Tracey Ward's Blog, page 9
August 30, 2013
Sneak Peek - In the End
I'm having so much fun writing Jordan's POV that I felt like sharing. He's going through a lot of stuff right now and he's about to go through a whole lot more...
One of the things I love about this family is the silent stoicism. Unless I’m doing something monumentally deadly crazy whacked out stupid, they let nature run its course and respect my process of doing dumbass things to the point that I’m sick of myself or too jacked up to keep doing them. Or until I find my turning point.
I tell Syd where I’m going to go, make my awkward temporary farewell to him and drop anchor behind a row of bushes. I’m crouching down, pants around my ankles, whistling the theme song to Spongebob (we all have our bathroom rituals, respect mine) when I hear a rustling behind me. It could be a bird, it could be a squirrel, it could be Bambi. Hell, it could be a Deliverance style yokel, but odds are firmly in favor that it’s a zombie.
I reach for my hatchet, cursing myself for putting it down in the first place but my pants weren’t going to unzip themselves, and I spin on my heels. I have just enough time to see him coming. Just enough heads up to get in position, for him to burst through the bushes and launch himself at me. The good news is that I’m low to the ground, crouched into a ball and most of me isn’t out there for the taking, begging to get bit. He almost flies over me and misses me entirely, but he’s fast which means he’s still relatively smart and he grabs onto me at the last second. We both go tumbling back, landing in the small clearing outside my makeshift commode and my head hits the compact dirt hard. I see stars flare out across my eyes, blotting out the tree tops swaying over the night sky. I blink furiously, the skin of my palm slippery with fear sweat as it holds tight to the hatchet.
“Syd!” I cry out.
I hear his feet immediately pound toward me and I know he’ll be here any second.
He may as well have been on the other side of the moon.
The infected has recovered before me because he didn’t hit his head, he isn’t relying on sight in this darkness and he just doesn’t care. Not about anything other than me and my flesh. I hear him scuttle over the sticks and leaves on the forest floor between us, closing the gap that was never big enough. My eyes are adjusting, I’m groaning and trying to rise or run or roll, but it doesn’t matter. He gets ahold of me anyway.
As he grabs my hand, his fever hot skin grinding against mine and his grip like steel shackles on my wrist, I know the score. I know I’m going to die here like this, lying on my back still half blind with my pants pinned to my shins and my junk exposed to the world. It’s not dignified and it’s not right, not by a long shot. I’ve come so far and to go out now like this? With Ali looking at me like I might be me again and part of me actually believing it too? What the hell kind of justice is that?
In an instant I’m burning with rage, growing hotter than the infected son of a bitch drooling on my hand. I know that I’m not dead yet, I’m not done and I will do whatever it takes to keep it that way. I cry out when he sinks his teeth into my hand, but it’s not with pain. It’s anger, pure and simple. I let it take the wheel and my arm, my free arm with my brand new, sharp as shit blade, is already making an arc across my body. I close my eyes and picture Ali by the firelight. Then I take her advice. I do what she told me.
I do what I’ve gotta do.
One of the things I love about this family is the silent stoicism. Unless I’m doing something monumentally deadly crazy whacked out stupid, they let nature run its course and respect my process of doing dumbass things to the point that I’m sick of myself or too jacked up to keep doing them. Or until I find my turning point.
I tell Syd where I’m going to go, make my awkward temporary farewell to him and drop anchor behind a row of bushes. I’m crouching down, pants around my ankles, whistling the theme song to Spongebob (we all have our bathroom rituals, respect mine) when I hear a rustling behind me. It could be a bird, it could be a squirrel, it could be Bambi. Hell, it could be a Deliverance style yokel, but odds are firmly in favor that it’s a zombie.
I reach for my hatchet, cursing myself for putting it down in the first place but my pants weren’t going to unzip themselves, and I spin on my heels. I have just enough time to see him coming. Just enough heads up to get in position, for him to burst through the bushes and launch himself at me. The good news is that I’m low to the ground, crouched into a ball and most of me isn’t out there for the taking, begging to get bit. He almost flies over me and misses me entirely, but he’s fast which means he’s still relatively smart and he grabs onto me at the last second. We both go tumbling back, landing in the small clearing outside my makeshift commode and my head hits the compact dirt hard. I see stars flare out across my eyes, blotting out the tree tops swaying over the night sky. I blink furiously, the skin of my palm slippery with fear sweat as it holds tight to the hatchet.
“Syd!” I cry out.
I hear his feet immediately pound toward me and I know he’ll be here any second.
He may as well have been on the other side of the moon.
The infected has recovered before me because he didn’t hit his head, he isn’t relying on sight in this darkness and he just doesn’t care. Not about anything other than me and my flesh. I hear him scuttle over the sticks and leaves on the forest floor between us, closing the gap that was never big enough. My eyes are adjusting, I’m groaning and trying to rise or run or roll, but it doesn’t matter. He gets ahold of me anyway.
As he grabs my hand, his fever hot skin grinding against mine and his grip like steel shackles on my wrist, I know the score. I know I’m going to die here like this, lying on my back still half blind with my pants pinned to my shins and my junk exposed to the world. It’s not dignified and it’s not right, not by a long shot. I’ve come so far and to go out now like this? With Ali looking at me like I might be me again and part of me actually believing it too? What the hell kind of justice is that?
In an instant I’m burning with rage, growing hotter than the infected son of a bitch drooling on my hand. I know that I’m not dead yet, I’m not done and I will do whatever it takes to keep it that way. I cry out when he sinks his teeth into my hand, but it’s not with pain. It’s anger, pure and simple. I let it take the wheel and my arm, my free arm with my brand new, sharp as shit blade, is already making an arc across my body. I close my eyes and picture Ali by the firelight. Then I take her advice. I do what she told me.
I do what I’ve gotta do.
August 25, 2013
Sleepless on Sale + Excerpt from Ch. 41
Sleepless
is on sale for only $0.99 on Amazon for the next couple of weeks!
If you enjoyed Until the End you should check it out. Both are full of dry humor and loveable characters fighting for their freedom.
Zombie Disclaimer: Sleepless has far less zombies. As in no zombies, but there is a mad scientist so I feel like it balances out.
Excerpt from Sleepless:
This office is too clean.
Anyone in the medical profession should have a clean, orderly office. It helps put people at ease. It encourages them because if you can keep your pens and Post-its in order, chances are good you can find their pancreas without killing them. I understand why the office is clean.
But this office is too clean. There's not a speck of dust anywhere. There are no personal pictures on the walls, no certificates from prestigious medical schools. There's not even a computer on the desk. There are books on shelves, but I can’t read the spines. I wonder if I pulled one out, would it be real or would it be hollow cardboard.
That's Red Flag #1.
"This place makes me nervous." I mutter, shifting in my seat.
My mom and I have been sitting here in matching leather chairs for over thirty minutes. I'm losing patience with this thing I don't actually want to be doing.
"It's nice. Cozy." my mom says, glancing around.
She's not wrong, it is nice. It has the decorative feel of a man's study. All dark wood and leather. But it's like it's trying too hard.
"I feel like there should be a moose head on the wall."
She grins. "Or a stuffed raven perched on the desk."
"Nevermore." I say in agreement.
She looks at me and it's the first time since we got here. Looking at my mother is like looking in a mirror. She's aging well, thank God. That bodes well for me. We have the same shiny, auburn hair and bone structure, but my dad is where I got my height. My mom is small and petite. Like Cara was.
"Do you still read a lot?" she asks, prompted by my Poe reference.
"Yeah, all the time."
Her face softens. "You always loved to read. You were such a smart kid."
My chest clenches. Instead of sad, I feel angry. "Turns out I was too smart, huh? Got to the point no one could understand me anymore."
She looks away quickly.
"He'll be here soon." she tells me sourly. As if she could possibly know that.
Turns out she’s right. Ten minutes later a man bursts through the door behind us, startling us both.
"Alexia, my dear!" he exclaims in a thick British accent. He comes around the room to stand in front of me, where he extends his hand to shake mine. I hesitate.
"Alex." my mom scolds under her breath.
"I’m sorry." I say quickly, remembering myself. I put my hand in his. It's cold.
"No need, no need." He clasps my hand firmly between both of his and looks directly into my eyes. His brown eyes are intense like Nick's and, like Nick, I feel this man misses nothing. He's older, probably in his sixties, very tall and wire thin. I imagine if he had hair it would be receding badly, but he's shaved it nearly bald. "I am thrilled to finally meet you."
I glance suspiciously at my mother. "How long have you been waiting?"
"Oh not long." he says lightly, then smiles. "But any time spent waiting for a beautiful woman is an eternity."
My mom glows at his charm.
He’s smiling down at me, still clasping my hand and I clear my throat pointedly. His smile changes, becomes tight. But then he squeezes my hand again and lets me go.
“Shall we begin?” He crosses the room to sit behind the large oak desk. There’s a single file sitting in the center, practically the only thing on the desk. He opens it with a flourish. “Alexia Marie Mills. According to your mother, you have been sleepwalking since you were… four years old?”
I look at my mom.
“You called it sleepwalking?”
She scowls at me and it sparks a sense of déjà vu. Yeah, I know that look well.
“We can use your word if it makes you happy.” she says, already exasperated with me. She speaks to Dr. Evans. “She prefers to call it Slipping.”
He looks at me curiously. “Interesting. And why do you call it that?”
I take a calming breath, but what I want to do is run. I don’t want to talk about this. I just recently had to talk about it with Nick and he only believes me because he lived it. I’m still in shock that he didn’t go running for the hills to hide from me. I’m also remembering what Nick said about being locked away in a psych ward. It suddenly seems very realistic that that’s where this is heading.
“Alexia,” Dr. Evans begins, closing my file slowly.
“Alex.” I blurt out.
He grins. “Miss Mills. I want you to know that I believe you. Wholly, one hundred percent believe you. Your mother,” he says, gesturing to her. “Believes you as well. She’s seen it with her own eyes. You’re not spinning fantasies. We know that. When you sleep, your brain takes over and without your permission it removes you from your reality and inserts you into another. It takes you from Point A to Point B in a matter of seconds, regardless the distance. Am I correct?”
My chest is rising and falling rapidly, my breath coming short and fast. I nod my head sharply. He picks up the folder again and scans it.
“Why do you believe me so easily?” I ask breathlessly.
He waits a moment before returning his eyes to mine, but when he does they’re surprisingly earnest.
“I have seen things that defy logic. That defy nature, science and God himself. The world is indeed a strange and mysterious place, but not nearly so strange nor mysterious as the human mind. There are alleys and avenues of the brain that we will never understand. There are those that we thought we had sorted, only to find out a decade or a day or just a minute later that we know nothing. In my studies, however, I have found that in failure there is great discovery. Doors are thrown open that seemed locked, passages that we never dreamed of are suddenly paved before us and we need only have the wherewithal to explore them. It is here, exploring these secret, hidden paths that I have seen great secrets of the brain unlocked and witnessed the expanding of the capabilities of man.”
I swallow hard, staring at the impassioned man sitting across from me. I wonder if he’s brilliant or insane. Either way, he has my attention.
“You think you can help me explore my condition?” I ask him, feeling surprisingly hopeful.
He cocks his head at me curiously.
“Condition? Are you ill?” I don’t answer him. I hold his gaze and wait. I also think of Nick and all he’s taught me, even when he wasn’t trying. “You have no medical condition, Miss Mills. No malady. According to your records, you are a strong and healthy young woman who is also in possession of very unique capabilities. If you’ll allow me, I’d very much to explore with you the depth of those capabilities.”
It doesn’t escape my notice that he never mentions curing me. He has no intention of simply making this go away, and after his speech about the mysteries of the mind and throwing open doors, I’m nervous about letting him anywhere near my brain.
“I want to find a way to make this stop.” I tell him, my voice growing hard. “I’m not interested in digging deeper into it. I want it gone.”
He sighs lightly and leans on the desk, drawing closer to me. “If you were able to fly, would you want me to take that ability from you? Simply because it made you different?”
“I don’t want it gone because I’m concerned about being different. I want it gone because it’s ruining my life. And, yes, if I could fly but I couldn’t control it, I would want you to stop it. It’s dangerous and it’s going to get me killed one day.”
“What if I make you a deal?” he asks, his voice suddenly amiable. As though we were making a friendly wager on football and not my life.
“What kind of deal?”
“You come to my clinic and let me examine you. We spend some time researching your capabilities. We’ll find out why you can ‘Slip’ and in that process we’ll unlock the secret of how to stop it. At the very least, we’ll find a way to control it. I’ll get you your cure if you give me the time to discover the how and why of what you can do.” He extends his hand over the desk and raises an eyebrow in challenge. “Do we have a deal?”
“You’ll give me a cure for this? I have your word?” I ask him skeptically.
“If there is a cure to be had, you shall have it.” he assures me, but then raises his finger in warning. “Keep in mind, there may be no solution. You may come away empty handed and I may do the same. There’s every chance I will learn nothing from studying you because, as I have said, the mind is mysterious. She guards her secrets well.”
I glance at my mom. She smiles reassuringly. She thinks this is the best idea ever.
Red Flag #2.
I stick out my hand, which Dr. Evans takes greedily.
“You have a deal.” I tell him.
is on sale for only $0.99 on Amazon for the next couple of weeks!If you enjoyed Until the End you should check it out. Both are full of dry humor and loveable characters fighting for their freedom.
Zombie Disclaimer: Sleepless has far less zombies. As in no zombies, but there is a mad scientist so I feel like it balances out.
Excerpt from Sleepless:
This office is too clean.
Anyone in the medical profession should have a clean, orderly office. It helps put people at ease. It encourages them because if you can keep your pens and Post-its in order, chances are good you can find their pancreas without killing them. I understand why the office is clean.
But this office is too clean. There's not a speck of dust anywhere. There are no personal pictures on the walls, no certificates from prestigious medical schools. There's not even a computer on the desk. There are books on shelves, but I can’t read the spines. I wonder if I pulled one out, would it be real or would it be hollow cardboard.
That's Red Flag #1.
"This place makes me nervous." I mutter, shifting in my seat.
My mom and I have been sitting here in matching leather chairs for over thirty minutes. I'm losing patience with this thing I don't actually want to be doing.
"It's nice. Cozy." my mom says, glancing around.
She's not wrong, it is nice. It has the decorative feel of a man's study. All dark wood and leather. But it's like it's trying too hard.
"I feel like there should be a moose head on the wall."
She grins. "Or a stuffed raven perched on the desk."
"Nevermore." I say in agreement.
She looks at me and it's the first time since we got here. Looking at my mother is like looking in a mirror. She's aging well, thank God. That bodes well for me. We have the same shiny, auburn hair and bone structure, but my dad is where I got my height. My mom is small and petite. Like Cara was.
"Do you still read a lot?" she asks, prompted by my Poe reference.
"Yeah, all the time."
Her face softens. "You always loved to read. You were such a smart kid."
My chest clenches. Instead of sad, I feel angry. "Turns out I was too smart, huh? Got to the point no one could understand me anymore."
She looks away quickly.
"He'll be here soon." she tells me sourly. As if she could possibly know that.
Turns out she’s right. Ten minutes later a man bursts through the door behind us, startling us both.
"Alexia, my dear!" he exclaims in a thick British accent. He comes around the room to stand in front of me, where he extends his hand to shake mine. I hesitate.
"Alex." my mom scolds under her breath.
"I’m sorry." I say quickly, remembering myself. I put my hand in his. It's cold.
"No need, no need." He clasps my hand firmly between both of his and looks directly into my eyes. His brown eyes are intense like Nick's and, like Nick, I feel this man misses nothing. He's older, probably in his sixties, very tall and wire thin. I imagine if he had hair it would be receding badly, but he's shaved it nearly bald. "I am thrilled to finally meet you."
I glance suspiciously at my mother. "How long have you been waiting?"
"Oh not long." he says lightly, then smiles. "But any time spent waiting for a beautiful woman is an eternity."
My mom glows at his charm.
He’s smiling down at me, still clasping my hand and I clear my throat pointedly. His smile changes, becomes tight. But then he squeezes my hand again and lets me go.
“Shall we begin?” He crosses the room to sit behind the large oak desk. There’s a single file sitting in the center, practically the only thing on the desk. He opens it with a flourish. “Alexia Marie Mills. According to your mother, you have been sleepwalking since you were… four years old?”
I look at my mom.
“You called it sleepwalking?”
She scowls at me and it sparks a sense of déjà vu. Yeah, I know that look well.
“We can use your word if it makes you happy.” she says, already exasperated with me. She speaks to Dr. Evans. “She prefers to call it Slipping.”
He looks at me curiously. “Interesting. And why do you call it that?”
I take a calming breath, but what I want to do is run. I don’t want to talk about this. I just recently had to talk about it with Nick and he only believes me because he lived it. I’m still in shock that he didn’t go running for the hills to hide from me. I’m also remembering what Nick said about being locked away in a psych ward. It suddenly seems very realistic that that’s where this is heading.
“Alexia,” Dr. Evans begins, closing my file slowly.
“Alex.” I blurt out.
He grins. “Miss Mills. I want you to know that I believe you. Wholly, one hundred percent believe you. Your mother,” he says, gesturing to her. “Believes you as well. She’s seen it with her own eyes. You’re not spinning fantasies. We know that. When you sleep, your brain takes over and without your permission it removes you from your reality and inserts you into another. It takes you from Point A to Point B in a matter of seconds, regardless the distance. Am I correct?”
My chest is rising and falling rapidly, my breath coming short and fast. I nod my head sharply. He picks up the folder again and scans it.
“Why do you believe me so easily?” I ask breathlessly.
He waits a moment before returning his eyes to mine, but when he does they’re surprisingly earnest.
“I have seen things that defy logic. That defy nature, science and God himself. The world is indeed a strange and mysterious place, but not nearly so strange nor mysterious as the human mind. There are alleys and avenues of the brain that we will never understand. There are those that we thought we had sorted, only to find out a decade or a day or just a minute later that we know nothing. In my studies, however, I have found that in failure there is great discovery. Doors are thrown open that seemed locked, passages that we never dreamed of are suddenly paved before us and we need only have the wherewithal to explore them. It is here, exploring these secret, hidden paths that I have seen great secrets of the brain unlocked and witnessed the expanding of the capabilities of man.”
I swallow hard, staring at the impassioned man sitting across from me. I wonder if he’s brilliant or insane. Either way, he has my attention.
“You think you can help me explore my condition?” I ask him, feeling surprisingly hopeful.
He cocks his head at me curiously.
“Condition? Are you ill?” I don’t answer him. I hold his gaze and wait. I also think of Nick and all he’s taught me, even when he wasn’t trying. “You have no medical condition, Miss Mills. No malady. According to your records, you are a strong and healthy young woman who is also in possession of very unique capabilities. If you’ll allow me, I’d very much to explore with you the depth of those capabilities.”
It doesn’t escape my notice that he never mentions curing me. He has no intention of simply making this go away, and after his speech about the mysteries of the mind and throwing open doors, I’m nervous about letting him anywhere near my brain.
“I want to find a way to make this stop.” I tell him, my voice growing hard. “I’m not interested in digging deeper into it. I want it gone.”
He sighs lightly and leans on the desk, drawing closer to me. “If you were able to fly, would you want me to take that ability from you? Simply because it made you different?”
“I don’t want it gone because I’m concerned about being different. I want it gone because it’s ruining my life. And, yes, if I could fly but I couldn’t control it, I would want you to stop it. It’s dangerous and it’s going to get me killed one day.”
“What if I make you a deal?” he asks, his voice suddenly amiable. As though we were making a friendly wager on football and not my life.
“What kind of deal?”
“You come to my clinic and let me examine you. We spend some time researching your capabilities. We’ll find out why you can ‘Slip’ and in that process we’ll unlock the secret of how to stop it. At the very least, we’ll find a way to control it. I’ll get you your cure if you give me the time to discover the how and why of what you can do.” He extends his hand over the desk and raises an eyebrow in challenge. “Do we have a deal?”
“You’ll give me a cure for this? I have your word?” I ask him skeptically.
“If there is a cure to be had, you shall have it.” he assures me, but then raises his finger in warning. “Keep in mind, there may be no solution. You may come away empty handed and I may do the same. There’s every chance I will learn nothing from studying you because, as I have said, the mind is mysterious. She guards her secrets well.”
I glance at my mom. She smiles reassuringly. She thinks this is the best idea ever.
Red Flag #2.
I stick out my hand, which Dr. Evans takes greedily.
“You have a deal.” I tell him.
August 23, 2013
New Giveaway!
Dan Rix, author of the highly rated YA Sci-Fi romantic thrillers
Entanglement and
Broken Symmetry has graciously offered to do a giveaway for a free digital copy of Sleepless on his blog! Go to the link below to enter to win. If you already own Sleepless and enjoyed it, check out Dan's novels for a similar read. You won't be disappointed!
http://www.danrixauthor.com/2013/08/b...
Entanglement and
Broken Symmetry has graciously offered to do a giveaway for a free digital copy of Sleepless on his blog! Go to the link below to enter to win. If you already own Sleepless and enjoyed it, check out Dan's novels for a similar read. You won't be disappointed!http://www.danrixauthor.com/2013/08/b...
August 22, 2013
Sneak Peek of Dissever
"My young, overactive heart was in love with someone and something new every day of the week. Prince Frederick because he was older and wiser by three years, Duke Walburton because he was dashing and good with a sword, and even the memory of my first meeting with Roarke’s father was in my rotation of amorous intent. In my five year old mind at any given moment I was going to marry one or all of these great men. But the one constant that lay quietly beneath them all, never leaving me, was Roarke.
I have ever and always been perfectly and soundly in love with Ro."
-Annabel Lee, Dissever (coming soon! as soon as I get off the web and finish writing it...)
I have ever and always been perfectly and soundly in love with Ro."
-Annabel Lee, Dissever (coming soon! as soon as I get off the web and finish writing it...)
August 20, 2013
FREEEEEEE!!!
The giveaway for Until The End is finished and I sent out the books to the winners today. I'm really hoping they love them!
Today I also started the giveaway for Sleepless, the first in the Bird of Stone series. So if anyone likes free stuff and books about love, hate and superpowers, go enter to win it!
Today I also started the giveaway for Sleepless, the first in the Bird of Stone series. So if anyone likes free stuff and books about love, hate and superpowers, go enter to win it!
August 15, 2013
New Release - Sleepless
Sleepless
My second book is now live on Amazon.com! It's free today through Saturday so go grab a copy!
Sleepless is a new Paranormal Romantic Comedy about a girl with a superpower she doesn't want and a fearless boy who doesn't want anything to do with anyone. When they meet beside a frozen river, Alex is drunk and Nick is dead. This strange night sparks a relationship that will cross the ether, span the globe and expose a dark shared past that will threaten both their lives.
My second book is now live on Amazon.com! It's free today through Saturday so go grab a copy!
Sleepless is a new Paranormal Romantic Comedy about a girl with a superpower she doesn't want and a fearless boy who doesn't want anything to do with anyone. When they meet beside a frozen river, Alex is drunk and Nick is dead. This strange night sparks a relationship that will cross the ether, span the globe and expose a dark shared past that will threaten both their lives.
August 2, 2013
Italics why?
Dear Authors,
Please don't write your book entirely in italics. I don't care how wonderful it may be, I no longer care to read it. Why would you do this? Seriously why?
End of rant.
Please don't write your book entirely in italics. I don't care how wonderful it may be, I no longer care to read it. Why would you do this? Seriously why?
End of rant.
