Hollye Jacobs's Blog, page 19
June 2, 2014
Musical Monday: Still Beautiful by Vanaka
Musical Monday: Still Beautiful by Vanaka
Happy Monday! Ohhhhh, do I have a great song for you today! Over the weekend (to a rapt audience!) our dear friends Don & Stacey Fergusson debuted their new song and video, Still Beautiful. You may recall that Don & Stacey wrote and produced the Silver Girl song & video that I shared with you a few weeks ago.
If you thought that Silver Girl was great, get ready for more amazing-ness. This is seriously Goosebump City!
Part of what makes the Vanaka (translated to gratitude) songs so unique and special is that they come from, well, unique and special places. Stacey wrote the song after the Sandy Hook tragedy. It evolved from a conversation with her son (who at the time was in 3rd grade) about what happened and why. GULP. After the heartbreaking conversation, Stacey’s son said, “I feel hollow inside.” How apt a description is that?!? Shortly thereafter, Still Beautiful was born.
Ok, enough chitter-chatter. Here is the video, lyrics and some special behind the scenes photographs. Hope that this song inspires you as much as it does me!
Here are some behind the scenes images (I always LOVE BTS’s!) and hope that you do as well!
And last, but not least, the beautiful lyrics:
STILL BEAUTIFUL
By Stacey J. Fergusson & J.R. Richards
Yesterday your eyes were filled with the sky
And now you say you feel hollow inside
Such sadness we wonder why
So much madness we find in mankind
In this world of sun and shadow
Can’t know joy without sorrow
Keep your faith your soul is safe
Look for the love in every face
Lead from the place inside
That knows how to follow the light
Look for the love
Trust the love that lives within
As you let love lead
In this world still beautiful
With all it’s suffering and all its pain
What we have is held more precious
When we see how fast it can change
In your eyes I can see your heart
Light and beauty no shadow can touch
Hold a hand when you’re afraid
And when you feel brave, do the same.
Photographers:Andrea MinerJared ArkularySTATE STREET BALLETChoreographer &
Artistic Director: Rodney Gustafson
Prima Ballerina: Kate Kadow
Prima Ballerino: Ryan Camou
Ballet Master: Marina Fliagina-Domrachev
Costume Design: Ben-Oni Cortes
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May 30, 2014
8 Good Writing Practices
8 Good Writing Practices
On my book tour travels, I have heard lots and lots of people say, “You have inspired me to write a book!” To know that I have inspired someone to do something always warms my heart and makes me so happy. I become a cheerleader, encouraging people to pursue their writing. To go ahead. Do it.
I also tell them (because I am honest!) that writing a book is not for the faint of heart. It is hard, hard, hard work. It is emotional and exhausting and overwhelming. BUT, the Silver Lining is that when you finish, there is about no better feeling in the world (other than having your oncologist tell you that you are cancer free, of course!).
Recently I came across Neil Gaiman’s list of “8 good writing practices”. Neil knows a thing or two about writing as he is known for his graphic novels, audio theatre, films, comic books, and short novels. His most notable works include The Graveyard Book, Coraline, American God, and the comic book series The Sandman. He has a magical way of making me feel as though I intimately know (or could be one of) the characters in his books. For those of who have a passion for words, here are some words of wisdom to help you begin, continue or finish your writing project!
Write.Put one word after another. Find the right word, put it down.Finish what you’re writing. Whatever you have to do to finish it, finish it.Put it aside. Read it pretending you’ve never read it before. Show it to friends whose opinion you respect and who like the kind of thing that this is.Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.Fix it. Remember that, sooner or later, before it ever reaches perfection, you will have to let it go and move on and start to write the next thing. Perfection is like chasing the horizon. Keep moving.Laugh at your own jokes.The main rule of writing is that if you do it with enough assurance and confidence, you’re allowed to do whatever you like. (That may be a rule for life as well as for writing. But its definitely true for writing.) So write your story as it needs to be written. Write it honestly, and tell it as best you can.To this list I would add: Write every day. No matter what. No matter where. To be a good writer, you need to do it every single solitary day.
Are you a writer? If so, I’d love to hear your suggestions!
* Photo Credit: Elizabeth Messina
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May 28, 2014
Maya Angelou, A Phenomenal Woman
Maya Angelou, A Phenomenal Woman
It is with great sadness that I learned of Maya Angelou’s death today. As she once said, “Nothing can dim the light that shines from within.” I couldn’t agree more with this P-HE-NOMINAL Renaissance woman who was one of the great voices in contemporary literature. In honor of the great Maya Angelou’s life, I would like to share with you one of her poem’s that I found when I was sick. It inspired me then and continues to do so each and every day.
Still I RiseYou may write me down in history
With your bitter, twisted lies,
You may tread me in the very dirt
But still, like dust, I’ll rise.
Does my sassiness upset you?
Why are you beset with gloom?
‘Cause I walk like I’ve got oil wells
Pumping in my living room.
Just like moons and like suns,
With the certainty of tides,
Just like hopes springing high,
Still I’ll rise.
Did you want to see me broken?
Bowed head and lowered eyes?
Shoulders falling down like teardrops.
Weakened by my soulful cries.
Does my haughtiness offend you?
Don’t you take it awful hard
‘Cause I laugh like I’ve got gold mines
Diggin’ in my own back yard.
You may shoot me with your words,
You may cut me with your eyes,
You may kill me with your hatefulness,
But still, like air, I’ll rise.
Does my sexiness upset you?
Does it come as a surprise
That I dance like I’ve got diamonds
At the meeting of my thighs?
Out of the huts of history’s shame
I rise
Up from a past that’s rooted in pain
I rise
I’m a black ocean, leaping and wide,
Welling and swelling I bear in the tide.
Leaving behind nights of terror and fear
I rise
Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear
I rise
Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave,
I am the dream and the hope of the slave.
I rise
I rise
I rise.
And for a little more inspiration, enjoy the goosebumps that you will receive when you watch and listen to this!
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May 26, 2014
7 Tips to Avoid Junk Food
7 Tips to Avoid Junk Food
I love junk food. There, I said it. However, I avoid it as much as possible, as much for my overall health as much for my waistline. On the very rare occasion that I do eat junk food, I always feel sluggish immediately after and then inevitably have a food hangover that lasts sometimes for days. The Silver Lining of this food hangover is that (most of the time) it discourages me from eating it the next time.
However, on this Memorial Day weekend, filled with super fun parties and BBQ’s, I find myself drawn to the call of the delightful snacks and candy that I know will be all around me. However, a few simple ideas and behaviors help me and can help you drop junk food like the bad habit it is. Writing this post is a Silver Lining for me because it will help me avoid it altogether…especially today!
Don’t Buy Junk Food for Your HomeThe easiest way to avoid eating junk food is to simply not buy it in the first place. DUH. Obvious, I know, but it bears repeating (at least for me). Out of sight is out of mind (or at least not in the forefront of your mind). If I don’t have any salty snacks and chewy sweets within easy reach, I won’t need to bolster my willpower to avoid eating junk food. However, a widespread ban isn’t the way to go, especially if you are just beginning to eliminate junk food from your life. If you’re just starting to cut back on your intake, I would recommend slowly limiting your purchases each week. Eventually, you can work toward eliminating junk food completely, except for the occasional treat.
Fall in Love with AlternativesYour grocery store & farmers market are full of healthy alternatives to junk food. Instead of ice cream, buy some gluten and sugar free granola and have a bowl with almond milk. If you love salty potato chips, try making your own baked apple slices as a replacement. The next time that you visit the grocery store, wander through the produce section for some inspiration.
Bring Your Own SnacksUnless you never leave your home, you may find yourself in a situation where junk food is present and calling your name. This has been the case with me, especially traveling so much lately! When I travel (or am going to be away from home for the day) I always pack my own snacks to help me avoid the urge to buy processed food. The thing of it is, when I already have a tasty and healthy treat of my own, I never eat the junk. Recently, I invested in reusable containers so that I can take and store perishable items more easily. If you are in an office environment, I highly recommend doing some research on health snack alternatives and then talk with your coworkers and supervisor about including them. It will be a Silver Lining for everyone!
Improve Your Overall DietAdding more healthy foods to your diet, such as fruits and vegetables, can help decrease the urge to consume salty and sugary treats. Many healthy foods, especially those rich with fiber, help you fill up more quickly, reducing your desire to consume other foods to top off your tummy. Apples are my go-to fiber-filled snack. Another option is to consistently eat a fiber and protein filled lunch to tide you over and eliminate your need to foraging for a candy bar to make it through the mid-afternoon doldrums.
Do Something ElseFor some people, munching on junk food gives them something to do during a slow moment in the day, especially at work or school. This sure is the case with me! If you tend to eat junk food simply because you’re bored, try coming up with another activity instead. Sometimes when I feel the munchies at my desk, first of all I ask myself if I am truly hungry. If not, I often stand up and do jumping jacks and push ups. That gets my heart going and clears my head. If you’re in an office, perhaps you could do jumping jacks and push ups…or if not, go for a short walk around your building and skip past the vending machine.
Drink More WaterThis is HUMONGOUS for me. The thing of it is that increasing your fluid intake helps your stomach feel satisfied. In some cases, dehydration can even make you feel hungry. Instead of reaching for junk food (including sodas!) the instant you feel the cold fingers of hunger grip your belly, drink some water instead. If you don’t really enjoy plain water, you could add fruit and chia seeds to your water. This will make you feel REALLY full. You could also try drinking decaffeinated tea.
Avoid Using Junk Food as a RewardIf you’re trying to reach a goal or celebrating something, using a piece of chocolate and other treats may feel tempting. In addition, many parents use junk food to reward their children for good behavior. If you use your creativity, however, you can come up with some better non-food rewards. For your children, buy sheets of stickers or small coloring books as rewards. For our daughter, a/k/a Excitedly Eight, we give her books as rewards. For yourself, you could treat yourself to a massage or mani/pedi.
The Silver Lining is that there are tons of alternatives. In fact, the options are limitless. How do you avoid junk food? I’d love to hear your thoughts!
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May 23, 2014
Under My Skin Play in New York
Under My Skin Play in New York
If you happen to be in New York City this Memorial Day weekend, I highly recommend seeing a play that has just opened at the Little Schubert Theatre called Under My Skin, written by Robert Sternin and Prudence Fraser (of The Nanny fame).
I had the great opportunity to see the show when it was in previews in Pasadena. Now I have to tell you the circumstances of that the day. You see, I spent several hours at an oncologist’s office with a dear girlfriend who had just been diagnosed with F-bomb cancer. A nasty one that had spread to multiple body parts. It was a seriously tough day. After the appointment, I planned to take my girlfriend out to dinner and to Under My Skin.
Prior to going to the play, I read the description and thought that a few giggles at the expense of healthcare would be some great medicine, considering how much of it she and I have both seen and continue to see:
In UNDER MY SKIN, a twist of fate leads to love and laughs when New York’s most eligible bachelor and a single working mom hilariously experience each other’s lives and see things from a very different perspective. It is the world premiere of an outrageous, new, heartfelt comedy about sex, love, and healthcare…the three things we all need but can’t always get.
Total fun, right? Well, lo and f-bomb behold, one of the main characters gets uterine cancer and has to have a hysterectomy. Oh, yes, basically it was a repeat performance of a good chunk of the conversation we had at the oncologist’s office that day. Uh huh. I couldn’t possibly have made that up. I wanted to crawl under the seat first, then I thought about jumping up on the stage (to do what, I don’t know!) and then she and I just laughed and laughed and laughed. Because you know what? It was funny. F-bomb funny.
The thing about f-bomb cancer is that you’ve just gotta have a sense of humor and be able to engage it (the humor) when you least expect to. And you know what? That’s EXACTLY what Under My Skin did for us. It unleashed some really wonderful and joyous belly laughs which happened to be the exact Silver Lining that we both needed that day.
I know that it will do the same for you…as it has also done for the New York Times & The New Yorker reviewers!
Here is a sneak peek on YouTube:
Here is the link to get tickets & show times: http://www.telecharge.com/go.aspx?MD=102&PID=10210&AID=VEN000007900
And the Theatre, located at 422 West 42nd Street, between 9th & Dyer Avenues.
If I were in New York this weekend, this is where I would be. Now, go have some fun and LAUGH!
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May 20, 2014
Walt Disney: Getting Started
Walt Disney: Getting Started
Can you imagine if Walt Disney only talked about his wondrous ideas of creating the happiest place on earth?!? There would be no Disneyland, no Disneyworld, no Mickey, no Minnie!! And that, my friends, would be just plain terrible.
I happen to believe that we have a LOT to learn from Mr. Disney. It is so easy tell myself that I am going to eat healthier, work less, read more. It’s even easy to call a girlfriend and tell her my plans. But the thing of it is that telling myself and others doesn’t make them happen. It is the DOING that is the key. So, today I’m focused on doing each and every one of these things that I just told you that I am going to do.
Just like Walt Disney, I hope that you will go and make your Silver Linings happen!
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A Labor of Love. It’s How He Rolls
A Labor of Love. It’s How He Rolls
It is always so magical to come across a story that gives me goosebumps and stops me dead in my tracks. Today, I stumbled across this article in the International Business Times (random reading for me!) and boy oh boy, was I inspired and enthralled! So, of course, I thought I would share with you all of you.
Momir Bojic, a 71 year old Bosnian pensioner, created a – get this – WOODEN Volkswagen out of 50,000 HAND CARVED oak tiles. Each wooden tile required at least 23 different procedures, resulting in over TWO YEARS worth of labor to create this masterpiece. You’ve gotta see it!
The amount of detail on this bug is astonishing! Everything from the hubcaps, to the steering wheel is covered with beautiful wooden tiles. I love that Mr. Bojic even made himself a hat to match his new ride! How chic is that?!?
I love that Mr. Bojic even made himself a hat to match his new ride! How chic is that?!?
According to the International Business Times, Mr. Bojic called his creation a “labor of love.” I love this phrase because it is so applicable to my life and I’m sure it is to yours as well. I think it’s important to remember to spend time doing things you love, no matter what is going on in your life –during the good and the bad. Whether it’s gardening, painting, writing, or creating a wooden Volkswagen… each of these “labors of love” create small Silver Linings, reminding us that there is always beauty in our world.
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May 16, 2014
Friday Photos: The Silver Lining Book Events
Friday Photos: The Silver Lining Book Events
This week Elizabeth Messina and I have had so much fun signing books and meeting new friends at both the David Webb Event in Beverly Hills and the Lole Event in Santa Barbara. Both venues generously gave a percentage of their sales on the day of the event towards buying books for those who are not able to afford them. How cool is that? I mean, really.
I am so incredibly grateful to everyone who helped put these events on as well as those who came out to support the book. Thank you for being a part of the biggest Silver Lining of my week!
Here are a few photos from each event in honor of Friday Photos:
Elizabeth & Me
Jennifer Hale, the founder and Editor-in-Chief of C Magazine & Cameron Silver, the owner of the vintage shop Decades
New friends
Friends at Lole in Santa Barbara
Elizabeth and me with Mary, the owner of my favorite bookstore in Santa Barbara, Tecolote
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May 15, 2014
The Importance of Kindness
The Importance of Kindness
Recently I came across George Saunders’s convocation speech at Syracuse University for the class of 2013 and boy oh boy is it a doozy!!! And then I saw it again on Brain Pickings and knew that I kept seeing it for a reason. This commencement address is all about the small and large moments in life, you know…the ones that transcend graduation, illness and everything else. Talk about perspective, balance and above all else, Silver Linings. I hope that you enjoy it as much as I have!!! I have to tell you that it is pretty doggone magical to have a platform to share the inspiring things in life.
George Saunders
Down through the ages, a traditional form has evolved for this type of speech, which is: Some old fart, his best years behind him, who, over the course of his life, has made a series of dreadful mistakes (that would be me), gives heartfelt advice to a group of shining, energetic young people, with all of their best years ahead of them (that would be you).
And I intend to respect that tradition.
Now, one useful thing you can do with an old person, in addition to borrowing money from them, or asking them to do one of their old-time “dances,” so you can watch, while laughing, is ask: “Looking back, what do you regret?” And they’ll tell you. Sometimes, as you know, they’ll tell you even if you haven’t asked. Sometimes, even when you’ve specifically requested they not tell you, they’ll tell you.
So: What do I regret? Being poor from time to time? Not really. Working terrible jobs, like “knuckle-puller in a slaughterhouse?” (And don’t even ASK what that entails.) No. I don’t regret that. Skinny-dipping in a river in Sumatra, a little buzzed, and looking up and seeing like 300 monkeys sitting on a pipeline, pooping down into the river, the river in which I was swimming, with my mouth open, naked? And getting deathly ill afterwards, and staying sick for the next seven months? Not so much. Do I regret the occasional humiliation? Like once, playing hockey in front of a big crowd, including this girl I really liked, I somehow managed, while falling and emitting this weird whooping noise, to score on my own goalie, while also sending my stick flying into the crowd, nearly hitting that girl? No. I don’t even regret that.
But here’s something I do regret:
In seventh grade, this new kid joined our class. In the interest of confidentiality, her Convocation Speech name will be “ELLEN.” ELLEN was small, shy. She wore these blue cat’s-eye glasses that, at the time, only old ladies wore. When nervous, which was pretty much always, she had a habit of taking a strand of hair into her mouth and chewing on it.
So she came to our school and our neighborhood, and was mostly ignored, occasionally teased (“Your hair taste good?” — that sort of thing). I could see this hurt her. I still remember the way she’d look after such an insult: eyes cast down, a little gut-kicked, as if, having just been reminded of her place in things, she was trying, as much as possible, to disappear. After awhile she’d drift away, hair-strand still in her mouth. At home, I imagined, after school, her mother would say, you know: “How was your day, sweetie?” and she’d say, “Oh, fine.” And her mother would say, “Making any friends?” and she’d go, “Sure, lots.”
Sometimes I’d see her hanging around alone in her front yard, as if afraid to leave it.
And then — they moved. That was it. No tragedy, no big final hazing.
One day she was there, next day she wasn’t.
End of story.
Now, why do I regret that? Why, forty-two years later, am I still thinking about it? Relative to most of the other kids, I was actually pretty nice to her. I never said an unkind word to her. In fact, I sometimes even (mildly) defended her.
But still. It bothers me.
So here’s something I know to be true, although it’s a little corny, and I don’t quite know what to do with it:
What I regret most in my life are failures of kindness.
Those moments when another human being was there, in front of me, suffering, and I responded . . . sensibly. Reservedly. Mildly.
Or, to look at it from the other end of the telescope: Who, in your life, do you remember most fondly, with the most undeniable feelings of warmth?
Those who were kindest to you, I bet.
It’s a little facile, maybe, and certainly hard to implement, but I’d say, as a goal in life, you could do worse than: Try to be kinder.
Now, the million-dollar question: What’s our problem? Why aren’t we kinder?
Here’s what I think:
Each of us is born with a series of built-in confusions that are probably somehow Darwinian. These are: (1) we’re central to the universe (that is, our personal story is the main and most interesting story, the only story, really); (2) we’re separate from the universe (there’s US and then, out there, all that other junk – dogs and swing-sets, and the State of Nebraska and low-hanging clouds and, you know, other people), and (3) we’re permanent (death is real, o.k., sure – for you, but not for me).
Now, we don’t really believe these things – intellectually we know better – but we believe them viscerally, and live by them, and they cause us to prioritize our own needs over the needs of others, even though what we really want, in our hearts, is to be less selfish, more aware of what’s actually happening in the present moment, more open, and more loving.
So, the second million-dollar question: How might we DO this? How might we become more loving, more open, less selfish, more present, less delusional, etc., etc?
Well, yes, good question.
Unfortunately, I only have three minutes left.
So let me just say this. There are ways. You already know that because, in your life, there have been High Kindness periods and Low Kindness periods, and you know what inclined you toward the former and away from the latter. Education is good; immersing ourselves in a work of art: good; prayer is good; meditation’s good; a frank talk with a dear friend; establishing ourselves in some kind of spiritual tradition — recognizing that there have been countless really smart people before us who have asked these same questions and left behind answers for us.
Because kindness, it turns out, is hard — it starts out all rainbows and puppy dogs, and expands to include . . . well, everything.
One thing in our favor: some of this “becoming kinder” happens naturally, with age. It might be a simple matter of attrition: as we get older, we come to see how useless it is to be selfish — how illogical, really. We come to love other people and are thereby counter-instructed in our own centrality. We get our butts kicked by real life, and people come to our defense, and help us, and we learn that we’re not separate, and don’t want to be. We see people near and dear to us dropping away, and are gradually convinced that maybe we too will drop away (someday, a long time from now). Most people, as they age, become less selfish and more loving. I think this is true. The great Syracuse poet, Hayden Carruth, said, in a poem written near the end of his life, that he was “mostly Love, now.”
And so, a prediction, and my heartfelt wish for you: as you get older, your self will diminish and you will grow in love. YOU will gradually be replaced by LOVE. If you have kids, that will be a huge moment in your process of self-diminishment. You really won’t care what happens to YOU, as long as they benefit. That’s one reason your parents are so proud and happy today. One of their fondest dreams has come true: you have accomplished something difficult and tangible that has enlarged you as a person and will make your life better, from here on in, forever.
Congratulations, by the way.
When young, we’re anxious — understandably — to find out if we’ve got what it takes. Can we succeed? Can we build a viable life for ourselves? But you — in particular you, of this generation — may have noticed a certain cyclical quality to ambition. You do well in high-school, in hopes of getting into a good college, so you can do well in the good college, in the hopes of getting a good job, so you can do well in the good job so you can . . .
And this is actually O.K. If we’re going to become kinder, that process has to include taking ourselves seriously — as doers, as accomplishers, as dreamers. We have to do that, to be our best selves.
Still, accomplishment is unreliable. “Succeeding,” whatever that might mean to you, is hard, and the need to do so constantly renews itself (success is like a mountain that keeps growing ahead of you as you hike it), and there’s the very real danger that “succeeding” will take up your whole life, while the big questions go untended.
So, quick, end-of-speech advice: Since, according to me, your life is going to be a gradual process of becoming kinder and more loving: Hurry up. Speed it along. Start right now. There’s a confusion in each of us, a sickness, really: selfishness. But there’s also a cure. So be a good and proactive and even somewhat desperate patient on your own behalf — seek out the most efficacious anti-selfishness medicines, energetically, for the rest of your life.
Do all the other things, the ambitious things — travel, get rich, get famous, innovate, lead, fall in love, make and lose fortunes, swim naked in wild jungle rivers (after first having it tested for monkey poop) – but as you do, to the extent that you can, err in the direction of kindness. Do those things that incline you toward the big questions, and avoid the things that would reduce you and make you trivial. That luminous part of you that exists beyond personality — your soul, if you will — is as bright and shining as any that has ever been. Bright as Shakespeare’s, bright as Gandhi’s, bright as Mother Teresa’s. Clear away everything that keeps you separate from this secret luminous place. Believe it exists, come to know it better, nurture it, share its fruits tirelessly.
And someday, in 80 years, when you’re 100, and I’m 134, and we’re both so kind and loving we’re nearly unbearable, drop me a line, let me know how your life has been. I hope you will say: It has been so wonderful.
Congratulations, Class of 2013.
I wish you great happiness, all the luck in the world, and a beautiful summer.
Here is a super cool accompanying video/graphic:
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May 14, 2014
Travel Adventures: Pinewood Social in Nashville
Pinewood Social in Nashville
Earlier this spring I had the great opportunity to visit Nashville on The Silver Lining book tour. I hadn’t been there in yeaaaars. It has changed so much! I cannot say enough about the city. Between the music, food and people…my oh my! One extra special place is a must-visit restaurant by the name of Pinewood Social.
It was developed by local restaurateurs Max and Benjamin Goldberg (the brothers behind the wildly popular dinner venue Catbird Seat), who conceived it as an all-day hangout with first-rate cuisine. As we walked in, it felt part coffee shop (with long communal tables), part restaurant, super-cool part bar/club…and this was BEFORE we even got to the bowling alley (yes, BOWLING ALLEY!) at the rear of the venue.
“This is an entrepreneurial city,” Max says. “People need a place where they can work and have meetings.” And for a break, patrons can hit the bocce court, get a drink at the 1970s Airstream trailer bar, or take a dip in the pool. Designed by Nashville-based Landy Gardner Interiors and the New York firm Reunion, the expansive space—a former trolley barn with soaring ceilings and exposed-brick walls—also has a coffee stand along with the restaurant. pinewoodsocial.com
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