D.E. Haggerty's Blog, page 99
March 7, 2014
The Contradiction that is Istanbul
The Contradiction that is Istanbul
There are probably a zillion other things that people first notice about Istanbul.
February 14, 2014
Indie Blog Hop
Indie Blog Hop
Even though the title of this article, Indie Blog Hop, for some reason makes me want to dance around and do the
Even though the title of this article, Indie Blog Hop, for some reason makes me want to dance around and do the
November 22, 2013
10 Things I learned in the Military
Publishing Unforeseen Consequences, which includes actual events of my time in the U.S. Army, has brought back a lot of
November 12, 2013
10 Ways to ensure you don’t get the job
Rumor has it that there are times when you have to apply to a job that you don’t actually want. For example, if you just
November 4, 2013
10 Things that Drive me Crazy on Twitter
I am by no means an expert on the use of social media. Although I have three twitter accounts (two of which I no longer use)
October 18, 2013
It’s Friday so be happy. Wait, what?
If you don’t live in a cave (assuming your cave doesn’t have WiFi), then you know about social media. If you are on social
October 12, 2013
Bad review? Ugh! What to do?
My first book review wasn’t just bad, it was earth-shattering, life-altering hideous. And I didn’t even read it! The
October 7, 2013
Hospitality is not for me
A few years ago we (I say we but you know who does all the work.. ahem) started the Bed & Breakfast. Since then, I like
10 Things I Learned from Romance Novels
Usually I’m a big reader of autobiographies, biographies, non-fiction history, and all other snobby-type books. But after a
September 29, 2013
10 Things I've Learned from Romance Novels
Usually I’m a big reader of autobiographies, biographies, non-fiction history, and all other snobby-type books. But after a 12-hour workday sometimes I just want to forget who I am and pretend to be someone younger, prettier, sexier, etc., etc. So yeah, I read romance novels to relax. There! I’ve admitted it. Go ahead and mock me. Because you are too pretentious to read romance novels, I thought I’d share what I’ve learned from them.
1. There are a lot of 20-something billionaires out there.
I sure as hell wish I knew this when I was younger but apparently it’s true. There are self-made billionaires literally EVERYWHERE. Now go out and find one!
2. Virgins do it better
Not only are there are ton of virgins attending a college near you but once they lose their V-cards they are fucking phenomenal in bed. They are multi-orgasmic and on the first try as well!
3. Bad boys are deep
It turns out that bad boys aren’t, well, bad. No, they are just misunderstood. Aaahhhh
4. BDSM is happening
When I was a young 20-something, I didn’t even know what BDSM meant. And to be honest I’m just guessing now as well. Anyway, everyone’s doing it so go ahead and get your BDSM do-it-yourself kit at Amazon. You know you want to.
5. Motorcycles are hot.
Enough said. And really I didn’t learn this from reading romance novels I just like to take every opportunity I have to talk about Harleys (so sue me I went to college in Milwaukee).
6. Everything’s better with a piercing
Nipple piercing is just so 20th century. If you want to be in the now, you need an ampallang. I just looked that up on Wikipedia and literally fell off my chair with shock and mirth. Yes, I’m an adult.
7. Tattoos are hot, hot, hot
I’m so caught up in the tatted and beautiful that I’m even considering getting one. Well, as long as no one can actually see it of course.
8. Everyone is skinny and beautiful
Obviously the writers of romance novels do not shop at my grocery store.
9. All men are players until they met the ‘one’
And just like that, they are no longer man whores but loyal puppy dogs that would do anything to win their girl. (I think I threw up in my mouth a little on that.)
10. E-readers make erotica available to the masses
So we all know you got the e-reader so you could read Fifty Shades of Grey without anyone catching on but unfortunately not everyone has one yet. I was at the Dubai airport last year and saw a woman sitting at the coffee shop in her burqa reading a paperback copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. Can we assume hubby doesn’t speak English?
Ok. Two more because I just can’t resist.
11. Women always wear sexy underwear
Remember that virgin we were talking about? Yep, even she’s wearing silk and lace. Also important to note: it’s super easy to tear those sexy undies off.
12. Tidy whities are a thing of the past
Thank God for that.
1. There are a lot of 20-something billionaires out there.
I sure as hell wish I knew this when I was younger but apparently it’s true. There are self-made billionaires literally EVERYWHERE. Now go out and find one!
2. Virgins do it better
Not only are there are ton of virgins attending a college near you but once they lose their V-cards they are fucking phenomenal in bed. They are multi-orgasmic and on the first try as well!
3. Bad boys are deep
It turns out that bad boys aren’t, well, bad. No, they are just misunderstood. Aaahhhh
4. BDSM is happening
When I was a young 20-something, I didn’t even know what BDSM meant. And to be honest I’m just guessing now as well. Anyway, everyone’s doing it so go ahead and get your BDSM do-it-yourself kit at Amazon. You know you want to.
5. Motorcycles are hot.
Enough said. And really I didn’t learn this from reading romance novels I just like to take every opportunity I have to talk about Harleys (so sue me I went to college in Milwaukee).
6. Everything’s better with a piercing
Nipple piercing is just so 20th century. If you want to be in the now, you need an ampallang. I just looked that up on Wikipedia and literally fell off my chair with shock and mirth. Yes, I’m an adult.
7. Tattoos are hot, hot, hot
I’m so caught up in the tatted and beautiful that I’m even considering getting one. Well, as long as no one can actually see it of course.
8. Everyone is skinny and beautiful
Obviously the writers of romance novels do not shop at my grocery store.
9. All men are players until they met the ‘one’
And just like that, they are no longer man whores but loyal puppy dogs that would do anything to win their girl. (I think I threw up in my mouth a little on that.)
10. E-readers make erotica available to the masses
So we all know you got the e-reader so you could read Fifty Shades of Grey without anyone catching on but unfortunately not everyone has one yet. I was at the Dubai airport last year and saw a woman sitting at the coffee shop in her burqa reading a paperback copy of Fifty Shades of Grey. Can we assume hubby doesn’t speak English?
Ok. Two more because I just can’t resist.
11. Women always wear sexy underwear
Remember that virgin we were talking about? Yep, even she’s wearing silk and lace. Also important to note: it’s super easy to tear those sexy undies off.
12. Tidy whities are a thing of the past
Thank God for that.
