B.R. Myers's Blog, page 21

The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 7 "Reality Bites, Miami Nights, and Cat Fights"

There are six contestants left. Juan Pablo and the girls return to the States. They take up residence in a swanky suite in downtown Miami.
Juan reunites with his family. He tells his cousin that he thinks Sharleen is the one.

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Meanwhile, Sharleen tells the camera that she feels the enormity of how serious things are getting and she's still not sure.
Juan arrives at the suite and invites Sharleen for the first one on one date.
Claire is confused. “Why her?”
Dear Claire,
Juan Pablo thinks Sharleen is elegant. He said you were hot, though.

Juan Pablo takes her on a yacht.
Sharleen says he's not her usual type, but she's definitely attracted to him. “The chemistry is magnetic.”
They have drinks on a beach and they talk about her career as an Opera singer. She says, “I've put my singing before everything for so long, but now I'm ready to let other things take priority.”
Juan Pablo tells us, “From the very first day, I like her.”
They go back on the yacht for an evening cruise. She tells us her heart's all a flutter. HOWEVER, even though being with him feels right, there's a little voice in her head that says it's not right.
Dear Sharleen,
Sorry, that's me. You're too normal to be on this show.

When Sharleen returns to the suite, she seeks out Renee, the resident psychologist. Renee tells her that you can't determine how much you love someone by how much time you spend together, and that she should stick around and see what happens.
Dear Renee,
You're awesome.
Juan Pablo chooses Nikki for the next date. And he takes her to his daughter's dance recital.
Sure, that shouldn't give the kid mixed signals at all.

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Nikki is so happy she's about to throw up. “It's not every day you meet your boyfriend's parents, or his daughter, or his daughter's mother.”
Nope.
We get to see Carmella dance and sing, and we also see Carmella's very hot mother. Every one is all smiles and hugs.
I can't wait for Claire to hear about this!!!
For the evening portion of their date, he takes Nikki to the Marlin's stadium. She's wearing a halter top that looks two sizes too big. They play catch and I'm sure a boobie might pop out by mistake.
They do some kissing and talk about family.
Back at the suite Sharleen tells the other girls she can't take the guilt of staying if she's not sure.
They give her hugs, except for Claire who's busy calling the travel agent to book a flight for her.
Sharleen says, “It's taking all of my willpower to do this thing. I'm aware that I may be making a huge mistake.”
She goes to Juan Pablo's room. “I don't want to take the spot of someone else who is already at that place where they know for sure they want to marry you.”
He holds her while she cries and tells her not to feel sorry for her feelings. She leaves for the airport and Juan Pablo cries to the camera—she was going to get a home town rose.

Dear Juan,

Reality bites, doesn't it?
Sharleen leaves in a cab, weepy but somewhat relieved.
Let be a lesson, girls. If you're normal, do not sign up for the show.
The sun comes up the next morning. Claire is super bouncy on the group date. He's taking the girls to a private beach. Whoever gets the date rose, gets to ...um I don't know, I wasn't listening to the rules that closely.
Chelsea reads him notes that her family sent with her so she wouldn't get so homesick.
Andi gets weepy because she's tapping into emotions that she usually keeps under lock and key. Juan tells her not to worry.                                                                                 wetpaint.com

Dear Juan,
It was more fun when the girls were more interested in kissing rather than crying, right?
Claire tells him she's the youngest of six girls. And that her family is the most important thing to her. She talks about how her father made a video for her future husband—a video she's never seen. Juan Pablo nods his head and asks if they can kiss.
It starts to rain. Juan gives the rose to Andi.
This means Juan Pablo has chosen to meet her family and that the group date is over and he'll have the rest of the evening date with Andi.

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Claire says to the camera, “What the f*#k am I doing here?”
Dear Claire,
Why did it take you this long?
He takes Andi downtown where they go to a Latin dance club. Juan Pablo can dance. Andi can't. He says, “She smart and sexy.”
Yeah, but not Sharleen.
Back at the suite, Claire and Nikki have the most awkward fight. Neither of them finish a sentence. They say 'like' and 'sh*t' a hundred times. It's stupid.
*Hits fast forward*
Now it's the rose ceremony.
Nikki says, “I just want to be done with this.”
Girl, you took the words right out of my mouth.
ABC wasted the next eight minutes showing Nikki and Claire NOT talking to each other.
The Host gives a speech I fast forward through, then Juan Pablo comes to address the contestants. I fast forward through that as well.
The first rose goes to Nikki, followed by Claire, and the last rose goes to...Renee.
Chelsea is going home.
Juan Pablo gets teary eyed.
I know. You wished Sharleen hadn't left.
Don't cry Chelsea. Don't cry. Don't cry.
Damn it.
She wipes her tears in the back of the limo and says, “It was great to see him so upset.”
And that my friends, is true love.
 
Juant more episode recaps?

The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 1 " Girls Just Juanna Have Fun "
The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 2 " Boobs, Blindfolds, and Bathroom Breakdowns "
The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 3 "Splashing, Soccer, and Poolside Sobbing"
The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 4 "K-pop, Karaoke, and Kissing"
The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 5 "Making Out, Freaking Out, and Backing Out"
The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 6 "Geysers, Good-byes, and Gagging"

Top Five Things to do When Your Olympic Event is Postponed

Sochi! Land of mountains, fog, beaches, and postponed Olympic events. At least with the fog the down hill skiers can't see all the mud patches and swatches of green.

What's a bobsledder and down hill skier to do?

Don't despair, here are the top five activities for Olympians who have too much time on their hands.

#1. Go to the beach. Seriously. Sochi is a resort town. Wear sunscreen.

www.worldnews.com
#2. Find a Canadian. Where there's a Canadian, there's a party.

www.dailymail.com
#3. Go to the indoor venues where the grass is less noticeable and cheer on the skaters, curlers, and ice cone makers. I know ice cone making isn't an Olympic event, but it should be.

#4. Make out. You may be from different parts of the world and have a different alphabet, but never underestimate the importance of body language. And as far as physiques go, this is probably the best shape your body will ever be in, so go for it.

                                                                        www.ctvnews.com

#5. Learn one phrase in Russian. The most helpful one would probably be, "Where are the Canadians?"

BONUS!

Make a quilt out of all the flags.

What would you do in Sochi?

Top Ten Romantic Novels to Celebrate on Valentine's Day

comicvine.com
Ah, romance. I think Pepe Le Pew, that hopeless romantic stalker, said it best, "All is love in fair and war." Of course he also said, "Come back! Ze corned beef does not run away from ze cabbage."

Anyway, Valentine's Day isn't only about chocolates in a heart shaped box—a box that's been on the grocery store shelf since Boxing Day.

Did you know that February 14th is also International Give A Book Day?

Let's mix the two celebrations! Instead of a Hallmark card written by some stranger in their crusty housecoat, give your true love a romantic novel!

Or as Hermione Granger in Harry Potter Puppet Pals once said, "All I want for Christmas is...books! Just books!"

Here are the top heart melting picks to celebrate with your sweetheart.
#1. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

"You must allow me to tell you how ardently I admire and love you."

#2. The Republic of Love by Carol Shields

 "To be a romantic is to believe anything can happen to us."


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#3. Fault in Our Stars by John Green

 "You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world...but you do have some say in who hurts you. I like my choices."  

#4. Twilight by Stephanie Meyer

"One thing I truly knew - knew it in the pit of my stomach, in the center of my bones, knew it from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet, knew it deep in my empty chest - was how love gave someone the power to break you." 

#5. Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

"Thus with a kiss I die."

#6. The Princess Bride by William Goldman

"As you wish."

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#7. Atonement by Ian McEwan

"...falling in love could be achieved in a single word—a glance."  

#8. Captain Corelli's Mandolin by Louis de Bernieres

"When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake, and then it subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots are become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is."

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#9. The Thorn Birds by Colleen McCullough

"Belief doesn't rest on proof or existence...it rests on faith...without faith there is nothing." 

#10. The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

"It's hard being left behind. It's hard to be the one who stays."

What book will you give this Valentine's Day?

The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 6, "Geysers, Good-byes, and Gagging"

hollywoodhiccups.com
The eight remaining contestants go to New Zealand!
*Cue the sheep on the hills*
Juan Pablo says those words that are somehow part of the script of this show, “I'm ready to take this to the next level.”
Chelsie tells us, "To be in New Zealand and dating this one amazing man...?”
Yeah, who is dating seven other girls.
Kat says she wants to kick it up a notch.
I think she means the next level.
Cassandra says she feels guilty because she misses her son, but she's anxious to....yup you guessed it, take it to the next level.
 
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Claire voices her concerns about her escapades from last week. “I thought we were good, then everything blew up in my face.”
I'm sure that wasn't a Freudian slip. *Rolls eyes*
Andi gets chosen for her first one on one date. And she's soooooo excited.

Dear Andi,

Most dates are only two people. That's how warped this show has turned your brain.
Claire says, "My emotions are bubbling. Things are building and might just erupt in New Zealand."
She likes the volcano metaphors.
Juan Pablo takes Andi power boating.
I hope she didn't spend any time on her hair.
They get into their bathing suits and jump out of the boat. Juan Pablo leads her through this narrow rock maze while treading freezing cold water.
Andi tells us, “It feel good to be taken care of.”
Dear Andi,
If you wanted to feel taken care of, he would have taken you to the spa.
They stumble and trip and eventually find the hot springs—where they make out like crazy under a waterfall.
Andi says, “The bond between us grows stronger the farther we go.”
Hmm...Freudian slip?
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They have diner in front of a geyser. Juan says, “I think diner will blow her mind.”
Then the geyser goes off, soaking them both. They move to a spot that's dry. Andi asks Juan what he wants. He says he wants love and to have more children.
She says she can't wait to start a family. Juan zips open his jacket and gives her the date rose.
He tells us, “Andi is opening up her heart to me and it will be worth it in the end.”
*snort* Yeah, right, when he picks Claire.
GROUP DATE!

They have a picnic on a hillside. It's also Cassandra's 22 birthday. But no one thought to bring a cake.
Then they don their bathing suits and get inside huge plastic hamster balls that roll downhill. There's lots of screaming and gratuitous bikini shots.

The cocktail party takes place in Hobbitville. Cassandra is determined to get some time with Juan. She's using her birthday wish for the date rose.
Juan tells Renee she's his special one . Renee says he sees her and her son as a package and not a burden. And that gives her hope.
Nikki uses her time with Juan to 'step outside her comfort zone'. She tells him she's scared because she's totally falling for him and she might get hurt.
Dear Nikki,
You signed up for this stupid show.
Juan runs his fingers through her hair, then eases her anxiety with his mouth.
Sharleen wants to feel more confident about their relationship so she's ready to ask Juan all kinds of questions. Juan tells her not to question things, but to make the most of out 'this'.
And by 'this' he means making out.
Cassandra tells Juan she's so excited to meet a single dad who is also a nice guy.
And by nice guy, she means, “good kisser.”
Sharleen gets the date rose.

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Juan takes Cassandra aside. It's raining. He tells her its hard for him because she's one of his special ones. And she's beautiful, and she's funny, and they always have good times...but he wishes they were on the same page.
Dear Juan Pablo,

That's because she's ten years younger than you.
Anyway, he tells Cassandra he was pleased to meet her, but he doesn't see anything else happening with them. And he wants her to go back home to her son.
Happy Birthday, Cassanda!!!
Don't do it, Cassandra. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry.
Damn it.
“I just feel sick,” she weeps.
Juan walks back to Hobbitville under an umbrella while a sad piano song plays.
It's time for Claire's one on one date.

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She lets us know she's ready for him to apologize to her for hurting her feelings last week. Juan starts the conversation by running his fingers through her hair. He says, “I'm sorry. It was my mistake.”
Claire replies with, “I just wanted to go in the ocean and swim. We just let things go." Then she adds, "Right now, what are our boundaries?”
Blah, blah, blah...they start making out three sentences later.
Juan takes her back to his suite. He asks if her heart is melting at all. She smiles and flips her hair and tells him about her fear of getting hurt. Then she tells him he owned it like a man and apologized. And those are the qualities she wants in the father of her children.
He tells us Claire is hot. He's even getting hot just thinking about her.
Gag.
He gives her the date rose and they make out.
It's time for the rose ceremony. Which is exciting because that means this episode is almost over.
Nikki doesn't have a rose, but she's certain she has a connection with Juan that none of the other girls have.

Oh man! Seriously? 

He runs his fingers through her hair, and they kiss. They do some flirty, silly talk and she lets him know she's looking for a happy ending.
Juan says, “She told me she really likes me and I'm like, wow.”
And I'm like, yawn.
Chelsie sits with Juan Pablo and lets him know she wants real, genuine love that will last forever. Juan tells her it will be okay. However, he doesn't run his fingers through her hair. Kat tells Juan she was writing in her journal the other night about how she's reluctant to trust guys because her dad was a complete disaster in her life. Then she talks about reward and risk.
*Hits fast forward*
The first rose goes to Nikki, followed by Renee. Now it's just Kat and Chelsie that are left.
Oh my nerves, after a full minute of building music he gives the last rose to Chelsie.
Go science!
Don't cry, Kat. Don't cry. Don't cry.
Damn it.
Kat says, “I totally saw myself at the end with him.”
Dear Kat,
Don't worry. Have a good cry. The sun will come out again.

 Sharleen blinks back the tears and says she feels guilty. She says the other girls would be better suited to Juan Pablo. But she'll give it another week and see if there's anything between them.

Dear Sharleen,

I feel the same way about this show. See you next week.

Dropping the F Bomb in YA

Recently, a reader sent me a message regarding my YA paranormal mystery, NIGHT SHIFT. She told me she was disappointed in the story because "your book promotes vulgar language, mature themes, etc."

Really?

I was floored by this comment. Had she even read NIGHT SHIFT?

I was intrigued though, so I did a little research. Out of 92, 000 words, the f bomb was down three times. Sh*t was a little bit higher with ten mentions. As for mature themes, my characters didn't even have their first kiss until chapter sixteen.

To be honest, I was a little hurt. I don't write stories to shock or upset people, but clearly this reader was offended I'd used the f bomb.

Did you notice I couldn't even spell out the curse words? That's because I'm someone who doesn't swear much in real life. It's just the way I am. But my character didn't hesitate to say it in the book.

Why?

Because it was a natural reaction for him in an extremely tense situation.

Let's look at the f bomb from a scientific point of view.

Medical journals have done studies and they conclude that if you hold in a swear word after you've experienced sudden pain, like say you've stubbed your toe, your heart rate rises and you actually feel pain longer than if you'd said, fiddle sticks—unless fiddle sticks is a bad word for you. Check out an article about cursing and pain here.

But this isn't about science, it's about sensitivity and perceived values.

As a writer you need to take yourself out of the equation and let your characters be themselves. And if that means Daniel says, "This is too fucking weird." Then he should be allowed to say it. If he'd said, "This is too flippin' weird." It would have felt fake and the reader would have been taken out of the story.

I suspect the swearing is an issue because NIGHT SHIFT is a YA novel and not adult fiction. And why should it matter? Teens can pick out a poorly placed curse or a misused slang a mile away.

I'm not into censorship. I am all about genuine story telling and realism. I feel badly the reader totally missed the whole point of the novel because of three f-bombs.

So, should there be swearing in YA?

It's up to your character, not you. If dropping an f bomb in a scene is authentic and an expected reaction, then yes. If it's something your character wouldn't normally say, but you think there should be swearing to make it edgier or more appealing to some YA readers, then no. It will come off as fake.

And we all know there's no faking it in YA.

What are your thoughts on swearing in literature?

By the way, let's all prove that there is no such thing as bad publicity. Click on this link to check out the first chapter of NIGHT SHIFT. Spoiler, the first f-bomb shows up in chapter eighteen.

Congratulations! You made it to the end of the post. As a reward, enjoy this audio clip of what has recently been judged as the most beautiful nature sound in the world.

The Bachelor Season 18, Episode 5 "Making Out, Freaking Out, and Backing Out."

Juan Pablo may be charming the ladies on the show, but he's no Tom Branson. Just sayin...

Another single father looking for love in Downton Abbey.
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The remaining eleven contestants are whisked off from South Korea to Vietnam.
Juan tells us he's excited to take things to the next level.

Oh my nerves. When they start talking about 'the next level' you know someone will end up crying.

Kat says, “Korea was beautiful, but this is like...trees, flowers and nature.”

She should work for Hallmark.


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The girls freak out at the super fantastic luxury apartment.

Nikki lets us know she wants a one on one so bad. Remember how much crying she did last episode?

Renee gets to go on the solo date. She said it would be perfect if they finally kiss.

This should be interesting. I feel like he's kept her around because she's so good at consoling the other girls.

They go to a market place and it's so humid they're both sweating through their shirts. He takes her to a shop where they custom tailor a dress for her.

Then they stroll along, sample food, shop, take selfies, and talk about their kids. It's casual...maybe too casual.

Let's fast forward to the evening portion of the date. Renee shows up in her custom designed dress.

Juan tells us, “She looks good in that dress.”

Good...not amazing. Interesting.


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Renee loves the romantic setting of the restaurant. Juan keeps her talking about her son, Ben.

He says, “She's a good mom. Maybe there is something here.”

Renee keeps leaning in, but he only brushes the hair off her face.

However, he gives her a date rose and a kiss...on the cheek.

They put lighted lanterns in the water and make wishes. Renee wishes for a kiss. Juan explains to us that he's not going to kiss Renee because he respects the fact she has a son at home.

So does Cassandra, but he kissed her!

The group date begins with the girls partnering up to go rowing in circular bamboo rafts. Claire gets the boat with Juan Pablo. He gives her a kiss the first time they get stuck in the vines.

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I guess he forgot Sean's rule about not making out in front of the other girls.

They come ashore spend time at a family garden.

Andi is totally bummed at being on a group date. She takes Juan Pablo aside to whine voice her concerns. He tells her, “I want you to be here. Trust me.”

She buys it.

During lunch, Claire spends a lot of time eating one piece of rice at a time. The waiter even asks if she was going to eat anything.

The sun goes down and that means only one thing—drinks and tears. He takes Claire first for some 'one on one' time and the other girls feel like they're on Claire and Juan's private date.

She tells us, “I'm not just here on a world tour. I'm here for him.”
Juan takes her to his suite because he wants to show her how special she is to him. They make out in the pool.

He takes Sharleen for a walk on the beach. She tells us, “It's hard to go from feeling special and singled out to a random face in the crowd. I need to understand that he sees me as a panda in a room full of brown bears.”

Hey, nothing wrong with brown bears.

She had a series of questions for him, but once they start kissing she forgets what she wants to ask him.

One by one Juan Pablo takes the girls away. Andi starts to feel doubtful again, but Juan takes her for a walk. They sit on the beach, watch the waves and make out.

Who will get the date rose?

Juan tells the girls he had great conversations with them all. Claire gets the date rose for “doing things out of her comfort zone.”

What? Eating?

Claire tells us she really wants to swim in the ocean. It's four in the morning so she calls on Juan Pablo. He's ready in two seconds. They make out in the waves.

Hello. Undertow.

                                                                            haveuheard.com Claire decides to really get out of her comfort zone and her bikini. She tells the camera, “Total bliss. You know when a baby giraffe is born with those wobbly legs? That's how it feels.”
Things that make you go, hmm.

Nikki gets ready for her date. She decides to wear a silver headband.

Juan says, “Last night I had a great night with Claire. She's sexy and she's got something that I like. But today I'm ready for Nikki. She's so smart and sexy too. I have feelings for both of them so its hard.”

Hard? *Giggles*

He takes her to a temple and they talk about how excited how excited they are to be with each other. Then he breaks the news they'll be repelling down a bottomless chasm.

What about swimming in the ocean? Maybe some pizza and a movie?

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Nikki fights the tears and says she's willing to take risks for love. Then she starts to panic and can't stop shaking.

I'm having flashbacks to Chelsie's bungee jump.

It takes them a hundred years to reach the bottom. Juan lets her rest for a bit and gives her some kissing therapy.

What magic does this dude have in his spit?

Nikki reaches the bottom and gets more kissing as reward. They escape and have dinner in a much nicer cave with candles and huge wine glasses.

They talk about faults and she teaches him how to pronounce pediatrics. She says she likes the innocence of kids—plus she has a huge heart and is super compassionate.

In case you're wondering, I'm a fabulous dancer and I make a mean meatloaf.

Juan tells her, “I like Nikki.” And he gives her the date rose.

In case you're wondering, I like maple syrup.

Nikki tells us, “I feel electrified. Like I stuck my finger in a light socket.”

I feel nauseous. Like I ate too much pizza.

The pre-rose cocktail party is decorated with lanterns. The girls are decorated in tight dresses and stilettos. Claire says she's ready to get out of her comfort zone.

Again?

Juan arrives and lets the girls know three of them will be going home tonight. He plants himself beside Claire and she gives the toast. “Here's to finding love and making love.”

Juan tells us, “What am I going to do? I love these girls. It's so hard.”

Hard. *Giggles*

Renee finally gets her kiss. Yay! I think church bells rang in the distance.

Juan monologues to the camera that he regrets what happened with Claire the 'other night.'

He asks her if anyone else knows. She says no. Juan tells her it probably wasn't right but it already happened. So, yeah...

????

Claire gets weepy and tries to explain her motivation for 'the other night.'

He tells her he wants to be fair to the other girls.

Sounds like somebody has some regrets. Sounds like somebody is trying to back out of something.

But she says it's all about how your heart feels. He says he doesn't want his daughter to see what happened.

Well, then maybe you shouldn't have gone into the water, Dummy.

Claire does her best pout. “I feel stupid and embarrassed.”

He says, “I just want you to know what I'm thinking.”

Claire cries to the camera, “I really try to follow my heart. I only have the best intentions. I didn't want to disrespect his daughter.”

She leaves the party and threatens to 'crawl back in her shell'. Juan follows her.

Dummy.

I can't handle this anymore. *Hits fast forward*

The girls are wondering what all the drama is about. I predict this will be the main topic during the 'girls tell all' episode.

It's time for the rose ceremony.

The Host brings up the fact the mood got tense but that's good because it means they're emotionally invested...it's also good for ratings.

Sharleen gets the first rose, followed by Cassandra, Chelsie (go science), and Kat.

The last rose goes to...Andi.

Going home are Danielle, Kelly, and Alli. To be honest, I can't remember Alli. And Danielle seems to normal to be on the show anyway. I suspect she's was doing research as a psychiatric nurse.

Juan cries while he hugs them good-bye.

Danielle realizes there wasn't a strong connection and she said it was hard to see him cry.

Alli pulls it together and lets us know Juan is special and deserves good love.

Oh, don't worry, Alli, he has.

Still Juant more bachelor recaps?

The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 1 " Girls Just Juanna Have Fun "
The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 2 " Boobs, Blindfolds, and Bathroom Breakdowns "
The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 3 "Splashing, Soccer, and Poolside Sobbing"
The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 4 "K-pop, Karaoke, and Kissing"

My Open Letter to Book Reviewers

authorpublishingservices.com

I recently I saw a tweet in which a book blogger was hesitant to write a poor review based on her dislike of the novel.

The reason?

She didn't want to upset the author.

Let me ask this...

Who is the real audience?

Yup, that's right, the readers. Not the author.

Book reviews are for people who may consider buying/reading the book. The author has already read the book—probably a hundred times. 

Here are the three top reasons I will never read reviews of my books.

#1. It won't improve my writing. That's why critique partners and editors exist.

#2. It could be filled with accolades and only one complaint, but that negative comment would stick with me. The last thing any writer needs is more self doubt.

#3. Time spent in front of the computer searching for reviews of my books is a waste of my time. Instead, I should be working on my blog, answering e-mails, paying bills, surfing Pinterest, or how about this one...writing.

I have a ton of respect and admiration for people who review books. It's hard work I tell you. HARD WORK. I hated doing book reports in school. But these 'consumers of all things written' do it because they LOVE it...and for FREE.

There's this girl, Amy Mathers, and she's doing something above and beyond.

She's embarking on a journey to read one Canadian-authored book every day of the year. She'll be reading teen fiction books from every province and territory, exploring Canada and promoting Canadian teen authors and books by finishing a book a day for each day of 2014. She will write a review for each book she reads, and invites people to share their thoughts on the books she reads too.

Amy's marathon will raise money for the The Canadian Children's Book Centre in order to endow a Canadian teen book award to be presented at the yearly Canadian Children’s Literature Awards gala.

That's 365 book reviews, people! Anne Shirley would be ever so impressed!

In advance of my YA novel, Busgirl Blues, coming out this fall, I want to thank bloggers out there who will read my book. I won't read your review, but I thank you for taking the time.

Now go follow Amy on twitter, facebook and check out her website.

And here's some advice on how to handle a snarky review.

Congratulations! You made it to the end of the post. As a reward, please enjoy this Gravity Falls short!

The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 4, "Karaoke, K-pop, and Kissing"

sidereel.comThere are thirteen girls left. And their prize for making it this far is a free trip to Seoul, South Korea! The girls squeal because they're so excited to finally visit Seoul.

I'm pretty sure twelve of them couldn't find it on a map.
They land in Seoul and run down the streets full of giddy adventure. They lay about the posh hotel, but soon tears are falling when the group date card is read out loud.
Nikki is bummed to be going on another group date.
But, but...you're in Seoul!
Juan takes the girls dancing at a K-Pop studio with 2NE1. Yes, the 2NE1. He says the girl who can dance is the girl who can steal his heart.
The girls show off their 'skills.' Kat works it like a pole dancer.
2NE1 tries to give them some choreography. Kat is practically bouncing out of her leotard. Nikki has less moves than a white dude on crutches. And Kat's over the top jazz hands make her want to stick needles in her eye.
When they learn they'll be joining 2NE1 on stage that night, Nikki looks like she's ready to curl into the fetal position.
The girls get dolled up in make-up and wardrobe. They enter the foyer of the mega mall with five floors packed with screaming fans. 2NE1 comes on stage and invite the girls to join them as their backup dancers.



Nikki doesn't fall. Kat tells us, “I'm a K-Pop star!”
The evening portion of the date begins.
I'm guessing they're going to a have a restaurant to themselves that only serves booze.
Kat gets alone time with Juan first. Nikki suggests to the other girls how much they should dislike Kat because she has awesome dance moves and they don't. Danielle, the psychiatric nurse, listens patiently, secretly gathering material for her next case study.
When Nikki gets Juan alone she talks about how she's much better at changing diapers than dancing.
Nikki gets the date rose. And they finally kiss.
Elise says, “Yuck, I would never let her around my child.”
But she changes diapers really fast.
Sharleen gets chosen for the solo date. She tells us she's still not sure if Juan is the man she wants to marry.
She sounds so normal every time she speaks. Why is she even on this show?
They go through the marketplace and sample food and do some shopping. She tells us she is pleasantly surprised that he's so interesting and worldly. He asks her to sing for him. She says she never sings for a guy this early in a relationship.
She asks him to close his eyes, then lets it rip.
My eye glasses shatter.
It works. He's enamoured. They make out.
She tells us, “I like Juan Pablo. We could make a go of it.”
They discuss their experiences about moving to different countries when they were young. She tells him she once dated someone who had a daughter and she was conflicted because she knew she'd never have that first with him. He says, “Exactly! I appreciate your honesty.”
She gets the date rose.
For the next group date, Juan takes the girls to a karaoke bar. Then they peruse the marketplace, go on paddle boats, and get pedicures with little fish nibbling on their dead skin. Claire chomps on her gum, doing whatever she can to get Juan's attention.
We move onto the evening portion which I'm guessing will include bitching, back stabbing and boozing.
Juan is determined not to kiss any of the girls tonight, even after Renee asks him.
Awkward.
Claire interrogates each of the girls when they return from their one on one time.
Lauren, the music composer chick, who I can't believe is still on the show, asks for a kiss and when he turns her down, she cries.


Claire uses her one on one time with Juan Pablo to tell him how when she ate the octopus, she threw up in her mouth and then swallowed it back down.
And what does he do with this information?
He kisses her.
Liar, liar, pants on fire.
Andi gets the date rose.
The girls gather for the pre-rose ceremony cocktail party.
FYI, stilettos and ancient temples don't mix.
Claire tells Juan Pablo, “Just being here...?” Then she shakes her head, “has been like more than I would have ever expected. Yeah.”
Hmm. She should work for Hallmark.
Nikki interrupts their alone time, even though she already has a rose.
How selfish!
Claire is so upset she almost eats octopus by mistake.
It's time for the rose ceremony.
Renee gets the first rose, followed by Chelsea, Kelly 'the dog lover', Danielle, Cassandra...yada, yada, yada...
Going home are Lauren, the music composer, and Elise.
Elise says, “This sucks. Who knows what's in store now?”
A twelve hour flight back home, that's what.
Lauren reflects she probably shouldn't have cried when he didn't kiss her. And then she starts to cry.
Dear girls,
Dry your tears. The sun will come out again. And don't sign up for any more reality shows. 

Juant more?

The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 1 " Girls Just Juanna Have Fun "
The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 2 " Boobs, Blindfolds, and Bathroom Breakdowns "
The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 3 "Splashing, Soccer, and Poolside Sobbing"

 Congratulations! You made it to the end of the post. As your reward, enjoy this Duran Duran hit from the 80's.

Five Words to Cut from Your Manuscript

www.zazzle.com
If you're writing the first draft, come back later.

If you've finished the first draft and you're looking to clean up your manuscript, keep reading.

Top five words that have no business being in YOUR amazing story.


1. Just. If your sentence includes "just," take it out and see if the sentence still makes sense. If it does, leave it out.

2. That. Same as above. And if "that" is referring to a person, change it to "who." For example- "The guy that works in the coffee shop is my secret crush" sounds better written as "The guy who works in the coffee shop is my secret crush"

3. Many. Instead consider; teeming, bountiful, myriad, copious. Even better, give a precise number. Instead of, "I had no idea this many people would come to the play" say, "I had no idea there would be almost a hundred faces staring at me on stage"

4. Very. This is perfectly acceptable for the first draft, but there's always a better way to convey the same idea. "Very clean" can be replaced with "spotless".

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5. Most adverbs. Usually there's a stronger verb that can convey your idea without the aid of an adverb. "He fled down the hallway" is stronger than "He ran quickly down the hallway." A sprinkling here and there is fine, but if every second sentence contains a word ending in 'ly' your prose will be distracting.

BONUS: Write with language your character would normally use. An English professor and a street wise gang leader should have their own distinct, and flavorful point of view. Let your characters be genuine.

Happy editing! 

The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 3 "Splashing, Soccer, and Poolside Sobbing"

pinterest.comIt's a new week and there are only fifteen girls left!

Cassandra, the cry baby from last episode, is going on the next solo date. She keeps telling us she hasn't been on a date since she was eighteen and she's really nervous. Juan Pablo tells us he realizes she has a child waiting for her at home and won't waste her time.

They spin around in an amphibious vehicle. That's a car that can drive on land and be a power boat on the water. We have several in Halifax for tourists, they're called the Harbour Hoppers.

catcountry995.ca
Cassandra has never heard of these. She says, “This is like something out of a movie.”

Or Halifax.

They 'park' beside a yacht and Cassandra is no longer worried or nervous. She peels off her cover-up, showing off her bikini. She says, “I'm going to trust Juan.”

'Trusting' Juan looks a lot like making out with Juan.

After frolicking in the water, they go back to his mansion and he cooks for her. She reminds us again that she hasn't dated in three years. He gives her an impromptu dance lesson to make her more comfortable.

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She says, “I'm so surprised I'm so relaxed.”

It's the wine, sweetheart.

They move onto dessert. She tells us again she hasn't had a date in three years. They look at pictures of each others kids. Cassandra tells Juan she's having a great time with him today. Guess how long it's been since she's felt like this for a guy?

Yes, that's right. Three years! Which coincidentally is how this episode already feels.

The next day Juan takes the group date to a soccer field.

Side note, girls play waaaaay dirtier than any FIFA match. This should be interesting.

The girls show up and watch Juan play with the Galaxy team. The dudes show off their moves for the screaming ladies.

Oh Gawd! Horrible high school flash back.


Allie, the Nanny, is also a soccer player so she's totally stoked to show off. The girls have a quick practice with Juan and then they split into teams.

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Sharlene uses all of her body parts to block the ball, including her face. Juan thinks her grit is attractive.

One team won, one team lost. Whatever.

The evening portion of the group date consists of wine, candles and couches throughout the empty stadium.

Juan takes Nikki for the first one on one. She talks about how scared she is to 'open up and put herself out there.'
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I wish I had a nickel for every frickin' time those girls said that phrase.

He takes Andi, the lawyer, into the concession stand. They slip on slushies and talk about love. She tells us, “He makes me giddy.”

It's the sugar, babycakes.

Then they make out by the stainless steel fridge.

Allie tells Juan she wants to have five or six kids so they can have their own soccer team.

Nice strategy, Allie.

Juan takes Sharleen to the middle of the field and lays down a blanket. I'm waiting for her to break out into an aria. They have a steamy kiss and the other girls watch from the upper bowl.

But it's Nikki who gets the date rose.

Andi quickly questions her kissing technique, while Sharleen tells us. “I'm surprised by how much that bothers me.”

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Chelsea, "the science educator", is going on the last solo date. Juan says he wants to make her fears go away and starts singing to the Spanish song on the car radio. She rocks it out like any white girl who is desperate to look cool.

They eat burritos and stuff, then he takes her bungee jumping off a bridge.

Yup. That should help get rid of her fears. What the heck is it with these bachelors making the girls do these ridiculous stunts?

They get strapped together and Chelsea tells him she's terrified.

Juan tells us he's going to try and make her feel comfortable.

God, I hope he doesn't start signing again. If he really wanted her to be comfortable he'd let her back off.

They he says, “We'll do whatever you want to do.”

She steps on the ledge, then they back up...again. He tells her it's okay.


I'll spare you the next ten minutes of the back and forthing that keeps happening. She doesn't want to do it, but she's worried she's not going to get a rose.

Then they jump. Once the bouncing stops, they kiss, upside down, Spiderman style.

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She says, “If we can jump off a bridge together we can do anything.”

They have a private dinner—or at least there are candles and wine glasses.

Juan tells her his biggest fear is not being a role model for his daughter. Chelsea says she's most afraid of not being happy.

Really? I thought it was heights.

Then she tells him she's the black sheep of the family because she's a teacher and the rest of her family are dentists and doctors.

Hmm...brag much?

She gets the date rose.

Then they're treated to a private concert.

*Hits fast forward*

Listen, until they get Duran Duran up there, I'm not watching.

The next morning Juan surprises the girls with an early morning visit to make them breakfast. He looks hot, they're in panamas and no makeup. Afterwards, there's a pool party.

*Cue the bikini's and cat claws*

They all preen themselves pool side staring at Juan's abs.

Sharleen gets a little weepy and tells Juan all the cameras are freaking her out a bit. The cuddle turns into a kiss. Some of the girls aren't impressed. Claire escapes to the house to cry. Renee goes into therapy mode with her.

Oh-uh. Juan forgot Sean's golden rule; Don't make out when the other girls are watching.

Renee must be getting tired of listening to all these crying girls.

Claire goes to see Juan on the cuddle couch and lets him know she's NOT jealous but it was hard listening to hear all the girls talk about their awesome solo dates. Plus, she's been 'putting herself out there' and it's scary.

Juan charms her and soon she's smiling.

Renee and Juan should open up their own counselling clinic.

The rose ceremony is next.

The girls get their make-up and stilettos on.

Andi, the lawyer, gets the first rose. Followed by Renee, Kelli and her dog, Sharleen, Elise, and a few others. I can't name them all because I don't want to get too attached.

The last rose goes to...Danielle.

Lucy the free spirit and some blond chick I don't even recognize, are going back home to real life.

Too bad, they didn't even get a chance to leave the continent.

The blond cries and says this is her worst nightmare. Lucy is also weepy but she leaves us with some hopeful words. “I hope everyone in there finds love one way or the other because everyone deserves to be loved.”

Well, Lucy, at least two people will be happy.

Thirsty for more?

The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 1 " Girls Just Juanna Have Fun "

The Bachelor, Season 18, Episode 2 " Boobs, Blindfolds, and Bathroom Breakdowns "