Hollye Jacobs's Blog, page 9

Finding Silver Linings in 2015

The beginning of 2015 has sucked. Sucked as in, I really need a do-over. Or a a restart. Or something. I ended 2014 with the worst flu of my entire life. I’m not being dramatic. In fact, describing it as the worst flu of my life is really an under-exaggeration. (I didn’t want to worry you.)

Oh and the HOTY (Husband Of The Year) was out of f-bomb town!  On the heels of that (literally 15 minutes after my fever broke and I could swallow without it feeling like razor blades in my throat), one of my best friend’s husband died. Just died. In the morning, he was fine and by the afternoon, a heart attack had taken him from his family, friends and community. F-bomb. F-Bomb. F-bomb.

I felt like I had literally been run over by a truck.  I couldn’t stop crying. I felt numb. And exhausted. And irritable. And anxious. And lonely. And, of course, sad.

But you know what?  It was my friend – whose husband had just died – who looked for Silver Linings. Seriously, I about fell on the floor when she said, “Well, a Silver Lining was…”

Now that I have stopped coughing up a lung and my girlfriend is beginning to settle into her new f-bomb reality, I find myself thinking about the fact that we are nearly 1/2 way into the first month of 2015.

In January’s past, I have made resolutions such as reading more books, taking more yoga classes, and making more homemade dinners. But lets be honest… sometimes life gets in the way and many resolutions become history by the month of March (if not before!). Maybe not for you, but for me this seems to be the case.

This year – thanks to the catastrophes that have kicked off the year – I am changing things up a bit. Instead of making a resolution that is physically achieved, I want to make a resolution that further challenges and inspires my perspective and, most importantly, won’t dwindle away after a few months into the year.

So, here is what I’m thinking:  I am resolving to choose to find more Silver Linings in the year 2015 than ever before! I know that this is definitely a doable task for me and yet will continue to challenge me.

My experience with f-bomb breast cancer – and really every challenge that I face – has shown me the importance of finding Silver Linings in the darkest seasons of life.  Sometimes it seems like there could be no possible way that a Silver Lining exists in certain situations, but (believe me!) they do. I promise!

Now, remember:  they don’t take away the pain of a situation (e.g., diagnosis, death…), but they provide the balance, perspective and hope to get through…sometimes from one moment to the next.  This, my friends, is the essence of Silver Linings.

So please, join me in choosing to find Silver Linings in this New Year!

Here are a few ways to start:

Express gratitude for what you DO have in this moment
Smile often
Be playful. Put a bounce in your emotional step
Take breaks from technology
Express love, even to strangers
Sleep
Look at challenges as opportunities to learn and grow
Eat healthy, but treat yourself
Focus on the present
Exercise
Be open to change
Do what makes you happy
Simplify
Decide that no matter what you WILL find a Silver Lining

In what ways do you choose to find Silver Linings?

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Audrey Hepburn Beauty Tips

Audrey Hepburn gave the most incredible, the most wonderful beauty tips imaginable. I mean, really.  For her it was not about the surface; rather, it was about what lies beneath. This list makes me so happy and I hope that it does the same for you!

 

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Musical Monday: My Sisters and Brothers

Last week a dear friend’s husband died suddenly. Of a heart attack.  Yes, it is as tragic as it sounds. I am devastated. We are all devastated.  I’ll be writing more about it, specifically the grief process, but in the meantime, part of this beautiful Jerry Garcia song is being included in his obituary.  We cried when my girlfriend read it because it is so incredibly beautiful.

Keep the faith

When the storm flies and the wind blows

Go on at a steady pace

When the battle is fought and the victory’s won

We can all shout together, we have overcome

We’ll talk to the Father and the Son

When we make it to the promised land

Chorus

If we walk together, little children

We won’t ever have to worry

Through this world of trouble

We’ve got to love one another

Let us take our fellow man by the hand

Try to help him to understand

We can all be together

For ever and ever

When we make it to the promised land

Our bible reads

Thou shalt not be afraid

Of the terror by night

Nor the arrow that flies by day

Nor for the pestilence

That walketh in the darkness

Nor for the destruction

That waiteth in the noonday hour

[chorus]

This world is not our home

We are only passing through

Our trail is all made up

Way beyond the blue

Let us do the very best that we can

While we’re travelin’ through this land

We can all be together

Shaking a hand

When we make it to the promised land

[chorus]

When we make it to the promised land children

Make it to the promised land children

Make it to the promised land children

Make it to the promised land

When we make it to the promised land sisters

Make it to the promised land children

We can all be together, forever and ever

When we make it to the promised land

[chorus]

We can all be together, forever and ever

When we make it to the promised land

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This Weekend: Choose Personal Growth

Hellooooooo!  Whatta first (official) week of January it has been.  Between the flu and the death of a dear friend’s husband, I have been under the covers…figuratively, though I wish it were literally. Geesh.

Please forgive my absence.  I have so much to talk about and share.  This weekend, I am super excited about plopping down at my desk to reconnect (seriously. I’m excited).

In the meantime, wishing you a weekend of growth.  One thing that has been reiterated to me is that growth comes from the positive circumstances in life…and also the wretched challenges. Please continue to look for Silver Linings.

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10 Myths about Breast Cancer Survivorship

10 Myths about Breast Cancer Survivorship

Myths and “Old Wives Tales” are an inherent part of our culture. Sometimes it is hard to figure out what is fact and what is fiction. I often find myself pondering when I hear something outlandish or even something that sounds reasonably reasonable.  When it comes to FBC, there are many MANY myths floating around, especially in this life after cancer where so many of us are trying our darndest to prevent this f-bomb from coming back. But the Silver Lining is that cancer research is working hard to dispell these myths and it’s our job to spread the word!

Here are ten common breast cancer myths and the truths that lie behind them*:

MYTH: My deodorant contributed to my getting breast cancer. 

FACT: NO NO NO. This myth is defnintely false. There has been absolutely no scientific evidence.

MYTH: I should eat an organic diet to reduce my chances of recurrence. 

FACT: As much as I am all about eating as colorful and as organic as possible, there actually is no scientifically proven link between the consumption of non-organic foods and an increase risk of breast cancer. Shocking right?!! However, it’s still a good idea to eat organic fruits, veggies, and meat as much as possible to limit your exposure to pesticides and hormones.

MYTH: Eating soy products after having hormone receptor positive breast cancer increases my chance of a recurrence. 

FACT: Research on soy as been back and forth over the past years. Overall, natural dietary soy that comes in the form of soy bean sprouts, tofu, soy milk, or tempeh appears to be safe and can have health benefits if used as a replacement for animal sources of milk and protein. However, soy in a concentrated form is what you definitely need to stay away from!  Soy powders, pills, and supplements have the strongest potential to create estrogenic activity in your body. For me, I stay away from soy all together… just to be safe.

MYTH: If I tested positive for the BRCA1 or BRCA2 gene mutation, I must have a bilateral mastectomy. 

FACT: Women with a BRCA mutation do NOT need to get a mastectomy. Some women prefer it as a preventative measure, while others choose breast-conserving therapy. Women who have the BRCA gene need to be followed closely and are advised to have enhanced breast cancer screenings. The sooner you are aware, the better!

MYTH: Eventually, I will be able to stop my mammograms. 

FACT: Mammograms are always strongly suggested for the rest of your life unless you have had a bilateral mastectomy.

MYTH: I had breast cancer in the past so I should not become pregnant. 

FACT: It is recommended that you wait until you have completed all cancer treatments before trying to get pregnant in order to give your body rest. There is no specific amount of time you should wait to get pregnant after your treatments…it all depends on your body. Listen to it.

MYTH: Since my menstrual periods have not begun again and I am taking tamoxifen, I cannot get pregnant. 

FACT: Tamoxifen does not protect you from getting pregnant, even if your periods have no returned or they are irregular. This drug was orginally created as a fertility drug and has potential to harm the fetus. While taking tamoxifen, it’s advised to use a non-hormonal form of birth control every time you have sexual intercourse to protect you from pregnancy.

MYTH: If I’ve had a mastectomy, I cannot have a breast cancer recurrence. 

FACT: If you have undergone a bilateral mastectomy then you have drastically reduced your chances of recurrence. But there is still a very small chance that the residual breast tissue or cancer cells could recur on the chest wall. That is why self-breast exams and regular doctors visits are very important. If you have had a lateral (one sided) mastectomy you are still at risk for developing breast cancer on the other side. A yearly mammogram is important to continue in order to detect any changes. Keep in mind that neither type of mastectomy reduces your risk of developing cancer in other areas of your body.

MYTH: I should avoid weightlifting activites if I have lymphedema. 

FACT: A research study in 2006,  showed that women who engaged in moderate physical activity were no more likely to suffer from lymphedema than women who did not engage in weight lifting acitivies. However, keeping your body strong through regular phsyical activity is a great way to reduce your chance of having a breast cancer recurrence.

MYTH: Bone pain in my hips and knees must mean that my breast cancer has spread. 

FACT: Thinking that your cancer has spread is very common and can be very scary. But the reality is that a common side effect of aromatase inhibitors (drugs that stop the production of estrogen) is bone pain and joint stiffness. This can happen gradually over the years or very shortly after you start taking the drug.

* From Johns Hopkins Medicine

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Happy New Year 2015

Happy New Year!  As much as I wish that this had been me last night. It wasn’t. I wasn’t. Quite honestly, I am writing this from my hotel room cave (as I’m calling it) because I am sick as a dog on our family vacation. Literally I cannot peel myself off of the couch and go to the beach with my family.  While I am feeling quite grumpy and a wee bit sorry for myself, I am also looking for Silver Linings because WTF else do I have to do right now other than cough up a lung?

My first Silver Lining is the acknowledgment – yet again – of how vulnerable health is and that when push comes to shove, our bodies will stop us when we need to be stopped.  I was pretty under the weather before Christmas and instead of allowing myself to fully heal, I went full steam ahead when I was only about 75% recovered.  Geesh. What a bafoon I can be! As Maya Angelou brilliantly said, “If you don’t learn something the first time, the lessons will get bigger and bigger.” Well, I am learning the lesson now, at the cost of a missed New Years Eve beach party and a day at the beach with my family. Did I already mention that? Sorry. Remember: I’m feeling a wee bit sorry for myself.

Another Silver Lining is having the alone time to reflect on 2014 and think about 2015.  Here are some of the questions that I am going to ask myself and write about in my journal:

What was something from 2014 that you’ll remember for the rest of your life?
What was the nicest thing that someone did for you?
What was the nicest thing that you did for someone else?
Who came into your life? Who left it? Who re-emberged?
What were your best accomplishments and achievements?
What was your biggest disappointments?
What was the best surprise?
What were your favorite moments of 2014?
What was the single most significant event of the year?
Name a minimum of 3 Silver Linings in 2014.

Another Suggestion: Consider listing all the things in your life of which you’d like to let go—literally anything you no longer want. Give thanks for what they’ve brought you in terms of learning and usefulness and then burn the list. It’s a symbolic gesture to help you release the old and be open to the new. I really love this idea!  And then after, the next step is to list what you do want—experiences, knowledge, material things, relationships, healings, whatever.…go for it!  This isn’t a quiz or a test. No one has to see it. Just you.  This is an incredible gift to give yourself (especially if you happen to be under covers, drinking tea and blowing your nose!).

The biggest Silver Lining of all is that I just have a cold, albeit a nasty one, but it is just a cold. I have a dear friend who – on Monday – had her 5th round of chemo and worse yet, I received a note just today from the wife of a kind, courageous and thoughtful man who died of cancer in November. I am constantly reminded of the fact that life is all about perspective and appreciating & celebrating what we DO have, not what we don’t have.

Wishing you a joyous, peaceful and HEALTHY 2015!

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How to Master the Fine Art of Small Talk

During this holiday season, as I am traveling from one party to the next, I am reminded of the need for mastering the fine art – and isn’t it indeed an art? – of small talk.  Recently, I came across a super article by Laura Vanderkam.  After, I read her book, What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast and loooooved it! She generously allowed me to share her article with you all.  Hope that you enjoy it as much as I did!

 How to Master the Fine Art of Small Talk

MOVE BEYOND THE WEATHER TO MAKE SMALL TALK LESS PAINFUL AND MORE PRODUCTIVE. HERE ARE FIVE THINGS THAT GREAT CONVERSATIONALISTS KNOW.

Small talk gets a bad reputation. To avoid this allegedly meaningless drivel, people skip networking events. Or, almost as bad, they attend, but talk to the three people they already know.

This is shortsighted, says Debra Fine, author of The Fine Art of Small Talk. “Small talk is the appetizer for any relationship,” she says, and people like to do business with those with whom they’ve established common ground. “A good networker is looking to foster relationships and build a community never knowing how that contact can help now or in the future. My motto is ‘every conversation is an opportunity for success.’” Here’s how to do small talk better:

Lower your expectations. While you can hope for the best, don’t expect too much from any given chat. If you come to cocktail hour hoping for nothing more than a good restaurant or book recommendation, you can relax and enjoy yourself, and be pleasantly surprised by anything else that happens. Relaxed people are, incidentally, more enjoyable for others to be around too.
Have something to talk about. “I never approach a meeting, an industry function, or a networking event without at least three things to talk about,” says Fine. “When is the worst time to come up with something to talk about? When you have nothing to talk about!” In particular, she practices a solid answer to “How are you?” or “How are things?” so she doesn’t respond with an “unhelpful one word answer” that forces a conversation partner to do much of the work.
Lead with a declaration. While questions are generally good, leading with one carries risk. You might ask about the one topic the person doesn’t want to cover: “How’s work?” results in “They just announced huge layoffs” or, more likely, an evasive answer and awkward silence. Some people might view asking a direct question at the start of a conversation as rude. Instead, volunteer something positive about a topic that’s potentially common ground, so the person can choose to reciprocate. “Our host said she just got back from California” lets the person talk about the host, vacations, business she’s done in California, a time she visited California, etc.
Then go for questions. Most people like to talk about themselves, so asking questions is a good way to follow up once you’ve established a safe topic. Avoid close-ended questions (“Did you go on Space Mountain?” could be answered “No”) and instead ask about favorite memories. That lets people tell their best stories. If you’re in a conversation with someone who’s particularly hard to engage, try the old interview trick of giving people two options: “Did you rent a car in Amsterdam or take the train?” If one option is correct, people will elaborate on it (“We rented a car, but we had to special order a minivan. Hertz didn’t just have one at the airport…”) or if neither is, people are quick to correct a faulty impression (“Actually, we traveled the whole country by bicycle”). The correction then offers multiple follow-on possibilities.
Prepare for a Lull. You can extricate yourself (“I need to go say hello to my old client”) or you can introduce your conversation partner to someone (“Would you like to meet her?”) but there may be nowhere else to go. So good conversationalists also know how to shift. If she’s been talking about work, Fine likes to ask “What keeps you busy outside of work?” If you’ve established general biographical info, she recommends letting the person show you her best self with “What has the highlight of your year been so far?” Who knows, it might be a highlight you’re interested too, and the person goes from small talk partner to honest-to-goodness friend.

What works for you?  I’d love to hear!

Laura Vanderkam is the author of, Their Own Sweet Time (2015), 168 Hours, and What the Most Successful People Do Before Breakfast — a paperback compilation of the bestselling ebook series, all from Portfolio/Penguin. Please visit www.lauravanderkam.com.

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Books to Read on Vacation

 

Happy Day After Christmas!  Hope that you are luxuriating in your jammies around the Christmas Tree, enjoying family time and perhaps a few special gifts.  This day finds me heading out on a vacation. Boy oh boy am I ever excited about it!

My favorite thing about packing for a vacation is figuring out what I am going to read. In fact, I would actually prefer to JUST take books (yes, the good old fashioned REAL books) in my carry on.

For this (much-needed!!!!) vacation, these books are tippy top on my list. Because I haven’t read them yet, I’m going to share with you the GoodReads summaries of them. I do love the GoodReads website. How on earth could I not with such an awesome name?  Ok, so here we go:

Deep Down Dark: The Untold Stories of 33 Men Buried in a Chilean Mine, and the Miracle That Set Them Free – When the San José mine collapsed outside of Copiapó, Chile, in August 2010, it trapped thirty-three miners beneath thousands of feet of rock for a record-breaking sixty-nine days. Across the globe, we sat riveted to television and computer screens as journalists flocked to the Atacama desert. While we saw what transpired above ground during the grueling and protracted rescue, the story of the miners’ experiences below the earth’s surface—and the lives that led them there—hasn’t been heard until now. In Deep Down Dark, a master work by a Pulitzer Prize–winning journalist, Héctor Tobar gains exclusive access to the miners and their stories. The result is a miraculous and emotionally textured account of the thirty-three men who came to think of the San José mine as a kind of coffin, as a “cave” inflicting constant and thundering aural torment, and as a church where they sought redemption through prayer while the world watched from above. It offers an understanding of the families and personal histories that brought “los 33” to the mine, and the mystical and spiritual elements that surrounded working in such a dangerous place.

Yes Please by Amy Poehler In Amy Poehler’s highly anticipated first book, Yes Please, she offers up a big juicy stew of personal stories, funny bits on sex and love and friendship and parenthood and real life advice (some useful, some not so much), like when to be funny and when to be serious. Powered by Amy’s charming and hilarious, biting yet wise voice, Yes Please is a book is full of words to live by.

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr Marie Laure lives with her father in Paris within walking distance of the Museum of Natural History where he works as the master of the locks (there are thousands of locks in the museum). When she is six, she goes blind, and her father builds her a model of their neighborhood, every house, every manhole, so she can memorize it with her fingers and navigate the real streets with her feet and cane. When the Germans occupy Paris, father and daughter flee to Saint-Malo on the Brittany coast, where Marie-Laure’s agoraphobic great uncle lives in a tall, narrow house by the sea wall. In another world in Germany, an orphan boy, Werner, grows up with his younger sister, Jutta, both enchanted by a crude radio Werner finds. He becomes a master at building and fixing radios, a talent that wins him a place at an elite and brutal military academy and, ultimately, makes him a highly specialized tracker of the Resistance. Werner travels through the heart of Hitler Youth to the far-flung outskirts of Russia, and finally into Saint-Malo, where his path converges with Marie-Laure. Doerr’s gorgeous combination of soaring imagination with observation is electric. Deftly interweaving the lives of Marie-Laure and Werner, Doerr illuminates the ways, against all odds, people try to be good to one another. Ten years in the writing, All the Light We Cannot See is his most ambitious and dazzling work.

Then Came Life by Geralyn Lucas Twenty years ago, Geralyn Lucas put on red lipstick before entering the operating room to show everyone that she planned to come out the bold and daring woman she never thought she could be. At twenty-seven, she didn’t realize how much her single act of courage would connect with women and endear her to breast cancer survivors across the globe. In Then Came Life, Geralyn is back with the same fearless attitude, exploring what it means to survive cancer, only to face new challenges. When she was fighting cancer, Geralyn prayed she would live long enough to get wrinkles. Now in her mid-forties, she’s the mother of two miracle babies, one who’s grown into a mean tween with a fierce eye-roll and the other a tornado of little-boy energy who refuses to play by his preschool’s rules. Her storybook romance has become couples therapy with a grumpy prince, the job she loves moves across the country without her, and her hard-won wrinkles just make her long for Botox. Then Came Life is a totally original response to life’s challenges that reminds readers to always find a way to turn the mundane in life into a miracle.  With an infectious sense of empowerment and hilarious voice, Geralyn has crafted a playbook for women everywhere to fall back in love with life. All women will recognize themselves in Geralyn and her story about re-discovering the resilience, courage, and humor needed to reinvent yourself at every age.

Landline by Rainbow Rowell Georgie McCool knows her marriage is in trouble;it has been in trouble for a long time. She still loves her husband, Neal, and Neal still loves her, deeply — but that almost seems beside the point now. Maybe that was always beside the point. Two days before they’re supposed to visit Neal’s family in Omaha for Christmas, Georgie tells Neal that she can’t go. She’s a TV writer, and something’s come up on her show; she has to stay in Los Angeles. She knows that Neal will be upset with her — Neal is always a little upset with Georgie — but she doesn’t expect him to pack up the kids and go home without her. When her husband and the kids leave for the airport, Georgie wonders if she’s finally done it. If she’s ruined everything. That night, Georgie discovers a way to communicate with Neal in the past. It’s not time travel, not exactly, but she feels like she’s been given an opportunity to fix her marriage before it starts. Is that what she’s supposed to do? Or would Georgie and Neal be better off if their marriage never happened?

The Promise of a Pencil: How an Ordinary Person can Create Extraordinary Change by Adam Braun The riveting story of how a young man turned $25 into more than 200 schools around the world and the guiding steps anyone can take to lead a successful and significant life. Adam Braun began working summers at hedge funds when he was just sixteen years old, sprinting down the path to a successful Wall Street career. But while traveling he met a young boy begging on the streets of India, who after being asked what he wanted most in the world, simply answered, “A pencil.” This small request led to a staggering series of events that took Braun backpacking through dozens of countries before eventually leaving one of the world’s most prestigious jobs to found Pencils of Promise, the organization he started with just $25 that has since built more than 200 schools around the world. The Promise of a Pencil chronicles Braun’s journey to find his calling, as each chapter explains one clear step that every person can take to turn your biggest ambitions into reality, even if you start with as little as $25. His story takes readers behind the scenes with business moguls and village chiefs, world-famous celebrities and hometown heroes. Driven by compelling stories and shareable insights, this is a vivid and inspiring book that will give you the tools to make your own life a story worth telling. *All proceeds from this book will support Pencils of Promise.

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel An audacious, darkly glittering novel set in the eerie days of civilization’s collapse, Station Eleven tells the spellbinding story of a Hollywood star, his would-be savior, and a nomadic group of actors roaming the scattered outposts of the Great Lakes region, risking everything for art and humanity. One snowy night Arthur Leander, a famous actor, has a heart attack onstage during a production of “King Lear.” Jeevan Chaudhary, a paparazzo-turned-EMT, is in the audience and leaps to his aid. A child actress named Kirsten Raymonde watches in horror as Jeevan performs CPR, pumping Arthur’s chest as the curtain drops, but Arthur is dead. That same night, as Jeevan walks home from the theater, a terrible flu begins to spread. Hospitals are flooded and Jeevan and his brother barricade themselves inside an apartment, watching out the window as cars clog the highways, gunshots ring out, and life disintegrates around them. Fifteen years later, Kirsten is an actress with the Traveling Symphony. Together, this small troupe moves between the settlements of an altered world, performing Shakespeare and music for scattered communities of survivors. Written on their caravan, and tattooed on Kirsten’s arm is a line from “Star Trek: ” “Because survival is insufficient.” But when they arrive in St. Deborah by the Water, they encounter a violent prophet who digs graves for anyone who dares to leave. Spanning decades, moving back and forth in time, and vividly depicting life before and after the pandemic, this suspenseful, elegiac novel is rife with beauty. As Arthur falls in and out of love, as Jeevan watches the newscasters say their final good-byes, and as Kirsten finds herself caught in the crosshairs of the prophet, we see the strange twists of fate that connect them all. A novel of art, memory, and ambition, “Station Eleven” tells a story about the relationships that sustain us, the ephemeral nature of fame, and the beauty of the world as we know it.  ***Actually, I have read this one but haven’t had time to review it yet.  Suffice it to say, I LOVED it!  It’s way out there, but it’s awesome!

#GIRLBOSS by Sophia Amoruso At seventeen, Sophia Amoruso decided to forgo continuing education to pursue a life of hitchhiking, dumpster diving, and petty thievery. Now, at twenty-nine, she is the Founder, CEO, and Creative Director of Nasty Gal, a $100+ million e-tailer that draws A-list publicity and rabid fans for its leading-edge fashion and provocative online persona. Her story is extraordinary—and only part of the appeal of #GIRLBOSS. This aspirational book doesn’t patronize young women the way many business experts do. Amoruso shows readers how to channel their passion and hard work, while keeping their insecurities from getting in the way. She offers straight talk about making your voice heard and doing meaningful work. She’s proof that you can be a huge success without giving up your spirit of adventure or distinctive style. As she writes, “I have three pieces of advice I want you to remember: Don’t ever grow up. Don’t become a bore. Don’t let The Man get to you. OK? Cool. Then let’s do this.”

The Geography of Memory: A Pilgrimage Through Alzheimer’s by Jeanne Murray Walker Award-winning poet Jeanne Murray Walker tells an extraordinarily wise, witty, and quietly wrenching tale of her mother’s long passage into dementia. This powerful story explores parental love, profound grief, and the unexpected consolation of memory. While Walker does not flinch from the horrors of “the ugly twins, aging and death,” her eye for the apt image provides a window into unexpected joy and humor even during the darkest days. This is a multi-layered narrative of generations, faith, and friendship. As Walker leans in to the task of caring for her mother, their relationship unexpectedly deepens and becomes life-giving. Her mother’s memory, which more and more dwells in the distant past, illuminates Walker’s own childhood. She rediscovers and begins to understand her own past, as well as to enter more fully into her mother’s final years. THE GEOGRAPHY OF MEMORY is not only a personal journey made public in the most engaging, funny, and revealing way possible, here is a story of redemption for anyone who is caring for or expecting to care for ill and aging parents-and for all the rest of us as well.

What are you reading?  I’d love to hear!!!

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Merry Christmas 2014!

Merry  Christmas 2014!

A Christmas Salutation

There is nothing I can give you which you have not,
But there is much that while I cannot give, you can take.
No heaven can come to us unless our hearts find rest in it today.
Take heaven.
No peace lies in the future which is not hidden in this present instant.
Take peace.
The gloom of the world is but a shadow.
Behind it, yet within our reach, is joy.
Take joy.
And so at this Christmastime,
I greet you, with the prayer that for you,
now and forever, the day breaks
and the shadows flee away.
 -Fra Giovanni, 1513

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Practicing Slowness During the Holidays

Merry Christmas Eve!  Sorry I have been absent in the last week. The end of the year has me sick as a dog…not a cute dog, either. I look more like a hang-dog.

I think that my body has said STOP. ENOUGH. DONE. Not a surprise, I have to say. In my rush to get through the lists of everything that I have to do – you know, finishing errands and catching up on emails – my body and mind has gone kaput. The Silver Lining is that I am a wee bit relieved about it,  because in being shut down, my spirit has awakened (again!) to the value and of practicing slowness.  It is an evolving life lesson for me.  I love living a speedy-Gonzalez life, but I also love a slow life.  I’m still working on finding a balance between the two.

So, on this Christmas Eve – with the gifts wrapped and the fire blazing in the fireplace – I am giving myself the gift of slowness.  After all there is no better gift than that, I believe.  Below are some of the things that I am doing today and tomorrow.  They are things that I (and you!) already know, but that I don’t do often enough.  The key is practicing them and thereby creating a habit.

Be grateful for what there is right here, right now.
Slow down instead of rushing.
Really notice everything about the moment, and find small things to appreciate.
Pause to savor the current moment.

Merry Christmas to one and all!

 

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