R.J. Blain's Blog, page 77

Inquisitor & Storm Without End – Available at epub stores!

Your time has come, e-pub readers!

Inquisitor is now available at all major epub vendors! Here are links for those interested.

Loved reading Inquisitor? Consider leaving a review at one of these sites to help give the book a head start.

Barnes & Nobles
Kobo 
iTunes
Inktera 
Scribd 

Storm Without End is also now available at all major epub vendors. Here are links for those interested.

While I know this is not as popular of a series, if you read the book and love it, consider leaving a review at one of these sites to help encourage new readers to pick it up!

Barnes & Nobles
Kobo
iTunes
Inktera
Scribd

Book Review: SEAL Team Six: Hunt the Falcon by Don Mann (with Ralph Pezzullo)

SEAL Team Six: Hunt the Falcon tells the story of a group of SEAL operatives on the hunt for the Falcon, an Iranian terrorist who had kidnapped the main character’s wife several months prior.

The Short Review: I really wanted to like this novel. It reminded me of an interesting blend of Mitch Rapp and Jack Ryan, but at the end, I couldn’t help but feel that in the effort to hit two different styles of thriller at the same time, the novel missed its mark. It was enjoyable, but I didn’t find it quite as engaging as other thrillers in the same ballpark.

I’d give this novel 3.5* to 4*; Crocker is an interesting character, but I felt that there was just something missing from the tension in the story. Still, it wasn’t a bad book, it just didn’t grab me nearly as much as I was hoping it would.

One thing I will shout out for this book: It has a very real, gritty feel to it, which I really appreciated.

The Long Review: SEAL Team Six: Hunt the Falcon opens with the deaths of the parents of a child by the Iranian terrorist ‘the Falcon.’ Crocker goes on the hunt, with his team of SEALs, in order to bring the Falcon to justice.

This story shines when the focus is on what the team is doing. During those phases of the novel, I really enjoyed the book. During those parts, it’s a solid 4*, occasionally 5* book for me. It’s when the story loses focus on the Falcon and shifts to other things, including the relationships with Crocker’s family.

The transitions between these two parts of the story were really rough for me. It often felt like there was a lot of jumping. One minute, I’m in a different country on the hunt for the Falcon, and the next, Crocker is home dealing with family life. There’s very little transition, which would leave me floundering to get back into the story.

Once Crocker went back on the hunt for the Falcon, I was enjoying the story again. I think part of it boils down to the fact that Crocker lacks the charismatic charm of Jack Ryan and Mitch Rapp, which didn’t let me really get into his character when he wasn’t being a SEAL. His actions as a SEAL were what held me to the story, not the characterizations with his family, which just didn’t work well for me.

That’s personal taste. In terms of writing quality, which is what I’m basing the star value of this review on, it’s a pretty solid 4*. It’s gritty, down-to-Earth, and works well for the genre of book.

I just couldn’t get into Crocker’s character in this book, outside of when he was being a SEAL doing what he does best. If the focus had been less on his family, I probably would have enjoyed this book even more.

I want to take a moment to talk about one of the strengths of this book: The technicalities.  If you’re looking for a realistic thriller, this is probably right up your alley. It reads accurate, feels accurate, and is accurate, at least so far as I can tell from what I do know about operations of this type. That is one of the strengths that kept me reading right up to the end of the book.

So, if you like thrillers of the military type with a focus on anti-terrorism, this novel is definitely worth the read. If you’re going in and expecting the charismatic charm of Mitch Rapp or Jack Ryan, however, I’d be wary. Crocker is a lot more down-t0-Earth, and I feel he isn’t quite as likable because of it. Still, I rooted for him, although he just wasn’t the type of character I was really hoping for.

I received this book as an ARC from the publisher.

Progress on the Fundraising Campaign

Not quite four days into the campaign, my fundraiser for the next three Witch & Wolf novels is doing really well. 20% funded, all thanks to you!

The depression is trying to tell me that it won’t get any better.

I’m telling it to go screw itself with a sharp stick.

It’s the first time since the basement sewage flood I’ve been able to really fight back. I got up, grabbed my camera, and I went outside today. I took photos. I took photos of things that, for whatever reason, made me happy. 

I managed to escape for a little while. It wasn’t through my writing, but through the lens of my camera. But I’ll be honest, it hurt. My knee ached the entire time, and I got a blister on a heel. I don’t exercise enough. I wanted to walk 2 kilometers. I managed one before the aches and pains drove me back home.

If it isn’t raining, I’m going to try to do it again, first thing in the morning. Get up, walk, move around. Try to find good things about the day before reality strikes… or the depression rears its ugly head.

I’m finally feeling like I’m getting somewhere. I’m stressed, but I’m functioning again.

Today, I’ll write.

But before I do, I want to talk about the campaign a little bit more. I’ve added some fun perks to it, including the Deluxe Tea Party, Acknowledges by my Cat, and a Photo Walk of Montreal Botanical Gardens, where I take pictures, have fun, and act goofy.

The Deluxe Tea Party ($15 perk at the campaign) is really fun. I take my dry erase markers, draw something at random, write something on the board, and include the contributor’s name in it. I pose my cup of tea in front of it, and take a picture.

So far, three people have participated in the Deluxe Tea Party.

First up, Megan Reed!

Second up, Amybeth Inverness!

And last, but not least, Michael Robertson!

I’ve been posting them on facebook and google+ as I’ve been finishing the, but I’ll make a gallery of all of the images once the campaign is over.

I’ll be fulfilling this perk as I go, as I really enjoy tea, and what better time than the present to enjoy a cup of tea?

Now, for a confession:

I admit, because the opening days have done so well, I’m actually a little hopeful that this campaign will reach the funding goal. I’m even indulging in some tentative thoughts of what I’d do if it actually goes over the goal.

I’d buy a new computer or laptop, that’s what. It’d either be a new desktop (I direly need one) or a really badass laptop that can serve as a desktop. My current desktop is a piece of crap. I can no longer run the video hangouts I used to love doing (the silent writing hangouts) — Windows needs reinstalled, and I do not have a Windows 7 disc to do it with.

I can’t really justify paying the amount for Windows 7 with a desktop that is really crappy in terms of what’s under the hood. I mean, I bought it for $300 brand new several years ago. It’s one of those cheapo systems meant for people who don’t want to use their computers for more than facebook and email. That’s totally cool, except I need to use my computer for more than facebook and email.

Oh well.

But, that’s a dream within a dream, however awesome that dream might be.

My novels, as always, come first.

But how glorious would it be if I could afford a laptop like that?!

If you want to help with the Witch & Wolf novels, there are lots of ways that you can participate without spending a cent. While money is important for my goals, reach is really important.

Do you know a single person who would be willing to share the campaign on their facebook, twitter, and google+ accounts? Could you talk them into talking one of their friends into sharing the campaign? In turn, do you think you could then have them talk their friends talk their friends into sharing it?

One person can have a huge impact if the chain keeps going. And best of all, with each share, with each public comment on the campaign cheering it on, and with each and every donation, no matter what size, the campaign will get more notice on indiegogo as well.

That helps me an immeasurable amount. Even if someone doesn’t contribute, awareness that I exist is so valuable as an author.

It means I’m relevant. It means I have a chance of being recognized.

When my next novel launches, one of these people might see it and remember me. They might decide to take a chance on me.

And that is really important.

Thank you so much for your support.

 

Fighting Depression one Thought at a Time

I wrote about my slide into depression recently. I’m revisiting the subject because talking about it helps.

Sharing what I’m doing to fight on might help someone else, even if it makes me uncomfortable in some ways. I feel like I’m whining. I feel like I’m an abnormal, worthless part of society for having the emotions I do. I don’t feel like I belong.

But I’m not alone, and that’s why I’m going to express myself as I can, and speak about what I’m doing to get my life back in order.

As I mentioned before, writing about it helped. Old and new friends alike let me know they understand, and that’s a big thing, even when the nasty little voice in my head doesn’t agree and doesn’t want anyone’s pity.

I’m remembering how to tell that nasty little voice to go to hell. I’d gotten lazy because I’d been so focused on my novel writing and production and client editorial that I didn’t have time to get really, really depressed.

I think the first real forward step wasn’t in the writing, however, it was in making a decision to do something–anything. Instead of wallowing, I stood back up.

That was hard. Really hard. I think one of the most difficult parts about fighting depression, for me, is making the decision I must dig out somehow, even when it seems impossible.

And for the past little while, it’s felt impossible. My mother has assured me, countless times, I’m doing all of the right things to make the problems go away. (And not through magic, by hard work, effort, and all that snazz.)

Although I swore to myself I wouldn’t let my pride sink so low again, I started an indiegogo campaign to help myself get back on my feet in a way I could, eventually, be proud of: my novel-writing career. (If you have a few spare dollars, consider buying me a cup of tea to help me pay for all of the things I need to pay for to make these novels a reality. My career is really important to me. That’s why I work so hard, but… I had to choose between it and my home recently.)

I pillaged a lot of my novel funds to pay for various household disaster things. In order to be a self-sufficient business, I developmentally edit novels for clients.

I was financially stable for my writing until this disaster struck, barely. But when given the choice of repairing from a sewage flood or keeping my novel-writing nest, it was a pretty simple choice. Without a home, I can’t write… and if the sewage flood wasn’t fixed, my home could’ve been condemned. Insurance is covering a lot, but not everything. That’s just how it rolls, unfortunately.

My mother is really, really helping me a lot financially right now, which is a major blow to my pride, however appreciative I am. (Thanks, Mom.)

Thanks to my mother, I can go to Las Vegas without worrying about having to eat as cheaply as possible. We can pick and choose from the reasonably-priced buffets. We can get some souvenirs. We can go see some shows. I have to buy her a jackalope and mail it to her… but we were going to do that anyway. That’s how we roll in the Blain household.

We help each other, even if it means bullying our way through the walls of pride.

I can do all of these things, as we had planned in December of 2013, because my mother is helping us do it so we won’t fall into even more debt.

I’m grateful, even if my pride is curled in the fetal position.

Through it all, I have to try to force a positive thought. I can do this. No, the potato salad kickstarter is not a reflection of my value. Just because people want to throw money at some kid for being snarky on the internet doesn’t mean my goals and ambitions are worthless.

True story: When I saw that kickstarter project, I just about gave up on everything. I wanted to cry.

But I fought it, one thought at a time. Fine, if some dude can get $35,000+ dollars because he wanted potato salad, maybe I can get the money I need to finish my novels and keep writing.

Maybe my campaign will take off, and I’ll be able to get a new laptop… one that can handle running word plus another program for drafting and editing purposes. One with a nice, big screen so I can take it places and have the screen real estate to be productive. Or replace my piece of crap desktop, although it is functional as is. It’s just crappy and old.

And… dream of all dreams… a dedicated keyboard and mouse for it.

If the stars align, a dedicated monitor for downstairs when I’m working in a quiet space where I can concentrate without life getting in the way.

Maybe I can prove to myself, and the world, that writing is a worthwhile endeavor, and that through my books, I can connect with people and entertain them. I can, in some way, touch them even though we’ve never met face to face and may never have that chance.

Maybe I can, one thought at a time, prove I’m worthwhile.

But the other, dark little voice, keeps saying I’ve attached my value to money. That I’m a greedy little bitch for daring to want to succeed at anything.

But then I fight back, thought by thought: Yes, I’m being greedy. I have a dream, and damn it, I’m not going to let some stupid little negativity demon lurking in my brain take it away from me, not this time. I want to write my books, and I want to make my novel-writing career a viable lifestyle and reality.

And the ‘this time’ mentioned above is accurate. It won, a while back. For two to three years, where I barely wrote a single word. It won, because I didn’t fight on.

Because I didn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t believe in myself.

That’s depression, though. That’s the nature of the beast.

All I can do is fight on, and hope that this time, it is enough.

I won’t listen to those who say writing is a crap shoot career choice. I don’t care. It’s what I love to do. It’s a part of who I am. Why should I roll over and take a traditional job because of what traditional people say?

I want to tell stories. I want people to love my books.

I want to write.

And I will.

And I’ll keep telling myself this, one thought at a time, until I believe it.

 

Indiegogo Campaign for the Witch & Wolf Series

Murder, magic, and mayhem: The world of the Inquisition is our own, touched by the secrets of the paranormal and the supernatural. Underneath the thin veneer of modern comfort and security is a violent society of men, women, witches, and werewolves, as well as those who go bump in the night.

Some are the hunters.

Some are the hunted.

All of them have been touched by the Inquisition.

The past few weeks have been pretty tough on me. In order to help recover from the sewage flood, I had to pillage most of my funds (earned through my developmental editing) for my novel writing, which has set me back quite a bit. There were a lot of unwanted expenses (like needing a new electric box because apparently our old one isn’t to code, an unpleasantry discovered by the sewage flood) I have paid for… out of the money I worked hard to get for my novels.

Since I stubbornly refuse to give up my writing career, I’m asking for help to get all of the funds needed to produce the next three novels in my Witch & Wolf series. My goal is to have all three of these novels produced within a year, with the first of the three published and released by November 2014. 

About the Books:

Winter Wolf

Estimated Release Date: November 1, 2014.
Current Status: Drafting in progress. Outlining completed.

A few months prior to the events of Inquisitor, Nicolina Desmond bears witness to a horrific murder. However, the truth of the young man’s death is far worse than she ever believed possible.

A plague is killing off the werewolves, and if Nicolina can’t find a cure, her family will number among the dead…

Blood Diamond
Estimated Release Date: March 2015.
Current Status: Outlining completed.

The world is full of corpses, and Jackson knows them by name. When a group strives to destroy the Inquisition, his sight may be all standing between the supernaturals and extinction.

However, when he learns the truth behind the deaths of his wife and unborn daughter, Jackson may prove to be the greatest threat of all to the survival of mankind…

Silver Bullet
Estimated Release Date: August 2015.
Current Status: Outlining completed.

In the aftermath of Blood Diamond, Victoria Hanover once again finds herself in the middle of a mess. Used in the ritual to forge a blood diamond, she is severed from her witch and her wolf. Aging years in a day as her human shell reverts to its true age, she is running out of time.

With her witch powers on the loose, and her wolf spirit on the hunt, it falls to a powerless Victoria to fight the manifestations of herself.

Unfortunately, killing a werewolf isn’t easy, and it’s even harder to destroy a spirit. In order to protect humanity, she must forge the silver bullets meant to end her life once and for all. Diving into her past is only the start of her journey, and success will be the end of it.

About the perks! (Yay! Perks, perks, perks!)

Perks make the crowdfunding world go round. I don’t know about you, but the bright, shiny things that can be acquired draw my attention to a campaign almost as much as the ultimate goal. It’s in the extras a lot of the time.

Because of my situation, I don’t have a lot of extra money to create really cool extras, but I do have a few things I can do… and I’m quite excited about it!

Note: All books are ebooks (epub, mobi, or pdf) unless specified as paperbacks.

Signed book plates:

Due to shipping limitations and costs, I won’t be doing signed paperbacks in bulk (There are 10 sets available total). However, I will be doing signed art book plates. These are signed stickers you put in your copy of your books, or on your laptop — anywhere you want! Each bookplate will have a different design for each novel, including Inquisitor!

Kill a Character:

So, you want to live forever in a novel, do you? Now is your chance… sort of. I will kill a character of your creation and naming, in one of the upcoming Witch & Wolf novels. Pick your perk wisely… and be prepared to be murdered in a gruesomely creative fashion.

I will send each contributor of this perk level a template for information relating to the character being killed.

Note: Due to legalities, it will be necessary for each contributor of the kill-a-character perks to sign a very easy-to-decipher document stating I can use the character and name without risk of legal persecution.

This is to protect both of us.

Noooo, I want to survive!

Dying in fun, humorous, or gruesome fashions isn’t for everyone. Here’s your chance to have a character named by you for inclusion in one of the upcoming Witch & Wolf novels. You’ll get to survive the events of the novel… and the character named by you will get at least one speaking line.

Once again, due to legalities, you’ll have to sign a little piece of paper to cover both of our asses from legal nastiness.

Note: If you want to name your character after a real person, that person will need to give their permission.

Due to how the novels are written, there is limited space for character creation.

Create a Deity.. and a single worshiper of said divine being.

The Witch & Wolf world is full of magic, mayhem, and wonder… and belief is a powerful thing.

This perk level will allow you to create the basics for a deity, which I will then pervert and use to fit the Witch & Wolf world.

Note: Legalities again, so you’ll have to sign a little piece of paper permitting me to take this idea and mangle it to fit the Witch & Wolf world.

Art Prints

Some of us love art a lot, and my cover artist makes fantastic art. I will have perks dedicated to the cover art from the Witch & Wolf series, for those who want something a little more physical.

Advanced Copies

Can’t wait for the official release date? This perk will let you get an ecopy of the book at the same time the advanced reviewers do… without being required to provide a review.

How you can help

There are lots of ways you can help without spending a single cent. First, share this with your friends and family. Know someone who loves thriller or urban fantasy novels? Tell them about the books!

Sharing is a great way to help make people aware of the project.

Click +1/like/etc, if you think it’s worth while.

Do you use pinterest, facebook, or twitter? Use Indiegogo’s sharing tools to spread the world.

Have an idea for a perk you’d like to see? Please let me know!

Thanks so much for your help. It’s really appreciated.

Random Rambles: Fighting and Writing through Depression

Depression is not a laughing matter.

It’s an illness, and one that too many scorn others for enduring. It’s not just feeling sad. Feeling sad is perfectly natural, as is grieving, having down periods, or just not having a good day.

Depression is when those feelings intensify, don’t go away, and suck all of the joy out of life. It can last hours.

More often than not, it lasts days, months, and sometimes even years.

This post is for those who suffer from depression, no matter how mild or severe. This post is for those who don’t, too.

Mostly, however, this post is for me, so I can get it out and speak, because the silence hurts as much as the depression does.

I’m not looking for attention, so don’t feel like you have to reply. Listening is enough. Speaking is what I need to do, to maybe help climb out of the hole I’m in. This may be uncomfortable for some of you, but I’m going to be me: Honest.

It’s okay if you walk away, I don’t mind. But if you stay, thanks for listening.

I suffer from mild depression. I’ve been to counselling in the past. I’ve been told I should buck up, to stop acting like a child, and to feel happy. After all, I’m in total control of my emotions, aren’t I? I should have the ability to just shut off all of these negative emotions and be the happy, motivated, joyful person I am supposed to be.

The syndrome is often called bi-polar, or manic depressive syndrome. It means that instead of having a stable set of emotions with normalized up and down phases, I take these things to extremes.

One minute, I’m a joyful, happy, motivated, kind, and gentle person.

That can change in seconds, leading to all of the darkness and unpleasant thoughts people don’t expect from me. It means I sit in a corner, cry, and be completely incapable of doing anything. I can become extremely violent as well, although I’ve learned to control those tendencies.

It’s been years since I’ve punched a wall.

But mostly, I suffer from depression. That’s when even breathing can be too much work.

When this happens, I’m smothered by feelings of helplessness. No matter what I do, it just isn’t good enough. The hole is deep, endless, and unconquerable. Worse still, there is the incessant thought that I deserve to be there. During those times, I feel I live because living is a punishment, and no punishment is strong enough for someone as worthless as I am.

That’s just scratching at the surface.

Between the basement flooding, an incorrect payment to a government agency, a broken pool, inefficient air conditioning, a car that needed major repairs, and a lot of other things, I’ve been fighting with depression again.

Often, people admire me because of my work ethic. And right now, when I’m just starting to crawl my way out of the abyss, all I can feel is guilt.

I hadn’t written a thing for over two weeks. I got back in the saddle, briefly, last night. Today, I got back in the saddle again, and I rode for a little longer. Words were written. Editorial for clients was done. I edited some of Winter Wolf.

I considered — and am still considering — a kickstarter for the Witch & Wolf series. If I can convince myself that it is worth the effort, and that I might have enough fans to make it worth while.

Life has started coming back together, instead of being on hold, frozen in a stream of financial woes, sewage floods, insurance hassles, and things blowing up in my face.

Writing through depression isn’t easy. It’s painful. Every word is a little like nails down a chalkboard, if you’re weak against that sort of thing. I am. It’s hard. It’s hard to describe, too, especially to someone who has never experienced actual depression.

It isn’t something I can just lift my chin, stand back up, and walk away from. ‘Normal’ people tell me that’s exactly what should happen. That’s the keyword… what should happen.

The above paragraph, I initially wrote in the second person. Then I stopped, considered, and changed it to first. It’s something I need to face. I’m not normal, and likely never will be. I suffer from depression, and depression is an illness.

Depression is an illness because what should happen doesn’t.

I can’t speak for everyone — or anyone other than myself — but it’s pretty horrible when I hear someone tell me how I should feel, and I try… and fail.

Then I try and fail again, over and over, until something so easy and simple, like being happy, becomes some lofty goal, like climbing to Everest’s death zone and living to tell the tale.

And when those brief moments of actual happiness come around, it’s a shock, and it’s scary, because after so long fighting the depression, it’s hard to know what I’m supposed to do when I’m happy.

Usually, I express my happiness, I get excited…

… and then I get told I’m an annoyance and nuisance for being excited, happy, and outgoing.

Being happy is a crime, and when depression strikes, it’s a sin; it’s a black mark against me, because I can’t be happy like everyone else, in a way that is deemed socially acceptable.

In response, I wear masks. I throw myself at my work. Because being praised for my work ethic is something I can cling to.

It’s something I’m good at.

So, what does the fighting and writing have to do with depression, as the subject implies?

I fight my depression through writing. Yes, sometimes I use it as pure escapism. I throw myself at these characters and write their lives so I can escape my own.

I forget I’m depressed for a little while.

That focus so many of you admire, that work ethic I’m often complimented on, is a coping mechanism for my life.

Instead of medications, I write.

Instead of counselling, I write.

Instead of wallowing, I write.

But what happens when I can’t write?

The past two weeks have been hard. I’ve cried, at least a little, most days. I look at my basement, put on a mask, and try to pretend everything will be okay.

I look at amazon at bar stools and other things I can’t afford, thinking how nice it would be if I could have those things for a basement that hasn’t been refinished yet.

It’s still bare concrete, with some evidence of 1970s linoleum on the floor. There is still a Hep A filter running its little heart out downstairs because the only thing between the basement and the sewage lines are a few rags.

I don’t know how the budget will be. So many things I owned were destroyed from sewage contamination.

The contractors haven’t gotten back to me with an estimate to see how the budget will be. There’s so many unknown things, and the unknown is very scary.

I have managed to keep enough money for my editors and things squirreled away for the immediate future, but the rest is up in the air. Unknown.

I’m supposed to go on vacation sometime in the very near future. Another unknown. I can’t afford to go, and I can’t afford to not go. I can’t get back the money I invested in this trip well over half a year ago, when our finances were looking really good.

They aren’t looking really good anymore. We’ll be pinching pennies on the trip, but we’ll go.

For eight days, I’ll try to pretend I’m happy. Who knows? Maybe I’ll somehow break free of the depression smothering me long enough to actually be happy.

I’m planning to write in soothing places, near pools, at cafes, in quiet corners, anywhere I can… because I’ll be free.

For a little while.

Fight on, me. Fight on.

And if you also suffer from depression, all I can say is this:

Fight on.

I understand.

Random Rambles: Broken Pool, Basement Flooding, Plot Twists, Oh my…

I think the subject of this post pretty much covers my day. The pool is still broken. We redid the wiring, but power surges knocked the breaker, so something is still wrong with the pool somewhere. We had the pool running for a grand three minutes, and the breaker blew when I shut it off to do maintenance.

General thoughts on that? I give up. I’m going to start seeing what is involved in filling the pool in. If I can get a permit, then gradually fill it in gravel and soil bag by gravel and soil bag, I’m set. I’d probably break the concrete up with a jack hammer, then fill it in with a mixture of gravel, rock, and sand, then do the last 3 feet with dirt.

If I can get the permit, and the town allows people to fill in pools like that. Otherwise? I’m gonna drain the sucker, slice the vinyl, and leave it empty. With a little luck, it’ll ‘pop’ when we empty it. Then we’ll take our new little saw and cut the damned thing into itty bitty pieces. >.<

Or something.

It costs as much to remove a pool as it does to install one, apparently.

Then my basement flooded. I have about a cm of standing water on my ceramic tiles. At least I have a 6 inch ceramic line along the floor, so the good news? Not nearly as much wall damage as I COULD have. The bad news? There’s some water damage.

We have no idea what caused it. I’m going to acquire a shop vac tomorrow and clean it up, then I’m going to run various sources of water in the house until the source of the misery is identified. Then I can get it fixed.

Expecting a week to get the basement cleaned up and furniture moved around to allow for such an experiment.

The spot that flooded had all of the stuff we owned in storage, so there is a lot of ruined misc items. Joyous day!

This is where I’m supposed to cry “Plot twist!” and move on with my life… I think.

I want to go get a few lottery tickets. With this much bad karma headed my way, maybe I could have the luck to win a million bucks.

Then I’d take it, hire a renovation company, put the cats in boarding for 2 weeks, and come back to a repaired house…

Today, life really sucks. I really don’t want to go back into the basement, but I should… at least to start cleaning what I can clean without getting near the flood zone.

Author Services Review: Amazon Countdown Deals (Inquisitor)

I’ve written about Amazon Countdown Deals before. In December of 2013, I ran a promotion right before Christmas. It worked extremely well. I have since learned that countdown deals, outside of the Christmas shopping period, are a double edged sword.

One edge of the blade is rammed somewhere very, very unpleasant. I’ll leave exactly where up to your imagination. I won’t lie, I got sales when I did the countdown deals promotion for Inquisitor. But, there seems to be an interesting phenomena with sales pricing that the countdown deals promotion illuminates very well.

Some disclaimers: I am not a bestselling author. I’m a small fry. I’m someone who is trying to become a career author. I’m not there yet. So, I have no complaints with being honest about the money I make–or the money I don’t make.

Maybe one day in the future, once I actually make an actual living from my writing, I’ll be less opened mouthed, but I suspect that’ll only be because I’m too busy trying to write books. Oh, who am I kidding? I’ll still write these posts. I just might be making minimum wage or more by then.

So, as I’m someone totally not experienced with being a career author, I make mistakes. Lots of them. This blog is a veritable graveyard of my bad decisions. It’s also a trophy case of when I get things right for all of the wrong reasons.

So, the set up: I started this countdown deal while amazon was actively promoting my novel in advertising mailers. This means I gave the book the optimal chance of doing well. I used the countdown deal hoping that the lower price would create a lot more sales, thus a lot more royalties for me.

I was wrong.

This is a chart showing the sales of all of my novels from the past 30 days. On May 16, you can see the release day spike. Only 14 of those sales belonged to Inquisitor, as I was running a countdown deal promotion on my other two novels. (They sold 14 and 10 copies respectively, resulting in 38 total sales.)

On May 28, Amazon started featuring my novel in a newsletter due to the surge of people adding Inquisitor to their wishlists. This was a direct result of the massive release-day promotion I did for the novel.

That was my best day of sales, with 83 sales and four borrows across all of my projects. From there, sales dipped. My second best day was the first day of my countdown deal, with just over 60 sales. While the sale figures stayed around 30 per day throughout the promotion, this didn’t equate to a lot in the way of royalties.

To give a basic idea of how this works, I need 23 sales to equate 10 regular-priced sales, roughly. During the $1.99 promotion, I needed a lot more sales.

The general trend seems to be if people want the book, they’ll buy the book. You lose some when priced at $5.99, but not that many. You’ll get a few extras from the price drop, but there seems to be a mentality that cheaper books are not as good, and so they don’t sell.

I tend to agree with this. On average, the books I buy? Cost $5.99 to $16.99 for kindle. Mostly closer to the $16.99 than the $5.99 bracket.

I picked $5.99 because I am aware my books could be better, and I feel this is a good value for the book.

Side Lesson learned: When it comes to promotion, go big or go home. Amazon promoting for you is really awesome. It looks like the email promotions Amazon was doing has ended though, so I’m on my way back to the black hole of obscurity.

Now, onto the promotion itself. If you can’t read the numbers, I will recap after the image.

For the week prior to the promotion, I made $601.20 in royalties. Through the entire week of the promotion, I made $399.27. I made one sale less during the promotion than the week prior. So, I sold fewer books for a notable cut in royalties.

I’ve had very similar experiences with non-Christmas countdown deals promotions.

Random Commentary: Princess thanks you for her four new balls, she is currently running around the house like a maniac. Your love for the kitties also bought them a new bottle of essence of cat nip. The other cats are writhing on the floor in feline bliss, their regular toys all sprayed.

No pictures, sorry. Their dignity is at stake, and they’d kill me if I ruined all of the dignity.

Back to the subject at hand: Countdown deals.

I decided, after seeing the general performance of these deals, that I would be going non-exclusive, hoping that Inquisitor’s little bit of popularity on Amazon will translate to increased sales on Google Play, Kobo, and Barnes & Nobles. No, I won’t be using Smashwords. I’ll probably use Draft2Digital.

We’ll see… but for now? I’m not sure exclusive with Amazon is the best bet. But we’ll find out in August, when I get a chance to see what the difference in sales as an exclusive author is versus non-exclusive.

Somewhere in this post, there is a point. I think the migraine killed it.

P.S.: The promotion for Inquisitor cost me somewhere around $538.

Character Development: Art Imitating Life Imitating Art

With the title of this post, I’ve probably made a few people twitch. How is character development related to the concept of art imitating life when life is imitating art?

People do that. Society creates art that imitates life to make it real, and in reaction to someone’s art, those people in turn imitate the art created by someone else. Sometimes the art is a song, a lyric relevant to life, something that promotes change. Sometimes the art is a painting that captures a feeling, but also promotes change. Sometimes it is a book, which in turn promotes change.

And when change is promoted, life begins to imitate the art that the change originated from.

Writers will often talk about their characters like they are living, breathing people who make decisions of their own.

Sometimes I talk about the decision-making process of my characters.

Time to offend at least a few of you: Your characters are figments of your imagination. They are art imitating life. Get over it (and yourself) and accept that your characters are creations of your imagination. Go ahead and call your imagination your muse if that makes you feel better, but the only one really responsible for your characters, and their actions, is you.

You are using art to imitate life, and in the process, as a result of cultural influences, you are life imitating art, be it in the form of music, movies, television, or literature.

Because your characters are not actually voices in your head, but the product of your imagination, you can control what they do, how they do it, when they do it, and justify every last choice they make. By saying that ‘your characters do what they want,’ you are also saying that you have no control over your writing, your art, your creativity, or your story.

You do. That’s just the sad truth. You don’t have a magical man in your head doing the work for you. You are.

And maybe that’s why your character isn’t doing what you need because you’re letting them ‘do what they want,’ which is just a pretty way of saying you’re not thinking through what your characters are doing.

When I say a character is not doing what I anticipated, that is because I, as an author, failed at my characterization, and I need to fix it. My character wouldn’t do what I originally thought they would. So I made the mistake and I realized it as I was trying to make my character do something someone of that trope type and circumstance wouldn’t do.

My characters don’t actually talk to me. I just use logic and their emotions to determine what they’d do. I hope that isn’t too disappointing. Take comfort in the fact there is a chance I may have looked at someone just like you and realized where my logic was wrong because people who are not me may not act like I think they should.

Yeah, that’s quite a bit to wrap your head around. Nutshell: Study people and remind yourself, each and every time your character makes a decision, that they are not you.

When I wrote Inquisitor, I was very deliberate in how I created all of my characters. These were distinctive people with their own personalities. I built every single one of those characters from an accepted trope type. Then I layered on a backstory that makes them unique to them, and adjusted their personalities on the way. I looked at their tropes, their modified personalities, their likes, dislikes, and fears, and I then I made them play by those rules.

But those rules changed each and every time they faced the consequences of their actions. That’s character development. That’s what you’re attempting to accomplish when you write a book with strong, solid characters. And not necessarily strong characters in the sense of overcoming every obstacle, being perfect, or so on. They’re strong because they act like people. They are art imitating life.

But they are also life imitating art–and that’s because of you, the writer.

You are the linchpin of your characterization.

When trying to learn how to draw real people, artists go out and watch people. Then they draw them. Writers are no different. Really, they aren’t. The best writers I’ve ever met share one thing in common: They are intrigued by real people.

They learn about people. They may not be good with people, but they know a lot about what makes a person tick. They study behavior. They study others. They sit, in their quiet corner, and watch. We call them introverts often enough. We question why an extrovert isn’t joining in the party, when they are watching, the gears in their brains turning, wondering why a person made the choice that they did.

They’re looking for the agenda of each and every person, calculating, and preparing to turn it into art. Their art. Their novels.

When I wrote Inquisitor, I cared about why my characters made the choices they did. I cared about what lengths a character would go for someone else. I cared about the methods they used to accomplish their goals. Each and every character, no matter how long they were on the scene, had a purpose. A goal. Something driving them. Some did the driving. Others were just in the way, consequential to what the others were doing.

If anything, Inquisitor is the story about how far a woman would go to fight for what she believes in, and in turn, how far others would go for that same woman. Some want her for their own devices. Some just want her. Some just want to protect her.

Some want to remove her from the picture. Some want to be in the pictures she has on her mantle.

But the story involves how many people react to the existence of one woman, and how they react to her. And what they’ll do for their own goals that involve her.

I didn’t write her to make her strong. I just made her human–or not, as the case often is.

I wanted to create a person with circumstance, so I did. I wanted to create a story about people.

People wrapped in a thriller blanket. And guns. And booms. And death. And some more death. With a side dish of death.

I made people from both ends of the spectrum. Some were hunters. Some were protectors. Some wanted to watch the fallout. Some wanted to be victims. Because in life, there are people who want to be victims… so they are.

I wanted my art to imitate life. Sometimes in the best ways, sometimes in the worst ways.

I find it is easy to write characters when I remember that I am trying to create a person. And when creating a person, the easiest way to approach it is to look at myself and what I am capable of. And that’s a scary thing, when I think about the types of characters I’ve written.

I can practically hear people pointing, gasping, and whispering, “Mary Sue!”

No.

Some writers go so far out of the way in their effort to completely remove themselves from their characters that they inevitably leave a blueprint of themselves in the pages. I don’t believe it is possible to completely cut yourself out of a novel, or out of a character. All of my characters, somehow, share a trait or two with me, however accidental this sharing of traits is.

Because they are art imitating life–mine. But they aren’t me, nor are they the purposeful insertion of me in my writing. They’re just the product of my life, my experiences, my observations, and my creativity.

Therefor, it is inevitable that there is something of me in there.

Here is where I tell you that you shouldn’t put yourself in your book as a character. Why? Realistically, we don’t really make all that good of a read. We’re too real.

Now I’ve gone and opened a can of worms, huh? Yeah. We authors are too real. Our characters are art. They exist because we created them. We can get away with stuff with our characters that real people may not ever be able to cope with. We can put them through the wringer, inflict mental, emotional, and physical damage to them a normal person would crumple under, and readers will bask in the glow of them overcoming challenges–while showing real emotions. While showing that real bit of life in their choices, actions, and ultimate development.

Character development is a pretty way of saying cause and consequence is left intact, and that your characters change as a direct result of their actions… and that they are purposefully making choices, decisions, and actions that impact them and others. They have motivations. They have goals… and they pursue them.

Or they don’t, and wish they had.

They’re people, but they’re people who are art, who imitate life, that in turn is the author’s attempt to turn life into art.

Are you stuck on how to build a character? Start small.

Pick a trait.

Then decide what someone with that trait would do in a situation.

Then look at your life, and if you had that trait, how would you deal with that situation?

Don’t just have your characters react, though. Reaction isn’t characterization. In Inquisitor, I made every event, every little plot device, be a result of what a character did. (Even if that wasn’t the result of what the main character did. A character was always a driving force behind the events in the story.)

The character with the best laid plan had the best chance of winning. And that character almost did win.

But that character did not comprehend, understand, or plan for how far someone would go for a friend or a loved one… and that is why they lost.

And in life, that often surprises us.

Writing good characterization is looking at all of the characters, their impact on each other, and getting a feel for just how far they would go to succeed at whatever little scheme or goal they have–even if that goal is survival.

Build your characters bit by bit… and remember that tropes are your friend. If you understand why a trope is a trope, and what makes a trope tick, all you have to do is make the person an individual in that trope type, adding the little things that make them unique.

This is probably not the road map you wanted to making realistic characters.

There isn’t one. None of us can tell you how to create your characters, because your characters are all a direct result of your imagination. And we aren’t you.

But we know people.

And we sympathize with people we can understand. And that all begins with a trope that you make unique to you.

And do try to put your characters in the lead, in the saddle, driving the story. Because characters who never do anything, and only react to what happens around them, are boring.

We tend to call these real life versions of this person a lot of mean things. We blame them, fault them for making their own bad luck, and we accuse them of being lazy. We tell them to ‘go do something about it!’

When I created Vicky, I asked myself a question about life–about people.

Then I took her, found the trope that fit, and chased after the answer. I gave her life circumstances. I gave her motivations and goals. I gave her something worth living for. I gave her someone worth living for.

For those who have read Inquisitor, you know what happens next.

And I chased after the possibilities. And with each and every character I introduced, I did the same for them, treating each and every one of them like they could become the main character of the story.

Because a story isn’t about the life of one character. It never is, unless the character has been locked in a cell without ever having met another person.

And that, in and of itself, is a story all of its own.

Random Rambles: Migraines, Failures, Gemstones, and Productivity

I guess in a way this is a writing-related post, but I’m delving into this with a migraine. If you’ve never had a migraine, don’t wish for one. Just don’t. Save yourself. Today’s is a mild one. I took medicine, which is settling the actual pain in my skull to a warning twinge, a constant reminder of the doom that awaits me when the medication wears off.

I finished the outline notes for Blood Diamond, book three of the Witch & Wolf series. That’s right. I have the completed outline notes for book three.

I’m looking at a first quarter release for the third book. I’m excited! Winter Wolf will be drafted starting tomorrow. I haven’t decided what my goal is, but I may settle for ‘one scene per work day’ while I address other important things, like client editorial.

Here’s where the failure part comes in. I need to do client editorial work today, but with this twingy, evil, energy-sucking migraine, it isn’t happening. I feel terrible. Both physically and ethically. I’m going to get at least one chapter done for someone tonight, even if I have to trudge through hell and high water to do so.

The weather isn’t helping, I’ll just say that much.

If I were super ethics girl, I would be fighting through the pain and finishing all of the editorial work. However, because I have ethics, I won’t. I can’t do my clients justice. The one project I will work on because his edits are easy. We’ve been working together for multiple novels, and he is totally used to the days where I’m on pain medication and working. I can make funny comments, and he won’t be offended. I can’t do this with new clients. He’s used to me, my sense of humor, and knows when to ask me what I really meant if I send a note that makes sense only to me.

(By the way, these are among the absolute best business relationships out there. If you ever get an editor or a client you have that rapport with, try not to let them go. They’re true gems of priceless value.)

Speaking of gems, I love gemstones. I really love them. Here is a picture of one of my gemstones.

This is a citrine, an orange quartz-type gemstone. I bought it on ebay, because I loved its shade of orange. It’s considered a ‘junk’ gemstone. Not at all precious, like a diamond or a ruby.

But I love citrines.

This is an absolutely terrible photograph, but here is a large chunk of my small stones collection.

I am making a vow to myself to add one new stone to my collection every $500 I make in royalties. (One stone costs anywhere between 5-20 bucks.)

Accepting donations to my dragon hoard. Teeheheheee. For the curious, the bottom row features many citrines. The blue stone is a topaz, as are the three stones next to it. The red stone is a blood-red garnet. The bright blues are turquoise.

In the next row, I can’t remember, I can’t remember, my tanzanites (those are the purple stones next to the moon stones on the right hand side), then there are a bunch of moonstones my mother gave me. Then I start forgetting what everything is. I have the names of most of them written on the bottom of the containers.

Yes, the big cluster of tiny white stones on the right side, middle row are diamonds.

There are two really interesting batches of stones in this box. In the top row, you can see one little white, round stone. That is a clam pearl. Clam pearls are rare. Oysters are your pretty pearl producers. Clam pearls are unwanted, they do not have luster like oyster pearls do.

I found this one in my dinner one day. Bit on it, just about gagged, and fished it out of my clam chowder. Had to look it up online because, you know, random hard, white, and round thing in my clam chowder. My homemade clam chowder.

Clam pearl. It’s a rare find. Glad I didn’t break my teeth.

Second rare set of stones in that box is a matched set of alexandrites. For their size, not cheap. When you put them in different types of light, they change colors. It’s really cool. I like them a lot. They are the ‘bleh’ colored stones on the left side above the four turquoise.

Okay, enough about one of my obsessions. Onto the productivity and failure part of this rambles. We’ll ignore the fact I talked about failure once already, okay? That’s the migraine. I forget things when my head hurts, even though it’s something I wrote about five hundred words ago. This is why I try not to edit while migraining. Migraining is now a verb.

Failure builds character, or some crap like that. Frankly, failures suck. What does failure do? You know, beyond make you think you’re completely worthless and should be run over by a transport?

It can, if you choose, provide motivation. I hate failing. I hate being a failure. When I fail, it’s like someone lights a candle under my ass and holds my favorite treats out of reach. I can’t jump to get my treats or my ass’ll catch on fire. So no treat, and a hot butt.

Not cool. Nope, nope, nope. It’s the emotional equivalent of the nopefish. If you haven’t seen the nopefish… just don’t. Nope, nope, nope.

To be fair, I worked from 9 AM to 5 PM with very few stops. I reached a very important goal. I was productive today. I just wasn’t as productive as I wanted to be.

And tomorrow, I’ll do better. Or I’m going to start beating my head into a wall. Because I do not like failure.

If I could give anyone a single piece of advice today, it would be this: Make failure your arch nemesis. Tactical nuke its ass. And when you do fail… don’t get mad. Get event.

Every productive day is a victory you can embrace, claim, and enjoy.

The failures? The fuel for your fire. It won’t take away the pain of defeat, but it makes the next victory all the much sweeter.

People say I’m a writing machine. If I were a machine, I wouldn’t have emotions, and I wouldn’t try to do better.

I try to live doing better each day… and I fail often.

I just stand back up.

You can too.