Hollye Jacobs's Blog, page 14

Daily Appreciation

Daily appreciation may sound grandiose or even a little woo-woo. But, let me ask you a question: Have you ever heard people say, “You don’t know what you have until it’s gone”?

After a FBC diagnosis and hysterectomy surgery, I know all too well what it feels like to know when my health is gone.  I have to say that it feel rotten (understatement of the decade), but the Silver Lining is that I now have a much better understanding of the value and joy and uniqueness of waking up every morning and feeling good. Now there are certainly days when I wake up and think about all of the things that I have to do.  That’s part and parcel of life. The memory of my experience(s) with earth shattering illness, brings me back to a sense of appreciation.  Here are a few other things that I do when I need a gentle reminder (or a kick in the pants!) to appreciate each and every day.

Look at nature.  Though are in the middle of an awful drought (all of our grass is dead-dead-dead), I am still amazed by how much beauty shines through.  For example, this morning when walking to my office, I saw the most gorgeous yellow flower peeking through our nearly dead garden.  That was a Silver Lining for sure!
Move my body.  I have been slow to return to my normal level of exercise (running, hiking, tennis, hot yoga), but I am enjoying things that I wouldn’t normally do, like walking and restorative yoga.  They bring a different kind of peacefulness from my more intense workouts.
Listen to birds singing.  What can I say?  It’s awesome!
Breathe deeply.  Easier said than done when I’m stressed, but the more that I practice doing it, the more quickly it comes naturally.  Often, I inhale for 5 counts and then exhale for 5 counts…and repeat as necessary!
Let it Go (yes, just like Ava in Frozen!) When I find myself endlessly going over past mistakes or worrying myself into knots, I realize that sometimes I just need to say, “Listen, I can’t do this, and I can’t control it, and what’s going to happen is going to happen.”

The best and biggest thing that I do each and every day is make a Silver Lining list.  Sometimes this list begins with the things listed above and sometimes it is the bigger things, like my health. Whatever I include reminds me of how much I truly appreciate my life, no matter how challenging things can (& do!) become!

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“Let’s Talk” Dense Breasts Event

Going in for an annual mammogram may seem like a no brainer (with a hint of nerve bugs), right?  Well, here is the thing: not every mammogram is perfect. Sometimes, they can miss cancer detection in dense breasts. And MISSING cancer detection is an incredibly scary thought.

Tomorrow I am honored and excited to participate in an important panel called “Let’s Talk” Dense Breasts. It is a Google+ event (my first time!) moderated by Carol Evans, President and Founder of Working Mother Media. It features advice from healthcare professionals Nurse Barb Dehn, Dr. Jessie Jacob, and yours truly!

This panel of experts who understands or has experience living with dense breasts firsthand is joining together to discuss what every woman needs to know:

How you can find out if you have dense breasts,
Risk factors associated with breast density,
New legislation in certain states that gives you the right to more information, and
How to talk with your doctor about whether additional testing may be right for you.

We will provide valuable insight on a variety of breast exam options available beyond the mammogram. You can also submit your own questions for the panel to engage in an open conversation on all issues with dense breasts.

This is a topic I think every woman needs to know about – her breast health. To attend, just add the “Let’s Talk” Dense Breasts Event on Google+, taking place tomorrow, October 8, from 9-10am ET.

‘Let’s Talk’ and learn more about breast density together.

RSVP is required. Click here to do so: Google Hangout.

Hope to “see” you tomorrow!

 

 

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Welcome to The Silver Pen Blog!

Welcome to The Silver Pen blog!  After last week, I am giddy to welcome so many new readers to the site. I thought that I’d take the time to explain a little bit about it how it came to be and why.

Once upon a time (on October 15th, 2010), I was diagnosed with FBC. I nicknamed the disease f-bomb breast cancer, because it felt like a bomb went off in our life and – to be honest – I dropped a few (ok a lot) of f-bombs throughout my experience.

When it came to communicating the news about my diagnosis, I felt overwhelmed and decided that I just didn’t have the capacity to call everyone who needed to know. Now the Silver Lining was that I had a wonderfully long list of people to tell.

Additionally, I also decided – as a wee bit of a control freak – that I wanted everyone to hear the news directly from me, in my own words. Hence, sending a group email was the best choice for me. BTW, in case this ever happens to you, which I hope that it doesn’t of course, YOU decide if, how and when you would like to tell people about your diagnosis. In an uncontrollable situation, this is something that you can control.

After telling my friends and family about my diagnosis, during the time before beginning treatments (of surgery, chemotherapy and radiation), I started writing writing the blog. Prior to this experience I had written a few academic papers and a couple of book chapters, but I had never written about myself.

I started the blog simply as a way to keep people apprised of what was happening to me during treatment. The truth is that I started writing so that I wouldn’t have to talk with people and field the same well meaning and loving but – as a patient – unbearable question of  “How are you?” and over again. How many times could I say, “I feel horrendous. No, the anti-side-effect medications don’t work for me”?

From the get-go, I decided to write about living with – and not being dominated by – FBC.  So, on days that I was in the bottomless pit of chemo despair, I would tell people about it. But the next day, I would talk about something that I was drooling over on JCrew.com.  You see, I didn’t want my life to be dominated by the disease and its treatments.

I write in a very honest way, about all aspects and facets of living with and through and after FBC.  I combine my professional experience as a nurse, social worker, and child development specialist with my personal experience as a patient to – hopefully! – help people who have to follow me down this path, just as those who came before me made my experience more effective and more bearable.

Today, I am happy to say that I am cancer free!  I continue to write because – as it turns out – I continue to have things to say.  (My family & friends are not at all surprised by this!)

Thank you all so much for joining me here.  If you would like for me to write about anything in particular or have any questions, please know that I’m always here.  I’d love to

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Musical Monday: Truly Brave

Truly Brave

Happy Monday everyone! A dear friend of mine sent me this music video and it truly warmed my heart. NBC Today co-host Hoda Kotb, a cancer survivor, is helping to raise money to fight pediatitric cancer for NBC’s Shine a Light campaign. She teamed up with Sara Bareilles and Cyndi Lauper to create a mash-up of these artists’ repsective hits, “Brave” and “True Colors.” The result is this amazing song and music video, “Truly Brave”!

The video takes place is a pediatric cancer ward and features young, but TRULY BRAVE cancer patients from the Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia. While a song as amazing as this one doesn’t cure cancer, it is definitely a Silver Lining because it does lift the spirit. Having worked in pediatric hospice (yes, I worked with dying children), I know all too well how important even the teeniest of Silver Linings. Check it out…but grab a box of kleenex first!

Truly Brave by Sara Bareilles and Cyndi Lauper

 

For more information about NBC’s Shine a Light campaign visit their facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/ShineALightTODAY

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The Silver Lining Companion Guide & Good Morning America

One of the many things that FBC (f-bomb breast cancer for new readers) taught me is that Silver Linings come in small and in big packages. Today, the Silver Linings came in humongo-bongo packages!

I am thrilled beyond belief to introduce The Silver Lining Companion Guide. This new book is a condensed version of our (mine & Elizabeth Messina’s) original book, The Silver Lining: A Supportive & Insightful Guide to Breast Cancer. Our goal is that this Guide helps EVERYONE impacted by a cancer diagnosis.

Here’s the BEST PART: the guide is FREE. Yes, that’s right, it is FREE. Allstate has committed to buying one for every person impacted by the disease between October of 2014 and October of 2015. That is up to 250,000 of these books!!!!!!

This morning, I was so incredibly honored to appear on Good Morning America (for the second time!) with Allstate CEO, Thomas Wilson and beloved Robin Roberts to make the announcement. Here is the video clip:

We worked hard to make this book accessible & relatable. What I know for sure is that the unknown of cancer adds insult to the diagnosis. During my years as a nurse and a social worker, I vividly remember how much better people felt when they knew what to expect, whether it was a test or a treatment or even a legal document.  This is what this Guide will do: it will demystify the experience by  giving  practical tips, such as what to pack for that first visit to chemo, advice on how to deal with hot flashes, and how to talk with your children and family about what you are going through. It also provides a list of questions to ask your doctor so that you can get the most out of each and every appointment.  Everything that I learned as both a nurse and a patient is in this book.

I’m just thrilled that The Silver Lining Companion Guide: A Supportive and Insightful Guide to Breast Cancer is available FREE, thanks to the generosity of Allstate.

You’ll be able to download an electronic version of The Silver Lining Companion Guide on any e-reader. Additionally, the non-profit Direct Relief will provide the printed version through select partners across the US. The guide will also be distributed at Cancer Support Community offices around the country.

Along with the support of All State, Direct Relief, and Cancer Support Community, this guide will help encourage the next generation of thrivers to feel strengthened by this transformative, life altering experience. Often, a breast cancer diagnosis spells immediate fear and confusion. The guide provides a path for those diagnosed and their loved ones to cope with the cancer and illness, but also recognizes that underneath the disease, there is still hope to persevere.

Thank you to All State, Good Morning America, Direct Relief and Cancer Support Community for contributing to Breast Cancer Awareness and being “a force for good”.

 

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National Black Dog Day. Seriously.

Today, October 1st, is National Black Dog Day. Seriously. I thought it was a joke when I was first introduced to it.  But, after I did a little research, I learned that it is in fact legit. Did you know that black dogs are the least adoptable pets in shelters because of their color? I was appalled to learn that fact. According to its website, Black Dog Day black dogs are overlooked because of stigmas, such as:

The color black is evil (the same stigma that cats have),
Black dogs do not show up as well in photographs as muti-colored or light colored dogs and
Black dogs look scary and intimidating because you cannot see their facial expressions as easily, etc.

Here’s the worst part, black dogs are easily overlooked when people are searching for a new dog and the first to be euthanized in overcrowded conditions. Ohhhh that makes my tummy turn inside out.

I have had two black dogs in my life, both rescues. They have both been the biggest and brightest Silver Linings in my life, especially through the most difficult of circumstances.

For new readers, Buzz is a “career redirected” guide dog from Leader Dogs for the Blind.“Career redirected” is a wonderful way of saying that despite certain disabilities, Buzz is not longer able to stay in the Leader Dog program.  (He used to get ear infections with enough consistency that it became unmanageable to the person he was servicing.) Buzz’s most recent job assignment was servicing a man in inner-city Detroit.  He was terrific at his job and if it were not for Buzz’s disability, he would still be living and working in Detroit.

We adopted him between my double mastectomy and beginning chemo. Many readers asked: “Are you F-bomb CRAZY?  A new dog between surgery and chemotherapy?  WTF?”  Yes, it may have seemed like a nutty decision at the time, but it was the best, most wonderful decision we could have made at that point in our lives. There is nothing better than four-legged love and boy oh boy did we get it in spades!  As I type this, he is snuggled up right next to me with his head on my lap.

In case you are wondering, he is now ROCKING retirement in Santa Barbara. He goes outside everyday to sun himself, sits in the pool and plays in our backyard.  In honor of this day, I thought that I’d share more photos of my beloved Buzz.

 

We have tons of bunnies in our yard.  Buzz could care less. He is far more interested in his next meal or wading in the pool!

Buzz is the consummate hugger and smoocher! Blue Caleel took this photo.

When I travel for speaking engagements, Buzz is always with me. Elizabeth Messina took this photo.

Because Buzz was a seeing eye dog, this is where he sits in the car.

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Hello October!

Hello October! On this  first day of October, which makes me feel like autumn is really here. Even in Southern California, fall seems to be arriving. The mornings and evenings have a special chill in the air. What I know for sure is that change is inevitable. This time of the year it is not only probable, but it is also palpable. For as long as I can remember, fall has been my favorite season. I love the leaves, the color, the smells, early darkening evenings (no idea why I like this!), the temperatures…all of it!

In Southern California, we don’t have the same fall that I experienced in the Midwest, but the Silver Lining is that I have a new and heightened sensitivity to the changes that fall brings to California.

Below are some of my favorite autumn musings.  Hope that you will take the time to enjoy the magic of this time of the year!

 

October is a symphony of permanence and change.

~Bonaro W. Overstreet

Autumn, the year’s last, loveliest smile.

~William Cullen Bryant

Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower.

~Albert Camus

 

* Image via Tumblr.

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Fresh New Look of The Silver Pen

Hellooooooo! In addition to recovering from surgery, traveling for speaking engagements and writing a new book (more on that tomorrow!), I have been redesigning the blog.  Why you ask?  Well, it just didn’t feel quite right in it’s previous state.  I felt like it needed a little “nip and tuck” if you will. Speaking of “nip and tuck,” after my surgery, I promised the HOTY and myself that I would never ever ever get a face lift or liposuction or any other plastic surgery.  There is absolutely no way humanely possible that I would go – electively – under the knife.  I know many people who have had work done and it’s not in any way to criticize or – heaven forbid! – judge. In fact, the women I know who have had work look A-MA-ZING! My proclamation is simply because everything that could go wrong in a surgical suite (and after) seems to for me.  I can ONLY IMAGINE what I would look like if I tried plastic surgery. Cruella De Vil would have nothing on me. Ha!

That was quite a divergence…sorry.

Anyhoo, this explains why I haven’t been posting as consistently as I would normally.  Hope that you understand.  One thing that I know for sure in my post-FBC (f-bomb breast cancer) life is that there is only so much that I can do and that health (in the form of eating well, sleep, exercise, meditation) and relationships are now at the tippy top of my priority list.  The truth is that I try my hardest to walk The Silver Lining walk. It’s certainly not easy, but even trying to stay on the path makes me feel happy, peaceful and balanced.

I hope that you like the new site.  I’d love and appreciate your feedback and ideas.  Tomorrow, I have a humongous announcement to make and am so incredibly excited about it!  In the meantime, I am packing for a trip to New York to share the big announcement on Good Morning America!

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A Valuable Lesson in Following Intuition

A Valuable Lesson

This is my first week back at work and on the road, which required every bit of mental and physical strength that I could muster. My first trip was to the great state of Texas. Earlier this year I was invited to be the Keynote Speaker at the Pink Alliance annual luncheon fundraiser, Surviving & Thriving, in College Station, Texas (home of Texas A&M).

The luncheon was a sold out event with over 700 (!!!!) in attendance. Last week, I became a little panic-y about going. After all, it was my first time on a flight in over 6 weeks, I was going by myself AND the event was sold out! Ohhhh, AND it was a mere 5 weeks ago that I had my surgery and I was still feeling only about 70% strong. Both the HOTY (Husband Of The Year) and my doctor thought that I was nuts to make this trip, assuring me that everyone would understand if I needed to reschedule.

However, my intuition said to go. I now know to trust my intuition, always and in all ways. So, I decided to make the trip. Now it wasn’t to say that I wasn’t scared witless, after all, my brain cells are still not fully functioning and I become winded if I walk more than 20 minutes (considering that I was going through the ENORMOUS Dallas Fort Worth airport, mobility was going to be part and parcel of this trip). But, I knew in my heart of hearts that I was supposed to go.

Now, the travel was indeed EXHAUSTING. Oh dear heavens to Betsy. It didn’t help that my flight was delayed from Los Angeles to Dallas which meant that I landed with a mere 15 minutes to make my connecting flight, which meant not walking through the airport but RUNNING…at 9:00 at night (about 3 hours after my jammies are usually on!). Uh huh. Despite being unable to breathe from the physical exercise, my spirit was calm, knowing that all would be well.

And you know what? Everything was better than well, it was spectacular.

From the moment I walked into the room, instead of feeling out of my mind frightened (which would have been an easy route for me to travel considering the size of the audience), I redirected my anxiety to take in the environment. Each and every person in the room had been impacted in some way by FBC, whether directly or indirectly. I have always said that FBC doesn’t happen to one person, it happens to family, friends and community as well. Well, this was an amazing community of people with the best energy! The event was a great celebration of life, friendship and health. It was my complete honor and privilege to have this opportunity and to be with these phenomenal people!

This is what a room of 750 people looks like!!

This is Theresa who won a copy of The Silver Lining.

More information on the amazing Pink Alliance organization.

* Photography by Daniela Weaver.

The post A Valuable Lesson in Following Intuition appeared first on The Silver Pen.

A Valuable Lesson in Following Intuition

A Valuable Lesson

This is my first week back at work and on the road, which required every bit of mental and physical strength that I could muster. My first trip was to the great state of Texas. Earlier this year I was invited to be the Keynote Speaker at the Pink Alliance annual luncheon fundraiser, Surviving & Thriving, in College Station, Texas (home of Texas A&M).

The luncheon was a sold out event with over 700 (!!!!) in attendance. Last week, I became a little panic-y about going. After all, it was my first time on a flight in over 6 weeks, I was going by myself AND the event was sold out!  Ohhhh, AND it was a mere 5 weeks ago that I had my surgery and I was still feeling only about 70% strong. Both the HOTY (Husband Of The Year) and my doctor thought that I was nuts to make this trip, assuring me that everyone would understand if I needed to reschedule.

However, my intuition said to go. I now know to trust my intuition, always and in all ways.  So, I decided to make the trip. Now it wasn’t to say that I wasn’t scared witless, after all, my brain cells are still not fully functioning and I become winded if I walk more than 20 minutes (considering that I was going through the ENORMOUS Dallas Fort Worth airport, mobility was going to be part and parcel of this trip). But, I knew in my heart of hearts that I was supposed to go.

Now, the travel was indeed EXHAUSTING.  Oh dear heavens to Betsy. It didn’t help that my flight was delayed from Los Angeles to Dallas which meant that I landed with a mere 15 minutes to make my connecting flight, which meant not walking through the airport but RUNNING…at 9:00 at night (about 3 hours after my jammies are usually on!).  Uh huh. Despite being unable to breathe from the physical exercise, my spirit was calm, knowing that all would be well.

And you know what?  Everything was better than well, it was spectacular.

From the moment I walked into the room, instead of feeling out of my mind frightened (which would have been an easy route for me to travel considering the size of the audience), I redirected my anxiety to take in the environment.  Each and every person in the room had been impacted in some way by FBC, whether directly or indirectly. I have always said that FBC doesn’t happen to one person, it happens to family, friends and community as well. Well, this was an amazing community of people with the best energy!  The event was a great celebration of life, friendship and health. It was my complete honor and privilege to have this opportunity and to be with these phenomenal people!

This is what a room of 750 people looks like!! This is Theresa who won a copy of The Silver Lining. 

More information on the amazing Pink Alliance organization.

* Photography by Daniela Weaver.

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