Simon Wroe's Blog, page 6
November 19, 2013
WORST. RECIPE. EVER.
Now this is a truly awful recipe. “Created” by a professional chef, no less, for BBC’s Ready, Steady, Cook. I know they’re pressed for time on that show, but still. Nothing excuses this. It’s just three greasy things next to each other on a plate.
Click on the title link and tell me that isn’t the laziest bit of cooking you’ve ever heard of. And if it’s not, tell me what is. I want to know.
November 18, 2013
October 21, 2013
A STICKY WALNUT TRIBUTE
@StickyWalnut reaches the corners that other chef Twitter accounts can’t reach. Believe me, I’ve spent months looking. Most of the celebrity chef accounts are only interested in promotion, and most of the others, actual working chefs, seem to prefer talking about anything except cooking.
Sticky Walnut is a very recent discovery, but it paints such a good picture of restaurant life that I wanted to share some early finds.
The twitter account is for a restaurant in Chester, in the north of England, and appears to be run by the head chef, Gary Usher. I’m not sure if the place is doing quite as badly as the tweets suggest. I hope not.
You may be sensing a hint of disenchantment by now, but it’s not all doom and gloom. Occasionally the chef is moved to poetic sentiment.
It doesn’t last long.
Adam appears to be the long-suffering maitre d’ …
I know I’m describing this like it’s Fawlty Towers or a Kingsley Amis novel, but it is SO GOOD.
When he’s not drinking or complaining about the lack of customers or life generally, the chef seems to spend a lot of time watching his stock pots.
There’s too much good stuff to go into it all, but for me the best thing is the particular insight it gives onto the world of chefs: the language, the chaos of service, the humour and characters, the proud sardonic mentality that is unique to the kitchen.
Anyway, that’s quite enough of me blabbing on about it, but do check it out sometime. And Mr Usher, please don’t change a thing.
To which the correct chef response is: “CHOP CHOP”
To which the correct chef response is: “CHOP CHOP”
October 17, 2013
THE MADNESS OF MARC VEYRAT
About ten years ago I saw one of Marc Veyrat’s menus reprinted in a newspaper and it blew my mind. I couldn’t believe the food was real. How could you eat a lake? What the hell was ‘Virtual Eucalyptus Semolina’ or ‘Extravagant Salad from Elsewhere’? And who was the strange gothic farmer responsible for this stuff?
His alpine restaurant, La Ferme de mon Pere, didn’t sound like a particularly enjoyable experience. Veyrat stalked between the tables, shouting at people for not eating his food correctly. Lunch could take up to six hours and cost at least £200 a head.
But I loved the details surrounding the place. Every morning Veyrat would wander the nearby hills and woods, dressed entirely in black, foraging for wild ingredients that often only he knew how to use. Apparently he had turned to cooking after he was expelled from school for setting fire to a teacher.
The whole thing was massively pretentious in a way that only the French have mastered. And it was deeply, wonderfully mad: what Artaud was to critical thinking, what O.D.B. was to rap.
Below are a few other dishes from the menu. Read them and let your mind swim…
Yesterday’s, Today’s and Tomorrow’s Vegetables cooked in a clay pot
Lake Féra Cooked on its Skin, Ice Cube with Alpine Avens Flavour
Hot Escalope of Liver, Fragrant Myrrh Vinegar
Roasted Char in Spruce Bark, Poppy Seed Milk
Hedge Woundwort Soup, Iced Wilted Echalottes, Hint of Back Bacon
Baby Potato Cappuccino with Truffles, Cloud of Cocoa
Warm Duck Irish Coffee
Veal Filet, Queen of the Meadow Runny Yoghurt, Coffee Bonbons, New Rice, Swish of Black Juice
My Childhood Desserts
