Erica M. Christensen's Blog, page 104

I’ll Never Forget

I’ll never forget the way your fists put me in my place day after day.

Or the way your words shot through my chest like bullets every chance you could take.

I’ll never forget the way your knife slowly slid in between my ribs after the little snap of the blade breaking my porcelain skin.

Or the time you put the knife to my throat as you laughed and said it was just a joke.

I’ll never forget the smile on your face as you applauded my tolerance for pain as blood streamed down my face.

I’ll never forget the feeling of being slammed into your concrete floor,

or the deafening sound of your screams as you swore you’d always love me more.

I’ll never forget pissing my pants and vomiting all over your couch after you choked me until I blacked out.

I’ll never forget the way you held me after pushing me down your basement stairs and the way you softly whispered that everything would be okay, because you’d always be right there.

I’ll never forget the promises you made, because every promise was always the same.

You promised and promised and promised things would change.

I had always forgiven you and stayed right by your side.

I’ll never forget how easily you swayed me into believing in all of your excuses and all of your lies.

I’ll never forget the reflection of my broken smile as I covered up my cuts, bruises and black eyes.

And I’ll never forget the look on your face the day I finally walked away, because you never saw it coming and neither did I.

So was it Luck who brought you in my life?

Good or bad, I’ll never know.

Maybe it wasn’t Luck at all.

Maybe you were just a blessing in disguise.

-e.m.c

I Can’t Imagine

I can’t imagine what it’s like to be gay. Being hated for loving and told you should be ashamed. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be gay. Being degraded and pushed away as if being gay is contagious. This world is outrageous. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be gay. Loving someone so deeply, but feeling like you could never say. Hidden in the closet you stay. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be gay. Seeing straight couples marry and have children everyday, yet being looked down upon for wanting the same. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be gay. Feeling uncomfortable in your own skin because narrow-minded fools say being gay is a sin. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be gay, because I was born straight and it’s always been okay. I can’t imagine what it’s like to be gay. Being born gay, and being told I chose to be that way.

-e.m.c

Your Eyes

Your eyes speak the words that never escape the tip of your tongue.

I know you’re done.

Trust me.

You don’t need to say a thing.

Your eyes are loud enough to make my ears bleed.

-Erica M. Christensen

She’s Crazy

He saw things in her you’re incapable of seeing,

You’re too shallow to see that deep.

He felt the spark when she talked about her passions,

You just think they’re unreachable dreams.

He held her when she cried,

You sat there and sighed.

He never failed to kiss her before he fell asleep.

With you she goes to sleep alone.

You feel suffocated,

He felt loved.

He was crazy about her,

But she’s crazy about you.

-Erica M. Christensen

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Remember

Those were the days.
We’d play in the rain,
Dance together in empty parking lots.
Then I’d forget all of the pain,
It was you,
You brought my smile to life again.
Remember?
We’d kiss until our lips went numb.
Drive around aimlessly all night long, 
Jamming to our favorite songs.
We’d sneak in your back door,
Down the basement stairs we’d creep.
Once in your bedroom,
We’d become one beneath the sheets.
So young and so carefree.
Do you remember?
Those were the days.

- Erica M. Christensen

Home

The sun rises and shines,
Through the window,
Into my eyes.
It’s so beautiful, 
But it blinds.
I roll over in hopes of seeing you,
And the sun glistening upon your skin.
But, I’m left with empty sheets again.
When will you come home for good?
If I could bring you home I would.

- Erica M. Christensen

Simplicity

Simplicity,
It’s nothing but a mystery.
Simple,
Simple you say.
You want simple.
Simplicity,
It’s going to be the death of me.
You drive me crazy.
Nothing less,
But a little more.
It’s simple,
Like opening a door.
Dropping a fork on the floor.
It’s simple.
It’s being with you,
But wanting more.

-Erica M. Christensen

j’aime la musique

I love the way music turns my toes into little marionettes.

I love the way songs can grasp my soul and steal my breath.

I love the way lyrics speak the words I can never find.

I love the way time stops and it all clears my mind.

-Erica M. Christensen

Your Love

Saturate me with infatuation
Make me believe.
Twist your words,
Manipulate my mind.
Breathe me in,
And desecrate me.
Knock me down,
And lift me up.
Again and again,
I crave your love.

- Erica M. Christensen