Averil Dean's Blog, page 23

Someone

Look out your back window or door — describe what you see, as if you were trying to convey the scene to someone from another country or planet.

We live on a biggish piece of land at a bend in the road, in a ranch house built in the 70s. The patio is mossy and crumbling a bit, and a mole has been hard at work at the edge of the concrete—a fact which is driving my dog slowly insane. We have a raggedy lawn surrounded by overgrown rhododendrons, an apple tree, and several unidentified shrubs. Two...

Wonderland

Which subject in school did you find impossible to master? Did math give you hives? Did English make you scream? Do tell!

Yeah, math. The reason it frustrated me so badly was because it seemed like it should be easy. Just plug the numbers into the formula and follow the rules, and everything will come out okay. Only it never did! As carefully as I worked my equations, the result always seemed to be wrong. I remember sitting in front of my notebook once, sobbing my heart out because the numbers...

Zin

If you could return to the past to relive a part of your life, either to experience the wonderful bits again, or to do something over, which part of your life would you return to? Why?

This is one of those Monkey’s Paw questions that makes me wary. Every life is marred by unhappy events that change the course of things, and the temptation is to get behind them and avoid. I had one of those yesterday, when my husband fell out of his rig and broke his arm. I’d warn him if I could: Don’t jump bac...

Groove

It makes me crazy when people wear their shoes in my house. What habit/act drives you crazy? How do you prevent it from happening?

This question reminds me of a label we used to have in the bathroom at work: PLEASE HANG TOILET PAPER IN THE WATERFALL POSITION. My coworker and I would roll our eyes at that. OCD much? But the sign isn’t there anymore. On her last day of work, my cohort peeled off the label and stuck it under my keyboard, and we tittered like children at her boldness.

I am not driv...

Creed

Have you got a code you live by? What are the principles or set of values you actively apply in your life?

Just one, a line from Hamlet. It doesn’t mean for me what it meant to Polonius, so maybe I’ve already bent it out of shape in that special, new-agey way we do when searching for a personal creed. But here it is, for what it’s worth. Truncated and T-shirt ready:

To thine own self be true.

Cradle

Got a soul-mate and/or a best friend? What is it about that person that you love best? Describe them in great detail — leave no important quality out.

Six feet tall. Sandy brown hair, brown eyes. Tiny charming gap between his front teeth and a voice so deep it barely registers to the human ear. Wide shoulders perfectly level at the collarbone. Nose which has been broken at least once and gives him a profile fit for the head of a coin. Thick forearms. Big strong hands, perfect for opening stubb...

Red Lines

We all feel down from time to time. How do you combat the blues? What’s one tip you can share with others that always helps to lift your spirits?

Gin?

Sorry, low-hanging fruit, but then I’ve never been much of a one for the sort of plucky affirmation that seems to be called for here. I’m more of a wallower. I get quiet, withdraw, and wait it out, and I try not to inflict damage on myself or anyone else during the down time. I don’t attempt to talk myself out of what I’m feeling. Periods of mela...

Humbug

Are you full of confidence or have you ever suffered from imposter syndrome? Tell us all about it.

Photo by Ellen Von Unwerth

Zig-Zag

Do you believe in fate or do you believe you can control your own destiny?

This question seems to imply that one or the other of these is true. I suppose an argument could be made for certain theories of time that suggest past, present, and future exist in some cosmic location already, and only consciousness is fluid. Maybe everything happens for a reason and the reason is that the future requires it. A scientist might be able to apply a theory of space-time to a life philosophy in a way that...

Amber

What are the three most memorable moments — good or bad, happy or sad — in your life? Go!

I’m not sure a life can be distilled to a top three this way. I have three children and I remember each of their births in vivid detail—except for my daughter’s actual delivery, during which I was unconscious. I remember my father’s death. The love in my husband’s face when we took our vows. The main events loom large because of the importance we place on them at the time, and the way we return to them o...