Dwight Longenecker's Blog, page 346

A Solution for Atheist Clergy

Robert Piggott reports here about the Dutch Protestant clergy who are atheists and agnostics. What amuses me about such articles by English journalists is how very serious they all are about such nonsense.



I remember studying at Oxford and Cambridge and reading some of the radical theologians of the time--Don Cuppitt and Maurice Wiles and other Myth of God Incarnate guys. What a load of intellectual claptrap they all talked with their serious expressions, their anguished pondering and their ingrown existentialist angst...



I remember John Drury at Cambridge in his weedy voice going on about 'the darkness of God' or some such. He was basically equating his own loss of faith with the dark night of the soul. How ridiculously self righteous and pompous can you get?



Their talk was along these lines: "I think I would want to say that in some sort of way that is not seeking to be dogmatic of course that one could speak of God (as it were) in a method that was at once subjective and existential in its language and yet at the same time objective and 'out there'. This objectivity of course would be be dependent on the subjective and spring from it so that in a very real sense one could say that God (if such a concept is not too outmoded) could be said in some very real sense to reside within the longings of each human being and what are these longings? If we unpack this we would come to see that these longings are, I think, be the longings for acceptance, yes, certainly acceptance and with this an understanding in the civil forum of equal rights for all and then there might be a sense in which one could say or at least propose a concept of human love whatever that may be in which that longing for union or unity with another somehow reflected what has traditionally been referred to as divine love although it would be difficult to define this in any real sense apart from the appreciation one might have for, example a fine work of art or a glass of claret after a particularly good dinner at high table."



And on and on. You get the idea. The fact that these Protestant ministers still draw their paycheck is outrageous, and the fact that their people fund the paycheck is even more ludicrous. The problem is many of the established Protestant churches are funded by a European church tax. You sign up on the tax form what your religion is and the government takes ten bucks or so and it all mounts up and the local Protestant atheist minister still gets his stipend.



These guys need a wake up call. I suggest the Dutch Reformed Church establish a clergy sharing arrangement with some of the Protestant outfits here in the Deep South.  That would shake them up. The hillbilly Christians over here wouldn't stand for that sort of fraudulent nonsense. Might even make the Rev'd Gert Netterlander handle a rattlesnake or two to see if he has 'the anointing' or not...



Meantime Pastor Ronny Hawkins could take over Rev'd Gert's church in Holland and shoot the gospel gun, thump a few Bibles, rumble out the old time religion teach them to sing all eight verses of Just As I am Without One Plea, have a few altar calls and get them folks saved.

Wadamigonnado?

My dear friends, I'm sorry to be a complainer, but I really am blogged out. Once again I'm lacking in inspiration and motivation and I'm about to close down the blog. Then my boy comes home from camp and tells me that not only does his counselor at camp read my blog, but so does his Catholic room mate and furthermore, he reads out all the alter egos with special voices.



So here is someone who likes my blog so much he does Caitlin O'Rourke for his college buddies?



I have to keep going. I just hope I find where I left my muse.

Truth and Air

What am I doing today? Trying hard to get a little window of time to do some writing. Sorry not much blogging of late. It's because I'm getting a new edition of Adventures in Orthodoxy ready. It will have a new title, a new publisher and a new cover. The new title is The Quest for the Creed--twenty explosive essays on the Apostle's Creed.



My new editor is the brilliant John Zmirak and the new publisher--Herder Crossroads. For the new edition I'm writing short pieces to kick start each of the chapters.



Here's the one on the chapter about 'he shall come again to judge the living and the dead'



   If there is such a thing as truth then it must be something, like air, which is outside myself and inside myself at the same time. If truth is only inside me, then it can only be understood by my own inner responses: what I think and what I feel: my thoughts and emotions. If what determines my truth is merely my own thoughts and emotions, then truth is fickle because not only do my thoughts and emotions contradict those of other people, they often contradict themselves. So I sometimes think and feel that chastity and temperance and self control are good and other times I think that lust and gluttony and drunkenness are better. Therefore truth must be outside me as well as inside me. In other words, there has to be some greater standard for what is true (and therefore for what is right and wrong) than my own inner thoughts and emotions. I have to have some external standard to go by. Now, where that standard comes from is what is most interesting. Where does that external standard for what is true, what is beautiful, what is good and right originate? It must originate in a mind that is greater than mine. If there is such a thing as external truth, then there is also such a thing as choice. I can choose to align my own 'truth' with The Truth. Or I can choose not to. This element of choice is at the heart of what we mean by judgment. Judgment is choice, and when we say that Christ will come to judge the living and the dead you could say he is coming to exercise his choice between who will live forever and who will die forever. How he makes that choice is what is intriguing. I, for one, think his choice is rather simple and revolutionary: he chooses what we have already chosen. His judgment confirms our own choices--and there's a fearful thought!

Was it a Miracle?

I was in my late twenties and had just been ordained as an Anglican priest. I had gone to England with nothing but a borrowed $1,000.00 and faith, believing that God wanted me to be an Anglican priest. It was an adventure living by faith and when I graduated and was ordained all my education bills were paid.



Now I was living in a clergy house with a salary and a car and my younger brother came to live with me. One day I said that it was boring now having a car and a salary and a house. I remember what it was like to live by faith. He said, "Then why don't you give away half your salary and live by faith again?"



So I did. Then he said, "By the way, I've seen that more people are going to come and live in your house so you're going to really have to live by faith." Sure enough, a group of guys came to live there in a kind of informal religious community. Some of them had jobs and contributed to the housekeeping. Others didn't. They were in their twenties. They were hungry.



So my brother started to get up early and bake bread. He went to the local bakery and bought a large forty pound bag of flour. The baker asked him how much bread he was going to bake and he guessed it would run out by September. He told my brother that he would have to use up the flour before September or it would get weevils. We didn't have much money and my brother made more loaves of bread than he had planned. Some days he would make two or three loaves and we ate it very fast. Warm, fresh baked bread is delicious.



By the end of November my brother said, "You know, I just notice that flour hasn't run out, and it doesn't have weevils, and I've been making about twice the amount of bread I thought I was going to.



When did the flour run out? When one of the other boys got a job and we had enough money to buy another sack of flour. Did we have a miracle of the multiplication of the flour? To this day I believe we did, although we didn't have proof.



Sometimes people say to me, "Boy, that's amazing! I wish I could experience a miracle like that!" Maybe you could, but you'd have to give away half of your salary (for starters)...and even then there's no guarantee. Living by faith is a risky business and the risks are great and who knows what will happen when you step out of the boat to walk on the waves?



Something will happen for sure, but you don't know what, and all you do know when you jump is that "underneath are the everlasting arms."

Not a Fundamentalist

Go here for William Oddie's comments on the fact that Norwegian killer Anders Breivik linked to my blog.

Catholic Quartet

Speaking of Catholic and Protestant musical traditions, does anybody out there share my appreciation for the old time gospel quartets? I used to love that stuff. I think it came down from the Barbershop Quartet tradition, then got all mixed up with soul and gospel and country music. They always had this tenor who would show off singing the high notes like some kind of crazy woman on pep pills. Then they would shift over to the bass who would go way down deep and sing the notes that were so low they sounded like a tiger purring.



I think we need a good Catholic Gospel Quartet to help evangelize. It could be called The Evangelists-Matthew, Mark, Luke and John. They'd go around the country singing in churches and sharing the gospel and perhaps have a traveling display of relics or some such. They'd do quartet arrangements of Hail Holy Queen and Faith of Our Fathers and Holy God we Praise Thy Name and all that old Catholic stuff. Of course they'd have to have matching suits and short hair cuts with pompadours and a smiling honky tonk piano player with big hair...



I think it could be a genuine hit.

Why Won't Catholics Sing Hymns?

I don't mind the odd mystery in church, but there's one I can't seem to solve. Why is it that Catholics won't sing hymns at Mass? I have to admit it, the Protestants have this fantastic tradition of singing hymns. They've got their great gospel choirs, gospel quartets and little singing groups.



They've got this whole tradition of singing their hearts out for Jesus, so why, despite my best efforts do Catholics refuse to sing? Why do they remain with arms crossed, mouths closed and hymnbooks resolutely remaining in the pew?



Here are some of the proposed answers, but I don't buy any of them.



1. Catholics don't sing at Mass because the hymns are all goopy, modernist, sentimental trash about walking on the beach with Jesus and eagles and 'gathering together'. These hymns are usually unsuitable to be sung by a congregation, and nobody knows them, so people just don't sing. Partially true, but not all the contemporary hymns are awful, and for goodness sake, why don't they know them when they've been sung over and over again since the 1970s? After all, at least they are easy to listen to and not difficult theologically or linguistically. So why won't they sing?



2. Catholics don't sing at Mass because the hymns are all archaic, incomprehensible, overly theological Victorian lyrics put to thumping old hymn tunes that nobody likes and nobody knows. Just the opposite to number one. They don't sing modern hymns, but they also don't sing the old hymns. They don't know them? Come on. Not even old standbys like 'Now Thank We All Our God' or 'Alleluia Sing to Jesus'?



3. Catholics don't sing because they're all Irish and the Irish considered hymn singing to be a Protestant, Anglican Methodist sort of thing so they reacted against it and never learned to sing hymns at Mass. Nonsense. Not all American Catholics are of Irish descent and why would a cultural argument which was perhaps appropriate 50 or 100 years ago still remain in America today? Besides its not just the Irish American Catholics who don't sing hymns. Nobody does. Are we to believe that the Irish revulsion at hymns somehow infected the Mexicans, the Poles, the Italians and the Nigerians?



4. Catholics don't sing because singing is a girly, arty farty kind of thing for sissies and Catholicism is more manly. Errr. Then why don't the Catholic women sing either?



5. Catholics don't sing hymns because they still don't know how to participate at Mass. They think  Mass is something you go and watch like you do a play at a theater. Maybe, but then they do tend to respond to the people's parts of the Mass pretty well and they often sing the Mass setting well.



6. Catholics don't sing hymns because they're a hard hearted bunch who don't really love Jesus. Hmm. No doubt that applies to some Catholics, but not all. In fact most of the people I know who go to Mass regularly love Jesus pretty much. Sorry, that won't stick either.



7. Catholics don't like to use books and hymn sheets to read words. They like to respond with the stuff they have memorized. That's why they'll sing one verse of 'Faith of Our Fathers' or 'Holy God We Praise Thy Name" but nothing else. That's interesting. Maybe we should just sing the same four hymns over and over until they memorize them. But is that really the case? They are happy to pick up the bulletin and read it (often during the homily...)





8. Hymn singing is essentially Protestant. Catholics have an instinct against it. That instinct has to do with the nature of liturgical worship. They sense that the hymn somehow doesn't fit with the action of the liturgy so they just instinctively opt out. They don't mean to be negative or not to participate, they are just participating more by listening and watching and paying attention to God's presence in a nice contemplative, laid back way. So what's wrong with that? Hmm. Maybe you've got something there. Then again, maybe you don't. Maybe what you think is them being 'contemplative' is not contemplative but complacent.



9. Nobody ever taught these people how to sing. They're shy. They're insecure about singing. Protestants are brought up with singing hymns all the time. They're used to it. Nonsense. Everybody can sing. I mean there are a few people who sound either like a cat scratching a chalkboard or a drunk bullfrog, but most people can sing. Look around at the ball game. People sing the national anthem and pep songs well enough.



10. Hymns are emotional. Catholics don't like public displays of affection. They're more reserved and they don't go in for all that 'me and Jesus' emotional stuff. C'mon. The hymns they do sing are very emotional--sentimental even. Take the Lourdes hymn or Hail Holy Queen. These are emotional and Catholics sing them well enough, and the modern hymns they do like (Amazing Grace and Eagles Wings) are very emotional.





11. Catholics know deep down that the Mass is not the place to sing hymns. Their refusal to sing is their unconscious way of telling the priest to stop foisting hymns on them all the time and to simply have the choir sing the Introit, Gradual and Offertory and have a decent organ with a fine organist play grand music to walk in and out by. Now that would be radical! Scrap the hymn singing schtick altogether and do what the rubrics say? Actually have a choir or schola to sing the Introit, the Psalm, the Gradual and the Offertory? If we did that you know  what would happen?



Everyone would say, "Father I really miss not singing hymns at Mass. When are you going to bring hymn singing back..."

Chust for Nice

Another in my series on Romanesque architecture. Why is Padre gung ho on Romanesque? Because the new Our Lady of the Rosary Church is going to be built in a Romanesque style. What is so great about Romansque? Well, it's a beautiful transitional stage of architecture which grew from the more solid and monolithic Byzantine style predominant in the East. It is more of the Western Church in the early Middle Ages, and begins to have the height and light of Gothic while still retaining the austere simplicity of the Byzantine.

Summer Book Sale

Don't forget the annual summer book sale is going on now. You get either a $5.00 rebate on the book you order or I will send you a free copy of my little book How to Be an Ordinary Hero.



Order more than one book and you receive a $3.00 rebate on every extra book.



All you do is order normally through my website and add a note that you are taking advantage of the summer book sale and let me know if you would like the $5.00 rebate or free book.



I'm blogging about the books this week, talking a bit about why I wrote them and what they aim to accomplish.

Todd on Marriage

Guest blogger Todd Unctuous is top commentator for MSM. With a degree in Media Studies from Scranton Community College, Todd writes for many papers and websites, and is known for his incisive writing, objective reporting and razor sharp comment.







Marriage is one of humanity's great institutions, and as the father of the bride usually says in his wedding speech, "Who wants to live in an institution?" All joking aside, I am myself a great supporter of the institution of marriage. I have been married three times and found each one of those experiences to be fulfilling and enjoyable.



It is with great joy, therefore, that I witnessed last month in the State of New York the marriage of two of my friends. My ex wife Nancy and her English partner Georgie Samsonite finally tied the knot. As you may have guessed, Georgie is a delightful Englishwoman. With her tweed jackets and jodhpurs she cuts a dash on the riding circuit, and when they first met at the English pub in downtown Manhattan Nancy was smitten. "It was the way Georgie puffed on that pipe and dropped Oscar Wilde one liners that really killed me," Nancy enthused.



There was not a dry eye in the Justice of the Peace office when Nancy and Georgie finally made it formal. Some of the tears, however, were not tears of joy. Nancy is a devout Catholic and she knew her so called 'Christian fellowship' would reject her new choice in marriage. They say that their faith is all about love and tolerance, but there was no love and tolerance for Nancy and Georgie on their special day. And where, I may ask, has the American tradition of freedom of religion gone? There was no freedom of religion for Nancy and Georgie on their wedding day. Instead Georgie (who is Church of England) arranged for a wonderful service of blessing in the local Episcopal Cathedral. It was truly a rainbow event with all of Nancy and Georgie's collection of delightfully eccentric friends present. I was privileged to meet Gene-- a friend of Georgie's who turned out to be the Episcopal Bishop of New Hampshire. Everyone was calling him 'Vickie' and having a terrific time together.



In conversation with Gene I began to realize is that marriage is a cultural construct. We make marriage. It doesn't make us. We define marriage by who we are, not by who someone else expects us to be. Marriage, after all, is built around the beautiful love we have for one another. Therefore, who do these religious fundamentalists think they are to restrict marriage to one man and one woman for life? This is not love. This is a sentence of life imprisonment. Can true love be so restricted by man made rules? No. Surely love is free, not bound by man made rules and regulations. That homosexual couples should wish to find new expressions of marriage is surely a good and wholesome thing.



At the wedding reception I happened to share a table with a delightful threesome. Eddie and Flo had been trapped in a conventional marriage when Eddie realized he was bi-sexual and fell in love with Steve. Instead of leaving Flo, Eddie invited Steve to move in to their home and before long Flo realized that she was also in love with Steve. They described their open relationship as 'polyamory' and explained that the three of them were hopelessly and happily in love with each other. I must admit that I had tears welling up in my own eyes as I witnessed their true happiness. They gazed at one another constantly and Eddie said, in a moment of rare impassioned candor, "I don't see why this beautiful love we have couldn't be expanded further. What if Flo meets a wonderful person and a fourth might join us?" Steve joined in quietly and said, "And why couldn't we all get married? After all, we love one another and all we ask is to have our love blessed."



Which leads me to the case of the notorious polygamist in Texas named Warren Jeff. Here is a man who has trampled on the sacred institution of marriage by having multiple wives in his disgusting Mormon harem. Who does he think he is defining marriage according to his own terms? Marriage is an institution established by the government in order to control the beastly urgings of men like Jeff. What is worse is that he seeks to invoke God's blessing on his cult like 'family'. It is just like the religious fundamentalists to make up their own rules, bring in religion and demand that everyone else accept their strange beliefs and repugnant customs. Then they demand "religious freedom" and would force the noble laws of this land into new and strange configurations just to please themselves. When will this intolerable tyranny of the few over the majority cease? When will the forces of law and order crack down on the intolerance and bigotry and decadence of people like Warren Jeff who flaunt the law and re-make marriage according to their own whims?



The problem in all of this is religion. I am not myself a religious man, but I respect those who are devoutly religious like Jane Fonda and my ex wife Nancy and her new partner Georgie. I would stand up and defend the freedom of religion with my dying breath,  however it is the religious fundamentalists like Warren Jeff and the Pope in Rome and the Taliban in Iraq who give religion a bad name. The sooner they default on their debts and go out of business the better it will be for those who wish to live by a higher creed of tolerance and admiration for all. This could, of course, be brought more speedily to the right conclusion by having their tax exempt status revoked. Why should the American tax payer subsidize homophobic, polygamous and bigoted groups?  Why should old, out of touch white men like Warren Jeff and the Pope in Rome get special treatment?



The persecution of homosexual people is the same as the segregation of the African Americans. They supported slavery with verses from the Bible too. This prejudice and injustice in the name of religion must be stopped--even if force is necessary.



Todd Unctuous is 42.



For more information on Todd Unctious and his illustrious career go here.