R. Felini's Blog - Posts Tagged "income-disparity"
New Scientific Breakthrough to End Income Disparity – Wage Inequality!
New Scientific Breakthrough to End Income Disparity – Wage Inequality!
New Scientific Breakthrough to End Income Disparity
By INS Staff
“We now have the tool we need to end poverty.” according to Doctor Felini from the Bringham Order Of Brothers.
By combining technology with social psychology, scientists and lawmakers say they have a solution to a problem for most of the world. But the start will be in the United States.
“It is not necessary to travel to Africa to find poor people to experiment with,” says Dr. Felini, “we can find white, black and brown peoples living in total poverty right here in the good old US of A. For years we believed that everyone in America was doing fine and many rich Hollywood types were duped into traveling to foreign countries to find poor people suffering so they could help.”
Photo from security camera. Suspect identified by bystanders as “Scrooge”.
“But after extensive research funded by the taxpayer, studies have shown the poor are actually in this country, living and working.” according to Felini. BUT HOW?
Software spiders developed at University of Oxford can search the Internet for specific speech or comments made by public figures. The speech targeted will be concerning unemployment figures, job forecasts, job growth, etc. When the spiders locate the source it will be analyzed for content. If the content is the type to mislead, conceal poverty, offer glib moronic solutions, or act as propaganda for an organization or government, the speaker will be identified to the Bureau.
Under the new law, awaiting a final vote, any speaker who has been identified will automatically be subject to this penalty:
(Note: This material is the official wording and has not been altered for this report.)
Law 6759 Penalty Provision: The public figure speaker will have his or her daughter or son, of current working age, assigned to 20 years of working at the typical wage and typical job of the group the speaker spoke of. If no child is available, the speaker themselves will be required to take their place. If they refuse, the child or themselves can opt out by lethal injection to cause death within 1 hour. There will be no exceptions.
Official Example Number 1:
The President of the United States announces at a Press Conference “that 400,000 new jobs were created in the month of March.”
That statement is all that is needed to require her or his child to begin the sentence. In this case they would be required to begin work at a fast-food restaurant for minimum wage or a position at a retail store. Since the typical American works at a career where they can never rise above poverty, this type of job will be selected for them. If they refuse they will get to have the injection with their loved ones present.
So in this example the President’s daughter would be forced to live out her working life at a below living wage salary.
Official Example Number 2:
The President of the United States announces at a Press Conference “that 400,000 new jobs were created in the month of March. These jobs are crap that pay substandard wages and after taxes you will still need to visit a food pantry for help. Some or most are back-breaking and you should expect health problems for which you can’t afford medical care. Thank you. I have no further comment.”
In this second example the speaker would incur no penalty and his or her life can continue on as usual.
But we wondered about people like newscasters or reporters. Would they qualify under the new law?
“Yes. Any person who is known enough or can access millions of people is a person the spiders will watch, including so-called Bloggers.” said Dr. O. Saveyus of Oxford Institute.
“And I might add,” the Doctor said, “the penalty of lethal injection is not harsh as it first seems. You see lethal injection is a fast death and we now know that a lifetime of substandard wages is a slow death. So the penalty for one is the same as the other. It is just a question of how long death takes to occur.”
(Reporter’s note: laboratory rats have confirmed the Doctor’s comments. See Issue 7 of Consumer Death Magazine.)
Copyright © 2015 by R Felini
New Scientific Breakthrough to End Income Disparity
By INS Staff
“We now have the tool we need to end poverty.” according to Doctor Felini from the Bringham Order Of Brothers.
By combining technology with social psychology, scientists and lawmakers say they have a solution to a problem for most of the world. But the start will be in the United States.
“It is not necessary to travel to Africa to find poor people to experiment with,” says Dr. Felini, “we can find white, black and brown peoples living in total poverty right here in the good old US of A. For years we believed that everyone in America was doing fine and many rich Hollywood types were duped into traveling to foreign countries to find poor people suffering so they could help.”
Photo from security camera. Suspect identified by bystanders as “Scrooge”.
“But after extensive research funded by the taxpayer, studies have shown the poor are actually in this country, living and working.” according to Felini. BUT HOW?
Software spiders developed at University of Oxford can search the Internet for specific speech or comments made by public figures. The speech targeted will be concerning unemployment figures, job forecasts, job growth, etc. When the spiders locate the source it will be analyzed for content. If the content is the type to mislead, conceal poverty, offer glib moronic solutions, or act as propaganda for an organization or government, the speaker will be identified to the Bureau.
Under the new law, awaiting a final vote, any speaker who has been identified will automatically be subject to this penalty:
(Note: This material is the official wording and has not been altered for this report.)
Law 6759 Penalty Provision: The public figure speaker will have his or her daughter or son, of current working age, assigned to 20 years of working at the typical wage and typical job of the group the speaker spoke of. If no child is available, the speaker themselves will be required to take their place. If they refuse, the child or themselves can opt out by lethal injection to cause death within 1 hour. There will be no exceptions.
Official Example Number 1:
The President of the United States announces at a Press Conference “that 400,000 new jobs were created in the month of March.”
That statement is all that is needed to require her or his child to begin the sentence. In this case they would be required to begin work at a fast-food restaurant for minimum wage or a position at a retail store. Since the typical American works at a career where they can never rise above poverty, this type of job will be selected for them. If they refuse they will get to have the injection with their loved ones present.
So in this example the President’s daughter would be forced to live out her working life at a below living wage salary.
Official Example Number 2:
The President of the United States announces at a Press Conference “that 400,000 new jobs were created in the month of March. These jobs are crap that pay substandard wages and after taxes you will still need to visit a food pantry for help. Some or most are back-breaking and you should expect health problems for which you can’t afford medical care. Thank you. I have no further comment.”
In this second example the speaker would incur no penalty and his or her life can continue on as usual.
But we wondered about people like newscasters or reporters. Would they qualify under the new law?
“Yes. Any person who is known enough or can access millions of people is a person the spiders will watch, including so-called Bloggers.” said Dr. O. Saveyus of Oxford Institute.
“And I might add,” the Doctor said, “the penalty of lethal injection is not harsh as it first seems. You see lethal injection is a fast death and we now know that a lifetime of substandard wages is a slow death. So the penalty for one is the same as the other. It is just a question of how long death takes to occur.”
(Reporter’s note: laboratory rats have confirmed the Doctor’s comments. See Issue 7 of Consumer Death Magazine.)
Copyright © 2015 by R Felini
