Rebecca Reilly's Blog - Posts Tagged "christian-marriage"
What Is the Difference Between Sex and Christian Sex?
Is there such a thing as spicy in "Christian" sex??
What is the difference between Christian sex and non-Christian sex?
It made me very happy to find these questions on a post about my new book, Christian Sex and Marriage—It’s Complicated.
The short answers are simple:
Yes—there is a difference between Christian sex and non-Christian sex.
Yes—Christian sex can (and should) be very spicy.
Difference Number 1—Many Christians Suffer from Shame, Guilt, Fear, and Failure in the bedroom (I realize living in other subcultures that repress sexuality have these problems, too)
If you were brought up in the church, chances are you heard hundreds of teachings about the evils of premarital sex. You also learned that if you abstain from having sex before marriage, you’d be blessed with amazing sex from your wedding night on. The combination of these and other Christian culture norms puts so much pressure on couples that sex drives can be repressed. Shame, guilt, and fear block the joy that God desires for us in our married sex lives.
Here’s an excerpt from Diary of a Christian Woman: How I Used 50 Shades of Grey To Spice Up My Marriage to illustrate how many Christians feel:
The first few chapters of Christian Sex and Marriage: It’s Complicated address the mindset of believers. To be intimate and free in the bedroom, Christians need to understand that God created our bodies to enjoy sex. Intercourse is a tool to deepen physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy. Guilt has no place. Shame needs to disappear. Intimacy must release fear.
Difference Number Two—Christians Have the Power to Invite God Into Their Marriage and Bedroom
Though that puts a weird picture in your head, God desires complete unity for His children, and a great sex life is one way to help accomplish that. God designed all the hormones and nerve endings that make our bodies tingle and burn with desire. It is ridiculous to repress what God gave us to enjoy. Furthermore, we enjoy it most when we follow His instruction manual. When God takes part in all aspects of marriage, making love takes on a new and deeper meaning.
Is there such a thing as spicy in "Christian" sex??
Christian Sex and Marriage: It's ComplicatedThe very nature of this question illustrates the complete lack of understanding Christians and non-Christians have about sex. We are free to enjoy, free to express, and free to experiment within the bounds of our marriage. Christians, more than any other culture, should have the most exciting, vital, and spicy sex because God is a part of our marriages. Our intimacy should be deeper. Our trust should be stronger. Our sex lives more fulfilling because we know the character of the One who created it.
Christian Sex and Marriage—It’s Complicated answers both these questions with the added bonus of activity suggestions, testimonies, self-evaluation, and more. Pre-order today! http://rebeccareilly.net/?page_id=530
Diary of A Christian—How I Used 50 Shades of Grey To Spice Up My Marriage is a fiction humor novella that shares one woman’s struggle to spice up her sex life. http://bit.ly/amazondiary
What is the difference between Christian sex and non-Christian sex?
It made me very happy to find these questions on a post about my new book, Christian Sex and Marriage—It’s Complicated.
The short answers are simple:
Yes—there is a difference between Christian sex and non-Christian sex.
Yes—Christian sex can (and should) be very spicy.
Difference Number 1—Many Christians Suffer from Shame, Guilt, Fear, and Failure in the bedroom (I realize living in other subcultures that repress sexuality have these problems, too)
If you were brought up in the church, chances are you heard hundreds of teachings about the evils of premarital sex. You also learned that if you abstain from having sex before marriage, you’d be blessed with amazing sex from your wedding night on. The combination of these and other Christian culture norms puts so much pressure on couples that sex drives can be repressed. Shame, guilt, and fear block the joy that God desires for us in our married sex lives.
Here’s an excerpt from Diary of a Christian Woman: How I Used 50 Shades of Grey To Spice Up My Marriage to illustrate how many Christians feel:
We both wore white at our wedding and considered it a badge of honor. We had done it God’s way, and we were arrogantly sure our coupling would be blessed.
Instead, the wedding night was a bust.
It’s not that we couldn’t figure out what to put where (we weren’t completely stupid), but our expectations were so high, that when fireworks didn’t explode in our room, we went to sleep disappointed.
That didn’t mean we stopped trying, of course--we’d waited decades to experience sexual fever in the flesh! We knew we’d get fireworks eventually, so we kept pounding away.
By the third day of our marriage, I couldn’t walk and George’s manhood was covered with friction blisters.
I came home from our honeymoon thinking we’d never have sex again.
I was wrong. After giving ourselves a few more days to heal, George whipped out his Bible and got my juices going again.
We even got creative; I got on top.
We found our rhythm and have kept at it for nineteen years.
But I think there’s supposed to be more.
The first few chapters of Christian Sex and Marriage: It’s Complicated address the mindset of believers. To be intimate and free in the bedroom, Christians need to understand that God created our bodies to enjoy sex. Intercourse is a tool to deepen physical, emotional, and spiritual intimacy. Guilt has no place. Shame needs to disappear. Intimacy must release fear.
Difference Number Two—Christians Have the Power to Invite God Into Their Marriage and Bedroom
Though that puts a weird picture in your head, God desires complete unity for His children, and a great sex life is one way to help accomplish that. God designed all the hormones and nerve endings that make our bodies tingle and burn with desire. It is ridiculous to repress what God gave us to enjoy. Furthermore, we enjoy it most when we follow His instruction manual. When God takes part in all aspects of marriage, making love takes on a new and deeper meaning.
Is there such a thing as spicy in "Christian" sex??
Christian Sex and Marriage: It's ComplicatedThe very nature of this question illustrates the complete lack of understanding Christians and non-Christians have about sex. We are free to enjoy, free to express, and free to experiment within the bounds of our marriage. Christians, more than any other culture, should have the most exciting, vital, and spicy sex because God is a part of our marriages. Our intimacy should be deeper. Our trust should be stronger. Our sex lives more fulfilling because we know the character of the One who created it.
Christian Sex and Marriage—It’s Complicated answers both these questions with the added bonus of activity suggestions, testimonies, self-evaluation, and more. Pre-order today! http://rebeccareilly.net/?page_id=530
Diary of A Christian—How I Used 50 Shades of Grey To Spice Up My Marriage is a fiction humor novella that shares one woman’s struggle to spice up her sex life. http://bit.ly/amazondiary
