Rebecca Reilly's Blog, page 2
July 16, 2014
The Votes Are In
Thank you for your feedback on the Haunting Megan cover design. With 244 votes tallied, the winner was clear. Mary Glass, Christina Wylie, Jennifer Del Bove, Linda Del Bove, and Kim Young were the five whose names were drawn to receive advance copies of the book. Watch Goodreads for another Haunting Megan contest. Release date--September 1.
Check out the cover design winners and losers at http://rebeccareilly.net/?p=407
Check out the cover design winners and losers at http://rebeccareilly.net/?p=407
June 25, 2014
Win an Advance Copy of Haunting Megan
Vote for your favorite cover and sign up for my email list and you will be entered in the drawing. Five signed advance copies will be given away on July 30 (drawing will be held July 15). Go to http://bit.ly/votewinHauntingMegan
Pick your favorite cover, email me from the website, and wait to be haunted!
Haunting Megan Synopsis:
After suffering years of abuse at the hands of her alcoholic mother, Megan wakes to screams, cries of murder, and the room splattered with blood. Sent to the mountains to live with the grandfather who’d once abandoned them, Megan must learn to care for her young sisters and manage Wind Hollow Lodge. Megan tries to ignore the haunting memories of her past as she struggles to live a normal life. But she can’t ignore the ghosts who terrorize her and make her believe her sanity is slipping away. When murdered men are discovered on Wind Hollow land, people start to wonder just how crazy Megan Wilson really is.
The investigation at Wind Hollow Lodge was just another case to Deputy Jason Belt—until he saw Megan. Drawn to her beauty and her wounded spirit, his oath to protect and serve takes on new meaning. But why did she lie to him? What does she have to hide?
Pick your favorite cover, email me from the website, and wait to be haunted!
Haunting Megan Synopsis:
After suffering years of abuse at the hands of her alcoholic mother, Megan wakes to screams, cries of murder, and the room splattered with blood. Sent to the mountains to live with the grandfather who’d once abandoned them, Megan must learn to care for her young sisters and manage Wind Hollow Lodge. Megan tries to ignore the haunting memories of her past as she struggles to live a normal life. But she can’t ignore the ghosts who terrorize her and make her believe her sanity is slipping away. When murdered men are discovered on Wind Hollow land, people start to wonder just how crazy Megan Wilson really is.
The investigation at Wind Hollow Lodge was just another case to Deputy Jason Belt—until he saw Megan. Drawn to her beauty and her wounded spirit, his oath to protect and serve takes on new meaning. But why did she lie to him? What does she have to hide?
April 23, 2014
My Bed Is Too Big!
“In a survey, 1,000 people reported their preferred sleeping positions, and also gave information about their personalities and relationship quality. It turned out that the farther apart people in relationships slept from their partners, the worse they rated their relationships.”
Fabulous. Another thing to worry about. George sleeps far enough away from me we could fit a 200-pound dog between us. Not only that, he sleeps with his back to me and he stuffs a pillow between his legs to protect his private parts from any roaming hands that might wander his way. Does that mean I have to worry about our relationship?
Sure, when we were first married, we spooned while we slept. Of course, at the time we were so poor we couldn’t afford a bed big enough to sleep any other way. But still, it was nice and cozy. And romantic. I miss it.
How did we move so far apart?
Money, I guess, is the first answer. We earned enough to buy that king-sized bed. Suddenly, space to sleep in seemed important. Why should we breathe in each other’s bad breath when we could spread out and only smell our own? Why should my hair tickle George’s nose when all he had to do was turn his back on me and scooch over to avoid it? Why do we need to spontaneously touch in the middle of the night when we could routinely schedule intimacy twice a week whether we felt like it or not?
Time would have to be the second answer. We’re both so busy running from work to chores to kid-stuff to friends to church to bible study to whatever makes us feel busy and productive and self-righteous that we both want to get the most rest out of the time we set aside to sleep. We sleep deeper when we sleep on our own side of the bed. That makes me sad.
Our state of sheer exhaustion leads to more than a separation in our sleep. I am so busy with life that I’m too tired to invest in our relationship. I’m too tired to invest in our sex life. I’m too tired to invest in him.
Did God design us to run from activity to activity, from work to play, from ministry to bible study, from to-do list to to-do list without time to rest? Does our business give us some false sense of holiness or self-righteousness while we neglect our relationship with our spouse?
If we gave up some of our activities, could we give up that space between us at night? I don’t know. After fifteen years of marriage, we’re kind of stuck.
I wonder what George would do if I surprised him one night by getting rid of our king-sized bed and replacing it with a twin?
Written as "Phoebe" from Diary of a Christian Woman: How I Used 50 Shades of Grey to Spice Up My Marriage
Diary of a Christian Woman: How I Used 50 Shades of Grey to Spice Up My Marriage
You can read the article, What Your Sleeping Style Reveals About Your Relationship
By By Agata Blaszczak-Boxe at http://news.yahoo.com/sleeping-style-...
Fabulous. Another thing to worry about. George sleeps far enough away from me we could fit a 200-pound dog between us. Not only that, he sleeps with his back to me and he stuffs a pillow between his legs to protect his private parts from any roaming hands that might wander his way. Does that mean I have to worry about our relationship?
Sure, when we were first married, we spooned while we slept. Of course, at the time we were so poor we couldn’t afford a bed big enough to sleep any other way. But still, it was nice and cozy. And romantic. I miss it.
How did we move so far apart?
Money, I guess, is the first answer. We earned enough to buy that king-sized bed. Suddenly, space to sleep in seemed important. Why should we breathe in each other’s bad breath when we could spread out and only smell our own? Why should my hair tickle George’s nose when all he had to do was turn his back on me and scooch over to avoid it? Why do we need to spontaneously touch in the middle of the night when we could routinely schedule intimacy twice a week whether we felt like it or not?
Time would have to be the second answer. We’re both so busy running from work to chores to kid-stuff to friends to church to bible study to whatever makes us feel busy and productive and self-righteous that we both want to get the most rest out of the time we set aside to sleep. We sleep deeper when we sleep on our own side of the bed. That makes me sad.
Our state of sheer exhaustion leads to more than a separation in our sleep. I am so busy with life that I’m too tired to invest in our relationship. I’m too tired to invest in our sex life. I’m too tired to invest in him.
Did God design us to run from activity to activity, from work to play, from ministry to bible study, from to-do list to to-do list without time to rest? Does our business give us some false sense of holiness or self-righteousness while we neglect our relationship with our spouse?
If we gave up some of our activities, could we give up that space between us at night? I don’t know. After fifteen years of marriage, we’re kind of stuck.
I wonder what George would do if I surprised him one night by getting rid of our king-sized bed and replacing it with a twin?
Written as "Phoebe" from Diary of a Christian Woman: How I Used 50 Shades of Grey to Spice Up My Marriage
Diary of a Christian Woman: How I Used 50 Shades of Grey to Spice Up My Marriage
You can read the article, What Your Sleeping Style Reveals About Your Relationship
By By Agata Blaszczak-Boxe at http://news.yahoo.com/sleeping-style-...
August 31, 2013
You'd Better Learn to Cook, Woman!
In his 1943 book, Sex Today in Wedded Life, Edward Podolsky gives four commandments he believes essential for women who want to be good wives. I discuss the first commandment, DON’T TALK, in my blog “Marriage Advice from the 1950’s” (http://rebeccareilly.net/?p=343).
Today’s tip for the Happy Homemaker: YOU’D BETTER KNOW HOW TO COOK!
In Podolsky’s words, A social service meeting, an afternoon tea, a matinee, a whatnot, is no excuse for there being no dinner ready when a husband comes home from a hard day’s work. Housekeeping accomplishments and cooking ability are, of course, positive essentials. In any true home, a wife should take a reasonable pride in her skill. Happiness does not flourish in an atmosphere of dyspepsia.
Dr. William Josephus Robinson, physician and author of many books including, Love and Comfort in Marriage (1922, Eugenics Publishing Co.) is even more emphatic about a woman’s responsibility to master the stove: Bad cooking is responsible for dyspepsia, dyspepsia is responsible for grouchiness and irritability, grouchiness and irritability lead to quarrels and squabbles. And bad cooking, which is the usual thing in the average American home, has been responsible as much as any other factor for driving the husband to the saloon, and to other places. And when she does cook, she should cook, and not be, as somebody said, a mere can opener.
I’m glad Dr. Robinson never tasted my meatloaf! Of course, I was probably busy wasting my time participating in a whatnot last time I tried to prepare that tasteless treat.
I like to cook. I think preparing a meal, or a plate of anything edible, is a form of artistic expression. I show my love for my husband by sacrificing my time and energy to cook him a meal he enjoys. And I expect him to show his love for me by doing the dishes.
Dr. Robinson and Mr. Poldolsky, in their complete arrogance, have forgotten that marriage is a partnership. They view the institution more as a way the superior man can acquire a willing (and unpaid) servant.
I wonder if Dr. Robinson believed that it was inevitable and acceptable for a man to be grouchy if his dinner was less than adequate. I suppose if a wife caters to her husband’s every need like Robinson and Poldolsky think she should, he would turn into a spoiled brat and have a temper tantrum whenever things didn’t go his way.
Praise God if your marriage is one of mutual respect and shared responsibilities!
In Diary of a Christian Woman, How I Used 50 Shades of Grey to Spice Up My Marriage, Phoebe’s troubles weren’t in the kitchen (George was more than willing to order a pizza). See how she tried to add spice to her sex life at http://bit.ly/diarychristianwoman.
Today’s tip for the Happy Homemaker: YOU’D BETTER KNOW HOW TO COOK!
In Podolsky’s words, A social service meeting, an afternoon tea, a matinee, a whatnot, is no excuse for there being no dinner ready when a husband comes home from a hard day’s work. Housekeeping accomplishments and cooking ability are, of course, positive essentials. In any true home, a wife should take a reasonable pride in her skill. Happiness does not flourish in an atmosphere of dyspepsia.
Dr. William Josephus Robinson, physician and author of many books including, Love and Comfort in Marriage (1922, Eugenics Publishing Co.) is even more emphatic about a woman’s responsibility to master the stove: Bad cooking is responsible for dyspepsia, dyspepsia is responsible for grouchiness and irritability, grouchiness and irritability lead to quarrels and squabbles. And bad cooking, which is the usual thing in the average American home, has been responsible as much as any other factor for driving the husband to the saloon, and to other places. And when she does cook, she should cook, and not be, as somebody said, a mere can opener.
I’m glad Dr. Robinson never tasted my meatloaf! Of course, I was probably busy wasting my time participating in a whatnot last time I tried to prepare that tasteless treat.
I like to cook. I think preparing a meal, or a plate of anything edible, is a form of artistic expression. I show my love for my husband by sacrificing my time and energy to cook him a meal he enjoys. And I expect him to show his love for me by doing the dishes.
Dr. Robinson and Mr. Poldolsky, in their complete arrogance, have forgotten that marriage is a partnership. They view the institution more as a way the superior man can acquire a willing (and unpaid) servant.
I wonder if Dr. Robinson believed that it was inevitable and acceptable for a man to be grouchy if his dinner was less than adequate. I suppose if a wife caters to her husband’s every need like Robinson and Poldolsky think she should, he would turn into a spoiled brat and have a temper tantrum whenever things didn’t go his way.
Praise God if your marriage is one of mutual respect and shared responsibilities!
In Diary of a Christian Woman, How I Used 50 Shades of Grey to Spice Up My Marriage, Phoebe’s troubles weren’t in the kitchen (George was more than willing to order a pizza). See how she tried to add spice to her sex life at http://bit.ly/diarychristianwoman.
August 17, 2013
Are Any Writing Topics Taboo for a Pastor?
I have been in ministry for over thirty years. I’ve preached Sunday morning sermons, been a children’s pastor, an outreach pastor, and a youth pastor. My favorite age to work with is junior high--some people think that makes me certifiably insane.
When I chose to right frankly about sexual bondage and role play games (Diary of a Christian Woman: How I used 50 Shades of Grey to Spice Up My Marriage), several people I know raised their eyebrows and pursed their lips. “Hmmm. Don’t you think you might cause someone to stumble?”
I’m not sure how to answer that question. How can I know what causes other people to stumble? My motives for writing Diary of a Christian Woman were to entertain and to help open up dialogue and deepen intimacy between couples. If that makes someone uncomfortable, then they probably shouldn’t read the book.
I had no lofty goals for writing my second adult book, Into Dark Waters. I wrote the type of book I like to read when I have a few minutes to myself. There’s a lot of sin happening in Into Dark Waters--adultery, rape, murder (all tastefully done, of course). Who knows more about the consequence of sin than a pastor?
I don’t write anything that I think is wrong to write (that sentence sounds strange to the ears!). If my conscience gives me problems--then I don’t write it. My conscience may be very different than your conscience, though. That’s where personal responsibility comes in. I take care of my conscience; you take care of yours.
Here’s how I look at it:
I love Rocky Road Ice Cream, but I can’t eat it. I am a diabetic, and it’ll hurt me. It doesn’t harm my husband, though. He can eat it by the gallon; he doesn’t gain weight, and his blood sugar remains level. We’re all different. I don’t judge him for it--I’m glad he can grab that special joy in life. I could moan and complain and tell him he’d causing me to stumble, but that would just take his joy away—pretty selfish of me.
My adult books are that--adult. I do not want my junior high students reading them (I write for children under Becky Reilly). I may be naïve, but I expect parents to take an active hand in helping their children decide what is appropriate to read and what is not.
My core beliefs will come out in my writing—no matter what genre I am exploring. I believe that life is often ugly, but love should prevail. Actions have consequences—many of them bad. Truth/God can be found in many places and things, and the choices we make are not as black and white as we’d like to think they are.
I also believe a good book can help a soul heal.
We read for a variety of excellent reasons--to be entertained, to gain knowledge, to take a break from life, and even to spark our own creativity.
Write what springs from within you.
Read what satisfies your present need.
Honor God in all you do.
Rebecca Reilly is a pastor and author. Her book, Diary of a Christian Woman: How I Used 50 Shades of Grey to Spice Up My Marriage is raising eyebrows, creating laugh wrinkles, and opening up dialogue between husbands and wives. Available on Amazon: http://bit.ly/diarychristianwoman
When I chose to right frankly about sexual bondage and role play games (Diary of a Christian Woman: How I used 50 Shades of Grey to Spice Up My Marriage), several people I know raised their eyebrows and pursed their lips. “Hmmm. Don’t you think you might cause someone to stumble?”
I’m not sure how to answer that question. How can I know what causes other people to stumble? My motives for writing Diary of a Christian Woman were to entertain and to help open up dialogue and deepen intimacy between couples. If that makes someone uncomfortable, then they probably shouldn’t read the book.
I had no lofty goals for writing my second adult book, Into Dark Waters. I wrote the type of book I like to read when I have a few minutes to myself. There’s a lot of sin happening in Into Dark Waters--adultery, rape, murder (all tastefully done, of course). Who knows more about the consequence of sin than a pastor?
I don’t write anything that I think is wrong to write (that sentence sounds strange to the ears!). If my conscience gives me problems--then I don’t write it. My conscience may be very different than your conscience, though. That’s where personal responsibility comes in. I take care of my conscience; you take care of yours.
Here’s how I look at it:
I love Rocky Road Ice Cream, but I can’t eat it. I am a diabetic, and it’ll hurt me. It doesn’t harm my husband, though. He can eat it by the gallon; he doesn’t gain weight, and his blood sugar remains level. We’re all different. I don’t judge him for it--I’m glad he can grab that special joy in life. I could moan and complain and tell him he’d causing me to stumble, but that would just take his joy away—pretty selfish of me.
My adult books are that--adult. I do not want my junior high students reading them (I write for children under Becky Reilly). I may be naïve, but I expect parents to take an active hand in helping their children decide what is appropriate to read and what is not.
My core beliefs will come out in my writing—no matter what genre I am exploring. I believe that life is often ugly, but love should prevail. Actions have consequences—many of them bad. Truth/God can be found in many places and things, and the choices we make are not as black and white as we’d like to think they are.
I also believe a good book can help a soul heal.
We read for a variety of excellent reasons--to be entertained, to gain knowledge, to take a break from life, and even to spark our own creativity.
Write what springs from within you.
Read what satisfies your present need.
Honor God in all you do.
Rebecca Reilly is a pastor and author. Her book, Diary of a Christian Woman: How I Used 50 Shades of Grey to Spice Up My Marriage is raising eyebrows, creating laugh wrinkles, and opening up dialogue between husbands and wives. Available on Amazon: http://bit.ly/diarychristianwoman
Marriage Advice from the 1950′s
Tips for Women to Keep Their Marriage Strong and Their Husband Happy
The Week wrote a lovely article based on "How to be a Good Wife" by Edward Podolsky (written in 1943).
(http://theweek.com/article/index/2481...)
I’m going to look at Mr. Podolsky’s tips for a happy marriage one enlightening comment at a time.
Today’s Tip from Mr. Podolsky: Don't talk
Don't bother your husband with petty troubles and complaints when he comes home from work.
Be a good listener. Let him tell you his troubles; yours will seem trivial in comparison.
Remember your most important job is to build up and maintain his ego (which gets bruised plenty in business). Morale is a woman's business.
Let him relax before dinner. Discuss family problems after the inner man has been satisfied.
In his 1951 book, Sex Satisfaction and Happy Marriage, Reverend Alfred Henry Tyrer has more to add to that. Do not ask for things. This is called "nagging":
I verily believe that the happiness of homes is destroyed more frequently by the habit of nagging than by any other one. A man may stand that sort of thing (nagging) for a long time, but the chances are against his standing it permanently. If he needs peace to make life bearable, he will have to look for it elsewhere than in his own house. And it is quite likely that he will look.
Unless your husband wants you to talk. Then don't you dare disappoint him. Says Reverend Tyrer:
"If [the husband] is intellectually inclined, and from time to time seeks to explain little things to her so that she may have at least a bare knowledge of what it is that interests him, and, without the slightest comment, she takes up again the fashion magazine she laid down when he commenced to speak, we may be pretty sure that there is going to be a 'rift in the lute' sooner or later in that house."
What would a woman with only a few, trivial problems and an incredibly small intellect have to talk about anyway? Yes, I see, it’s in the last paragraph--fashion. No wonder we bore our husbands into leaving us!
This Neanderthal view of women is so out there, it’s difficult to believe anyone would take this seriously, but they did. And in some cultures, they still do. Sometimes women view themselves as ungifted, unworthy, subservient beings.
Sadly, the church can be one culture that subtly encourages this way of thinking.
I believe I should serve my husband. I believe I should strive to meet his social, physical, intellectual, and other needs.
I also believe my husband needs to strive to meet my needs in the same way. We are partners, not dominant and subservient. He respects my opinion and weighs my advice. He also does the laundry and the shopping while I do the cooking and handle anything that needs power tools.
And I am rarely silent.
Called and Gifted is a pamphlet put out by the Covenant Church that discusses the value and equality of women. Here is a excerpt:
Most importantly, Jesus Christ came to fully redeem all people, women as well as men. Paul emphasizes that all who believe in Christ are redeemed from sin and become new creations. Not only do we who believe become the children of God, and equal heirs, but we also become one in Christ. These blessings come through our faith in Christ, independent of our racial, social, physical, or gender distinctions (John 1:12-13; Romans 8:14-17; 2 Corinthians 5:17; Galatians 3:26-28).
In the world, characteristics such as “maleness” or “femaleness” function as primary markers of personal definition and are used to assign rank, status, and worth. In Christ, we are instead defined by being a new creation in Christ. As a result of becoming a new creation, a believer’s primary identity is his or her new life in Christ. Our old identities—those of gender, race, or social class—become secondary to our true identity in Christ. In our culture, like that of Jesus and Paul, maleness and female¬ness matter. But our beliefs and practices ought not to be determined by earthly cultures, as our citizenship is in heaven (Philippians 3:20).
You can read the complete article here:
http://www.covchurch.org/resources/fi...
Rebecca Reilly is a pastor and author. Her book, Diary of a Christian Woman: How I Used 50 Shades of Grey to Spice Up My Marriage is raising eyebrows, creating laugh wrinkles, and opening up dialogue between husbands and wives. Available on Amazon: http://bit.ly/diarychristianwoman
The Week wrote a lovely article based on "How to be a Good Wife" by Edward Podolsky (written in 1943).
(http://theweek.com/article/index/2481...)
I’m going to look at Mr. Podolsky’s tips for a happy marriage one enlightening comment at a time.
Today’s Tip from Mr. Podolsky: Don't talk
Don't bother your husband with petty troubles and complaints when he comes home from work.
Be a good listener. Let him tell you his troubles; yours will seem trivial in comparison.
Remember your most important job is to build up and maintain his ego (which gets bruised plenty in business). Morale is a woman's business.
Let him relax before dinner. Discuss family problems after the inner man has been satisfied.
In his 1951 book, Sex Satisfaction and Happy Marriage, Reverend Alfred Henry Tyrer has more to add to that. Do not ask for things. This is called "nagging":
I verily believe that the happiness of homes is destroyed more frequently by the habit of nagging than by any other one. A man may stand that sort of thing (nagging) for a long time, but the chances are against his standing it permanently. If he needs peace to make life bearable, he will have to look for it elsewhere than in his own house. And it is quite likely that he will look.
Unless your husband wants you to talk. Then don't you dare disappoint him. Says Reverend Tyrer:
"If [the husband] is intellectually inclined, and from time to time seeks to explain little things to her so that she may have at least a bare knowledge of what it is that interests him, and, without the slightest comment, she takes up again the fashion magazine she laid down when he commenced to speak, we may be pretty sure that there is going to be a 'rift in the lute' sooner or later in that house."
What would a woman with only a few, trivial problems and an incredibly small intellect have to talk about anyway? Yes, I see, it’s in the last paragraph--fashion. No wonder we bore our husbands into leaving us!
This Neanderthal view of women is so out there, it’s difficult to believe anyone would take this seriously, but they did. And in some cultures, they still do. Sometimes women view themselves as ungifted, unworthy, subservient beings.
Sadly, the church can be one culture that subtly encourages this way of thinking.
I believe I should serve my husband. I believe I should strive to meet his social, physical, intellectual, and other needs.
I also believe my husband needs to strive to meet my needs in the same way. We are partners, not dominant and subservient. He respects my opinion and weighs my advice. He also does the laundry and the shopping while I do the cooking and handle anything that needs power tools.
And I am rarely silent.
Called and Gifted is a pamphlet put out by the Covenant Church that discusses the value and equality of women. Here is a excerpt:
Most importantly, Jesus Christ came to fully redeem all people, women as well as men. Paul emphasizes that all who believe in Christ are redeemed from sin and become new creations. Not only do we who believe become the children of God, and equal heirs, but we also become one in Christ. These blessings come through our faith in Christ, independent of our racial, social, physical, or gender distinctions (John 1:12-13; Romans 8:14-17; 2 Corinthians 5:17; Galatians 3:26-28).
In the world, characteristics such as “maleness” or “femaleness” function as primary markers of personal definition and are used to assign rank, status, and worth. In Christ, we are instead defined by being a new creation in Christ. As a result of becoming a new creation, a believer’s primary identity is his or her new life in Christ. Our old identities—those of gender, race, or social class—become secondary to our true identity in Christ. In our culture, like that of Jesus and Paul, maleness and female¬ness matter. But our beliefs and practices ought not to be determined by earthly cultures, as our citizenship is in heaven (Philippians 3:20).
You can read the complete article here:
http://www.covchurch.org/resources/fi...
Rebecca Reilly is a pastor and author. Her book, Diary of a Christian Woman: How I Used 50 Shades of Grey to Spice Up My Marriage is raising eyebrows, creating laugh wrinkles, and opening up dialogue between husbands and wives. Available on Amazon: http://bit.ly/diarychristianwoman
