Renee Hoekstra's Blog
August 26, 2013
Do cartoon elephants really exist?
Cartoon elephants do, indeed, exist. The question is whether or not you believe in the existence of your own elephants. In truth, life will be much harder for you if you go around pretending that you don’t really actually feel the way you feel.
It can be that other people have worked hard to convince you that cartoon elephants do not exist- and that you have started to believe them. For example, someone might be saying, “You shouldn’t feel that way! No one else feels that way. I don’t care what you have to say about it. Talking about your own reactions is not an option.”
In reality, cartoon elephants do not go away because people ignore them, criticize them, or attack them.
Paying attention to your cartoon elephants means doing some hard work of figuring out what, exactly, is being felt. It is certainly possible that your cartoon elephants are right there, trying to get your attention. Perhaps there have been so many barriers to their discovery that ignoring them takes twice as much effort as figuring out what they are trying to tell you.
In reality, it is extremely difficult to collect cartoon elephant data. It is even more difficult to collect cartoon elephant data when people don’t believe cartoon elephants exist. Your emotions are there: Alive, present, and real.
Stop pretending they are not.
It can be that other people have worked hard to convince you that cartoon elephants do not exist- and that you have started to believe them. For example, someone might be saying, “You shouldn’t feel that way! No one else feels that way. I don’t care what you have to say about it. Talking about your own reactions is not an option.”
In reality, cartoon elephants do not go away because people ignore them, criticize them, or attack them.
Paying attention to your cartoon elephants means doing some hard work of figuring out what, exactly, is being felt. It is certainly possible that your cartoon elephants are right there, trying to get your attention. Perhaps there have been so many barriers to their discovery that ignoring them takes twice as much effort as figuring out what they are trying to tell you.
In reality, it is extremely difficult to collect cartoon elephant data. It is even more difficult to collect cartoon elephant data when people don’t believe cartoon elephants exist. Your emotions are there: Alive, present, and real.
Stop pretending they are not.
July 28, 2013
Can cartoon elephants really help you solve emotional problems?
According to artist, author, and psychologist Dr. Renee Hoekstra, elephants are on the move.
Consider the many ways in which elephants fit the metaphor for emotions: The elephant in the room, sensitive elephants without a skin, the vague heaviness of elephants, the elephant that’s hard to figure out, and the myriad of problematic elephant situations (being chased, trampled, stuck beneath an elephant’s foot, or having elephants run away with you).
Dr. Hoekstra started her book on cartoon elephants about five years ago when she was trying to figure out creative and playful ways to teach the emotion regulation skills using the content from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (a treatment that helps people figure out problematic emotions). She figured she would bring some fun into teaching by drawing pictures of elephants on the dry erase board. The visualization of the relationships clients were having with their emotions was a starting point for not only “getting it” but also showing options for solving emotional problems. She started to sketch out her elephants on paper, which eventually led to the publication of The Emotional Extremist’s Guide to Handling Cartoon Elephants: How to solve elephantine emotional problems without getting run over, chased, flattened, squished, or abandoned by your true cartoons, published in April and making its debut in late May of 2013.
The book incorporates many elements of current best practices for addressing painful emotions, including mindfulness and acceptance. It also visualizes what everyone can relate to- because everyone at some point gets really stuck with emotions. The first part of the book is devoted to the basics for solving elephantine problems. Subsequent chapters in the book include tips for getting out from underneath an elephant’s foot, what to do when cartoon elephants end up on your back, what to do when you encounter cartoon rhinoceroses, and what to do when your cartoon elephant turns blue.
Child psychiatrist Beth Brownlow was excited when she first saw the book, and was one of the first to endorse it. “Dr. Hoekstra has illuminated a mindful approach to psychological suffering, incorporating best practices with a captivating cartoon book showing us exactly how it’s done.” When Dr. Hoekstra started showing it to people, they immediately started talking about who needed the book. “They’d say things like, ‘I need to show this to my sister’, or ‘That’s exactly what it’s like for me’, or ‘I have to send this book to someone I know’. People want to be able to talk about problems without shame, and the elephants add humor in making painful experiences approachable.”
Dr. Hoekstra started to blog about the elephants a few years ago, but didn’t realize the challenges it would actually take the get the book in print. First, she had to figure out how to get the elephants into the computer. Then she had to figure out the best publishing option. When she thought she was finished with the book, she started to show it to people- and realized more feedback was necessary in making the book what it needed to be. Finally- after having a vision of the book for such a long time- she decided to take on the challenge of doing her own graphic design. She likes to remind people that making big life changes and projects take multiple efforts and persistence, and that any big goal takes a series of smaller steps. “This book would often sit for months at a time untouched. I remember walking into bookstores and having this sense that there are already so many good books out there. Everyone else was able to get their book out there, and I would get overwhelmed with everything I needed to do to get this book into print.”
What can the elephants do for you? A picture is worth a thousand words- especially when you’re trying to have those dreaded conversations. The thing about the elephant book is that people can relate to it. Who doesn’t need a creative and clever book to help facilitate the discussion of what everyone is trying to avoid? Certainly it helps when you know the book is going to make you laugh.
Dr. Renee Hoekstra is in private practice in the greater Boston area and provides individual and group treatment to adults and adolescents. You can find out more about the elephant book, read the elephant blogs, see cartoon elephants online, see what people are saying about the book, and purchase the book at www.cartoonelephantbook.com. You can also find her at www.reneehoekstra.com.
Consider the many ways in which elephants fit the metaphor for emotions: The elephant in the room, sensitive elephants without a skin, the vague heaviness of elephants, the elephant that’s hard to figure out, and the myriad of problematic elephant situations (being chased, trampled, stuck beneath an elephant’s foot, or having elephants run away with you).
Dr. Hoekstra started her book on cartoon elephants about five years ago when she was trying to figure out creative and playful ways to teach the emotion regulation skills using the content from Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (a treatment that helps people figure out problematic emotions). She figured she would bring some fun into teaching by drawing pictures of elephants on the dry erase board. The visualization of the relationships clients were having with their emotions was a starting point for not only “getting it” but also showing options for solving emotional problems. She started to sketch out her elephants on paper, which eventually led to the publication of The Emotional Extremist’s Guide to Handling Cartoon Elephants: How to solve elephantine emotional problems without getting run over, chased, flattened, squished, or abandoned by your true cartoons, published in April and making its debut in late May of 2013.
The book incorporates many elements of current best practices for addressing painful emotions, including mindfulness and acceptance. It also visualizes what everyone can relate to- because everyone at some point gets really stuck with emotions. The first part of the book is devoted to the basics for solving elephantine problems. Subsequent chapters in the book include tips for getting out from underneath an elephant’s foot, what to do when cartoon elephants end up on your back, what to do when you encounter cartoon rhinoceroses, and what to do when your cartoon elephant turns blue.
Child psychiatrist Beth Brownlow was excited when she first saw the book, and was one of the first to endorse it. “Dr. Hoekstra has illuminated a mindful approach to psychological suffering, incorporating best practices with a captivating cartoon book showing us exactly how it’s done.” When Dr. Hoekstra started showing it to people, they immediately started talking about who needed the book. “They’d say things like, ‘I need to show this to my sister’, or ‘That’s exactly what it’s like for me’, or ‘I have to send this book to someone I know’. People want to be able to talk about problems without shame, and the elephants add humor in making painful experiences approachable.”
Dr. Hoekstra started to blog about the elephants a few years ago, but didn’t realize the challenges it would actually take the get the book in print. First, she had to figure out how to get the elephants into the computer. Then she had to figure out the best publishing option. When she thought she was finished with the book, she started to show it to people- and realized more feedback was necessary in making the book what it needed to be. Finally- after having a vision of the book for such a long time- she decided to take on the challenge of doing her own graphic design. She likes to remind people that making big life changes and projects take multiple efforts and persistence, and that any big goal takes a series of smaller steps. “This book would often sit for months at a time untouched. I remember walking into bookstores and having this sense that there are already so many good books out there. Everyone else was able to get their book out there, and I would get overwhelmed with everything I needed to do to get this book into print.”
What can the elephants do for you? A picture is worth a thousand words- especially when you’re trying to have those dreaded conversations. The thing about the elephant book is that people can relate to it. Who doesn’t need a creative and clever book to help facilitate the discussion of what everyone is trying to avoid? Certainly it helps when you know the book is going to make you laugh.
Dr. Renee Hoekstra is in private practice in the greater Boston area and provides individual and group treatment to adults and adolescents. You can find out more about the elephant book, read the elephant blogs, see cartoon elephants online, see what people are saying about the book, and purchase the book at www.cartoonelephantbook.com. You can also find her at www.reneehoekstra.com.
