B.R. Myers's Blog, page 22

In Defence of Romance in YA

Romeo & Juliet
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At my latest 'YA only' book club meeting, we were discussing our favourite novels that we'd read over the Christmas holidays. See the list at the end of this post for our top picks!

We got on the topic of how we'd like to see stronger friendships for the main character to develop in addition to the love interest. “There's romance, of course,” someone had said, “but you can't escape that in YA.”

Everyone nodded and then the conversation progressed to the next novel on the list. But I couldn't stop thinking about that one particular comment. It wasn't said with a negative intonation, but it wasn't a compliment either.

“You can't escape romance in YA.”

Sometimes, as adults, we forgot how different our brain worked as a teenager. I remember my entire happiness riding on the simplest decision. And don't get me started on bad hair. A whole day could be ruined by a wayward curl. That is, until the guy you've secretly been crushing on for two months, finally smiled at you in history class and let you borrow his pen.

In high school, I was terribly average in every way. I wasn't fashionable, athletic or an outstanding student. Reading was my escape. It was a place where I could be the smart, stylish girl who was brilliant on the soccer field.

YA was limited back then—not the cornucopia of selection today. Thank God for Judy Blume or I'd be stuck reading Sweet Valley High over and over again. I discovered Lois Duncan and then branched off into Ray Bradbury and Stephen King.

And even in these genres of horror and mystery, there was still romance. The protagonist always had someone they were in love with or were falling in love with—there was someone worth fighting for.

“You can't escape romance in YA.”

You can't escape mystery, humour, horror, fantasy, or science fiction in YA either.

But why is the romantic element viewed differently?

Would The Fault in Our Stars be more compelling if Hazel hadn't fallen in love with Augustus?

Um...no way! A female protagonist motivated by love isn't weak or boring; she's genuine and compassionate.

One of my favourite books is The Republic of Love by Canadian author, Carol Shields (Pulitzer Prize winner). It's told from the view points of both Fay, a folklorist whose passion for mermaids has kept her from focusing on any one man, and Tom, a popular radio talk-show host, who has been married and divorced three times.

When they finally meet at the mid-point of the book, they fall in love at first sight.

'But Fay's noticed something she's never noticed before. That love is not, anywhere, taken seriously. It's not respected. It's the one thing in the world everyone wants—she's convinced of that—but for some reason people are obligated to pretend that love is trifling and foolish.'

“You can't escape romance in YA.”

What about Romeo and Juliet? Do you think anyone took Shakespeare aside and told him Juliet seemed weak because she was consumed by her love for Romeo?

So far in the last four hundred years, no one's mentioned romance ruined the story.

Recently, Alice Munro (another Canadian author) won the Nobel Prize for Literature. In the presentation speech, Professor Peter Englund said, “Over the years, numerous prominent scientists have received their well deserved awards in this auditorium for having solved some of the greatest enigmas of the universe or our material of existence. But you, dear Alice Munro, like few others, have come close to solving the greatest mystery of all; the human heart and its caprices."

“You can't escape romance in YA.”

Here, here, I say!

And in honour of romance, check out this post on how to write a simply head over heels, swoony worthy, kissing scene.

Awesome YA titles highly recommended by a bunch of smart bookish people


The Bone Season by Samantha Shannon


Picture Me Gone by Meg Rosoff

Small as an Elephant by Jennifer Richard Jacobson

Sorrow's Knot by Erin Bow

Undercurrent by Paul Blackwell

Hemlock by Kathleen Peacock




What are your views on romance in YA?

The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 2, "Boobs, Blindfolds and Bathroom Breakdowns"

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Claire is chosen to go on the first solo date with Juan. It's a surprise so he blind folds her and puts her into the car. The other girls scream and ooze with jealousy.

Yeah, because we all want to be kidnapped.

She tells us, “He smells like heaven in a bottle.”

Here's a tip, if you find yourself abducted and locked in the trunk of a car, unscrew the tail light and the car will be pulled over by the police.

Anyway, he takes her sledding in a make shift private winter park.

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She says, “This is a fairy tale and it feels unreal.”

That's because it is, Claire.

Back at the mansion, Lucy walks around topless and tells the girls she'd prefer a group date because that would give her the chance to stand out.

The naked boobs should help.

After an hour in winter wonderland, Juan says, “I can feel myself having a nice life with Claire and Carmella.”

It's important that he takes his time considering his daughter's future.

*Cue the hot tub scene*

Claire gives Juan a back rub and starts to talk about her late dad and how she closed off herself emotionally after he died.

Awkward.

She says her dad would be happy for her. You know, sitting in a hot tub on prime time television entered in a contest with other women for the same guy.

Juan gives her the date rose and they make out. She tells him he tastes like snow.

Not yellow snow, I hope.

Then she says to us, “If this is the beginning of our love story, I can't wait to see what happens next.”

Oh, I can tell you, he'll have a date with someone else.

Some dude with a guitar and a piano accompaniment gives them a private concert in the middle of the fake snow park.

Gag.

*Hits fast forward*

                                                                        

Kat is next on the solo date. They catch a private jet and she wonders which romantic destination he's taking her to; Miami? New York?

Nope.

He hands her a fluorescent tracksuit complete with glow in the dark goggles. They will be running in the electric 5K race with dance music and thousands of other people.

Totally romantic.

Kat says, “There's definitely electricity in the air and there's definitely a future for us.”

And there's definitely more footage to fast forward through.

*Hits fast forward*

There's a concert at the finish line. The audience is full of women. Juan and Kat are called up on stage where he gives her the date rose in front of all those screaming women.

She says, “I can't think of a better way to start a relationship.”

Certainly not talking about your similar interests.

The next day, group date includes thirteen of the girls.

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Victoria, a legal assistant, gives us this wisdom, “All of these girls want to date Juan Pablo so it could turn into a horror show.”

Oh, it will, Victoria, it will.

Lauren, the music composer tells us, “Juan looks so hot. He's showing his arms and he's wearing blue.”

Wow, she should write lyrics too.

The girls are scheduled to do a photo shoot with Juan and...puppies.

*Cue the giggling and cooing*

Kelly, a professional dog lover, is in heaven. That is until she finds out she's being put in a bald wig and painted to look like an actual dog.

Lucy, the nudist free spirit who doesn't own shoes, worries she might get poop on the sandals she had to borrow from one of the other girls. Ironically, she gets a costume that make her look like a huge fire hydrant.

Andi, the lawyer, and Elsie get assigned a costume that is only a sign.

What a great group date idea, Juan! Forcing women to pose practically naked for pictures.

Elsie, a first grade teacher, tries to talk to the director and he tells her to suck it up. She sees Lucy and asks if the free spirit would like to trade costumes. Lucy goes for it of course, and even takes her dog around the block totally nude just for practice.

Renee, the single mom, got the best costume and snuggled up with Juan in her evening dress and diamonds.

Andi is freaking out about going in the raw. Juan puts an arm around her and says he's going to be naked too. “Trust me it's going to be fine,” he assures her.

If I had a nickel for every time a guy said that to me before our nude photo shoot...

Juan, Andi and Lucy do the pose, all three naked with dogs strategically placed. After the shoot, Andi is relieved and empowered. Lucy nods back at her like Yoda to Luke when he was Jedi training.

The group date moves to the evening portion complete with a roof top pool and lots of booze.

Cassandra, the former NBA dancer, tells Juan she has a son. He's all giggly and cute about it.

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Renee is next and there's more kid talk. Then there's cuddling with the sky line in the background. She talks about how close they snuggled during their photo shoot, but they don't get any closer.

Everyone is enjoying the wine, and Victoria is already slurring. “I'm not drunk,” she tells the other girls. “I'm fun sober. And I want to straddle Juan everyday.”

Okay.

Juan tells us, “Nikki is cute and she's a nurse. She takes care of kids. I want to get to know Nikki.”

Where is the library? This chicken is delicious. Oh, sorry. I thought we were in language class.

Victoria puts on her bikini and spends some quality hot tub time—by herself. Soon she's upset that Juan is spending all his time talking with Nikki. She deals with this by going to the bathroom and crying on the floor and yelling at Renee for trying to help her.

She makes for the elevator. The producers try to convince her to at least put some clothes on. She returns to the bathroom and continues to cry on the floor.

Hey, I can't judge. I react the same way when the grocery store runs out of Lucky Charms.

Concerned, Juan goes into the bathroom to try and reason with her, but she is in full out wacko sooky pants mode.

Juan gives the date rose to Kelly because she had to wear all that weird body makeup and was such a good sport about it. Then he asks the girls to make sure Victoria gets back to the mansion safely so he can talk to her tomorrow.

Charlane says, “Why is he so perfect?”

Exactly! Just like I thought, Juan is a robot.

Victoria actually spends the night in the hotel. All the girls back at the mansion say they feel sad for her, but secretly they're all happy.

When Juan visits Victoria the next morning this is how it goes.

Victoria: “When I'm happy I'm really happy, and when I'm sad I'm really sad...”

Juan: blinks

Victoria: “I guess I should apologize?”

Juan: “How are you feeling now?”

Victoria: “I don't want a guy I'm going to be dating see me cry.”

Juan: blinks

Victoria: “I might have had too much to drink...?”

Juan tells her he accepts her apology, but he's thirty-two with a child to think of and he can't be with anyone who can't take care of herself.

FYI, any dude of any age with or without kids would have backed away too.

It's the night of the rose ceremony and a few girls get some much needed interview time. Amy is a local reporter so she should handle this like a pro. It's dorky. She'll be perfect for the red carpet.

Cassandra looks at pictures of her son and starts to cry. “I thought coming her would bring me more happiness.”

You mean competing with other women for a stranger's attention?

Renee spends some time consoling her and they end up in the bathroom.

Renee is going for the Miss Congeniality award.

Juan goes to speak with them—he must be sick of crying girls in the bathroom.

She tearfully tells him, “I'm trying to be realistic about things.”

Um, you're on a reality TV show, things don't get more real than this!

Juan completely understands. He sees her and Renee differently than the other girls because they're both moms. He jokes with her and says he's not sure about anyone yet so she shouldn't be worried about not being sure about him.

They end the conversation with a fist pump.

That robot man is slick.

It's time for the rose ceremony!

Cassandra, the cry baby, gets the first rose.

Nikki, Sharleen, Andi, Lucy, and others I don't care to name all get flowers until it comes down to Amy and two other chicks.

Christi, who I haven't even seen before, gets the last rose.

Amy smiles huge for the camera and gives a stellar post dump interview. “I still want to find love and who knows who it will be with.”

Charlane is shocked. “I don't know who else to love. I haven't dated in so long.”

Dear girls,

This too shall pass. This isn't reality. Take solace in the fact that you won't be crying on television next week.

Who do you think is the best match for Juan?

Baby it's Cold Outside

The chilly record breaking temperatures felt all over North America this last month have kept most of us indoors and grumbling about our lazy ancestors who decided to settle in the north instead of continuing down south.

"Big deal", I'd say to them, "so you built a log cabin. That's no reason to lay about making maple syrup and cooking bacon. Two words, palm trees."

However, my time machine is broken so I guess the temperatures are something I'll have to weather, whether I like it or not.

Did you see what I did there? I made a homonym pun.

But let's not forget about all the little creatures that can't come into the warm log cabin and enjoy some maple syrup. In the winter the birds need extra fat to help them weather the colder temperatures

I think Mary Poppins said it best, "Feed the birds..."


So while we're all lamenting about the frigid winter, here's something to do with left over bacon fat to help our feathered friends.

Notice I didn't mention left over syrup. That's because there's no such thing as left over syrup.

Five easy steps to make a wicked awesome winter bird feeder!

Step 1.  Gather up store bought bird seed, one of those garbage bag twist ties, a big bowl, a mesh bag (the kind the grocery store uses to package onions), and some reserved bacon fat. We save ours in a tin can and keep it under the sink. You should never pour hot fat down a drain.



Step 2. Mix your bacon fat and bird seed in the big bowl until it gets a sloppy porridge kind of consistency. I used about a full soup can of cold fat and probably five cups of seed. This is MESSY and gooey fun.


Step 3. Cut an opening in your mesh bag. Then spoon the bird seed mixture into the sack. Some seeds will spill out.


Step 4. Use the green twist tie to close up the opening, making sure to leave enough on the ends to attach to the tree branch.


Step 5. Secure the mesh sack to the tree branch with the twist tie.


And voila!

You've done a great thing. Now all you have to do is pour a cup of coffee and stand by the window in your housecoat to wait for the birds to show up!


The next morning this is what I saw from my living room window.


And then a few minutes later...


And then it soon became a party...



Have fun making your own feeder and enjoy all that bacon!

The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 1, "Girls Just Juanna Have Fun"

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Remember Juan Pablo from last season's The Bachelorette?

He's a retired professional soccer player who now works as a travelling sports reporter. He's hot, has a great job, and a cute little daughter.

If Juan can't get a date then what the heck is the rest of the population doing?

Oh, he's looking for true love.

And everyone knows the best way to find true love is to make out with strangers on prime time.

He says being a dad is not easy, and that he's always thinking about how his actions will affect Camilla—no matter what he's doing.

Let's remember that little gem for a hot tub scene, shall we?

Juan tells us, “There's a person for everyone. And I'm hoping to fall in love.”

Well, it worked for all the other shows...right?

Sean from The Bachelorette Season 8 and The Bachelor Season 17 shows up to give Juan some advice. Maybe he's going for a record in consecutive reality show appearances.

Dear God, what pearls of wisdom will Sean bestow upon Juan?

Sean says, “Some woman will be wacky, just have fun and go with it.” Then he adds this, “When making out with one girl, make sure the others aren't watching.”

Good to know.

Buckle your safety belts! The girls are about to arrive. I can't wait to meet the crazy one.

Chelsie is a 'science educator'. Um...you mean like a teacher or is she a summer camp counselor?

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There's Renee, a single mom, who is in amazing shape. When do all these single parents have time to work out?

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Andi is a prosecutor with a penchant for dressing like she's rehearsing for Law&Order.

Amy is a massage therapist. She says, “I want a man who wants to be rubbed by me.”

I think we just found our freak for this season.

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Nikki is a paediatric nurse. “I want that head over heels feeling. Juan is very sexy.”

Go girl.

Lauren tells us she has a great family life, but her love life sucks. She got engaged, had the dress ready, and the ring, then he broke up with her over the phone. “I want Juan Paulo!” She was already crying and the show hasn't even started.


I fast forwarded through the rest. Suffice to say, they all have long hair and big boobs.

The Host greets Juan Paulo and blah, blah, blah...

The first limo pulls up with loads of squealing.

Amy, a local news reporter is the first to tackle hug Juan Paulo.

Cassandra is a former NBA dancer and she brings a lot of awkward pauses.

Juan is soon overcome with how hot the girls are. He's ready to start picking wives from the first limo.

Nikki the paediatric nurse, brought a stethoscope and lets Juan listen to her racing heart so he can tell how nervous she is.

Hey, Juan got to first base already. Sean would be proud.

Lucy, twirls out of the limo in her white dress with no shoes and is wearing a crown of flowers. She says she's a free spirit. I think she's a fairy on a spy mission.

Lauren arrives on a bike playing the piano. I can smell the desperation through the TV.

Chelsie 'the science educator', tells him they should make chemistry together.

Groan.

Another teacher shows up and gives him a gold star sticker.

What the heck is with all the teachers?

The next girl, Clare, arrives with an obvious baby bump. It's a joke.

Oh my Lord! Amy, the massage therapist has arrived. She manages to keep her hands to herself.

Kelly, a dog lover—yes that's her actual job title, brought her dog. I can't wait to see the other women dodge the dog in their gowns and dresses.

Sharleen arrives in her flowing lavender gown. Juan LOVES her dress. She's an opera singer and she's from Canada! Yeah!

For the record, Sharleen is not only a Murakami fan, but she's the only one who put down someone other than 'Dr. Seuss' for Favorite Author.

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Andi the prosecutor, gets out of the limo in her navel skimming, low cut dress and makes Juan all silly. He even repeats her name a few times.

Yup, Andi's getting a rose.

When all the girls are assembled, Juan walks into the room and all the women giggle and stare at him. He tells them how beautiful they all are. Then he whips out the BOSE stereo and a dance party starts.

And you know what every party needs? Yes, drunk girls crying.

Nikki the nurse gets him alone and they chit chat, she makes him repeat her name a few times.

Smart.

Renee and Juan discuss their kids.

Lucy, the fairy queen, twirls around and tells him, “Don't be nervous, be sure.” He calls her a happy camper. I think he means crazy girl.

Amy decides the best way to bond with Juan is to give him a massage...with his suit on. She discusses how he's one of the most beautiful people in the world.

The Host brings out the 'first impression rose' and the girls are freaking out.

Lauren, the jilted bride, bites her nails and says she needs that rose.

One of the girls from the mid-west said that rose represents her future.

Interesting how normal people lose touch with reality soooo quickly on this show.

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Lauren monologues about her insecurities and starts to cry in front of the camera. “I can't believe I'm the one who's getting worked up.”

I hate to say it, but I did predict this.

Lauren waits alone on the couch. “I want him to see the good energy I have, but I'm breaking a little bit.”

Juan finally meets up with her. Lauren tells Juan about her ex-fiance and how she was ready to be a step-mom to his young son. She's smiling through the story of her break-up, but cries again to the camera.

Andi tells Juan she's a lawyer and he says, “Wow you read a lot.”

She replies with, "I send bad people to jail."

Such compelling conversation for a first date.

                                                                     Sharleen and Jaun. www.wetpaint.com

Juan has some time with Sharleen the opera singer. He compliments her again how much he loves her dress. He tells us her elegance and worldly presence sets her apart from the other girls. He gives her the first impression rose.

She stares at the rose and stammers, “Sure. Thank you.” She's shocked, but she tells the camera she wishes there was more of a connection. She seems awkward to have the rose in front of so many girls who are salivating for it.

I'm thinking Sharleen is just realizing only wackos sign up for this show.  

It's time for the rose ceremony.

The first rose goes to Claire, a girl with long hair and big boobs.

Nikki the nurse is next.

Renee the single mom, also gets a rose.

Andi the lawyer gets a rose. No shock there.

Oh my God, he chose the girl with the dog!

Chelsie the 'science educator' also gets a flower.

Cat is called and Kylie steps forward. Insert awkward moment. Kylie steps back and blinks away tears.

Lucy the fairy skips across the floor for her rose.

There is only one rose left, so of course the host comes out to tell us there's only one rose left.

Kylie, Amy the massage therapist, Lauren, and a bunch of other nameless chicks are left.

Some other girl gets the rose.

Amy cries and says, “I put myself out there completely.”

No, you got on a plane, put on a dress and gave a dude a massage.

Kylie pouts in her neon pink lipstick and lets us know her heart is breaking. She's so ready to find that perfect person.

Lauren says she tired of people feeling sorry for her. She's also shocked she's going home on the first night.

Dear Lauren,

Sell that wedding dress and book a cruise.

She leaves us with these words of wisdom, “I'm going to go home to my family and try to get back to normal.”

Amen to that, sister.

Happily Ever After; Dating Service for Fictional Characters, Session Three

Voted as the number one on-line dating service for fictional characters.
It doesn't matter if you're a hero or a zero on the pages, our on-line dating service will help you find your soul mate.

We'll have you picking out matching bookmarks before you can say, 'library late fees'.

We helped Victor Frankenstein find love in our very first on-line chat room, and our second session featured a war or wits between Lydia Bennet, George Weasley, and Pip from Great Expectations.

This session is about to get started! Let's see who's looking for love today.


Moderator: Hello, everyone. I see we have a whole new group! Splendid. Who would like to start the conversation tonight? How about you, Ariel?

Mute Maid: First of all, I'm not used to using a computer. Being submerged in water most of the day cramps my social media presence. But since my voice was stolen I have no choice but to join an on-line chat group.

marymishapblosspot.com
Nancy Drew: Is that why your user name is 'Mute Maid'?

Mute Maid: You're a clever two legged one, aren't you?

Nancy Drew: It's kind of my thing, I guess.

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Jacob Black: Whoa, like did you just say, oops I mean type, two legged one? Does that mean you're not human? Hey, that's cool with me. So...how do you feel about four legs?

Romeo Montague: O, here upon this keyboard I press the letters that shall bequeath my purest dream come true. How is it that thou shall not speaketh, Mute Maid? And may the conviction of your soul bare to me the solution for all our woes the God's have vexed upon us.

Jacob Black: Dude. Like, what?

Nancy Drew: I think he's asking Mute Maid how she lost her voice.

Mute Maid: I made an unsavoury trade with a spiteful sea witch.

Percy Jackson: Oh yeah? What's her name? I might be able to help you out.

Mute Maid: Ursula is not to be underestimated. What do you know of the sea?

Percy Jackson: Quite a bit, actually. My dad is Poseidon.

Mute Maid: ZOMG! No way!!!

Jacob Black: Hey, sorry to interrupt, but a sea witch is no match for my cunning stealth and massive fangs.

Nancy Drew: Yikes! Are you half shark or something?

Jacob Black: Some know me as Shark Boy, but I'm a werewolf now.

Mute Maid: I don't suppose werewolves can swim?

Romeo Montague: Why then, O brawling love! O loving hate! Why then, does love create these bonds that tether us to a dateless bargain of engrossing death?

Nancy Drew: Sorry, was that a question or a statement?

Romeo Montague: Thouest have the loveliest of names, Miss Nancy Drew.

Nancy Drew: Thank you, Romeo. Tell me, what are some of your interests?

Romeo Montague: Sword fighting, revenge, buying tights and smart gold trimmed tunics, going to balls...


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Percy Jackson: Can we get back to the ocean thing? Mute Maid, are you free next Friday?

Jacob Black: Hey, Bro, back off. I don't care if your dad has a fish tail for legs and owns a magical fork—

Percy Jackson: It's called a Trident, fang face.

Jacob Black: Whatever. I'm a way better date than you. I can run fast and there's always plenty of homemade muffins and spaghetti at my house.

Mute Maid: What's spaghetti?

Nancy Drew: Hannah, our housekeeper, makes the best muffins!

Jacob Black: And I can swim really fast, too.

Mute Maid: That's important.

Jacob Black: And I never get cold, so we could travel to Antarctica or something and hang out on an ice flow.

Mute Maid: Oh...but how can I kiss you if you're a werewolf?

Jacob Black: No problemo, I can turn into a MAN whenever I want. Although since I can't travel with clothes when I'm a werewolf, I'll be naked when I transform to kiss you.

Nancy Drew: Insert awkward silence here.

Romeo Montague: O, pained heart! You speaketh the truth. The frosted breath of lovers denied cannot battle the boundaries of thine flesh.

Mute Maid: I think Romeo is right, Jacob. I'm not quite ready for naked hugs on the first date and I can't risk becoming sushi in your arms.

Jacob Black: Well, I didn't mean it THAT way!

Percy Jackson: Mute Maid, I can breathe under water. And I promise to wear clothes on our date.

Mute Maid: ....I'll be at the end of Pier 21 on Friday at 6pm. And you can call me Ariel.

Percy Jackson: Awesome, Ariel. I'll bring my underwater white board and waterproof marker.

Nancy Drew: Smart thinking, Percy!

Mute Maid: I'm sorry, Jacob.

Jacob Black: I'm used to be passed over. It's okay.

Romeo Montague: Love's heavy burden is great indeed. No man nor werewolf shall be king of such a cruel power.

Nancy Drew: Um...Jacob. I'm presently working on a case that involves suspicious night time activities surrounding a supposed haunted house on the edge of my town. I could use a brave, fast running assistant.

Jacob Black: I'll bring a thermos of spaghetti!

Nancy Drew: And pants as well please. Okay?

Jacob Black: Should I take a shirt too?

Nancy Drew: Um...I'll leave that up to you ;)

Moderator: I'm sorry to say our time has come to an end. Delightful session, everyone. Hoping to see you next time.

Romeo Montague: Parting is such sweet sorrow.

Moderator: Yes, thank you, Romeo. And remember, if you have to have an 'ever after', make sure it's a happy one. Until next time...



Who would you like to see show up in the next chat room?

My Year in Writing, 2013

In terms of organizing my life and setting new goals for 2014, I like to review the past year to see what happened in my writing journey month by month. You can check out last year's post for 2012 here.

So, let's get started on 2013, or as I like to call it, the year in which ALL THE THINGS happened.

January


I worked like a mad woman on BUSGIRL BLUES to meet the deadline for February. Hair reached Mad Max proportions due to lack of time for personal grooming.

The massively revised version of NIGHT SHIFT was returned to an editor who had requested R&R back in July 2012.

Then something exciting happened. An editor who had read JUST JESSE in November 2012 loved it and was planning on taking it to acquisitions. I was super secret with this nugget of fabulous news, fearing I would hex any chance I might have, and only told my family. At this point all the other editors who read JUST JESSE last year had passed.

Although one of the editors who passed on JUST JESSE requested the newly revised NIGHT SHIFT!

So it was high kicks and jazz hands all around. Near the end of the month I found time to have a shower. My family was grateful.


February

BUSGIRL BLUES was featured on Wattpad! I checked my reads and votes four times a day. Oddly enough this did not increase my reads or votes, much like the watched pot of never boiling water. I was able to muster enough self control to push away from the computer. Valentine chocolate on sale helped.

In two weeks my reads reached 10, 000. It was encouraging, but the best part were the amazing comments from readers all over the world. A sixteen year old girl from India sent me a message thanking me for sharing the story because she felt I wrote the story just for her.

Me and my cheap chocolate melted into a puddle of love and gooey joy in front of the computer.

I made Pinterest boards for all my stories *cough* time suck *cough*

March

BUSGIRL BLUES continued to do well. This was a much needed boost as I had been on submission for a combined time of two years and the constant rejection was making me doubt why I was writing at all. The encouragement from the Wattpad community was essential.

Another story took root in the ole' noggin and I started writing a YA mystery.

My family and I went on vacation for March Break. I did a quick check of my e-mail and saw one hundred messages from Wattpad readers. O-o. By the end of the week, the story had received over 200, 000 reads.

During our vacation in Miami, I saw Lionel Richie in our hotel lobby. When he walked by I reached out and shook his hand. "It's so nice to meet you!" I gushed.

I should tell you, my confidence was running high. I was wearing a wicked awesome black dress and had just finished a meal with lots of wine. Therefore, I felt perfectly within my rights to approach the above mentioned super star.

Lionel (because friends call each other by their first names) smiled at me and said, "Well, hello sweetheart. How are you?"

True story.

My agent told me JUST JESSE was given an R&R by the acquisitions team. After reading their short note, I had the feeling this certain publishing house wasn't interested and making the minute changes would be moot. However, I worked on JUST JESSE and hoped I did enough to address their concerns. My agent sent back the revised version and the waiting started again.

The editor who requested the R&R for NIGHT SHIFT passed. My agent and I discussed taking it off submission since she had been shopping it around for over a year. I hated to do this since NIGHT SHIFT was the story I'd worked on the longest and was closest to my heart. Still, we felt it was better to concentrate on the novel we thought had the best chance at selling.


April

No news from editor re-reading JUST JESSE.

BUSGIRL BLUES passed one million reads and was continuing to grow like a Chia Pet on Red Bull! People were actually asking where they could buy the book. But with all the great exposure, nothing else was happening.

Near the end of April, hope was fading. I was anxious to take JUST JESSE to smaller publishing houses. Everyone on twitter was announcing major deals only days after going on submission.

What was I doing wrong?

I continued to do all the things published authors say you should do while waiting on submission.

I concentrated on finishing my YA mystery.

I wrote upbeat blog posts.

I managed my platform.

I read everyday.

I baked cookies.

I helped my kids with their homework.

I started running again.

I went to work and talked about things other than writing.

...And then I went into the local bookstore and started to cry in the YA section.

My husband told me I had to make a decision about my writing or I'd go insane. I lamented about the long process. He said, "Make up your mind, it's either a hobby or a career." Then he asked, "Isn't there anyone local?"

There was.

In fact, I had two small publishing houses on my radar, one local and one in the States. I had nothing to lose so I sent them BUSGIRL BLUES, describing the success it was enjoying on Wattpad.


May

The month in which all the stuff happened.

Three weeks went by with no news. I watched tumbleweeds breeze through my e-mails. I asked my agent to withdraw my submissions for JUST JESSE and NIGHT SHIFT. She promised to schedule a time to talk about it further.

On the Victoria Day holiday weekend my family and I went camping. Drinking coffee while watching sea birds dive for hot dog buns cleared my mind.

I realized writing had become a miserable habit. Trying to get published had turned a  quaint love affair with creating stories into a nightmare of being trapped inside a brothel full of zombies.

I didn't want that anymore. I just wanted to write.

On my birthday (yay 42!), when I returned home from the camping trip, there was an e-mail from the publisher in the States. They really liked BUSGIRL BLUES! They'd checked my website and wondered if they could take a look at JUST JESSE as well. I sent a quick e-mail to my agent, awaiting her instruction on how to proceed.

My impatience was finally wearing down my agent. It was clear by this time we had differing views of which publishing houses we wanted for JUST JESSE. We had reached a stalemate, and she felt it was time to end my contract. 

To be honest, it was for the best. And even though she never read BUSGIRL BLUES, I admit I should have told her I was planning on submitting to smaller publishers.

I will always be grateful for the work she put into helping me these last two years, especially with NIGHT SHIFT. Any success that story enjoys will be due in part to her efforts. We wished each other well and ended things amicably.

Then I received word the editor considering NIGHT SHIFT passed, but with nice compliments.

Four days later, (on my niece's fifteen birthday) I received a phone call from the local publisher. Penelope J, an editor from Nimbus Publishing, made an offer on BUSGIRL BLUES. The finer details are here. When I told her about JUST JESSE, she requested that as well. A week later she called with a two book deal!

I contacted the other small publisher. They were excited about both books, but requested an R&R for BUSGIRL BLUES before they would consider making a counter offer.

Penelope and I had already discussed the extent of the revisions that would be needed. She was enthusiastic and totally won me over with her passion for my characters.

It was an easy decision. R&R's have never really worked out for me. I accepted the offer from Nimbus.

June

The editor considering JUST JESSE passed. I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to speak with her. She was lovely and took the time to explain my revisions weren't up to what they were hoping to see, and that a second revision wouldn't have made a difference in their decision.

I appreciated the time she took to champion JUST JESSE. As writers, we don't realize the huge amounts of time editors put into manuscripts that may never be published.

Speaking of being published...

I signed my contract with Nimbus and the party began.

Funny thing about positive feedback, you tend to write more. That story I was tinkering with back in March had taken flight and had reached over 85, 000 words. I began posting the first few chapters of THE ASP, a YA mystery, on Wattpad.


July

I have three awesome friends who have been reading all my stuff from the very beginning—that's six years worth of bad spelling to slog through, folks. They threw me a party and made this frickin' awesome book cake with the last line of JUST JESSE's query.





August

I posted the Epilogue for THE ASP! It had reached over 250, 000 reads by this point.

September

I started outlining a new YA sci-fi idea that had been kicking around in my head. And yes, even that one has its own Pinterest story board.

I was lucky enough to be the beta reader for two fantastic writer friends. One was a middle grade adventure with magical realism and a spirited girl who loved sword fighting. And you'll be able to read it soon too because it's going to be published by Sourcebooks in Spring 2014. She'll be making a lovely guest appearance on this blog in the next few months.

And the other was a contemporary romance with lots of um...other kinds of action. That book will soon be snagged by a publisher when it falls head over heels in love with its steamy, schmexy scenes.


October

NIGHT SHIFT was featured on Wattpad. This was a hard decision to make because I've been revising and working on this story for the last six years. However, I realized the characters will wither away and die if no one reads about them. So, yes, after all those sleep deprived nights, I'm offering my blood, sweat, and tears for free.

For Halloween, my thirteen-year-old daughter dressed up like DumbleDora the Explorer and my ten year old son went as a bloody surgeon with a chain saw. It was epic.

 November

NIGHT SHIFT was getting blush-inducing, amazingballs comments! I was thrilled! I also noticed a lot more published authors were making profiles on Wattpad, posting the first few chapters of their published works for more exposure. Fantastic!

December

I got my editorial letter for BUSGIRL BLUES! I'd never been so happy to stay up late writing again. I finished my work by the end of the month, and when I read through it (for the millionth time) I knew I made the right decision in accepting the offer from Nimbus. The story wouldn't have evolved the way it had without Penelope's guidance.

I guess I should listen to my husband more often ;)

So that's 2013 in review. Phew! I'm exhausted.

And in a few days I'll finally be able to say, "I'm getting published THIS year."


What are your writing goals for 2014?

Treasure in the Trash

Personally speaking, I hate writing the first draft of any story because I know it's going to be garbage. I fight each sentence, wishing I could toss it in the rubbish and start fresh. I have to keep reminding myself to turn off the inner editor and just get the damn words on the paper.
After all, I can't edit a blank page. Garbage can always be thrown out.

However, I've recently learned to be careful not to lose the treasure hidden among the trash.

Let me explain...
`
Before all the snow came, making Halifax look like a living Christmas card, I prepared my garden for the winter. An old wooden bird house my father had made for me many years ago, finally succumbed to the elements and was basically rotting off its spot on my backyard fence.

My dad is a retired Mountie, but he's also a jack of all trades. I've never known him not to be tinkering with some broken appliance or out in his workshop. The only thing he can't do is cut his own hair, this is a task he hands over to me.

FYI, I don't know how to cut hair, but I have electric clippers and that's good enough for my dad.

I suspect he's so proficient at fixing/making things because he's too cheap to buy something new. A quality that's endearing, actually...unless you mind waiting weeks for the toaster to work again.

In all its time on the fence, I've only ever seen one chickadee perched on top of the bird house. To my knowledge, no birds ever found refuge in the little box with its circular opening, promising shelter from the rain and neighbourhood cats.

Even though its purpose was unfulfilled, I kept it up on the fence for its aesthetic appeal—nothing like a weathered bird house to invoke the imagination.

Once, two years ago, a family of bees set up shop, buzzing in and out of the opening like a well organized flight deck. I imagined splitting open the old bird house to find honeycombs dripping with sweet honey. But the house remained intact, I didn't have the heart to disrupt what they might have created.

And so the little house stayed in place, facing the elements of each season. Until finally, this fall, the small crack in the front spilt wide open and the whole thing sagged away from the fence.

Did I look inside?

Of course I did.

The wood was so pliable, I pulled it apart with my bare hands. When the sunlight shone on the contents, I was amazed at what I found.


Sitting in a cloud of brown leaves was a soft, perfectly round bird's nest. I could see where the twine we used to secure some of the larger plants in the garden had been painstakingly pulled apart, creating thin stripes of silky thread to line the nest.

There was a red strand of yarn from a school project that must have been discarded with the leftover craft supplies.

And when I looked closer, I found tufts of grey fluffy hair—my dad's hair to be exact. The cuttings from his regular visits that gathered on the towel around his neck and then shook free in the backyard, had also found a purpose.

Archaeological layers of my family's life had been braided into this little nest; tiny bits of garbage that the birds had turned into treasure.

So don't turn your nose up at the stink of your first draft, instead relish the icky, sloppiness of it and know that you're getting closer to the treasure hidden within.

Happy writing! And Happy New Year!

Once Upon A Time, Season 3, Episode 11, "Going Home"

Or better title, “No Happy Ending For You!”
theasun.com

Fake Henry and Felix go to the well in the forest and cast the curse, ready to wipe everyone's memory and make them his slaves in his new Neverland. Felix thinks this is a super fabulous plan.

Mr. Gold tells Emma and the gang the curse can be stopped only by the person who used it the first time—Regina. She must destroy the scroll, but there will be a major price. But in order to get the scroll they have to get Henry's spirit back in his old body. Only the most powerful magic can pull off that spell.

Fake Henry drops all the stuff down the well, but he needs one more ingredient, the heart of the thing he loves the most. Felix doesn't like the way Fake Henry is talking about how loyalty is as strong as love. Before you can say, “We can fly,” Fake Henry rips out Felix's heart and completes the spell.

Tinkerbell shares some information about a certain wand that is rumoured to be the most powerful of its kind. It used to be owned by an evil fairy full of black magic. But the Blue Fairy managed to take her wand, and has had it hidden in the convent all these years.

At Mr. Gold's shop, Mary Margaret shows Emma the glass unicorn mobile that was over her crib before she was born. They talk about what life would be like if they hadn't given up their kids.

Hmm...

onceuponapodcast.com

Tinkerbell, Neal, Hook, and David break up the Blue Fairy's open casket wake. Before they can start looking for the super powerful wand, Peter Pan's freaky shadow thing arrives and makes them scatter like mice.

Hook decides to be the hero and tries to fight the shadow. Neal has his trusty 'coconut shell shadow catcher', but he can't get high enough to capture it. Tinkerbell takes out her pixie dust and with all the belief she can muster, she flies up and captures the shadow. Then she tosses the whole thing in a flaming cauldron.

Why are there dishes with fire in the church?

With the death of the shadow, the Blue Fairy is revived. She congratulates Tinkerbell for finally believing in herself. She gives her back her wings and hands over the dark fairy's wand.

Mr. Gold still has the bracelet that Greg and Nadine used to render any magical being helpless. He places in on Peter Pan's wrist so he'll be powerless when Henry's spirit is swapped. Once Henry is back in his own body and in possession of the scroll for the curse, he'll find them lickity split so Regina can stop the curse.

Iron clad plan. No problem should arise.

Mr. Gold uses the black fairy's wand and performs the spell to release Henry's spirit. Mr. Gold stays while everyone else runs into the street.

Of course, why would anyone want to stay behind with Mr. Gold to make sure Peter Pan doesn't outwit him?

We travel back to a gentler time in Storybrooke when fourteen year old Henry is trying to act eleven. Mary Margaret has a heart to heart with a confused Henry. He's feeling lost because his birth mother gave him up and his adoptive mother is the meany pants Mayor.

Mary Margaret is all smiles. She hands over a book of fairy tales that she just happened to find in her closet that morning. Henry is unconvinced this will help him feel better, but she tells him the book is more than fairy tales, it's hope.

“Your happy ending may not be what you expect,” she tells him, “but that's what makes it so special.”

Henry starts turning pages...and well, you know the rest.

Granny leads Emma and the gang down main street. Since she's part wolf, she can track him down easily.

Where's Ruby these days?

The real Henry runs out of the library to be with them. He has the scroll and gives it the Regina. When she touches the curse, she falls to the ground.

Mr. Gold is there to greet Peter Pan when he wakes up in his own body.

                                                                         youtube.com

Peter Pan talks about how Mr. Gold was a baby who needed a lot of attention. He regrets nothing. Mr. Gold grabs a sword, ready to end his father's life. Peter Pan whips off the cuff—it doesn't work on him because he's the one who made it and gave it to Greg and Nadine.

Oops.

He magics it to Mr. Gold's wrist and starts throwing him around the room.

Watch out for the glass unicorn mobile!

Peter Pan says it's too late to stop the curse, and that without magic Mr. Gold is right back to where he started, the village coward.

Regina finally wakes and realizes the price she has to pay for breaking the curse. Peter Pan shows up and starts a monologue about his awesome curse. He's about to kill Neal when Mr. Gold shows up.

Mr. Gold says he's finally willing to pay the price, then he tells Neal and Belle how much he loves them.

Peter Pan laughs because he has no magic to fight with. Mr. Gold says he doesn't need magic because he also has a shadow to do his bidding. The shadow appears with his long lost hidden dagger.

Remember when he asked the shadow to hide it the first night they were on Neverland?

The only way Peter Pan will die is if he dies. He stabs Peter Pan with the dagger. When he returns to his form as Rumpelstiltskin's father, he begs for Mr. Gold to spare his life, promising they can start over.
                                                                           picstopping.com

Mr. Gold says villains like them never get happy endings. Then he thrusts the dagger deeper and they both disappear in a plume of black smoke.

Belle crumples to the ground, inconsolable. Regina is in shock. Green smoke pours out of the well. Grumpy comes screaming down the street saying the curse is coming from all sides. There's no escape.

Regina says she can stop the curse, but only if she says good bye to the thing she loves the most—Henry. When she breaks the curse, it will destroy the town and everyone will return to where they came from, everyone that is except Henry and Emma.

                                                                         onceuponatime.com

Henry was born outside the enchanted forest and Emma is the saviour that was meant to break the curse, and therefore is immune...or something like that.

Mary Margaret tells Emma and Henry they have to take this chance, even though it means breaking up the family again. A happy ending, but not exactly.

Emma and Henry go to the town line where her yellow bug is waiting.

*Cue the tearful good byes and reconciliations*

Regina only wants Henry to be happy. Emma tells Neal she's sorry. He says this isn't over and he'll see her again someday. Hook lets her know he'll be burning the torch as well, and she's cool with that.

Rowr.

Regina tells Emma that her memories of Storybrooke will also disappear. She doesn't know what will happen to her and Henry, but she gives Henry and Emma the gift of happy memories, where she never gave him up, and they had always been together.

Their past will be fake, but their future will be real.

I liked that line. Nice job, ABC.

*Cue the tears and kisses*

Emma and Henry get into the yellow bug and drive away. Regina starts to break the curse. Everyone is enveloped in a cloud of purple smoke as Storybrook3 disappears.

One Year Later

We're in New York City, Emma is making scrambled eggs for herself and Henry in a swanky apartment. There's a knock at the door. Hook is standing there is all his leather clad loveliness. He says her family is in danger and desperately need her help. She slams the door and gets the willies that some crazy guy had gotten into her swanky apartment building.

Whoo-hoo!

Man, that was good.

Okay, since another episode won't be airing until March, I guess I'll be blogging The Bachelor when it starts in January. Oh, Juan. What were you thinking?

Stop Thinking

Do you keep editing stuff you've just written before going on to the next scene?

Are you stuck on dialogue that seems to be going nowhere?

Not sure how to connect the B storyline to the main plot in the A storyline?

Here's my advice...


pinterest.com
 And just write.


It won't be great. It won't even be good. In fact, it will probably be garbage. But it will be done and you'll edit it brilliantly later.

Once Upon A Time, Season 3, Episode 10, "The New Neverland"

 Or better title, "Pass the Tylenol"

fairytalessite.net


We're in sunny Storybrooke. Belle takes Ariel to the wharf to meet Prince Eric. He's a fisherman gutting the day's catch.

What will happen?

He recognizes her immediately and they start to make out.

Well, that was easy.

A shadow passes over. Belle looks up and sees the Jolly Roger emerge from the clouds.

*Cue the touching piano music and sweet reunions*

Except for Regina, none of the fairy tale characters are happy to see her.

 entertainmentoutlook.comBelle and Mr. Gold embrace and thank God, ABC has spared us a kissing scene with these two. Wendy Darling comes off the boat, and hugs her much older brothers, John and Michael. They plan to fly back to England.

Good idea. Storybrooke is crazy pants.

Mary Margaret lets all the happy peasants know that Regina is the main reason they're all together again.

We flashback to Snow White and Prince Charming's wedding. The Evil Queen makes her famous speech, “I will ruin your happiness if it's the last thing I do.”

Upset with the Evil Queen's latest threat, Snow White is determined to fight back, but Charming convinces her that the best way to defeat the Queen is to have a good old fashioned honeymoon with plenty of lovin'. Snow White chooses a her summer palace where her own parents had their honeymoon.

Awkward.

Grumpy shows up and tells her the castle is secure but he worries about their quick trip. Snow White gives him a wink and says there's something at the summer palace that will defeat the Evil Queen once and for all.

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Peter Pan is walking around in Henry's body and meets with the older Lost Boy (Felix). They make a plan to take over Storybrooke...or something like that. To Felix's surprise the first step is having Emma put him in jail.

Belle and Mr. Gold plan a future now that he doesn't have to worry about the prophecy of Henry being his undoing. Stupid seeer.

Oh, wait. Henry is Peter Pan now. Hmm...

Emma meets Fake Henry at Granny's pub/diner/laundromat. She hands him the big book of fairy tales.

Meanwhile at the bar/lunch counter Hook and his chest hair are facing off against grubby Neal, vying for Emma's heart.

Seriously, there's no contest, right, ladies?

                                                                      thetvaddict.com

Hook lets Neal know that he's in this quest for the long run. He thinks he has a good chance since he's never left her pregnant and alone and let her go to jail for him. Also, he's much, much hotter.

Team Hook ;)

Regina and Tinkerbell arrive and march right up the Blue Fairy who still dresses like she's Mother Superior. Regina demands Tinkerbell's wings be given back since she helped them escape Neverland, plus let's not forget she made some left over pixie dust glow.

The Blue Fairy demands a demonstration, but Tinkerbell is too nervous. She denies Tinkerbell her wings siting, “If you don't believe in yourself, how can I believe in you?”

Oh shut it, you Ninny!

Tinkerbell rolls her eyes says, “I need a drink.”

Spoken like a true fairy.

Speaking of fairies...remember Nova? The fairy that was in love with Grumpy? What the heck happened to her? And where are Cinderella and her Prince? Wasn't there some kind of deal about her baby and Mr. Gold?

Reaches for Tylenol.

Fake Henry reads through the book and sees a picture of the Evil Queen in front of a vault. Neal asks Emma if they can have special talk time, ie: a date. She says she doesn't want to start a relationship since Henry just had his heart ripped out and everything.

Prince Charming carries Snow White across the threshold of her parent's summer palace. She reminisces about her time their as a young girl. The Prince is ready to start practising making heirs, but Snow White pushes him away, saying she has something special planned for tonight.

He leaves to go stable the horses. By stable the horses he means some special alone time...sorry, never mind.

Snow White quickly grabs the families supply of archery weapons and tears off into the woods. But Prince Charming must stables horses er... pretty quickly and he's blocking her path.

Snow White confesses she came up to the summer palace to hunt a creature who has the ability to destroy the Evil Queen. Apparently one look from this beast and you turn to stone.

Oh, Medusa. I was wondering when the Greeks would show up.

Here's the plan: Snow White and Prince Charming will team up and find this beast so they can behead it. He says he can't wait until they slay this thing and start their real honeymoon.

Yeah, slaying mythical beasts is a total turn on.

Fake Henry asks to have a sleepover at Regina's. She's all for it, and Emma reluctantly agrees. He asks Regina if she still has all her magic in her secret vault. He uses the excuse that he's worried Peter Pan will come after him again and he'll need protection.

She tells him not to worry, and that magic is not the answer.

What? Hasn't she been watching the show? Magic is always the answer. Right, ABC. *Wink, wink*

Fake Henry is right because hidden on the Jolly Roger is Peter Pan's shadow.

Didn't Regina kill it? Isn't that how they could leave Neverland?

*Reaches for Tylenol*

Snow White and Prince Charming comb the woods and reminisce about their wacky romance. Snow White lets him know (and us) the only way to reverse Medusa's curse is to kill her, thereby bringing all the previous stone victims to back life.

Mr. Gold shows up at Granny's where David and Mary Margaret are having breakfast. He hands David his cure so he can stay in Storybrooke. He lets them know they owe him BIG TIME.

David takes the potion and ta-da! His creepy mark thing is gone and he's ready to make that second baby with Mary Margaret.

But, boo-hoo. Neal is sitting by himself the next booth over, waiting for Emma who has purposely stood him up.

David takes off to talk his daughter into giving the guy who let her go to jail for his crime another chance. Emma wonders if he's trying to make sure she doesn't start dating Hook.

Back on the Jolly Roger, Hook is already propositioning Tinkerbell, but she's no dumb fairy, she knows he's just killing time before Emma changes her mind.

They hear screams and follow the commotion. The Blue Fairy is being chased by Peter Pan's shadow. It knocks her down and takes away her shadow, thereby killing.

What will Storybrooke do? She was the only fairy who knew how to work with pixie dust!

*cough* foreshadowing of Tinkerbell's moment of triumph *cough*

Hook says the shadow only takes orders from one person...Peter Pan.

Snow White and Prince Charming enter Medusa's castle.

How on earth are these two dimwits going to defeat Medusa.

They don't. Snow White fails to chop off her head. Charming throws a shield like a Frisbee, but that only makes her madder. They try to escape, but Snow White trips and Charming ends up being turned to stone.

Twenty points for Slytherin.

Regina is shocked to discover that Peter Pan's shadow is out killing fairies when she already destroyed it. Fake Henry pretends to be worried. He asks Regina to protect him. Emma takes Regina aside and voices her worries that Henry doesn't exactly seem all right.

Regina rebuffs her suggestion saying she's jealous Henry keeps choosing her. She takes Henry to the safest place in Storybrooke—her secret vault of magic!

Snow White calls out encouragement to the stone faced Charming. The Evil Queen's face shows up in the reflection of the shield, laughing because she ended up destroying her own happiness.

Medusa charges at Snow White, she holds up the shiny shield. Medusa sees her own reflection and changes to stone. And ta-da! Charming returns back to life.

Well, that was easy.

Emma, Mary Margaret and David rush to Mr. Gold's shop. They want him to open up Pandora's Box and release Peter Pan because they want answers, damn it! Emma has a plan and they drive to the town line.

                                                                      alienbee.com

Mr. Gold enchants the box and give it to Emma. She takes it across the line, waiting with her gun. Peter Pan emerges, looking confused. He frantically tells Emma that Peter Pan switched their bodies and he's the real Henry.

He proves himself by recounting the moment when they connected, when she told him the reason she gave him up as a baby was to give him a better shot.

They hug and everyone rejoices...sort of.

Then David says, “Hey, if this is the real Henry, then where is Pan?”

Fake Henry sits inside Regina's magical emporium of wonders practically salivating at all the awesome vials of stuff that can help him take over Storybrooke. He gives Regina a fake hug, then uses one of her potions to render her unconscious.

Snow White tells Prince Charming that they have to start a family speedy quick because the world needs more good than bad. He's like, sure that's what I've been saying all along.

Emma and the gang meet up with Neal, Tinkerbell and Mr. Gold at the vault. While Mr. Gold uses magic to break open the door, Emma monologues that she can never have a happy life because the price of being 'the savior' is that she doesn't get a day off, therefore no time to date and stuff.

Mr. Gold finally breaks through. They find Regina unconscious. Mr. Gold wakes her up. She feels stupid because she fell for Fake Henry's talk about family and love and blah, blah, blah. Peter Pan (aka the real Henry) gives her a hug and sets everything right.

David asks the main question we're all wondering, “What was Pan looking for down here?”

Mr. Gold notices the one empty box, he shots Regina a look. “Please don't tell me you kept it down here?”

She looks sheepishly at everyone, “Where else would I keep the curse.”

Yup. The curse.

Fake Henry breaks Felix out of jail and they run to the woods with the curse. Once he casts the curse again, everyone in Storybrooke will forget who they were and time will stand still. And Fake Henry and Felix will run the show.

Whoo-hoo! That means Emma and Hook have a chance to make out again!