Tyler F.M. Edwards's Blog, page 65

Review: Mad Max: Fury Road

My past familiarity with the Mad Max franchise is what I will generously call minimal — a few minutes here or there while channel-surfing. Near as I can tell the movies are about a dark future where spikey shoulder pads are the height of fashion. Also there’s this guy named Max and apparently he’s rather upset about something.

But the new movie, Fury Road, has been getting tons of praise, and it’s been a while since I could just go to the theater on a whim, so I decided to give it a shot.

It was an okay way to waste an afternoon, but I’m not sure what all the fuss is about.

The strange and interesting thing about this movie is that, despite the fact his name is on it, Max plays a pretty small role. He’s basically a sidekick at best, and he doesn’t have much in the way of meaningful contribution to the plot.

The real star is a woman with the rather absurd name of Furiosa, played by Charlize Theron. Furiosa is the servant of a brutal warlord, but she betrays him to free his stable of concubines and lead them to safety. Max just sort of ends up along for the ride, and Furiosa is by far the more developed character, as well as the main driver of the plot.

I really like Tom Hardy, and I’m a little disappointed he didn’t get to show off his acting chops beyond a lot of monosyllabic responses and brooding stares, but overall I’m glad Furiosa was the focus. She proved by far the more compelling and likable character.

And there just isn’t much to say about the movie beyond that, I’m afraid. There’s little pretense at plot, and there’s no serious effort made to develop any characters other than Furiosa. Fury Road mostly boils down to a two hour chase sequence full of screaming shirtless men and explosions.

The action is well done, but these days viewers are spoiled, and I found Fury Road’s endless explosionfest failed to stand out compared to the other endless explosionfests of recent memory, bar a brief but spectacular sequence inside a sandstorm.

The bland scenery was a large contributor to this issue. I gather endless wastelands are sort of Mad Max’s thing, but when nearly every shot looks the same, it sucks a lot of the flavour out, especially with a movie whose appeal is mainly based on visuals.

So, yeah, it’s fun enough, but not especially memorable.

Overall rating: 6.5/10

Filed under: Reviews Tagged: Mad Max, movies, review, sci-fi

WoW Flying Rant #24601

I’ve come home for a week of rest before I resume my apartment search in Toronto. This will allow me to begin posting on my blog again, and I’m hoping to build up a stash of enough pre-written posts that my blog can continue even while I’m in Toronto.

And what better way to restart my blogging than a good old fashioned Warcraft rant?

What are we without the sky?

The lack of flight in Warlords of Draenor has been a point of hot contention in the World of Warcraft community for months now. Blizzard has long waffled on the subject, refusing to give a clear answer on when it will return.

Now, at last, we know:  It won’t. Ever.

Of course, there’s always the chance of them changing their minds, but as of right now, the plan is that flying mounts will never be enabled in Warlords of Draenor or any future expansion.

Needless to say I’m not happy. Flying was one of my favourite parts of WoW, one of the few things it still did better than anyone else, and removing it is yet another example of Blizzard trying to tell me what I think is fun.

But I’ve said all that before, and I don’t want to repeat myself too much. This time, I’d like to focus on how Blizzard has handled this whole debacle.

At this point it’s hard not to feel that Blizzard has been stringing us along. Going into WoD, the general impression was that flight’s removal was a temporary measure. They repeatedly said they would turn it back on in 6.1. True, it wasn’t a promise — it never is — but we were definitely left with the impression that’s how things would play out.

Then 6.1 rolled around with no flight, and they started to spin it as an open-ended experiment, and now they’ve finally come out and said flying is gone for good, proudly declaring their experiment a success.

I struggle to understand what the basis of this conclusion is. The feedback on flight’s removal has been universally and overwhelmingly negative in a way I have not seen in my entire WoW career. Anecdotally, nobody ever leaves their garrisons, and the only thing that would be trivialized by reimplementing flight is a few jumping puzzle Easter eggs with irrelevant rewards that anyone who cares about has already done, and flight’s removal has coincided with the largest subscriber loss by far in the game’s history.

So how, exactly, has it enriched the game?

It’s hard to escape the conclusion that the value of flight’s removal has nothing to do with gameplay and everything to do with making things easier on the devs by removing the need to design with the third dimension in mind. From there, one begins to wonder if there was ever a chance of flight returning, and all the talk of it was just an attempt to, again, string us along.

I realize that all sounds rather paranoid. It is rather paranoid. And there’s a pretty good chance I’m seeing ill intent where none exists. But if nothing else it’s a monumentally big PR blunder. They’ve played directly into the narrative of the most paranoid and angry forum-dwellers.

This brings us to the issue of store mounts. Blizzard is continuing to produce and sell flying mounts for real money. Yes, you can also use them as ground mounts, but this usually looks completely ridiculous — several don’t even have ground animations. I very much doubt anyone bought the Heart of the Aspects so it could shimmy along the ground like an inchworm.

Which brings us to the other important point: Blizzard has always made their flight capabilities a selling point and used flight in their advertisements. Some ads for the new Mystic Runesaber even showed it soaring majestically over Draenor — mere days before Ion Hazzikostas revealed the end of flight.

This is just sleazy. Again, maybe Blizzard didn’t intentionally mislead players, but that’s sure how it looks at face value, and the best case scenario is that this is case of gross incompetence from a PR perspective. It’s tone-deaf at best, flirting with illegality at worst.

Hell, even people who didn’t pay real money for their mounts have gotten a seriously raw deal. I get a little nauseous when I think of all the time and effort I poured into some of my rare mounts. I’ve done Iron Dwarf, Medium Rare three times. That’s cruel and unusual punishment. You could at least let me use the mount from it.

As I’ve said before, I don’t know how Blizzard can think they can make flying mounts THE prestige item of the game for nearly ten years, then render them useless and not have everyone lose their minds.

* * *

The really sad thing about all this is that, despite all my disappointment and resentment over Warlords of Draenor, I was planning to reactivate my subscription soon — likely as soon as this apartment searching madness is over. For all Blizzard has done wrong, I still love Azeroth as a setting, and I miss my characters.

But this “no flying ever” business has left me with such a sour taste in my mouth that… well, I always say I could never quit WoW for good, but this is as close as I’ve ever come.

I am strongly considering skipping Warlords of Draenor altogether, at the very least. I’ll miss the legendary chain — as far as I know, Blizzard is still going through with the boneheaded plan to make those temporary content — but I don’t really care about the story in WoD anyway. It’s an alternate universe; none of this is going to matter in the long run anyway, right?

I may not come back until they do an expansion that really grabs me from a lore-perspective — which pretty much means Azshara or bust — or they drop the subscription and go buy to play or free to play, which I still view as an inevitability, though admittedly it might still be aways off.

Even then, it might be hard. Blizzard has shown such utter contempt for its customers right now that it’s hard to ever trust them again. What’s the point of ever trying to get any in-game rewards if they might just be made irrelevant on a developer’s misguided whim?

In the meantime, I might scratch my itch by using the new veteran account status to fiddle around with some low level alts. I have this sudden urge to roll a Tauren for some reason…

Filed under: Games Tagged: epic nerd rant, fantasy, Warcraft, World of Warcraft

Superior Realities on Temporary Hiatus

As I write this, I am actually typing from my tablet in Toronto. I’m here looking for an apartment so I can at last escape the clutches of the country life.

Unfortunately, the search for an apartment is proving very strenuous, and that has left me with little time or energy to blog. As a result, Superior Realities is now on hiatus until further notice.

I don’t know how long this hiatus will last — hopefully not more than a couple weeks — but rest assured that I will resume posting at my usual schedule  as soon as life permits.

 

 

Filed under: Misc. Tagged: Off topic

Cheating on WoW: Final Fantasy XIV: A Realm Reborn

Final Fantasy XIV has gotten something most MMOs never get: a second chance. When it launched, it was one of the great trainwrecks of MMO history, universally viewed as virtually unplayable.

But the developers went back to the drawing board, rebuilt the game from the ground up, and now, against all odds, FFXIV is a well-regarded and successful game, even managing to make a mandatory subscription work in a market where that is almost unheard of.

I decided it was time to give the game’s free trial a whirl to see how this rebuilt MMO shapes up.

A poor first impression:

Final Fantasy XIV doesn’t exactly hit the ground running. After a lengthy character creation process, including several options that seem relevant only from a role-playing perspective (which I like but which is not for everyone), I was thrown into a seemingly endless string of cutscenes.

Now, I’m a big story fan, but these cutscenes were for the most part not even particularly interesting. Many lacked voice-overs, which seems a tad archaic in this day and age.

The most frustrating part came when the wagon my character was traveling on was ambushed by inhuman raiders. I thought, “Oh, good, I get to fight them off and be the hero!”

But against all tenets of good storytelling and video game logic, the cart simply rolled on, leaving the fighting to some local guards. The tedium continued.

Once I finally got control of my character, I then moved on to a seemingly endless spree of quests involving talking to various NPCs, ferrying messages, and doing other menial and irrelevant tasks.

During this time, I also noticed some odd and irritating quirks of FFXIV. For example, unlike every other MMO I’ve ever played, giving items to an NPC involves manually trading them rather than having them automatically taken from your inventory. The world is also heavily instanced, and unlike Neverwinter or other instance-heavy games, I see no compelling gameplay reason not to have an open world.

I’m not sure why this is, but FFXIV also had far more gold spam than any MMO I’ve ever seen. Every five minutes I’d get a whisper from “dfhfk gjgrnwnd” about cheap gil, and it just never ended.

The story also failed to impress out of the gate. It breaks the age-old writing law of “show, don’t tell.” NPCs constantly talk about how the world is recovering from a catastrophe, but everything appears peaceful, happy, and prosperous, and there’s no real sense of danger to the world.

On the plus side, it doesn’t seem to be reliant on knowledge of past Final Fantasy titles. I didn’t feel at all lost or like I was missing anything important by being a Final Fantasy virgin.

It was well over an hour into my excursion into FFXIV that I finally embarked on a quest involving something I would classify as gameplay: I was tasked with killing squirrels.

Yes, seriously. Squirrels. Not even rats.

At this point, I began to wonder if this was really a game or just some incredibly elaborate, Joaqin Phoenix-esque parody of MMO tropes.

Mercifully, things did improve from there.

Final features:

Once I actually got into the meat of the game, and no longer had to murder squirrels and other small animals, my experience with FFXIV improved significantly.

At first, mostly all you’ll be doing in FFXIV is quests. These are very much in the standard “kill this/collect that” mould we’re all familiar with, but they flow well and don’t feel especially grindy or inconvenient.

There are also occasional dynamic events — bearing the awkward and seemingly random acronym of “FATEs”. These are pretty simple, but they add a nice amount of variety. On the downside, they don’t seem to be readily soloable, so they might become something of a burden once lower level zones are less populated.

Going in, my big concern about this game was that it had a 2.5 second global cooldown, as opposed to the 1.5 or one second global cooldowns used by most other MMOs. As a fan of fast combat, that sounded awful to me.

In the end, though, it didn’t feel that different. It is a bit slower, but the gorgeous skill animations help stop things from being too boring, and since some enemies have powerful telegraph skills similar to what you’d see in WildStar or The Secret World, there’s more to combat than just mindlessly spamming skills.

The only problem crops up with spell caster classes. As with many other MMOs, their casting is interrupted by movement, and that combined with a 2.5 global cooldown and fairly mobile combat makes for an absolutely miserable experience. Thankfully, melee classes and archers can move and fight.

As you level, FFXIV slowly opens up and reveals itself as an incredibly feature-rich game.

Around level ten, you’ll get access to guildleves, which are akin to daily quests with a few minor twists. In terms of gameplay, they play out a bit more like the FATEs than standard quests, and a nice quality of life perk is that they teleport you back to the quest-giver when you’re done.

Related to these are guildhests, which are short instanced challenges reminiscent of World of Warcraft’s scenarios. They’re a good way to learn basic grouping mechanics.

Around this time, I also got a quest to be introduced to the game’s player housing. This was one time where the game swung back into the realm of frustration, because it wasn’t until the very end of the quest I learned housing is only for max level characters — and only very wealthy ones, from the look of it. I don’t understand why the developers wasted my time by telling me about a feature I wouldn’t be able to use for forty levels.

Of course, FFXIV also offers a selection of dungeons. The ones I played were all fairly high quality, if a bit lacking on story and heavy on trash for my taste.

FFXIV offers an excellent automatic grouping tool — something far too many MMOs are still neglecting — for dungeons, guildhests, and other group content. From the look of it, it can even be used to do raids, which is fantastic.

There are some good social tools to help players work together, too. The game has an auto-translate dictionary full of commonly used terms that allows you to more easily communicate with players who don’t speak your language, and there’s a player commendation system where you can commend people you’ve been grouped with for being especially helpful. With enough commendations, a player can earn some nice rewards.

Why doesn’t every MMO have something like this?

There’s even more stuff later on that wasn’t included with the trial. Players can raise large birds called chocobos as combat companions, and there’s a retainer system that allows you to send NPC minions on mission, which sounds reminiscent of similar systems in Neverwinter and World of Warcraft.

FFXIV is also an incredibly beautiful game, with vibrant and detailed graphics and breathtaking environments. What most impressed me was the weather effects. Some MMOs might occasionally throw in some rain, but FFXIV offers a full battery of weather effects: fog, overcast, clear skies, rain… Coupled with the day-night cycle, it makes for a very vibrant world that is always offering new visual thrills.

The only slight downsides from a visual perspective are that certain creatures and characters have a very cartoonish anime-style appearance, which contrasts jarringly with the game’s otherwise realistic style, and it does have a fairly bad case of “female armor.”

Class warfare:

The one other noteworthy thing about Final Fantasy XIV is that it allows player to multi-class infinitely. In theory, you can learn every single class on one character.

There are incentives for doing so, too. Certain skills can transfer between classes. For example, my archer gained an extra DoT, a defensive skill, and a heal by spending a few levels each as a marauder, a lancer, and a conjurer.

The downside to this is that taking up a new class essentially involves starting over at level one. You do get a sizable boost to experience on lower level classes, but it’s definitely not trivial to develop secondary classes.

It’s still better than not being able to learn other classes at all, but I definitely prefer the systems for changing ability sets in Rift and The Secret World.

The classes also don’t seem to have a lot of mechanical variety. They all felt more or less the same to me — just with different animations.

An odd quirk is that crafting and gathering skills also count as full classes, complete with their own gear. I’m not sure what the point of this is — seems a bit unwieldy to me.

Is it worth it?

Tedious opening aside, Final Fantasy XIV is a very solid MMO. It has no shortage of options, and most of its flaws are minor.

Despite that, though, I have trouble recommending it for one simple reason: If you take away the Final Fantasy name, there’s nothing to distinguish this from Rift, Aion, World of Warcraft, or countless other similar games. There’s little FFXIV does poorly, but there’s equally little it does exceptionally, and you can get an experience of equal or greater quality from many other titles — most of which are free to play.

If you’re already a Final Fantasy fan, you should definitely play it. Otherwise, it’s just another entry in a crowded marketplace.

Filed under: Games Tagged: fantasy, Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy XIV

Rage of the Old Gods, Chapter Sixteen: The Ziggurat

We’ve come to chapter sixteen of Rage of the Old Gods, the first book of my epic science fantasy trilogy the World Spectrum. In the coming weeks, I will be posting the entire book for free on this blog. If you’re just joining us, you can get caught up with the previous chapters now.

The time to run and hide is over. At long last, Leha and the champions of humanity have taken the fight to their enemy. The battle for Tallatzan Ziggurat is joined.

———————

Chapter sixteen: The Ziggurat

For a moment, things were quiet.

Leha and her squad emerged from the disorientation of the journey at the summit of the Automaton watchtower. Ahead, standing with its back to them, was the Wizard-Automaton lookout. She had a moment to register soot-stained skies above, and the fact that it was much hotter here than it had been beyond the mountains, and then the Wizard-Automaton turned to face them.

She called forth the powers of the other worlds, speeding her people and slowing the machine, doing the same for the other groups that even now flashed into being all across the machine city.

The Automaton raised its fists, summoning its magic. Half of Leha’s squad stayed behind and let loose with crossbow bolts and burning globes of magic. Leha led the other half forward, and they drew swords, axes, and narviks, the edges of their weapons blazing. She reached out to Drogin via the mental link, and her blade shot from the metal band on her arm, its heat rippling across the skin of her hand. She grinned.

She and her people reached the feet of the Wizard-Automaton and set to work on its legs, slashing and hacking and cutting. Leha jammed her blade into the gap between two large plates of lead and cut upward. The metal burned and gave off acrid smoke as she carved a hole equal to herself in height. She withdrew her blade, sending it back into its sheath, adapted her fingers to cope with extreme heat, and inserted them in the gap. She grunted, the metal groaned, and the hole widened enough for her to put her arm through it. Her blade reemerged, hissing like a serpent, and she struck at the supports within the Wizard-Automaton’s leg.

In seconds, the machine’s lower legs had been reduced to little more than shredded slag. They began to collapse.

Back! she ordered over the link.

The human fighters scurried back from the teetering machine.

Leha did an about-face and fixed her gaze on the Automaton. She sent a request to the wizards: shove it over the edge.

One of the Clanspeople raised their staff, and a disc of energy slammed into the machine’s chest. The magic shattered on the lead plating, but the force of its impact sent the Wizard-Automaton toppling, and it fell over the southern edge of the tower. Leha allowed it to return to Barria’s energy level, and she heard it tear itself apart as it smashed against the side of the tower during its descent.

At her command, Drogin sent her blade back into its housing, and she led her squad to the southern edge of the watchtower. From here, she could see the entire ziggurat. She took a moment to survey their surroundings.

The first thing to strike her was the sheer scale of it. It was easily equal to most human cities in size. The top of the watchtower could have held at least half a dozen buildings the size of her shop in Three Gates, and it took up only a small part of the city. The tower had the shape of a narrow, flat-topped pyramid, and it was dizzyingly tall. A long, gentle ramp connected it to the vast mezzanine area below.

The ziggurat was built of a brownish substance that bore resemblances to both stone and packed earth. The air smelled of smoke and chemicals, and hazy clouds obscured the sun.

To the west, several gargantuan machines sprawled over the lumps and rough edges of the unfinished platform. Their bulging, incoherent shapes seemed almost organic, and their bizarre limbs moved slowly across the surface of the ziggurat; she assumed they were building the ziggurat up somehow. Other large machines dug earth out of pits to the north and funneled it to the construction machines via huge conveyor belts.

The land all around the Automaton city had been torn up and scorched until little or no plant life remained. Out in the barren fields, Leha caught sight of a number of large, slow-moving shapes. She took those to be resource gatherers.

All across the surfaces of the ziggurat, chaos reigned. The booming steps of running Automatons, the shouts of human fighters, and the crackle of magic echoed upward. The human and ice creature fighters had taken the Automatons by surprise, and the machines scurried about in confusion, falling to the assaults of the humans and their allies. Leha didn’t know if machines could feel fear, but they were pulling off a good imitation of it.

She smiled fiercely.

She led her squad down the ramp at a jog. A Wizard-Automaton hurled a bolt of energy at them as they went, but the Clan wizards deflected it, and a group of humans and ice creatures on the platform engaged the Automaton, preventing it from making a second attack.

Once past the halfway point of the ramp, Leha ordered every available wizard in her force to strike at the barrier machine inside the tower. If things turned bad, they would need to have a means of retreat.

Bolts, discs, globes, and spears of green-white energy arced upward and crashed into the crown of the tower, sending chunks of burning debris to rain down on those below. Leha did her best to control the speed of each chunk so that they would strike the machines but not her people.

The cacophony of light and sound continued to break down the watchtower until pieces of melted metal, the remnants of the barrier machine, joined the hail of broken boulders.

Her squad reached the bottom of the ramp. A pair of machine-built Wizard-Automatons charged them, shaking the floor of the mezzanine with their strides, and lashed out with their magic. Leha brought them down to Sy’om’s energy level, weakening their magic and slowing their advance. The Clan wizards deflected the magical assaults.

Leha screwed up her legs and leapt forward. The wind rushing over her leather-armored body, she somersaulting through the air and landed on the chest of the right-hand machine. She dug her claws in and climbed to the top of its neck, where, with a thought, she activated her blade. She cut along the edges of the machine’s chin, leaving only a thin strip of unburned metal to hold it in place. Then, she shoved the heat-acclimatized fingers of her left hand into the gap, yanked the panel off and threw it to the ground, and stabbed her blade up and into the latticework of its mind.

Leha jumped, carried high into the air by Tyzuan energy, as she brought the Automaton back to Barrian energy level. It toppled to the floor of the ziggurat with a great crash.

The other Wizard-Automaton and her squad were still locked in combat. The Clan wizards had managed to hold off the machine’s magic, but they hadn’t made any headway. A few of the other soldiers had done some damage, but as Leha descended, she felt three of her people die in a blaze of the Automaton’s magic. Their losses opened up yawning gaps in the mental link, and she gasped. She barely regained her composure in time to summon Sy’om’s energy and slow her descent.

She landed on the back of the second machine, at the base of its neck. Using her enhanced balance and reflexes to perch on two large back plates, she tore into its neck plating with her blade and her claws, ripping chunks free until a large hole had opened up. She coughed at the smoke created by her attacks.

The machine’s neck collapsed, and the head toppled backward. Leha did a back flip and glided to a location several feet from the machine. She returned its energy to normal, and the head clanged against whatever material the ziggurat had been built of. The body followed a moment later.

Leha landed neatly and waited for her squad mates to catch up. Ash and dust from the ruined watchtower stained the sky, and dozens of other columns of smoke rose from all across Tallatzan Ziggurat. Flashes of magic illuminated the blanket of soot from below, providing a surreal backdrop for the battle.

As her squad approached, Leha searched surrounding chaos with her eyes, looking for their next target.

* * *

Natoma had said to start moving as soon as they arrived. So Yarnig did.

The moment they emerged from the space between worlds, he leapt forward, dropped to the ground, and rolled. He came to a stop beside a low rise of something brown and stone-like, and he activated his sword’s magic.

A variety of stationary machines, people, dust clouds, and rises like the one that sheltered him obscured his view, but he heard the sounds of battle all around him: screaming humans, burning magic, booming mechanical footsteps. Natoma, wearing her shining plate armor; Erik, bearing the lead shield of a battle wizard; and a number of others from their squad joined him. Natoma peeked over the little rise, and Yarnig followed suit.

Several small machines, mostly cranes and manipulator arms, dotted the rise. These were what Automaton technicians referred to as “dumb” machines – a term for any machine or device that lacked an artificial mind.

The rise turned twice to form three sides of a rectangle. A pit lay in the middle of it, and an Automaton lay within that. It had no hands, its chest lacked several plates of lead, and one of its legs had been partially disassembled. It was undergoing a refit.

Three smaller Automatons clustered around it. Once, when he had been a boy, his parents had taken him to the seaside so he could play on the beach. He had seen a small crab, and spent the better part of an hour studying it. It had fascinated him with its strangeness, its armored body, and its many limbs. These machines reminded him of it.

They were about his size, and their heads and chests were vaguely humanoid, but any resemblance to a person ended there. They had four legs ending in things that were neither feet nor claws; the last two legs arced up and backward before curving back the ground. They had three limbs protruding from their torso, and each limb terminated in a knot of manipulators, grippers, and tools both mechanical and magical. They had minimal lead plating.

From their design and positioning, Yarnig assumed that they had been performing the refit of the larger machine. These, then, were the new maintenance machines, the new workers. Humanity’s replacement.

Natoma vaulted over the rise and into the pit, her movements almost unnaturally graceful, and the other squad members followed. Yarnig struggled to pull himself onto the rise and turn himself to slide down the other side. He cursed his soft, highborn body.

He reached the floor of the pit, his heart pounding and his breathing hard. Some of the squad stayed at the top on Natoma’s orders, but the others attacked. One Worker-Automaton fell within seconds, and the others struggled to escape, their movements jerky and slow. The larger machine tried to lever itself up, but soldiers had already begun to tear at its exposed arm and leg cavities.

Yarnig leapt onto its chest and swung at the section not protected by lead. He tore deep gouges in the metal, watching it spark and burn.

Natoma sent him a gentle reminder, an image of a square hole in the machine’s chest. Yarnig swore under his breath. Stupid, he thought. He felt his cheeks warm. He took his blade and carved a wide hole in the Automaton’s chest, abandoning the random slashes he had used before.

The plate he had removed clattered into the now-open chest, and he leapt into the hole. He felt the heat of the scorched metal through his boots, but the air inside the machine was unnaturally cold. Crouching low, he searched the interior and found the silver wheel that gave the Automaton its power. He cut through its moorings. The machine ceased its thrashing.

He pulled himself out onto its chest. While he had been inside, the two remaining Worker-Automatons had been destroyed.

Guiding them via the mental link, Natoma led them up a ramp and out of the pit. Here, on the floor of the ziggurat, machines – intelligent and dumb, mobile and rooted – dotted the artificial landscape. Yarnig saw, through his eyes and the eyes of those with him, a number of similar repair/refit pits, a few metal frameworks designed to hold up an Automaton so the maintenance machines could work on its back, and a few things he couldn’t identify.

A Tor-built Automaton levered itself off of one of the holding frames and charged his squad. It lacked several lead plates, but it was otherwise intact. Natoma’s squad turned to face it. Yarnig raised his blade and tried to remember Natoma’s advice.

Halfway to its target, the machine slowed to a speed not naturally found on Barria. Yarnig’s shoulders relaxed slightly. It always impressed him that Leha could do that from the other side of a battlefield.

A booming spear of magic from Erik tore a hole in the Automaton’s chest. The machine fell backwards. Before it could reach the ground in its slowed state, a gray and white-furred ice creature wizard came to the fore of the ranks, raised its wand, and launched a small globe of magic into the hole created by Erik’s spell. The magic illuminated the Automaton’s chest from the inside for a moment. The light went out of the machine’s eyes, and it toppled.

Bright lights flared above the ziggurat to the west. A string of magical attacks pounded at the watchtower at the heart of the machine city, tearing it down in layers. The thunder of its destruction could be heard even from Yarnig’s position. The wizards in his own squad added their own strikes to the assault, until the tower had been reduced to a stub. The barrage ceased; the air had gone cool from the drawing of power.

Natoma led them forward, deeper into the ziggurat. As they went, they struck at machinery, supplies, and equipment with their swords, axes, and narviks. They would not leave anything behind for the Automatons to use. Yarnig’s blood pounded in his ears, and he struck savagely, tearing through anything in his way. His muscles sang with fear and exhilaration.

They came to a wide, open patch dotted with slanting passageways leading under the floor of the ziggurat. Yarnig saw a Worker-Automaton poke its head out from one of the holes. The passages led to housing areas for the Worker-Automatons, he guessed. According to the histories, humanity had lived their lives in similar tunnels before the Liberation.

Many of the soldiers, Yarnig included, made to invade the tunnels, but Natoma held up her hand. Wait, she sent.

Yarnig stepped back and awaited further instructions from his mentor and commander.

A sizzling bolt of magic leapt from a bank of smoke to the squad’s right, the direction Yarnig faced, and tore through the human soldiers, killing several instantly. Pain and fear lanced through Yarnig’s head, and his vision blurred momentarily. He struggled to keep to his feet.

As if on cue, dozens of Worker-Automatons poured from the tunnels and charged the squad with as much speed as their shambling gait would allow.

Erik and the other wizards leapt into action, blocking new attacks by the Wizard-Automaton behind the smoke and attempting to strike back. The other soldiers shouted and screamed as the workers tore into them, and even the mental link and Natoma’s eternal calm could not keep them fully organized.

Yarnig swung his sword blindly, cleaving through the mechanical limbs that sought to beat and tear at his body. He picked up several minor wounds from the arms and tools of the Worker-Automatons, though he forgot what had specifically caused each within moments.

The battle between the wizards and the Wizard-Automaton raged on, their spells thundering across the field of battle. The machine stayed within the concealing bands of smoke that covered much of this section of the ziggurat, and the humans and ice creature had trouble targeting it.

A spell from Erik and bolt from the Automaton met halfway, and both exploded into a dozen jagged shards of energy that tore through everything in their path. One impacted the center of the human troops, blowing a hole in their ranks and leaving more disconcerting gaps in the mental link.

Distracted, Yarnig dropped his guard and nearly had his head caved in by a hammer-like attachment on a Worker-Automaton’s arm.

He dodged and resumed a defensive stance, but he remained distracted. He saw, via the link, that a half dozen machines had charged through the gap in the squad. They attacked Natoma and her guards with single-minded ferocity, their strength and determination making up for their weak armor and clumsy movements.

A Worker-Automaton slammed Natoma in the chest, and she went down. Yarnig’s heart leapt into his throat, and his mind leapt through the link, joining with hers so fully that he saw the world through her eyes.

Normally, he enjoyed the opportunity to touch her mind; she had a way of living in the present that granted great peace and clarity. But now, it was a nightmare. Time seemed to slow down as the Worker-Automaton raised one of its arms, swiveled a nub of silver to the bottom surface, and activated a small but bright flame of magic, the kind used to cut metal.

Yarnig watched helplessly as the machine struck downward. Natoma rolled, but she was not fast enough to avoid the cutting flame. It struck her right side, tore through her breastplate, and Yarnig felt a blinding pain tear through her abdomen.

His stomach churned.

A moment later, a narvik punched through the machine’s eye and shattered its mind, but the damage had been done.

Returning to his own mind, Yarnig forgot the machine before him and bolted towards Natoma’s position. He shoved everyone and everything out of his path, pumping his legs until they burned. He pushed his way through two Eastenholders and reached his commander’s side.

Natoma lay on the ground behind a thin wall created by a pack of Clansmen fighting the Worker-Automatons. A deep gash had been cut in her armor, and underneath, a broad swathe of skin and flesh had been charred black and dark red. Her face was sweaty and slick, and her expression was pained.

Yarnig stared at her a moment, his mouthing hanging open. Ever since he had met her, she had done every task she had set her mind to, be it leading troops into battle or eating a meal, with almost superhuman grace and confidence. She had seemed somehow more than human. To see her now, on her back, a grotesque chunk burnt from her abdomen, seemed impossibly wrong.

Yarnig’s fists tightened. “Healer! We need a healer here. Now!” he screamed, forgetting the link.

She looked at him. For the first time, he saw fear in her tea-colored eyes. “It’s bad,” she said, her voice surprisingly steady under the circumstances.

A series of quick explosions shook the floor of the ziggurat, and the wizards ceased their exchanges with the Wizard-Automaton. Having destroyed the last of the Worker-Automatons a few moments earlier, the fighters clustered around their fallen leader, a few staying on the outside of the squad to keep watch.

A Tor soldier emerged from the press and knelt next to Natoma. He placed his crossbow to one side and began examining her wound. A healer’s pouch hung at his belt.

Yarnig sensed the healer’s distress as he looked over the burn. She likely wouldn’t survive, the healer, Darsen, thought. His hands flying, he pulled several jars from his pouch and began to apply ointments and creams to the wound. Natoma’s brow furrowed, and she closed her eyes against the pain.

Yarnig felt Darsen’s voice in his mind. Get her mind on something else.

Yarnig dropped his sword and took one of her metal-plated handos in his. He strengthened his connection to her; he felt the jagged pain that ripped through Natoma’s body every time Darsen touched her. It’s all right. I’m here, he sent. He pulled a memory from his mind, and shared it with Natoma.

They were in the forest near his family’s country home, hunting with Yarnig’s father. Yarnig was fifteen, and his father had abdicated the throne to Lorganna Tor Vargis a few months ago. This was one of the first times he been able to hunt with his father without more than a dozen guards accompanying them. Taldin and one other tailed them by a few dozen feet, but their presence was hardly noticeable.

The scent of pine and spruce filled the air, and a balmy summer breeze wafted through the evergreen branches that hung overhead. Golden sunlight pierced the canopy in broad bands and illuminated patches of bright undergrowth and wildflowers.

Here, the pain seemed more distant, less overwhelming.

It’s beautiful, Natoma thought.

Yarnig’s father stopped, put his hands on his hips, and turned to face Yarnig. “I’ve lost the trail,” he declared. He didn’t seem in the least bothered by the fact. He was about the same height as Yarnig, but his shoulders were broader. His hair and beard were gray, and his face was lined. His eyes were the same sapphire as Yarnig’s.

His father planted himself on a fallen log, drew two flasks from his jacket, and tossed one to Yarnig. Yarnig sat on a stone and caught the flask. He unscrewed the lid and took a long draught from it. The water within had been sweetened with honey and rosewater.

In the memory, Yarnig leaned back and closed his eyes, enjoying the weather and the company of his father. On the floor of the ziggurat, he sensed Natoma relax.

A hand on his shoulder pulled him, and Natoma, out of the memory. Darsen’s lean face hovered a few inches from Yarnig’s. “I’m finished.” The healer gestured to Natoma. Her wound had been bandaged and poulticed.

Darsen glanced at the ice creature wizard. “Pull her out of the link. She’s in no condition to command.” He walked away, gesturing for Yarnig to follow.

Yarnig picked up his sword, sheathed it, and followed Darsen, sparing a glance back at Natoma. She smiled at him weakly. A pair of soldiers propped up her head and gave her a drink of water.

Darsen sent a request to the ice creature, and he and Yarnig were dropped from the link.

The battle continued to rage across the ziggurat, but the area immediately surrounding their squad was quiet, for the moment. Those at the edges of the group kept watch pensively.

Darsen came to a halt and faced Yarnig. “You need to take over the squad.”

Cold seeped into Yarnig’s chest. “Me?”

Darsen nodded. “You’re the emperor; you’re the logical choice.”

Yarnig glanced around to make sure no one would hear. “I don’t know anything about command,” he hissed.

Darsen sighed. “Lad, I know you never expected to be emperor; I know you’re young. But this squad needs a leader, and if people see that you, the emperor of Tor Som, can’t even take over a squad when the commander falls, they’re going to talk. They might talk anyway.” He stepped closer. “I’m trying to help you.

“I’m not asking you to take over the entire eastern force; someone else can handle that. But this squad needs a leader.”

A gust of acrid, chemical-laced smoke sent Yarnig into a fit of coughing. When his lungs stopped burning, he straightened, wiping sweat from his brow, and said, “Why can’t Natoma lead? The wound didn’t affect her mind.”

As he asked it, a new mental presence restored the link between him and Darsen. Leha’s mind entered the new link. What’s going on? Why did you pull Natoma out of the connection? she sent.

Darsen addressed both of them. Natoma isn’t going to make it.

Yarnig felt as if he’d been punched in the gut. “There must be something you can do!”

Leha’s wordless response echoed Yarnig’s reaction.

Darsen shook his head sadly. I’ve seen wounds like that before. The burn will have gone through to her organs. With proper care, she might live for a few more days, but if we move her – and we’ll have to – she won’t see sunset.

In spite of the heat and fires, Yarnig felt cold. He shook his head. He refused to accept this. There has to be something you can try. We can’t let her die.

We need her, Leha added, a note of urgency creeping into her voice. Through the link, Yarnig saw how much Leha had relied on Natoma for advice on tactics and strategy, how much she had relied on her as a friend.

A Clanswoman soldier ran up to them. “We’ve spotted an Automaton heading for us.”

Looking at Yarnig, Darsen gestured to the Clanswoman with his head.

Yarnig’s heart fluttered, and he felt himself sweat. He cleared his throat. “Take… thirty people and go out and meet it. Hold it off while we treat Natoma. Bring a wizard.”

The soldier nodded and departed. Yarnig cursed himself for appearing unsure. Their squad split, and within a few moments, the sounds of a conflict rumbled from the direction of those that had gone to fight the machine.

Yarnig hugged himself. “Isn’t there something you haven’t tried? Anything?”

Darsen hung his head and sighed. A Healing wizard might be able to save her, but I don’t think we have one in the attack force.

Yarnig queried Leha.

Regret tinged her psychic voice. I think the Automatons killed them all in the revolt.

A loud, metallic crashing reverberated from the direction of the other half of the squad. Yarnig flinched.

He ran his fingers over the top of his head, feeling the smooth metal of his skullcap. Couldn’t one of our wizards try Healing her? Isn’t it worth a try?

Darsen fixed him with a stern, though sympathetic, stare. It would do more harm than good, lad. Healing is a very difficult magical art. Few can do it.

A wooly hand placed itself on Yarnig’s shoulder, causing him to jump. He turned and saw their squad’s ice creature wizard, a gray and white-furred male. It takes great skill to accomplish high-level magics such as that. It requires a mind of great subtlety: an “eye for detail,” as you humans call it.

The ice creature continued to stare at him for several seconds. The alien quirked his head oddly. Yarnig felt Leha recede from the link briefly to focus on the battle.

It takes a mind like yours, the alien said after a moment.

The attention of Yarnig, Leha, and Darsen focused on him.

“What do you mean?” Yarnig said quietly.

You have a good mind for magic, Yarnig Tor Lannis. You notice details; you notice the little things that others ignore.

A lump had formed in Yarnig’s throat. He threw his hands into the air. “But I’m not a wizard!”

He sensed Leha think. No. But maybe you could be.

What are you talking about? he sent to her.

My brother made me a weapon before this attack. I can’t operate it while I’m fighting, so he does it from a distance. Through the telepathic connection, he can sense what I need, and immediately do it. Maybe you could do the same thing – link with a wizard and guide their power with your mind.

Yarnig deliberated over the possibility, his mind racing. He resisted the urge to fidget. This is crazy, he thought to himself, though it went out over the link. He flexed his fingers.

Darsen shrugged. It’s not like we have any better idea. There’s nothing to lose.

A series of explosions to the south stirred the air.

Yarnig took a breath to calm himself. What other choice do we have? “We will try it,” he said, trying to imitate the way his father had given orders.

I’ll take over command of the eastern force while you’re working, Leha said.

Yarnig acknowledged her. He sensed her detail a few squads to make sure that the section of the platform they had already secured, the section containing their squad, was protected, and then she disappeared from the link.

He, Darsen, and the ice creature walked back to where Natoma lay.

I have experienced descriptions of magical Healing in the minds of human wizards, the ice creature said. You will need to visualize the damaged tissue and attempt to blend it together and regrow it to its natural way of being. You must use a soft touch. Magic is a very dangerous force. Mistakes will hurt her.

Yarnig nodded numbly.

Whom do you wish to assist you? the alien asked.

“Erik. I want to work with Erik,” he choked. His entire body was drenched with nervous sweat, and his hands shook slightly.

The ice creature ducked his head.

They reached their fallen commander. Yarnig considered not telling her what they were about to do, but then he knelt beside her and said, “We’re going to attempt to Heal you magically. It’s risky, but if it works, you’ll be able to command us again.”

Her sweaty, taut face took on a hint of nervousness, but she nodded. Yarnig wondered if she was being brave for her own benefit, or for his. Or if she was simply brave.

Having overheard, a few of the surrounding soldiers muttered and exchanged quizzical or worried looks.

Erik arrived. Judging from his pale face and stiff shoulders, he had been told what was expected of him. The blonde Tor knelt beside Yarnig, dropping his shield to grip his staff with both hands. The ice creature wizard stood behind them and linked them together, drawing them so close that Yarnig could see through Erik’s eyes and vice versa. Darsen stayed in the connection, hovering at the edge of Yarnig’s awareness, ready to give any needed knowledge of anatomy or medicine.

Erik produced a piece of quartz from one pocket. Silver wire wrapped it in a glistening skeleton. Through their telepathic tie, Yarnig learned that it was a device he had been using to spy through the barrier, something that enhanced mental powers. He placed it over Natoma, and with a thought from him, she slipped into unconsciousness.

If anything goes wrong, she won’t have to feel it, Erik thought. Yarnig suppressed a shudder. The thought of her death, the thought of himself being connected to it, made his insides twist.

He took a deep breath, and they began.

Erik held his quartz and staff just above Natoma’s body and reached into the wound with his thoughts. After a few moments, an image of burnt tissue and boiled blood vessels formed in his and Yarnig’s minds.

Erik summoned his magic, and Yarnig felt the warmth pulse through his friend’s staff, the way the energy flowed through him, the way it surrounded them all. Yarnig extended his hands over the wound, trying to keep his breathing under control. Through Erik, he drew a tiny amount of power and focused on a small patch of charred flesh. Darsen sent him an image of what it would look like when healthy, and Yarnig pretended he was painting, adding new colors to the injury and altering it with tiny, soft strokes of his brush.

The damaged tissue brightened and softened slightly.

Yarnig drew in another deep breath. He tried going further, pulling in more power and making broader strokes with his brush of energy. The flesh pulsed and expanded, beginning to push at the tissue that surrounded it.

Slow down! Darsen warned.

Yarnig stopped, then quickly turned the magic into a smoothing motion to bring the Healed flesh back to a normal size. It shrunk, and the tissue around it took on some of its more natural, pinkish coloration.

Yarnig exhaled.

He began again, seeping magic into the injury, reshaping muscle and sinew, breathing new life into damaged organs. He lost track of time as his mind swam along blood vessels and through cracked skin. He painted health and well-being through Natoma’s body, the wound his canvas, the magic his tools.

Darsen’s voice stayed at the edge of his mind, offering advice and information. Sweat rolled down Yarnig’s forehead. He felt Erik tire, and his knees ached under his weight, but he ignored all discomforts. All that mattered was the Healing, all that mattered was Natoma.

At last, Darsen’s voice said, Stop, lad. You’ve done enough.

Brought back to reality by the healer’s voice, Yarnig studied his work in his mind’s eye, realizing how engrossed he had become. He still saw imperfections – places where he could do more, little flaws he could fix – but he knew when it was time to stop. He knew when to let a work of art be.

He opened his eyes, blinking in the soot-stained sunlight. His feet had gone to sleep, and he shifted to allow the blood to flow again. Pins and needles danced on his lower legs. The ice creature permitted the mental link to fade away. Erik slumped and supported himself with his staff, breathing heavily. At some point, the group sent out to fight the Automaton had returned.

Darsen came forward cautiously and lifted the wrapping on Natoma’s wound. The scent of medicines and bitter herbs wafted through the air. Beneath the bandages, all that remained of the injury was a slight discoloration of the skin.

Yarnig let out a breath, closed his eyes, and rocked backward in relief. Soldiers around him cheered and broke into applause. Someone clapped him on the back, and they all offered their congratulations.

He opened his eyes. Erik leaned forward, raised his crystal, and removed the spell of sleep. Natoma stirred, and her eyes fluttered open.

Yarnig bent over her. “It worked,” he said, beginning to grin. “You’re Healed.”

She worked her body from side to side and probed at the wound with one hand. A familiar expression of serenity emerged on her face, and she favored him with a brief smile. His heart fluttered.

She came to her feet, moving gingerly. She retrieved her sword, surveyed the fighters in her squad, and said, “Let’s get back into the fight,” raising her blade above her head.

The soldiers of the squad cheered, and the ice creatures of the eastern force reestablished the mental link. Yarnig came to his feet and raised his sword with the others, feeling his exhaustion melt away. As they charged for the front lines, the energy of another world granting them incredible speed, Yarnig’s face broke into a wide grin, and he felt warm joy flood through him in a way it had not in a long, long time.

* * *

The Automatons were cornered.

Seven of them remained, clustering together just below the point where the south platform met the mezzanine. The human army surrounded them, inching closer, tightening their noose. Leha marched down the ramp to the southern platform, followed by Drogin, the Healed Natoma, and more than a dozen Barrian, Lost One, and ice creature battle wizards.

The battle had roared for nearly two hours, and the sun had climbed high in the polluted sky. Leha had leapt and glided and fought and raged. Human, alien, and machine had died, and blood had stained the ziggurat. Magic had burnt and blazed, and it had sent hot and cold winds rushing chaotically through the machine city. One by one, the Automatons had fallen to the assaults of the humans and their allies, and now, it was about to end.

Leha stared down one of the machines, a tall Wizard-Automaton – she believed it to be the commander of the ziggurat. “Send a message to your leader, Automaton,” she called. “Tell it what happened here. Tell it humanity isn’t giving up.”

The Wizard-Automaton glared at her with cold blue eyes. We created your race, human. We will destroy it. A note of something like fear hid within its telepathic voice.

The Wizard-Automaton hurled a bolt of magic at her and her companions, and it bounced off a thick, shimmering shield created by the battle wizards at her sides. A piece of the shield broke off and condensed into a bubble around her body, and she leapt for the Automaton.

The human soldiers pounced on the remaining machines, smothering them in superior numbers as Leha weakened them with Sy’om’s energy.

Clanspeople hurled their ropes and hauled them off their feet; Lost Ones threw javelins and attacked with silver-edged axes; battle wizards struck with blades and spears of pure, burning power.

She touched down on the Wizard-Automaton’s shoulder, and her blade shot from its housing. The machine’s chest had been fitted with a thick metal plate to protect its neck, but Leha squirmed behind it, her shield fading as she ceased to need it. She dug into its neck with blade and claws, ignoring the reeking smoke she produced. The Automaton ignored her completely and used its last moments to blast at the other humans with all the magic it could muster. Efficient, she thought grimly.

Once a wide gap had been opened, she crawled inside, wormed her way into its chest, and burned through the silver wheel’s housing with her claws. The Automaton began to fall.

She braced herself, returned the machine to a Barrian energy level, and felt the Automaton’s chassis shake as it crashed to the ground. The noise hurt her ears.

She crawled out of the Automaton’s cold innards and onto its chest, breathing heavily, and surveyed the battlefield. Smoke still blew across the surfaces of the ziggurat, but magic no longer crackled through the air, and the boom of mechanical footfalls no longer sounded.

She wiped sweat from her brow. A single thought appeared in her mind, and it spread through the mental link like a wildfire.

Victory.

In some places, people began to shout and cheer. Some laughed, and others just smiled to themselves. Leha commanded her venom glands to shut down, and she instructed the ice creatures to dissolve the link. She closed her eyes and savored the moment.

After several seconds, she opened them again, stood, and once again surveyed her people. She began to walk, moving north. She gestured for those she passed to follow her, and soon her army followed in her wake, up to the mezzanine and then to the base of the watchtower. Only those too wounded to move and their caretakers stayed behind.

She came to the base of the watchtower and ascended the ramp, the others gathering on the floor of the ziggurat, a tired smile playing across her youthful features.

In all her adventure books, the heroes had always made grand speeches after big victories. Leha thought she’d read enough of them to make a passable attempt at her own. Her people deserved to hear the importance of what they’d done.

She came to a point halfway up what remained of the ramp – the size of the thing still astounded her – turned about, and reached inside herself, commanding her lungs and vocal chords to grow and strengthen. A warm wind stirred her earth-toned hair.

“My people,” she began, her voice ringing like a bell across the ruins of the machine city. “Barrians, Lost Ones, creatures of Sy’om. It has been a long journey to get to this day. We have fought long and hard, and we have lost much.” Too dry, she thought, suddenly feeling uncertain. “But today, the scales have shifted in another direction. Today, it is the Automatons, the Old Gods, who have felt our wrath. Today, Tallatzan Ziggurat belongs to us!”

She extended her right arm, flipped the switch in its polished sheath, and her blade burst forth to gleam in the grimy sunlight. Someone, probably Drogin, sent a burst of magical sparks flying from its tip. The army below cheered; some clapped, others banged their weapons and their shields or stamped their feet, and a few ice creatures raised their heads and bleated.

Leha drew a slow breath, feeling the voices of the crowd wash over her. A warm feeling of pride and triumph spread through her, and she resumed her speech with gusto. “Be proud of what you have done. This victory, our victory, brings new hope to our cause. It shows the machines that we are not weak, that we will not fall easily. It shows them that they are not safe.”

She raised her shining blade above her head. “This is a bright moment for our races. And you are the ones who made it!” she shouted, her words echoing off the remains of the ramp behind her. “It is your sweat and toil, your blood and pain, and the sacrifice of the fallen that has made this day what it is. Celebrate your achievement, victors of Tallatzan!”

The crowd erupted into joyous anarchy. Soldiers cheered and shouted and danced. The ziggurat seemed to quiver with the force of their jubilation.

Leha lowered her arm and let her last words resonate across the ziggurat, wondering if they had been too over the top, but grinning all the same.

She descended the ramp to look for Drogin. The word continued to ring through her mind like the sweet notes of a well-tuned instrument: victory.

———————

Enjoying the story so far? The next chapter will be posted soon, but if you can’t wait, you also have the opportunity buy the full ebook now!

Filed under: My writing, World Spectrum Tagged: books, fantasy, Rage of the Old Gods free chapters, sci-fi, steampunk, The World Spectrum, writing

Cheating on WoW: Champions Online

I’m not the biggest comic book/superhero fan in the world, but I do think it’s a great setting for games. It’s the ultimate power fantasy — who wouldn’t want super powers?

Given that, it surprises me that superhero MMOs are such a small niche. There just aren’t that many options for the MMO fan looking to put on tights and fight crime. I’ve already tried DC Universe Online — which was fun, but I’m just not into DC — and Marvel Heroes — the less said about that experience, the better. That left only one significant option left to try: Champions Online.

This game doesn’t have the best reputation and is by all reports is on maintenance mode with little to no new updates for a very long time, but I thought it was a worth a try. What I found was a game with serious issues, but which is nonetheless a lot better than the negative buzz led me to believe.

A hero rises:

The first thing I noticed about Champions Online is that the character creator is amazingly powerful. Like The Secret World, the gear you get your stats from and the clothes your character wears are two separate things, so in addition to having a healthy degree of control over your character’s physical appearance, you also have a baffling array of options for their costume.

Even with a great deal of options locked behind a paywall, the possibilities are nearly endless. Champions Online is the first game I’ve played that could truly rival Aion for the sheer breadth of options in character customization, and if you can’t create a hero that exactly matches your vision, that’s more likely due to a lack of creativity on your part than any flaw with the game.

If you’re as concerned with getting the perfect look for your character as I am, Champions Online’s character creation screen may destroy your life. Just fair warning.

There’s a lot of potential to recreate your favorite comic book characters. In my time with the game, I crossed paths with doppelgangers of both Captain America and Deadpool.

Once I got into the game, I found the mechanics fairly standard, with a few interesting quirks.

The questing is very much like in Neverwinter, also made by Cryptic. That is to say it’s pretty much your stock standard kill and collect tasks, but with good pacing and an abundance of soloable mini-dungeons to break the monotony a little.

The combat is a little strange. Mostly, it’s a standard tab target system, but there are also some elements of action combat thrown in. For example, there’s an active block mechanic that can be used to largely negate incoming damage, and certain enemies have very powerful attacks that must be blocked if you don’t want to take a brutal damage hit.

Something I enjoyed was that the telegraphs for these big attacks often come in the form of comic book “sound effects” — colorful bubbles above enemies’ heads saying things like “Pow!” Nice touch.

Oddly, the combat in Champions Online is actually quite difficult by MMO standards, and several quest bosses were real nail-biters. Normally I’d praise any effort to inject a little danger into MMO combat, but if there was ever a time for enemies to just fold under the slightest pressure, a superhero game is it.

As in DC Universe Online, players can pick up many objects from around the game world and throw them at enemies, but the damage from doing so seems quite minor, and it struck me as more an element of flavor than a viable tactic.

Similarly, the travel powers are very fun — and quite diverse — but not quite as powerful or fun as those in DC Universe Online.

On the whole, the core gameplay of Champions Online is enjoyable, but doesn’t really sell the idea of you as a superhero, at least at low levels.

Looking beyond the solo game, the group content I tried was very quick and kind of basic, but also very accessible. There’s a streamlined group finder, and even as a DPS, my queue times were almost instant. On the other hand, finding a PvP match proved impossible. If the UI is to be believed, I was the only person in the entire game queued — at least in my level bracket.

One other thing that deserves mentioning is that despite Champions Online’s reputation as a dead game, the game world did seem fairly busy, and I encountered no shortage of other players. Maybe it wasn’t as crowded as some other games I’ve played, but it definitely wasn’t the ghost town I expected.

The comic book feel:

The look and feel of Champions Online is very cartoony in a way that I found quite charming. Similarly, the story and characters are an endless string of cliches, but there’s enough humor and self-awareness to make it charming rather than grating.

There are a lot of subtle details that I liked. For example, there is a mission where you contact various NPC superheroes over computer, and each one has a different style of texting — from the beefy brawler who talks in all caps to a sorceress who is clearly typing on her phone.

The game world is also richly detailed and a real pleasure to immerse yourself in. Millennium City feels very authentic as a sprawling metropolis — at least as comic books imagine the concept. There are a variety of neighbourhoods with distinct looks and personalities, and there in-character signs and advertisements everywhere — often providing a chuckle or two when you read them.

The streets are full of random NPCs, making the city feel populated by more than just superheroes. I assumed these were just set pieces, but when I clicked on one, a short scene played out where I wound up signing an autograph for her. I then went around clicking on random civilians all over and found them full of fun little bits of dialogue.

I really wish games would put more effort into little details like this. It adds such a richness to the experience.

The only downside is that mob density is quite high, making exploring the world something of a chore at times, and there doesn’t seem to be a lot of value in exploring beyond seeing the sights and a few very sporadic open world events.

The elephant in the room:

This article has been fairly positive so far, but there is one glaring issue with Champions Online, and that is its free to play to model.

All of Cryptic’s games have invasive monetization. It’s the worst aspect of both Neverwinter and Star Trek Online. But Champions Online is even worse.

One of the things I most hate is when free to play games paywall class choices. Your choice of class is by far the most important choice you can make it an MMO, and being able to find the right class can make or break one’s experience.

Most games that limit class choice for free players only lock out one or two, but Champions Online has more than half its archetypes reserved for paying customers only. The ones that remain tend to be the ones that most closely resemble classes in fantasy MMOs, which rather hinders the appeal of a superhero game. I like dual-wielding swords, but I can do that in any MMO. In a superhero game, I’d like something a bit different.

Worse yet, freeform characters, which can choose any powers to create a unique build, are also limited to paying customers, and the cost to get one is very high. If you don’t want to risk losing your freeform status, you need to subscribe indefinitely, buy a $300 lifetime subscription, or purchase a $50 freeform slot — which still carries the risk of losing most of your powers if you unsubscribe.

A freeform archetype is a great idea, and combined with the awesome visual customization, it could allow anyone to make their perfect superhero down to the finest detail, but the cost of such is just unreasonable.

Hideouts, a form of player housing, are also limited to paying customers, with no free option whatsoever.

And there are other irritants. In-game voice chat plays advertisements for non-subscribers. A pop-up for the cash shop appears every single time you log in. Virtually every aspect of the game is monetized somehow. Non-vendorable lockboxes drop constantly. It gets very wearing very quickly.

Is it worth it?

I’d really like to be able to answer that question with a, “yes.” There’s a lot about Champions Online that’s very endearing. But the free to play model pretty much forces you to pay early and often, and you could get a better experience for less money from DC Universe Online. So unless you’re both desperate for a superhero MMO and vehemently opposed to DC, it’s probably not worth your time.

I’m strongly tempted to keep playing myself, but I just don’t think I can justify the expense that would be necessary to play the game the way I want to.

Filed under: Games Tagged: Champions Online, comics, fantasy, sci-fi

Mass Effect: A Journey in Pictures

I recently finished another complete play-through of the entire Mass Effect trilogy, and I wanted to do a post on it. But giving my thoughts on the trilogy as a whole seemed rather redundant, since I’ve already done that. I considered doing a bio on my version of Shepard including all the major choices I made and my rational behind them and her character, but that seemed like it’d be rather dull.

So I decided I’d take advantage of my compulsive screenshoting and show off some of my favourite images from this most recent play through, along with a little commentary. Click the images to see them full-size.

Mass Effect:

In all but one of my playthroughs of the trilogy, I’ve modeled my Shepard after Nova Terra from the StarCraft universe. This is because the plot for the original Mass Effect is suspiciously similar to that of StarCraft: Ghost, and because Nova is awesome.

This applies to both her physical appearance — blonde ponytail, green eyes, white and blue armour where possible — and her playstyle. I’m always an adept with sniper rifle training, emulating Nova’s psionic powers and skills as a sniper. Plus those are the two methods of fighting I most enjoy.

I don’t really have a problem with Wrex — though I’m also not especially fond of him — but I’ve decided that I prefer to kill him because it makes the genophage story in ME3 a lot more interesting. A harder decision makes for a better experience.

I never understood the hate for the vehicle segments in ME1. The controls are a little wonky, and they were a bit over-used, but they provided a good change of pace from the sequences on foot, and I think the later games were the lesser for their exclusion.

I really think the Reapers are one of the scariest monsters science fiction has yet produced, and Sovereign’s speech when you first encounter it is just chilling. “You exist because we allow it, and you will end because we demand it.”

Mass Effect 2:

During this playthrough, I decided to pick up all the remaining DLCs that I didn’t already have. That meant that this was my first time meeting Kasumi, and it turns out I quite like her. She reminds me of someone. It’s a shame she couldn’t have a bigger role.

Although her appearance and combat style is based on Nova, I tend to RP my Shepard as a female Jean-Luc Picard. She’s a stern but regal figure, noble if not always warm. I wound up with max paragon scores in the first two games this time around.

Tell her that I miss our little talks…

This was also my first time playing through Overlord. The ending had a good punch, but overall I didn’t enjoy it that much.

Unlike in ME1, I find ME2’s few vehicle sequences terribly aggravating. That damn hover tank is made of glass, and for some reason they never let you save in the middle of a sequence. It’s incredibly aggravating.

I feel like this shot was designed specifically for screenshot fans like me.

ME2 is my least favourite part of the trilogy by a significant margin. It has some great characters, but most of the game amounts to little more than mountains of repetitive busywork. That said, the ending is really spectacular. Just a shame the rest of the game isn’t like that.

I’m not normally one to complain about DLC, but I really think Arrival should have been included in the base game. Maybe because it has more relevance to the rest of the trilogy’s storyline than the rest of ME2 combined…

Also, one of my few disappointments with ME3 is that it did not feature Harbinger more prominently. Really felt like they were building it into the “Big Bad” of the series.

Mass Effect 3:

In stark contrast to ME2’s rambling, ME3 hits the ground running and never lets you come up for air, which I love. Also props for giving Canada some time in the spotlight, even if it involves being curbstomped by the Reapers.

I’m pretty sure my Shepard sleeps in her uniform.

I love this gun.

I’m not really that big on the various aliens in Mass Effect. They all seem more like bland archetypes than people. That said, I really like the Quarians, and the Rannoch plot was one of the highlights for ME3 for me. A great note of positivity to counterbalance the unrelenting bleakness of the rest of the game.

I like this shot. I must admit my fondness for Traynor is probably a fair bit beyond what is healthy for a video game character.

This was my first time playing through the Omega DLC. It was fun and pretty meaty for a DLC, and I love the new flare power, but if Aria T’Loak’s personality was a sound, it’d be fingernails on a chalkboard, and overall the story wasn’t that interesting.

Again, Reapers are bloody terrifying.

This was also my first time playing Citadel. I thought the clone story was, well, pretty bad, honestly. All the forced humour seemed jarringly out of place with the tone of the rest of the game. Also, why can’t I get armour that cool?

That said, the later half with the party and catching up with all the characters was great. Very unique experience for a video game.

My favourite part of this shot is how Shepard and Traynor are paying more attention to each other than the party around them. I wonder if it’s because of the romance, or if it’s just a happy coincidence? I notice that EDI and Joker also seem to be fixated on each other, but Tali and Garrus aren’t.

This time around, I was struck by what a brilliant piece of storytelling the fall of Thessia is. I don’t even like Asari, and that sequence still ripped my heart out and stomped on it. I really wish more games had the courage to hand such brutal setbacks to the protagonist.

The space battles in ME3 are fantastic.

I miss them already.

* * *

Well, that turned out pretty wordy after all. I wonder if anyone’s gonna have the patience to wade through all this?

Filed under: Games Tagged: Mass Effect, sci-fi

Retro Review: Once Upon a Time, Season Two: Episodes 7-12

You know the drill. Continuing the binge-watch. Here be spoilers.

“Child of the Moon”:

Well, this answers one of the big questions I had going into season two: Will Red start transforming again now that the curse is broken?

Yes. Yes, she will.

It’s not a welcome revelation for Red herself, though. She’s terrified she’s going to lose control and hurt someone.

Meanwhile, King George is determined to continue his quest for vengeance against Prince Charming in Storybrook, and when a local man is gruesomely killed, he’s quick to exploit the suspicion against Red as a tool to discredit Charming.

In the past and in another world, Red encounters a clan of werewolves led by her long-lost mother, who teach her how to understand and control the wolf within her.

I really like Red. She’s one of the show’s more interesting characters, torn between her beast nature and her humanity, and the actress puts on a great performance in this episode.

Unfortunately, I also found both stories very predictable. It was blindingly obvious that King George was going to try to frame Red even before the body showed up, and Red finding a home among fellow lycanthropes was clearly too good to be true.

On the plus side, the twist at the very end was definitely not something I saw coming. The connection between Aurora and Henry raises all kinds of interesting possibilities.

Also, Granny is awesome.

Overall rating: 7.5/10

“Into the Deep”:

A connection between worlds has been found in Henry and Aurora’s dreams, and Emma’s party hopes to use to gain the information needed to defeat Cora from Rumpelstiltskin.

Cora isn’t going to make that easy, though. She attacks the party and abducts Aurora. Meanwhile, Henry’s continued efforts to make contact put his life in danger. Groups in both worlds are forced to take increasingly desperate efforts to maintain contact.

If memory serves, this is the first episode of the series without any flashbacks, and while I tend to enjoy the flashbacks, it is a nice change of pace. It makes for a very tight and exciting episode. It’s got the feeling of building tension that you usually only see near the very end of a season, but we’re still not even halfway through. Very good.

“Into the Deep” also makes good use of the cast, with strong performances once again from Snow, Regina, and Henry.

Really my only complaint is that it once again shows both Emma and Charming to be complete and utter schmucks.

Overall rating: 8/10

“Queen of Hearts”:

All jail and no magic makes Rumpelstiltskin a dull mage…

With Aurora’s unwilling aid, Cora is able to defeat Emma and Snow’s company, paving the way for her to go to Storybrook. Knowing a portal will open soon, Regina and Rumpel plan to destroy it to prevent Cora’s arrival, even if it risks killing Emma and Snow. And the flashbacks illuminate the origins of Cora and Hook’s partnership.

There’s enough sword fights, magic, and excitement to make this a solid episode, though it doesn’t quite live up to the expectations set by “Into the Deep,” and a few things bug me about it.

I’m a bit sad Mulan and Aurora didn’t come through to Storybrook. They might show up again, but this undoubtedly means they’ll be on the backburner for the time being. I’d be perfectly happy to never see Aurora again, but Mulan was pretty cool. I want to see her get more time in the spotlight.

I’m also not sure how I feel about Emma gaining the power to shoot out Harry Potter love rays. On the one hand, it makes sense to give her some continued relevance as a saviour, since that’s her whole reason for existing. On the other hand, Emma is really boring, and I don’t want her becoming any more ubiquitous than she already is. And I don’t know, but random love lasers just feels a little tacky.

Overall rating: 7.3/10

“The Cricket Game”:

Regina continues to be one of the most interesting parts of this series. After the enormous amount of effort and skill they poured into making her utterly unlikable, making the viewer feel sympathy for her should be all but impossible, but here they are pulling it off.

When one of Storybrook’s residents turns up dead, all the evidence points to Regina… maybe a little too obviously. But of course, no one is willing to believe she’s not guilty, and after all she’s done, it’s hard to blame them.

Only Emma thinks something might be up, and she actually tries to prove Regina’s innocence, but the evidence seems absolute.

Along the way, we once again see that Emma does, in fact, have magic, which I’m still not thrilled about. More magic is always good, but it would have been more interesting if it had happened to anyone else.

On the whole, this episode split evenly between Emma and Regina, and therefore split between awesomeness and mediocrity. Thankfully, Regina is just a bit more interesting than Emma is tedious.

Also, I am once again struck by how much Emma and Regina are a potential goldmine for slash fic writers. They’re even sort of raising a kid together. It writes itself!

For that matter, Aurora and Mulan could also prove to be quite the shipper goldmine.

Really this entire show just seems like a playground for femslash writers.

Overall rating: 7.4/10

“The Outsider”:

This episode could pretty much be summed up as “forty minutes of Belle being awesome.”

In Storybrook, Hook enacts his plan of revenge against Rumpelstiltskin, hoping to use Belle to get to him. But Belle’s tougher than she looks, and Hook may have bought more than he bargained for.

In the Enchanted Forest’s past, Belle is seized by an urge for adventure and heads off to help defeat a legendary monster. Along the way, she joins forces with Mulan, but Belle’s books prove a mightier weapon than Mulan’s sword.

I have trouble thinking of much to say about this episode beyond the fact that Belle is awesome. It’s always gratifying when a character who doesn’t seem especially tough or heroic proves themselves the equal of the greats.

That ending, though… My poor aching feels.

I really hope Hook dies a gruesome, painful death at some point. Hopefully sooner rather than later. What a horrid, disgusting excuse for a person. I mean, Regina and Rumpel have done some awful stuff, and Cora is just pure evil, but Hook is vile. Can they lock him in a room with Red during the next full moon? Or maybe let Grumpy use him as a pick sharpener?

Overall rating: 7.8/10

“In the Name of the Brother”:

When we saw no more mention of Wale’s true identity as Dr. Frankenstein, I assumed the writers realized it was a bad idea and decided to drop that story.

So much for that.

Following the car accident that laid up Hook, the driver — a stranger to Storybrook — is at death’s door. There’s some debate over weather they should let him die to save Storybrook’s secrecy, but of course Charming and Snow won’t have it, so it falls to Wale/Frankenstein to save him.

But our dear Victor is in a bad way, and before he can save anyone, someone needs to save him.

Meanwhile, Cora attempts to restore ties with Regina and Rumpel, with a disturbing level of success.

All my previous complaints about the inclusion of Frankenstein still stand. It still feels out of place, and it’s still ignoring the whole point of the story of Frankenstein. Regina falling for Cora’s manipulations was also terribly disappointing, I’m sad about how things have turned out for Belle and Rumpel, and I’m not terribly enthused about them adding the need to keep Storybrook secret to all the other problems.

Oh, and Hook is still drawing breath, albeit with difficulty.

This was not only a boring episode, but one which gives me significant doubts about the quality of the series for at least the near future.

Overall rating: 4.9/10 Probably the worst episode of the series to date, and a great disappointment considering the mostly high quality of the second season so far.

* * *

I just Googled “Once Upon a Time Emma and Regina.” Yeah, wow.

Filed under: Retro Reviews Tagged: fantasy, Once Upon a Time, review, TV

Sci-Fi TV: Dark Matter, Rain, and Canada’s Role

Sci-fi TV seems to be going through something of a renaissance these days. After Battlestar Galactica and the Stargate shows ended, the future of science fiction on television seemed rather bleak, but these days there’s a pretty good crop of shows, with more on the way.

Two upcoming titles in particular have caught my eye, and one of them has got me thinking about how much my own country is playing a role in the future of the sci-fi genre.

Rain:

I think it’s pretty much a safe bet that if you have any interest in sci-fi, you probably love Katee Sackhoff. As Kara “Starbuck” Thrace, she was one of the highlights of Battlestar Galactica, and that’s saying something considering how much great acting there was on that show.

Since then, she hasn’t fled from the sci-fi genre, earning more fans through her roles in the Bionic Woman remake and the Riddick movies. Anecdotally, I’m also told she’s a very kind person who is quite good to her fans, and she does a lot of charity work.

So when I found out she’s planning to not only star in a new TV series but is also its creator, my ears immediately perked up.

The show is titled Rain, and it stars Katee as the title character, a soldier in a world ravaged by global warming and ecological disaster.

Now, granted, we have no idea how good she is at working behind the camera — we only know she’s a great actress. But Katee’s awesome — I can’t imagine this not going well.

My confidence is further bolstered by the fact Rain is being produced by the same company and many of the same people behind Continuum. With Star Trek, Stargate: Universe, and Battlestar Galactica gone, Continuum is carrying the torch for intelligent sci-fi these days, and doing a pretty bang-up job of it. The expertise behind it plus Katee’s charisma and acting ability seems like a match made in Heaven.

Let’s hope Rain is picked up by a network soon.

Dark Matter:

This is one I’ve just started paying attention to. Scheduled to premiere the same night as Defiance’s third season, this series follows a space ship crew who awaken from stasis with no memory of their identities or their mission.

That’s not really the greatest premise in the world — I fear the potential for stringing the viewer along with lots of mystery and no pay-off. But the pedigree gives me hope. The series was created by Joseph Mallozzi and Paul Mullie, who headlined the Stargate TV shows.

This leads me to believe that Dark Matter may be the closest we ever get to a third season of Stargate: Universe, and that thought alone is enough to get me interested.

Even if that assumption proves wrong, it remains a fact that Mallozzi and Mullie are both talented writers and producers, and they haven’t disappointed me yet.

There’s also a Continuum connection in that Dark Matter will star (among others) Roger Cross, who plays Travis Verta.

Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to find any info on when or where Dark Matter will be shown in Canada, but hopefully I’ll be able to give it a try before too long.

Canada: The new leader in sci-fi?

Something else that’s interesting about Dark Matter is that it’s being filmed in Toronto.

It seems to me that Canada has become quite the sci-fi Mecca all of a sudden. Orphan Black is both filmed and set in Toronto. Continuum is both filmed and set in Vancouver. Defiance is set in Missouri, but it’s actually filmed in the GTA. The recent mini-series Ascension was shot in Montreal. Although it’s not sci-fi, Once Upon a Time is still definitely speculative fiction, and it’s filmed in BC.

We could even talk about video games a bit. Bioware is a Canadian company, and I always appreciated the nods to their roots in the Mass Effect games. Whereas sci-fi often ignores Canada, in Mass Effect, Alliance headquarters are in Vancouver, Kaidan Alenko is Canadian, and some fans believe Commander Shepard is meant to be of Canadian stock based on the fact both voice actors who play the character are Canadian.

Of course, I suppose this isn’t entirely new. There’s always been a lot of good sci-fi coming out of Canada. Battlestar Galactica, Caprica, the Stargate shows, and Sanctuary all come to mind.

It just seems a little more widespread to me now, rightly or wrongly. Maybe it’s that these days we have shows that are truly Canadian productions — like Continuum — rather than American shows filming in Canada to save money. Maybe it’s that shows are starting to wear their Canadiana on their sleeves. Continuum embraces its Vancouverite identity, and while Orphan Black doesn’t explicitly state where it takes place, we see characters reference locations like Parkdale and Scarborough, so it’s not exactly a secret that this is Toronto.

Or maybe I’m just noticing it more. Either way, as a Canadian sci-fi fan, I’m glad to see my country making such a contribution to the genre. In a time where most of our country seems devoted to being backward and turning a blind eye to science, it’s nice to see that Canada still looks to the future in at least one way.

I wonder where Rain is going to film?

Filed under: Misc. Tagged: Battlestar Galactica, Continuum, Dark Matter, Defiance, Mass Effect, Once Upon a Time, Orphan Black, Rain, Sanctuary, sci-fi, TV

Retro Review: Once Upon a Time, Season Two: Episodes 1-6

I’m pressing on with my binge watch of Once Upon a Time, moving on to the second season. You know the drill: spoilers incoming.

“Broken” (season premiere):

The season kicks off with a very eventful episode that does an admirable job of providing a satisfying conclusion to last season’s cliffhanger and beginning new arcs.

The curse has been broken in Storybrook, and the residents have regained their memories and their true selves. Tearful reunions abound, and it’s a great resolution to the events of the first season — very emotionally satisfying.

But then that begs a new question: Why are they still in Storybrook? Regina claims their old world has been destroyed outright, but who’s trusting Regina?

Meanwhile, Rumpelstiltskin is out for revenge, despite Belle’s objections. He’s determined to make Regina suffer for what she did to Belle, but Henry — and by extension the rest of his newly reunited family — won’t allow Regina to become the victim of vigilante justice, magical or otherwise.

In the fantasy realm, we’re introduced to several new characters: Sleeping Beauty (who is quite unpleasant), Mulan (who I already like), and Philip (Sleeping Beauty’s prince). They’re struggling to escape the wrath of a terrible wraith… but all is not as it seems.

The twist for the fantasy side of things was really great, I have to say. Excellent way to play on the expectations of the viewer.

I also like how the return of magic to Storybrook means we can now enjoy fantasy elements in all aspects of the story. That raises a lot of interesting possibilities, and it’s bound to change the show for the better. We’re already seeing it in this episode.

My one complaint is that everyone is being rather unnecessarily harsh on old Rumpel. I grant he’s not the most likable fellow, but really the only bad thing he’s done in recent memory is seek revenge on Regina, and while I can understand disagreeing with his methods, the fact is pretty much everyone can agree Regina needs some comeuppance. Is it really such a big deal if Rumpel is a little overzealous?

A few questions also linger now that the curse is broken. Will Red transform come the full moon? She doesn’t have her hood. And what happened to Pinocchio? Can he be saved by the return of magic, or is his fate sealed?

Overall rating: 8/10

“We Are Both”:

Trapped and desperate, the people of Storybrook are in chaos. They look to Prince Charming for leadership, but he’s too distracted by his quest to find Emma and Snow.

Meanwhile, Regina is on her own quest to reclaim the things most precious to her: magic, and Henry. And in true Regina fashion, she’ll stop at nothing to achieve these goals.

On the fantasy end of things, we’re back to flashbacks as we learn how Regina first embarked on the path to becoming a magician. Of course, it all comes back to Rumpelstiltskin.

Regina was really the star of this episode. It struck me how thorough a job the writers have done to make her utterly unlikable. I like how she just lies about everything all the time, even when she doesn’t have a particularly good reason to. It shows how deeply corrupt she is.

It was also interesting to see how she’s betrayed everything she ever believed in, how she’s become that which she once despised. And yet despite all that, there is still an echo of the person she once was.

Regina can be a very interesting character when the writers aren’t just playing her as cartoonishly evil without nuance.

Charming’s side of the story was less compelling — again, I see where Emma gets it from — but it was nice to see him acknowledge and overcome his shortcomings, and I am enjoying how his relationship with Henry is shaping up.

Overall rating: 7.7/10

“Lady of the Lake”:

This another episode I’ve seen before, though for whatever reason I had almost no recollection of it. I think by this point Once Upon a Time’s mythology has become so complex that you can’t just jump in.

Things are getting quite complicated — though I’m not complaining. We’re now following three different plotlines spread across time and worlds.

In Storybrook, Henry continues to do everything he can to set things right in the world — be it through finding a way to reach Emma and Snow or reuniting Jefferson with his daughter — even if it puts himself at risk.

In the Enchanted Forest’s present day, Emma and Snow undertake a dangerous journey, accompanied by Mulan and Sleeping Beauty*, to find a way back to Storybrook. This plot mostly serves to remind us that Emma is a lunkhead and Sleeping Beauty is really quite nasty.

*(Her proper name is Aurora, apparently.)

But by far the most compelling story takes place in the Enchanted Forest’s past. The war with King George takes a heavy toll on Snow White and Prince Charming, as Charming’s mother is mortally wounded in a skirmish and Snow is captured and poisoned to ensure she will never have children.

Unlikely aid comes from the disgraced Sir Lancelot, who was serving King George as a mercenary but has a change of heart upon learning the depths of the king’s cruelty. They set off to find the same enchanted lake that Charming used to cure poor Frederick of Midas’s touch.

But of course, it’s not that easy. Only one of the women in Charming’s life can be cured.

This is plot is a great example of Once Upon a Time at its very best, full of action, adventure, magic, great characters, and heartfelt emotion. It’s only a shame that the rest of the episode isn’t quite as strong.

Also a bit of a shame that Lancelot is dead. He seemed pretty cool. Then again, if Cora’s anything like her daughter, she’s probably lying.

Overall rating: 8/10

“The Crocodile”:

It’s time for another Rumpelstiltskin-heavy episode — always a good thing — and this time the focus is on his relationships, and how they’ve failed.

In the past, he loses his wife to her own wanderlust. I gotta say, as wretched and pathetic as Rumpel was back then — and in many ways still is — I still gotta think he could have done better. His wife was a truly awful and selfish person.

This plot is also noteworthy for introducing us to another classic fairytale character: Captain Hook. In this case, Rumpel is the “crocodile” who took his hand.

In Storybrook, he is at risk of losing Belle to his own emotional cowardice. To make matters worse, her father is out to “save” her from Rumpel’s clutches. With kidnapping and horrible magical abuse, because being a parent is hard.

Maybe it’s just because I’m writing this after a particularly bad day, but there were a lot of characters in this episode that I wanted to push down the stairs.

That’s not a complaint, though. A good story sometimes needs people to hate, and a lot of my disdain for them comes from the fact that they hurt characters I genuinely care about, which also speaks highly of Once Upon a Time.

And really, anything with Rumpel and Belle is just gold… No pun intended.

Overall rating: 7.9/10

“The Doctor”:

With how much Once Upon a Time is throwing together disparate parts of fiction, I almost expected this episode to be a Doctor Who crossover.

The truth is only marginally less bizarre.

It’s also worth noting that this is the last of the episodes I’d seen before, though for whatever reason I had almost no memory of it.

The meatiest plot this time around deals with the Enchanted Forest’s past. A young Regina is desperate to find a way to bring Daniel back from the dead. At first, she seeks magical tutorship from Rumpelstiltskin, but when she learns not even magic can resurrect the dead, she turns to an even odder figure for help: Doctor Victor Frankenstein, brought to the land of magic through one of Jefferson’s portals.

In Storybrook, we see Regina making a surprisingly earnest attempt at reforming herself, and Dr. Wale — Frankenstein in truth — decides to repeat his attempt to resurrect Daniel, successfully this time. But when has trying to bring back the dead ever ended well?

I’m not sure I like the idea of bringing Dr. Frankenstein into the Once Upon a Time mythos. They’re already thrown together many disparate elements of fiction, and their whole multiverse touching the imaginations of people in our world theory explains it all quite well, but Frankenstein isn’t even close to being fantasy or a fairytale. It feels out of place.

I also don’t like that they went with the pop culture version of Frankenstein rather than being at all true to the original story. The whole point was that his creation became a monster not simply because he was a reanimated corpse, but because of the hatred and rejection that was heaped upon him from the very moment of his birth. I’m not even a particular fan of Frankenstein, but if you’re going to do something, do it right.

On the plus side, “The Doctor” featured another very strong performance from Regina. I really like that they seem to be working harder to present her as a nuanced person rather than a caricature of evil. More interesting that way.

Overall rating: 6.9/10

“Tallahassee”:

Just as episodes focusing on Regina or Rumpel are always cause for celebration, an Emma-heavy episode is never a good thing. That said, this isn’t a terrible episode. Just an unremarkable one.

The timeline gets even more muddled as we flash back to Emma’s life shortly before Henry’s birth. As one would expect, it doesn’t put her in the best light. Pinocchio’s cameo was interesting, at least.

In the fantasy realm, Emma and Hook climb a beanstalk to recover a magical compass from the last of the giants in the hopes it may lead them to Storybrook. A plot focused entirely on two of the characters I least like… Yeah, not the most exciting episode in the world.

The one thing I will say is that I really liked the backstory and history about the giants, their ability to travel between worlds, and their war with Jack and his forces. That was interesting — I want to know more about that.

Overall rating: 6.8/10

Filed under: Retro Reviews Tagged: fantasy, Once Upon a Time, review, TV