Ina Disguise's Blog: New blog, page 40

When are you going to stop?

I assume that you have been told to stop, otherwise you would not be down to 1 hit per day.

When are you going to stop?

Since my mother has died, I have had the misfortune to deal with some of the most venal, worthless nasty individuals I have ever come across.  Apparently obsessed with sex and money and with no sense of other people’s emotional well being.

I am not, and have never been one of these people.  I have been as considerate as I can possibly be without grinding to a complete halt.

It is funny to think that these people are very likely to bump into me again.  I wonder what they think I will do?  They probably think I am like them, in which case they will be very frightened.

I am not sure why you are still checking the website.  You do not have any control over me and you lack sufficient qualities to ever gain any, so you are simply wasting your time. I have thought and thought about this, and there is no way of you talking your way out of this, even if you do finally figure out why you are so interested in what I am doing.

I hope you have the very boring and shame-filled life that you appear to desire, with the nasty piece of work of your choice, followed by death from ignorance at the hands of equally stupid and venal nurses.

In other words, may you have everything you currently stand for. I’m better than that, you are not.

 

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Let Down Again

Yet again, let down by a so-called friend.  He actually invested in the Boris project to begin with, presumably on the basis that I would keep him around longer because he certainly had no intention of doing anything but sabotage it.

Apparently explaining to him about a million times that the project was not actually political had zero impact, and his primary concern, as usual is for himself.  I am supposed to want to not progress any of my work, listen to decades old stories of how someone said something nasty to him once, and busy myself fussing over his health.

I have done this for him for years.  Despite two assaults on my person, terrifying acts of aggression towards random individuals which I managed to remove him from, mood swings which were entirely bizarre and huge legal and health events, I have stood by this guy.

All this counts for precisely nothing, which should be a life lesson.  I am not sure what the life lesson is supposed to mean,  but I am sure I should have ejected this guy years ago and not allowed him back no matter what he said or did to ‘make up for it.’  It was just about persistent manipulation and nothing else.  Encourage me to waste my time, and then take great pleasure in making absolutely sure it counted for nothing.

So, we can assume that I can get on with my work now, although I still need to find an extra income stream pending the completion of two key pieces of written work, and two key pieces of artwork.

Since the last job ended, I have wondered because of what happened, whether I have a thing for Indian dudes.  I have devoted myself to eyeing them up as a result, and the conclusion is that I have no more thing for Indian dudes than any other dudes.  That one was apparently special.

Having said that, I have a very calm colleague at work at the moment, whom I like being with, who after investigation turned out to be Punjabi.  He is an extremely Scottish Punjabi however, probably a bit more Scottish than I am, so I do not think we can draw a conclusion from this beyond that I fear men from the UK more than i fear men from elsewhere, because several of them have beaten me up in the past and strangely enough, that doesn’t appeal.

My skin cracked up at the beginning of last week due to the six weeks of looking for work and nothing else.  I have cured this by returning to a very strict diet of supermix, increasing the low level of carbs, and returning to a regime of hardass walking.  I have now returned my skin to its glorious normal and lost ten pounds.

I may experiment with mono-filming my new piece as I am now heartily tired of people letting me down on projects and I am no further forward with having someone I can phone in order to stand next to a camera whilst I work.

This is most frustrating, and I do wonder whether I should just drop the performance elements of my work altogether since other important things are being neglected as a result of the sheer frustration of getting simple things done and out.

I have several placards to finish.  I think I will do it anyway, on the basis that I may try doing this without the fun bits.  It seems like a bit of a downer however.  Why are people so boring?

 

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Director walk out

And yet again I have been let down by my perfectly healthy director.

Which means I cannot work tomorrow.

I am done with this dude. 18 years of done.

 

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Back to Work

At last the website seems to be free of staring brat infestation!

At Last! Thank you that man!

 

Ina Disguise is out tomorrow

Much love to Boris, I am preparing a gift for you poppet.

 

Ina

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8 weeks later

It has now been 8 weeks since I was unfairly terminated over a non existent relationship that failed to happen over a 7 week period.

The bank and management noobs involved are still obsessing over the website.  Evidently I made an impression.

They are still trying to hit posts that were removed weeks ago.  One of them consists of two sentences and a nice graphic of one finger.

Meanwhile, I have come up with a solution which would suit everyone, even the vile couple.

This is the difference between a leader and some followers.  I am about a hundred miles further away from this.

This tendency to look at things too closely is what makes people stupid.  I am constantly thankful for my alternative career.

I do miss him though, even though he doesn’t actually do anything apart from stare and get annoyed.  This is silly.  I have met some very nice, calm down to earth people who know nothing about my alter ego, and life is much less fraught now.

I have made some very good contacts recently, so I do have other things to do, however I am still driven to make sure that 1.  SB2’s career doesn’t get destroyed because of the company he keeps. and 2. Staff get to have some peace and dignity in the future.

I am so sorry that isn’t good enough for you all. Perhaps you should move somewhere more bitter and inane.

 

 

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There Is No Escaping Destiny Boris

Ahh, you won’t get out of it that easily Boris.  The fates can delay us, but no matter how naughty you are, you are still going to be my dream pick for PM.

I was thinking of doing a short film of a burkha wearing superfan waving a large Boris for PM banner, but we got a bit side tracked this eve, so I have a couple of long letters to do before I can fit it in.

Hope you are OK apart from that.  The Viscount didn’t even pick up his replies, so I think the castle option is bombed out.

Apart from that, still sorting out the borrowers issue with the previous job.  I know it is tiresome and it has slowed me to a dead stop due to the frivolousness of funding one’s own artwork, but I cheered up markedly when I saw your article, so thanks for that.

Have some serious talks on the way, so am drafting a few reports to deal with the ongoing employment culture issue.

After that, I do think Lucifer Ogilvie is a good idea, so I am going to run with that whilst I do the shoes.  I think any actual contact will have to wait for next year once that is done.

I may make you a few films though, now that I have mended the broken director.

Have fun, my little cabbage,

Ina

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No thanks

“You see the real problem is that you are too bright, too experienced, too fat to be dated without some questions being asked and you don’t seem to be sufficiently ashamed to be kept in your place. You need to understand that you are nothing, you will always be nothing, because if you are nothing we feel like we are something. That is the real reason.”

Nobody will actually ever say that, of course, they will continue to invent mansplaining reasons why I am never to be given a break and why being bereaved simply means I am open to more abuse from increasingly stupid people.

I would like to encounter somebody who is actually capable of resolving problems, not more blaming me and moving on with substandard and unfair behaviour. The real shame is that I am still vulnerable to this bullshit.

I am tired of listening to stories about other people’s problems.  I would like the problems other people have caused me to be resolved and I would like some assurance that there will be no repeat of behaviour like this ever. It is not acceptable.

This is looking increasingly unlikely, and I have rarely, if ever, been surprised.  I watched two unrelated groups of nurses make assumptions and murder my mother to demonstrate that this is how the world works.

Not surprisingly I have very low expectations, and they are getting lower by the day.

I don’t see why I should be an enabler of stuff like this.

I’m tired of being told that people with twenty years less work experience are worthy of deciding what I can and cannot do for a living, and I am tired of people who cannot read a CV, never mind make judgements on who does what.

I am tired of no nice surprises.

I am tired of caring.

 

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Permission to think

You shouldn’t need it.  Sometimes you do.

Hopefully he will feel a bit better.  It’seems not like he is remotely serious. Probably just in shock.

In the meantime, I am repairing years of physical damage by corsetting up.  Walking about 9 miles a day and back to liquid  rather than eating which clearly does me no good at all.

I am apparently inspired by letting Staring Brat 2 out of thought jail.

It’s not  like he will do anything about it.  Men are endlessly predictable, with few to no exceptions.

So worry not, I haven’t turned into a cougar just yet.

 

Not back at fighting weight by a long shot.

 

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I really don’t think so

Unless you grow the fuck up and learn to think for yourself.

I have absolutely no confidence in you at all.

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Time to rebuild Ina

It may be a false alarm, but I got a day off from Staring Brat 2 today.  Perhaps the English wife managed to persuade him to concentrate on producing some tiresome kids instead.

I was chatting to a friend about something else, and found myself saying this was all these people were likely to do with their lives, so my interest in what they are doing is extremely limited.

Why?  People go through their life stages in the order they do because they are told to conform.

Born, childish when children, teenage rebellion, getting a job, getting married, having kids, feeling old, then becoming old and dying.

It simply does not occur to people that there is an alternative to this.  They persist in watching TV and they are told what to want, what to buy and what the expectations are at their age.

I am very glad that I was born to a father that questioned everything.  I definitely got that gene.  I am not sure how the other three managed to miss that small point.

Even telling people about the risks associated with a brand of water has caused the fear recently.  I informed someone at work about the heavy metal content of a popular brand, and was met with slight contempt.  People who conform are so conditioned to accept that anything branded is what it says it is that showing them how many lies they are told is actually hazardous.

Amusingly, this manifested in Twisty this week, when he unexpectedly came across a Wolfe video.

“He looked – juicy.  He must be on some sort of drug.”

“Yeah, probably a health food related drug.  The dude eats well.”  I replied.

Twisty witnessed me losing 160lb and pretended not to notice.  He then witnessed my mother going from death’s door to as well as she possibly could be whilst the NHS continued to hound me as a witch for burning and he still thinks the NHS are there to heal people.

I dragged him back here, because his health was again in decline, and restarted pineapple, mullein and coffee.  He is now able to sleep again.  When is he going to take the hint?  He has been witnessing my little miracles for years now.

People believe whatever shit they want to believe.  They are a waste of time as a rule.

The website has been rather battered by the nasty stuff that has happened over the last few months.  Without the pests at the previous company, there are very few regulars left.

So, it is time to again rebuild Ina, and see what can be done to reverse this sad trend.  I was rather upset by this last episode, and only just made it out for a walk yesterday.  When I looked in the mirror today I looked as if I had been battered.

This leads me to the conclusion that people are to be ignored rather than being deserving of any care or affection.  This is a gift from Staring Brat 2, which he imparted via the lies of omission and general maliciousness, however I am glad that my core is now freezing cold. It will make it much easier in the weeks ahead.

 

 

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