S.R. Karfelt's Blog, page 4

January 20, 2022

My Dizzy Dizzy Life—Part Three

 



On the other side of chronic vertigo
After twenty years of vertigo I'm trying to adjust to life through a new lens. It's straighter. I've noticed that in my photographs over the past many years, that I always have my head tilted slightly. Apparently I was trying to physically help my off-balance brain see straighter. Since completing BPPV therapy with a Doctor who specializes in VRT, Vestibular Rehab Therapy, I've tried to stop doing that. I've automatically stopped shuffling my feet like I've done for years, possibly decades. When I walk down the hallway, I don't have to run my hands over the wall. In the bathroom in the dark I still occasionally touch the counter, touch the door, touch the wall, centering myself. Now, it's more of a habit than a necessity. I'm just making sure.
When standing off-balance I'd never keep my feet close together, instead keeping them far apart. The better to spread out my center of gravity and keep my balance. It didn't stick out as much as occasionally staggering when you're simply standing in place. My brain had learned well that gravity isn't to be trusted and neither is my vestibular system. I've completed weeks of exercises to encourage my brain to trust it. I don't think it's entirely on board. Maybe if you tease your brain for twenty years, you lose credibility. 
At this point though I've graduated from my VRT rehab, I'm still working on physical therapy exercises to teach myself it's okay to turn my head suddenly. It still doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel safe. I keep testing myself, and will turn my head suddenly trying to catch the world wobbling. So far it hasn't wobbled. I know it might, I know that my BPPV can and probably will come back. I also know what to do if it does. It helps that I also know that if it's really bad, that I can call my VRT specialist doctor and she'll help. At least once though, when a bit of vertigo kicked up, I righted it myself. It felt incredible to know how to do that.
What a crazy mad skill to have
Something else I learned is that you don't want to do an Epley Maneuver every day, "just in case". That can mess everything up. Especially since I have it in both ears. There's a science to keeping loose crystals in check. As my VRT doctor said to me many times, trust the process. She also encourages me to push my comfort zone now, to turn my head just because, to quickly look up and down. My goal is (this is nuts and I'm aware of that) to roll down a grassy hill with my favorite four-year-old next summer. I did it once last summer while still living with chronic vertigo. In a fit of half-madness I thought I'm not letting vertigo control my life! So I rolled down a little hill with Four. 
Holy effing tornadoes in my brain I think I may have rolled into another dimension 
When we stopped rolling at the bottom of the hill, my brain was still going round and round. Four was chatting away and onto the next game while I was 100% sure that my entire brain had come loose and that maybe my whole vertigo problem all along was that my brain wasn't attached properly like everyone else's. Maybe it literally does just float and bob in my head like I long suspected. I bribed her with whatever TV show she wanted to watch so we could go inside and I could sit and not move my head. 
Still, I want to try it again someday. I'm feeling much more grounded but today is not the rolling down the hill day. I'm still at the part where I sit, focusing on something across the room, stand and spin, and refocus on the same spot, before sitting and doing it again and again. It's something I try to do faster and faster. There are other exercises, but I'm getting used to them. They don't bother me. I keep my balance. It's amazing. I'm taking walks outside in the dark again, without my giant Gandalf-like walking stick! 
I'm hopeful that I'll have far more normal days than dizzy days. 
The VRT doctor told me that nothing I can do to my ears will cause BPPV (Benign Paroxysmal Positional Vertigo). I can't wait to swim underwater in the summer. It's been a long time! I've been the most cautious snorkeler for a very long time. One thing she warned me about was that flying can set it off. My annual trip to Greece is one long journey. This year it took me four days to get to the little island I go to. Yes, I did get vertigo there, and again after returning home. So I'll be apprehensive about it, but I'll go anyway. At least now I know how to diagnose which ear is affected and I can perform the Epley Maneuver on myself. If both ears are affected, that's when I video call the doctor. 
What about the migraine with aura I've had since 2001? It's still there. My eyes are light sensitive more often than they're not. There's a host of odd visual disturbances that anything from a sunny day to walking into a store with certain types of lighting can kick off. Working out or opening the oven door can change my body temperature fast enough for a migraine to start. Sound can do it. Migraines come and go. I've never been able to figure out why every time. Sometimes they just happen. My hope is that not having to live with chronic dizziness will help my sensitive migraine brain settle down. Maybe I'll get less of them. Time will tell. 
My VRT doctor told me that her theory is that migraines follow vertigo due to the strain on your brain. It's tough to maneuver the world when you're always off balance. When I started therapy she had me take a test about my dizziness. It was the first time I'd ever been asked these questions, relevant questions, questions that cover what it's really like to have vertigo. I practically cried. Finally I knew I was in the right place. The first few questions on the test were the first few things I told every single medical person I saw back in 2001, twenty years ago. At that time those remarks seemed to lead doctors to jump to the conclusion that I had depression. I didn't. As I've said time and again I had anxiety. Try living in a body that spins all the time and see if you don't get anxious. But I think it was the spinning that came first. 
Dizziness Handicap Inventory Questionnaire  (Rehabilitation Medical Clinic Info)                                                                                                                                                                      

Instructions: The purpose of this scale is to identify difficulties that you may be experiencing because of your dizziness.  Please check “always”, or “no” or“sometimes” to each question. Answer each question only as it pertains to your dizziness problem.

 

 

Questions

Always

Sometimes

No

P1

Does looking up increase your problem?

 

 

 

E2

Because of your problem, do you feel frustrated?

 

 

 

F3

Because of your problem, do you restrict your travel for business or pleasure?

 

 

 

P4

Does walking down the aisle of a supermarket increase your problem?

 

 

 

F5

Because of your problem, do you have difficulty getting into or out of bed?

 

 

 

F6

Does your problem significantly restrict your participation in social activities, such as going out to dinner, going to movies, dancing or to parties?

 

 

 

F7

Because of your problem, do you have difficulty reading?

 

 

 

F8

Does performing more ambitious activities like sports, dancing, and household chores, such as sweeping or putting dishes away; increase your problem?

 

 

 

E9

Because of your problem, are you afraid to leave your home without having someone accompany you?

 

 

 

E10

Because of your problem, have you been embarrassed in front of others?

 

 

 

P11

Do quick movements of your head increase your problem?

 

 

 

F12

Because of your problem, do you avoid heights?

 

 

 

P13

Does turning over in bed increase your problem?

 

 

 

F14

Because of your problem, is it difficult for you to do strenuous housework or yard work?

 

 

 

E15

Because of your problem, are you afraid people may think that you are intoxicated?

 

 

 

F16

Because of your problem, is it difficult for you to go for a walk by yourself?

 

 

 

P17

Does walking down a sidewalk increase your problem?

 

 

 

E18

Because of your problem, is it difficult for you to concentrate?

 

 

 

F19

Because of your problem, is it difficult for you to walk around your house in the dark?

 

 

 

E20

Because of your problem, are you afraid to stay home alone?

 

 

 

E21

Because of your problem, do you feel handicapped?

 

 

 

E22

Has your problem placed stress on your relationship with members of your family or friends?

 

 

 

E23

Because of your problem, are you depressed?

 

 

 

F24

Does your problem interfere with your job or household responsibilities?

 

 

 

P25

Does bending over increase your problem?

 

 

 



Yes, yes, yes, all of it
My goal in sharing my long vertigo story with you is to help other people with vertigo. Please keep in mind that if you have vertigo often and doctors haven't helped you, it's possible that you need a vestibular specialist. What if some of your dizzy problems can be helped? Or fixed even? I also want to share my good news in a time when good news seems so scarce. I'd like to commiserate too, on how difficult it is to find the medical help you need. Especially right now when so many people desperately need help. If you're like me and trying to endure another bout of vertigo like I've done so many times, you just might be up at night, searching on your phone, trying to figure out what the heck this chronically recurring and random spinning is! What I'd say to you is if you're not getting answers maybe it's time to ask for a referral to a doctor who specializes in VRT. Vestibular Rehab Therapy. Don't wait for answers that might help you lead a more grounded life. 
And guess what? Guess who has been going sledding at night under a full moon lately? This chick that's who. I'm putting my new and improved vestibular system to good use and it feels incredible. 



My Dizzy Dizzy Life—Part I
My Dizzy Dizzy Life—Part II







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Published on January 20, 2022 13:49

January 1, 2022

My Dizzy Dizzy Life, Part II




Could there be a happy ending?

After twenty years of living with chronic vertigo, I found something that can potentially stop an attack and I'm not trying to sell you anything. It just took me this long to find someone who could help me. My symptoms are random bouts of extreme vertigo and regular days ranging from slightly off-balance to not driving because of it.

There are degrees and categories of dizzy

There are variations of dizzy. I'm basing this entirely on living inside this fun house of a body for the past twenty years. I'm not a doctor or a medical professional. I'm just some dizzy chick who's had this for twenty years. There were times I'd try to squint to focus on something that seemed to be moving when I knew it wasn't. Sometimes I'd be walking and stop and my head would feel like it bounced on ahead without me. I'd turn and my head would feel like it kept right on turning. You can have a swimming feeling in your head. A bouncing feeling in your feet. A spinning room that makes it impossible even to walk. There were times I'd wake up spinning and swooping. 

For the past twenty years I've not watched the news (silver lining?). All that scrolling and busy screens make vertigo worse. Smart phones helped because for whatever reason the little phone screen doesn't bother me as much. I've written entire novels on my phone (I think I may have damaged my thumbs doing that), and I watch movies on it all the time. Sometimes I don't look at the screen much, but it's worked when regular televisions and monitors couldn't. 

After the first five years or so of searching for a diagnosis or cure, of running from doctor to doctor, I admittedly gave up on finding any help. Desperation and frustration made me set out to learn to live with chronic vertigo. It's not an easy thing to live with. Giving up was simply what I had to do to survive. I don't do well with meds and had more problems with side-effects than living with chronic dizziness—that is saying something. I'd had MRI's and CT's, seen neurologists and any specialist I could get a referral to (and some I self-referred myself to). My prescription med side effects included tachycardia, lots of skin conditions, being misdiagnosed with pheochromocytoma from a migraine preventative, and various bouts of instant depression whenever I could be coerced into taking a new and improved SSRI for depression that I didn't have (until the third day of taking an SSRI gave it to me). 

The biggest medical side effect was lost trust
I didn't walk into the first doctor's office apprehensive. In time I definitely became that way. That's why I have to accept that part of the reason that my vertigo has gone on so long is because I quit trusting that there was a doctor that could help me. 
There's a bottomless frustration bordering on despair that comes when you realize that doctors aren't listening to you. It happens after you've gone from physician to physician and when you begin to explain why you're there, what's happening, you once again get interrupted with someone finishing your sentences, asking if you've been depressed and if you've tried this or that anti-depressant? 
When it comes to reading people, I have a gift. I can see when I've lost someone's interest, when they don't have time for this, when they think they understand and they're going to brush me off. I realize doctors don't have much time for complex problems. I didn't realize that at first. I didn't realize I was a complex problem. In hindsight I don't think I was.

The end result was that after years of frustration and unable to garner any medical attention for a condition that got worse with "help", I moved on. You see, I wanted to live. If it had to be with vertigo, it was better than an ambulance ride and a thundering heart or even another doctor who thought I was a hypochondriac or a "hot-house flower".  

Fast forward twenty years

If you've been around The Glitter Globe for years, you know I've occasionally written about my vertigo. In fact, I call this blog The Glitter Globe because of my vertigo. I've often said if you took my brain and set it afloat inside a Glitter Globe, that's what vertigo feels like. Having vertigo can make focus challenging. It's like bobbing/spinning/drifting between realities. There's the nice stable reality most people get to live in, and the half-crazy Fun House one where my vertigo has me flitting between was that real or was that me? 

A few months ago when I was having a bad round of vertigo, I managed to get myself down the hall to my office. I have a nice comfy corduroy chair that I sit in. I put my feet up and don't move my head. Eventually the spinning slows. That night I searched online for books about vertigo. Since my vertigo started with six months of cluster migraine back in 2001, I've always figured what I had was Vestibular Migraine. I found a book that encouraged me to explore other options too. That's why I looked at BPPV.

Benign paroxysmal positional vertigo (BPPV)

My doctor referred me to a Physical Therapist with MSPT, DPT, and certified VRT after her name. If you have vertigo, it's the certified VRT that you need to find. It's a doctor with specialized training for Vestibular Rehab Therapy that you need. With vertigo it's doubtful you'll get the help you need with a doctor who doesn't have the training or experience you need.

Going to see this doctor I was nervous. I've been Epley Maneuvered many times in the past. It made my vertigo so much worse. I hated when doctors started talking about it. Eventually I refused to allow them to try it. When I wound up with vertigo in Greece a couple months ago, a friend who's a doctor said something to me that I needed to hear. She said, what you're describing sounds like BPPV, but don't just go to the doctor on the island for the maneuver. If a doctor doesn't do it all the time and doesn't really understand how to—they can make it a lot worse.

There's no crime in not knowing how to fix something. The crime is in faking it and hurting someone

My doctor friend is one of my favorite people. When I was trying to help Gummy through her dementia, she gave me great advice and I've respected her ever since. She often tells me that when it came to medicine she'd check her advice by asking herself, what if I'm wrong? As in if I'm wrong will this patient potentially die because of my advice? Or in my case, will this patient spend the next twenty years spinning? In a world where we can Google anything and talk about it like we know what we're talking about, we're all guilty of this. 

Unfortunately people have a tendency to believe doctors. At least at first

When I saw the VRT specialist I listened to her explain what we were going to do. In my head I was thinking, well, here we go. Spin City. Why did I agree to this? I was thinking who I could call for a ride home. And that maybe next spring I could fly down and stay with my friend in Texas to go see that Vestibular Migraine doctor down there. Maybe COVID won't be as bad then. At this point I was guilty of not trusting anymore.

Dr. VRT as we'll call her, had me sit on the table, legs straight out in front of me. She took my glasses and held my head in her hands and watched my eyes very closely and explained exactly how she'd drop me back, let my head dangle a bit off the table but be holding it and watching my eyes. Don't worry, she said, I've got you. Even if you throw up it's okay. I'm used to that. It happens all the time. Then she dropped me back flat, head turned towards her, and dangling off the table, watching my eyes. I couldn't focus on her then. I couldn't focus on anything. I was spinning. 

After a few more maneuvers she said, you definitely have BPPV. It's on your left side. I'm going to take you through the Epley Maneuver. There are three loops that make up your vestibular system in each ear. They're so small that they're no larger than the nail on your pinky finger. There are crystals inside of those tubes that can come loose causing vertigo. This exercise moves them into a place where they won't bother you. 

As we went through the movements, occasionally she'd kind of shake my head the way you would when you've trying to get the last of something out of a container. It never hurt. It was disorienting. But I'm used to that. What's weird is that when I left I wasn't spinning, and everything seemed straighter. Like the horizon, buildings, my house. For so long I've walked around seeing the world through a damaged lens, that seeing it straight felt off and weird. Like when you're nearsighted and you first get glasses.

Of course nothing is that simple. I've now had six weeks of treatments with daily exercises in between and I needed all of it. I wound up having BPPV in both ears and it showed up not long into my treatment. It makes it more complicated to correct because the maneuver on one side can trigger a problem to occur in the other. That's why, as amazing as the internet is, as incredible as it is to get information from YouTube, the odds of fixing something like this yourself seems about nil to me. Just like every doctor who attempted this on me over the years made it worse, winging it yourself can make it worse. There's a real knack to it and you need to find someone who has it. Someone who knows what they're doing. I can attest to the fact that it's not easy to find someone to help with dizziness. But if you have vertigo, don't wait twenty years to start searching for a doctor who specializes in Vestibular Rehab Therapy, VRT.

Am I perfectly stable without a wobble now? I can't say that yet, but I can say that I'm about 80% less dizzy. Now I'm working on teaching my brain that unpredictable movement isn't a cause for alarm. I'll explore the difficulties of long-term vertigo recovery in My Dizzy Dizzy Life, Part III, coming soon. Sign up for notifications (over on the right hand column, you may have to scroll down to find it) if you don't want to miss it. 

My Dizzy Dizzy Life, Part I

Vestibular Migraine is the Devil

Vestibular Migraine



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Published on January 01, 2022 20:18

December 6, 2021

My Dizzy Dizzy Life, Part 1

 


This has been going on for twenty years now. The good news is it's not inherently fatal. It sure feels like it is when you wake up spinning, or just start spinning. In the early years I spent a fortune on out-of-pocket medical costs. I was certain this wasn't going to be my life now. 

It was.

With everything I had I went from doctor to doctor looking for a cure. Hell, a diagnosis even. Somewhere I still have calendars and notes. I kept records of every migraine, every spin, every med, determined to find a pattern, a clue that would help. Eventually, after a few years in which all I did was see doctors and have tests, I gave up. 

Determined to "Keep Myself Alive" as the late great Freddy Mercury sang, I decided that every day, every second, that I wasn't actively spinning, was going to be the best day of my life. That motto kept me going. I wrote novels, I traveled, I hiked, I even went skydiving. And some days I sat very still, not moving my head, while the world spun furiously around me. 

I swore a lot.

Sometimes, mostly since the pandemic, I cried. Early on I trained myself not to cry. That sounds repressive but it was because I try not to move my head. Crying involves entirely too much dangerous head motion. The thing is, over the years, this shit has worn me down. Over time I stopped hiking. I stopped eating vegan, I stopped exercising much at all. I've never been a suicidal woman, I have a happy heart and I love life but I have little interest in spending my elder years spinning in a nursing home. 

That may have been part of the reason I got on a plane to Greece late this year, pandemic or no. I definitely take risks my chicken-shit soul isn't entirely comfortable with. Vertigo has made me very now or never minded. 

Then this happened.

Getting back and forth to my happy island in Greece is a freaking challenge in the best of times. During COVID it's a four day journey each way. Upon arrival I tacked on three days of vertigo. Returning home I had another three days of it. Bad days. My husband had to help me get to the bathroom to pee. Normally I'm pretty good at walking blind and knowing which way is up and down. Not this round of spinning. That's when I cried. 

Shortly after that I went for my annual physical and I admitted I was having trouble handling my chronic vertigo. I've just used up my coping skills. My doctor suggested I see a doctor who specializes in vertigo. She's had great success rate helping people, my doctor said. I agreed to see her. I had a couple weeks of anxiety over that. It's because one thing I've learned is that fooling with my vertigo can make it way worse. 

But I've read and re-read Dr. Beh's book Victory Over Vestibular Migraine. One thing he said in the book was not to assume that you have only one type of vertigo, that it's often more than one problem when it's chronic. 

Just between you and me, the first thing that impressed me about my local vertigo specialist was that she called me herself to set up on the appointment. It was a strange appointment. The doctor dropped me into positions, turning my head to and fro, her eyes inches from mine so she could see my eyes. Nystagmus is what she watches for. I'm going to resist going off on how many times I've had doctors do this to me. Suffice to say it wasn't my first rodeo, but it was the first time I was expertly taken through the Epley Maneuver and given immediate feedback. 

It was the first time it worked.

to be continued in my next blog post...


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Published on December 06, 2021 20:29

Taking Time to Enjoy Moments not Things

 

A Great Christmas Pumpkin

On Sunday I painted with a four-year-old. I'd caved and bought a Christmas rock painting kit ($10 Barnes & Noble). It came with instructions on how to paint Santa and Christmas Trees. I put brown paper down, opened the jars of paint, and handed the paintbrush to Four and let her have at it. We had paint everywhere. It spreads like glitter and you wonder later as you scrub it off a little face, chairs, the floor, and the inside of your arm how it got there! 

When Four visits me I encourage messes, too much screen time, and few rules. So she loves to visit, but the truth is I enjoy it even more. I love kid art, not when it's a classroom full of like work—but when it's haphazard splashes of color and enthusiastic scribbling. 

On Saturday I went to a friend's. Right in the middle of prime holiday shopping we watched movies, grazed on a charcuterie board, took the dog for a walk, and sat in her hot tub in the cold night talking about nothing and everything.


My grand plan this month is to shop little, spend my weekends doing things with family and friends, and cherish people not things. 


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Published on December 06, 2021 16:20

November 18, 2021

Why Didn't They Leave, an Immigration Story by Eva Hnizdo

 




The Blurb

You can’t ask for asylum in another country just because your mother drives you nuts, so when 19-year-old Zuzana flees from communist Czechoslovakia to England in 1972, she says she just wants freedom. Her relationship with her mother, Magda—a Holocaust survivor who lost most of her family in the concentration camps—is toxic and Zuzana finds happiness in London with a loving husband and beautiful son.

 But when her mother dies, Zuzana is crushed by guilt and feels an overwhelming urge to discover more about her family’s tragic history. So, she embarks on a life-changing journey, discovers some incredible stories and tries to answer the question which haunts her: Why didn’t they leave?


My SummaryWhy Didn't They Leave? by Eva Hnizdo tells the epic story of a Czech family from the point of view of Magda and her daughter Zuzana, moving between the two women and covering most of their lives.

Magda in the 1930’s is a willful somewhat spoiled child living in a beautiful home in Prague. Her mother Franzi is a cultured woman and her grandmother Olga is a steel-willed Matriarch used to getting her own way.

They’re wealthy and the family is educated, close, and enjoys a privileged lifestyle. They’re Jewish but agnostic and celebrate Christmas with roast pork and have no discernible religious beliefs.

There are rumblings of trouble in Europe but family matriarch Olga dismisses it and even though the opportunity to leave and emigrate to the United States comes their way—enough so that much of the family could go—only a few go against grandmother Olga’s command and leave.

Though the family barely considers themselves Jewish, in fact some are married to Christians and even a German, it’s enough Jewishness for the Nazi’s. They’re sent to camps, most of the men die, in fact most of the family dies. (I heard the author speak in an interview with the BBC about this book and her family history upon which this story is based. She made an intriguing statement that how we see ourselves is important, but how others see us too is also important. That really stayed with me.)

Those that survive in this story are changed forever. Magda at age eighteen returns from a camp determined to put it behind her, she finishes school quickly and becomes a pharmacist. She trusts no one and is damaged by what she endured. Her mother Franzi too survives but decides the worst in life is behind her and focuses on the good. Olga too managed to survive but with the knowledge that her family died because of her demands.

The Nazis confiscated much of their wealth but some things were saved by non-Jewish friends.

Magda marries and has a daughter Zuzana. Zuzana doesn’t even know her family is Jewish because Magda like many survivors of the Holocaust decides the safest way to ensure future survival is to leave every last hint of their Jewishness behind them so she hides everything from her daughter.

Zuzana knows only that her mother is demanding and impossible. Prague and Czechoslovakia are then invaded by Russia and becomes communist. So the surviving family goes from Nazis to Communism.

Zuzana slowly learns her family’s truth though her mother shares nothing. When grandmother Franzi dies, Magda has the funeral behind Zuzana’s back.

Magda manages to secure state permission for a trip to Paris and Zuzana takes her first opportunity to escape to London and never return, determined not to make the same mistakes as her family.

Zuzana is pragmatic and open to new cultures and races, surprisingly unlike her mother Magda who is still living in survival mode. Zuzana escapes communism to the west. She marries a black man whose family immigrated from Grenada. Slowly over the years Zuzana pieces together her family story. It’s a fascinating tale and an education for many Americans whose own families escaped many of the horrors of the Second World War—and the ensuing political problems of the decades following even to now.

This book is important and worth your time and effort. It’s amazing how much of this history is repeating itself even today.
The Author Eva Hnizdo
Eva Hnizdo escaped communism when Russia had taken control of what is now the Czech Republic. She says that whenever her Jewish family had thought about immigrating from a place and hadn't, it had been a grave mistake. Many of her relatives didn't survive the Holocaust. Most of those that did wound up spending their lives under an oppressive communist regime when the country then known as Czechoslovakia fell under Russian rule. 
Eva studied medicine at Charles University and became a doctor. She was a refugee and obtained political asylum in the UK in 1986. She worked in the same surgery in Watford for twenty-three years before retiring. She says during the almost forty years she worked as a doctor, she had the privilege of seeing into her patients' lives, their problems, and their solutions to those problems. She feels it isn't a coincidence that many writers are medical doctors, saying they have many stories to tell and spends her retirement writing.  




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Published on November 18, 2021 21:29

November 9, 2021

Rhetoric, The Art of Persuasive Writing and Public Speaking—HarvardX




When lockdown started last year I decided to take online classes as a way to keep my mind off current events. I tried random classes that interested me, Archaeology & Egyptology, The Science of Happiness, Screenwriting, Amherst Writers and Artists, and others. I saved Rhetoric for last, worried it was like those Russian novels I'm forever moving to the bottom of my To Be Read pile, and something I was in no mood to tackle. It was work, and I'm kind of proud of myself for sticking with it. It's a worthy and worthwhile topic and class.
I took it through HarvardX and edX classes. If you like to learn (or just want useful escapism), I recommend checking out edX. The selection is large and they have both free and certified versions of their classes, so don't let cost sway you. None of the classes I've taken were easy, but they were all worth my time and effort, including Rhetoric.
Rhetoric includes both written essays and public speaking. It's a way to consider right/wrong, guilt/innocence, knowing/ignorance. It's about clear communication. One of the things the class tackles is how to get solid facts through legitimate sources (something all of these classes were strict about, no Wikipedia, no whacky Uncle's Facebook posts). We studied political speeches and documents as we learned a variety of rhetorical devices. To me Rhetoric is kind of like the Geometry of words.
Reading early versions of the Declaration of Independence as it went through edits and changes was an incredible learning experience. As a writer I know that magic happens in the edits, yet a part of me imagined that Thomas Jefferson sat down and penned this miracle of a manuscript in its famous perfection as we now know it. That is not how it happened, and history has the edits. I loved it, it was a group effort, and thank goodness for editors. 
As for speeches, we analyzed Martin Luther King's I Have a Dream speech, Presidential speeches, political speeches, and watched how they all have bits and pieces of other historical catch phrases and quotes in them (from biblical to mythology to a candidate who ran twenty years ago). It's a beautiful thing and reminded me so much of Austin Kleon's Steal Like an Artist book and spirit. We all use what we've learned to create new things. 
Now would probably be a good time to head back to Toastmasters to practice my newfound skills, but I have a few novels to finish writing first. 



 

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Published on November 09, 2021 19:21

October 19, 2021

Ten Ways Travel Has Changed Since Covid


Hey, I'm back from my long trip to Greece. It was great. How can it be anything but great? I went to Greece for almost a month, but it was tough. It took me four days to get to my destination and on the return trip it took another four days to get home.
On top of that my wimpy constitution reacted to all the travel stress with several days of vestibular migraine. Upon my arrival on Alonissos, my migraine brain celebrated with three days of vertigo. And the same thing happened once I finally got home. So I spent almost a week out of the month trying not to move my head. 
In fact, when vertigo hit again after arriving home I actually thought maybe I shouldn't take this trip. Maybe it's just too much for my wienie body. Then, about two seconds after my vestibular migraine ended I did what I always do. I started booking next year's trip because if I let my big baby body dictate what I do and don't do then I've given up. So maybe that means I'm an optimist. Or maybe that means I'm just stupid. 
Whatever. I do want to weigh in on travel changes I noticed. People talk less when they wear masks. That's okay because most of the time when they do talk, you can't tell what the heck they are saying anyway. I never realized how much communication is facial or watching someone's mouth. With half of everyone's face covered by a mask forget about it. Especially if there is a big plastic shield at the check-in counter. Now, we all know what it's like to be hard of hearing. Anyone who does have to talk ends up repeating their muffled, garbled words several times. It doesn't help, but they try. You know how when there are announcements on a flight and they finish, people used to ask each other, "What did they say?" Nobody even bothered. I couldn't even tell if they were speaking English or Greek. For the most part nothing was on time. I had three connections to Athens. Flying has always been hurry up and wait but with the employee shortage, bring a book. You'll be waiting at the gate for the crew or for technicians to check something. In the airplane you'll be waiting for a gate to open up or for the person who drives the gate to the plane to show up. I have to say that on my flights nobody complained. We're resigned. Pack your patience and a book. At least we can go somewhere! My tip would be not to book short layovers, and save yourself some stress.Covid paperwork. Every country requires different paperwork. And if you're flying to say Greece via Amsterdam, you have to follow Amsterdam's Covid restrictions and do their paperwork too. It's probably best to check the embassy's website for the countries you're passing through/going to to find their requirements, rather than say some chick's YouTube channel. But I actually checked both. Requirements change constantly. Do your best. Read through all of the requirements before you react. For instance I started reading the Greek Embassy's rules for incoming travelers. The first part was all about what kind of testing was MANDATORY FOR ALL TRAVELERS. It was long. Part of my brain was already planning how to get this testing done so it wouldn't be older than 72 hours even though it's taking me four days to get there! But the next paragraph read something along the lines of this, IF YOU ARE VACCINATED THAT PARAGRAPH DOESN'T APPLY TO YOU. Sheesh. You have to wear your mask from the time you arrive at the airport of your departure and you will continue to have to wear that mask through every connecting flight and airport. On the way to Athens I wore an N95 (I can breathe better in them and they don't fog your glasses like most masks). I left here on August 25th and arrived in Athens on August 26th. I had to keep wearing my mask until I checked into my hotel and got to my room. It was almost thirty hours. My nose burned badly. It also bled off and on for days, but then I had to continue to wear it on the next day's flight and then ferries until the 28th of August. My tip would be to bring a lot of masks and change it every four hours. It makes a huge difference. I did that on my return trip and it was much less painful. You will also be asked if you're willing to wear your mask the entire trip before you're allowed to board the flight. Eating on the flight. We were allowed to pull our masks down to eat on the international flights row by row, but were told to pull them up after every bite. In the airports that I passed through in the US I'd guesstimate that half of the shops/restaurants/coffee shops were closed. It's probably not a bad time to finagle a way to spend your long layovers in a sky lounge or such.For Greece I took paper copies for my proof of vaccination, their locator forms, all travel info, and pre-registered and pre-paid for Covid testing I'd need to have done within Greece for my return trip. But I also had all that paperwork in my phone. In August there were so many people arriving in Athens and lines to stand in going through Customs, that it's simpler to have a few papers in your hand than being able to pull up whatever paperwork is requested from your phone. Otherwise I'm trying to wake my phone up, make sure it's not losing the charge, and it's downloading so many messages since my arrival that it tends to stroke out. Factor in how fast your phone will figure out where you're at and if you set up a compatible international plan. Everyone is over-worked and under-staffed. People are trying to do multiple jobs. Travelers are stressed too. They probably paid more for their trip than ever before and likely nothing has gone according to plan. Being kind will go a long way rather than demanding special treatment. Losing your temper should not be an option. Absolutely everyone is tired and stressed. Be kind. Be kind. Be kind. Hand sanitizer is available everywhere. In airports and in Greece I saw it on every table and there were free-standing dispensers in every spot imaginable. Many times there were free masks too. On planes one of the first things they do is pass out anti-bacterial wipes. In many restaurants half the tables can't be used in order to space people out. It was like that on ferries too. There are also markings on the floors reminding everyone to keep their distance from others and announcements reminding you to do so. When I finally got to the jet bridge for my flight to Athens, and saw that big plane outside I wanted to dance. I was so thrilled to be able to go somewhere again. I'm one of those people who wanted to travel even as a little kid. I had a mental list of all the places I wanted to go and write about. Why everyone on that plane wasn't cheering was a mystery to me. We were the luckiest. Sure, it's tough to travel right now. It's scary and frustrating and expensive. You have to ask yourself if you really want it and if it's worth it to you. It's okay not to travel. You can have an exciting and thrilling life without traveling. Don't take risks if your gut is telling you not to! But if your gut is telling you to go, that the need outweighs the risk, pack your patience and a good book.
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Published on October 19, 2021 21:30

August 25, 2021

Here I am Sneaking Off to Greece (I hope) —Travel 2021

 


By the time this blog posts, I should be well on my way to New York-Detroit-Athens-Skiathos-Alonissos, Greece. Should. If you've so much as tried to buy plywood or gone out to eat, you probably know that things aren't running smoothly yet. 

The first week after I booked my flight I received two cancellation notices as flights were cancelled and everything needed rescheduled. That's a sticky game when you have connections. So my expectations are modest.

If I get there sometime in August, everything's good!

It'll take me four planes, one ferry, and three entire days before I step off the ferry in Patatiri on the island of Alonissos in the Northern Sporades. It should be an adventure and like with anything we do this year, patience is required. It's never an easy trip, but it's always worth it. I'll sleep in Athens on my way, and Skiathos, and when I hit Alonissos, I'll likely sleep for an entire day. 

Hopefully some of that sleep will be on a beach covered in salty white stones with a monk seal stealing a nap nearby.

The domino effect of this virus and the lockdowns hasn't been easy on any of us. We've lost so many people and so many are hurting. I hope that all of you can find a place that feeds your soul and where you can rest. That's why I decided to pack up and head out into the wild world again. I had to weigh the risk. I've been vaccinated. I've been on lockdown for a good part of all of this. In the end I decided it's better, healthier, for me to go. 

It's a risk. There are no guarantees. But when have there ever been?





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Published on August 25, 2021 17:27

July 17, 2021

Kristin Hannah's The Four Winds—A Book Review

 


Reading a book about the Dust Bowl during this summer of rain-rain-rain didn't interest me at first. I kept moving it down my TBR pile for lightweight summer reads. The farmers in my neck of the country are battling drowned crops, COVID is ever-circling like a shark, and I wanted to ingest easy uplifting reads. Finally, at the urging of other readers, I took it with me to the beach. I could hardly put it down. I loved The Four Winds by Kristin Hannah. I had no trouble empathizing with the people whose lives were forever changed when the climate turned against an entire section of the country. 


The book starts in 1921 when life is bountiful for most in the Texas Panhandle. Not for Elsa Wolcott, she's an old-maid at twenty-five, a pitiable condition in her wealthy family. Elsa's love of reading and desperation to really live despite her old age lead her to make choices that wind up changing her life forever. Then the drought comes, and The Depression.
What worked for me most with this book was Elsa's inner strength, and the inner strength of some people when life throws only obstacles at them. Some people are survivors. Some are not. I'd not realized just how awful times were for people living in certain parts of the country. Almost every step of this book mirrors things happening in our world right now. It's a masterful novel. 
I've heard readers pooh-pooh reading this because they've already read Steinbeck's The Grapes of Wrath. Don't be deceived by the setting. This is a woman's story about family and survival. It's a story about love, not the overdone romantic kind. There's a far more important fierce familial love when life is at it's desperate worst. 
This story reminded me that it's a lucky luxury to have water, shelter, and food. It reminded me that not everybody is that lucky through absolutely no fault of their own. It's a good reminder. I highly recommend this book. I'd give it all the stars. 

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Published on July 17, 2021 17:27

June 29, 2021

The Chemist by Stephenie Myer—A Book Review

 


The Chemist by Stephenie Myer reminded me that I once wrote a book about an assassin. I enjoy action adventure reads when I get to know the character and there's more to the story than chasing and shooting. I enjoy a deep plot. Those kinds of stories can be hard to find. 

When someone offered to loan me this hardcover book for a read, I quickly took them up on it. Many of the books I read come about in that way, serendipitous. Strangely I've never belonged to a book club but as long as I can remember I've been part of informal circles of readers who exchange books or sometimes buy each other books to send. For me that means they come vetted and recommended. Later we'll sometimes discuss them, but not always. 

The Chemist didn't really come vetted. The giver said she hadn't been able to "get into it" and gave up on reading it. I had no problem, this book had me at the synopsis. In fact I read it in a day, walking around with it, staying up late and waking up early to continue. 

Now Stephenie Myer gets a bad rap for Twilight in our criticizing everyone culture, but if her name hadn't been on this cover I'd not have recognized the writing.  This is next level writing and story. 

 


It's about a woman who worked for a type of black ops program for the U.S. Government. She's running from them now and spends her nights sleeping in bathtubs wearing a gas mask, always prepared for an attack. Attacks come too, but she's thought through her defenses and escapes again and again. 

She's tired of running and about out of money when she gets an online message from her old boss with an offer she can't refuse. Taking a chance that could lead to her being forgiven, and getting the target off her back, she winds up in an even bigger mess. I don't want to give any spoilers, but it's a good read and hard to put down. 

Check it out. I'd love to know what you think about it.     

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Published on June 29, 2021 17:27