Amy Sumida's Blog - Posts Tagged "drinking-games"
Two Girls, a Guy, and a Gay Man
So last night as I was eating my lunch(I keep late hours so lunch was at 9pm) of musubi, beef pot pie, and coffee, I got a call from my friend Richard. Richard is a fabulous gay man with red hair and a hearing problem. In fact, it turned out to not be him at all but our friend Mike who was calling me on his phone since Richard can't hear well and was also too drunk to text. Mike wasn't doing much better in the drunk department but he was able to convey an invitation to join them and also give me directions to his house which turned out to be like five minutes from mine. His directions were: Go across the highway, go right at the fork, and Richard will be standing there waving at you. OK then.
I had to first shoo away a mama cat and her five kittens who had decided to breastfeed behind my car and then had the nerve to hiss at me: How rude, but I finally made it across Kamehameha Highway and to the fork, which happens to bisect around a cemetery. As soon as I took the right, two lurching man-shaped shadows jumped into the road, waving their arms like a pair of zombies. I came to a screeching halt as Richard and Michael stumbled into the light of a streetlamp.
"Oh good, it's you," Richard said as he got into the car.
"Yeah," Michael said, "We've been waving at every car that passed by."
"You two yahoos do realize you're waving at people from the shadow of a cemetery, down the road from the police station?" I rolled my eyes. "You're lucky someone didn't call the cops to report the zombie apocalypse."
They seemed unconcerned by this. Evidently that sort of thing happens all the time on their side of the highway. I can assure you that nothing so uncouth ever happens on my side.
We went back to Mike's place where I was poured a drink and a shot by his wife and told to drink the shot immediately because this was the house rules. The shot was vodka, which I personally think tastes like rubbing alcohol, but I'm a good spot and I threw it back. I had a nice drink of ginger ale with honey whiskey to chase it with so I wasn't too concerned. However, before I was able to take a well needed sip, I was told that there was a tiny, invisible man sitting on the rim of my glass and before I could drink I had to remove him. I looked around me with growing fear, wondering what exactly they'd taken and if they were hallucinating or just going crazy, until they explained that it was a rule for their complicated drinking game. Ah, ok then, I followed along with the rule and was told to be sure to put the little man back on the rim. Ok, fine.
This rule was created in response to a direct order of the card game they were playing, called "I Never", in which you pull cards with phrases like "I never had sex with a blindfold on" and then did what the card told you depending on whether the statement was true or false for you. I have to insert here that Richard and I were the only two who that particular statement was false for. I was shocked, what was wrong with these people? Hasn't everyone tried a blindfold out? But I digress.
In addition to the card game, we had even more rules that were different for each person. We were watching episodes of The Big Bang Theory and these rules applied to the show. For example, I had to take 3 drinks every time Sheldon said "Bazinga" or laughed. I got to give away 1 drink whenever Wallowitz hit on a woman. This added a whole layer of complication to the drinking game which proved harder and harder to maintain as the evening progressed.
It was a lot of fun but I have to admit that my favorite parts were the discussions we had over clarification on the card statements. For example, when a card was pulled that read "I have never participated in an orgy" there seemed to be a need for clarification. This card was actually pulled before my arrival but the discussion was still going on whether three people was considered an orgy or if you needed at least four. When I said I'd think that any more than two should be enough, they argued that three is equivalent to a threesome and as it already had that label it couldn't possibly be called an orgy. Richard said everyone called three people having sex a threesome but you never heard someone talk about four people having sex as a quadsome, so therefore it must be an orgy.
I thought this over a bit and finally asked the ultimate question. "Did you guys google it?"
They looked at each other in shock. No, they had not thought to google it. They did so immediately. Unfortunately, the definition they found in Webster's stated that an orgy was a revel involving unrestrained indulgence, often involving sex. It did not give a minimum of people involved and so we were once more stumped. By the way, if anyone out there does know the minimum requirement of participants for sex to be labeled an orgy, I would love to know it. I mean by the definition in the dictionary, we were having an orgy last night, no sex but still there was unrestrained indulgence. Now I'm really confused on whether that statement is true or false for me.
I had to first shoo away a mama cat and her five kittens who had decided to breastfeed behind my car and then had the nerve to hiss at me: How rude, but I finally made it across Kamehameha Highway and to the fork, which happens to bisect around a cemetery. As soon as I took the right, two lurching man-shaped shadows jumped into the road, waving their arms like a pair of zombies. I came to a screeching halt as Richard and Michael stumbled into the light of a streetlamp.
"Oh good, it's you," Richard said as he got into the car.
"Yeah," Michael said, "We've been waving at every car that passed by."
"You two yahoos do realize you're waving at people from the shadow of a cemetery, down the road from the police station?" I rolled my eyes. "You're lucky someone didn't call the cops to report the zombie apocalypse."
They seemed unconcerned by this. Evidently that sort of thing happens all the time on their side of the highway. I can assure you that nothing so uncouth ever happens on my side.
We went back to Mike's place where I was poured a drink and a shot by his wife and told to drink the shot immediately because this was the house rules. The shot was vodka, which I personally think tastes like rubbing alcohol, but I'm a good spot and I threw it back. I had a nice drink of ginger ale with honey whiskey to chase it with so I wasn't too concerned. However, before I was able to take a well needed sip, I was told that there was a tiny, invisible man sitting on the rim of my glass and before I could drink I had to remove him. I looked around me with growing fear, wondering what exactly they'd taken and if they were hallucinating or just going crazy, until they explained that it was a rule for their complicated drinking game. Ah, ok then, I followed along with the rule and was told to be sure to put the little man back on the rim. Ok, fine.
This rule was created in response to a direct order of the card game they were playing, called "I Never", in which you pull cards with phrases like "I never had sex with a blindfold on" and then did what the card told you depending on whether the statement was true or false for you. I have to insert here that Richard and I were the only two who that particular statement was false for. I was shocked, what was wrong with these people? Hasn't everyone tried a blindfold out? But I digress.
In addition to the card game, we had even more rules that were different for each person. We were watching episodes of The Big Bang Theory and these rules applied to the show. For example, I had to take 3 drinks every time Sheldon said "Bazinga" or laughed. I got to give away 1 drink whenever Wallowitz hit on a woman. This added a whole layer of complication to the drinking game which proved harder and harder to maintain as the evening progressed.
It was a lot of fun but I have to admit that my favorite parts were the discussions we had over clarification on the card statements. For example, when a card was pulled that read "I have never participated in an orgy" there seemed to be a need for clarification. This card was actually pulled before my arrival but the discussion was still going on whether three people was considered an orgy or if you needed at least four. When I said I'd think that any more than two should be enough, they argued that three is equivalent to a threesome and as it already had that label it couldn't possibly be called an orgy. Richard said everyone called three people having sex a threesome but you never heard someone talk about four people having sex as a quadsome, so therefore it must be an orgy.
I thought this over a bit and finally asked the ultimate question. "Did you guys google it?"
They looked at each other in shock. No, they had not thought to google it. They did so immediately. Unfortunately, the definition they found in Webster's stated that an orgy was a revel involving unrestrained indulgence, often involving sex. It did not give a minimum of people involved and so we were once more stumped. By the way, if anyone out there does know the minimum requirement of participants for sex to be labeled an orgy, I would love to know it. I mean by the definition in the dictionary, we were having an orgy last night, no sex but still there was unrestrained indulgence. Now I'm really confused on whether that statement is true or false for me.
