R. Leib's Blog: Dream State - Posts Tagged "dealing"

I was pretty sick this past week. That's why no blog entries. Not that anyone would have noticed. No activity on my book either. One of the things that they don't tell you about getting old is that small injuries heal sooooo slowly. I used to get cut, and the next day, I didn't even need a Band-Aid. Now, that cut nags at me for days. They gang up on me. Before one is dispatched, two more have joined the chorus. So much of living is over for me. I will never fall in love again. (My wife wouldn't hear of it.) I will never have another adventure. (The ones I had as a youth scared the bejeezus out of me, anyway.) There is no way I am going to be able to finish a fraction of the projects I have in my mind.

So why do I go on? Why don't I give up? I could live the rest of my life in retirement reading, playing on the computer, and watching television. So why don't I? The answer always comes back to that unidentifiable something in me that won't quit. I think the thing I am proudest of my father for wasn't his heroism as a soldier or his contributions to the health field at NIH. It was the day, when I was a child, that he stood on a family's lawn so that the KKK could not in secrecy burn a cross there. I like to think that, given the same choice, I would stand next to him on that lawn. So how can I let all those little obstacles beat me?

Maybe no one will ever read what I write; I have still written it. Maybe no one will ever know who I am; I am still that person. And I am still here.