy. A combination of his cologne, sweat and the lake water.I inhale deeply as his shoulders shake with humour.Wait, why is he laughing at me?“Why are you laughing at me?”He clears his throat again before he sighs, “You have no idea.”“No idea of what?”Our eyes lock as I look up at him. His bright blue eyes are like ocean blue sparkling glass as the sun lights them up. They have these silvery grey flecks that bleed to the edges of his irises and form these thin dark rings that are only marginally lighter than his pupil.“You’re so pretty…so beautiful…”It’s like he can read my mind and steal the words on the tip of my tongue as he reaches for my hair with his hand and wraps it with my long tresses.And if my heart wasn’t already hammering into my ribcage it’s now batter ramming its way out like it’s trying to break free or get closer to his heart. I don’t know. All I know is that I can’t actually say anything. I can’t verbalise with the way that he’s looking at me. The way his eyes are eating up every inch of my face and the way they flitter down to my chest and then up to my lips. His wet and shiny pink tongue darts out and moistens his lower lip before he draws said lip in with his teeth and bites down so hard that the blood and colour drain around the trenches his teeth have made.I can’t help but mimic him with my own tongue and lips and teeth. He gasps lightly and as my eyes meet his again the pupils are so big that there is only a perfectly slim ring of silver speckled cerulean surrounding them. And I can’t breathe. The air feels too hot and dry. And thick? Why does the air feel so thick? It feels like I’m filling my lungs with invisible oil. My lungs feel so full that they have to push the air back out in deep and long unsteady breaths.The arm around my shoulders falls and he brings his hand up to cup my cheek. And I know what’s happening because I’ve seen it in films and I’ve seen other people around us kiss. I can even kind of picture it in my mind—what we must look like right now. But I still can’t quite comprehend why he’s coming closer to me. Why his breathing is just as manic as mine. I can’t understand why he’s about to kiss me with wide eyes and desperate breaths. The hand in my hair tugs slightly and my face tilts marginally so that our lips touch.Oh, God.His warm lips are so soft and so tender as they brush over mine and I want to throw my arms around his neck, straddle his lap and just fucking devour him.Fuck, I’m like some lust crazed person.I don’t even know how I manage to stay so still with all those thoughts and all the electricity zapping through me.I don’t know what to do next. If I should open my mouth or lick his lips. Whether I should touch him. I want to touch. I am touching him.He’s groaning as he licks my lips and as my hands hold on to his waist so tight that my nails bite into his flesh. But then it’s not just my nails biting into his skin, it’s his teeth sinking into my lower lip. It’s his hand cupping my face so hard that I know it should hurt, I know that it’ll leave a mark, but I don’t care because it feels so fucking good. It’s his fingers weaving so tightly into my hair that the sting makes me want to pull on his hair too.I can’t help the strangled moan that escapes my mouth as he slips his tongue inside and licks my own. I’ve never kissed or been kissed like this before and even though I’m unpractised and new to this, my hands seem to be in the know as they travel brazenly down his sides to the top of his swimming shorts and as unsure as I am, I know that I want to slip my hands under the elastic and become acquainted with every last inch of his sexy skin.Shit, I don’t think I’ve ever used that word to describe another person, let alone a boy…a man. Jamie.He grumbles a shallow growl right at the back of his throat as my fingertips skim around the navy elastic of his shorts. His tongue licks deeper and twirls around mine.I want more. I want to tell him that I want it too, but I don’t want to stop kissing him back and I have this unsure tightness in chest that makes me bashful and fearful that he’d reject me anyway.I want him to touch me in ways that I’ve only heard other girls boast and brag that they’d been touched. I want his mouth and his tongue to taste a lot more than just my own.Before I even realise it we’re both standing in the middle of the warm, soft rolling water and his hands are squeezing my bum cheeks to the point that I think they’ll leave bruises. And it makes me feel excited in ways that I’ve never felt before and it makes me feel like a livewire. All this and he never stops our kiss. His tongue tastes mine with a ferocity that feels like years of need all at once. I rove my hands up his sides and his back, relishing the feel of his muscles pulling and tightening under his hot skin. By the time my hands round to his chest and travel up to his hair our bodies are completely flush and my boobs feel even bigger and heavier than they already are. My nipples feel sore like they’re being pinched and pulled and there’s this familiar, yet new ache that’s building between my legs and the bubbling water is only making that ache stronger whilst making it feel better at the same time.I’ve never felt the arousal of a man, but I can feel his and it’s pressing deliciously to my lower belly. I feel the heat creep up my neck and flush my cheeks and all I want to do is find a way of getting closer. My fingers tighten their grip in his sun bleached brown hair and I can’t help but pull him down to me, even as I feel him softly pull away.No. Please don’t stop.

Author Bio

Alexandra Silva is a lover of words and romance. She blames the classics and a nutty English teacher for her obsession with books and fiction. Come rain or shine with either coffee or wine in hand you can find her with her nose stuck in a book and her head in the clouds. She lives in London outnumbered by her very loud boys, with her very own hero and their two wild cats—Jack and Jill.
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Published on June 18, 2018 08:55
Four Days By A.S. Kelly



Sensitive and damaged Rain O’Donovan lives with her brother and his friends in a tiny seaside town north of Dublin. Once a popular and lively schoolteacher, a car accident has wrecked her life, so that her only pleasure is walking in the rain, and her world revolves around mundane tasks, devoid of hope for the future. The amnesia around the time of the accident that changed everything means that her struggle with life is a day-to-day torture, and, more than anything else, she longs for answers.
When Liam returns to his hometown after his two-year absence, he’s determined to try to make amends for the terrible mistakes he made. But is it too late to put things right?
Rainy Days is a complete standalone and a part of the Four Days Series.Amazon US: https://amzn.to/2JZCQckAmazon UK: https://amzn.to/2tef95k Amazon CA: https://amzn.to/2tekTfqAmazon AU: https://amzn.to/2MuSQRTBOOK TWO - $1.99 SALE


Erin O’Neill is a bright young woman with her future well planned: she’s about to graduate, she’s got a part-time job in Patrick’s pub and the perfect boyfriend until the unexpected happens, upsetting her life and turning all her well-laid plans upside down, leaving her alone and desperate.
Patrick isn’t the kind of guy to get caught up in other people’s problems, especially if it involves a damsel in distress, but he can’t help coming to her aid and finds himself catapulted into her life against his will—even if he would like to maybe be part of that life—even if that means getting hurt, and hurting her too. Because Patrick destroys everything he touches.
Sweet Days is a complete standalone and a part of the Four Days SeriesAmazon US: https://amzn.to/2MwnIBC Amazon UK: https://amzn.to/2HSK8cG Amazon CA: https://amzn.to/2ym87kK Amazon AU: https://amzn.to/2LRl1cD


And then the door slams open.
And he’s here.
He’s worried, and scared and desperate.
He’s absolutely perfect.
He looks at me and in a heartbeat all the pieces come back together and I can breathe again, as if he were the air passing through my lungs.
“I … I’m sorry,” he yells, trying to drown out the sound of the hail.
“It wasn’t your fault,” I yell back.
He takes a step forward.
“It is. I allowed all of this to happen. I established a reputation that meant that trashy girls like that would come here looking for me. I made it so that everyone believed that I am the dickhead that I really am. That you would think it too.”
“And you are,” I say, moving my wet hair from my eyes.
“I am.” He smiles bitterly. “But I don’t want to be like that any more.”
“No?” I ask with a pained voice and a bit of hope brushing up against my heart.
“No I don’t. But I’ll need your help,” he says, taking another step closer to me. “I need you to help me to be a better person.”
“M-me? Why me?”
Another step closer and his forehead is touching mine. It caresses my face and I close my eyes to let his touch imprint itself in my mind.
“Because with you, Erin, I feel I can be … different. I can be myself. I feel that I can finally be a man.”



She’s passionate about English literature, she’s a music lover and addicted to coffee. She spends her days in a small village North of Dublin, looking for inspiration for her next stories.Facebook Page: https://bit.ly/2k65oSPNewsletter: https://bit.ly/2IUnZz0Twitter: https://bit.ly/2rWVzu3 @ASKelly_BooksInstagram: https://bit.ly/2L8kh3a @askellyauthorBookbub: https://bit.ly/2Is3WobAmazon Page: https://amzn.to/2L9RMCh

Published on June 18, 2018 05:15
Love, Immortal


Romance/Fantasy/Sci-fiDate Published: April 1, 2018

The Alchemy Initiative—a doomed scientist’s failed attempt to harvest human souls from the afterlife and bind them to complex machines—has been reinitiated. But it doesn’t take long to discover why the program responsible for making Ethan Remington the ultimate weapon was shut down when the spirit of the highly unstable and murderous Agent Drekker goes rogue, embarking on a sinister rampage in an attempt to claim the ultimate prize. That prize is Ethan—everything that Ethan has and everyone who he loves. No one is safe, especially young Hogan who has begun to display some frightening and incredible abilities. To stop this insatiable evil, Ethan may have to forfeit his humanity…and even his soul.
About the Author
Born and raised in a small sunny town in South Carolina, Eden finds thunderstorms to be inspiring. There are few things she loves more (except maybe cake) than curling up with a good book on a rainy day, often reading into the wee hours of morning when something really grabs her. Rather than being backed into a genre corner, Eden loves to blend elements of romance, fantasy, sci-fi, comedy, action, mystery and adventure into her novels.
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Published on June 18, 2018 04:16
June 17, 2018
Savior of Midnight by Debbie Cassidy


About the BookSavior of Midnight
by Debbie Cassidy
Series
Chronicles of Midnight #5
Genre
Adult
Urban Fantasy
Reverse Harem Paranormal Romance
Publisher
Independent
Publication Date
June 14, 2018
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The Chronicles of Midnight SeriesThe CHRONICLES OF MIDNIGHT series is now complete and available on KindleUnlimited for your reading pleasure! Click here to see all 5 books on Amazon!

About Debbie Cassidy

Debbie Cassidy lives in England, Bedfordshire, with her three kids and very supportive husband. Coffee and chocolate biscuits are her writing fuels of choice, and she is still working on getting that perfect tower of solitude built in her back garden. Obsessed with building new worlds and reading about them, she spends her spare time daydreaming and conversing with the characters in her head – in a totally non psychotic way of course. She writes High Fantasy, Urban Fantasy and Science Fiction. Debbie also writes dark, diverse Urban Fantasy fiction, under the pen name Amos Cassidy, with her best friend Richard Amos.Debbie’s LinksNewsletter | Website | Facebook | Twitter | Goodreads | Amazon
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Published on June 17, 2018 13:30
Reclaimed By Marcella Swann


Contemporary RomanceDate Published: May 30, 2018

Beyond all else, Samira Foster wanted one thing: Elliot Dowling. He was her passion, her need. They were just kids but she knew it was real. The way he kissed her; the way he held her. Yet he’s the one thing that was denied her. The scion of a powerful and wealthy family, she’s now the head of Foster Acquisitions. But she doesn’t have it all. The pressure, the demands, the wolves. And she’s all alone. She needs someone. She needs him. And she’ll have him … even if it destroys her.
Excerpt
Elliot slowly began to realize that, despite the adrenaline flooding his system, nothing had truly changed since he had walked away years ago. He had to fight not to reminisce about the days they spent together, whether it was at the park, the lake or hiking the trails while the world waited back in the city. She was still the perfect girl, and now the woman, that every man dreamed of, and he knew that she had no business slumming it with the likes of him. Samira’s eyes started to glow in the same way they used to when she looked at him. She could see deep into his soul, all of his feelings, and right now he wondered if she knew the truth.
“I almost gave up hope trying to find you,” she said. “It’s been years since you disappeared. I was beginning to think I would never see you again. Then the name Dowling Holdings came across my desk and I heard you’d returned. Why didn’t you reach out to me?”
“I thought about it, but there are things…”
“I know.” Samira nodded. Her smile faded slightly, but she suppressed the frustration that Elliot knew she must’ve been feeling. “I had my investigators do a complete workup on Dowling Holdings. The only thing they can’t tell me is why you left. Was it because of what your father did?”
Elliot shook his head, he was certain there were things no one could know, and truthfully said, “My father’s actions might have held something over me at one point, but that doesn’t shadow my decisions anymore.”
Samira looked confused, then sad for a split second. “Was it me? Did you not reach out because of something that I did?”
Elliot once again shook his head. “God no, Sam, you’re amazing!”
He watched something click in her head, and even though he had never told her what happened that night, she figured it out.
“It was my dad then,” she said. “He never approved of us; even if he never told me, I knew that he hated the thought of us together. Did he threaten you? Forbid you from seeing me?”
Elliot could not look at her. Samira’s face flushed with anger as she continued, “Two and a half billion dollars in profit last year from a holding company that you built yourself. If you can’t see how impressive that is, I would be shocked! That was your hard work and determination! If my dad was even alive, he would not have a leg to stand on to keep us apart.”
“Sam, I wanted everything to be just right, or at least, cleaned up…”
Samira stood up. “No, Elliot. I don’t believe you. Everything you’ve gone through, everything you’ve built, doesn’t matter. You’ve let him stand between us for all these years. He was my father, and no matter what he said, I was never afraid of him or let him run my life. You could have everything you want now, but instead, you just keep trying to prove yourself to a dead man.”
Samira got up, clearly upset, and headed for the door.
Every part of him wanted to run after her, and take her into his arms again, but where would they go from here? He saw now how crazy it was to bring her back into his dark world again.
About the Author
Marcella Swann has been putting words on paper for as long as she can remember. After working for years in the hard-edged world of journalism, she now devotes her time to writing contemporary romance stories of strong-willed women who win the men of their desires.
As passionate about love as the beauty of a story well told, Marcella is a complete romantic and believes everyone desires their happily ever after.
A small-town girl from Louisiana, Marcella now lives in New York City and starts each day walking her Yorkie in the park. She also swings a mean kettlebell at the gym and loves Karaoke nights with her friends.
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Published on June 17, 2018 05:05
June 16, 2018
BUTTERFLIES AND FLUTTERBYES by Maggie Lowe

by Maggie LoweGenre: Women's Poetry
Publisher: Hydra Productions
Cover Designer: Chandra TruLove Fry

This is a collection of poems straight from the heart of Maggie Lowe. Some will bring you to tears, and some will light your face with a smile. They will touch your heart and warm your soul.






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Author Maggie Lowe has been writing ever since she was able to pick up a pencil. As a child she could create worlds of all kinds. At the age of eight she wrote her first song. When she was thirteen she wrote her first fan-fiction story. At the age of twenty-five she wrote her first book that she hopes to publish someday soon. And now, at the age of thirty-three she published her first poetry book. Now she is currently working on several WIPs and looks to the future full of hope and excitement for what's to come!
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Published on June 16, 2018 12:00
Under Control By Laura Catherine


Title: Under Control (the Guardians of Ivalice Book 2) Author: Laura Catherine Genre: Urban Fantasy Release Date: June 16, 2018 Cover Designer: Laura Catherine Hosted by: Buoni Amici Press, LLC.


Nix, Grace and Phoebe are having problems with their new elemental powers. They keep losing control and sooner or later they are going to get caught or hurt someone.When Nix gets grounded from preforming a gig, after having a fight with her boyfriend and accidentally starting a small fire, the girls come up with a plan to practice their powers and regain some control.Kendra, on the other hand, is shutting everyone out. Despite Phoebe's best efforts to get through to her, Kendra wants nothing to do with magic or Ivalice, but she can't hide away forever because Morgan is desperate to find a way to Earth and take back the elements. As he gets closer to a solution Morgan’s obsession grows and begins to come at a cost.






“Test five hundred and sixteen. Failed,” Morgan said as he sat slumped at his desk, his head in one hand.Morgan had been running tests all day and night. It was taking its toll on him. He was tired, but he couldn’t stop. He was getting so close.He channelled energy from the void bat into a bottle and watched the wispy smoke swirl. Morgan had come up with so many different ways to extract the energy from the bat, so many different forms it took.A knock on the door brought Morgan back from his thoughts. He placed the bottle on a shelf above his desk with the other failed experiments.“Come,” he said and took a more authoritative pose, sitting up straight, hands in his lap.Hunter lumbered into the room; his claws tapping on the marble floors.“What is it now?” Morgan said, rising from his chair and walking toward the window. He’d like to think it was to seem aloof, but it was more because he didn’t want Hunter to see how tired he was. The bags under his eyes.“It’s about the party of guards you had me send to the town of Riven,” Hunter growled.“What about them? Have they brought order back to the town?”“No. They’ve all been killed,” Hunter replied.Morgan clenched a fist. “How exactly does that happen?”“I’m not a hundred percent sure. There were no survivors to bring back information, but we know the rebels took out the last guards.”“I sent over twenty men. How was that not enough?”“Likely there are more rebels out there than we originally thought.”Morgan slammed his fist on the windowsill. “Fine. Seems that if I want to keep the town protected, then I’ll have to go myself.”Morgan channelled his Spirit and changed his clothes from silver robes to a travelling outfit of pants, shirt, and a cloak.“Ready my horse,” Morgan ordered as he swooped past Hunter.Hunter bowed. “Yes, my lord.”“Can’t say I’m a shut-in now,” Morgan whispered as he made his way through the palace. “I’ve got everything under control.”




Laura Catherine was born in Melbourne, Australia where she spent most of her childhood creating fantasy worlds and talking to her invisible pet cheetah who ran along powerlines. She completed a Diploma of Writing and Editing at Holmesglen Tafe where she learned a lot about turning her stories into actual books instead of just ideas hidden away on scrap paper in her desk draws. Laura self-published her first novel, Djinn (2013), a Paranormal Romance, and the second in the series, Blooders (2015). Her latest release was for a new YA Fantasy series, The Guardians of Ivalice (2017). Laura is currently working on the next instalment in the Djinn series, Bloodjinn, as well as book two in The Guardians series.






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Published on June 16, 2018 11:00
Wine Thief By Mary Billiter

Title: Wine ThiefAuthor: Mary BilliterGenre: Contemporary RomanceRelease Date: May 29, 2018Publisher: Hot Tree PublishingCover Designer: Soxsational Cover Art

Available now! Amazon US: https://amzn.to/2KMCt1vAll other links: books2read.com/winethief


Chloe Dorsey places her belongings in storage, puts Southern California in her rearview mirror, and heads to her sister’s home in Northern California for a fresh start. As one of the newly hired wine educators at the Napa Valley Point Resort and Winery, Chloe’s knowledge of wine is as limited as her income.
Anthony “Tony” Mahoney has one objective—to locate the Mother Vine, the source of the rare and award-winning wine that can only be found at the Napa Valley Point Resort and Winery. His talent for stealing secrets is tested when he makes an unlikely alliance with the one woman who could destroy all his plans.
Can Chloe stop the wine thief, or will she have her heart crushed in the process?


When a tall blonde sipping a glass of red glanced over at us, I politely smiled in her direction. I shot my two moronic friends a stern warning glare, but that didn’t stop either of them from laughing. And despite myself, I grinned, but added, “Nothing wrong with short hair. And from where I’m standing she wears it well.”

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Mary Billiter is a weekly newspaper columnist and fiction author. She also has novels published under the pen name, “Pumpkin Spice.”
Mary resides in the Cowboy State with her unabashedly bald husband, her four amazing children, two fantastic step-kids, and their runaway dog. She does her best writing (in her head) on her daily runs in wild, romantic, beautiful Wyoming.

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Published on June 16, 2018 10:00
Snafu Fubar: Nothing Heroic


Adult HumorDate Published: Oct 2016

*****WARNING***** If you are easily offended, then this is NOT the book for you. Please put it down and back away slowly. However, if you have a warped sense of humor, please read on.
In the town of Lost Hope, Florida reside two heroes unlike any others. These champions of justice go by the names of Snafu Fubar and General Nuisance. Nightly they patrol their fine city to protect it from evil's grasp. And by 'patrol' we mean they sit on a porch, appropriately nicknamed 'The Fucking Nuisance Cave', drinking beers, smoking cigars, and talking about sex.
Excerpt
Meanwhile, across the street from the trailer park, in a convenience store that General Nuisance and Snafu Fubar frequented, a robber had just entered, brandishing a pistol. He pointed it at the clerk behind the counter, a young boy who had not yet reached legal drinking age and who still had a zit party in full swing on his chubby face. “Put your hands in the air and give me the money!” The clerk looked confused for a moment and then shrugged.
“I can’t do both.”
“Huh...what?”
The clerk rolled his eyes. “I can’t put my hands in the air and give you the money.”
“Fine. Put one hand in the air and hand me the money with the other one.” The robber gestured with the gun.
“OK, which hand?”
“Right…no, wait a minute. Left.”
“Left hand up or left hand get the money?”
The robber banged his head against the counter three times and glared at the clerk. “Left hand get the money.”
Ding Ding.
The robber and clerk both looked toward the store's door, through which a female customer had just entered. She was blond, with a great body and nice rack, but her face was ugly as sin. “Can I get twenty on pump five?”
The robber stepped towards her, motioning with the gun. “Lie down on the floor now!”
“What? Really? Have you seen this floor? I’d probably have a higher chance of survival if you just shoot me. I think I’ll take my chances!”
The robber glanced down at the floor. “OK. Point taken. Just sit on the floor.”
“Really wish I hadn’t picked today to wear stilettos and this damn mini skirt with no panties,” griped the customer. “I mean, if I’m going to catch an STD, I really wanted to do it the fun way.” She looked about as graceful as a giraffe on roller skates as she tried several maneuvers to get down on the floor without giving the clerk and the robber their own private peep show.
General Nuisance met Snafu in the parking lot of the convenience store. They did the handshake, the fist bump, the high five, the gang sign, the chest bump and the butt slap — to which they both said in unison, “NO GO HOMO!” This, of course, made it perfectly acceptable for two grown men to slap each other on the ass.
“Do you see what I see?” General Nuisance pointed into the convenience store that held his beloved beer.
“Yeah, some idiot sitting on a disease ridden floor. Hope she knows there are more enjoyable ways to catch an STD.”
“I agree, but I wasn’t talking about her. Look again…a robber!”
“Cool! You wanna hand out some Bronze Age justice?”
General Nuisance poked his friend in the arm. “I got one better...Iron Age justice, huh, huh?”
“Oh, that’s just stupid! What did the Iron Age have that the Bronze Age didn’t?”
“Really? Asia was smelting tin and brass by then…you can’t top that. What was your Bronze Age doing? Cave men were still circle jerking on dinosaurs' corpses.”
“That’s the Stone Age, you idiot.” Snafu shook his head. “You can be so dumb at times.”
While Snafu Fubar and General Nuisance debated over the kind of justice they were going to hand out, things inside the store took a bizarre turn.
“Man, my drawer is gonna be off. I’m gonna have to overcharge all my customers tonight,” the clerk whined as he looked down at his till.
“Shut up! Just get the money,” screamed the robber.
“I don’t feel so well,” said the female customer, whose face was now a sickly shade of green. She burped once then farted. A moment later, she puked all over the floor and shit herself.
“Crap! Now I’m going to have to mop the floor and man, I was really hoping to leave that for the morning shift. I mean I could kind of push everything under the candy counter. There’s a good chance no one would notice and I could just place a wet floor sign where she is at. Yeah…the more I think about it, I’m pretty sure that would work.”
“Oh my God! Why are you taking so long?” The robber pointed the gun at the clerk again.
The store's door swung open. Loud rock music blared as Snafu and General Nuisance entered the store. “I’m here to kick some ass and hand out –“, Snafu sighed, “Industrial Revolution era justice!”
“See?!? Was that so hard?” General Nuisance asked with a smile.
The robber grabbed the clerk by his shirt collar. “This is why you should have moved faster. Both of you get down on the ground now…or the clerk dies.”
General Nuisance and Snafu both looked down at the female customer who was now shaking and in the midst of some kind of convulsion. “Yeah, that’s just not going to happen,” Snafu said.
“Son, put the gun down.” General Nuisance spoke as calmly as a man being threatened with sitting on a disease-ridden floor could speak.
“How about I shoot you?!” screamed the frustrated robber as he pointed the gun first at General Nuisance then at Snafu.
“Yeah, shoot those costumed freaks!” chimed in the clerk.
“You stay out of this!” the robber yelled at the clerk.
“Why are you rooting for the robber?” asked Snafu.
“I don’t know…just seemed like we were connecting…I don’t get a lot of social interaction here.”
The robber looked back and forth between the costumed vigilantes and the clerk. “Shit! I don’t know who to shoot first!”
“Please God, let it be me! Bleck!” said the customer on the floor as she puked again.
“Well, while you decide that, I’m going to grab a Slushee,” Snafu said as he strolled toward the back of the store.
“Yeah. Me too. Let’s grab the beer and some beef jerky while we’re at it,” General Nuisance said as he patted the robber on the shoulder and walked past him.
The robber snatched the money from the clerk's hand and ran out of the store. “Ya’ll are fuckin’ crazy!”
The clerk, looking as though he'd just lost his best friend or a beloved pet, leaned over the edge of the counter.
“Call me...I mean if you want to hang out or something,” the clerk yelled as the robber made his escape. When he didn’t get a response, the clerk slumped back against his stool.
“They never call.”
About the Author

Bob Dixon is a two-time Guinness World Record holder for the World's Longest Cartoon Strip. He is the author and creator of a number of comic book titles for Pocket Change Comics, including Assassinette: The Mind Stalker, Psyco Duck, Jester's Dead, The Holy Knight, Riplash, Shadow Slasher, and Warzone 3719. Bob has written two children books, Rooty the Tree Troll and Holiday Bunny; two young adult books, Mouch and Company: The Dream Psychic and Rags and Ruins; An adult humor book Snafu Fubar : Nothing Heroic; and is the co-author of Will Jones' biography A Tough Call. Bob is also the Writer/Director of the movie Dr. Prozak's Office. Additionally, he is a certified special education teacher who works with children who have autism and intellectual delays.
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Published on June 16, 2018 05:07
June 15, 2018
Comfort Zone by Missy Johnson


Title: Comfort ZoneSeries: Awkward Love #4Author: Missy JohnsonGenre: RomanceRelease Date: June 15, 2018
Blurb
There's nothing quite like watching your professor as he motorboats a stripper.
The expression on his face when he looked up and saw me standing there would've been funny if I wasn't so mortified. I wanted to turn around and run, but I couldn't do that to Jake. It was his bachelor party, after all.
So, instead, we stumbled our way through the world's most awkward conversation, because what do you say after witnessing that?
At least things couldn't get much worse, right?
Wrong.
The real fun began when the guys figured out how we knew each other.
Have you ever heard of the term frottage? Yeah, neither had I. Just like I'd completely underestimated how awkward it would be getting a lap dance from another woman while my professor watches, or how turned on I'd be.
My first mistake was going there in the first place.
My second mistake was not leaving the moment I saw him.
My third mistake, and the one I regret most?
Applying for that TA position with him last week…
** Comfort Zone is a M/F student/professor romance **
**Awkward Love is a series of sexy, fun novels that can be read in ANY order. Each book is COMPLETELY separate from the next, so you can read one, or you can read them all**
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Author Bio
Missy lives in a small town in Central Victoria with her husband, and her confused pets (a dog who think she's a cat, a cat who thinks he's a dog...you get the picture).
When she's not writing, she can usually be found looking for something to read.
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Published on June 15, 2018 11:00