K.M. Alexander's Blog, page 60
November 18, 2015
Our Divine Discontent
“Any writer worth his salt writes to please himself… It’s a self-exploratory operation that is endless. An exorcism of not necessarily his demon, but of his divine discontent.”
Filed under: Quotes Tagged: demons, harper lee, self-exploration, writing
November 13, 2015
Friday Link Pack 11/13/2015
It’s Friday! That means it’s time for the Friday Link Pack, my weekly post covering topics such as writing, art, current events, and random weirdness. Some of these links I mentioned on Twitter, if you’re not already following me there, please do! Do you have a link I should feature in the upcoming link pack? Click here to email me and let me know! (Include a website so I can link to you as well.) Let’s get to it…
WRITING:
The New Intimacy Economy
Lately, Facebook, Uber, and many other startups try to infer a close intimacy with their users. Meanwhile, Hollywood stars also dabble in the ‘intimacy valuation market’ feigning at friendships. In this great write-up, Leigh Alexander explores the concept that in reality, every content creator is now a community manager.
World Fantasy Award Drops H.P. Lovecraft As Prize Image
As a guy who writes cosmic horror inspired by the creations of Lovecraft, my feed lit up this week when this news broke. Some people were upset; others were ecstatic. In the end the reality is: it’s not a big deal. This decision doesn’t effect Lovecraft’s popularity, influence, or legacy anymore or any less. If anything, as author Anne M. Pillsworth pointed out on Twitter, “I think no one author can comprehensively represent a genre, any genre, so I’m good.” I’m good, too.
Can You Promote A Book Without Making Yourself Miserable?
Eventually, everyone has to promote their book, that goes for both indie and traditionally published authors. The process is time-consuming, exhausting, and it can be miserable. To that end, Jane Friedman explores the question we’ve all been wondering.
Genre Snobbery Is A ‘Bizarre Act Of Self-Mutilation.’
In this interview with Wired, author David Mitchell discusses how books transcend genre despite people intentions to pigeon hole them, the influence of Ursula K. LeGuin on his writing, the creative boon of Dungeons and Dragons for writers, and the future.
Signed Copies Of Red Litten World Are Back!
Yep! If you’ve been waiting to get a signed paperback of Red Litten World, your wait is over. Signed copies are back in my store.
ART:
The Art Of Katharine Morling
Working in ceramics Morling’s work takes simple two dimension sketches and renders them in the third dimension. Excellent pieces, I especially love the matchbook.
The Art Of Oscar Gregeborn
The detailed digital art of Gregborn looks more like some intense and complex watercolor. His work explores strange landscapes that look as vibrant and detailed as it does alien.
Marc Da Cunha Lopes’ HPL Series
Influenced by Lovecraft, this beautiful series of photographs reflect his work, but with a twist. I love the last photo; it reminds me of a cephel from my series. (It’s also the image featured at the top of this post!)
RANDOM:
The Abandoned Buildings Of The Eastern Bloc
Explorations of abandoned and crumbling buildings of the former German Democratic Republic left after the Soviet’s reign. Haunting and strangely similar to the world of Fallout 4.
Living La Vida Loca In Japan
A cartoonist documents his friends trip to Japan. Wonderfully charming.
MIT’s Weird Snake Bot Could Be The Future Of UI
A transforming robot that can mimic the touch points of any interface and become whatever its user needs on a whim. Strange but… oddly cool?
Stefano Boeri’s “Vertical Forest” Nears Completion In Milan
There has been a lot of exploration in the vertical garden, serving various needs. Stefano Boeri’s take combines the mass of trees one would find in one hundred acres and lays them out vertically. Love seeing stuff like this, I hope this works out.
WEIRD WIKIPEDIA:
Loveland Frog
“The Loveland Frog (aka the Loveland Lizard) is a legendary humanoid frog described as standing roughly 4 feet (1.2 m) tall, allegedly spotted in Loveland, Ohio. A local man reported seeing three froglike men at the side of the road in 1955, and a police officer claimed to have seen a similar creature on a bridge in the city in 1972.“
H.P. LOVECRAFT STORY OF THE WEEK:
What The Moon Brings
In this very short story, (like… it’ll take you two minutes to read) the narrator takes a peculiar walk under an even peculiar moon.
GIF OF THE WEEK:
Filed under: Link Pack Tagged: Community, genre, h.p. lovecraft, intimacy, japan, katharine morling, marc da cunha lopes, oscar gregeborn, Promotion, red litten world, robots, snobbery, world fantasy award
November 9, 2015
Signed Copies of Red Litten World Are Back!
I ran out of books a while back, but all that was resolved this weekend. So, If you’ve been waiting to pick up a signed copy of Red Litten World from me, then your wait is over. Signed copies are back and once again available from my store. That means there are now four ways you can get a paperback copy:
Buy a signed copy directly from my store »
(Includes: Red Litten World and a Red Litten World Swag Pack.)
Buy a Roader Pack from my store »
(Includes: signed copies of all three books in The Bell Forging Cycle as well as swag packs and other goodies.)
Buy an unsigned copy from Amazon »
(Includes: an unsigned copy and no swag, but… hey, free shipping!)
Buy an unsigned copy from Barnes & Noble »
(Includes: an unsigned copy and no swag, but… hey, free shipping!)
Filed under: red litten world, The Bell Forging Cycle Tagged: books, my store, reading, Signed Copies, trade paperback
November 6, 2015
Friday Link Pack 11/06/2015
It’s Friday! That means it’s time for the Friday Link Pack, my weekly post covering topics such as writing, art, current events, and random weirdness. Some of these links I mentioned on Twitter, if you’re not already following me there, please do! Do you have a link I should feature in the upcoming link pack? Click here to email me and let me know! (Include a website so I can link to you as well.) Let’s get to it…
WRITING:
Dune: An Appreciation At 50 Years
This year, Frank Herbert‘s masterpiece, Dune, turned 50. Paste magazine put together this quick retrospective look at this seminal science fiction work and its lasting impact on the genre.
How Do You Cope With Bad Feedback On Your Work?
Not everyone is going to like what you write. Some people are going to loathe it. How do you deal with that sort of feedback? How do you overcome it? The ever amazing Warren Adler has some ideas.
Alan Moore Talks To John Higgs About The 20th Century
In this video John Higgs, author of the upcoming book, Stranger Than We Can Imagine: Making Sense of the Twentieth Century, discusses the previous century in weird-fiction great Alan Moore’s own work. Along the way, the two discuss the H.P. Lovecraft (heavily), as well as Jack the Ripper, the Red Scare, the fear inherent in the early 1900s, and a lot more.
ART:
Paul Klee’s Notebooks Are Online
The pages within the notebooks of the Swiss-German artist, Paul Klee remind me of a strange yet wonderful mathematical infused grimoire. It’s fascinating to see behind the curtain on one of the most influential figures in Bauhaus. [Thanks to Steve for sharing this.]
Portraits Of Auto Mechanics Are A Homage To Renaissance Paintings
A classical look at a hard working profession. When I first saw these photos I thought it was meant to be a joke—and perhaps it is on some level. But at the same time it raises the nobility of the blue-collar worker and places them at a place where they are rarely viewed. I love it.
Museum Dedicated to Over 100 Hyperrealistic Miniature Film Sets
In the center of Lyon, France, there is a museum that houses painstakingly recreated film sets in miniature. The level of detail is so incredible that you will have a hard time telling these miniature sets apart from their physically more imposing cousins.
RANDOM:
Ranking 40 Dystopias by Their Livability
Dystopia in fiction is here to stay, but until now, no one had compared each by their liability. Which is best? Which would be the most comfortable? Jm Vorel is on the case in this article for Paste magazine.
No, Spooning Isn’t Sexist. The Internet Is Just Broken.
The internet is driven by clicks vs. quality content. As a result, it’s broken often spreading vindictive stupidity vs. well thought out discussion. Do you know who is to blame? All of us.
The World’s Northernmost Big City—A Polluted Hell On Earth
Norilsk, Siberia one of the coldest places on earth, surrounded by nearly 100,000 hectares of burned out land also happens to be one of the most polluted. io9 shares some surreal photos from this surreal city.
WEIRD WIKIPEDIA:
Tempest Prognosticator
The tempest prognosticator, also known as the leech barometer, is a 19th-century invention by George Merryweather in which leeches are used in a barometer. The twelve leeches are kept in small bottles inside the device; when they become agitated by an approaching storm they attempt to climb out of the bottles and trigger a small hammer which strikes a bell. The likelihood of a storm is indicated by the number of times the bell is struck.
H.P. LOVECRAFT STORY OF THE WEEK:
The White Ship
A lighthouse keeper walks a bridge of moonbeams to go on an adventure with a robed man on a ship that appears only under a full moon.
GIF OF THE WEEK:
Filed under: Link Pack Tagged: alan moore, bauhaus, Dune, dystopia, Feedback, frank herbert, h.p. lovecraft, Internet, john higgs, miniature, norilsk, paul klee, siberia, tempest prognosticator, the white ship
October 31, 2015
Three Great Horror Reads For Halloween
Since today is Halloween (or High Hallow as it’s known in the Territories), I thought it’d be fun to share some of the more memorable horror novels that I have read over the last few years. Since I have been reading horror since I was a kid, I figured it’d be best to limit myself to any of the books I have read during my participation in the Goodreads Reading Challenge. You can see my list for 2013 and 2014 here on my blog, and you can view my current list for 2015 over on Goodreads. Let’s get to my picks!
Blood Meridian: or the Evening Redness in the West
by Cormac McCarthy
I’ve talked about Cormac McCarthy’s novel a few times in the past, and over the last few years it has easily become one of my favorite books, and ultimately my favorite horror novel of all time. This story tends to get classified as a western, but after spending some time with the kid, and the mysterious Judge Holden it becomes apparent that there is much more to this narrative than a brutal western. Following the trail of several scalp hunters along the Mexican border, this novel is a disturbing tale of violence, blood, and possibly the devil.
Something Wicked This Way Comes
by Ray Bradbury
While the trope of the Circus of Fear can be traced back to the 1919 German silent horror film The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, it’s safe to say it was Bradbury who made it popular with this novel. When Cooger & Dark’s Pandemonium Shadow Show has come to Greentown, Illinois, two young boys and best friends begin to explore its strange and ultimately evil attractions. Bradbury is amazing at capturing the life of the young boy, and the challenges of fatherhood. Easily one of the best gothic horror novels ever written, and a classic within the genre.
Chaplewood (Borden Dispatches #2)
by Cherie Priest
The second novel in Cherie Priest’s modern take on Lovecraftian mythos goes above and beyond even book one (which was one of my runners-up last year.) Following the adventures of the Lizzie Borden of legend, Chaplewood takes us from book one’s rain-soaked coast of New England to the heart of the sultry deep South. As a dark gospel is spread by a strange cult, and an ax murderer runs rampant, a detective, a young woman, and an elderly matron must face down a growing evil. Easily one of my most memorable reads this year.
So there are three of my favorite horror books from the last few years. If you’re looking for something to read on a cozy and dark autumn night, you’d be hard-pressed to find better. What are you favorite horror novels? Leave a comment below and let everyone know!
Have a safe and happy Halloween!
Filed under: Reading Tagged: blood meridian: or the evening redness in the west, borden dispatches, chaplewood, cherie priest, cormac mccarthy, halloween, Horror, ray bradbury, something wicked this way comes
October 30, 2015
Friday Link Pack – Halloween
It’s the day before Halloween! That means it’s time for the Friday Link Pack, Halloween Edition! My weekly spooooky post covering topics such as scary writing, terrifying art, current bone-chilling events, and random weirdness. Some of these links I mentioned on Twitter, if you’re not already following me there, please do! Do you have a link I should feature in the upcoming link pack? Click here to email me and let me know! (Include a website so I can link to you as well.) Let’s get to it…
WRITING:
H.P. Lovecraft Gives Five Tips For Writing A Horror Story
It’s always fun to look at “rules” writers share as advice for others. Grandpa Weird’s advice is pretty straightforward, and can be applied to any story, not just horror.
5 Simple Steps On Creating Suspense in Fiction
What is a good horror story without a bit of suspense? In this piece for Writers Digest, novelist Leigh Michaels goes into details about how you can up the intensity of your writing.
The 10 Best Horror Books You’ve Never Read
Another list of great horror reads that somehow forgot to include one of mine. That said, this list is pretty solid, and it features a lot of spooky reads assembled by horror author Nick Cutter.
6 Ways To Write Better Bad Guys
In this article for Writers Digest, author Laura DiSilverio offers up some advice on how to write interesting villains that leave your readers both engaged and stunned.
ART:
The Art Of Laurie Lee Brom
Laden with an old southern gothic feel that is thick with ghostly imagery, Laurie Lee Brom’s work is beautiful, but it also goes further, hinting at the darker side of new contemporary. Absolutely fantastic stuff.
The Art Of Jeffery Alan Love
Eschewing typical styles common in fantasy art, and instead pursuing a bold and graphical focused work laden with thick texture. Love his simple use of color and form. Jeffery Alan Love’s creations are both engaging and stunning. (His image Totentanz – The Dance of Death is the featured image this week.)
The Art Of Heather McLean
Running drips of color, dark figures in heavy shadows, and liquid bursts of black play throughout Heather Mclean’s work. There’s something dark here, something mysterious, and something engaging.
RANDOM:
Local 58
If there’s one link you check out this week, make it this. A creepy mood video from Chainsaw Suit Studios that tells a succinct story and very much needs to be watched. (Preferably in the dark.) Whatever you do, don’t look outside. [Thanks to Miguel for sharing this with me.]
Before Trees Overtook, Earth Was Covered By Giant Mushrooms
Recent fossil discoveries hint that giant mushrooms once rose from the land. So, maybe Super Mario Brothers was right, or The Elder Scrolls: Morrowind was, or whatever other giant-mushroom-fantasy-world of you choice.
Google’s Frightgeist
Do you want to be sure you have the most unique costume out there tomorrow night? Well, according to the Google Frightgeist you might want to skip dressing up as Harley Quinn (#1) and instead consider something like a banana (#148) or a loofah (#361).
The Mysterious Shamblers Of The Scablands
In my second entry for my Wild Territories series, I look at the shamblers. The strange yet frightening-looking creatures that roam the scablands of the Territories. What are they? What was their inspiration? Are they as docile as they seem?
WEIRD WIKIPEDIA:
Kuchisake-onna (Slit-Mouthed Woman)
Kuchisake-onna is a figure appearing in Japanese urban legends. She is a woman who was mutilated by her husband, and returns as a malicious spirit. When rumors of alleged sightings began spreading in 1979 around the Nagasaki Prefecture, it spread throughout Japan and caused panic in many towns. There are even reports of schools allowing children to go home only in groups escorted by teachers for safety, and of police increasing their patrols. Recent sightings include many reports in South Korea in the year 2004 about a woman wearing a red mask who was frequently seen chasing children, and, in October 2007, a coroner found some old records from the late 1970s about a woman who was chasing little children. She was then hit by a car, and died shortly after. Her mouth was ripped from ear to ear.
H.P. LOVECRAFT STORY OF THE WEEK:
The Horror in the Burying-Ground
Co-written with Hazel Heald, and told from the perspective of the various townsfolk of the abandoned and moldering town of Stillwater, the story revolves around a strange old man who haunts a graveyard.
GIF OF THE WEEK:
Happy Halloween!
Filed under: Link Pack Tagged: chainsaw suit studios, frightgeist, google, h.p. lovecraft, heather mclean, Horror, jeffery alan love, laurie lee brom, local 58, mushrooms, shamblers, suspense, the bell forging cycle, villains
October 26, 2015
The Mysterious Shamblers Of The Scablands
Welcome to Wild Territories, the series where I delve into the lore and inspiration behind small little details scattered throughout my Lovecraftian urban fantasy novels, The Bell Forging Cycle. These posts will be spoiler-free, but you’ll probably appreciate them more if you have the read books in the series. Now, with that out of the way, please join me as we explore part two of Wild Territories: The Mysterious Shamblers of the Scablands.
https://kmalexander.files.wordpress.com/2015/10/pbs-wild-america.mp3
They move in packs, making little noise and shuffling along in the high grass of the open plains. They are the shamblers, the bizarre humanoid animals that live in the backcountry of the Territories. But what are they? What was their inspiration and what is their connection to the Lovecraftian mythos? What could they mean for the future? Let’s answer all these questions and take a closer look at these mysterious creatures.
Shamblers make their first and most prominent appearance in Old Broken Road, but they do crop up once in my latest novel, Red Litten World. The first mention of these strange creatures comes from the perspective of the character in the Old Broken Road prologue:
“She expected to see a wild dog, or one of those shuffling shamblers who were fearful to look upon but as docile as one of her father’s sheep.”
Those of you with extensive knowledge of Lovecraftian lore know about shamblers, or dimensional shamblers as ol’ Howie calls them. They first appear in Lovecraft’s The Horror at the Museum and later show up in a Clark Ashton Smith tale, The Hunters from Beyond. But they’re not major players. Shamblers, like many creatures within first wave mythos, make only one appearance. Dimensional shamblers are aggressive and dangerous and powerful. They have a strange animal head that is said to be part ape and part canine, tiny yellow eyes, large fangs, and massive claws. In the mythos, they hop from dimension to dimension and kidnap people. It’s creepy stuff, and they’re clearly not as docile as sheep.
If you have sat in on any of my panels or talked to me at cons, I am pretty adamant that I am not writing mythos. I’m writing urban fantasy, heavily influenced by the mythos. Like Stephen King and Neil Gaiman, I am playing with the bones and erecting my own monsters. So how are my monsters different? What influenced my version of shamblers?
To start, let’s look at their appearance. Later in Old Broken Road, Wal goes into a lot more detail:
“Shamblers are a strange animal. They look like naked humanoid figures: neckless with malformed heads, sightless bulging eyes, and pallid gray skin. Solitary and slow, they were more nuisance than threat, occasionally stumbling through a laager or running into the side of a cargowain. They were usually herbivorous, wandering the high desert looking for scrub brush, but occasionally they would find a prairie bird or small mammal to munch on.”
Dimensional Shambler
by
Michael Bukowski
This description is the biggest reveal of shamblers to date and established differences right away. Gone are the fangs and claws and small yellow eyes. After Lovecraft, much of my inspiration came from two specific sources. The first is an illustrator. Michael Bukowski runs Yog-Blogsoth a Lovecraftian bestiary of sorts. I’m a big fan. His fantastic (and usually disturbing, consider yourself warned) illustrations are always my first destination whenever I am looking for inspiration in dreaming up monsters. (His take on the various aspects of Nyarlathotep are a favorite of mine.) There was something about his shambler (pictured left) that I loved, and something that inspired me further. The strange tilt of its head, the bizarre shape of its body. I could imagine it lurching, almost zombie-like, across the high deserts and channel scablands. While mine eventually looked different, I think when comparing Wal’s description to Michael’s illustration you can see the similarities.
The Rake is coming
– via Reddit user
jimjam1308
My second source of inspiration is The Rake a monster that comes from the depths of Creepypasta. A strange naked humanoid creature whose origins started from an unusual photo taken by a hunter’s game camera. In the original story The Rake looks fearsome, the light reflecting in its eyes, the same way light reflects in the eyes of game animals. That strange connection is what led me to toy with the idea of making my shamblers animal-esque humanoids. They might look disturbing, but something has changed. In the world of The Bell Forging Cycle, the monsters who destroyed Earth during the Aligning have disappeared but many, like the shamblers, were left behind. In this series, I am exploring is what has happened to them. Some, like the Cephel and Anur, have shifted from servitors species to become productive members of Territorial society. Others have faded into new legends, and some, like the shamblers, have become simple beast-like creatures.
The distinction is unique, and something I enjoy exploring. Other mentions of these rare and elusive animals are minor. In the first three books, they are another bizarre element in the background, a part of trail life. They serve the purpose to remind us that we aren’t in the world we know anymore, the Territories have been fundamentally changed. Earth is different.
When I set out to write this series I wanted the influence of Lovecraft on everything, and it’s there. It plays a part in everything from religions to major holidays, even slang. I also wanted to shift enough things to keep enthusiasts guessing. I think the shamblers are a great example of that. Where will they go and what part will these bizarre creatures play? Can they still travel between dimensions? Are they as docile as they seem? Only time will tell. For now, the mysterious shamblers shuffle along, wandering the roads between cities and reminding us that the Territories are truly wild.
Thanks for reading the second Wild Territories entry. The idea is to continue this series and reveal little more behind the scenes information about The Bell Forging Cycle. To do that, I need your help. Vote below and decided where we go next time we visit the Wild Territories:
Take Our Poll
Filed under: Wild Territories Tagged: creepypasta, dimensional shamblers, h.p. lovecraft, michael bukowski, old broken road, red litten world, shamblers, the bell forging cycle, the rake, yog-blogsoth
October 24, 2015
The Exquisite Horror
October 23, 2015
Friday Link Pack 10/23/2015
Friday is here! That means it’s time for the Friday Link Pack. My weekly post covering topics such as writing, art, current events, and random weirdness. Some of these links I mentioned on Twitter, if you’re not already following me there, please do! Do you have a link I should feature in the upcoming link pack? Click here to email me and let me know! (Include a website so I can link to you as well.) Let’s get to it…
WRITING:
Win A Copy Of Red Litten World
The Northwest Horror Podcast is giving away signed copies of my latest novel, Red Litten World. To enter just Tweet, Instagram, or Facebook them and let them know your favorite Lovecraft adaptation. That’s it! (You have until midnight, tonight.) Good luck!
Advice From The Creator Of Calvin And Hobbes
It’s no secret that Bill Watterson is incredible. This comic, based on a graduation speech Watterson gave at his alma mater, does a fantastic job in forcing us to reflect on what matters in our lives. [Thanks to Sky for sharing this with me.]
10 Scary Books That Will Seriously Keep You Up At Night
Huffington Post compiles a list of the scariest books and just in time for Halloween. For whatever reason, Old Broken Road isn’t on this list, but it should be. (In my humble opinion it’s probably the scariest of the series so far.)
Fear Never Leaves
If you missed yesterday’s post, I got all emo and reflected on the emotions that build up over the launch of a book, and talk about working through my fears as I continue to fight towards my successes.
ART:
Reimagined Disney Animals With Human Personalities
What if the talking animals from animated Disney films were reimagined and humanized? What would Simba look like? How about Baloo? Well, artist and illustrator Alaina Bastian has answered those questions and more in her series Humanized. There’s a lot of fun work here. [Thanks to Dave for sharing this with me.]
Mark Zug’s Art For The Dune Card Game
I’ve been on a Dune kick this year ever since I reread it this spring. This week I stumbled across these illustrations of characters for the Dune card game. (Which is sadly out of print.) Some amazing work here, but my favorite is easily the Jessica Atreides piece. (Which is also the image featured above.)
Nanotecture
There is some disturbing and otherworldly about this cotton installation from Jennifer Strunge and Jonathan Latiano. It’s like a bizarre cuddly monstrosity is pushing in from some other reality.
RANDOM:
Better Reasons To Boycott Star Wars
So, some internet trolls started the #BoycottStarWars hashtag for some stupid trolly reason, and it went viral, and the typical people freaked out. In response, the Washington Post wrote up this article to offer some funny (and not racist) reasons to boycott J.J. Abrams newest film.
Dropping Water Levels Reveal Hidden Church
It’s like something out of Lovecraft, Mexico’s record drought has revealed a creepy waterlogged church that dates back to the 1600s.
A Treasury of Rare And Weird Star Wars Posters From Around The World
A collection of amazing (and often strange) Star Wars movie posters from around the world. No idea what is happening in Russia. [Thanks to my buddy Bartek for sharing this.]
WEIRD WIKIPEDIA:
Smiley Face Murder Theory
The Smiley face murder theory (variations include Smiley face murders, Smiley face killings, Smiley face gang, and others) is a theory advanced by two retired New York City detectives, Kevin Gannon and Anthony Duarte, that a number of young men found dead in bodies of water across several Midwestern American states over the last decade did not accidentally drown, as concluded by law enforcement agencies, but were victims of a serial killer or killers. The term smiley face became connected to the alleged murders when it was made public that the police had discovered graffiti depicting a smiley face near locations where they think the killer dumped the bodies in at least a dozen of the cases. The response of law enforcement investigators and other experts to Gannon and Duarte’s theory has been largely skeptical.
H.P. LOVECRAFT STORY OF THE WEEK:
Herbert West—Reanimator
The tale of Professor West includes creepy zombies and the first mention of ol’ Miskatonic University. This story was also the basis for the 1985 cult classic, Re-Animator.
GIF OF THE WEEK:
Filed under: Link Pack Tagged: bill watterson, calvin and hobbes, disney, Dune, Fear, giveaway, h.p. lovecraft, jennifer strunge, jonathan latiano, mark zug, Mexico, northwest horror podcast, posters, scary books, star wars
October 22, 2015
Fear Never Leaves
Is there such a thing as post-publication depression? I mean we spend all this time working on a book losing our evenings, weekends, and holidays making sure it’s ready. Then the big day arrives, the launch happens! We’re giddy! We’re excited! The book is released! Then… silence. The book is out there. You see people buying it. You know it’s in the hands of readers. But you sit and wonder and wait and eventually fear starts creeping in.
Oddly, this is my third post on the subject of fear as it pertains to writing. (See: I’m Scared and Fear Is The Mind Killer for the others.) I say “oddly” because these are never the articles I set out to write, but somehow I still write them. Which shows how constant these emotions are in our lives. Over the last three years, with each successive launch I have taken the time to write about the tangle of emotions that swell around the launch of a book.
The greatest feeling in that knot is always the same; it’s fear. We’re afraid it’s not good enough. We’re afraid our books will be failures. We’re scared it’s full of mistakes. We worry that people will hate it. Those ideas can be debilitating. They gnaw at us, and if we let them they can devour us. But, here’s the kicker, I don’t think those feelings ever go away.
Worry comes with this job. Sure, in some magical land a writer writes a manuscript and everything is perfect, editing isn’t a bear, and reviewers laud them with praise, accolades, and candies. La de da. But that isn’t today, and it’s certainly not the world where we live. It can be tough out here. People can be mean. Some want to be mean. But, here we are. Three years ago, when I stared into that long tunnel and faced the launch of The Stars Were Right I was there. I was terrified. But I pressed on. A year later, when I set out to launch Old Broken Road, I still felt those pangs. Hell, here I am standing on the other side of Red Litten World‘s launch, and I still feel it. Those emotions are still there even three books and thousands of copies later.
“Perfect is the enemy of good.”
There is an ancient saying (Seriously, ancient, it’s attributed to Voltaire) that I like to quote, “Perfect is the enemy of good.” Now, I am not saying you shouldn’t try to achieve perfection. Quality matters. That’s a given. What I am saying is that so often we get so stuck in the chase of perfection that we never stop. We run and run and run afraid of failure. Projects never see release because they haven’t achieved an unreachable ideal we set up in our heads. Fear fuels it, and it’s empowered by those lingering “what if” questions. Questions that bog us down, snare us, and stop our momentum.
The biggest lie in life is the idea that failure itself is permanent. I’ve seen it crush writers, artists, designers, architects, and creatives of all types. I’ve seen it destroy dreams. But… it’s a lie. Failure is a state of being, and like every other state of being, you’ll realize that it’s temporary. Once you realize its temporal nature fear begins to take a back seat. The panic becomes a white noise. The post-publication depression that hangs over our head and sabotages us begins to fade. As that happens, you become powerful.
“You’ll have more failures than successes.”
Last week, Kari-Lise was watching The Trojan War, the latest in ESPN’s documentary series 30 for 30. (It’s a brilliant documentary series and I encourage more than just sports fans to watch it. A lot of great stories.) During the program, , the producer of The Graduate and American History X, had a great quote. It was something that has stuck with both Kari-Lise and me. I’m paraphrasing here, but it was something along the lines of: “you’ll have more failures than successes.”
Think about that for a moment, more failure than successes. That’s intense and yeah, it’s scary. But the trick, the thing a lot of people don’t understand, is you can’t fail unless you try, and you certainly cannot succeed until you’re willing to fail.
So, I’m scared. I feel the fear. I always do. But, now three books in, I’m realizing: that fear never leaves. It lingers, it picks, it torments. Somedays I give in, but more and more I find myself pushing past it. My reaction to it has changed. I’ve changed. The way I react is shifting. Emotionally I realize that fear is part of the process. Sure, I can still feel it moving beneath the surface. I know it wants to reach up, and (excuse the Lovecraftian imagery) grip and strangle me in its tentacles. But I push on. What else would I do? Give up? *scoffing noise* Not a chance. I want to write. I want to tell stories. I don’t ever intend on stopping.
So yeah, fear is out there. We all deal with it. But we can’t let fear stop us. Keep at it.
Now, go make great things.
Filed under: publishing, writing Tagged: failure, Fear, lawrence turman, perseverance, Self-Doubt, Success
