Kevin James Breaux's Blog, page 3

Necromancer Class – Good? Bad? It’s a Dirty Job. They Love it.

Greetings Skeletons, Zombies, and Litches! Good evening, my name is Claudius Clavius Cruor. You may have guessed from my pallid skin, and toothy grin, that I am a vampire. No. Ha ha ha. No. I did not eat the proprietor of this fine establishment. In fact, it was Balbo who called in one of his famous markers to get me to come here tonight to host the glorious gathering of ghouls.   

Yes, my children, the undead are welcome here at The Dragon’s Beard tonight. Not sure if you are living or dead? Oh? Well, do parts of you randomly fall off? Do people say, “what stinks” when you enter a room? Do you crave the taste of human flesh? Do you have the word “dread” before your title? Yes? Me too! Ha ha ha. My friend, you may be the walking dead, a reanimated corpse, or something far more sinister. Regardless, enjoy your time in this world. It can be short…for some.

If you answered no, but find yourself surrounded by the dead, well then, ha ha ha, you, my friend might be a necromancer yourself.

Necromancers practice necromancy obviously. Necromancy is the act of (magical or not) conjuring, raising, and/or controlling the dead. During this superior celebration of callousness, we will be specifically celebrating magic users who communicate with the deceased.

So, take a seat, allow one of our spectral barmaids to bring you something sanguine to drink, and let our formerly deceased bards sing you a song about times long-long past, when their hearts still beat. Their fables can make a banshee wail.

Weapons and Armor

Give a necromancer a pair of prickly daggers and they will be happy. They like simple weapons, like many other magic using classes. A mace, quarterstaff, club; any of these will be fine. They do the job, right, my monstrous mates?

As far as armor, you may have guessed it, light armor like leather, studded, and padded armors are the restriction. A step up from some of the cloth armor wearing spellcasters, which is nice. You know the more wicked necromancers must love to flaunt their armor to the armorless wizard class. It stinks to be so squishy. It stinks for them. Ha ha ha.

What kind of jokes do you think a necromancer would tell about wizards at a party? Something like this perhaps?

What did one necromancer say to the other necromancer? How many cloth-wearing wizards did you raise this week?

Ha! No? How about this?

Why did the wizard break up with the necromancer? Because every time they tried to have a conversation, the necromancer kept ghosting them!

Ha ha ha!

Magic

While your cleric is focused on curing diseases, removing poisons, and healing the injuries of others, your necromancer is the powerfully polar opposite. Necromancers will cast spells that cause diseases, poison their enemies, and drain the life force from others. Devious, right? Spells that create fear and pain are at the top of their spell lists, but what most people roll a necromancer for is raising, animating, creating, and controlling the dead.

Necromancy spells allow their casters to chill out in the back, behind a legion of dead/undead soldiers. Don’t have a squad? Don’t need one. You can create your own! Had a squad, but they died. Don’t stress, you can reanimate their corpses and have them fight for you. Hey, there is something to that ancient necromancer saying, if you want something done right, raise the dead and command them to do it right.

Seriously, necromancers have spells that can allow them to be quite confident solo questers. They can control and disperse crowds, use the undead to tank for them, reanimate a rogue to do some DPS, and then sit back and life tap to keep themselves healthy.

Races

Classically, Humans, Half-Orcs and Elves make good necromancers. In the more recent rulesets, consider races like Tieflings, Yuan-ti, Aasmir, even Hobgoblins.

Humans always make good magic users, and have clear and balanced stats to start, so we suggest them for your first necromancer build. That said, Tiefling is a good choice too for bonuses to charisma, which is very important for your necromancer. Try and deny it, but a Tiefling necromancer will just look badass and make other gamers jealous!

Backgrounds

Among tabletop gamers, a lot of discussion forms around which background is best for a successful necromancer build. Charlatan, Cloistered Scholar, Noble, and Hermit get thrown around a lot. The hermit background gets lots of love because you can create a really fun backstory for your necromancer with it. But the others work well too. Charlatan leans into your dark side and gives you some added deceptive skills. Noble adds persuasion skills that fit with your heavy charm. Hermit adds support skill to your team and Cloistered Scholar gives you a choice of helpful proficiencies in Arcana, Nature, or Religion. Sage is another excellent choice for obvious reasons: access to more magic! Mo’ magic. Mo’ undead followers, this necromancer likes to say.

Who should play a Necromancer?

Not every necromancer is an evil necromancer. And becoming “The” evil necromancer, takes years of study and toil. That said, of course most gamers will pick “evil necromancer” over “goodie-little two-shoes necromancer.” So, we ask you to answer these simple questions. One: are some of your best friends dead? Two: does casting magic that interrupts the actions, and basically ruins the plans (and lives) of your opponent’s appeal to you? Do you wanna be part of that wicked shit?

Again, if you answer yes to more than one of these questions then you clearly want to rock with the dead. Go for it, be that necromancer! Have fun gamer!

Tabletop Beard will Help you Raise that Living Dead Beard to New Levels!

Let the necromancers at Tabletop Beard cast their spells to raise your facial hair from the dead and bring your beard back to life! Tabletop Beard has been studying the art of beard-romancy for years and has just the magical potions (beard oil, beard butter, bard balm, and beard wash) you need to keep your beard healthy, tamed, and under control.

Gains…. Gains…

Yes! You will see gains with the right beard care products from Tabletop Beard. The necromancer’s scent of Graveside lavender never smelled so good.

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The Brawler Class – Serving up Knuckle Sandwiches at a Tavern Near You!

 No. No, I’m not looking at you. No, I don’t want trouble. No. No. No. I don’t want to go.

Oh, you cannot imagine the number of times old Balbo will have to say that this weekend. I’ll be breaking up fistfights and barroom brawls all day and night till Monday morning. I’ll need to hire some bodyguards, which should be easy, since many of the brawlers in attendance work as guards too. Ha!

I’m glad you’re here today, old friend. It’s nice to share a drink while the inn is still quiet. Ho! Sometimes, I wonder if celebrating such a volatile class is worth it. You know, I tried skipping the celebration years ago, but it did not stop these scrapy fighters from finding a way to gather, brake bones, and bloody lips.

Yeah, to keep the town safe, it’s best to manage these brutes. Hmm…that has me thinking. What if I create a traveling group of brawlers who put on fights in each town, and we crown a champion at the end of the bouts? Maybe charge people admission like they do the circus. I could call it…Balbo’s Ultimate Brawlers. 

Weapons and Armor

Brawlers are first and foremost fearless barehand fighters. They are considered masters of hand-to-hand combat. Do they need weapons? No. Can they use them? Sure. They can use simple weapons like a club or a dagger. And you know they love brass knuckles. As far as armor, it just gets in their way and limits or removes some of their best bonuses. However, they can wear light armor if they want. It does help soak up the blood that splatters from the faces of their opponents.

Races

As you can imagine, the best brawler races are the big and tough ones that focus on strength and constitution. If you were thinking of making an Orc or Half-Orc brawler, you’re right on track. The Orc race feeds right into the stats you want to have boosted on your brawler class character. But do not feel like you need to be limited to Orcs, Dwarves can be a fun pick too. Imagine your Dwarf sitting in a tavern enjoying an ale, cracking his knuckles as he waits for a worthy opponent to battle with. Maybe that challenger is the regal-looking Aasimar sitting in the corner. For those of you who like to stick to human characters, finding them most relatable, lol, go ahead and roll one. Just don’t come crying to old Balbo when they lose some teeth and their charisma drops. Ha! Just Kidding!

Backgrounds

There are some fun options for your brawler’s backstory. Maybe your brawler has been bullying people all their life, using their size and strength to force weaker individuals to give them what they want, like drinks, or healing potion money. Perhaps, they put those bullying tendencies to use and became a thug or enforcer for a guild or criminal organization. It’s always possible that your brawler character is good-natured and is working as a bodyguard, protecting a traveling royal or wealthy merchant. Kimmicus Kardashdemon has several Half-Orc brawlers on her payroll.

Seeking a more common and simple background, have your brawler simply live their life as a tavern brawler, seeking a thrill after finishing an ale. Or…they could be in a mysterious underground fight club. You did not hear that from us. We have NO idea where any of those are. *WINK*

Want to be unique? Have your brawler become a devious cult member or embrace their devotion and become a religious zealot. Their motto can be, “I break noses for the lord!”

See, there is more to life than being a charlatan or urchin. Make your own fable.

Who should roll a Brawler?

A tabletop gamer who likes to settle differences with their fists. The brawler can be a fun change and challenge for gamers who have enjoyed playing as a fighter, monk, or barbarian. They may not be a replacement for the tank in your squad, but they can be a good addition and add some much-needed DPS and take some of the heat off your other teammates.

Think about it, who is your favorite brawler? Could it be Rowdy Roddy Piper (WWE)? Mike Tyson? James Dalton (Roadhouse)? Jack Reacher (Reacher)? Spider-Man? No? How about the Hulk? We’d love to hear your thoughts.

We appreciate what a good Brawler brings to the table at Tabletop Beard

We’ll say this, sometimes it’s good to have a brawler in your corner. You never know when a fight might break out and you would rather down some ale than raise some fists. Tabletop Beard celebrates our best brawling buddies with a scent that will make them feel at home in their favorite fantasy tavern. Enjoy the scent of oatmeal stout, as it mingles gentle with the well-worn scent of leather and is punctuated by a touch of golden honey. 

Tabletop gamers rejoice! Your new favorite beard oil is here!

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Bard Class – The Face Your Team Always Needed

Welcome to the Dragon’s Beard! Tonight, we are featuring the first ever Battle of the Bards! Bards from across the lands have traveled day and night to come here to perform for you! The winner will be determined by the audience. Yes, townsfolk and adventures like you! So, have your ears, elven or otherwise, ready to pick who has the best songs to sing, the greatest tales to tell, and a voice that could make even a sultry siren quit singing and take note.

 Are you ready Dragon’s Beard? Are you? Then let the Battle of the Bards begin!!!

Bard Weapons and Armor

Bards enjoy wearing light armor (leather, studded, and sometimes half plate) and using simple weapons like short swords, long swords, and daggers. They may also carry a light or hand crossbow. Along with weapons, a bard will carry its best tool, a musical instrument. Which instrument would your bard carry? Lutes are a crowd favorite, but people also choose lyres, flutes, drums, and violas too.

Bard Races

Many people like Half-Elves and Teiflings most. Let’s not look past the good old human bard, he/she can be a real blast at parties!

If you saw the new Dungeons and Dragons: Honor Among Thieves movie you would have recognized Chris Pine playing a human bard. Who is your favorite bard and what movie, book, or game were they in?

Bard Backgrounds

Common backgrounds for bards include Criminal, which is great if your bard will be the acting rogue of the group, and Urban Bounty Hunter, which is all about the fun customization. However, Couturier seems like the best pick with its additional two skills which can fortify them as the team face and languages which are equally helpful. Urchin also works for those rogue replacing bards.

Doesn’t the light armor make sense now, especially if you are dancing around strumming a lute or banging on some drums during a late-night party. Or sneaking around collecting some extra coin from unattended purses afterwards.

What Makes a Good Bard?

Style and grace! No? Maybe? Ha!

Well, to be honest, gamers… A great bard is someone who wants to take charge and be the face of the team. This person will take point not only in conversations, but in the dark forest or damp dungeon. Perception is a strong bard skill and can help save the lives of your buddies when the team is navigating a labyrinth. Being the face of the team often means doing all the talking and bards can score high with intimidation and persuasion.

A bard is a good choice for someone who can’t decide which class they want to play the most. As a bard you can have stealth and other rogue skills along with various spells to cast. In fact, they have access to a ton of different skills which makes them one of the most versatile character classes. Therefore, a player can choose a bard and multiclass them with the one of the other classes they enjoy like fighter or rogue. You could even multiclass a bard with a warlock or paladin. Crazy, right?

Well, bards are full casters just like clerics and wizards, so make sure you lean heavily on your charisma because it is the single most important attribute for you.

Without Bards Our Lives, and Games, Would be so Much Duller.

Thank you, Christian Cornknell for that amazing rendition of Black Dragon Son!

CHEERS

The turnout here at the Dragon’s Beard has been incredible. Twenty-three bards performed at the Battle of the Bards today. Have you chosen your favorite? Your host, old Balbo Garabaldi has! Let’s list the top three based on applause and lack of rotten vegetables thrown at them. I’m looking at you, James the Page. HA!

First up, we have Meddie Frercury and his We Are The Elven Champions ballad. Second, Tailor Driftwood and her tale of Heartbreak at the Heart-shaped Lake. And last, but not least, Jonas the Living Legend with the passionate Fall with Me.

Now, when I place my hand over the bard whose performance you enjoyed the most hoot, holler, and shout at your loudest. Shall we begin?

Which of you adventurers loved the Elven newcomer Meddie Frercury the most?

CHEERS

Which of you treasure seekers enjoyed the seamstress turned bard, Tailor Driftwood the most?

CHEERS

And let’s not forget the Living Legend, Jonas! Who loved his romantic tales the most?

CHEERS

 We have a clear winner. The winner is… You! Why? Because you picked the bard class!

Tabletop Beard’s bard scent is a fan favorite too! Have you tried it yet? It captures the class with an aroma of vanilla coffee and maple glaze. Turn up the volume and enjoy!

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Tabletop Beard has Beard Wash

Great news! We have Beard Wash!

Greetings, bold beard growers! Welcome back to Tabletop Beard. We have exciting news! Yes, our alchemists and sorcerers have been hard at work, and they have created something exciting and new. It is called beard wash, and we think you might enjoy it.

What is Beard Wash and Why do I need it?

Beard Wash is made specifically to clean your beard and the skin underneath it. Sometimes, you might find it listed or advertised as beard shampoo.

You might be thinking, why do I need it? I use my head shampoo to clean my beard. Well, that might be why your beard is looking so dry, adventurer. You see, normal hair shampoos are designed to clean the hair on top of your head and remove all the oils from it. That is not what you want to do to your facial hair, trust us.

Your beard needs moisturizing and oils. Therefore, it is best to use a cleanser designed exactly for your beard. Fun fact, the skin on your face is super sensitive. Think of it as lacking armor. You need to focus on protecting it a little more than parts of your body that have coverings, like your chest or legs.

If you are serious about growing a nice beard, maintaining it, and keeping it good and healthy, you should consider a premium beard wash with the finest ingredients like ours.    

What is in our Beard Wash?

Tabletop Beard uses high-quality ingredients like meadowfoam seed oil, sunflower seed oil, avocado oil, rosa canina seed oil, and jojoba seed oil in all of their beard care products. Our wash is also specially formulated to be gentle enough for daily use.

How do I use Beard Wash?

Using Beard Wash is simple. Great news, you can do it in the shower or while you are washing your face. Your choice, whatever fits your schedule best. To break it down for you, you will wet your beard first with some warm water, next you will place a small amount of beard wash in your hands and rub them together before massaging it through your beard. Lather it up and then give it a good rinse. Once done bathing or washing your face, dry your beard with a towel. Lastly, we suggest some of our beard oil or beard butter to add additional protection and conditioning. Think of it like adding a +1 to your beard armor, gamers.

Ranger and Bard are two of our best-selling scents. Give one or both a try.

Conclusion

The best beards out there are being well cared for by people who love them. By visiting Tabletop Beard, we know you care about the wellness of your beard and want it to grow well and last forever. Guess what, you are already well on your journey. Great job!

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Should You Dye your Beard? Here’s what You Need to Know

Gray beard hairs are inevitable in most men’s life. They seem to appear out of nowhere. They are sneaky and like to grow faster and longer than normal hairs. Sometimes, they will sprout straight out the side of your cheeks like a set of cat’s whiskers!

Regardless, when these gray or white hairs begin to outnumber your naturally colored ones, it may be time to consider dyeing your beard.

There is no shame in wanting to look your best, beard care adventurer! And if that means you feel like you need to dye your beard, we support that decision. Maybe you want to look younger, maybe you prefer your former hair color to the color you are displaying now.

Know Your Products

If you are going to dye your gray beard, do it carefully. Pick the right products. It is not always helpful to buy the cheapest beard care products you find online.

Do your research, read the reviews, and ask your friendly neighborhood barbershop. Look for products with ingredients that don’t look like they would appear on a rogue’s list of components for poisons.

Simply put, make an educated decision.

First step, choose a color that is as close as possible to your natural shade. Remember, there are differences between temporary, semi-permanent, and permanent. (pretty much self-explanatory by the names).  

Do a test run. Just pick a tiny spot on the side of your face and test the dye out first. This will help you learn whether the dye is safe to use on the rest of your face.

It may sound like a waste of time, but it is not. Some people have had allergic reactions to dye (swelling, rash, and hives). You don’t want to miss out on the next epic quest because you have a nasty, itchy rash, right?

Be aware that these are the most likely culprits, and some may be unavoidable.

Paraphenylenediamine (PPD) (do your best to avoid this one)ResorcinolAmmoniaHydrogen peroxideRisks to Be Aware of When Dyeing Your Beard

Dyeing your beard can be a great way to change up your look or cover up grays, but it’s important to be aware of potential risks to ensure a safe and satisfying experience. Here’s a quick rundown of common risks and how to avoid them:

Allergic Reactions: Some beard dyes contain chemicals like PPD, which can cause skin irritation, redness, or swelling. Always do a patch test 48 hours before applying the dye.Skin Irritation: Sensitive skin may react to the ingredients in beard dye, leading to itching, burning, or rashes. Opt for hypoallergenic or natural dye options to minimize this risk.Uneven Color: Dye can sometimes take unevenly, especially on coarse or patchy beard hair. Ensure proper application and follow the dye instructions carefully for even coverage.Staining: Beard dye can stain your skin, hands, or clothing. Use gloves during application and apply petroleum jelly around your beard to protect your skin.Dryness and Damage: Frequent dyeing can strip your beard hair of natural oils, making it dry and brittle. Use a beard conditioner or beard oil to keep your hair healthy and hydrated.Unnatural Results: Choosing the wrong shade or over-dyeing can result in a look that’s too harsh or artificial. Select a color close to your natural shade for a subtle, natural appearance.Chemical Exposure: Prolonged use of chemical-based dyes can lead to long-term hair or skin damage. Consider semi-permanent or natural alternatives if you dye your beard often.

By being mindful of these risks and taking the proper precautions, you can safely dye your beard and achieve the look you’re going for.

What Is a Gray Wash for Beards?

A gray wash is a subtle dyeing technique used to enhance or blend the natural gray tones in your beard, rather than completely covering them. This method is ideal for men who want to maintain a distinguished, salt-and-pepper look while adding a touch of uniformity and vibrancy to their facial hair.

Benefits of a Gray Wash:Natural Appearance: Unlike traditional dyes that can completely hide grays, a gray wash works with your natural tones, creating a soft and refined look.Low Maintenance: Since it enhances rather than hides gray hairs, regrowth is less noticeable, meaning fewer touch-ups are needed.Customizable Shades: Gray washes come in various tones, allowing you to select a shade that complements your hair color and skin tone.How to Apply a Gray Wash:Choose the Right Product: Look for a beard dye or gray blending product labeled for gradual or subtle coloring.Perform a Patch Test: As with any dye, check for allergies or sensitivities by applying a small amount to your skin first.Follow Instructions Carefully: Apply the product evenly to your beard, focusing on areas where gray hairs need blending.Monitor the Process: Leave the dye on for a shorter time than traditional dyes to avoid over-darkening, and rinse thoroughly.Who Should Consider a Gray Wash?

A gray wash is perfect for men who:

Want to embrace their natural grays without fully committing to a solid color.Prefer a polished but understated look.Are starting to go gray and want a smoother transition.

By opting for a gray wash, you can highlight the natural beauty of your beard while maintaining a timeless and sophisticated style.

Should You Go DIY or Professional?

Deciding whether to dye your beard yourself or seek a professional barber is a key decision:

DIY Dyeing: Cost-effective and convenient, but it requires patience and precision to avoid mistakes.Professional Help: A barber can ensure even application and help you select the perfect shade, ideal for first-timers.How to Maintain a Dyed Beard

Dyeing your beard is only half the battle—keeping it vibrant and healthy is the real challenge! Here are some tips to maintain your dyed beard:

Use Beard-Safe Shampoo: Choose a mild, sulfate-free beard shampoo to prevent your color from fading.Condition Regularly: Use a quality beard conditioner or oil to restore moisture, reduce dryness, and keep your beard soft.Apply Beard Oil to a Dyed Beard

Remember the most basic fact about beard oil is that it coats and protects like plate mail armor.

So, great news, my bearded friends! Good, premium beard oils, like the ones Tabletop Beard provides, will not strip your color, or make your dye job fade. Ho! In fact, beard oils will help keep your dyed beard healthy.

So, that could mean that the beard oil may help the dye last longer on your facial hair. That’s helpful, right?

And by the way, our Winter Solstice beard oil may do the trick!

Conclusion: Dye Your Beard WITH Confidence to RAISE Your Confidence

It is your decision whether you dye your beard or not. You do what feels right to you.

Just do some quick research and get a good dye. Then, continue to use your trusted Tabletop Beard premium beard care products like our number one seller, the Ranger beard oil.

Remember, friends, Tabletop Beard has your back, but mostly your front, because that is where your beard is! HA!

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A Time Mage’s Guide to Video Game Systems – RPG Games of The Early Days of Personal Computing

Welcome back, hello again, and nice to finally meet you. I’m Marius Breaux the Time Mage and I am here in Balbo’s fine establishment to talk about the early days of RPG games on the PC, Apple, Commodore 64, and all those other whacky home computers of the early 80s.

You see, in the time I am from, everyone from the richest man to the simplest of pauper carries their own person computer in their hand. They are always and forever plugged into the net and can obtain all sorts of information within a fraction of a microsecond. It’s true. You can even tell the future by looking at the weather forecast in the days ahead.

(Marius pauses to allow the crowd to gasp.)

Alas, it was not always that way. Like you, sweet and kind common folk of this realm, people once had to sit stationary in their own homes to play complex strategy and RPG games and they played them on things called personal computers.

When personal computers first arrived in people’s homes, they were designed for elementary computations and straightforward word processing. But, in the world I come from, ingenuity always leads to a way for people to play their games.

Balbo, imagine playing cards with your meat locker. Odd, right? Well, in my time they are called refrigerators, and you can play solitaire on them as you decide what meat you want to defrost.

So, as you can imagine, in the early 1980s of my world, innovation brought us all sorts of new, fun, and stimulating games to play. Let us begin with this small sampling of fan favorites. Perhaps you have heard of them.

Wizardry

In 1981, the first Wizardry game was released and, in many ways, changed gaming forever. Wizardry is one of the most well-known and played RPG games on PCs back in the early 80s. It opened the door, or shall we say, unlocked the gate, for other game creators and developers.

Wizardry: Proving Grounds of the Mad Overlord was the brainchild of Sir-Tech Software based in the United States.

Based on Dungeons and Dragons, the game starts with you in a town (represented by a text menu) and has you create characters for your new party. You get to pick from the typical D&D races like: Humans, Elves, Dwarves, Hobbits, and Gnomes. You can also pick your alignments from good, neutral, and evil. Lastly, you can pick from several beginner classes: Fighter, Mage, Priest.

Sounds like a normal night for new adventures in this town right, Balbo? Well, it’s that familiarity that made the game popular. Pen and Paper gamers who owned a computer jumped at the chance to start a new journey. Once equipped in basic gear the game began! Best of lucky, brave pioneer!

Wizardry is what the call a “dungeon crawler.” What is that? Well, it’s the kind of fantasy RPG game where you spend most of your time navigating a maze of traps, puzzles, and enemies. Oh…treasure too! Don’t forget the treasure!

One thing that those early 80s gamers will tell you is that the first Wizardry game was relentless. The level of difficulty was intense because you could not save the game within the dungeons. You had to survive and find an exit before you could save your progress.

Back in the day, Wizardry was a best-selling game and it kicked off a long series of sequels and remakes.

Have you played the original? Or maybe you have played one of the follow-ups? This old Time Mage put a lot of hours into Wizardry: Crusaders of the Dark Savant back in the 1990s.

If you are someone who values their time, like me, then you might be wondering how long it would take to complete this game. Well, set aside somewhere in the 28-to-33-hour range.

The Bard’s Tale

In 1985, the first Bard’s Tale was released on the Apple II by Interplay Productions. The game starts off in the fictional town of Skara Brae. Heard of it? I think I have a second cousin who lives there. It was a large town back in the day, a whopping 30 by 30 square map tiles!!! 

Like Wizardry, you start the game by putting together a team of characters. In The Bard’s Tale, you will need six to complete your squad. Get ready to pick from some more familiar classes like, Monk, Rogue, Paladin, Bard, Hunter, Warrior, Conjurer, and Magician.

Of course, you are going to want to play a bard. The game is named after the class. And when playing the Bard, you will be rewarded with the ability to sing magical songs that will improve the stats and armor of your teammates. The bard’s songs even trigger actual music in the game, some of which was classical in theme.

For magic-users, casting spells has never been easier! All you had to do was open the game’s printed manual and find the four-letter code. Boom! Fireball!

In the Bard’s Tale you get some excellent turn-based combat, but it’s all in text. So, get your readers ready children of the eighties if you plan to revisit this one.

Remember, this was back in a day when selling 100,000 copies of a game was considered a massive success. The Bard’s Tale sold over 407,000 copies before 1990. I wonder if the developers were all driving red Lamborghini back then?

I hope you have saved 30-40 hours of time to give this one a try. It’s fun and part of the important foundation of PC RPG gaming.

Advanced Dungeons & Dragons – Pool of Radiance

The first adaptation of Dungeons and Dragons on home computers was released in 1988 by Strategic Solutions. It was a single player tactical role-playing game. The game held to the AD&D rules set by TSR. The game’s cover art by Clyde Caldwell gave it the feel of a novel cover or an illustration for a module, which I bet hooked many gamers. (I’m 90% sure this is why I bought it.)

One of the most exciting things about this game is it takes place in the Forgotten Realms fantasy world (a famous campaign setting for D&D). The story begins with the players arriving at a town which has fallen into ruin. It was once a nice spot, and now few humans reside there and evil surrounds it.

The game promised the D&D experience. Form a team of six adventures from the familiar D&D classes, pick from the races from the AD&D rulebooks, and choose alignments for them too. It was your chance to play your favorite pen and paper RPG game solo!

“Exploration” mode had you running a 3d maze and combat mode was viewed from top-down. The game had decent graphics for its time and was ported to Apple, Amiga, and later NES. Did you play it on NES?

With the right mix of strength, courage, and will, a gamer could finish Pool of Radiance in about 30 hours.

Ultima 4: Quest for the Avatar

One word. Cloth Map. Yes, the game came boxed with a high-quality cloth map. If you have never seen the Ultima cloth maps, Google them; they are rad!

Ultima 4: Quest for the Avatar was released in 1985 by Origin System and it also had cover art which was stunning and caught the eye of gamers. The art appeared to have a Jesus-like character parting a sea with a staff with a glowing ankh on it.

Originally released for Apple II, the game was successful and released on just about every other imaginable system at the time and for years to come. Commodore 64? Yes. Atari 8-bit? Yes. Sega Master System? Yep! NES? That too!

This game has a lot of reasons why it stands apart from the others. First off, it is not set it a dark age or time or setting of ruin. It’s in an age of prosperity. Cool, right? Well, that’s not all. This game does not have a “big bad.” You know what I mean, no all-encompassing, great, mastermind, super evil, mega arch demon fiend. Nope. Just you. This game focuses on you. Your improvement. Your ability to grow and make good morale decisions. Also cool, right?

Another neat detail is you are not building your character in the normal way. Instead of rolling or picking stats and classes you are asked questions by a fortune teller and how you answer determines your resulting characteristics. What does that mean? Well, if your answers tend to favor honor then you will probably roll a Paladin.

The game itself looks and feels a lot of Ultima: Exodus (which is more than fine by me, I love Ultima: Exodus)(It’s a top 5 game!). Ultima 4 is much later though and has a nice open world feel for the time.

Ready to jump on some quests and sub quests? Me too. Let’s just go check in with Lord British first. And remember, he is invulnerable/immortal. Don’t bother attacking him. Trust me.

If you can avoid stealing anything and remember to give a few coins to beggars, you might be able to finish this game in about 34 to 40 hours. If you are a completionist, prepare to invest over 50.

Might and Magic II: Gates to Another World

In 1988, many gamers entered the world of Might and Magic with Might and Magic II: Gates to Another World. This single-player RPG game was released by New World Computing. Yes, it is another sequel. As you can imagine, many of the games in this list are parts of a series. Like everyone hope with movies, a sequel should be better than its predecessor. Might and Magic II achieved that goal and improved on Might and Magic I in many ways, but most noticeable was the graphics and interface. The game just simply looked and controlled better which made it easier and more fun to play.

Once again, the player is set to create a team. Like many of the games listed above the team consisted of six characters the player created. Where Might and Magic II stood apart was that you could create up to twenty characters and swap them out. You could even import characters from the original to play in the sequel. That is a feature we love!

Might and Magic II focused on lots of battle, but also had some puzzles for the gamer to solve. It did not lack in humor either. Unlike some of the other RPGs of the time, Might and Magic II had lots of peculiarities around for you to discover and have an occasional chuckle over.

Another unusual feature about Might and Magic II was that your characters aged and once over 75 they could die of natural causes. Yep, after investing all the time raising their stats, they might just croak. Kinda puts things in perspective, right?

The game had lots of praise back in the day and often landed 4 of 5 or 5 of 5-star reviews. In 1990, it was listed among the top 50 best PC games and now in 2024 we are listing it in our top PC games too!

Make sure you have your provisions because this one takes time to finish. Prepare for a journey of at least 40 but more realistically 60+ hours.

PHANTASIE

1985 brought us another cool PC game from Strategic Solutions. This one is called Phastasie and it predates Pools of Radiance above (just an FYI).

Phantasie allowed players to form a team of…wait for it…wait for it… YES, six characters (from six different classes), to embark on a quest to defeat an evil sorcerer called Nikademus. We have to wonder if most people picked one character from each class or did they double or triple up on their favorite class in this one.

Imagine a team of three fighters and three priests. Or maybe a team of six monks. Hmmm?

Phantasie had bright colorful graphics that were also very flat and one-dimensional. In some ways, they felt like a mix of Atari 2600 and NES. The game gives you some options in the town and a mix of choices here and there. Expect some puzzle solving at turn-based combat too. It’s a good balance of all your favorite RPG elements. You can find free versions of Phantasie if you Google it. Or at least check out some screenshots.

The game’s developers accredit many well-known fantasy elements as part of the creation of the game from, D&D, Tolkien’s writing, Narnia storylines, and Greek Mythology.  So, of course the game did well. And is considered a favorite among many earlier PC gamers.

We are happy to inform you that Phantasie can be a quick one for some gamers at under 20 hours to finish. 

BONUS!Autoduel

Here is a bonus game for you. It’s not in the fantasy realm, instead it’s based on the popular pen and paper RPG game Car Wars from Steve Jackson Games.

Autoduel allowed gamers to play Car Wars on their computers. It was released in 1985 by Origin Systems. Car Wars was set in the future and had people doing combat in heavily armored and armed cars. It was sometimes in tournament style, others in missions like transporting things from point A to B.

The main RPG feature of the game had players create a driver character and assign skill points to either marksmanship, driving, or mechanics. Then, after a few battles with lender vehicles, you can buy your own armored car and start the main story.

Autoduel’s story had the player performing courier missions. Sound familiar? (We are looking at you, with a side-eye, writers of the Twisted Metal TV show). Through a mainly top-down perspective, you traveled down highways to cities and fought in tournaments.

The game was received well back in 1985. People liked the graphics and enjoyed the gameplay. Sadly, it has not weathered the storm and some gamers do not look back at it as kindly as others do.

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Something’s Rotten at the Dragon’s Beard

a Tabletop Beard story by Kevin Breaux – part two, (find part one here).

Balbo did not get back to work at the tavern until afternoon the following day. He had stayed up late, chatted with his new druid friend, Kreqe Kregrummen, and did not sleep until daybreak. He and Evelyn sent Krege off with a satchel full of food and water, along with some souvenirs from the Dragon’s Beard in the form of trinkets and several bottles of Tabletop Beard’s druid-themed beard oil.

It was clear to Balbo that Krege was happy to return to the wilds, the elf lit up with a huge smile and drew in the deepest inhale of breath Balbo had ever seen a man take. He even recited something Balbo guessed was an elven prayer before he strolled off toward the forest outside of town.

Evelyn said it best, when she turned to Balbo earlier this morning and offered her hopes that they would see Krege again soon. Balbo chuckled to himself as he walked down the stairs and laid eyes on a full tavern of customers eating their lunch.

“Gonna miss that druid’s fuzzy little nose.”

“Morning, Balbo!” Evelyn sung out from behind the bar.

“Morning.” Balbo sneered; Evelyn was just too chipper for him to handle. “What time did you start your day?”

“I have been awake since we saw off Krege.”

“You haven’t slept?”

“No,” she answered.

Balbo shook his head. “Why?”

“Someone needs to run the Dragon’s Beard when its beloved owner is resting.”

“Ha! Beloved.”

“Revered, perhaps?”

“If you are aiming to pocket some extra coin for the hard work today Evelyn—”

“Yes, Balbo?”

“Consider it yours,” he said with a smile. “You’ve earned it.”

“See ladies,” Evelyn called out to the two barmaids on the floor. “All you need to do is butter up old Balbo. He’s a softy.”

Balbo reached the bar, where Evelyn handed him a mug of cider. He drank it dry in one gulp and then ran his hand down his beard. He was so used to her teasing now that he did not feel a need to reply to it. Anyway, there was a cleric at a table in the corner who drew his fullest attention. The man was in the middle of an exciting tale and Balbo loved a good story.

“So, our team was slaughtered before my eyes. I was convinced I was next. That…that thing just…nothing seemed to stop it. So, big, and gooey and…gross. I simply tossed my torch at it, and it bounced off the thing and landed on Harold’s body. Yes, Harold the wizard. Yes, the one guy with the long robe everyone used to guess was made of burlap. Well, we were right, it must have been made of burlap because my torch ignited it in a second.”

“Harold the flammable,” a patron laughed. “That guy was always setting things on fire. Always claiming they were accidents.”

“He did love his fireball spells; I am surprised his robe never lit up before. Honestly. How did he manage not setting himself ablaze, right Bertram?” The cleric tapped the other man at his table on the shoulder and then continued his story. “Well, there I was, just staring in shock. Harold’s body had created a wall of flames that was keeping the beast away from me. But not for long. It slid, or maybe slithered, to the right. I was about to run around it, to the other side, but the growing flames on Harold had suddenly spread to Timmus.”

“The rogue?”

“Yes, he had managed to sneak behind the thing and land a good backstab, but it grabbed him with one of its tentacles and slammed him hard to the ground. His head burst like a ripe melon. It was disgusting.”

“I liked Timmus!” Another patron yelled. “And he owed me 10 gold!”

“Well, I can give you a map to where he is located, and you can go collect the 10 gold if you dare, right Bertram?”

The cleric’s friend looked ill. Which only added spice to the intrigue of the story. Balbo was hooked.

“Okay, where was I?” The cleric said, “Yes, I was blocked by the fire that had spread onto Timmus. And that foul creature was on the other side. Poor Bertram here, bless his soul, had succumb to the beast first and was several feet behind it, near the entrance. I could see him there and realized, he was my last and only hope.”

“What did you do?” Balbo asked as he approached the table.

“I cast a resurrection spell!” the cleric cheered. “I raised mighty Bertram!

“I’m alive,” Bertram mumbled.

“Yes, my friend. Thanks to me.”

“You brought me back?”

“I did.”

“Evelyn, can I get some water for Bertram here, please?” Balbo asked as he waved to her.

Balbo leaned in toward Bertram, the man looked seriously unwell; covered in sweat with red circles around his eyes.

“What killed you, friend?”

“A cloud of something. That creature puffed out a thick green mist, it burned my lungs. I was gone so quickly. I—”

“Leave it to the fighter to rush right in and take the first shot. We all would have died in that cloud had Bertram not been so brave and shown us what we should all to be aware of.”

“What happened to your ranger?”

“April? She died trying to pull Betram from the cloud.”

“So, the cloud killed her too?”

“Well, not exactly,” the cleric explained. “A tentacle grabbed her too. Lifted her high off the ground and started squeezing her. I watched her struggle, even cast a healing spell on her, but it crushed her. Crush her like a—”

“Grape?” someone called out. “Ape the grape. Rest in peace.”

“Hush!”

“Show some respect.” Balbo raised his voice.

Evelyn approached with a pitcher of water and when she reached the table, Balbo watched her nose crinkle. He had seen that look on her face before and he knew exactly what was next.

“Oh,” she fanned her nose. “What stinks?”

Balbo hooked her arm after she set the pitcher down and escorted her from the table. “I think that smell is Betram.”

“He smells like a corpse.”

Balbo nodded and before he could say another word there was a loud gasp behind him. When he gazed back at the table where the cleric and resurrected fighter sat, he witnessed something truly disturbing. The fighter choked. He had turned purple, and clutched his throat. The look on his face was one of shock and horror. Balbo had seen it before, but this time it was different. He could tell the man knew he was dying but there was something more.

“Bertram! Bertram! What’s wrong?” the cleric shouted at his friend. “What ails you?”

Balbo rushed back to the table. “Can you heal him?”

“What?” the cleric looked confused by Balbo’s request.

“Heal him, man. Heal him!”

The cleric took a step back, brushed down the wrinkles in his robe and started to chant. But it was clear to Balbo, and everyone else in the tavern, that nothing was happening. Bertram’s face was distorted and a deep shade of purple; his eyes even bulged.

“Balbo!” Evelyn pointed.

When Bertram’s head struck the table before him, it did with a loud thud that echoed throughout the building. One of the barmaids shrieked and many of the patrons cried out.

“Bertram is dead,” the cleric said. “…a-again.”

Balbo grabbed the cleric by his white robes and shook him. “Why didn’t you heal him?”

“I tried. I-I can’t cast. My spells are…I can’t cast my spells,” he said with his arms up. “Nothing is working. Not even the smallest trick.”

“Wait! I can’t cast either,” another patron shouted.

“Me too!”

“What’s happening here?”

“Balbo?” Evelyn asked.

“It seems like something is dispelling magic in the Dragon’s Beard…” Balbo drew a deep breath and held it in his chest as he steadied himself. “And that worries me deeply.”

To Be Continued…

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From the Alchemist’s Workshop – Sunflower Oil

Ho there, friend!

Would you care for a carrot? I have a box full of fresh carrots from the garden behind the inn. No, friend, today is not a workshop on carrots or carrot seed oil. Tonight’s focus will be on the amazing all-natural benefits of sunflower oil. I pulled these carrots for umm…friends.

Anyway, I am glad you are here to attend today’s alchemist’s workshop. As I said, today we will be discussing sunflower oil. You know what a sunflower is, right? One of those giant flowers with head like a…well…like the sun! Ha!

Oh? You were here for the avocado oil workshop. Yes, Kristoff made amazing appetizers that day. No, he did not make ones for today’s workshop.

“Actually, Bablo, he did. Evelyn to the rescue!” She shouted as she approached. “I had Kristoff make some sunflower seed butter to go on this freshly baked bread.”

Good thinking, Evelyn!

“You know me,” Evelyn said with a wink. “I’m always thinking about how to make the bar more exciting.”

Yes, well, it is certainly never a dull moment with you here. Right, friend? Hmmm? What are you looking at? Evelyn or the appetizers? No, don’t answer.

“You don’t want our fiend here to say which he thinks is more—”

No, I do not, Evelyn. Now, back to work while I tell everyone here what makes sunflower oil so wonderful.

What is a Sunflower and What is Sunflower oil?

You have seen them; they grow tall and large, usually around ten feet tall. They look like a large glowing sun and can have a flower head the size of a dinner plate. They are magnificent and guess what, you may not know this, but sunflowers are characterized as a crop. Yes, they are typically grown for their edible seeds. That said, some sunflowers are grown to produce oils, others for seeds to use as bird food. But there are other uses too.

Sunflower oil is pressed from sunflower seeds and is most commonly used as a cooking oil. But hold on to your horse, friend, sunflower oil is also used in cosmetics acting as an outstanding moisturizer with its copious quantities of the magically positive vitamin E.

Three cheers for vitamin E!

Fun facts

This natural oil is basically flavorless.It is triglyceride.The largest amount of sunflower oil is created in Ukraine.What are the Benefits of Sunflower Oil?

When consuming sunflower oil, its main benefit comes from its low levels of saturated fats and elevated levels of one something we like: polyunsaturated fatty acids. Sweet, sweet omega-3s and omega 6s! Ha! Love them!  Sunflower oil also has monounsaturated fatty acids which can help reduce heart disease.

For cosmetics, sunflower oil provides excellent moisturization. In fact, it can help repair the skin. It also will not clog pores, which is an excellent factor to anything you put on your skin or hair. In fact, sunflower oil will actually help unclog those nasty pores, friend. The application of the oil will flush the dead skin cells. Remember what the bard said, “Mo clogging. Mo Problems.”

Let’s break down the benefits of sunflower oil, brave beard-growing adventurer!

Moisturizes. Moisturizes. Moisturizes.Protects with a natural barrier – it is like armor but less bulky!Unclogs pores.It is gentle and soothes your skin.Bonus antioxidants to raise your savings throws against aging!Rich in vitamins like E, A, D, and K.Goblins hate the smell of it. (OK, that one is a rumor, old Balbo started! Ha!)Tabletop Beard has you covered! We got you!

Tabletop Beard uses sunflower oil in our premium beard care products and if you have been following our blog, you know that all our ingredients are natural and safe. In fact, we load each product with the best ingredients, so our beard oils, balms, and butters reward our beard care adventurers with the best benefits. Yes, our lists of ingredients give your skin and hair multiple layers of protection and advantages. Think of it as doubling down, but more like quadrupling down on protection, and winning the battle!

Try our new Druid-themed beard butter and beard oil. Druid captures the essence of ancient forests and wild, untamed berries. Just remember, friend, wash your face and beard well. That is always the first step in beard care to healthy skin and hair.

Trivia time!

What is the tallest recorded sunflower? Take a guess or Google it. You may be surprised!

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Balbo and the Rare Hare

a Tabletop Beard story by Kevin Breaux

Balbo’s room was located at the far end of the third floor of the Dragon’s Beard Inn. He was down a quiet corner away from the rooms sold to travelers, only adjacent to a storage room and rooms inhabited by several of his barmaids. It allotted him the privacy he needed after long days of being entertaining, merry, and overly giving. Sometimes, Balbo simply needed a break.

This was one of those nights.

Balbo staggered into his room mere hours before daybreak. He had spent way too many hours drinking ale and listening to the tales of two dwarven fighters. Although their sagas were interesting, one seemingly led to another and another, and so on. In retrospect, Balbo was unsure if they ever finished a single story. Regardless of being a long night, it was a good one.

Balbo yawned and scratched his beard, not because it itched, mind you, but out of habit and because he enjoyed how soft it felt. Today, it smelled like smoked oud and steel, the favorite scent of his fighter friends.

He shut the heavy door behind him with his heel, then shuffled in darkness to his straw bed. When he reached it, he turned around and flopped backward with a loud humph.

“Boots,” he said out loud just to remind himself to take them off.

He sat up and groaned as he stretched his arms toward his feet. His eyes fluttered, and when they reopened his hands looked no closer to his feet as they were we he first reached out.

“Getting old, Balbo. Might be time for a change.”

RATTLE. RATTLE.

He heard a sound from the cage where he had housed two rabbits that had appeared in his bar the night of the druid celebration a week ago. Evelyn said a ranger had caught them and donated them for the party’s stew, but Balbo believed with all his heart that these rabbits were actually druids in their beast shapes.

He felt silly when it turned out he was wrong, but he was unable to bring himself to eat his new friends and decided to keep the rabbits as pets.

“You all hungry?” Balbo mumbled. “I have some more carrots for you next to your cage in a sack.”

Balbo stood and fumbled around in the dark but could not find the carrots. So, he backtracked to the door where he knew a small table sat with a candlestick and some flint and tinder.

It took him a moment, but he lit the candles, which illuminated the room ever so slightly. When he turned back to the rabbit cage, which was still draped in shadow, he swore he saw something large move.

“Huh…must be more tired than I thought,” he said with a chuckle.

“Morning, Balbo.”

“What?” He spun around to face the door, then gazed over at the bed. “Who is there?”

“Over here, Balbo.”

“Where?”

“In the cage.”

Balbo crept closer toward the cage and leaned the candlestick in to fill the dark space with soft orange light.

GASP.

He recoiled back and nearly tripped over his own feet. He could not believe his eyes, sitting bent over in the cage was an elven man, who held and gently stroked one of the rabbits.

“W-what are you doing in that cage? Where is my other rabbit?” Balbo asked.

“You put me in this cage, Balbo. You have my thanks for picking such a spacious one.”

“What are you talking about, friend?”

“You were right.”

Balbo inched several steps closer and took a good look at the man. He was wearing padded leather armor that was decorated with feathers and fur. It did not take Balbo long to draw the connection to the other elven druids he had seen in the past.

“Right about what?”

“I’m a druid. I was in one of my beast shapes. I’m one of the rabbits you were talking to all night.”

“Evelyn!” he shouted. “Ha! I knew it! Old Balbo might be crazy, but he ain’t mad!”

“Not mad at all. I was in the forest outside of town when I saw this girl and I transformed to…well…you know.” The druid raised up the other rabbit and stroked its ears.

Balbo smiled and winked. He understood. “And that is when the ranger caught you both.”

“Not long after.”

“Why didn’t you transform back?”

“I’m not entirely sure, but I think it has something to do with a spell or maybe someone has a trinket that dispels magic. Something was inhibiting my ability to return to shape until tonight,” the elf explained. “How long was I—”

“Eight days.”

“No wonder I feel so…”

“Hungry? Thirsty?”

“Stiff.”

“Ha!” Balbo stroked his beard. “I should probably let you out of that cage then, friend.”

“That would be nice. Thank you.”

Balbo unhooked the latch and opened the top of the cage. “Good thing I put you in my goat enclosure.”

Once the cage was open the druid stood up slowly, stretching his limbs as he moved. He rolled his neck, took a deep breath, and then hooted like an owl.

The druid placed the other rabbit down and then reached out to Balbo with both hands to shake his. “Blessings of the sun and moon to you, Balbo.”

Balbo smiled and then turned to the door. He could not wait to rub Evelyn’s nose in the truth.

“Evelyn!”

“Evelyn? Your friend that was going to cook us?”

“Yes. And I’m not sure I would call her a friend exactly.”

“Say no more,” the druid placed his palm on Balbo’s chest. “Remember, I was in this room for many nights. Many nights. Some of those nights you entertained company.”

Balbo felt a little embarrassed at first, and the longer he dwelled on it, the deeper the shame got.

“I might have to kill you,” Balbo said bluntly and then roared with laughter.

The druid appeared taken aback at first but joined him in laughter.

TAP. TAP.              

“Balbo, why are you screaming?” Evelyn called from the other side of the door as she knocked. “You can’t keep calling out to me every night. People will hear you.”

“Evelyn—”

“I’m coming in.”

“Please do.”

Evelyn entered the room with a bounce and her eyes grew wide with astonishment the moment she laid them on the druid.

“No.” She leaned her glowing candelabra toward the men and shook her head. “Is that—”

“Yes.”

“Your, teasing.”

“He is not.” The druid interrupted.

“Evelyn, I would like you to meet…” Balbo paused. “Ha! I don’t know your name, friend.”

“My name is Kreqe Kregrummen.”

Evelyn walked to the goat enclosure and looked inside. She then reached up and covered her mouth as she gasped. “You’ve been in here all week.”

“I have.”

“All day and all night,” Balbo added.

“Oh my.”

“Please, do not worry yourselves about the things I might have seen. I turned my back. Might I also remind you that I had Jewel to keep me company.”

“You named her Jewel?” Evelyn tilted her head in query as she asked.

“I did.”

Evelyn crossed the room to the men. “Nice to meet you, Krege. Sorry, I wanted to cook you.”

“And…” Balbo said with a smile.

“And what, boss?”

“And…” he repeated.

“I am sorry I did not believe you.” Evelyn huffed. “Happy?”

Balbo watched the sour look on Evelyn’s face grow worse. He presumed she would not be happy having to apologize, but he did not imagine she would look so pained. It took the fun out of it.

“What is wrong?”

Evelyn covered her nose. “Krege, you need a bath.”

“Oh. Ha. Yes,” Balbo chuckled. “I will have one of the girls draw one up for you right away.”

“No. No. No. If you both do not mind, I must get back to my responsibilities. Nature needs me.”

A thought crossed Balbo’s mind. “I have some beard oil you can use to freshen up. You may not have a beard, but you can still use it to mask the smells of that cage, ha! You’ll like it. It’s a scent for druids and smells like the forest and wild berries. Evelyn, prepare a pack for him with some water, bread, beard oil and umm….”

“Carrots?”

HA! HA! HA!

Balbo laughed deeply and his pure delight was infectious. Soon, Evelyn and Krege joined in the room filled from corner to corner with an echo of amusement.

To Be Continued...

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Bears, Bunnies, and Beards: A Barmaid’s Guide to Druid Shenanigans in RPGs

Greetings friend! How are you? I bet you weren’t expecting your favorite barmaid Evelyn here to introduce you to our celebration of druids. No? Well, here I am. Where’s Balbo? Oh, he’s right over there, at that corner table with the two white rabbits on it. He’s been over there half the morning talking to them. I swear, sometimes with Balbo…hmm.

You see, early this morning, one of our helpful ranger friends, whom we met months ago during our ranger celebration, knocked on the door with two live rabbits he caught in traps for us to make a stew tonight.

I sat those rabbits down on the table for just a brief moment, and that is when old Balbo lumbered in, half awake, and sat down and started talking to them. My guess is that he thinks they are both druids, guests for the party tonight.

Sometimes, I wonder about him. If he wasn’t so darn charming, I–

“Evelyn!”

“Yes, Balbo?”

“Our guests are hungry, could you fetch me a couple carrots and some water?”

“For the rabbits?”

“Yes, our guests here.”

You see, friend. You see what I am dealing with? Ha! I’ll get those carrots for him, and when the actual druids arrive, he will feel like a fool and Evelyn will have one more tale to tell our patrons when Balbo is grumpy about something stupid. Ha Ha! I do love stirring the pot.

Oh, ha! Yes! That rabbits are lucky to not be in a pot being stirred right now.

You are funny, friend…and handsome. What have you been doing with your beard; it looks so clean and shiny. I do like a shiny beard. What beard oil do you use? May I suggest the newest scent, one based on the druid class.

“Evelyn!”

“Yes, Balbo! Right away, Balbo!”

Druid Weapons and Armor

Druids are all about nature. And they are spellcasting shapeshifters. Do they really need a weapon when they can become one?

Just imagine a druid shifting into a giant mountain lion or a large bear—all teeth and claws. Who needs a weapon when they become a weapon?

Druids can carry weapons and they do wear armor. They just favor ones that were derived from nature. Therefore, they commonly carry simple weapons like wooden clubs, maces, javelins, quarterstaffs, spears, and slings. In some cases, druids may carry scimitars and daggers.

Their armor, as you might have guessed, is often handcrafted light or medium armor. They will wear leather, studded, padded, and hide armor but will not use armor made of metal.

The same goes with shields. But most druids will not carry a shield and keep that one hand open to cast spells.

Druid Races

Classically speaking, elves (wood elves) are a good pick and lend to the feeling of being a druid. In more contemporary rule sets, you have all sorts of other choices. Firbolg, owlin, and fairy make nice choices from the newer playable races. Some people like to pick dwarves and half-elves too.

Which is the best?

We like to say, just pick the race that speaks to you and offers a decent wisdom bonus. Veteran gamers might say otherwise and point you to a Firbolg for the bonus 2 points in wisdom and abilities that let you speak to beasts and plants. Firbolgs also have a very limited invisibility ability.  

Druid Backgrounds

Hermit and Acolyte are all good choices. However, Urban Bounty Hunter and Faction Agent are often listed as top picks, and with good reason.

Faction Agent has some nice additional skills to add to your character and Urban Bounty Hunter is highly customizable.

If you are looking at starting equipment, Bounty Hunter and Acolyte put some nice gold in your pocket and that is always helpful!

Do You Want to Play a Druid?

Who makes a good druid?

An individual who wants to play a fun spellcaster. Someone who is willing to take on the role of healer or support.

Gamers can choose how complex a druid character they want to build. They can choose a simple route and cast easy, low-level spells from afar and try and stay out of the rough and tumble combat…or they can get wild!

If you want to take on a complexly designed and managed character, that can be squishy at times, a druid might be right for you.

At level two, druids are introduced to their subclass and things get much more interesting. Yes, adventurer, you get your first beast shape!

Druid subclasses include the following:

Circle of Dreams: healing, support, and teleportation.Circle of Stars: the power of the constellations will change your capabilities.Circle of Spores: you gain the ability to take a mushroom or fungi form and to deal massive poison damage.Circle of Wildfire: this allows you to tame a wildfire spirit and have it act as an ally in combat.Circle of the Land: connects you more deeply to the natural world and ads extra spellcasting ability based on specific natural environments.Circle of the Moon: Master Wild Shape! Access to more powerful wild shapes perfect for bloody combat.Circle of the Shepherd: Useful abilities to buff and support their allies via a powerful summoner.

One thing is for certain: druids can be one of the most fun classes to play, especially when you put time into their development.

In games like World of Warcraft, druids can be healers, DPS, or tanks. Admit it, you played in more than a few raids with a good druid tank at the front of the battle. And if you played as a druid in WoW, I bet you enjoyed running the flag in cheetah form during PVP.

Versatile characters are the best, right?

Famous Druids

Who are the most famous druids? That’s probably not something you think of every day, but here are a few druids you may have heard of.

Allanon of the Shannara series by world-famous author Terry Brooks.Taliesin, a powerful druid in The Mists of Avalon by Marion Zimmer Bradley.Halsin, of Baldur’s Gate 3. You know, the big bear guy.Merrill of Dragon Age 2 and Morrigan of Dragon Age: Origins. You’ve probably seen a Morrigan cosplay or two. Merlin the magician from Arthurian legend/mythology. (and the basis of Taliesin above)

Can you name a few more? Hit us up with your picks.

A Giant Hyena, a Giant Spider, and a Giant Badger Walk into Balbo’s Bar

Ha!

Which one is the druid? Funny joke, right? On a serious note, we hope they all are, or there will be one hell of a mess to clean up.

Druids can be all sorts of things from the black cat purring in the corner, to five point deer crossing the road. So, be careful! No one wants to hit a druid with their wagon! That would be terrible!

Druids are a cool and different class that offer all sorts of fun options to role-play, and they make great additions to any team.

And guess what? They smell great! Well, at least the ones who use Tabletop Beard’s new Druid class themed beard care products. Those druids smell like the forest and wild berries!

We suggest you consider playing as a druid right now! Go! Play already!  

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